#that is not me. I’m never more insecure about my appearance than during pregnancy.
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harmonizewithechoes · 2 years ago
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peaches2217 · 10 months ago
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how would the bros' royal lovers feel about their post-partum bodies? of course, we all know they'd find peach/peas to still be beautiful no matter what, but would there be a level of self-consciousness there? this is the most wholesome stuff and you're giving me fictional baby fever, too!
Anon, I am so glad you asked! (And welcome to the club! 🥳)
TW: Body dysmorphia and related topics
Peasley doesn’t care. He knows he’s hot shit, no matter what he looks like. He’d dramatically strip naked for Luigi and say some shit like “Behold! This is the body which grew and nurtured our child, divinity itself!” and Luigi would be like “Hell yeah :D ” If anything, Luigi might end up worrying about his own appearance, since he’s normally so well-groomed; he’d lament that his hair and mustache look untidy because he’s just too tired from late nights with the baby to put as much thought as normal into his appearance, and Peasley would assure him that he’s just as handsome now as always.
“I don’t look quite the same as I did this time last year either, you know,” says the guy who, objectively speaking, looks way worse for the wear, “yet I’m still the physical embodiment of perfection. You’re no different, my love.” Luigi is one of the few people Peasley thinks of more highly than himself; there’s very little room for bodily insecurity. 😂
Peach is another story. I headcanon that she has insecurities regarding her body image, though it’s less to do with maintaining a certain physique and more to do with wanting to be healthy and physically capable (y’know that long-ass fic I keep talking about that I’ve got in the works? That’ll be one of the topics it touches on!). She does get self-conscious about her body sometimes during pregnancy, but it’s easily rectified with love and reassurances! Postpartum… not so much.
For whatever reason, the last month of her pregnancy takes a lot out of her, more so than expected, and it takes a few months to really gain her strength and energy back. She spends several weeks more or less confined to her chambers because she’s so frail, and when she tries to go for walks to get some fresh air and exercise, she gets winded and has to go back inside in like half an hour’s time. And by Toadessa’s assessment, there’s nothing they can really do to expedite the healing process — she’s doing everything right and is perfectly healthy otherwise. Some people just take longer to bounce back, and that process is complicated by the energy and resources needed to care for a newborn. The best she can do is rest.
And her frustration with her slow healing process ends up manifesting as frustration with her body as a whole. Like most people postpartum, she’s dealing with extra weight and stretched and sagging skin, and that coupled with the exhaustion of a new parent makes her feel like she’s some sluggish, disgusting creature that’s loathsome to even look at. She keeps expecting to see some sign of it reflected in Mario’s face, a look of pity or maybe even disgust that confirms her suspicions.
It should go without saying that that never happens. Mario knows how she feels, because this has happened before in another context (enter my long-ass wip!), and he knows “You’re still beautiful and perfect and I love you and (respectfully) want you to suffocate me between your thighs” ain’t gonna cut it when she feels so intensely about her body. So what’s a guy to do? Well, he knows it’s less about her physique and more about her vitality, so he helps her in regaining it.
He finds energizing exercises that are postpartum friendly for her to try and then does them with her, or he’ll join her for her walks, or anything else that will naturally build her back up, because she’s much less apt to get discouraged and call it quits when he’s there. It doesn’t matter how much physical activity actually gets done or if they spend more time taking breaks than actually moving. He gets her laughing and talking and thinking about things other than how inadequate she feels, and he makes sure she only pushes herself as far as she can reasonably go, and by the time Peach willfully puts an end to their routines, she already feels a thousand times better. When she feeds and rocks their baby, she spends less time staring in disdain at her figure and questioning how well she can raise a child if she can’t even take care of herself and more time reveling in the joys of motherhood, feeling on top of the world once more, and it’s a welcome change for all involved.
But above all, Mario makes it clear that, whether she becomes the buffest MILF on the planet or whether she wakes up tomorrow and decides she’s perfectly happy with where she’s at right now, he’s going to think she’s beautiful. He doesn’t care what she looks like so long as she’s happy with herself.
“You think my stomach’s finally getting a little flatter?” she asks one night, contentedly flustered beneath his touch.
“I think you look more confident than you ever have,” he tells her.
“You’re dodging the question, Mario.”
“Nope!” He kisses the tip of her nose. “Just focusing on what really matters.”
With time, Peach comes to agree with his sentiment.
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mochikeiji · 3 years ago
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Request: "Hi! I really love you're writing and was wondering if you could do prompt 25+29 for Kuroo Tetsuro from Haikyuu? And could it be angst to fluff? (Maybe Kuroo was ignoring the reader due to lots of work/stress so reader feels neglected?) It's totally up to you tho! Ty so much!!"
25. "Would you notice if I was gone?"
29. "I didn't mean it."
↠ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x F!Reader
↠ Warning: angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy and kuroo's sad childhood
↬ Word Count: 3.7k
↠ a/n: okay this is my longest one yet. I swear the prompt screams angst to fluff so much that I go into it.
↳ from Go! Go! Gogatsu Event
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Kuroo Tetsuro achieved many great things in life after graduating from his university, with multiple acknowledgements and honors. Landed a position as a young CEO from a sports association at the age of 24, he had enough money in his pocket and bank to stable both of you financially. Life was good to him after having to build from the roots  of his ruined childhood; the only years of defeat Kuroo doesn't ever want to repeat. His father and mother were in the same position as you both are; owning your own shared house, good working environment, investments and stability, married.
Up until this day Kuroo questions why his parents split. They were fortunate that they had every thing completed, sadly it was the family and love that wasn't taken care of. You could be the happiest person, yet the void inside would still be there, Kuroo thought. Foolish people were to neglect something more valuable than any object that is given. Whether it was his father or his mother that stopped nurturing what they both bonded for the longest time, they were both fools to let each other go over something simple. He vows to never let history repeat itself.
But now the tables seemed to have flipped for the both of you. Your lives not far from what he had ran away from. If Kuroo could eat his words back, he would've now that he was running late yet again to coming home, forgetting about the promise he swore to about joining you after a full month of being occupied in his office. Coming home to have you already tucked in bed, but suffering in silence.
Most days he didn't bother greeting you in the morning and night. As a good wife, you understand. He was a busy man with an important position to maintain.
There were times where you'd be tapping your foot down on the floor as the clock strikes at an ungodly hour with your messages still not bothered to be replied to or even read. But you understand. He's working! Always doing what he can for the both of you like the good husband he wanted to be.
Even if sometimes he'd come home without a kiss or a simple, "I missed you." you understand. He's drained. No time for silly, endearing affections. You've done them a lot before back when you were younger. You're adults! Married! A married partner shouldn't be feeling so needy when the other was only doing their part.
Even when sometimes your insecurities would kick in whenever you'd visit your husband to drop his forgotten lunch again, only to see him flocked by different women; probably secretaries, interns, and assistance.
You understand. You always did took such good care of what you two have.
Well had.
His home office door slams shut, awakening you from your nap on the couch. Didn't Kuroo notice you when he walked in? Looking at the clock you noticed it was near 11:30 PM since he's arrived. Late again, maybe he hasn't eaten anything? No worries, you thought sadly. Stretching your aching muscles, you made your way to the dining area. So far dinner was left untouched once more. Just how many times has it gone to waste because you continued on cooking for two?
Or rather, three.
You beam at the sudden reminder while preparing your husband's plate. You'd always miss him whenever he'd come home, never had the chance to surprise him at the right time of your little discovery about a week ago. Fear did struck you because of the possible reactions he'd give, but you were so excited in sharing the news that a couple would share the equal happiness from, you couldn't contain it any longer.
Maybe you should've chosen another time unbeknownst to you how your husband was hunched over his desk, clearly in displease of the previous events that had occurred during the meeting back in his office. Hence why his work stack added more piles of predicaments, only fueling his headaches more wishing he could just lay down peace and quiet without disturbance.
He grumbles at the knock on his door, only typing furiously with emphasized taps on the keyboard. You, not sensing the emitting aura from the room took it as a response for you to enter. It surprised you a bit on how disordered his home office had become. It was obvious his coat had been thrown carelessly as it lays on the floor, wrinkled. Carefully placing the plate full of food on the small coffee table at the side, you gingerly picked up the article of clothing. Lightly trying to smoothen out the lines before hanging it behind his door and turning back to your husband.
"Tetsu?" cautiously calling out his name, you were kind of wary at the fact he didn't turn to see you unlike he does before whenever you'd enter the room. "I brought you your dinner. You came home pretty late." you tried to maintain the light hearted tone of your voice to hide how nervous you were in telling him the big news.
The atmosphere was kind of eerie when all he did was hum meekly from your words. Feeling a bit disheartened from his lack of attentiveness, still forcing a smile, you padded a little closer behind him with your hands clasps together. "I also wanted— well needed to tell you something." averting your eyes away from him as you prepared in your head. With a small hope he'd turn around for once after a long time.
"Can it be another time? I'm in the middle of stuff here."
Another time.
Why is it always next time? It's frustrating enough to not see him or have him speak to you even for a moment, but this made your stomach churn in an unpleasant way. Frowning at his poor reply, you gulped a few of your sentence back. Not fully trusting your emotions getting in the way, "You never really talked to me before, Tetsu.. I get that you're busy, but it wouldn't hurt for you to give a little minute for me."
Even just a second as long as he'd finally notice you.
"(Y/n) if you understand then why bother? You can clearly see I'm busy." chest huffing out a harsh sigh, still not bothering to turn around. Gripping your hands tightly, your patience were starting to snap. "You're always busy, Tetsu! I never had a proper conversation with you again." raising the volume of your voice a little made his actions come to a halt. Chair revolving around to face you. His appearance made it obvious how exhausted he has been; tousled hair that he usually takes longer to style, the light forming bags underneath his eyes from the screen and lack of sleep. The visible annoyance marked in his expression. But couldn't he say the same for you?
"Fine. Here, you have my attention now. Are we talking properly now?" his way of provoking you wasn't in the right place. It only made you look at him in disbelief because you've grown to never meet such side of your husband before. The news you had originally planned to share vanished from your head, replaced with the restrained emotions that has been building up inside your heart, tipping over.
"Tetsu, what is wrong with you?" looking at him now seemed like you were talking to someone else. His words were curt and short with no intention of prolonging the conversation, itching to get back to work so he could be done with it. "I already you I'm just busy. I would be done by now if you didn't want to talk properly with me." he says as if he's the one in distraught. "Seriously, nothing's wrong but I think you aren't. You're never like this."
"That's because you never cared to noticed in the first place!" wailing out the collapsed emotions that has weighed you heavily. It was too late to stop yourself from voicing out the things your husband left aside. A full month of being a good, understanding image of a wife thrown away to the rubbles without even appreciating the the long nights of you waiting up for him, cooking meals even though the next day they'd end up being in the trash, tolerating the coldness of the used to be warm sheets, putting up with the insecurities you took upon yourself to hide to avoid troubling your husband further when all you wanted was for him to assure you that he still loves you and only you.
The fascade you put up just for him crumbles. And it infuriates you more of how he still doesn't notice.
"(Y/n), you know I've been working! There's so much stuff that needs to be attended for just so you and I could live normally!"
"Tetsuro, we are stabled, it's okay to slow down a bit. How is this any normal to you when you don't even realize how this affects me?!"
The chair slides back roughly against the floor with a loud creak as he towers over you. Glowering eyes with a dark expression looming over his face, clearly now enraged. "You're being selfish right now. I'm here doing what I can to support us and all you could think of was you, you, you. Can't you see I'm doing this for you as well? God what else do you want from me, the world?"
"I only wanted you to give me your time and attention even just for a second, Tetsuro! I've been doing my best for you all this month and I never said anything to trouble you!"
It hurts when he said how you were being the selfish one when it was the opposite. It dawned to you that all those days of giving your all for him wasn't once noticed. "Will you ever grow up already? Attention? Really? We're adults, (Y/n) not teenagers for fucks sake. My time is just wasted because of you!" he doesn't stop there even if you've had your mouth already shut from how he portrayed you as. His words were beginning to leave a deep scar in you as you quiet down to the next line.
"If you think that nothing is troubling me, there is! And you just happen to add in for crying out loud!"
There were no words exchanged after his meltdown. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he looks away from you— who's eyes were already watery. Unable to even tell your side anymore at the ache of your heart. "So..I'm just troubling you then?" quivering out your words, Kuroo clenches his jaw as the bubbling frustration was being held back with the last bit of restrain he had.
"Would you notice if I was gone, Tetsu?"
Instead of being alarmed by your chosen form of sentence, you watched with sad eyes as your husband pulled back his chair and faced his workload. He didn't even noticed you're already crying silently, "Not now, (Y/n). We'll talk later."
He doesn't even noticed how you walked out sobbing with a shattered heart nor the door in the living room closing. Leaving him alone for the next few hours in peace like he wanted.
Time went on quickly when one doesn't take their eyes off from their consecutive workaholic state. With a groan, he almost slams his laptop shut before stretching his bones, slowly relaxing the tense muscles. It's up to his co workers and assistance to deal with the load he's prepared to dump onto them after they threw all theirs to him. Hoping to freshen up his face, Kuroo tidies his desk up before making his way to the door. Stopping in realization of the now cold dinner that was left on the coffee table.
His stomach growled loudly at the lack of food it's digested in the longest run. It was still good if he heats it up, he does miss eating home made meals than his stale ones back in the cafeteria of his workplace. Grabbing the plate carefully he first made a short journey to the kitchen to heat up his food. Unusual it was to have all the lights out in the house. You'd always leave some opened when he was awake. Then again the guilt started to crawl up to his chest knowing he's the cause of why you'd forgotten.
Now entering the bathroom with water running down his face, he plans ahead the apology he owes you when he wakes up tomorrow morning. He could reschedule his own time since he is the boss. He closes the faucet right after he was done rinsing. Looking around for the towel his eyes caught something below the small organizer you put up next to the sink. Grabbing the towel above the first part of the organizer, bending down slowly to avoid getting cramps, his actions were quick to grab the object that caught his attention the moment it seemed so familiar and surprising.
Pregnancy test. Two lines for positive.
Having a child with you was the last thing he's yet to accomplish from his list, and here it was. As much as he wanted to be in denial, it all felt like surge of contentment drowns him in because he was going to be a dad. However his body began to tremble whilst still holding the test and staring intently at it. The previous guilt that was crawling beneath his bones became a dark, desolated hole of anxiety and fear that ate him whole. The things he's said and done will never be taken back no matter how he apologizes to the past events a few hours ago.
Hours ago. It was already 2:25 when the fight had ceased. Deep down he knows he couldn't wait until the next day to plead for forgiveness. After all, he did vow to never leave you both a day feeling heavy alone. Kuroo felt nauseous of how much of an asshole he had treated you. Like starting a game of volleyball once more, he was beyond nervous when he approached your shared bedroom. There was no excuse of his actions indeed as he solemnly enters the dimmed room. He sighs a little shaky when he closes in your bed, "Baby?" he starts, "Baby, are you awake?" it was one of the little things he's memorized that you'd do when you both aren't in good terms. You never really slept, just pretended because you always had the heart to wait up for him.
When he gets no response he reaches out to pat you, only coming to the sense that the sheets were left untouched; no warmth traced behind. You weren't there, any where. His blood runs cold and immediately fishes out for his phone in his pocket, speed dialing your number while he circles the entire area of the house in case you'd be there. Now he was more terrified when he hears the familiar voice mail from the living room couch where you had slept while waiting for him.
You left your phone. His wife wasn't home— his pregnant wife.
"Fuck." running a rough hand through his tangled hair. The lump on his throat grows but he refuses to let out a string of sobs. It was his fault you were gone at such an ungodly hour. Kuroo felt more than a bigger asshole than before he's made you come to the point of leaving home. Just as his mother did and never returned. The one thing he swore you two would never be the same came to life, only thought now is Kuroo doesn't know whether you've left him for good after being a neglectful husband and to have dishearten his own beloved wife like that.
"Would you notice if I was gone?"
Rang in his head as he stood outside the neighborhood, running. Chasing after a hallucinated image of you any place he tried to remember you'd be in. A fool he has been to have left you in a loveless marriage. He loves you, he really does. He can't imagine a life without you in it. Just as it was about to become the happiest he's wanted, he pushed it all too soon. A bad husband, he cries. "(Y/n), please come home." legs aching and panting from having to study all areas. It was pitch black; there were no opened spots for you to even go at an hour of slumber and chaos. The only convenient store did not even have you in it. You were no where to be seen and Kuroo breaks.
Of course he'd notice when it was all too late. The past he's ran away from was still the place he's returned now that the house was only occupied by nothing but rotten memories of the love he didn't took care of. The exact replica of a married life he desperately tried to dodge. "I'm so sorry." for the lonely nights he's left you to sleep, over thinking of what may have been your fault and always figuring him out tirelessly. For the small efforts of adoration he didn't took a glance at and gone to waste. For the words that were never even meant for you to ever feel. For being a neglectful husband. He was sorry he noticed too late how he ruined his precious wife.
Now he's left you on your own out in the dangers outside. If anything horrible happened to you he will forever be crushed. But the world thinks that second chances are given to those who truly deserve them after you came in quietly, slipping off your sandals and waving back to your friend who had dropped you off home. Your short break to the convenient store changed when you met up with her and drove back to her place to rant about what happened. Being the sluggish person you are whenever sadness hits, you never noticed how long you've over stayed. It wasn't like your husband was going to know if he still was working.
Much to your surprise that he wasn't, you stifled a gasp to find him with his hands holding his head that was leaned down on the table. His shoulders were lightly jolting with escapes of audible sniffles, indicating that he was in fact crying. If he looked exhausted before, it wasn't enough to describe his current state; as if he was a man who'd lost every thing as he sat there with all hope lost. Your foot padded on the creaky part of the floor in attempt to tiptoe over his hunched back to comfort him. Squeaking in the awkward situation you've put the room in when Kuroo turns his head behind to see you standing there a bit frightened, but concerned when you saw how disheveled his face looks.
"Tetsu—" his name got cut off short from when you almost tripped over your balance at the sudden impact of Kuroo throwing himself into your arms with his weight. You couldn't make out what he was mumbling on about, but you melt to his embrace even if he squeezes the living day lights from you, afraid that he was going crazy and you weren't real. "Thank God," litters of kisses were placed on your clavicle, "You're back."
He repeats, slowly convincing himself that you are indeed home in his arms, safe, no harm detected. Just home. "I'm so sorry.."
"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of what I said, I-I'm so sorry." your bodies swayed gently to the sound of your hushes and his cries of apologies. "Please don't leave me like that again. I was so scared."
"Shhh, it's okay, Tetsu. I'm sorry. I'm okay— we're okay." leading him to sit down at the couch, you placed the bag of different brands of sweets and junk on the table before facing your husband. You had to stifle in a laugh watching him wipe his nose, you couldn't help but be reminded of a mini Tetsuro by looking at him. The argument that stung you faded when he took a hold of your hands and mumbled another apology.
"You shouldn't be sorry for anything. I should be.." flickering his eyes from your belly to your bloodshot eyes from your own fiasco back in your friend's place, he slides in closer next to you where your shoulders touched. "I haven't been a good husband lately, have I?" he looks at you expectantly. Frowning, you still nodded. Tired of hiding your own feelings from him.
"I know you're busy most of the time, Tetsu. But I just wanted you to recognize me as your wife." thumbs quick to swipe away the tear that had shed from your eye, "We're in this together, remember?" he pulls you right from the arm, shoving your face to his chest in need to hold you for all the times he should've. Ignoring the dampness of his white long-sleeved polo, breathing in the scent of your sweet shampoo. You were still so forgiving and understanding despite on how equally tired as he was you are.
"I'm so sorry I've made you feel as if I never cared anymore. You never deserved that." his lips found it's way to the crown of your head. "I don't deserve you, and I really don't want to lose you after me being stupid." giggling through tears, fist connecting a soft punch on his chest, bubbling a chuckle to the surface as he lightly pulls you away from hiding.
"I really didn't mean all of those things I've said, baby. I love you and only you." stroking ever so lovingly your cheek, you don't catch on to the fact that his other hand was placed over your stomach protectively. Making a silent promise to not only you, but the soon to be new addition to the family that he will never again neglect what he should've cherished more and looked after than the constant worries at the back of his head.
Because he will never again repeat the replica of a broken family he once was born in.
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© all content belongs to mochikeiji. Please do not repost or copy, ありがとうございました!! (=^・^=)
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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years ago
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hi! i love your blog! i was wondering if maybe you could write something where y/n and harry just had their first baby and they finally get some time to themselves and she's a little insecure about their first time after the post partum and nervous about her body or how it gonna feels like? thank uu💖
omg thank you 🥺🥺 I'm so sorry this took so long! i hope you like it :)
a very romantic bath for two
warnings: body insecurity, body image issues
word count: 2.8k
You sighed as you inspected your body in the mirror, running your fingers over the raised lines on your tummy and hips. Many of them were new; they had popped up sometime during your second trimester. At the time, you had been too busy worrying about the new life growing inside you and preparing to bring her home to focus too much on what was happening to your body. Even during the last few weeks of your pregnancy when you felt huge most of the time, Harry made sure to remind you constantly how much he loved you and your new body. He would rub your belly all the time, leaning down to kiss it and talk to your baby. He insisted it would help them develop faster once they were born, but you weren't quite sure where he got this "fact". You both knew he just liked being close to you and your baby.
He really hadn't left any room for you to be insecure during your pregnancy. He reassured you every day that you were more beautiful than ever, and he was always showing you how much he liked your new body. He could never keep his hands off you, always wanting to touch and hold you. It even got annoying at times, but mostly you appreciated it, and you were glad he never let your hormones get the best of you. Then, after Stevie was born, you were too busy and exhausted to even think about your appearance. You and harry were barely getting any sleep, and all of your time was devoted to caring for the newest member of your family. It wasn't until now, when Stevie was a little over 3 months old, that things started calming down a bit. She slept through the night most of the time, and you were finally coming out of that sleep deprived haze you had been in. Unfortunately, this gave you time to really look at yourself in the mirror. You had just gotten out of the shower, and Harry was with Stevie in the living room. You tilted to the side, looking at how much bigger your stomach was than before you had Stevie. The skin there was dimpled and soft, much more squishy than it used to be. And the stretch marks. They were everywhere, and much more prominent than they had ever been. You weren't sure if you would ever be able to get back to normal. Your negative thoughts were interrupted by a short knock on the door. You quickly wrapped a towel around yourself before you called, "You can come in!" Harry peaked his head into the room, smiling softly. "Sorry to bother you, but I'm out of wipes. I think there's another pack under the sink?" "No, it's okay, i was done," you smiled, reaching under the sink to grab the package. "Is she okay?" "She's fine, lovie," he smiled softly. "You don't have to feel bad being away for her for half an hour." "I know," you sighed. "But i still do. I hate not being next to her all the time." "Me too, i just want to hold her and never put her down." You nodded, sighing internally at how much you already missed your baby. "Why don't you finish up in here and then we'll make some lunch?" "Sounds good," you said, smiling at him in the mirror. Once the door was closed, you dropped the towel again. You really tried not to be too upset about how you looked, but it was hard. You knew if you told Harry he would just say the same thing, that it was normal and he thought you were beautiful. You didn't think that would help much. So you pulled on your old t-shirt and sweatpants, running a brush through your wet hair before making your way out to the kitchen. "Hi, baby," you smiled, picking Stevie up from the play mat on the floor. "I missed you." She snuggled against your chest, her head leaning on your shoulder as she let out a content little sigh. You leaned down, grabbing Stevie's rattle and putting it back in the toy box before you made your way into the kitchen. "How does spaghetti sound?" Harry asked. "Sounds good," you nodded, settling into one of the chairs at the dining table. you were about to pull off your shirt to feed Stevie, but the image of your prominent stretch marks made you reconsider. "Can you grab me one of the blankets?" You asked, but kept your eyes on Stevie. You knew if you looked up, you would see that sad and confused look on his face as he wondered why you suddenly wanted to cover yourself around him, and you really didn't feel like explaining your newfound insecurities right now. Thankfully, he didn't press for answers. "Sure, love. It's in the nursery?" You nodded, fiddling with the collar of Stevie's onesie to look busy. "Okay, I'll be right back," He gave a small smile before he left the kitchen. "What am i gonna do, hm?" You asked Stevie. She just blinked in response. Harry came back with the blanket, draping it over your shoulders from the front. "Thank you," you said quietly, adjusting the cover so you could pull your shirt up. "Of course, love," he replied, going back to the stove. "I wanted to ask you something, actually." You
hummed questioningly, eyes fixed on Stevie under the blanket. "Well, we just haven't had any time alone since Stevie was born, and my mum is dying to spend some more time with her, so do you think... I mean, only if it's okay with you, maybe we could have my mum take her for the weekend?" You hesitated, your heart suddenly beating much faster. Being away from Stevie for more than a day... of course you knew she would be safe and happy with Anne, but still... the thought made anxiety spike in your chest. Then there was the matter of being alone with Harry. You probably should feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but with the way you had been feeling about yourself lately, you couldn't bring yourself to care. But you also knew refusing this would cause all sorts of problems. It would make both Harry and Anne feel bad, and you really didn't want to upset anyone. So, taking a shaky breath in, you nodded. "We can do that. I just... i don't think I can do more than a day or two." "That's totally fine," Harry reassured you. "I don't want to be away from her for that long either. I was thinking we could drop her off Friday after lunch, then pick her up Saturday evening. Or sometime Sunday if they're really having a good time," he laughed. "They'll have all sorts of fun together, mum might not want to let her go so soon." You smiled at the thought of the pictures you knew Anne would send you. Stevie and her in the garden, Stevie in the stroller as they went for a walk, Stevie in the high chair while Anne baked cookies. "Okay. After supper we can get her stuff together." Harry beamed, coming over to kiss your forehead. "Thank you, baby. And if it gets to be too much, we can pick her up early. We can do whatever you need, okay?" Despite Harry's constant reassurance, you felt no less anxious the next day. You checked and re-checked Stevie's bag, making sure she had enough clothes to last her a week. "Lovie, she's only gonna be there for two days," Harry reminded you gently. "No, I know, but what if she spits up a lot? Sometimes she spits up a whole bunch and then she'll need to be changed, and what if-" "Hey, hey," he cut you off, placing his hands on your shoulders and speaking in a soothing tone. "It'll be alright. She's gonna be fine. She has enough clothes, and everything is gonna be okay." You nodded, taking a deep breath as you looked into his eyes. "Right. She's gonna be fine."
-----
"And the milk is here-" you held up several plastic bags- "I'll put this in the fridge. And to heat it up- wait, you already know how to heat up milk," you laughed nervously. "Um, and her onesies are all in the backpack. I have extras in there- a lot of extras, because sometimes she spits up a lot. And then her diffuser is in there too- we usually put a few drops of lavender oil in there, it helps her sleep. And diapers and wipes and diaper cream are all in the bag, and... oh! Her stuffed bunny. It helps her calm down if she's fussy. And I think... that should be everything," You exhaled, trying to smile at Anne. Harry put his arm around your waist. "Y/N, she knows how to take care of a baby. Look how well i turned out!" Despite how nervous you were, you managed to laugh. "Right. I'm just... I'm sorry, I've never been away from her." "It's alright," Anne smiled reassuringly. "I understand how scary it is to be away from her for the first time. But you can call or FaceTime, or if it's too much you can come pick her up." "Thank you," you sighed. "We should probably get going before i change my mind." Harry nodded, unbuckling Stevie from her carrier. He hugged her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. "I'll miss you so much," he said. "But you'll have so much fun with your grandma. And we'll see you soon, okay?" he kissed her one more time before handing her over to you. "Be good for your grandma, okay? I love you," you kissed her just like Harry had. "I love you so much." Before you could start crying, you handed her to Anne. "Thank you so much for this, Anne," you said. "We really appreciate it." "You're a godsend," harry agreed. "Thank you." "Of course, I'm happy to have her," Anne smiled. "Now shoo, so i can spend some time with her!"
-----
"It's so quiet," Harry said as you walked into the house. "I'm not used to it." "I know," You laughed. "There's no cartoons or baby shark, it's crazy." "Can't say I miss baby shark, though," he shook his head. "I think we need to find a new song for her." You nodded. "It got old really fast." "It did," he laughed. "And now... we can enjoy some peace... and quiet." He stepped closer to you, smiling as he heard your breath hitch. "I was thinking maybe we could have a bath together?" Your heart started thudding faster in your chest, and not for a good reason. "No," you said quickly. Too quickly. Hurt and confusion flashed across his face, and you immediately wanted to take back your words. "I just- I can't," you said quietly, stepping back. "Is there... did something happen?" he asked gently, eyes softening when he realized how close to tears you were. "What's the matter, love?" "Harry, I just can't," you shook your head as tears welled up in your eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm trying but I just can't get back to normal. I look terrible and I have all these stretch marks and everything is just wrong," you cried, bringing up your hands to cover your face. "Baby..." he whispered, moving closer and opening his arms. "Come here." You did as he asked, walking into his arms and leaning against him as you cried. "I just don't want you to see me," you sniffled. "Your body isn't wrong," he shook his head. "Not at all. It might look different than it did before, but that's because it went through something amazing. It gave us Stevie! It- you are perfect. Alright?" You nodded against his chest. "I just... i really don't like the way i look anymore and i don't think you will either." Since your face was pressed against his shirt, you didn't see the way his face dropped. You didn't see how much it hurt him to hear you talk about yourself this way. You felt him inhale a shaky breath before he hugged you tighter. "I'm so sorry you feel this way. I had no idea how much it was bothering you. I want- I want to show you how much I love you. Will you let me show you?" "How?" you said quietly. "Do you trust me?" You hesitated for only a moment before nodding. He smiled, pulling back and taking your hand. He lead you into your bedroom, closing the door behind the two of you. He crossed the room to stand in front of you again, his fingers gripping the hem of your shirt. "Can i take this off?" he asked quietly, keeping his eyes on yours. He must have sensed your hesitancy, because he dropped his hands down to his sides. "It's just me," he reminded you. "We don't have to if you don't want to, though." "No, it's... it's okay," You decided, raising your arms. He smiled gently, tugging the soft material up and over your head. You kept your eyes on him as soon as the shirt was off your head, too apprehensive to look down at your body. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. He hooked his fingers in the elastic of your sweatpants, looking at you again for confirmation. You nodded, allowing him to pull the rest of the clothing off your body and taking his hand to step out of them. He lead you over to the bed, keeping his eyes on yours the whole way. "Lay back," he instructed quietly, watching as you did what he said. He climbed into the bed behind you, settling himself between your legs to meet your eyes. "You're amazing," he smiled. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen." he brought his hand down to your stomach, and you cringed immediately when he brushed over one of the marks. "It's okay," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with these. You know what they are?" You shook your head. "They're little marks that remind us of Stevie. They show how strong you are for carrying her, and keeping her safe until she was ready to come out and meet us. And they show how someday, you'll be able to have another baby, and keep him or her safe just like Stevie. Right? That's all they are." He moved down, leaning his head closer so he could press a soft kiss to one of the marks near your hip. "I don't want you to change anything
about yourself," he said, moving his lips over the lines on your tummy. "I love you just the way you are." Tears were welling up in your eyes again, but this time they weren't from anxiety or fear. This time, they were because you felt overwhelmed by your love for him. "Harry..." He looked up, his face falling when he noticed the tears in your eyes. "No, please don't cry," he said, moving back up to hover over you again. "I'm sorry, please don't be upset," he frowned, wiping one of the tears away with his thumb. You shook your head. "That's not why- i just love you so much," you said, trying your best to smile. "I love you too," he smiled back, leaning down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, then your cheeks, and finally, your lips. "I love you so, so much, and I will show you every day if you'll let me," he sighed, moving off you to lay on his side. He kept one hand on your hip, helping you turn over to look at him. "I want you to tell me if you're ever feeling like this again, okay? I want to know so I can help you." "Okay," you nodded, still sniffling a bit. "Thank you." You leaned against him, tucking your head in his neck. "Thank you." "Of course, lovie." He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. "I want you to always know how loved you are. It doesn't matter how many times I have to remind you; i don't ever want you to feel like this and not tell me. I love you way too much to let you be this sad." "I will," you promised. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "it's okay," he soothed, running his hand up and down your back. "Do you think... it's okay if you're not ready yet, but do you think we could try taking a bath?" This time, you barely even hesitated before answering. "I think we can try," you nodded. "We can even turn off the lights if you want, just light a few candles," he mused, his face pressed gently against your hair. "It's more romantic that way anyways." "That sounds good," you laughed. "Come on then," he said, sitting up. "One very romantic bath for two, coming right up."
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sinner-as-saint · 4 years ago
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Afterglow - 3.
Mob!Seb x Surrogate!Reader.
Part 3 of the Afterglow series.
Run-through: The mob boss had everything one can ever want from life; power, money, fame. He was well respected and had people almost worshipping the ground he walked on. And yet, each day he came home to an empty, cold house; no warmth, no love around him. And each day, he tried changing that. Until one day he finally figured out how to; and he met you along the path. Having found each other, nothing in both your lives is ever the same again.
Themes throughout the series: mob!seb, surrogacy, fluff, smut, slight angst
a/n: This is it! We’ve reached the final part of Afterglow. Thank you to everyone who stayed till now. This story is special to me, and I’m so glad to see that you guys liked it as well! Thank you so much, I love you more than anything!!
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After that first night together, the following months were pure bliss.
Sure, some days were rough and others were terrible but for the most part; life was just better than it ever was for both of you, now that you were together.
You and Sebastian talked things out and worked on his possessiveness regarding you and the baby. He promised to calm down and let you be on your own whenever you wanted to. And he was indeed, improving. He wouldn’t call you as much when you were out with your friends, and he would even give you alone time in the house when you asked for it.
During one of your appointments to the doctor, they confirmed that you were indeed having a baby girl and you and Sebastian couldn’t be happier.
Yours and Sebastian’s relationship morphed into something much more solid as well. And then Sebastian felt like there was one more thing he needed to do to solidify what you had.
-
One day, while you were returning back home from a day out with some of your friends, you saw the cars of both yours and Sebastian’s lawyers coming out of the gates and you rushed inside to ask Seb all about it.
You liked how his entire face lit up each time he saw you after not having been around you for quite a while.
“There you are, babe!” he left whatever paperwork he was handling and rushed to hug you. “I missed you.” he mumbled and leaned in to kiss your lips.
You giggled and kissed him back before pulling away to look up at him. “I missed you too. But what were the lawyers doing here?”
He held your hand and led you inside and into your bedroom.
“I talked to our lawyers, regarding the contract. I want to terminate it, and you don’t have to work with the agency anymore.” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. “I don’t have to share you with anyone, you’re all mine.”
You agreed and hugged him back. Given your bump was bigger now, it always got in the way of your hugs. And you always looked down and smiled, because no matter how close Sebastian tried to get to you, he never could.
He groaned and looked down. “She’s starting to get between us.” He pouted and you leaned in to kiss him.
 -
A few days later, after a couple of signatures and more paperwork and calls, the contract was terminated and Sebastian was the happiest he’s ever been. Because he never told you, but ever since the day you argued and when, in the fit of anger, you told him that you were here only because of the legal contract, those words had been tormenting him. And he needed the contract to be gone as soon as possible.
After the last phone call with the lawyers, he beamed as he walked into your bedroom; where he found you curled up on a couch, reading in the sun room. Winter was coming, and there was not so much sunlight anymore but the scenery of the yard was to die for.
“Congratulations babe, you’re not my surrogate anymore!” he smiled big and lingered around, not walking up to you yet because he wanted to memorize the sight of you like this – pregnant and glowing.
You giggled. And placed your book down when he finally walked over to you and leaned down to kiss your bump and then your lips.
“Well what am I now?” you asked as he made himself comfortable on the couch as well.
“Just my pregnant girlfriend.”
 -
Your relationship with Sebastian was comfortable, like it was meant to be. And you liked the domestic side of it more than anything.
“Babe, what color do you want the nursery?” Sebastian asked, the day he decided that you two should probably start on the nursery.
“Not pink please. Anything but pink.” You said, refusing to put your daughter in a stereotypical pink nursery.
Sebastian nodded. “Purple?”
“No.”
“Green then?”
“No.”
“How about yellow? Yellow’s nice, no?”
“No.”
He sighed, and placed the magazines down; in which he was looking for inspiration. “Come on babe, the guys will be here tomorrow. We need to decide on a color scheme. The furniture have to match.”
You giggled at him and caressed your bump gently. You had been doing that too much lately.
“What?” he asked, sounding stressed out.
“Nothing, it’s just funny to see you all stressed out over paint and nursery and furniture.” You laughed and he playfully rolled his eyes at you.
“Okay seriously, what color?”
“Beige.” You answered. Sebastian gave you a funny look for a couple of seconds, but he agreed right after.
-
Some days were not the best. You felt terrible, and very emotional and just miserable. But with Sebastian’s help, you always got through it. His face was what kept you going.
On days when you’d just curl up in bed, refusing to get up and do anything; he’d be right there with you. Always making sure you ate, and were hydrated enough, and would always give you back rubs and spoon you whenever you wanted him close.
All his affection made you tear up sometimes.
“Why are you crying? What’s wrong babe, should I call the doctor?” he’d always panic each time he’d see tears in your eyes.
You sniffled and wiped your tears away, and looked up at him with teary eyes. “I’m okay. Don’t worry. It’s just… I don’t think I deserve someone so caring and loving as you sometimes. I’ve been alone all my life, and now all of a sudden… I don’t know.”
He smiled and hugged you closer, giving you a kiss on the forehead.
“Hey, I’ve been alone too baby. But we have each other now, and that’s what matters. You’re all I have, so you’re gonna have to deal with all the love and affection, I don’t care.” He said and it made you laugh a little.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
 It wasn’t doubts about your relationship, or your feelings for each other. But there were days where neither you nor Sebastian could help but let the insecurities in.
Especially him, given his job.
You found him in the living room one night, it was late and he was just sat there in the dimly lit room, on the couch – lost in his thoughts.
You walked over to him and ran your fingers through his hair, making him look up at you. He smiled faintly when he saw you in his sweater.
“Hey babe, did I wake you up?” he asked, circling an arm around you and kissing your bump.
You looked down and smiled.
“No. What’s wrong?” you asked softly, grabbing the nearby pillow and sitting down on the couch as well, right beside him.
Sebastian turned to face you, then reached out to lace your fingers with his.
“What’s wrong Seb?” you asked again, seeing there was something different about him. He seemed scared almost, or maybe just overthinking and worried about something.
“Are you ever scared?” he asked, and you had an idea of what he might be talking about, but you weren’t entirely sure.
“Of what?” you questioned, squeezing his hand just a little bit.
He shrugged.
“Of everything. Of living here with me. Just, being with me in general. Are you scared of what I do?” he sounded like he was on the edge of a cliff and your answer would determine whether he’d fall or remain safe on land.
“Of course not, I trust you with everything in me. We both do.” you placed a hand on your bump. “I’m safe with you. We both feel safe with you around.” You reached out to cup his face. “I’m not scared of what you do.” you spoke slowly, making sure he listens and understand.
He nodded, leaning in to kiss your forehead. He was silent still.
“Why would you ask me that me that, Seb?” you asked again, gently pulling his face away from you so you look into his eyes.
“I– I don’t know.” he sighed, giving you soft eyes. The kind that makes you want to pull his closer and shower him with a thousand kisses. “I promise you babe, I will protect you with my life.” He said, looking deep into your eyes.
You smiled and leaned in for a kiss.
“Always so dramatic.” You mumbled against his lips and he chuckled. His mood lightened up instantly the moment your lips touched his.
He meant what he said.
-
Sebastian personally loved the stage where you were at with the pregnancy. You were due in January. And it was only a couple of months away, and he loved watching you walk around with your bump. Mainly because you always called for him; needing his help with the most simple and little things – shoelaces, or reaching shelves, or picking things up when they fell on the floor.
He liked being needed.
He also liked seeing you in the kitchen. You had developed a love for baking recently, and he was your very own taste tester. And he loved it. Mainly because while you were in the kitchen, you wore nothing but oversized shirts and his sweaters – because the smell of his cologne calmed you down.
He came home one day, after a meeting and found you in the kitchen. He smiled and took in your appearance from afar for a little bit before he walked over and wrapped his arms around you from behind.
He showered you with kisses and then noticed that you were much more quiet than usual. He could sense the shift in your mood.
“Bad day, babe?” he asked, ready to let you be if you asked him to.
You shook your head and kept on kneading the dough you were working on. He figured you were making a pie. “No, I was having a great day actually. Then my parents called.”
Sebastian was a little surprised and a little worried. You had told him that you hadn’t spoken to your parents for over a year now.
“Why did they call?” he asked, taking a seat at the island.
“They were worried about who’s gonna take care of the family business after them because, I don’t have any siblings. And then I told them, I can’t come home right now because I’m pregnant, but...”
Sebastian could read between the lines.
“But you’re thinking about going home afterwards?” he questioned, already not liking the sound of it. “Babe, you can’t leave me.” He sounded so vulnerable when he spoke. Like he was afraid that the one thing he loved the most was about to get snatched from him.
You turned around quickly. “I’m not leaving you.” You gave him a reassuring smile. “But Seb, after the baby I can’t just be at home and do nothing all the time. I was thinking, I could work from here as much as I could and maybe once in a while I could fly home and keep the business going, you know? I know I took off and ran from it basically, but I don’t wanna be a terrible daughter and let my parents down at this age.”
That didn’t sound so bad to him.
“Okay. Alright we can do that, under one condition. That whenever you travel, we’re coming with you.” he said, and suddenly the idea of you and your little family travelling together was so exciting. The thought of getting to show your daughter where you grew up and where you spent your childhood sounded incredible.
“Sounds good to me.”
 -
As time went on, you realized you began wanting Sebastian around more than usual. Just the smell of his cologne was extremely comforting. But you did realize that he had other stuff to take care of; work and meetings, and God knows what else the mob boss did.
So while he wasn’t around, or while he was upstairs or out for meetings, you’d make do with his sweaters which smelled like him. It calmed both you and the baby down.
One time, he told you he had some paperwork to take care of and that he’d be back down to you a little later than usual. You understood, but your baby didn’t. And she wouldn’t let you sleep either so you slowly, carefully walked up the stairs and found Sebastian in his study; drowning in paperwork.
You knock on his door and waited for him to notice you. And when he did, he looked surprised.
“Babe! What did I say about stairs?” he playfully chided.
You walked into his study and rolled your eyes at him. “Oh please. I’m just pregnant, not sick. Pregnant women can do stairs Seb, chill.”
He watched you as you walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around you and pushed his face against your bump.
“Not letting you sleep, again?” he asked, referring to how the baby troubled you at times.
You shook your head. “No.”
Sebastian stood up and pushed you against the edge of the table. “Can I help?” he spoke in that teasing tone of his and you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
You pressed your lips to his. He smiled into the kiss and slowly grabbed you by the waist and carefully walked you to the nearby couch and laid you down. He pulled away to let you breath for a bit before leaning in to kiss you again.
He rapidly took off the oversized sweater you were wearing and his lips were on your skin once again. You felt his lips kissing each and every inch of your skin; your collar bones, your cleavage, your rib cage, your core where his tongue teased you; making you moan and whine in pleasure.
“So beautiful.” he whispered against your skin, and lifted his mouth off you, lowered his pants and quickly lined himself right at your entrance.
You moaned out loud when you felt his tip teasing your entrance. You moaned, unable to bear the teasing due to the sensitivity. You felt like your head was spinning already, and he was barely in you yet.
He kept brushing his tip against your heat. Rubbing his thick cock from your clit to your entrance, and over and over again with his pulsating length – driving you crazy with pleasure.
You giggled when he leaned down to kiss your neck and slipped his length into your entrance and he groaned at how warm and perfect you felt.
He slipped in and out of you perfectly, gently, allowing you to feel all of him. His hands roamed your body and he made sure to touch you everywhere he could, kiss you everywhere he could as he fucked you slowly.
Your nails sank into his skin as you felt a pressure forming around your lower region. Sebastian quickened his pace and pushed deeper than before into you; making you cry out.
Your legs trembled as you wrapped them around his waist. The new position was much more pleasurable for the two of you; the tip of his cock touched your most sensitive spots and your back arched off the couch – your chest pressing against his.  
“Fuck…” his voice cracked as he groaned right against your cheek, his warm breath hitting your skin and sending chills down your spine.
You felt your walls clench around him, and tightening around his thick member; making him swear out loud. Sebastian lost it at the feeling of your warmth wrapped around him so perfectly; he kept mumbling how much he loves you right in your ear while he laced your fingers together and slow fucked you.
He didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, he kept rocking into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out his name as you came – hard. He panted and groaned at how good you felt and wished for this moment to last forever.
Your body trembled under him as you came; gushing out around his cock while he came right after you as well. His moans muffled as he bit down on your shoulder while he came, hard. You always made it hard for him to last for too long anyway.
“You okay, doll?” he asked, worry all over his face as he looked down at you; his cock still buried deep in you. He was always worried after sex, scared that he might have hurt you in some way.
You nodded; caressing his face and focused on calming down your breathing while your heartbeats rang in your ear. His blue eyes made you feel safe.
“I’m okay.” You reassured him.
And he smiled and leaned in to kiss your forehead. Then proceeded to give you a hundred more kisses and made you giggle uncontrollably.
“You wanna sleep upstairs today?” he asked, pulling away to look at you, waiting for your answer.
You smiled and nodded, already feeling too lazy to walk down the stairs again.
 -
Sebastian had been obsessed with making love to you lately. Even if it was just going down on you to wake you up in the morning, or to put you to sleep at night. Or randomly deciding to join you in the shower and help you out and taking his time and caressing your body and kissing every inch of your skin.
He’d just be horny all the time.
 He walked into your bedroom one evening, and saw that you were in the bathroom; sat on the edge of the large bathtub waiting for it to fill up.
And needless to say, he ended up joining you for the bath.
“Isn’t your bath much better with me in it?” he asked, caressing your bump and sneakily slipping his hand in between your legs.
You sighed, your back leaning against his torso and you giggled when you felt him toying with your clit and slipping his fingers easily past your entrance, gently stroking your core.
“Are you ever not horny?” you asked, gasping at how easily he could turn you on. You wouldn’t lie, you’ve been craving him more recently as well. You always wanted him snug, deep inside you as well.
Sebastian laughed and pushed his face into the crook of your neck and nibbled on your skin while he made you whine and cum around his fingers in no time.
 -
Between doctor’s appointments, getting the nursery ready and endless shopping, you didn’t realize how close Christmas had gotten. And Sebastian was very excited that he gets to spend Christmas with you this year. And that next year, it’ll be with his complete, little family.
He was so excited to have a tree this year that he went and got it himself; the biggest, tallest one he could find.
“I feel like I haven’t celebrated Christmas in decades.” He said, when you two were finally done decorating the entire living room and the tree.
You chuckled. “Me too.”
He turned to look at you, and you were looking down at your bump. The light from the fireplace made your skin glow even more than usual and Sebastian was completely and utterly enamored.
He reached out and touched your cheek lightly, his knuckles caressing your skin. “Thank you babe.”
You finally turned to look at him. “What for?”
He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “For making my life complete.”
 You two didn’t have much planned, so Christmas morning was pretty chill, other than the fact that Sebastian bought you way too many gifts and even more oversized sweaters and socks. You two just spent the whole day together, talking about everything in general and arranging and rearranging the nursery constantly until it was perfect.
You and Sebastian spent a lot of time debating over baby names as well.
 -
 As your due date got closer and closer, Sebastian began getting more and more nervous. Much more than you at times.
You could visibly see how stressed out he was, and you’d have to reassure him each time that everything will be okay and he doesn’t have to worry.
And he believed you.
Until the big day itself.
It seemed like a blur to you. A painful blur. Your water broke, and Sebastian rushed you to the hospital and you were immediately admitted.
And you were in labor for quite a lot of hours before you finally gave birth. And Sebastian was there with you, through it all. He didn’t move from beside you even once. Even held your hand while you had intense contractions.
He hated seeing you in pain, but there was no other way to do this.
And you both shed tears of joy when you saw your daughter for the first time, as she drew her first breath.
After giving birth, you needed your rest and Sebastian held your baby while you took a little nap. He silently cried again while you were asleep, wondering how in the world did he get so lucky to have two amazing, beautiful girls in his life.
 -
Coming home with your baby for the first time was a little messy and hectic. Both your routines had changed. You were both very much sleep deprived but you thanked God for Sebastian, and how patient and calm he was with both of you.
He was always the one who would run around and get you what you need. He had a team of people do everything in the house, from cleaning to cooking to assist you in any way. He pampered you a lot.
 -
Between getting used to having a third little person in the house, and running on very little sleep, and falling deeper in love with one another; you didn’t realize how quickly the first few months passed by.
Your baby girl soon turned 3 months old and life sure was bumpy at times, but it was beautiful.
 “Is it too soon to ask?” Sebastian asked you one night, while the two of you were in each other’s arms, on the couch in the nursery, just watching the baby sleep.
“Ask what?” you asked back, whispering and leaning into Sebastian’s touch.
“Another baby?” he sounded hopeful.
And you smiled and looked up at him. “I’ve always wanted a big family, you know?”
Sebastian smiled and kissed the top of your head.
“I have as well.”
 -
You two wanted to wait for at least two more years before trying to have another baby, but you ended up giving birth just a year and a half after your daughter was born. And this time you had twins; a boy and a girl.
Then according to Sebastian, you two needed to have another baby to even things out. So you gave birth another year and a half later, again. It was a little boy this time.
Having that many kids was hard to manage at first, but you and Sebastian only got better and better with each passing day. Some days were more stressful than others, but each day was filled with love.
 And the first few years went by in a blur.
 -Three years later-
 You joined Sebastian on the balcony upstairs, as he looked down at the front yard; where your kids were making the most of some last few minutes of play time for the day before coming in for dinner and movie night.
The sun had set already, the afterglow of sunset lingered in the sky. And it was beautiful, yet he believed there was nothing else in this world which he would find as beautiful and perfect as the family around him.
“Are they growing up too fast, or is it just me?” you asked, wrapping your arms around him from behind and giving him a kiss on the back of his neck.
He smiled at the sound of your voice and placed his hand on yours. “They are.” He replied.
You smiled as well, looking down at your kids; running around and chasing one another. Some fell down on the grass and counted on their sibling to help them up. The twins were, at this point, the main trouble makers. Your youngest son was an exact replica of his father, just much more gentle and soft spoken. Your eldest daughter was the leader of the little gang, a little more mischievous than everyone else but also the kindest of them all.
“It’s crazy how some time back I had no idea that I would have a big family in just some years.” You still couldn’t believe it sometimes, all the gifts and happiness life sent your way.
Sebastian chuckled and pulled you forward and wrapped his arms around you. “I knew.” He boasted, all proud of himself.
You giggled. “Really?”
“Yup. Right from the moment I met you. I knew I wanted a big family with you.” he answered and kissed the top of your head.
You stayed like that for quite a while, until the sky began getting really dark and you looked up at your husband and he understood the look and what it meant perfectly.
“You go deal with dinner and set up the table while I help the little monsters shower?” he got it just right.
You nodded. “I love you so much, Seb.”
“I love you more. But just this lifetime isn’t gonna be enough for all the love I have to give you.” he said, pulling you closer and preventing you from walking back inside.
You smiled at him. “Well then, better find me in the next as well.” You say as you pull away and finally start to walk back inside.
He chuckled, looking into your eyes and silently thanking the universe for helping him find his way to you in this life. “I will find you, babe. I promise.”
Fin.
---
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1K notes · View notes
writingsweetroll · 3 years ago
Text
**Summary: Louis has worries for his one year old, and Clementine soothes them by opening up about her own issues.**
Louis tried his best to not toss and turn, he really hated these beds. They were so springy, you do anything on it, so much as lay a hand on the mattress and it would make a springy noise. The noise wouldn’t annoy him as much if Clementine wasn’t laying beside him, he quickly found out she was a very light sleeper. It broke his heart that she wasn’t born a light sleeper, she just adapted to being one due to all of the trauma she faced. He wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as she could- so tossing and turning would definitely awaken her and that was the last thing he wanted.
So, he lay stiff as a board. Looking above to the mattress above him. He anxiously counted the number of bars holding the bed above him, distracting his mind to the best of his abilities. Because every time he couldn’t sleep at night, his mind went to dark places. *You have no idea what you’re doing.* He would think. That main thought spiraled out of control to other thoughts. But, that one main thought started from the time he was child, to now. It adapted to whatever situation he was in. As a child, ‘You have no idea what you’re doing’ related to the spelling bee, now, it is related to parenting his one year old daughter.
He grabbed the chair next to the desk, and placed it near the bed. He sat on it and watched her sleep soundly. A warm feeling was felt in his chest, unknowingly smiling ear to ear. He examined her features, and the midnight moon shone upon her face. She mainly had Louis’ features, his freckles, skin color, and eye shape. But, her lashes were full and her eyes were as golden as Clementines, her hair was also kinky just like Clementines. She was a perfect mix between the two.
*You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?*
Louis furrowed his brows as the thought entered his mind. No matter how many baby books he read, or conversations with Clementine he had about how to raise a baby into childhood, his mind was never satisfied with himself.
*To put your girlfriend through so much pain during her pregnancy, so selfish to bring a kid into this world, you’re a monster.*
That wasn’t true. Louis knew it. It wasn’t a mindless decision or an accident, it was multiple conversations and respectful debates about when or if they should start a family. After weeks, they decided together that they wanted a family, and they had enough resources to do so. And the pregnancy went better than expected, minor pain here and there, and the delivery had no scares. Thankfully, whenever Louis would remember this, it seemed as if thoughts grew quieter, and instead he imagined a world where the apocalypse wasn’t here. He wondered what her parents would think of him, or Lee, even Kenny. He didn’t know much about them, but he knew enough to know she cared deeply for them.
Suddenly, his daughter sniffled, causing him to go into panic mode. He calmed himself down once she went back to her normal state. It was spring, and it was just allergies but he was still terrified of her getting sick. Louis sighed, slouching against the chair now.
Although Louis truly thought he didn’t know what he was doing, he knew one thing. He’ll never be like his parents. His father, manipulative and a gas-lighter. His mother ignored it and was just focused on her public image instead.
*“Chin up, baby.” His mother whispered down to him. “Play your little piano and smile.”*
*His mother’s tone was sweet, and caring. But Louis wasn’t stupid. He knew his family milked his skills during fancy business parties like these ones. But, he played the piano nonetheless, because this was the only time he could truly feel like he had an audience that enjoyed his talent, his dream.*
*“My son! Ladies and gentlemen!” Louis’ father widened his arms towards Louis playing the piano. Families of prestigious wealth clapped for him. In this moment it was bitter sweet, should he feel happy that people enjoyed his music, or should he feel angry that his parents only supported him if it benefited them? Louis brushed off the confusing feelings and instead put his emotions into his music, making it authentic and oddly charming.*
*“Beautiful, Mandisa.” A woman patted his mothers shoulder. “You’ve raised a wonderful son.”*
Louis slightly groaned in irritation. ‘*They raised a horrible kid.’* Louis thought to himself. Now that he was older, he realized that he shouldn’t have beat himself up as much as he did when he was 17. Guilt had always occupied his mind when he thought about what he did, how he broke up his parents. But in reality, they raised him like that. They raised him to think of yourself first, not others. Survival of the fittest.
*“Please, I have a family William!”*
*Louis sat on the couch with his mother, they were just chatting when they heard the commotion coming from the office room. His father opened the door and held his hand out. “You’re not needed anymore, Mark.”*
*“I-I’m not needed?! Are you serious!? I helped you start this business, what the fuck man?!”*
*“But- Mark. You seem to forget. People like me. People like my beautiful ‘exotic’ wife, people love my son. What do you have Mark? A regular housewife, who’s pregnant and unattractive? A son who doesn’t excel in school? He doesn’t even have a talent to show off. You’re dragging me down. You understand, don’t you?”*
*“Excuse me?! The fuck did you-” Mark gulped as a security guard walked up behind him. “Fine.” Mark muttered.*
*The guard escorted the man out. Louis’ father looked at Louis with a smile, as if he didn’t just ruin someone’s life. “See son,” he started. “-sometimes, we have to make the hard decisions to get what we desire. It’s just business. Nothing personal.”*
Business came first, passion and feelings came last. That way of life ruined his childhood. He believed from a young age hurting others to get what he wanted was ok.
He gently stroked Willows head, *‘I’ll never teach you that.’* He thought to himself. No matter what, he’ll always make sure she knew it was ok to express herself, to talk about her feelings. He wanted her to know that no matter the situation, she was loved and *accepted.*
“I promise.” He whispered. “I promise I’ll give you a better life than mine.”
Suddenly, he felt slender arms wrap around his neck, a semi-heavy weight on his shoulders. He smiled, hearing Clementine mumble something out of exhaustion.
“What was that, darling?” Louis asked, holding her forearm.
“You’re doing great.” She yawned. “You don’t have to keep worrying Louis. You love her and that’s—“
“The bare minimum, Clem.” Louis cut her off.
“-not really. Not anymore.” Clementine said sadly. “Even back then, dads used to run out on their kids, unable to either provide a stable life or love. You could’ve ran out so many times, so many opportunities and you didn’t.”
“Why would I ever do that?” Louis replied, almost offended.
“I’ve seen it happen before. Of course I knew you wouldn’t but…there’s always that lingering exit you can take, and the urge is probably there for you-“
“Clementine.” Louis said sternly, waking her up a little. “I would *never* do that. Do you really think that?”
Clementine stayed quiet. In reality, no. Of course she knew Louis would never leave. It was just her inner insecurities popping out, she’d hidden it for years but it came out eventually. The *constant* fear that she would be alone again lingered in her mind. Louis noticed her silence and sighed. He got off his chair, and then hugged her tightly.
“Isn’t it crazy?” Louis chuckled.
“What?”
“How we only started dating a month into knowing each other.” Louis started, caressing her arm a bit. “Now, we’re in a family together. Clementine, I didn’t fight a war with you, fell for you in the middle of it, wrote songs about you, spent literally almost every second with you for the past 4 years to just leave.” Louis reassured.
“But now we have a kid.”
“Even more of a reason to stay. I mean *who* can actually say they have a kid with the most beautiful, bad-ass woman of the apocalypse world? Only me! I’d be a fool to run from that.” Louis joked.
She shook her head, a big smile on her face. Louis kissed the top of her head, pushing her slightly towards the bed, there he dropped her on it. She got into a comfortable position, and Louis lay next to her.
“I was serious.” Clementine broke the silence. “When I said you’re doing great. It’s not only the love you have for her Louis. You don’t even go to sleep before she does. Even though I tell you I got it. You care deeply for her and that *is* enough.”
Louis sighed, twiddling his fingers with one another, only staring at the bars above him. “I know. Thanks. Sometimes it just feels like I’m not enough, even before Willow.”
“Louis…” Clementine muttered sadly. The thought of him degrading himself saddened her. She sat up, grabbing his curious glance. Clementine took off her oversized sweater, a tank-top underneath. There was enough moon-light to see the faint, pink branded mark on her arm. She slid her fingers over it slightly, a grimace appearing on her face.
“You finally gonna reveal the meaning behind that?” Louis chuckled, over the years, she’d always refuse. ‘*The past doesn’t matter.’* She’d say.
Although he was joking, she wasn’t.
“I got this when I was 13.” Clementine started.
Louis shifted himself upwards, a frown shown on his face as he eyed the scar.
“I only did it to make sure AJ was safe. But, then he got ripped apart from me in the same group. After that, I had nothing more to lose. And when you have nothing to lose…you do scary, stupid things. I was horrible, Louis. I wasn’t the same person you know today.”
Louis nodded, taking in her words to the best of his ability. Trying not to react negatively in anyway.
“After I got AJ back—I only had *him.* If anyone ever—and I mean, *anyone* tried anything to hurt or kill him, I wouldn’t hold back. Yes I love AJ. I really do, but that feeling of hopelessness for your own self is so damaging.” Clementine opened up. After a brief moment of silence she continued. “I didn’t have hope for my own life, only for his. I didn’t mind if I got bit, as long as he was safe, I didn’t care. Not because I was sad or anything but because I just felt like this world wasn't for me. When I was a kid, I loved to be social, playful even. I've changed so much, I was forced to. I used to be innocent. Now, I'm finally getting some sort of my old self back."
Clementine grabbed Louis’ hand and squeezed it slightly. “You saved me.” She said, her tone hoarse. Louis squeezed back on her hand.
"I'm glad to be of service." He smiled at her. “I love you.”
She smiled, and kissed his cheek. “I love you too, Louis.”
24 notes · View notes
alice-in-wonderart · 4 years ago
Note
Can I request a pregnancy hcs for Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Wei WuXian, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen? Thank you!!!
Hello, hello, dear. These turned out a tad shorter, since it's 5 characters, (and pregnancy is Xtreme to write) but regardless - I hope you enjoy ❤️ One fluffy request coming right up~
Lan Wangji
"I'm pregnant" "Mn"
It's not like he isn't happy, he just needs some time to realise what you've just told him. And boy oh boy, does he realise it.
*cue smol content smile*
Lan Wangji has already taken care of a child, he raised Lan Yuan. But a baby? That would be a novelty to him for sure. But a novelty he's more than ready for. Even if he doesn't think so.
Despite that, he'd take great measures to make sure he'll be the best father possible.
His excitement would be hidden, but fully noticeable to you. His eyes would sparkle more, he'd generally appear more relaxed, he'd spend more time with you. (as much as possible, that is) The only other person who'd see the excitement in his icy stare would be Lan Xichen, who'd be the second to learn of the pregnancy, right after LWJ.
Now, he isn't the #DreamHusband™️ without a reason. He'd be fully prepared with anything you might need during those 9 months. He'd talk to his brother, albeit reluctantly, for any advice on how to deal with any side effects of the pregnancy, so he could make sure you are heathy and happy.
He'd silently watch over you, always making sure you are not in harm's way. His cold glares would double towards anybody who'd dare approach you about anything, outside of Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui.
He wouldn't necessarily stop you from going anywhere, although he'd want to but rather - he'd just tag along. You want to go down town? He'd escort you. Want to cook something? He'll help. Oh look, a puppy! Protective husband mode - on.
Sometimes, before the two of you go to sleep, he'd lay a strong hand over your stomach, gently rubbing your skin, basking in the joy, that you are carrying his child - the product of your love. And should the baby kick? A surprised, almost mute yelp would escape his thin lips, before he'd move to leave a gentle kiss on your stomach.
He never thought, never even imagined, that one day he'd have a family of his own, with a wonderful wife right next to him, and a child to call him papa. He didn't even so much as thought he could have one of those "happy endings". It seemed such distant a future, almost as if it was make-belief. Yet during those rare moments in the dead of night, he'd think, that perhaps a happy ending is possible. Perhaps he'd get to experience that normal, domestic lifestyle loving families have. And then sleep would come a little easier, knowing you'll stay by his side until the very end.
Lan Xichen
"Oh?"
What wonderful news! He'd be the most calm and collected out of everybody. He'd hug you, pouring all of his love into the hug, promising to be by your side until the very end, that he'll try his best to be a good father, to take care of you and your child and to love you unconditionally. (which he already does)
The two of you decided not to tell everybody just yet. It would be while before it became noticeable, so you decided to keep it to yourself to avoid unnecessary attention and possible bad omens or whatever. The only person who'd know would be Lan Wangji.
At first glance, nothing much would change. He'd still have responsibilities to get to, he'd still be your loving, kind, compassionate husband.
But every time he is left alone, his mind would immediately travel to you. In fact, such occurrences would begin happening while he's presumably busy too. Zoning out and day dreaming while working were pretty uncommon for Lan Xichen, yet the constant thought of you and your well-being would cloud his vision.
That, in turn, would be a dead giveaway that something was happening in his more personal life. The first to address this would be none other than Wei Wuxian, who'd turn to LWJ. Slowly but surely, more people would begin noticing the slight, yet unusual changes in Lan Xichen. He'd leave a little earlier, reply a little later and he could be spotted with you every second away from work.
When you decided to finally announce the pregnancy, a collective "I knew it" would be all but the response you'd expect.
Behind closed doors, he'd be so sweet and affectionate with you. And don't get me started on how much he'd play music to the baby you. He'd want your child to grow up with music, which included singing and playing different instruments around you before it was even born. And you wouldn't really mind - after all, Lan Xichen's music rivalled the gods' voices, or so it was said.
In fact, with time you'd realise, that your child would indeed react to his music. If the baby was exceptionally wild, kicking and moving around, Lan Xichen's calm melodies would put it at rest. (had this happen to a friend, it was crazy) Even his voice would act as a natural lullaby to the baby.
And you already knew, that the child would grow up to fall in love with music, just like his father.
Wei Wuxian
"Wait what? Really???"
*Happy pterodactyl noises*
The happiness. The joy. The love. The pride. Wei Wuxian would be beyond ecstatic! He'd be on cloud nine the moment your announcement hit his ears. He'd have the most OVER-THE-TOP MELODRAMATIC reaction to your pregnancy imaginable.
Imagine a tsunami. Now replace the water with joy. This is how EXTREME his happiNESS IS.
But then, he'd sit down and talk to you about it properly, about how this baby would change your life together, what you'd need to do, how you'd do it. Together you'd figure out your future, as much as possible that is.
He'd make sure both you and the baby would be well taken care of, well-fed, living a nice, domestic life. He knew poverty, famine and sickness. They were his old friends. He knew what is was like growing up without much on your plate. He knew of every struggle imaginable, which came with being less fortunate, so he'd be ready to do absolutely everything to provide for you.
Once he settled down, believing he's planned ahead well, the realization would finally kick in - Wei Ying, The Yiling Patriarch, Founder of Demonic Cultivation and the pinnacle of darkness and despair, was about to be a father. And with that came in the insecurities. He'd constantly worry whether he'd be a good father, whether he'd set a good example, whether his reputation would ruin his child's life. He knew how judgemental society is, how quick it is to draw conclusions and ostracise those, who stood out. In those moments you'd have to remind him of how far he's come and how much farther you'll go together - as a family.
And a family he's wanted all of his life.
He's had some practice when it comes to kids. After all, for a brief moment he'd taken care of little A-Yuan. But then again, he was already old enough to speak, talk and think completely on his own. Wei Wuxian had never had the chance to actually take care of a baby, a newborn. That thought both terrified and thrilled him.
He'd be quick to announce of the pregnancy to all of his closest friends, but try to avoid spreading the news. Even though he was no longer considered the villain™️, you can never know who's scheming from within the shadows. With that in mind, the Twin Jades, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning and the Juniors would be the ones he'd excitedly inform. Soon he was going to have his own progeny! Would it be a strong, fearless handsome boy like its father, or an intelligent, masterfully cunning and dangerously beautiful girl like its mother? Stay tuned to find out!
And boy, would he celebrate the pregnancy! You'd almost make him quit drinking just to sympathise with you. Almost.
Xiao Xingchen
"We're going to have a family? Together?"
Words wouldn't be enough to describe what he'd feel. Fleeting worry in between bouts of utter elation and delight, mixed with a hint of surprise and a whole lot of internally sappy thoughts occupied his better judgement. He'd pull you in for a gentle hug, before moving to rest a hand on your head, stroking your hair, whispering lovingly how delightful a family with you would be and how he couldn't wait to meet his child.
He'd want to teach his child everything he knows, everything he was taught and everything he believes in. You'd have to remind him, that there's still much time to go before he'd have a chance to do that. A toddler can only do so much, you see.
Of course, the question about his endless travels would come up eventually. Truthfully, Xiao Xingchen would be more than willing to set his travelling aside for the time being, at least until your child is old enough to travel with you. In fact, a domestic family lifestyle suddenly wouldn't seem so out-of-reach for him and that would bring him utter delight.
The thought of a having his own loving family with a wonderful wife and adorable children had rarely crossed his mind, seeming as nothing more than a distant thought. But as you stood beside him, with a small baby bump and a child on the way, he'd realise that indeed the gods had smiled his way in the best possible way.
He'd often rest his hands on your stomach, wanting to feel the baby kick. Of course, he'd also use that excuse to be ever-closer to you. Physical affection would double, as Xiao Xingxhen found himself attached to you whenever any of you had time.
You two would often joke around about the baby too, since laughter was something sacred to both of you. And Xiao Xingchen would absolutely never fail to make you laugh, whenever worry would overcome you.
" Maybe our child will be as tall as a giraffe" "A-Chen, my love, it's 3 in the morning. Go to SLEEP."
He'd never taken care of a child before, hell you were his first love, but you'd seen him around kids when passing through different villages. His caring nature and innocent heart made him a wonderful father.
He'd never expected to one day have a family, but the very thought that you were there and you were carrying his child, would make his heart swell with pride and love. After all, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Song Lan
"..."
Tall, dark and handsome over here would be utterly starstuck. He never thought he'd get to a point in his life, where he'd actually become a father. He never thought he'd have children, who would become his legacy. And as all that raced through his head, worry swept over him. Did YOU want that?
"Are you happy...we're having a baby?" The first words he'd utter.
"Of course! Are you not?"
The moment he sees your worried expression, his eyes would soften and he'd pull you in, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. "I am surprised, worried, yet thoroughly overjoyed." he'd mumble into your hair and the world around you would melt away.
Song Lan is a man of a few words, but many actions. He'd become twice as protective, keeping a steady hand on your shoulder as you walked thorough town, going out of his way to make sure you're comfortable and content, safe and sound, and of course happy.
He'd try his best to spoil you, getting you absolutely everything you might want or need. He'd even cook for you! He'd put you as his number one priority. After all, you were all he had left.
Would he silently panic whenever your stomach hurt, or you were feeling sick, or just in general felt any discomfort? Yes. Has he read a ton about pregnancy to make sure he was prepared for anything? Yes. Did he imagine every worst-case scenario in existence? Yes. Did any of that happen whatsoever? No. But Song Lan - big scary, dark and broody Song Lan, would absolutely cower at the thought that something so much as MIGHT go wrong. Of course, he wouldn't show it.
Well into the later stages of the pregnancy, he'd try to spend as much time with you as possible, to make sure he was there when the baby was going to be born. You'd already have a few names planned out, no matter the gender. The two of you would be READY. Hands down the most prepared.
He'd often lie with you, imagining what it would be like, being a father. He'd wonder whether you'd have a girl or a boy, whether it would resemble you or him more, whether it would be quiet and stone-faced, or kind-hearted and cheerful. And your answer to all of his what ifs would remain the same. "We're about to find out."
And those exact words would make his heart swell, both with love and anticipation. Of course, he wouldn't show it. But you knew better.
Thank you for reading~
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a-dorin · 5 years ago
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a zabrak & his princess | darth maul
warnings: sexual innuendos, cursing 
a/n: i mainly drew inspiration from some of the conversation between my dear friend @sapphicstars​ and i! enjoy! 
prompt: dad!maul headcanons with his little girl! 
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the pregnancy:
maul would be attentive, even more than before
anytime that you had a craving or wanted to drink something, he would immediately fulfill your request
he would cuddle you gently, holding you in his arms, hands placed on your stomach
utilizing the force to check in on the baby
to ensure that it’s healthy
when he found out that it was going to be a girl, he couldn’t keep it a secret
even though you demanded that he did
he was just excited that he let it slip one night
“i can’t wait us to meet our little princess, my sweet”
of course, you playfully swatted him for blurting out the baby’s gender
but the way his eyes shone, it told you that he was anticipating her arrival
more than anything 
when you slept, he would feel for her heartbeat and her kicks, chuckling softly once he felt something 
maul tended to you every single need
whether it was rubbing your feet, massaging your sore back, or giving you all of the kisses in the world 
you were quite insecure of your body during the pregnancy, as you gained a few pounds, along with the puffiness and swelling
yet he reassured you that you were so beautiful, especially since you were carrying your child 
every night, before you drifted off, maul would press a light kiss to your stomach 
“goodnight my sweet, and goodnight to my little princess. daddy loves you more than you know and he cannot wait to meet you.”
the delivery:
when your water broke, maul panicked, rushing to your side
he scooped you into his arms, carrying you to the infirmary
even though you were the one delivering the baby, maul was a mess
pacing back and forth in the room while you waited 
mumbling incoherently 
once it was time, he stayed by your side
holding your hand, murmuring reassurances in your ear
“you’re doing so well my love”
“i love you so much”
“you’re the most beautiful woman in the world” 
“our child is going to be here before you know it”
once your daughter’s wails echoed through the room
the world slowed
tears welled up in the zabrak’s eyes, his lip trembling as the nurse handed the baby to you 
never in his life had maul seen such raw, unfiltered beauty
maker, his wife was stunning
but his daughter
she was the perfect mix of you both
she took after his nose and facial structure, yet had your eyes and hair 
two little horns sprouted from her skull, promising there to be more on the way 
an elated, content purr rumbled from the zabrak 
“she’s gorgeous, my love. and she’s ours.”
childhood:
you often found yourself losing the baby
yet, after wandering through the palace, you eventually stumbled upon maul, sitting on the throne
purrs echoing through the throne room 
with your daughter in his grasp, bouncing his knee while she sat there, cooing 
“you’re such a cutie” a bright smile enveloped his features, “you take after your gorgeous mama. yes you do-”
“am i interrupting anything?” 
his eyes would widen, his lips pursed, “er, no.”
even though you wanted your child to learn how to sleep in a crib, maul insisted that she slept with you in your bed 
however, you gave in every single time 
you loved just laying there in the night, admiring your perfect daughter, along with your husband 
as the girl grew older, maul’s protective tendencies skyrocketed
“daddy i’m going to go play with my friends”
“who are your friends? friend is a subjective term, my sweet. you don’t need those. just hang out with your dad.” 
if maul had an important message to transmit, sometimes he would hold your daughter in his arms, baring his teeth
“YOU SEE THIS CHILD! I CREATED HER, OBI-WAN. GUESS THE FUCK WHAT? YOU CAN’T HAVE CHILDREN, YOU JEDI BASTARD!” 
obi-wan would only sigh and roll his eyes, ending the transmission
“daddy what does fuck mean?”
“WHERE DID YOU LEARN SUCH LANGUAGE? did your mother teach you those words?”
“i learned them from you daddy.” 
“oh. well.” 
“daddy, how did you and mommy have me?” 
“you see little one, i loved mommy very much and she loved me, so we decided to have you.”
“mommy says you fucked her.” 
“FUCKED HER? well i guess i did. she really liked it too. you know, i really need to have a talk with her mother about the sort of language she uses around you.”
“is that why i hear moaning sometimes at night?” 
“OKAY. that’s enough for now little one.”
to say the least, there was a very interesting transmission sent to the ruler of mandalore the next day while your daughter was at school 
“it appears your daughter was talking about sex to the other students.”
maul’s eyes narrow, “i wonder who taught her that. do i need to have a discussion with the prime minister about the education system in sundari.”
lots of piggyback rides
and maul uses the force to levitate her or make her laugh
after all, her laugh sounds just like yours
and it’s one of maul’s most favorite sounds
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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago
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// fatherhood headcannons //
Characters: Kozume Kenma / Akaashi Keiji / Oikawa Tooru
Request: Heyyy merry xmas (if you celebrate it) can I request kenma fatherhood hcs I saw you other ones before and it was so cute (and maybe him having a daughter )
Warnings: some swearing
Word Count: 1.8K (~550 a piece)
Notes: bokuto with stretch marks. That’s all. That’s the note.
Kozume Kenma:
Oof how to put this nicely . . . 
He was terrible. Absolute t r a s h during the pregnancy.  And it wasn’t on purpose.  He wasn’t just sitting there purposefully dismissing your aches and hormone-induced cries.  Kenma just didn’t know that it was actually a big deal.  He didn’t know that you were genuinely in serious amounts of discomfort.
You would say that your back was hurting and he’d be like, “yeah, mine too.”  Which is v a l i d.  He has videos to edit, so he spends a lot of time hunched over his desk, but you’re also carrying a child. H I S C H I L D so he could stand to be a little more sympathetic.
Morning sickness? He’s not about to be there to hold your hair back.  He’s still fast asleep.  Probably didn’t even know that you weren’t feeling well.  Kenma isn’t a total jerk about it.  He does care about you! I need to make that clear.  He does care.  He’ll ask you if you’re feeling better when you mention that you were sick earlier that day, ask if you need anything from the store, etc etc.
It’s really more or less the fact that he’s going to be a dad in less than nine months hasn’t fully set in??  He knows that you’re pregnant.  He’s been there for the ultrasounds.  He’s heard the heartbeat.  He knows that there will be a baby, but it’s like his brain hasn’t processed that it’s his baby yet.
And it doesn’t fully hit him until you wake him up in the night, hitting his shoulder frantically, saying that something doesn’t feel right and in his sleepy haze he can only think to ask-
“Is the baby okay?”
bitch i don’t know that’s the problem 
But he’s out of bed faster than you are, practically shoving shoes on your feet to get you out the door and into the car. pspsps there was no problem just l a b o r
Kenma didn’t cry when the baby arrived, honestly he didn’t even make any moves to hold his little girl when you offered her out to him.  He was just so in awe?  He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  She was so tiny and he was so scared that he might break her if he tried to hold her.
It takes him awhile to settle into the whole fatherhood thing, but once he gets it, he gets it.  He becomes some kind of expert multitasker.  He’s got the guys on discord through his headset, heating up formula, daughter strapped to his chest with one of those baby holders, ready to get back to gaming with his little girl right there.
She makes a few guest appearances during his streams, because she’ll start crying, wanting attention or to be fed, which brings him to sitting at his desk, bouncing his baby on his lap, continuing on with his stream like it’s the most normal thing in the world, watching as his chat blows up with people obsessing over how cute his daughter is.
Akaashi Keiji
I’m sure this a shock to everyone, but Akaashi is fucking clueless.  He was an only child and his best friend is the youngest?  He never really had to think about babies before.
He tries to research, but he gets so caught up in, ‘Is this a credible source? Can I trust what they’re telling me?’ that he learns absolutely nothing.  Like he knows all of the actual science behind what’s happening, but he has no idea how to take care of a baby.  What kind of diapers are the best?  Should you breastfeed or would formula be the better option?  How quickly should you be trying to teach them things like speech or walking?
Lucky for Akaashi, when his female co-workers, especially the ones who were mothers themselves, found out the exciting news that Akaashi was expecting a baby with you they were giving him every piece of advice under the sun.  “You need to establish a sleep routine!  It’ll take a while, but the baby will get it eventually!” “I know they say that you shouldn’t run to your baby every single time they cry, but that’s actually really harmful for their psyche in the long run.” “Make sure to play lots of classical music, especially early on.  It helps with development!”
When it comes to you, he’s pretty hit or miss?  He’s observant! Absolutely! But, he’s not really sure how to help you when you’re feeling insecure about your body or scared that you’re not going to be a good parent.  He can tell you that you’re beautiful or that everything will be okay, but it never fails to make the situation worse because, “You’re my husband.  You have to say that.”
The hormones.  They do be throwing hands with him smh
Akaashi spent the entire last two months of your pregnancy baby proofing the entire house.  If you wanted a glass of milk, it took you nearly 10 minutes.  You know he means well, but he definitely went a little overboard.
He used to give your forehead a kiss every morning before he left for work, but now Keiji will lean in to kiss your forehead before squatting down to place a kiss on your stomach
He also helps you get ready in the morning.  Your range of motion definitely isn’t what it used to be now that you have a baby bump, so he’s more than willing to help you tie your shoes or hook your bra if you need him to.
PANICKED BOY DURING DELIVERY
Everything that he was told just left his brain and he suddenly forgot everything that he had been told.  He was holding onto your hand just as tightly as you were holding onto his, but he’s trying his best for your sake.
But the first moment that he sees his little baby all swaddled up in that blanket, you swear that you’ve never seen Akaashi’s eyes so wide and his face so blank.  It’s like you could see the gears turning in his head, trying to process everything that just happened.  
He’s absolutely silent.  He doesn’t say a single word or make any noise when he finally has the opportunity to hold his son for the first time.  He can do nothing but stare.  It’s really a sight to see.  The two best things in your life just staring at one another with absolute wonder.
Akaashi takes his baby’s development very seriously.  He wants his son to be just as smart as the both of you some day, so he takes it upon himself to read to his son before every single nap.  
Poor Keiji has read Green Eggs and Ham more times than he would like to admit.
Oikawa Tooru
Now listen. I know we all want to give him shit, but my god is he the only one who knows what the hell is going on 
He has a sister who has been through this whole pregnancy thing at least once. He’s not helpless.  He knows how to take care of a kid.  Oikawa Tooru can rock a baby to sleep faster than you can say Seijoh.  He’s just that good.
Tooru bought you the ugliest pair of sneakers when your feet started to swell and your other sneakers started to get uncomfy, but god damn they were the best pair of shoes that you ever put on your feet.  Well, that he put on your feet.  It’s kind of difficult to put shoes on when there’s a uh . . . big ol’ bump in the way.
He frequently talks to your stomach in Spanish and has already given the little bean a nickname to match the Spanish one he gave you.  He also hums little songs while he rubs your stomach ugh lots of sweet vibes from oikawa
And it’s literally because his sister sent him P A R A G R A P H S just to tell him how to take care of you while you were pregnant.  All of these little things that he never would have thought of like getting one of those grabber things so you didn’t have to bend over so much or keeping snacks and anything you could possibly be craving on a low shelf so you didn’t hurt yourself climbing for the bag of pretzels.
While Tooru loves you and would do anything for you, he absolutely refuses to rub your feet.  Do not even bother asking.  He will turn up his nose and look at you like you’ve lost your mind.
He’s always telling his teammates about you and how big you’ve gotten, what size his little baby is, what names he was thinking about.  Ah it’s so cute.  He invites some of them over to help him put together the nursery, asking them if they prefer the elephants or the bears?  Should they choose yellow or maybe a nice grey?
When it came to the actual delivery of the baby, he was so calm???  Like?? Unnervingly calm?  He just held your hand, running his other hand over your head, pushing your hair back, reminding you to breathe just like he had practiced with you, telling you that you’re doing so well, that it will all be over and worth it soon.
And it really was.  Seeing his face light up with the most adoring smile that you had ever seen as he took his little one into his arms was one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen.  He was absolutely in love and all it took was one little look and he was already cooing and making silly faces.
But those goofy faces and cute voices were just to mask the tears that had welled in his eyes at finally being able to hold the most beautiful thing on the planet.  He never thought he’d get to be a dad, settling down was something that had always seemed so distant and strange to him until he met you.  And yet, here he was.  A full-fledged dad, on the verge of sobbing as he held onto his first-born as if his entire universe would crumble if he looked away for even a second.
Please don’t even get me started on when his kiddo wrapped their hand around his finger.  SOBBED.  He’s gone.  Absolutely bawling his eyes out.
Ugh i could go on forever about dad!oikawa he’d just be so 10/10
{taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @lovinnoya​ @celosiiaa​ @ush7jima​ @deephasoceanmagic​}
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cruelduarte · 5 years ago
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Pregnant Jurdan, part 3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 
I’ve never considered myself a particularly vain person. At least no more than literally anyone else in Faerie. But standing in front of the mirror I can’t help but be thrown off by my appearance.
As usual, I’m in a gown, this one made of gossamer the color of autumn leaves with different embroidered patterns of acorns and trees and tiny animals. None of that bothers me. It’s the noticeably small curve of my stomach that cannot be hidden in the tight dress. 
Ever since my arrival in Elfhame, I’ve trained. And because of this I’ve always been made of tight muscle and strong limbs. Despite knowing this is obviously nothing to be ashamed of, I can’t help but feel insecure. It makes me feel all too human.
I place my hands at the bottom of my bump, a sigh escaping my lips. “I’m trying guys. I’m trying.” Over the last few weeks I’ve taken to talking to my little gremlins, and Taryn insists that it’s important so I’ve let the habit persist. Sometimes it’s nice to talking without needing a response.
And tonight we’re telling our kingdom about them. We’re announcing that there will be heirs to the throne. Our legacy will continue. There will be lots of responses.
Just another day as Queen of Elfhame.
***
I’m forced to sit through dinner, Cardan at one end of the table, me at the other. Meat has lost its allure to me during pregnancy, but I pretend to pick at roasted quail and make conversation with my people around me. No one’s commented on my figure. Either out of politeness or that they could care less about their human queen.
Across the long table I catch Cardan’s eye, and he gives me a subtle wink, his crown crooked on his brow. I let the action relax my shoulders and sit up straighter. Tonight the people will be celebrating me whether they like it or not.
I cannot take the tension in my shoulders anymore. I stand suddenly, my chair pushed back loudly and ungracefully. The room of people silents in a wave; first those closest to me and then towards the edges of the room. Cardan eyes me questioningly, a dark eyebrow raised slightly, but he does not stand. I can see our Counsel looking nervous and shooting me warning glares.
This was not the plan.
I have never followed orders well.
“Lords and ladies of Elfhame,” I project, willing all the command into my voice as possible. I have to try twice as hard as Cardan at everything I do. “My king and I are very grateful for your presence tonight.”
They glance at Cardan who just raises his cup of wine approvingly.
I clear my throat so that they look back at me. “Although we don’t celebrate any holidays or anniversary of our people tonight, we have something else to celebrate.” I keep my hands at my side, not wanting them to drift to my stomach. I’m sure by now some of them are already connecting the dots for themselves. Otherwise my subjects are much denser than I originally thought.
“Tonight,” I say, hoping my pause is drawn out enough for the dramatics of court, “we celebrate the coming arrival of the heirs to the throne.”
The silence that follows is louder than a room full of angry pixies. It feels like the eight years of their disapproval is packed into their silence. And it makes me angry. Cardan makes a move to stand up, but I hold my hand up to stop him.
“Yes, I am carrying heirs.” I let the statement fall over the room again, my voice even louder than before. I make eye contact with as many of them as possible. “Two more Greenbriar’s for you all to swear your loyalty to. Our children will be raised to love the courts of Elfhame, but they will also be raised to rule.”
My mouth curls into something that I hopes looks like a smile of nonchalance. Nothing is wrong. “Now we have something to celebrate,” I declare, picking up my glass even though I have no intention of drinking its contents.
The look on Cardan’s face is one of pride, and it makes my heart clench the tiniest bit. He stands in a much more graceful motion than I did, holding his glass still. “To Queen Jude and our future heirs,” he toasts.
This seems to shake the room out of their shock and glasses are being picked up and toasts echoed. I try not to let my annoyance of them responding to Cardan more than me show. I know I have done nothing but deserve their respect. I will not throw a fit about it.
Even though there’s nothing I’d rather do than retreat to the comfort of my chambers, I do not want my people to think me any weaker because of pregnancy. So, I push on. I dance with lords and trade pleasantries with ladies and let myself be pulled into the lull of the night.
It takes all of my energy to stay on my feet all night.
***
Cardan doesn’t allow any servants into our chambers following the announcement. He carefully undoes the line of buttons down my back and takes out each pin from my hair holding my crown of braids together. He delicately takes a wet cloth over my face to take off my paint and presses kisses randomly to my exposed skin.
I don’t fight him on this. I’m far too exhausted, and his willingness to dote on me makes me fall just a little bit more in love. How far we’ve come since the beginning.
When he’s done shedding me of the night’s apparel, he swoops me into his arms and carries me to our giant bed. Right now it looks like a slice of heaven. The sheets are softer than usual and his hands lighter. He traces the curves of my body until both his hands cup my stomach, and his chin rests on my shoulder.
This is how we sleep most of the time. He doesn’t hold me like I’m about to break, which I appreciate. Instead he holds me like I’m responsible for creating the world. Like I’m the reason stars hang in the sky and the oceans rise toward the moon. It makes me feel powerful, and if there’s anything I know about myself, it’s that I crave power.
“You were very impressive tonight, my love,” he whispers into my ear. His breath so close to my skin it makes me shiver.
“Our people need to respect me. And they need to respect our children.” I place a hand over one of his on my belly.
He chuckles quietly. “Hear that kids? Mom’s a badass.”
“Where did you learn that word?”
“Oak I think.”
I roll my eyes, wondering what Oriana thinks of Oak’s growing vocabulary in the mortal world. She probably doesn’t approve of it. “I’m supposed to be the bad influence, Cardan. Don’t take my job.”
“Are you kidding? Between the two of us, it’ll be a surprise if they have any good influence.” I can hear the laughter in his voice. He’s imagining teaching them how to pick pockets and tangle words so they’re not lies. I can feel the wheels turning in his head.
Our kids are definitely screwed.
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WHOO! I had a lot of fun writing this! I really appreciate the love you show this fic and I hope you continue to do so!
Do you think Jude would want to see a human doctor? Or that one of her sisters would insist so? I think that could be interesting but let me know what you guys think!
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fannishcodex · 4 years ago
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Some sketches/brainstorming for a Role Swap AU where Kipo’s the older, abandoned experimental subject, and a younger Hugo isn’t left behind.
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Due to being 17-18 and various other AU reasons, Role Swap!Kipo (or “Futura”) has greater control over transforming her body and can even shift it into more intermediate stages, i.e. looking more like a normal sentient mute like Jamack, the Timbercats, etc.
(Her face reminds me more of a jackal than a jaguar at the moment, but I was honestly enjoying the jackal-esque look more. Also thought it made her look more distinct from her Mega/Full Mega forms, and I was also considering possible subtleties in shapeshifting mechanics. May try to change up her face later though.)
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In this Role Swap AU, Project Kipo actually went through official channels and was approved by the DNA Burrow as an alternative to the ongoing failure of the mutagen trials with animal subjects. (Dr. Emilia was outvoted and outmaneuvered.)
More Role Swap AU sketches/brainstorming under the cut:
Song still ends up mutated due to side-effects of the pregnancy and still gets stuck as a Mega after a failed field test on the surface when Project Kipo is one year old. The fallout of that included effectively abandoning Project Kipo, though it didn’t reach the extreme of destroying the specimen. The experimental subject was kept around, generally confined to the labs in response to concerns held by the majority of the DNA Burrow over the high-profile failure and rampant fear it sparked. Emilia tried to find some practical application for the defunct project, over which she now had full control. Lio lost parental rights, and sometimes got approval for limited visits. (One serious escape attempt was made and ended in failure.)
So Kipo is Hugo’s older sister.
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Some more detail on AU reasons for Kipo’s greater control over her jaguar shapeshifting and powers: Emilia tried to train her as a tool/weapon from a young age, Kipo was born mutated, Kipo eventually finds another way to balance her jaguar and human sides, BUT she does have an anchor--it’s Hugo. Eventually the thought of him is enough for her to maintain control.
After begging and doing well with academic tutors, a 12-year-old Kipo was allowed to assist with mutagen trials on the animals; she was motivated by something Emilia told her since she was little, that the trials could help cure Kipo of her mutation. Kipo instead ends up bonding with the young mandrill, especially when he does gain sentience. (The formula mutates Hugo faster, happening when he’s a few months old, when he’s smaller/size of a small child and before his facial markings grow in.) Outside of a strained relationship with Lio and a messy, manipulative, abusive situation with Emilia, Kipo has been very isolated. Hugo is someone else to add to her limited social circle, and the mandrill child has shown her the most affection, the simplest and warmest affection. Kipo goes to great lengths to hide she’s a part jaguar mute from Hugo because he is literally the only one in her life who doesn’t know about her mutation, and practically everyone fears her for it and it’s the root of so many of her problems. She even makes Lio promise not to tell Hugo.
When Kipo turns 13, various things lead to a veritable repeat of her mother, with her going completely Mega for the first time and losing all control in spite of Emilia’s brutal safeguards, and Kipo’s separated from Hugo and Lio.
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Lio truly cannot find Kipo, but there are other unfortunate factors--an encounter with Mega!Role Swap!Kipo while carrying an unconscious and injured Hugo made Lio truly afraid of his daughter because she looked as lost as Song when she went Mega, she looked ready to devour them both and he realized how very much he could not bear that fate for Hugo. After everything, Lio’s rather colder in this AU, more cynical, but he realizes he’s truly grown to see Hugo as his youngest child, and he becomes so utterly afraid that Kipo’s jaguar side will end up killing Hugo. And Lio knows how much Kipo cares for Hugo, it would be too awful if she accidentally killed him while not in her right mind. And Lio remembers Song lost inside her Mega mutation, it looks like the same has happened to Kipo. Lio tries to take an extended search for her, and leaves Hugo behind with some *allies they made, but--well, Hugo still has the mutated pheromones, and Emilia eventually figures that out. Lio and co. rescue Hugo from Emilia, and Lio just--Lio just can’t leave Hugo alone like that again, he has to stay and protect him (especially since Emilia escaped again). And Lio remembers Song losing her self when she went Mega, he believes the same has happened to Kipo...
Even when Hugo grows older, Lio resists telling him the whole truth because he doesn’t want his youngest to even try looking for a Mega Jaguar mute for fear he’ll only get himself eaten by a Mega who’s lost all sense of her former self.
(*More on these allies in the AU later, but I think they can be guessed...)
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For various AU reasons, Role Swap!Kipo travels way up north (San Praesidia) and falls in with a gang of big cats--lions, tigers, cheetahs, etc. She eventually becomes their leader when she gains better control over her powers and can overwhelm them with her great strength as a Mega. With Kipo commanding them, they eventually conquer their northern surroundings, and then start moving down to Las Vistas. The big cat gang is generally fashion forward and fixated on something like modernism, and they become even more inclined toward the future when Kipo/”Futura” takes over.
(Kipo decides on “Futura” due to reading up more on Song’s research after she returned once to the ruined DNA Burrow before she wound up in the north. Her mother’s references to Kipo as “the future of humanity” left an impression on her...)
By 17-18, Role Swap!Kipo appears visibly cheerful and very eccentric and enjoys trying on different outfits and music. While awkward and earnest in her initial attempts with others on the surface, after having a pivotal mental breakdown before she took control over the big cat gang, she’s now better at manipulating others with charm and chatter besides always having Mega force at her disposal. She dabbles in chemistry, but loathes astronomy. (She still made a replica of Hugo’s star blanket during one of her low moods, she only likes that stylized image of stars in relation to her brother.) Her hatred for Emilia is more clear and more intense now. She hates every human from the DNA Burrow. She pretty much loathes all humans. She hates Lio for the abandonment after she destroyed the burrow, but even more for what happened before and for helping mutate her in the first place and turning her into a living science experiment. She hates Song more than Lio, though she’s never properly met her--actually, because she’s never properly met her. 
(Completely off topic: Yes I got tired and just made all the Role Swap!Kipo sketches pink. XD But I also thought it was a little stylistically nice? Also felt Hugo needed more colors because of distinctive mandrill markings, not just ‘cause he’s my fav? I mean, I’m pretty sure there was more to it, but who knows what my gut really felt. XD)
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Role Swap!Hugo is sweet, shy, earnest, awkward, and very anxious. He tries to hide his mutated pheromones, which Lio and allies they’ve made on the surface have told him to only use for emergencies, and to be mindful that it only works on primates, it won’t help him with everyone. He’s very fond of the dark-feathered flamingo twins he tamed enough and befriended enough to ride, and whom he named Evangeline and Katherine. He enjoys music, art, history, reading, and historical fashion...he still has a soft spot for kings and such, but definitely doesn’t think it would ever be for him just due to public speaking alone, and he also prefers to keep that between him and the memory of his sister, whom he still deeply misses and grieves.
Role Swap!Hugo loves Lio, but things can get strained between them due to trauma in their family history, lingering insecurities, heavy issues, like--as he gets older, Role Swap!Hugo knows Lio is refusing to tell him everything that happened in the DNA Burrow, and Hugo feels he’s old enough to know the truth, if him being too young was Lio’s only reason for secrecy. And...and Hugo’s old enough to try looking for Kipo, maybe she’s alive and missing; Hugo knows he was too young before, but he’s older now, why doesn’t father even want to try?... But Hugo guiltily reconsiders and worries it’s too much for Lio who was able to really search before, and Lio maybe just can’t deal with anymore heartache.
But Role Swap!Hugo wants to try...    
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Role Swap!Kipo is very convinced she’s right. When she finally reunites with Hugo, she’s convinced she knows what’s best for her baby brother, and she thinks it’ll be better for Hugo if Lio were out of the picture because he was one of several scientists who experimented on both of them. That’s unforgivable, unavoidable. There’s no ignoring that. And making things worse, Lio still has too much control over Hugo--how can her poor brother ever be free of Lio if he’s still around? No, their dad should be out of the picture, just like Song.
(Hugo had dreamed of Kipo’s survival, but he had never imagined this.)
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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years ago
Text
For You: 4 O’Clock
Chapter 1: Comeback
Taglist: @jineunwootrash
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“Dude! Lei!” Lucas cheered into my ear as he (again) combed his fingers through my recently chopped black hair. Independent from those who cried that I ruined my visuals, he boasted, “I love this!”
Lucas was too excited. About my haircut, about my still-secret impending debut in SuperM’s comeback, about getting to work together after years of being best friends. Even as I struggled to escape his reach, trying to smooth my hair before a stylist could scold me for wasting their hours of hard work, trying to force my smile into the hard line that would fail to convince Lucas to behave, I laughed. I was too excited too.
My laughter died with the ever-present realization that somebody is always watching. That curse of being an idol meant that we couldn’t feel this way— carelessly happy— or, rather, that we shouldn’t.
Before I could remind Lucas (he always needed to be reminded), Mom’s voice broke through the on set bustle. “Break’s over, kids! Hands to yourself Lucas— this is why we have dating rumors! You don’t want to end up like the idol who never debuted!” She spoke without glancing up from her clipboard, without faltering in her fast-paced course to who knows where to do who knows what, the fabric of her bright red pantsuit swishing in time each step.
Lucas finally stepped away, instinctively abandoning his assault on me to stare after Mom. As I dropped my phone into my backpack, satisfied that there was nothing worth a response in my inbox or on social media, he whistled. “Dude, Mom is hot.”
Were I not used to that— Lucas referring to my mother as if she were also his, calling her hot— I might have cringed. Indifferent, I forced my eyes to roll because that was the kind of reaction Lucas liked. “Do you ever think that’s why you can’t get a girlfriend? The fact that you lust after my mother— our manager?”
Lucas shook his head. “Nah. I can’t get a girlfriend because everyone things I’m dating you.” He poked my forehead accusingly as if his smothering affection weren’t the cause of those false rumors, and I swatted his hand away. “Plus, didn’t ya hear? We can’t even touch a person of the opposite sex or else we’ll end up like the idol who never debuted.” His breath huffed out of his forever-swollen lips.
The story about the idol who never debuted because of an unplanned pregnancy was some kind of fable, myth, or urban legend that pervaded every aspect of life as an S.M. idol. Maybe nobody ever really believed it. Maybe everyone thought it was some cleverly crafted tale to get us to focus on training. Maybe we thought we wouldn’t hear it after debut, but it was whispered in response to every dating scandal and mentioned by Mom still on the (frequent) occurrence that Lucas ignored my boundaries.
All I know is that Lucas and I hated that story, and we expressed our hatred differently. Lucas was determined to rebel against it not by getting a real girlfriend but by committing to being my best friend in every sense of the word, regardless of what the press said, regardless of how fans often misinterpreted, regardless of Mom’s plentiful scoldings. And I— well, Lucas said that I was the perfect idol because I was as obedient as I was talented, but the truth was that becoming the scandalized idol in the next cautionary tale was my biggest fear. That’s why I strictly observed a self-imposed total dating ban: fear of controversy. And maybe deeper down, a fear of intimacy, but more on that later.
I shied away from Lucas’s reference to the scandalized idol, rationalizing to his widening eyes, “I’m due on B set. I have to re-do my introduction because I kept getting distracted by Taemin’s laugh yesterday.” I wondered what could have been so funny to Taemin, but I never would have asked back then.
Lucas’s mouth fell open, I’m sure, to tease me about being incapable of functioning around Taemin, but his turn to speak was stolen by a boisterous trio of men I would recognize anywhere.
The faces of Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Shindong were among the most familiar of my childhood. I could remember vaguely when they debuted. I was six years old, sitting backstage where Mom could find me as soon as the first Super Junior Stage was completed. Being an unofficial trainee at the time, I was studying Mandarin.
Anyway, what matters is that I couldn’t escape once Super Junior fixed their gaze on me. If I did, they would tell Mom, and I would be in trouble not only for disrespecting my elders from work but also my elders in a familial sense.
“Where’s our manager?” Shindong barked at nobody in particular. Nobody responded because Super Junior’s demands for Mom had become too commonplace to garner any attention.
“Isn’t this a bit bold?” I smiled gratefully while accepting a strawberry milkshake offered by Donghae, who greeted me with a small closed-mouth grin. “You guys have stormed onto the SuperM set every day this week.” Which meant I had a strawberry milkshake every day that week. Oops. Another failed diet.
Donghae said, “We’ll cross improper lines for you mom every day of every week,” and Eunkhyuk added loudly, as if aspiring to arouse Baekhyun’s attention, “Yeah! She was our manager first! She loves Super Junior best!”
Baekhyun appeared out of nowhere. As always, his voice— a bright shout— preceded him. “Not a chance! She’s our manager now! I’ll never let you take her!”
And just as quickly as he had appeared by my side, Baekhyun dashed off in pursuit of Mom with Eunhyuk and Shindong following closely behind.
I shook my head. Goofball Baekhyun, running the wrong way.
“What is it?” Donghae tilted his head to meet my gaze. “She’s not that way?”
Donghae was so earnest, so intent on looking right into somebody’s soul, that these moments when I held his attention were blush-inducing. I squirmed, and Lucas snorted. “Oh, uh, I don’t know. I don’t know where Mom is. It’s been kinda hectic, and I haven’t seen her in a few hours—”
It was hard enough to lie to Donghae without Lucas butting in.
“What are you talking about?” Lucas had been quiet for too long, so he shouted through a mouthful of barbecue chips fished out of my backpack. Thief. “She just told us— ow!” He shrieked as I grabbed his hand and crushed it with all the force I could muster.
“Sorry, Donghae.” I bowed to my senior. “We really have to go! I hope you find my mother!” Guilty, my eyes flinched away from his frowning face.
Once we were out of Donghae’s earshot, and once I dropped Lucas’s hand, he stretched his digits and whined, “That hurt, Lei! Why did you do that? And why did you lie to Donghae about Mom?”
“Because,” I hissed, narrowly dodging an intern running with two tall cups of coffee, “they’re fighting.”
“They’re fighting?” Lucas gasped.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Or, at least, I thought they were fighting. I didn’t know why Mom was avoiding Donghae, but I had overheard vague snippets of her conversations with Heechul when they were supposed to be watching some drama in the living room after dinner. I heard her sigh of relief when she learned that she would be responsible for organizing SuperM’s comeback and tour rather than assisting with the next Super Show. I didn’t need to know the specifics that Mom would never tell me. No matter how much I liked Donghae, if there was a fight, I was on Mom’s side.
“Here.” I passed my milkshake to Lucas after taking one long sip. “You can have this. I can’t take it onto set.”
“Ooooh!” Lucas’s eyes rounded in gratitude. He skipped off before turning back to shout, “Wait, Lei, what’s my schedule again?”
He needed to listen during briefings instead of playing around with my hair.
Having settled into the chair, sitting perfectly still so the audio technician could clip a microphone to the collar of my sheer black sweater, I responded (not loudly enough to disturb the tech), “You’re supposed to take pictures with Mark.”
“Okay! Thanks!” He grinned.
That time, my smile wasn’t forced for the camera; it was a reaction to Lucas.
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Taemin and Kai were unapproachable, each for completely different reasons.
Lucas joked that I was the born and bred idol, and most people seemed to agree, but I always thought that if the perfect idol existed, his name was Lee Taemin. Like me, he debuted at 14. Unlike me, he proved himself worthy of fame and admiration with pure talent.
Hate comments didn’t need to remind me of the role Mom played in my success. I was grateful and, under my carefully crafted proud exterior, I was insecure. I was not talentless, and I worked hard almost in a vain attempt to distance myself from the poorly disguised mutters that I was only an idol because of Mom; Taemin was beyond talented, and he worked hard because he knew no other way to stride toward his goals.
“You need to stop being so weird,” Lucas told me after one of my first practices with the group. “You can’t just stare at Taemin when you pout about how everyone stares at you.”
Lucas was right. I hated being lumped in with the millions who failed to acknowledge Taemin’s humanity. But the truth— that I was some kind of hypocrite— was easy for Lucas to see; it was easy for him to say.
Lucas was the only person who didn’t seem to realize that Taemin was the center of every room. He was the only one who didn’t cling to Taemin’s every word. He was the only one who didn’t see Taemin’s other-worldly glow.
I think that’s why Lucas was my best friend: he didn’t see me or Taemin or anybody as idols. He saw us as people, liked us as people, and that was rare. From that first day at practice, I was torn between the desire to be like Lucas and the desire to be like Taemin.
Anyway, Kai didn’t like me. He didn’t hate me (at first) or anything, and he didn’t particularly dislike me, but he was the only member (aside from Taemin, who I admired too much to approach for fear of saying something stupid) who didn’t know me pre-SuperM.
Even once I was approved to debut with them, Kai hadn’t held eye contact with me for more than three seconds at a time. I wasn’t sensitive about it, and I wasn’t in the market for a new best friend— Lucas was more than enough— but Kai’s aversion to me was inconvenient, annoying, and frustrating considering that we were cast into a subunit together.
We recorded our songs (which were the most sensual of my career because they were meant to evolve my image from bubble gum pop Idol to something more “adult”) separately. Despite the quickly approaching tour dates, we hadn’t once practiced our choreography together. Kai was my senior, so I couldn’t approach him with my concerns about our lack of preparation. That’s why he was unapproachable; I had to wait patiently for him to address our tension.
I hoped that he would have taken the first step toward me before we had to shoot promotions, but Kai still couldn’t meet my eyes— despite the photographer’s repeated demands that were carefully phrased as requests— as our bodies were pressed flush together before a swarm of cameras.
Although I would rather forget, I think I can pinpoint the moment Kai decided to hate me. He flinched away from my touch again as I draped my arms over his shoulders and laced my fingers together behind his neck, per the photographer’s instructions.
“Come on, Kai!” I rolled my eyes, whining in unison with the rest of the members, who had gathered around the set nearly an hour ago after finishing their schedules. My face was hot not because of the close proximity to somebody as handsome as Kai, not because of the glare that hooded his dark eyes, but because my patience had run out. “Everybody is waiting for us! Can’t you just act professionally so we can get this done some time this year?”
His eyes widened as if I had slapped him across the face. Note: if you ever want to insult Kai— and I can’t imagine why you would— challenge his idea of professionalism.
Kai’s jaw tightened as he forced his eyes away from me to glance tiredly at Mom. “Manager, do we have to do this? I would really like to avoid a dating scandal.”
My next few words were kind of hypocritical since nobody feared dating scandals more than I did. “A dating scandal? These are pictures for our subunit— for our job. Stop making it weird.”
“It is weird!” Kai argued without looking away from Mom as she pinched at the bridge of her nose. He took two big steps backward, and my hands fell from around his neck to my sides. “And I don’t understand—”
“Just do it like this, Kai!” Baekhyun bounced onto the set, leading Lucas by the hand. After winking at the camera, encouraged by Lucas’s laughter (and Mark’s panicked, “Yo, man, what are they doing?”), Baekhyun threw his arms around Lucas’s shoulders and tossed his head back.
When everyone except me, Mom, and Kai laughed, Baekhyun leaped into Lucas. They toppled onto the hard ground, the only indication that they hadn’t broken their neck or any other bones being their ear-splitting laughter.
“Fine!” Mom was calm despite her sharp increase in volume that made me flinch.  “If you don’t want to be in a subunit with Lei, Kai, then you won’t be.”
While Kai sighed in relief, I wheezed, dejected. My heart sank down to my ankles. It was bad enough to lose the opportunity to be in a subunit with one of the best dancers at S.M., it was worse to lose it at work where I couldn’t express disappointment, and it was worst to lose it in front of Taemin, who stood stiff and red at slack-jawed Taeyong’s side.
Embarrassed and eager to escape the stares, I bowed to Kai and set to scoop Lucas off the floor, where he still laid giggling with Baekhyun, because he would make me laugh hard enough to drive away this sinking sensation.
“Where are you going?” Mom’s voice stopped me in my tracks. “Stay where you are, Lei. Kai—”
She didn’t have to finish the order. I understood mainly from Kai’s wince that he was ejected from our subunit— not me.
“Wait,” Ten said slowly, in time with my realization, “Lei’s subunit is still a thing?” His eyes sparkled. He smiled because the choreography he created for me and Kai would still find an audience.
Lei’s subunit. My subunit. The title was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
Who would replace Kai? I wondered, watching him sulk to Taemin’s side. As Taemin’s eyes flashed to meet mine for the briefest second before he muttered something to Kai— probably words of comfort, probably words to condemn my role in Kai’s semi-public disgrace— I could only think Please not Taemin. Don’t let it be Taemin. Anyone but Taemin.
And I looked at Mom pleadingly, as if she would be able to read those thoughts through my eyes. She blinked back at me.
“Oh my God!” Mark shot both hands up in the air and waved them excitedly. “I’ll be in Lei’s subunit! Let me do it, Momager! Please!”
Oh God. Please not Mark. Don’t let it be Mark. Anyone but Mark.
“Why should you get to do it?” Ten glared up at the standing Mark from his metallic folding chair. “I choreographed their dances, so I should be cast.”
“But I’m, like, the king of subunits!” Mark rose to his tiptoes and waved his arms again in an effort to secure my attention. “If you pick me, Lei, I’ll get you into NCT Dream!”
That was a bit of a running joke— my longtime aspiration to perform with Dream. Hearing it in that moment of high stress made me laugh out loud. One of those side-splitting laughs. Real. Mark smiled at having untangled the knot in my stomach with little effort. In moments like those, I thought it wasn’t so bad that he had a crush on me.
“First of all,” Taeyong interjected, ever the mediator in NCT conflicts, “Mark, you can’t get anyone into Dream—”
“Who do you think talked the agency into making Dream a fixed unit?” Mark’s face turned scarlet as he yelled, and Taeyong didn’t bat a single eyelash.
“— Second of all, Lei doesn’t get to pick who takes Kai’s place.” We all shifted at Taeyong’s casual acknowledgment of Kai’s ejection. “Ms. Kim does. So both of you—” Taeyong eyed Ten and Mark sternly, and I wondered how they didn’t fall apart under his gaze— “be quiet and let her make her decision.”
Mom nodded at Taeyong gratefully. “It’s not much of a decision to make; I’ll just employ the second choice—”
“It’s me, right?” Baekhyun finally jumped off of Lucas, stood upright, and brushed off his all-black suit while flicking his bleached bangs out of his eyes.
Baekhyun’s goofy smile faltered when Mom shook her head. “Lucas, get up. Your dream is coming true: I’m giving you permission to touch Lei.”
“Oh yeah!” Lucas flew to my side.
Before I could wrap my mind around the fact that I would be in a subunit with him— my best friend, my rumored boyfriend— Lucas grabbed me around my waist, which was exposed under a fitted white crop top— and pulled me flush against him into the pose Kai had struggled with for hours. “Leicas forever, suckers!”
As Mom ushered Baekhyun to stand with the others off set, and everybody groaned at Lucas’s ever-enthusiastic embrace of our rumors, I laughed.
The camera flashed at last. Finally relieved enough to breathe, I returned Lucas’s embrace and joked, “Is that going to be our subunit’s name? That silly ship name?”
Lucas laughed as he lowered to press his forehead to mine. That was how things should have been all along: me and Lucas free to smile at each other and express our friendship— as silly and affectionate and beautiful as it was— to the whole world without fearing backlash.
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“Look at this.” 
I slid my phone to Lucas across the glossy light wood floor as we sat, stretching in preparation for dance practice. I watched his eyebrows knit together as he scooped the phone into his hands; I watched his jaw fall open as he scrolled past the headline and through the fans’ comments. 
“Hey.” Taeyong kicked at Lucas’s foot before joining us on the floor. Always the leader (even without the title in SuperM), he reminded, “Phones aren’t allowed in practice.”
Lowering effortlessly into a stretch that resembled the splits, Ten defended, “Momager isn’t here yet, so—”
“Look at this!” Lucas shoved my phone into Taeyong’s face. Then, as if Taeyong couldn’t read for himself, Lucas said, “Pop News is writing about the idol who never debuted!”
As Taeyong gripped the phone with his slender hands (and a curious Ten and slack-jawed, messy-haired Mark gathered around him to gawk at the screen), Taemin plopped onto the floor next to me. His knee brushed against mine, and I stiffened while he smiled despite the room’s tension, skin shimmering without the aid of makeup. 
“We don’t have to worry if it’s Pop News,” Taemin said. “They aren’t exactly a credible source— remember how they covered that ‘Any Other Name’ scandal?”
Nobody could forget the chaos surrounding the Korean adaptation of a best-selling novel written by a young American woman. The love triangle between the author, a scandalized actor (Jungkook) and the author’s best friend/famous fashion designer (Jimin) was the biggest scandal in recent history. Everybody knew that gossip as if it were the plot of a classic blockbuster film or an almost distant, almost tangible high school memory, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by Taemin’s reference. 
“You keep up with celebrity gossip?” I asked Taemin quietly, my eyes narrowing to see how this information fit with my conception of him.
Taemin’s face flushed pink. He mistook my interest for criticism as he often did in those days, and I didn’t know how to correct him. 
While trying (and failing) to connect his phone to the Bluetooth speaker, Kai started, “Maybe Pop News isn’t credible—”
“They’re definitely not credible.” Ten crawled to the side of the room to tuck my phone into my bubble-gum pink backpack. Turning back to the group, he grinned, “Pop News is, like, if Mark was a news outlet: cringey, baseless—”
“Hey! I’m not baseless!”
“Anyway.” Kai puffed his cheeks full of air. “Pop News may be a scam, but they have a lot of followers. Sometimes if a lie is heard by enough people, it becomes like the truth.”
It would have been nice to be able to disagree, to believe that truth is truth, and lies are lies, and rumors are just rumors. I wanted to disagree. But I couldn’t. 
Kai continued, “And obviously Pop News isn’t wrong about everything. Jungkook and that author were dating! They’re even engaged now!”
So Kai kept up with celebrity gossip too. Was that the kind of thing he and Taemin talked about over meals? 
While my pulse quickened at the talk about dating scandals and I tried to ease my anxiety by resuming stretches, Baekhyun stirred from his nap in the corner of the room. 
“Well!” Baekhyun yawned. “If you ask me, Momager is the idol who never debuted.” 
“What?” The rest of us shrieked in unison, and Baekhyun laughed like a maniac at our identical wide-eyed open-mouthed expressions. 
“Just think about it! When Taemin, the king of dance—” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Taemin stiffen at Baekhyun’s playful compliment despite the bashful smile pulling his lips taut— “kept screwing up that choreo, Momager demonstrated. And she was no amateur.”
Considering Baekhyun’s evidence, I gnawed on my cheek. Mom was a gifted dancer; her precision, like Baekhyun said, rivaled Taemin’s. No, her precision enabled her to find fault in Taemin— perfect Taemin. 
Baekhyun wouldn’t mention this, but Mom was also a natural singer. She proved that on the first day in the studio when she coached Baekhyun through a challenging run. After he crossed his arms and whined, “What you want is impossible!” she stunned him silent by belting the notes in one attempt. 
But Mom couldn’t be the idol who never debuted, I frowned, because that meant I was the reason—
“Look, Mom is totally hot enough to be an idol,” Lucas smirked before his eyebrows lowered skeptically. “But don’t you think Lei would know if her mom was a former trainee?”
At that remark, everybody turned to face me. 
No, I wouldn’t know if Mom was a former trainee. 
I knew very little about Mom’s past because I hadn’t asked many questions. I knew that I was born in Atlanta, Georgia, her hometown. I knew that I could not remember the last time we spoke to my father. I knew that life didn’t really begin until Mom started her career by managing Super Junior. 
I didn’t remember anything before Donghae started bringing me milkshakes, and Heechul started making me laugh with funny faces, and Ryeowook (or Wookie, as I had always called him) started fitting our tea parties into his busy schedule, and Eunhyuk started unofficially training me to be an idol through dance lessons. I didn’t remember anything before Super Junior became my family. 
As I crumbled under my members’ stares, as I drowned in the guilt of having neglected Mom’s pain if she was the idol who never debuted (in the guilt of knowing I had never asked about her because the spotlight had always been on me), Baekhyun repeated, “Momager is the idol who never debuted!” “What?” 
We all turned to see Mom’s ghostly pale face in the doorway so quickly that we whimpered and rubbed at the backs of our necks. Whiplash. Great. 
“Don’t say stupid things, Baekhyun,” Heechul scolded as he nudged Mom’s motionless body into the dance studio. “Of course Kimberly isn’t a failed trainee! That story about the idol who never debuted is just something we tell you kids—” he jabbed an accusatory finger at me and Lucas— “to keep you from dating!”
Lucas boasted, “I knew it!” And everyone laughed as he triumphantly pumped his fists into the air. 
My laughter was forced, though.  
A glance down at my watch confirmed that Mom was half an hour late; Mom was never late. Heechul never escorted her to her schedules. Heechul never called her by her full name; to him, she had always been Kimi. Heechul never pressed a comforting kiss to the top of her head. 
Something was wrong, and I couldn’t ask what because we were at practice. And I wouldn’t have been brave enough to ask in the privacy of our home. And I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stomach the answer. 
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eskalations · 4 years ago
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"This is about my pride, Riza." Roy reasoned, taking a few steps closer to her desk. His palms were up, as though it was the simplest explanation in the world. "If Rebecca knew I was incapable of this, she'd never let me hear the end of it."
A series of oneshots documenting the life and times of the Amestrian First Family.
A/N: Alright, fam - this was tough. I don't know WHY this was such a hard chapter to write, but it was. I had a rough week at work, so my writing muse wasn't as strong as usual. That being said, I'm not exactly happy with this chapter. I hope that despite that, and any other mistakes there are, that you still at least find this chapter somewhat readable.
Also, fun fact, that I forgot to tell you last chapter. I've always considered Xingese, the equivalent of Chinese in the FMA universe - so, when Elizabeth refers to her little sister as "Mae Mae", it's actually a reference to the Chinese term "Mei Mei" which means "little sister".
Thank you so much for reading!
~
"Of all the times we spoke of hell, this is not what I imagined – "
At Riza's unimpressed look, Roy clamped his mouth shut. He knew his dramatics were not going to earn him any positive points with his wife at the moment. She was far too tired to deal with his own childish commentary.
" – however, I would do anything to keep my wife and daughters happy." Roy finally finished – a near visible sweat drop forming at the start of his hairline. At the change of conversational direction, Riza gave him a dubious look from over the documents in her hands.
"You're sure you can handle it?"
"No," Roy answered quickly, too quickly for a man who was usually so confident. "But I don't see any other choice."
"I could ask Rebecca – "
"I would rather you didn't."
With a single blonde brow raised, Riza regarded her husband in confusion. "I don't understand why you're so against – "
"This is about my pride, Riza." Roy reasoned, taking a few steps closer to her desk. His palms were up, as though it was the simplest explanation in the world. "If Rebecca knew I was incapable of this, she'd never let me hear the end of it."
"You're acting like a child, Roy."
"No," Roy patted his chest, quite a sight in his military blues. It was almost amusing how seriously the Fuhrer was taking this. "I am acting like a man. A man does not back down from a challenge such as this."
Riza couldn't help the tired smile that appeared on her features at such conviction. "A challenge such as a sleepover?"
Her husband gave her a withering look. "Don't say it like that, you make it sound ridiculous."
His petulant expression had laughter bubbling up in Riza's throat. The sound caused Roy's heart to soar. She hadn't been laughing much in the past few months, so it was nice to hear such a happy sound coming from her lips – even if it was still tinged with exhaustion.
Before Riza could respond, she was interrupted by a cry coming from the makeshift crib that lay in the corner of the room. Without a second thought, the First Lady of Amestris was on her feet and comforting the child that lay within the soft pink blankets.
The scene had Roy sighing in defeat. The main reason for their current dilemma was the same precious bundle that was now being cradled by her mother.
Mae Mustang had certainly turned their lives upside down.
Winter had come and gone, and with it, so had the illnesses that pestered the Mustang household all season long. Following the solstice, it seemed like the girls came down with a new round of sniffles every week. Nothing hit the family near as hard as the flu that had preceded the solstice – however, both Roy and Riza had certainly had their hands full with both their daughters and their duties.
On top of all the sickness in the house, Riza's moods had not improved much over time. With an extremely colicky baby, the woman had felt as though she were doomed to never get a normal night's sleep ever again. She was quick to anger and extremely lethargic – two things that no one who was part of their circle had ever known her to be.
Once she had brought up the issue with her doctor, the woman assured her that it was a normal to feel this way after some pregnancies. Given the fact that Mae was also a very fussy baby, it was to be expected that she would feel like she was at her wit's end for the first few months of her youngest daughter's life.
Though her words had been unconcerned and gentle when she had spoken with Riza, Roy would never forget the serious expression she gave him as she pulled him to the side.
'Keep an eye on her,' she had said with concern evident in her eyes. The soft warning in her tone was enough to have Roy breaking out into a nervous sweat.
He had already been concerned, but after that, he was really concerned.
That was why, nearly four months after their second daughter's birth, Roy insisted that Riza continue to work from home. While Riza normally would have argued against this, wanting to be as close to Roy as possible at Central HQ, she had simply nodded and agreed that this arrangement was her best option for now.
While working from home, the First Lady was able to sleep in and attend to her infant daughter throughout the day. Roy had suggested hiring a nanny temporarily, just to give Riza more time on her own – however, that idea had been quickly shot down by his wife.
'Are you saying I'm incapable of taking care of my own infant daughter?' Riza had snapped at him, absolutely appalled by the suggestion. Knowing that his wife was wrought with insecurities when it came to her parenting, Roy had dropped the subject rather quickly after that.
The man hated feeling useless, but there was only so much he could do to help his wife when he was several blocks away at Central HQ. The woman refused to let him tend to their daughter at night, citing that he needed his rest in order to attend to his duties as Fuhrer. Thus, that left Riza to take care of everything, from night feedings to bathing their young, infant daughter.
In the middle of all this was poor Elizabeth, who was certainly beginning to feel slighted by all the attention that was being given to her sister. Though she had always loved the baby and wanted to be around her whenever she was home, Roy could see that the tolerant child was beginning to grow weary at the lack of attention she was receiving from her usually doting parents.
Hence, the sleepover.
Elizabeth's birthday had always been cause for great celebration in their household. While typically they held a party with both friends and family alike, Elizabeth had requested something different this year. Though her time spent with the Elric and Havoc children had been nice, she wanted to invite her own friends over from daycare for a different kind of party.
A sleepover party.
The idea was foreign to both Riza and Roy. Riza had never concerned herself with birthdays during her adolescence, since her father thought they were nothing more than another day of life and that there was no real reason to celebrate them. Roy, on the other hand, had celebrated many birthdays during his formative years – however, despite having grown up with a multitude of foster sisters, was completely unfamiliar with the concept of a sleepover.
Though both her parents had been quite hesitant of the idea at first, Elizabeth's sweet little pout and tears had finally convinced them in the end. If this was what she wanted, then this was what she was going to get.
However, Roy had not expected that he was going to have to run this gig solo.
Three days before Elizabeth's sleepover – Mae had started showing signs of teething, and suddenly the sleepless nights of colic, became something a little more.
In the past several days, the frazzled mother had maybe gotten a total of three hours of sleep. Between keeping up with Mae's feedings and comforting her as she sobbed from both the pains in her stomach and her mouth, Riza had very little time to rest. Roy could see, as the days went by, that the usually dark circles under his wife's eyes, were continuously getting darker. Not only that, but the healthy glow of her peach-colored skin, had changed into a sickly pale pallor.
It was obvious. She was exhausted.
On top of all that, Riza was still performing her duties as Amestris' First Lady. She continued to move forward with her plans for the new school she was commissioning and had even kept up with the interviews she had scheduled to help with the hiring of its faculty.
Roy had no idea how she did it. He wasn't even sure how she found the energy to dress in the morning with all she was doing.
Hence, why he had offered to take over the planning and execution of their daughter's sleepover party. Though he seriously doubted his skills in this department, he would do whatever it took to give Riza a much-needed break.
Even now, as she cradled their youngest in her arms, Roy could see the weariness in the way she bounced their child in comfort. She had never looked further from her former self than she did now. The formidable "Hawk's Eye" – now beaten down from a rather rough patch of motherhood. It was unfair.
"I want to help you." Roy told her honestly, his voice soft as Mae's cries finally began to subside. He walked over to Riza's side, wrapping an arm around her waist. "If I'm already up with the girls, then that will give you some time to rest without having to worry about Mae."
"So, you're going to take care of Mae, too?" Riza asked, doubt evident in her words. She gazed down at their daughter – all blonde hair and dark eyes, before looking back up at him. "Are you sure it won't be too much?"
"I'm positive." Roy affirmed, rubbing a comforting hand over her back. Even through the thin material of her tapioca dress, Roy could feel the notches of her spine. She had lost more weight again. With this in mind, his resolve only grew. "Besides, I won't be alone. Breda and Havoc are going to help me."
Riza's brows rose to her hairline. "How?"
"I've dismissed my bodyguards for tonight, so they're going to stand in." Roy brought a hand up to rub a hand against Mae's fevered cheeks. "I know it's technically below their rank, but desperate times call for desperate measures."
The Fuhrer rarely made Captains Havoc and Breda his guards, unless there was something really important going on, such as the birth of his daughter. However, he had already asked the men if they could free up their Saturday night to assist him on a 'mission'.
Of course, he hadn't told them what that mission was – but Roy wasn't big on details. Besides, they weren't going to say no to their boss.
Riza shook her head at the idea. "You really think those two will be able to help you?"
Roy shrugged. "Possibly."
The woman rolled her eyes at her husband's answer. "I think you just want them to suffer with you."
"I'm wounded by your words, madam."
This had Riza laughing. Roy's chest puffed up at having made her smile again. Perhaps, this was the exact thing Riza had needed – a night off. Regardless of any of the torture he was about to face in the coming hours, Roy couldn't bring himself to regret his decision. He would do anything to keep that smile alive on Riza's face forever.
"Okay." The woman finally agreed, the grin never leaving her face. "I appreciate it. I hope you know though, that if things get tough, you can come get me at any point in time."
"Trust me," Roy assured her, pulling her close to his side. "Everything will be fine."
~
Everything was not fine.
Sure, things had started out alright – but Roy was pretty sure that he would be completely grey by the end of the night.
For the first hour, Riza had stayed by his side as they greeted the parents of the little girls' who entered their home. Both parents, having always been very involved with their daughter's schooling, recognized many of the adults who usually stood outside Central Children's Daycare. Introductions were made and the children were sent up the stairs to be greeted by excited exclamations from the other little girls who were already there.
That was when things took a turn for the worst.
He had no idea his daughter had befriended a child of Ishvalan descent.
Now really, he shouldn't have been surprised. Elizabeth was incredibly loving and friendly, so any differences between her and others, were usually swept under the rug by the innocent mind of the unprejudiced child. Even after the situation with Miss Abra at the daycare, Elizabeth still knew nothing of the history her parents had with Ishval.
Roy and Riza had just been wishing one of the girls' parents farewell, when a hulking figure of a man walked through the door. His appearance had both the Fuhrer and his wife pausing – though it had nothing to do with his height or the rippling muscles that peaked through the fabric of his shirt.
It was the white hair and telltale red eyes that caused their greetings to catch in their throats. Not only that, but the stern look on the man's face made it obvious that he wanted to be just about anywhere else but there.
From behind his leg – a little girl poked her head out to look up at the parents of her friend. Like her father, the girl's hair was white as snow with eyes the color of blood. They shared the same dark features – except where there was an expression of near hatred on the elder one's face, the little girl's expression held nothing but hesitance.
Riza was the first to recover from her surprise. Behind her, Roy could hear the sound of Breda and Havoc shuffling, as though preparing for a fight.
"Hello," Riza spoke softly, as she crouched down to the young girl's level, Mae still absconded in her arms. The child shrank back a bit behind her father's leg, but continued to stare at the pretty blonde woman before her. "What's your name?"
The girl had just opened her mouth to answer, when a flurried set of footsteps made their way down the stairs.
"Etha!"
From out of nowhere, Elizabeth scurried past her parents, already sporting her light pink pajamas. Disregarding her friend's timid disposition, the Fuhrer's daughter tugged the girl from out behind her hulking father's leg and pulled her into a tight hug.
At his side, Roy watched as Riza stood from her crouched position, ready to reprimand her daughter for being so rough with her friend – however, her words died in her throat.
Etha was smiling.
"Hi Lizzie," The young girl's voice was much quieter than her friend's, but just as excited. "Thank you for inviting me."
Elizabeth pulled back to smile at the girl. Standing together, they couldn't have been more different. With Elizabeth's hair dark as night and eyes nearly the same shade, she was a stark contrast to her white-haired and red-eyed friend – yet, none of those differences seemed to change the way they regarded the other.
The girl's father, on the other hand, seemed almost hyperaware of the differences between the girls in front of him.
At the top of the stairs, the five other girls who had already arrived, called for both Elizabeth and Etha to make their way up to the second floor. They were shouting about something that had happened on the popular children's radio show Roy had already set up for them to listen to.
"Come on, Etha!" Elizabeth tugged on the other girl's hand, dragging her over towards the stairs. "It's the good part!"
The little girl went to follow her friend, holding tightly to one strap of her backpack. Before she started her ascent up the stairs, she turned around to throw her father a quick smile and wave.
"Bye, Daddy!" Etha called as she was hauled up the staircase by her overenthusiastic, newly six-year-old friend. As they reached the top, the other girls squealed before grabbing their hands and tugging them back towards the nursery.
The three parents watched the two children as they were dragged off by the others, an awkward silence hanging over them following the exit of their respective daughters. Once again, Roy could hear Havoc and Breda shift nervously in their boots at the tension that seemed to engulf the room.
"I expect her to be returned in one piece."
The man's voice was deep, the sound of it rumbling in his muscular chest. The threat laced in those words went without being said, and while Roy wished he could be offended by such a vicious accusation, he couldn't say the man's worries were born from nothing. What he had done in Ishval could never be erased from the minds of those who had been made to suffer because of his actions.
"Of course, sir." Riza responded easily, though Roy could hear the tightness in her voice. She too was upset by the man's words. "Etha will be treated just as any other child in our home."
The man glared at Riza, as though measuring her words for any sign of deception. Roy could feel his spine straighten and fingers twitch at such a threatening stare. Although the Ishvalan father had many inches over him, Roy would not hesitate to defend his wife should it come to it.
Lucky for him, such a fight was not to transpire that night.
Without so much as introducing himself, the man turned on his heel and made his way out of the house. The door slammed behind him, causing all four adults left in the room to jump at the loud sound.
"Well, boss," Havoc drawled, walking up to his two old friends with a toothpick between his lips. "That went quite well."
Roy glared at the man, raising a dark brow in challenge. "I would really hate to know what you consider bad, then."
Havoc smirked in Roy's direction. "A pancake-shaped Fuhrer."
Breda tried to hide a chuckle behind his fist, feigning a coughing spell instead. At his two subordinates' behavior, Roy rolled his eyes.
"I know you two are upset that I didn't tell you what was going on tonight – " Havoc gave him a look that clearly said 'you think'. Roy ignored this and continued on. "However, I expect you to remain professional just as always. Keep in mind, this is a very important mission."
"It's a sleepover."
"It's a girl sleepover." Havoc corrected Breda, gesturing wildly at their military blues. "And here we are, decked out as though we're facing ole' Bradley."
Riza butted in, quickly – cutting off her husband's surely snide remark. "If it's really that much of an issue, I don't mind taking care of it."
Both Breda and Havoc went silent at this. From beside Riza, Roy was glaring at the two men, his eyes telling them that they better not accept such an offer. Both soldiers knew better, though. They had seen how different Riza had been upon their trips to the house, they knew she needed this reprieve more than anyone.
"Nah, Riza." Breda finally said, sending a supportive smile her way while shoving his hands into his pants' pockets. "Like I've always told you, we'll do anything for you."
Havoc nodded, agreeing with his friend's words. "Even if it means putting up with a few female brats for a couple of hours – we'll do it if it's for you."
Riza smiled gratefully at the two men, while Roy's expression turned sour.
"Are you saying you wouldn't do this for me?"
"Nope."
"Not at all."
Such insubordination had the Fuhrer's eye twitching – however, a loud bang and a yell from upstairs caused a pause in the conversation. Before any of them could react, a round of giggles broke out, the sound traveling down the stairs. Roy groaned at the thought of what that noise could have possibly been.
Riza was about to say something, when Mae began to fuss from her place in her mother's arms. Roy gestured for her to pass the baby over, but Riza shook her head.
"Let me bathe her and feed her before you take over." The woman bounced her daughter, as her fussing got louder. "That way you'll have an easier time putting her to sleep."
Roy was going to make a comment on how nothing seemed to help Mae sleep, even after four months of life – however, Riza had already started to make her way up the stairs. Even from his spot on the ground floor, the Fuhrer could hear his wife cooing at their daughter as she rounded the corner towards the master suite.
"So," Havoc drawled, clapping a hand on his boss's shoulder. "Is there a reason you didn't employ Becky to help you with this little venture?"
Roy glared at the man behind him. "Shut up, Havoc."
~
If Roy thought that the night couldn't get any worse than the awkward interaction that had kick-started the party, he was sorely mistaken.
The cake cutting had gone alright, besides a few cases of dropped icing and misplaced forks. One of Elizabeth's friends, Grace – if Roy was not mistaken – had shared offhandedly with the man as he passed her a piece of cake, that she was deathly allergic to nuts, causing Roy to pause in his action.
Elizabeth's cake was chocolate with nuts added into the icing of the middle layer.
Narrowly avoiding a potentially harrowing situation, the man had fished out a cookie from the pantry to give the girl instead while the other children enjoyed their cake. The small, blonde girl nibbled on her sugar cookie while telling Roy about the time she had nearly died after eating a sandwich that unknowingly contained peanuts. At the description of a swollen throat and difficulties breathing, Roy could feel himself growing pale.
Havoc simply laughed from behind him, watching as the Fuhrer's face grew more and more horrified. Breda would have laughed, too – however, he was distracted by his own piece of cake.
With that situation successful avoided, Roy actually felt like he was doing pretty good on his own.
After cake had been served, the girls had been redirected to the upstairs nursery. While Breda helped Elizabeth pick up her fallen dollhouse – the culprit of the loud sound they had all heard earlier – Riza entered the room with a freshly bathed Mae.
Upon the appearance of a baby, all the girls immediately turned their attention to the Fuhrer's wife.
"That's my sister, Mae!" Elizabeth told them excitedly, following the girls as they crowded around her mother's legs to get a better look. "I like to call her Mae Mae!"
Riza herself was already dressed in a pair of soft white pajamas with hair wet and cheeks flushed from her recent shower. Roy couldn't help but think she looked absolutely angelic as she began to approach him.
"She's all ready to go." The girl's mother said as she passed him the bundle of blankets. Mae didn't even fuss as she was transferred from the warmth of her mother to that of her father. "I've already fed her, so all she'll need is a good rock before bed."
"I can do that." Roy assured her, noting the worried look in her tired, amber eyes. "Go get some rest. I'll bring her to the cradle by the bed when we're done in here."
Though she still looked worried, Riza could not hide the near visible relief that suddenly flooded her body. Giving her husband one last grateful pat on the cheek, the woman kissed her young daughter's forehead, before taking her leave of the room.
Roy turned towards his men with Mae now cradled in his arms.
"So," He started, wincing visibly as Elizabeth and Etha squealed over something that had taken place over on the other side of the room. "I'm going to go put Mae to – "
"Uh, no you're not." Havoc reached out for the baby, his hands making a grabbing motion as though Roy were about to pass over a weapon. "You're staying here, boss. I'll take baby duty."
"If you hold her like that, you'll drop her!" Breda commented, also moving forward to get in on the action. The auburn-haired man didn't want to be stuck in the nursery with the young girls either. "At least give her to me, so she can rest in peace."
"Excuse me?" Havoc asked, turning to his friend, Mae completely forgotten. "What is that supposed to mean? I have four boys!"
"Which I have never seen you hold!"
"What?! That's bullshit!"
A chorus of tiny gasps caused the men to pause in their argument. Looking over to where the seven girls were crowded around the dollhouse on the opposite side of the room, the men were met with the shocked faces of each and every one of them. Havoc almost swallowed his toothpick in fear, scared to turn and see the dark look that was surely developing on the Fuhrer's face.
"Breda, take the baby."
Havoc winced at the Fuhrer's flat tone, not even turning to watch as Mae was placed in Breda's arms. The man made himself scarce as he opened the door to Mae's small room without even throwing a glance behind him.
While the girls continued to stare, Roy clapped Havoc harshly on the back. To the girls, it would appear to be a friendly gesture – however, Havoc knew better. Instead of retracting his hand after placing it on his subordinate's back, the Fuhrer continued to hold on to the fabric of his jacket.
"Hey, Lizzie?" Roy called out, prodding Havoc to step forward and towards the girls who were still staring in their direction. "Didn't you say earlier that you wanted to play doctor?"
Havoc gulped as a round of cheers erupted from the other side of the room.
He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.
~
Roy had thought that forcing Havoc to partake in a game of doctor with the girls would somehow end up saving him from a similar fate – however, he had been wrong.
While he was already worried that all Elizabeth's friends would go home and tell their parents that the Fuhrer had some very foul-mouthed subordinates, he was even more worried that Etha's father would come and pound him into the ground for allowing his daughter to be exposed to such language. After all, the Ishvalan people were very religious, and he couldn't remember a time when he had ever heard any of them curse.
So, to distract the girls from the word that Havoc had let slip, Roy went about helping them create a makeshift "stretcher" to put the very unhappy man on.
Serves him right, Roy thought to himself as he fluffed up Havoc's pillow a bit more aggressively than any medical professional ever would. The blonde Captain gave his superior a withering look.
"Really, sir?"
Roy shrugged, allowing the young girls to take over from there, already having gathered all their "equipment" to perform a successful "surgery". The man found it all very amusing, until a tiny tug at the bottom of his jacket had him turning.
"Mr. Fuhrer Mustang, sir?" A small, black-haired child, who he believed was named Abigail, was pulling on the fabric of his coat. "Aren't you going to play with us?"
Roy opened his mouth to say no, when Elizabeth – appearing out of nowhere – began to tug at him a little more aggressively than her friend. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Daddy come play!"
"Lizzie, I don't – "
"Yeah, Daddy." Havoc mimicked the voice of a young girl from his spot on the floor. Grace was sat on his chest with a plastic stethoscope, trying to listen to the man's heart. "Come play with us."
"Havoc," Roy warned as his daughter continued to tug on his hand, leading him over to a second "stretcher" that the girls had prepared. "I don't ever want to hear those words from your mouth ever again."
The blonde man rolled his eyes, wincing as Grace reached out to hold his lids open to shine a light into them. From behind her, a young Alice scribbled away on a notepad, appearing to take notes as Grace shouted out random observations to her.
Roy was forced to remove his coat as his daughter pushed him back on to the pallet. He was suddenly surrounded by Etha, Abigail, and Lizzie, all who had donned white robes from his daughter's closet to give them the appearance of medical physicians. Two sisters, Helen and Margaret, rushed from the room to go retrieve something from Elizabeth's craft table.
"Hurry!" Elizabeth shouted after them, taking her plastic stethoscope from Grace to listen to her father's own pounding heart. "We're losing him!"
Noticing the wide-eyed stare of her father, Elizabeth leaned down with her hands on her hips. The look she gave him was quite stern. "Daddy, you have to at least act like you're dying."
Having been on the brink of death many times before, Roy had no problem playing the part of a dying patient. After heaving a sigh of resignation, the man relaxed on his back with eyes closed, mentally counting down the hours before he could finally force the girls to go to bed.
Despite the flurry of activity going on around him, and the poking and prodding courtesy of his daughter, Roy was able to get pretty relaxed atop the pallet. After a long week of talks related to a skirmish with Aerugo along the border, the man was definitely ready for a long night of rest alongside his wife.
He almost allowed himself to get lost in the image of her soft, warm body against his – when something cold and wet landed squarely on his forehead. The sensation caused his eyes to pop open, only to be met with a curious blue pair.
Helen had returned with a wet cloth and had been instructed to place it on the Fuhrer's head in an attempt to "lower" his "fever". The girl was the youngest of the bunch and the smallest as well, following the orders of the older children as they continued to move around him in mock concern.
Before Roy could comment on the water dripping into his eyes, another cold, wet sensation made him pause at it made itself known through the fabric of his shirt. From across the room, he could hear Havoc let out a yelp of surprise, as well.
"Lizzie?" Roy asked, as he tilted his head up to see what his daughter had just put on his stomach. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he watched her draw a circle with red paint over the area where his burn scar resided. "Lizzie! Where did you get that paint?!"
"Shhhh," The girl warned him, never pausing in her actions. "Daddy, we have to save you. I'm performing Alkahestry."
Roy groaned, knowing his wife was going to be unimpressed with the state of his shirt when she caught sight of it. "Lizzie – please, be careful. We don't want the paint to spi – "
Before he could even finish his sentence, a gasp broke out from the girl beside his daughter. Margaret, the dark-haired sister to the young child keeping vigil by his head, looked down at the floor in horror. The red paint can that had caused Roy such weariness, was now lying over on its side, its contents covering both the sheets of Roy's pallet and the side of his blue pants.
All the girls went silent as they stared at the mess in shock. Then, suddenly, a wail broke loose from Margaret.
"I didn't mean to Mr. Fuhrer!"
Roy, still surprised by the spilled paint all over his pants, hurriedly sat up to comfort the crying child. "Margaret, it's okay."
"Please don't arrest me!"
"Margaret," Roy reasoned, careful not to shift too much, lest he displace more red paint on to the floor of the nursery. "I'm not going to arrest you."
"I don't know, Margaret." Havoc commented from his spot on the other pallet, looking quite amused by all of this. "He's a pretty mean guy!"
"Havoc!"
The man's words only had the girl crying harder. "I wanna go home!"
While all the girls rushed to comfort their distressed friend – Roy groaned, while laying his head back down on the pallet. He was really starting to consider enlisting Rebecca's help, when the cold, wet cloth from before was placed back on to his forehead.
Looking up, Roy noticed that Helen was the only child who hadn't rushed to help her sister. Instead, she had remained by the Fuhrer's side with a bowl of water and a cold compress.
Wait a minute…
"Helen?" Roy asked, trying to gain the girl's attention. "Where did you get that water from?"
The facets were high in the manor's bathrooms, making it almost impossible for a small child to reach them unless there was a stool present. Even then, Elizabeth still had trouble reaching the knobs of the sink without the help of one of her parents. It made Roy wonder how a child of such small stature could have filled a bowl under one of the bathroom facets.
Unless…
"The toilet."
Times like these, made Roy wish he had birthed boys.
~
Breda returned to the room to find both Roy and Havoc sat on the floor and covered in paint. If he noticed the reddish tinge of Roy's freshly washed face, he said nothing.
The girls had convinced Roy to do "pretty" braids in their hair, after having seen Elizabeth come to school with them on more than one occasion. It was one of the perks of having grown up with a multitude of sisters. It was definitely something Riza was thankful for, since she had little experience with hair that was not her own.
Currently, the Fuhrer sat braiding Margaret's hair, the young girl's tears finally dried after having had her friends calm her down. No longer scared of the man behind her, the girl had agreed to let him braid her hair. Elizabeth, who sat beside her with her dark hair already braided, pointed excitedly at something in the book that lay before them.
Havoc stood from his place on the floor to greet Breda, pointing towards the mess of sheets and paint on the floor. "Want to give me a hand?"
Breda didn't even ask questions as he walked over to assist his comrade.
"I think Felix is really cute." Grace was saying, playing dolls with both Alice and Abigail. Helen scooted over so that she could watch the scene unfolding. "We shared paints last week."
"Ohhhhhh!" The two other five-year-olds giggled, their faces flushed with the idea of young love. Roy couldn't help but hope it would be a few years before he caught his dear Elizabeth saying such things about the males in her class.
As it was, his daughter seemed rather preoccupied with her book, gesturing for Etha to come over so she could show her something as well.
Roy smiled at her actions. His daughter certainly took after both him and his wife – always curious and always learning. It wouldn't surprise him, if in a few years time, she approached him about wanting to learn alchemy. He still wasn't quite sure how to feel about that one.
Once all the girls had their hair braided and their sleeping mats had been set up, Roy employed Breda to read them all a bedtime story in an attempt to tire them out. Though, from the look of their drooping eyes, it didn't seem like the men were going to have any trouble getting the girls to sleep.
While Breda and Havoc acted out the scenes from a bedtime story, eliciting giggles from the young girls curled up on the floor, Roy went to go check on Mae.
The infant was resting peacefully in her room that lay adjacent to the nursery. Roy was surprised that the noise hadn't disturbed her – however, with all the crying she had done over the past few days, the man figured she was just about as tired as her mother was. Careful not to disturb her rest, Roy picked the girl up from her crib to transport her back to the master suite.
After depositing his daughter into the small crib in his bedroom, Roy returned to the nursery, surprised to find it quieter than before.
The sight that lay before him had the Fuhrer nearly bursting into laughter.
Havoc and Breda were sat in two small nursery chairs, snoring loudly with both their heads thrown back. From the looks of it, all the girls seemed to be asleep as well.
Chuckling quietly to himself, Roy made his way over to where his daughter lay in the middle of it all. The man leaned over quick, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin of her forehead.
"Happy Birthday, Lizzie."
Roy was about to stand up once more, when a quiet, little voice had him pausing.
"Thank you, Daddy." Lizzie murmured before turning over, her new doll clutched tightly to her chest. It had been a present from her great grandpa Grumman.
"You're welcome, Lizzie." Roy replied, giving his daughter one last kiss to the head before turning the lights of the room off. With Breda and Havoc watching over them, Roy was sure the girls would be more than okay for the rest of the night.
After washing up and changing from his now ruined uniform, Roy was finally able to make it into bed to join his wife in blissful slumber. She had looked so cozy when he had moved Mae to their bedroom earlier, that all he had wanted to do was forego his nightly routine to join her.
Careful not to disturb Mae where she lay in her crib, Roy quietly reentered the room and made his way to the bed. After situating himself under the sheets, the man turned towards his wife and pulled her close to his chest, nuzzling his face in her hair.
Riza hummed tiredly. "How'd it go?"
Roy was too tired to explain the dramatics of the night. Instead, he pulled his wife closer and snuggled deeper into her embrace. "It went fine."
"Thank you." Riza kissed his chest tiredly, rubbing her nose against the skin there. "I needed a break."
"I know." Roy rubbed her back in comfort. "I certainly didn't mind giving you one."
Riza gave no response, already slumbering once more. Roy was just about to join her, when a shrill sound broke him from his semi-conscious state.
Mae had started to cry.
Fighting back a groan, Roy was just about to lift his head off his pillow when the door to his bedroom burst open and Elizabeth pushed her way through.
"Daddy!" The young girl exclaimed, ignoring the cries of her younger sister as she rushed over to her father's side. "Helen threw up on the floor!"
Now, Roy did groan.
He was really starting to hate sleepovers.
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joachimnapoleon · 5 years ago
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Hii, which is your favorite romantic relationship from Napoleonic/Regency era?
This will probably be the most predictable answer ever since most of my followers are fully aware of my Murat obsession by now, but I'd be lying if I told you my favorite couple from the era was anyone but Joachim & Caroline Murat.
Honestly, my feelings on Caroline are still evolving. But I'm not sure how much of that is because of how she has been treated by most historians up to this point, and how much of it is because there are parts of her story that are still so ambiguous because there just isn't enough reliable documentation on them that I can't make up my mind about them one way or the other. She never wrote a memoir, and the memoirs of her contemporaries tend to depict her in a less than flattering light (including those of her "friend" Hortense de Beauharnais).
Joachim & Caroline Murat's relationship was far from perfect. Far from perfect. At times it degenerated into a total trainwreck in which they each engaged in various acts of childish pettiness towards each other as revenge for some hurt or humiliation the other had caused. Some of their core personality traits--their mutual ambition, Caroline's controlling nature, and Joachim's ingrained dislike for being controlled by absolutely anyone--brought them into conflict very early in their marriage, and especially so after they became the King & Queen of Naples in 1808. They both had sharp tempers and held grudges. And to top it off, Joachim never gave up the womanizing ways of his youth, and, though he appears to have made an honest effort early on to maintain his marital fidelity when Napoleon sent him off to Italy during Caroline's first pregnancy, eventually he gave up on it and resumed his womanizing; Caroline would eventually reciprocate with affairs of her own (and would be accused of some others which she probably didn't have).
Any, let alone all, of the above, would be enough to disintegrate most marriages. And the Napoleonic era is full of upper-class marriages where the two partners remained married, out of necessity or otherwise, but essentially went about living their own lives in relative indifference, if not overt hostility, towards each other. Pauline Bonaparte (Borghese), for example, quickly grew to despise her second husband, Camille, and the two had barely anything to do with each other for most of their marriage until a reconciliation was affected three months before she died.
It would've been easy enough for Joachim and Caroline to take the same route. But they didn't. Because neither of them wanted to. Their marriage had been a love match, and their feelings for each other never really died; they might've burned low every now and then after a bitter quarrel, but they were never fully extinguished. There were times when each was deeply unhappy and disenchanted with the other, but they always ended up pulling things together in time. They wanted to make it work--for both themselves and their children. The terrace of the Palazzo Reale in Naples became their sanctuary, a place off-limits to anyone but themselves and their children, somewhere they could go to escape the endless political squabbles of the Neapolitan court. Their time spent alone together, and with their children, on this terrace probably helped preserve their relationship as much as anything else.
Ruling Naples wreaked havoc on their relationship. Caroline had never desired anything more than a crown and wanted to be actively involved in running the kingdom; Joachim tried to shut her out completely early on, fearing that he would end up being relegated to the same demeaning, secondary role in their marriage as the husbands of Pauline and Elisa played in theirs, which was an unendurable prospect for a soldier with his pride and reputation. Competing political factions at court soon rallied behind each of them--Joachim becoming increasingly sympathetic towards the Italian faction, and Caroline becoming the focal point of the pro-French faction (mostly because she recognized the importance of staying in Napoleon's good graces, so as not to lose their kingdom). But eventually they each came to appreciate what the other brought to the table, learned how to work together, and gained a certain equilibrium. (Part of it was Joachim getting over his vanity/insecurities/paranoia and learning how to trust Caroline's intentions; she never really wanted him to be relegated to a humiliating role like her sister's husbands).
They endured numerous long separations over the course of their marriage, whether because of Joachim's military duties calling him away or because Caroline, on multiple occasions, felt compelled to leave Naples and return to Paris in order to try to bridge the ever-growing political and personal divides between Joachim and Napoleon. Caroline's letters during these long stays in Paris are full of lamentations regarding being away from him and the children, reminders that they must stay united in order to weather these storms, and hopes that some day everything will be settled and that their children would care for them as they grew old together. The long separations were viewed as merely necessary evils, to help ensure an idyllic future.
Of course, there was no idyllic future in store for Joachim and Caroline; we know how the story ends.
I think the reason their relationship touches my heart so much is exactly because of its imperfection, and its resilience. Add in the element of tragedy--it would honestly make a great play, novel, or even a miniseries--and it's a story I'm completely hooked on, and I suspect I'll still be trying to work out all the little details of it for a long time to come.
Thanks for the ask! (And for giving me an excuse to finally put my rather disjointed thoughts and feelings on these two down in words... I've been meaning to write about their relationship some more.)
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buggirl-and-catboy · 5 years ago
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AO3 Gabenath Fic Rec
I am Nathalie stan and human second so here’s a list of fics that are centred around her and her trash man. These links either have the original summary or my thoughts of the fic btw
Gabenath One-Shots (series) by Dragongirl180
30+ GabeNath (series) by SilverFliesInBlueSugar and orphan_account
The Beginning Of Goodbye (Series) by ReminiscentLullaby
Please people read these fics they’re great and the latest chapter literally made me cry oh my god.
Mayura (series) by Providentia67. 
Gabenath doesn’t happen but it does focus on Nathalie’s love for him. Mostly mother-son stuff between her and Adrien BUT it is angsty.
So the mess that we’ll become by amsves
Fake dating, Gabriel realised that people might figure out their identities since they disappear during attacks. So the only logical solution is to pretend that they are having a poorly hidden affair.
Throwing Up These Butterflies by MyMayura (BadWolfBeauty)
This is great pls read it, it will completely destroy your emotions. Basically the miraculous cure doesn’t work on Nathalie because of her broken miraculous and it leads to angst ;)
I can’t lose you by Beladonax
All the times Gabriel almost lost Nathalie and the one time he did. ((Currently being rewritten))
A Safe Place by Yuki_Frill
De-aging au. Originally started as an au on Instagram but the creator is now writing this fic. I think it’s going to be pretty lighthearted tbh.
Burnt to ashes (faded to grey) by archekoeln
everyone thinks hawkmoth and mayura are a Thing. Unfortunately, everyone also thinks hawkmoth is trying to get a thing with gabriel agreste’s assistant, nathalie sancoeur. No one is more affected than chat noir.
Consequences by orphan_account
Unplanned pregnancy one-shot. It’s angsty but it’s cute??
Beautiful by orphan_account
Basically, a model pulls out last minute and Gabriel asks Nathalie to model it but she’s insecure but the ending is pretty cute.
The Best/Worst/First Vacation the Agreste Family Has Ever Had by amsves
See, the thing is: Nathalie is very stressed. That's understandable, right? Her job is pretty crazy. So a vacation business trip to a vacation destination? That sounds like the perfect opportunity to relax.
Too bad relaxing is never relaxing when you're with the Agrestes. 
Protector by Yuki_Frill
I haven’t looked at this in a while so I can’t remember the plot exactly but I’m pretty sure it was the first sentimonster!nathalie fic ever written. I think this was written before season 3. It’s not Gabenath, but it is Nathalie focused with a sad ending I think?? I honestly can’t remember but I do know that it’s good.
Lean on me by amsves
Nathalie and Gabriel are at a function or something and Nathalie has a coughing fit. Loads of fluff. Jagged makes an appearance.
Shattered by krzed
Nathalie is being torn apart by bizarre dreams. Dreams of becoming a supervillain. Dreams of fighting Team Miraculous. She can't sleep, she can't focus, and she can't shake the feeling that these dreams might not be dreams. ((Winter Soldier!Mayura technically, Gabriel is a complete ass in this, hints of Mamanath))
A Friend In Need by spotsnclaws
Going through a divorce, Colette reaches out to her estranged best friend Nathalie Sancoeur for comfort, but finds Nathalie is struggling as well. ((It’s more of a character study for Nathalie but it’s nice))
Hysteria by Surly_Sour
Based on the ending of Reflekdoll, it’s just pure angst for Nathalie and I love it.
The Disastrous Doppelgänger Debacle by Remasa
After refusing to pack anything but his signature suits, the heat of the French Riviera forces Gabriel Agreste to don some... unusual attire. One long string of mistaken identities later, Gabriel realizes he probably should have just kept the suit on. ((It’s a Gabriel centred crackfic and it’s fucking hilarious. There’s no gabenath but Nathalie does nearly kill him at the start))
One Last Time by Wordseeker
With the very last plan he had in mind, Hawk Moth was about to set his grand scheme in motion. Too bad it carried a goodbye to the journey he shared with Mayura. ((This fic is short but it makes me really emotional. It’s great))
Wingman by GalahadWilder
Hawkmoth's Akuma have been acting strange lately--every single one has been an obsessive LadyNoir shipper, much to Chat's horrific embarrassment. Ladybug hasn't noticed, but Chat can't quite get over the fact that Hawkmoth seems to have redirected his supervillain antics to setting him up with the girl of his dreams.
Absence (makes the heart grow fonder) by amsves
Nathalie takes a week off work due to the effects of the miraculous and Gabriel Can’t Handle It, so he makes her move in. This is cute and Gabriel sort of realises his feelings for her.
Let Me Help You (a powerful protection) by milknut
The line between Nathalie and Mayura is surprisingly blurred.
We Match by Poppicock
When Chat Noir gets a red streak in her hair, Gabriel discovers who his superhero partner (and girlfriend) really is. ((The link isn’t working. Gabenath Teen AU. Chat!Nathalie and Ladybug!Gabriel))
Five times Nathalie Sancoeur was almost Akumatized + the one time she was  by Ragingstillness
Ugh I adore this fic and I just love the take the creator took with Nathalie and how they characterised her.
Panthère by phoenixyfriend
The Adventures of Nathalie Sancoeur, Overworked Babysitter of Tiny Parisian Heroes.
Nathalie became the holder of the cat miraculous after Adrien injured himself. She was not happy with the situation, but she'd deal.
Also check out SilverFliesInBlueSugar and Poppicock cause they have loads of great fics that I completely love!
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malicedragoness · 5 years ago
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MK Baby Reactions Part 2
Y’all...
I was all up in my feels with this one. I’ve never actually cried while writing anything, but holy shit. I really hope y’all can forgive me for the Raiden one. I feel like I’m about to have a Q&A session about that one. 
I’m gonna post this and go cry myself to sleep. 
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Kotal Kahn - "I want to have a baby."
Kotal's face cracks into the biggest smile you've ever seen. He wraps you in his giant arms and kisses the top of your head. He's been waiting for this day to come. He's always wanted children, and as Khan he's expected to produce an heir. He just didn't want to put any pressure on you, or felt like you were obligated to give him children. He was going to wait until you were ready. No one was going to rush his Empress.
With Osh-Tekk culture, it is customary to paint eachother's bodies in colored paint blessed by the wisewomen before conceiving a child. It's supposedly a fertility ritual. You felt awkward at first, but Kotal assured you that you can wash your body after the paint settles on your skin for a while.
But feeling Kotal's strong hands and agile fingers caress your body was just magical. You're not sure if it's the paint or his touches, but your body was on fire. Kotal was feeling the same affect as you touched his arms and chest. Once you got to his powerful thighs, he couldn't handle it anymore and tipped you back onto the grass and pounded into you. That was one of the most erotic nights of your life.
Once you announce you're pregnant, Kotal assigns a group of midwives to attend to your every need. He will try not to leave the palace if he's able to send someone in his place. Although, that's not always possible. He will most likely take Erron with him while he leaves Ermac with you and the midwives.
As your belly gets bigger, Kotal loves to cherish your bump. He will never miss an opportunity to announce that the Pride of Osh-Tekk grows in your belly. He will keep asking if you're comfortable, are you hungry, do you need to rest. He just wants to make sure you're getting the best care possible.
As you and Kotal walk through the gardens, he constantly talks about how your child, wether boy or girl, will be trained as a warrior. He can't wait to teach them to fight and wield their first weapon. To teach them about Osh-Tekk culture and your culture. To see their first rite of passage.
He tells you he has always wanted to be father, and we would like to have more children in the future. If you ask how many children he wants, he will smile and cup your face and say "However many you wish to bless me with."
When you go into labor, Kotal reverts back to his general mindset. He's barking orders to the midwives and demands to get a physician in here immediately. There will be hell to pay if you don't follow a direct order from him to the 'T'! He's completely in control of his emotions and he never leaves your side. If he feels you're in too much pain, he'll get one of the wisewomen to help you through it. He hopes his confident demeanor will give you strength during the contractions and pushing.
Once the baby is born, you can't help but cry as you look at the tiny baby in Kotal's humongous hands. You've never seen him be so delicate with anything before. He holds you in his free arm and kisses your forehead while he's crying. He tells you over and over again how he loves you both and how he's so proud to have you at his side.
He pulls away and asks if you're ready to announce your child to the world. When you nod, he walks to the open balcony where a crowd of people wait down below.
A hush falls over the crowd as they see Kotal appear with your child.
"My people, I bring to you my child, the Pride of Osh-Tekk! Yaotl!" He holds up your baby as everyone cheers.
--- 'Yoatl' is a unisex Aztec name meaning 'warrior' and 'defender'. It sounded perfect for Kotal and it kind of sounds like his name a bit.
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Scorpion - "Hanzo, I'm pregnant."
Hanzo looks up at you with a look of shock on his face. He points to your stomach "You're..." and then to himself "Me?"
You nod hesistantly, unsure of how he would react to hearing this news. There were times when he talk about what it would be like to be a father again. He slowly walked to you and caressed your face with both of his hands. You watched as every emotion ran across his eyes. Surprise, happiness, sadness, guilt. Until he looked down at the floor for a few quiet moments.
He seemed so lost in thought and it terrified you that he may reject you. 
"Hanzo?" Your voice cracked and tears fell from your eyes as you tried to break him from his thoughts.
His head snapped up and he was surprised to see tears streaming down your face. He pulled you into a tight embrace and buried his face into your neck.
"I didn't mean to make you cry, my love." His voice was strained, as if he was trying to hold in all his emotions. He let out a shaky breath before he continued. "I... I am overjoyed to have the chance to be a father again."
You wrap your arms tighter around him and kiss his cheek. "I'm so happy. I was scared you were mad."
Hanzo pulled back to rest his forehead on yours. "Never. I am honored to father your children."
From then on he always keeps an eye on you. Whenever you're attending to the Fire Garden, he's close by and makes sure you aren't getting overheated. When you help prepare meals for the Shirai Ryu, he will check to see if the others are pulling their weight and helping you out.
Once you're further along in your pregnancy, he will try to make you stop with your duties. If you get mad and upset, he will just stand there patiently while you finish your tantrum. He's been through this with his late wife. He's well experienced with handling mood swings. When you're done he wraps you in his arms and kisses your forehead. He speaks softly and tells you that he didn't think you were uncapable of doing your work. He just wants to make sure you aren't overworking yourself.
The nursery will be set up across the hall from your room. Hanzo doesn't understand why people are obsessed with gender specific colors. He's not focused so much on color or decorating the room. He would rather there be minimal decorations, and instead have the necessities you need.
When you go into labor his face is the picture of discipline, but his shaking hands are what give him away. The cries you let out really shake him to his core. He never wanted to see you go through any pain, but he's both scared and in awe at how strong you are delivering your baby.
After the baby is all cleaned up and you have a moment to the three of you, while everyone else is patiently waiting. While you're slumped against his side and the baby in his arms, he admits his insecurities to you.
How he's afraid of losing you and your child like his previous family. The guilt he has from deciding to move on. How killing Quan Chi didn't solve anything, and still left an empty hole inside of him. How hard it was to finally let go of the hate and vengeance he's carried all these years. He was so afraid of how it took over his whole life that he wouldn't know what to do without it.
All of these pent up emotions came tumbling out and he cried in your arms. He told you that even with all the horrible things he went through, you still stayed by his side when he was at his worst and helped him change.
He vowed right there to you and your newborn that he will try his best to keep changing. He doesn't want such an innocent life to see him as such a hateful man like he used to be.
Like Kuai, Hanzo will teach your child the same principles: honor, discipline, and respect. Training helps the body, schooling strengthens the mind, and meditating cleanses the soul. These are the things he will teach any children you will have together.
He's not the fun dad that most kids want, but he knows you will fill the role as the 'fun' parent. And he's more than ok with that. If you two decide to pull a prank on Hanzo, he won't get mad. He'll just continue to eat as if that whoopie cushion he sat on wasn't even there to begin with.
It turns into game at this point to see what you and your kid can do to make Hanzo crack a smile at one of your silly pranks. So far nothing seems to do it. You two have tried about a hundred different things and he has yet to even get mad.
What the both of you don't know, it's that he's just happy to be a part of something you do as a family.
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Raiden - "Raiden, do you want children?"
Raiden is a bit shocked by the question and tells you that he honestly never thought about it. He never thought he would be romantically involved at all, much less have children. He understands the process and knows it's possible for the two of you to conceive a child.
What he's scared of is his children being power hungry demi gods. Kronika had Shinnok and Cetrion. One wanted to conquer Earthrealm, and the other followed their mother's plan of destroying all existence. Not exactly great examples of gods having children.
He tells you to give him time to think about this decision. It's not something he wants to take lightly. Of course you agree, and this gives you time to think about it as well.
Weeks go by and he still hasn't given you an answer. You notice he stares off at nothing in particular, and he does that when he's deep in thought. He spends more time to himself and meditates constantly.
After months go by, you finally confront him about it. He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, and he aviods looking into your eyes. You feel your stomach drop.
Suddenly, you have a feeling you're not about to like what he has to say. And he proves you right, when he tilts your chin up to look you in the eyes.
"I... My love," he hesitates as he cups your face. Wiping away the tears that you didn't realize were streaming down your face. "I'm sorry. I cannot give you what you ask for."
You couldn't help it. You fall to the ground and cry. You wanted to be a mother so badly with the man you love. And he just told you he won't do it.
Raiden holds you in his arms. He knew this would cause you great pain, and he tried so hard to avoid this from happening. Never once did he want you to feel like this.
He calmly explains that the child you would produce would never be safe. From enemies and from themself. The power they would have would go to their head. He's seen so many tragedies happen from power hungry individuals that had immeasurable power. Kronika, Shinnok, Cetrion, Rain, and others. Raiden himself even fell to temptation.
If he can be corrupted, then so can his offspring. If that were to happen and your child were to destroy Earthrealm, and he had to choose between his child and the realms, that would utterly break him.
The two of you sit there crying, not caring who would stumble upon you, as you mourn the loss of a child you will never have.
Days go by, and everyone notices that you and Raiden don't speak to eachother as much anymore. As soon as you both enter the room, awkwardness permeates the air, you each avoid eye contact and stumble over words.
Until one day, Raiden woke you up late at night. Liu Kang and Kung Lao were with him and you noticed a bundle in Liu Kang's arms. He said that someone had left a baby on the doorstep of the monk's monastery. They weren't sure what to do with an infant and decided to ask if you and Raiden wanted to adopt them.
That's when your whole world changed. An unexpected opportunity to be parents was literally handed to you. Your hands shake as Liu puts the baby in your arms. The little bundle of life currently asleep as you take in their features.
Raiden looked to you, nervous energy floated all around him. "We may not be able to bring life into this world, like we wanted," he speaks softly as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. "But instead, we could help the ones who have nothing."
You look into eachother's eyes as you both finally smile after what seems like forever. "I love you Raiden."
"I love you too."
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