#that is distressing that should not be happening

[yes-no-maybe-soo]

Some personal Sylus hcs and hills I will die on

(This was originally meant to be a very short "Sylus hills I will die on" post but then it somehow evolved and became a long-ass list of hills and headcanons, a lot of them NSFW 🔞. Idk how that happened but it did so uhh... enjoy? Except if you are a minor, in which case, keep scrolling)

Will never cheat physically or emotionally. Period. The mere thought of being with anyone but you is both appalling and distressing to him (as per Goodcat Code, the only time we ever see him actually jealous). He's a one woman man and he's locked in for life.

King of Consent, always and forever.

He is not 6'2 are you kidding me. With those proportions? No way. He's 6'5 at minimum.

Smells absolutely divine (I mean, one of his canon hobbies is taking baths.)

Writes poetry. Actually good poetry. The man is a romantic and a yearner at heart after all, and has always had a way with words.

Dislikes cigarettes, but will occasionally smoke a cigar or two (cuz mafia boss. It's a requirement lol. And the visual is extremely hot to me for some reason. Yes, this one is indeed extremely self indulgent).

He has the habit of burying his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. It brings him more comfort than anything else in the world.

He is a vers pleasure dom. A soft gentleman dom. Your needs, your pleasure, your consent come above all else.

Hurting you in any way is a major no go. Even should you want him to in the bedroom, he won't do it. He'd never put you in any danger by his own hands. Ever. The furthest he'll go is biting (dragon instinct), the pain of which he'll immediately soothe through kissing and licking. Should you beg for it, the occasional light/safe spanking or whipping is also fine as is, again, light and safe choking if that gets you off. That is all, though. Sylus would rather chug a large tub of wasabi every hour every day for the rest of his immortal life than ever cause injury to his beloved.

Consensual non-con is similarly off the table for him. Because your consent is so massively important to him (and also a major turn on), I can't see him getting off to any scenario where he doesn't have it, even during roleplay.

While he is down to bottom, he is not a switch (bottoming ≠ subbing). Because of his past — the way his agency was brutally taken away from him at a very young age and the trauma it caused him — I believe that control is simply too crucial to him to ever truly relinquish. Losing it would probably be triggering for him. At least at present. Maybe if he were to work through his trauma he could learn to eventually hand over the reins for a while. But for now, I just can't see him fully submitting.

Has body worship, praise, size, and breeding kinks.

Girthy. Size training required.

Favorite place to have sex? Either in his/your bed or in the shower. His private office is a close second, with you either splayed over his large desk or straddling his lap in his luxurious armchair, riding him.

Loves eating you out. It's his favorite meal.

His favored position is missionary because it allows him to clearly see your gorgeous features, to observe the way they contort in pleasure, to greedily drink in the incomparably beautiful expression on your face as you come undone by him. It also has the additional advantage of giving him easy access to your lips, which he loves to claim with his own.

During lovemaking, at least one of his hands will inevitably seek yours, lacing his much larger fingers with your own, and stroking your thumb with his own calloused one. He loves the inherent intimacy of it, how your hand fits so perfectly in his, the way you clasp onto him so tightly, conveying to him your love and your trust — both of which are more valuable to him than all the precious gems in the galaxy combined.

Likes it when you are loud in bed. The ecstacy filled sounds that escape your perfect lips are like music to his ears, and he basks further in the knowledge that he is the direct cause of them. Bonus points if you moan or scream out his name, that will arouse him to the point of nearly coming undone.

Big on cock warming. The inside your warm, slick walls is his favorite place to be. He would probably stay there forever if you consented to it, and if he could only find a way to make it practical. He absolutely basks in the sensation of being so closely, so intimately, connected with you.

The Emperor of Aftercare. Sylus will hold you close and trail soft kisses all over your face and neck, whilst murmuring words of love and praise. Then he'll carry you to the bathroom where a soothing, fragrant warm bath is drawn for you. Once he's lowered you into the tub, he'll personally wash your body with gentle, loving hands. When you are both cleaned up and dressed in comfy wear, he'll procure a nourishing meal for you made from your favorite foods to help you regain your strength. Afterwards, he'll keep holding you in his strong arms for the remainder of the night/day, nuzzling you close.

Huge cuddler and snuggler. Will not let you out of his arms for even a second while in bed together. And can you blame him? He's been without you for several lifetimes, has spent countless nights (or mornings) alone in bed, your absence from his arms aching like a phantom limb. Now that he has you back, he never wants to let you go again. Your presence is as necessary to him as the air he breathes.

Whenever he wakes up before you, he will take advantage of the opportunity to admire your sleeping face. He'll ghost a finger over it, gently tracing your features with a small smile on his lips and a tender affectionate look in his eyes, his heart swelling with all that he feels for you. He can't help but sneak in a few kisses on the top of your head, as light as butterflies so as not to disturb you.

Will 100% cry at your wedding, and when holding your newborn children for the first time. He'll have silent tears streaming down his cheeks and a soft yet radiant expression on his face, making his otherwise sharp and rather stern looking features appear gentle. His bride and his babies are simply the most breathtakingly beautiful treasures Sylus' eyes have ever beheld, and his whole entire being is all but overwhelmed by the fiercest yet purest form of love, immeasurable in its quantity and intensity. Part of him honestly remains in disbelief that said treasures are his, that something this incredible is actually happening to someone like him– "a monster" he once believed incapable and undeserving of love or happiness.

Will only have daughters. In my mind he is so Girl Dad coded that he might as well be incapable of producing any sperm containing the Y chromosome.

Sylus will be the best father a girl could ever ask for. His daughters will never lack for anything, least of all love, support, or affirmation. He is the type of dad who will sing for his children, join them in their games, bake cupcakes with them, hold them in his lap as he attentively listens to them blabber on, comfort them after a nightmare, happily dress up for imaginary tea parties, go to — and if necessary participate in — dance recitals, braid their hair, let them give him makeovers etc. He fosters and encourages individuality, independence, and confidence, but also always lets them know that it's ok to cry, to fail, to ask for help, to rely on others. He is validating and reassuring, never faltering in his emotional support. They can come to him about anything without fear of being rejected or judged. He is a shoulder to cry on, and a confidant always ready to listen and to give advice as needed. From the very day of their births and throughout the entirety of their lives, Sylus will ensure that his daughters will never have even a single reason to doubt that they are the most precious treasures in the Universe to him, and that his love for them is unconditional.

[theyluvpeach]

six fit under by the weeknd.

toxicex!reader x toxictaken!matt blurb. ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ you just can't let him go.

warnings.ᐟ.ᐟ: dom to subby matt. meanish reader?? she knows it's wrong but she doesn't gaf. fem receiving. fingering. (matt the munch🙂‍↕️)

You shouldn't be here. You have one of the most important exams of your life tomorrow, but you here you are. At Matt's frat. You're steering away from every drink you're offered, every alcoholic game that your friends want you to play because you know what's gonna happen.

One way or another, you're ending up in Matt's room by the end of the night. You hate admitting it yourself, but he's your Achilles' heel. You can't stop yourself from giving into him.

You run one of your hands through your hair, letting out a deep sigh. "You good?" One of your friends asks, seeing the distressed look on your face. "Fine. I'm fine." You say, beginning to walk off towards the kitchen.

One shot won't hurt.

Five won't be that bad.

Ten won't lead to a terrible hangover. You can handle it.

You can't remember how many shots you took. All you know is that frat boy who said he could take more shots than you is probably throwing up.

You're stumbling off to the bathroom when you realize that you left your phone somewhere in the kitchen, you groan. You just need to check how your makeup looks and maybe pee, then you'll be back in there.

You stumble back as someone bumps into you. "The fuc—?" As soon as you look to see who bumped into you, his cologne fills your nostrils.

"Matt." His name files out of your mouth before your brain can catch up with your actions. He looks you up and down, "You look good."

"I know." You say, "Where ya going?"

You raise an eyebrow. You both know that you know exactly where you're going, you know this frat like the back of your hand.

"Bathroom." You begin to walk again just for him to block your way. "Matt." You say sternly, searching his eyes for the reason he's doing this and you're met with lust. Pure lust.

"You should come to my room."

"I need to check my makeup." He rolls his eyes. "You know I have a mirror in my room." You know know that, you remember when you caught him fucking some girl in front of it.

"Need to pee too—" You try to walk off, but he grabs your wrist, "Come to my room."

"Matt." You say sharply. You're trying so hard to resist, trying so hard to get him to back off. "Please?" He says, low and whiney.

You bite your lip. "Will you finally leave me alone after?"

He nods.

"Fine. Move."

You can see him staring at you from the corner of his bed as you push up your lashes and bend down slightly to fix your dress as you fix your twisted bra. "You look good."

"I know." You repeat. "Like....really, really good." He stands behind you in the mirror. You didn't even hear the bed creak when he got up.

You barely have to blink before his lips are on yours. Your eyes flutter shut. God, how you missed the feeling of his lips against yours.

It's embarrassing how much you let him get away with. He picks you up and wraps your legs around his waist as he carries you over to his bed.

When he throws you on his bed, it's like deja vu, the good kind. A moment you wouldn't mind staying in as his chain dangles in your face, and your eye contact becomes sinful.

Until the thought that he has a girlfriend appears in your mind. You swerve his kiss. "I get you all the way to my bed, and you do thi-?"

"You have a girlfriend."

"Oh, c'mon—" He says, staring down at you with disbelief in his eyes. "Knees."

The way his body instantly responds to your command makes you smile. You wonder if his new girlfriend knows he has this side to him.

You sit up slowly, admiring the sight in front of you. She probably doesn't, the first time you tried to be in control Matt freaked the fuck out.

He stares up at you with those puppy eyes. He knows what those do to you. "You're terrible." It comes out way softer than you wanted it to but you can't think with the way he's looking at you.

He smirks. "You let me kiss you." You scoff and cross your arms. "Before I remembered you had a girlfriend."

"Don't you want me to fuck you?" He presses, parting your legs and pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. "Remember that time I fucked you so hard you couldn't go to class in the morning?"

You avoid his gaze. Your panties are soaked, to say the least. "Yeaaah, let's refresh that memory." His hands slip up to the hem of panties, "Couldn't move, had me carrying you 'round all day...Let's go back to that. Let me take care of you, baby."

His words are getting to you. Bad. You won't give in, you won't. You remember how your heart broke into a million pieces when you found out Matt was cheating on you. You won't do that to another girl.

Yet, you still let him slip off your panties. "Fuck, you're dripping, sweetheart. You were craving me, huh?"

You won't give in. You won't give in. Yet you make no moves to push him away as he presses soft kisses from your inner thigh up to your core.

Fuck it.

You pull his head back his hair, causing him to let out a whimper. "You're not fucking me."

"What—?"

You tug on his hair harder, making him whine. "You're eating me out." He eyes you with disobedience, "Do you seriously think you deserve think to feel good after what you did to me? You're lucky I'm even letting you near me."

The venom in your words is wounding, but he still doesn't think you're serious. "Y/n—"

You lean foward and tug his face to you. Making him let out the most pained sound you've ever from him. "One more fucking word Matt. One more word that isn't you saying yes, you're not even gonna get this. I'm gonna storm out of here, find your girlfriend and telling her what a fucking asshole you are." He gulps as you threaten him gravely, but the tent in his jeans gives off another emotion than scared.

"Th...that hurts." He whines. "What's it gonna be, Matt?"

"I'll...I'll eat you out." He mumbles. "Louder."

"I'll eat you out."

You finally let him go from the deathgrip you have on his hair. "Are you gonna be a good boy?" He nods eagerly. "Say it."

"I-I'll be a good boy for you... Mama."

"Good boy." The way his ears turn pink almost makes you feel bad for how mean you just were to him. Almost.

He wets his lips and leans in before licking at your clit, he eyes you. You tilt your head at him, knowing exactly what he wants. "Gotta do more than that if you want praise, baby."

He furrows his brows together. Matt slips his fingers inside you, making a scissor motion. You gasp at the stretch. You haven't been the most sexually active ever since you guys broke up.

"T...tell me I'm doing good, please?" He mutters against you, causing you to moan. You want to, but you'd rather see him needy and wanting.

You bite your lip and refuse to let out any moans as you watch the attention he's paying to your clit increase and feel his fingers reach deeper inside you. "Ma, pleasepleaseplease—" He mutters against you again, placing sloppy kisses down your pussy. "M being a good boy, isn't that what you wanted?"

You let out a loud gasp as he reaches that special inside you, "S-see— m making you feel good? Please?"

You can't take it anymore. Him thrusting into that spot repeatedly with his fingers causes you to fall flat against the bed. "Yeah— you're being a really good boy Matt— being ah— such a good boy for me—" You say, getting interrupted by moans. It only spurs him on more, making him latch onto your clit.

You practically scream. "Matt— matt— ohmy— Your back arches off the bed. "Please." He whines, taking a break from sucking your throbing nub. "Can you feel clenching down on my fingers."

"Wan' me to come for you—?" You choke out. "Please, Mama, been so good for you."

"Fuck—fuuuuck— baby, m coming!" You scream, coming all over his face. You whine as he spreads your legs wider to lap up your release.

You pant heavily as you come down from your high, squirming as you feel Matt still working in between your legs. "M..matt." You say weakly, he ignores you. Pussy drunk.

You pull him by his hair. He pouts, slowly pulling out his fingers. "Just wanna taste you." He says, hair sticking to his face from your release.

You smirk down at him. "Bet you're all hard from that, huh?" He nods slowly. "Tell you what," You sit up, "Make me come again, and I'll think about letting you fuck me."

The way he immediately tries to dive back into you makes you laugh. You have to throw your doggy something.

tags 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚: @inspiredangel @whore4mattsturniolo @domizzzsstuff @sosasturns

[lustlovehart]

This is like my first ask ever so I'm a bit nervous, but I've been thinking abt monter!twst nonstop so I just had to make an ask. What would the boys do (including Rollo) if mh!reader was on a mission and got put under a sleeping curse?

I'd imagine it'd be pretty distressing, imaging Rollo trying to keep the monsters away while looking for a cure for reader.

Love the au also! Keep up the good work!

- milk 🥛 anon

A/n: Ahhhh!!! Hi 🥛 anon!!! Don’t ever be nervous putting stuff in my inbox <33 I’ve said this before but I love reading everyone’s ideas!! Even if i don’t get to writing them </3

Featuring: [Monster!Twst] Heartslaybul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasmonia, Rollo, Neige, Fellow, Skully, Chenya x Reader

Cw: Head canon format ( So no individual scenarios unfortunately), Obsession, Possessiveness, Kissing, Insecurity, No proofreading

Unfortunately, Poor Rollo has to deal with BOTH swatting them away like flies, and checking up to make sure you’re not suffering in your time of rest with nightmares 😔 (a wanting to be married to you single mom who works 2 jobs).

I like to imagine fairytales still exist within the universe, but they don’t reach their ears in the wild. It’s only Heartslaybul, Leona, Kalim, and Epel who have any idea of the “Kiss of true love”, and then words spreads around of these human stories and suddenly it’s less about getting your body back and more about being the one who wakes you up…

Why would he wanna kiss you? That’s stupid nothing’s gonna happen… Maybe one—?

- Ace, Jamil, Epel, Sebek

- Depending on his personality, he’s either going “Ew gross i’m not kissing a human” or “Those humans tales are foolish, why would i believe them?”. But either view end them in the same boat, standing over your slumbering form and hesitantly leaning into your face. Maybe he isn’t fast with it either, taking his time to look at the details in your mortal face, pores, eyelashes, everything really. It’s stupid, so stupid he shouldn’t believe any of this really, it’s vulnerable, emotional, unnecessary; yet, he can’t seem to stop himself from placing his monstrous mouth on yours, hoping something will happen.

Wants to kiss you, but feels a sense of insecurity that holds him back

- Riddle, Deuce, Cater, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Idia, Silver

- Similar to the previous category, but slightly different. They don’t oppose the idea of a kiss at all, what really has them fearing their lips on yours, is both the vulnerability, and the event of it not working. What then? He puts himself out there for you and it’s pointless? It’s cruel, a further reminder of just how different you both are. He will look at you with pain in his eyes, wondering what he should do. Ghastly hands taking your own as he lifts them to his mouth. He might not be able to bring himself to your lips, but he’s willing to settle on your skin. He just… can’t bear the thought that he wasn’t made for you.

He’ll try, it sounds fun! When, not if, you wake up, he’ll make sure to tell you about everyone’s current violence problem.

- Trey, Floyd, Jade, Rook, Lilia, Fellow, Chenya

- Practically jumping at the chance to place his mouth on you. Of course he’ll wake you up! You’re a lot more fun when you up and about trying to hunt him down! The thought of it not working does cross his mind, but is he truly an all famed beast if he can’t take risks? He lucked out on Rollo being gone, he’s essentially a human version of a brick wall. He’ll go out all out for you, snaking his arm around your waist and lifting you out the glass coffin liking a loving husband. He’ll swirl you around with care, before dipping you down like a ballroom dance, and then wake you up. He can’t wait to show off to everyone else, because you will open your eyes.

He’ll do it. if his try doesn’t work though… He’ll make sure no one eleses does either. Your sleeping body will forever be held with him until you wake up.

- Leona, Kalim, Vil, Malleus, Neige, Skully

- He’s already sat by your side, his hand tracing patterns into your collarbone while he whispers. Will you wake up for him? You will won’t you? You must. Silent affirmations only he and he only will know, unless you wake up of course. His finger will trace down your chest, tapping the place your heart would be, each touch in sync with the beat of your heart. It’s gentle, yet somehow possessive in some right. With the final beat of his index, he’ll finally lean down, his face feeling your breathes on his fiendish skin. You’ll wake up, not because he believes in the tale, but because you must let him be the one who does something so intimate to you. If it doesn’t work, he’ll put you in prettier clothes, a prettier coffin, a prettier home, because he won’t let anyone else have the blessing of tasting your lips, only him.

The one who places your body in the pretty glass coffin, putting you in the prettiest of wear and scenery during his attempt; all while warding off the wretched creatures.

- Rollo

- Practically spends every waking and sleeping moment in your presence, only leaving for at most 5 minutes. Unfortunately for him, 5 minutes is enough time for anything to happen to you. He’ll hold your hands, fix your clothes, place new flowers and ribbons on your coffin, anything for you; except be the one who kisses you. The urge to consumes his entire being, eating at him like a sinful leech who wont let go. Sometimes whenever he’s by you, his eyes can’t help but trace back to your lips, a temptation too good for any man or beast to resist, but he does, because he can’t bear the thought of stripping you’re purity, directly at least. Whenever the urge becomes much too strong, he’ll lean down, placing a kiss on your knuckle, on your wrist, on your forehead, on your cheek, on your collarbone, on your neck, on your chest, even on the corner of your mouth, until the only place he hasn’t placed his mouth on is your lips. An indulgence he won’t take no matter how much he wishes to. Because…

You don’t deserve a monsters love, not matter how much he wishes to be yours and yours alone.

You are the sole blessing he has left, he won’t taint you, no matter how much he wishes too. But… he won’t let anyone else take you either.

A/n: For Floyd, Jade, and Sebek I realized half way that these guys wouldn’t be able to reach you on land if that’s where you were laid to rest, a perfect scenario for Rollo really. Imagine his surprise when he opens your room and sees tiny imps dragging your coffin out and into the river, where a horrific marine monster takes hold of you… Truly, how desperate for you are they?!? (Rollo has no room to judge considering he’s just as obsessed)

This honestly makes Floyd and Jade scenario so pretty <3 being in pretty clothes while he ball dances with you in the water, dipping you down while clear water envelops your upper half, leaving only your pretty face <33 do you guys see the vision?!?

And trey? He doesn’t seem like the type to be in that category, but hear me out, he does it low-key. He doesn’t go all out like the others guys so it’s not as cocky, yet there’s the underlying feeling of bragging that they can get mad and but can’t outright criticize him for. Same goes for kalim, he doesn’t seem like the type to do such a thing, but in this case, he can’t help but feel a little jealous if it isn’t him who wakes you up.

[nick-writes-stuff]

Safety Measure

Hwang In-ho x gn!reader

summary: You have been living with In-ho in his apartment for a year, still haunted by the experience you had in these very halls. When a breach of security happens, your life relies on the safety measures put in place to protect you as well as the fury of the Front Man himself.

!warnings: canon-typical violence, reader is manhandled and held at gunpoint, home invasion, description of a panic attack, hurt/comfort fic

a/n: YIPPEE! I love this one, guys. This is kind of a follow-up to One-sided Reunion, but it can be read totally standalone. (also yeah i'm implying the games work like the olympics, it made sense for the narrative lmao)

Things between you and In-ho had been going great. You had been living with him in his suite on the island for about a year now. That meant the annual game cycle had just begun. You were still hesitant about them continuing. You weren't entirely sold on the societal benefits of them, but you weren't going to actively try to stop them.

You weren't going to deal with the games this time. You basically wanted to forget they were happening. It felt wrong for you to do that, ignoring the fact that people were going through the experience that left you wishing to avoid them. You should feel vindicated to end their suffering, but you just couldn't. The idea of being involved in them, either as an aid or a hindrance, was terrifying to you. In-ho had tried to give you a tour of the compound once, and you got panicky the second you saw the pink, yellow, and blue stairs.

However, that didn't mean you were locked away in the suite all day. He showed you a way to get outside that didn't involve wandering through the familiar settings that haunted your mind. There was a beautiful garden area that you had taken up maintaining while In-ho was busy with the games.

He felt so much better now that there was something he cared for. The suite no longer felt suffocating and lonely. There was someone to return to. Usually the nights had been long and quiet and filled with a little too much whiskey at times, but now he had you. He could come back to the suite and let the mask go and just be himself.

And you were more than willing to be there waiting for him. Even if he had other responsibilities, he always made you feel like you were a priority because you were a priority to him. His devotion to you was greater than his devotion to the games by tenfold at least.

He was always thoughtful. He would take every opportunity to give you things. Not always something expensive or showy, either. Sometimes he would give you an origami crane he made while he was bored in a meeting or a snack he knew you loved that had arrived in the latest shipment that he definitely didn't go out of his way to arrange.

His thoughtfulness extended into anxiety about your safety. Since Gi-hun's attempted uprising, fear had been eating at him. They had been so close to finding their way into the management area. And also after his brother's stunt when he ended up in the suite. He was a bit hypervigilant at times, something you liked to tease him about occasionally.

So when the research and development team brought updated microchips to his attention, he was all ears. Everyone who worked on the compound had one of the chips implanted behind their ear, just like the players did. The new version of these chips included the ability to send a distress signal via pressure sensitivity. Rubbing your fingers over the chip with moderate pressure would be able to send an alert. They had proposed the idea because it would be a way to ensure protection without having an outside device. A phone or a button would draw attention. The person in danger would have a harder time hiding a handheld device and using it covertly. If they were able to use the chip, there was no evidence of the device for the perpetrators to see.

He rolled out the new chips for everyone involved in the compound. You received one as well, obviously. You didn't mind much seeing as you had already had one before. In-ho felt more at ease knowing that the key to your safety was behind your right ear.

He just wished he never had to see its usefulness. But what can go wrong will go wrong.

You had finished your work in the garden and had come back to the suite to start fixing dinner. It was a Tuesday, which was typically the day In-ho had a majority of the evening free. He liked having the time to be away from the games, having the time to take off the mask. You had quickly changed out of your clothes and headed into the kitchen. You washed your hands and heard the door to the suite open behind you.

You glanced at your watch. “You're here early.” You called out in a questioning tone. You dried off your hands and turned around, but it wasn't who you expected. It wasn't him at all.

You were looking down a barrel of a rifle, a man in black holding it toward you. You dropped the towel, lifting your hands into the air. “Who the hell are you?” You asked. You tried not to tremble. This was the first time you had seen a weapon since you were escorted to the suite after your time in the games.

The man glared at you. “I could ask you the same question.” He shot back. He took a step toward you.

You wanted to say something to him, but you couldn't get the words out.

“Here's how this is going to go,” He said. He closed the distance between you. You backed yourself against the counter. “You're going to tell me where my sister is, and I won't put a bullet between your pretty eyes.” He said through gritted teeth.

You flinched as he aimed the gun at your head. You couldn't look at him, too scared to look at the metal he was holding.

He was impatient and angry and holding a gun. “I'm not gonna ask you again.” He yelled. You let out a whimper, as if you couldn't look any more pathetic.

“I don't know who your sister is. I don't know anything, okay?” You said. Your voice was shaking as much as your hands were.

“Is she in one of these rooms?” He asked.

You shook your head. “I don't know where she is. I just live here.” You said.

He scoffed at you. “Bullshit.” He spat, "I know she's here. You did something to her." He was getting more irate, practically screaming.

You shook your head frantically. "I don't know, okay?!" You cried out. He rolled his eyes at you. "I'm not the one in charge here. I just live here."

He slung the rifle over his shoulder and pulled a pistol from the holster on his hip. He pointed it at you. “Get over here.” He ordered. You froze. “Get the fuck over here.” He yelled. Your mind was still frozen, but your legs followed his order.

He grabbed you roughly, holding you in front of him and pushing the cold metal into your back. “If you aren't the one in charge, you're going to lead me to who is.” He said. You were glad he couldn't see your face as you smirked slightly despite the circumstances. In-ho was the last person he wanted to encounter right now.

“I don't know this place well, but I can try.” You said.

He scoffed at you. "I thought you lived here?" He yelled.

"I live in the apartment. I don't go out there." You said.

He tightened his grip on your shoulder, leaving you wincing from the jolt of pain. "Awfully convenient." He muttered.

He shoved you forward toward the exit of the suite. “What are these rooms?” He asked, his loud voice ringing in your ears.

“They are just rooms in the apartment. One is a bedroom and one is a storage room.” You said shakily. He looked at you skeptically. He didn't believe you. He turned to open the door of the storage room. He was tearing the room apart. You didn't even know what was in there. You never bothered to ask.

You took that as your moment. You raised your trembling hand and dug your fingers into the skin behind your ear. You definitely did it with more force than necessary, but you just wanted to make sure you got it to work. When you see him start to turn around, you let your hands return to your sides.

He stepped out and grabbed your shoulder again and jabbed you in the back with the barrel of the gun. His fingers dug into your skin. You knew he would probably leave bruises. “Let's go.” He urged, pushing you forward. You were leading him blindly, but you hoped you would make it convincing enough for him.

–

In-ho was watching over the voting process after the first game. It was a rather tedious task, as he was really just watching a few hundred people getting in line to push a button. That was until he heard the alarm start to sound off. He turned to one of the managers, the blank eyes of the mask staring into the square outline. “What is that?” He asked, but he already knew. His blood ran cold, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“It's, uh-" the manager paused to think of the way to phrase it, "It's their alarm, Sir" You didn't have a title in the compound since you hadn't been involved in the operation yet. Most people didn't even know you were still on the island. Only a very select few of the managers knew that you were here.

“Where are they?” He said. The filter in his mask helped to mask the growing anxiety.

“They are just leaving the suite now.”

In-ho didn't waste time. “Start investigating the breach. You two,” He ordered, gesturing to the two triangle soldiers posted at the door, “with me.” He said. He rushed out of the control room. He had the upper hand of knowing the layout of the building.

You were trying not to lead the intruder in circles, but you literally had no idea where you were going. “Are you sure you're going the right way?” He snapped.

“I don't know the layout here, I told you that.” You said. You didn't want him to realize it, but you were crying now.

“You're fucking useless.” He hissed, digging the barrel into your spine again. You whimpered, scared of what he would do.

In-ho was able to hear that exchange, and he was seething. He pulled out his own revolver, keeping it low at his side, before turning the corner, and his eyes landed on you and the man.

The man quickly moved the gun from your back to your temple. You tried to flinch away from it, but he tightened his grip on your arm. He was using you as a shield, but he was looking over your shoulder.

You looked at In-ho with wide eyes. Your breathing was shallow as you panicked. Any source of comfort you could gain from his presence was hidden behind the mask, literally and metaphorically. You couldn't see his face, and he couldn't say anything comforting to you because he knew showing an attachment could create problems later on.

You understood his reasoning, but it wasn't enough at the moment. You could very well die here, and the last thing you see of him is the black polygonal mask. You were also scared that he would have to watch you die if something went wrong here. He would have to watch it and hold in his grief because the others couldn't know. You didn't want to become one of the ghosts of people from his past that still haunted his mind.

“I take it that you're looking for me.” In-ho said coldly. The mask was hiding it, but he was scared right now. He couldn't even remember the last time he was scared. But seeing you treated like this terrified him.

The man laughed angrily, “Looks like you weren't as stupid as I thought.” He snapped, punctuating his statement by digging the barrel of the gun into your skin. He looked over your shoulder toward In-ho. “Now, you're gonna show me where my sister is, or I'm gonna put a bullet in-”

The man was cut off by a gunshot, the bullet going straight through his skull. You screamed, scrambling away from the man. For a second, you thought the man shot you. You put your hand up to your temple, pulling it away to see blood. But it wasn't yours.

In-ho froze for a moment, taking a deep breath. He was still holding out his revolver, finger on the trigger after he took the man out. Once it registered in his brain that you were safe, he turned to the soldiers.

“Deal with this.” He said shortly to them. He took a step forward and grabbed your hand. He led you back toward the suite. He didn't do or say anything to you at first. He didn't need any of the soldiers realizing that you were a vulnerability of his.

Once the door shut behind you both, he pulled the mask off, letting it clatter to the ground as he pulled you into his arms. You cried into his chest, hands clenching around the fabric of his jacket.

He tried to calm you down, but it was obvious that he was shaken up by it as well. He gently ran his fingers through your hair. “Hey, it's okay now. You're safe now. He's gone. It's okay.” He whispered repeatedly.

You tried to calm down, but you couldn't manage it. You could feel the man's blood drying on your face and hand. You could still feel the dull ache where he grabbed you. You were shaking in his arms, breathing ragged and shallow.

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. "I'm right here, okay? We're safe in here." He murmured. You nodded slightly. After a few minutes, your grip on his jacket loosened slightly. Your breathing slowed somewhat, but you still weren't calm.

“Do you want to go sit down?” He asked. You looked up at him. Your eyes were still wide and were now glassy and red from crying. You nodded. You couldn't even think about forming words right now.

He led you over toward the couch with a gentle hand on your elbow. He avoided touching your shoulders as he didn't know if you were hurt, and he certainly didn't want to remind you of the man's touch. After you sat down, he looked down at you. “I'll be right back, okay? I'm just going over to the kitchen.” He said. He waited for you to nod slightly before walking away.

He returned with a wet towel and a glass of water. You haven't moved since he left, still staring at the same spot on the floor with a faraway gaze. He got on his knees in front of you, setting the glass on the hardwood floor for a moment.

“I'm just going to wipe off your face, okay?” He asked. He placed his hand gingerly on your jaw, using the other to wipe the blood off. He tried to steady his own hands to no avail. He gently grabbed your hand and wiped it as well. “Do you want a drink?” He asked. You shook your head. He nodded. He walked over and placed it and the towel on an end table.

He sat down next to you. You turned so you were sitting perpendicular to him. You laid your legs across his and leaned into him. Your head rested against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat, which served to ground you. One of his arms wrapped around you while his other hand found its way into your hair.

You were still crying, but you had definitely calmed down somewhat. “Deep breaths, okay? Can you do that for me?” He murmured. You nodded slightly. You instinctively matched his breathing as he rubbed your arm. His anxiety was definitely lessening, but he still felt an intense anger in the back of his mind. Part of him wished he left the man alive so he could make him suffer.

After a few minutes of sitting like that, he moved his hands. One cupped your cheek gently, guiding your gaze to him. “If you don't want to, you don't have to, but could you tell me what happened?” He asked gently. It would be helpful to know so he could properly investigate the incident, but he also knew it wouldn't be a pleasant thing to discuss.

You sat quietly for a moment, moving back to your original position. “I was starting to make dinner, and I heard the door open and..." You said, trailing off as your breathing started to quicken again.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." He said, hushing you quietly. His embrace tightened slightly, resting his chin on the top of your head. "We don't have to talk about it now. Don't worry about it, okay?" You nodded slightly.

You both sat there for a moment. You started to shakily take deeper breaths. In-ho started humming softly. You didn't recognize the song, but you knew it had to be one of the pretentious classical songs that he held in high regard but you had never heard of. It definitely helped to soothe you, however

He took a deep breath. “He didn't hurt you, did he?” He asked. His tone was gentle, but you could tell there was an anger behind it.

“Not really.” You said. You felt him tense up, so you elaborated. “I mean, he grabbed my shoulder pretty hard and dug the barrel into my skin, but I'm fine.” You mumbled.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You nodded.

You both sat like that for a moment before you spoke. “I'm sorry for scaring you.”

He looked down at you, puzzled. “That's not your fault.”

You shrugged. “I just feel bad because I know you had to hide it until we were alone.” You said.

He held you a bit tighter. “I'll admit, I was really worried. But it's not your fault at all. You have nothing to apologize for.” He said somewhat sternly.

In his mind, the anxiety he feels is just a manifestation of his love for you and his desire to keep you safe. It wasn't your fault that he was worried, and he didn't mind that he was. It was a good thing in his eyes.

You looked up at him, a slight smirk on your face. “At least we know the chips work.” You said with a giggle.

He smiled. There is nothing like some ill-timed humor to lighten the mood. “Maybe next time, we'll leave product testing up to the manufacturer.” He said. He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead.

You returned to listen to his heartbeat. “Can we just sit here for a second like this?” You still felt a bit nervous and shaky, likely from the adrenaline leaving your system.

He nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need.” He said gently. He rubbed your arm slowly. “What were you doing in the garden today?” He asked. He knew you both could use a distraction right now.

You jumped at the chance to talk to him about it, hoping it changes the topic and mood of the conversation. You told him about what you planted in the new planter and how the weeds around the rhododendron bush were stubborn. You updated him on your recent attempts to hand-feed some of the birds that nested in the area. He chuckled and picked on you for your insistence, but your determination and stubbornness were a bit inspiring, honestly.

When you had stopped talking, you had calmed down significantly. You were no longer shaking, and you felt like you could breathe again. And In-ho had calmed down too, seeing as he was considerably less tense. “Do you want to start on dinner? I'm going to make a call to the control room, and I'll be in to help.” He asked.

You looked up at him, giving a skeptical look. You've heard this one before.

He sighed. “It'll be quick, I promise.” He said.

“Sure…” you said, drawing out the vowel.

He rolled his eyes. “You are insufferable sometimes.” He said without malice.

You gave a look of mock surprise. “Rude.”

You got up to the kitchen while In-ho walked over to the rotary phone on the desk. You tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation, but most of it was just him ordering them to investigate the breach. He also ensured he could be with you the rest of the evening, something that brought a smile to your face. He was down bad, wasn't he?

The evening went smoothly for the two of you. He didn't need to be called into the control room at all.

You both got into bed for the night. You looked over at him. “Thank you.” You said softly.

He looked confused. “For what?” He asked.

“For staying with me tonight.” You murmured. “I know the games are important, and they need you. So this means a lot to me.”

He chuckled softly. “Of course I would. You're important to me too, you know?” He said. You could tell from his tone that he was tired. You pressed a kiss to his lips, and you felt him smile into the kiss.

You pulled away slowly. “I love you.” You mumbled.

“I love you too.” He said. He wrapped an arm around you, and it wasn't long until you were able to drift off.

It also wasn't long until In-ho woke up with a start. He jerked awake, breathing quickly. He jerked his gaze over to find you, making sure you didn't have the gunshot wound he had just watched you get in his nightmare.

He thought he hadn't woken you, but you eventually sat up with a yawn. “Hey, what's going on?” You asked sleepily.

He looked down at you. “Nothing, it's fine.” He said softly.

You caught on to what was happening, but you didn't say anything. You rolled over, resting your head on his chest and wrapping your arm around him. “Love you.” You murmured before dozing back off.

He looked at you and smiled with a lovesick grin. What did he do to deserve you? He thought about it until he drifted off to sleep himself.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Marina behind the cut; “alpha Jazz, a dark alley, and a very pretty omega”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Though it’s hard to tell from how loud he yowls if that volume's because he’s coming or if it’s just because of his wail. 

Well–she doesn’t think as much glass broke that last time, at least. 

. . . though there also just may not be all that much glass left to break in earshot, considering. Might also be that. 

Probably is actually that, yeah. 

“You’re loud,” Jazz observes stupidly, which is incredibly obvious and therefore a totally unnecessary observation, though she’s gonna forgive herself for that because going bareback with an in-heat halfa after dropping into rut cold is nothing like in-clinic rut management and it’s very–it’s very distracting, it’s absolutely entirely distracting, it’s–every time she thrusts into Red Hood she can hear the wet, filthy sound of it, can hear the impact of her hips hitting his absolutely perfect ass every time he takes her to the hilt, because he does take her to the hilt, because he wants her in him to the hilt, even with her knot half-blown he wants it–

She thinks she was thinking about something else, maybe, but Red Hood’s hole keeps clutching her clit like it never wants it to pull out, so that’s really taking up most of her bandwidth right now. Or–all of it, maybe. 

“Why yuh smell like that, why yuh feel like that, sho good, why’sit sho good,” Red Hood slurs, sounding this close to wasted, his hips jerking in desperate, erratic shudders as Jazz snaps her full length into him again and his hands claw at her back and his hole somehow manages to get even tighter. “In me, wan’ it in me, feels sho good, feels like m’dyin’ again.” 

Definitely all her bandwidth is right here, yeah. 

“Oh, did–fuck, ah–did dying feel good?” Jazz asks distractedly as she fucks him hard enough that this time he sinks into the wall because the cratered bricks give even deeper, and not because of any intangibility. She only asks because Red Hood seems like the talkative type and she feels like she should be supportive of that while he’s treating her clit this good, and also because she needs something to concentrate on to keep her from blowing her knot before Red Hood’s hole gets treated that good itself. She can barely breathe, but she can–talk, she thinks. Mostly. Mostly she can talk. “My brother just said–ah, ah–he said it tasted like batteries, but backwards, whatever that means, Ancients, you’re so tight. I didn’t think anybody could be so tight.” 

“Wuzn’t. Wuzn’t good,” Red Hood mumbles blurrily, his head lolling back against the bricks and a note of distress slipping into his scent and a flicker of near-intangibility chasing its way through just about every part of him that isn’t death-gripping her clit. Given the reaction, Jazz figures it’d be rude to press, but also she definitely needs to make that distress in his scent go away; needs to make him feel better. Omega needs to feel better. Omega needs to feel perfect. Omega needs to feel so perfect he forgets he’s even dead. 

She can make that happen, she thinks. 

She will. 

And if he really is a halfa . . .

[ellicdote]

This is my first ever tumblr blog post. I was planning on just lurking forever.

But I am remarkably autistic about this and need to vomit it SOMEWHERE. So you're getting it.

Now, I originally was planning on banishing Caleb to the shadow realm because I thought that him being basically our brother and then becoming a love interest was WEIRD.

But then he came out, and I read his stories, and now he's one of my favorites.

Caleb is toxic in a way that is so interesting that it makes me want to put him in a jar and study him. What makes me most engaged is that he isn't beyond reason or redemption; he has the potential to correct these unhealthy behaviors given enough time and space.

His obsession with MC is prevalent and deeply concerning; he doesn't trust her to protect herself, he is willing to brutally kill anyone who hurts her, he wants to 'exist in a world where it's just the two of us'... but it comes from a place of such genuine fear and care that it makes one hesitate to call him a bad person. He is not wrong in constantly being worried for MC's safety, she is quite literally being targeted by people who want to experiment on her, but he goes about it in a way that denies her autonomy. Caleb is ruled by his fear and obsessive devotion to her to the point that he is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

He was willing to stay as far away as possible after the explosion and subsequent his involvement with Ever, because he knew that she would be safest at a distance. But once she found her way in? The only way to ensure her safety is to keep her glued to his side.

Caleb and MC are codependent. They feel like they would lose themselves should they lose the other. Now, I admit that Caleb is definitely the more dependent one and has been for a long time. Caleb has an aggressive need to be needed, specifically by MC. He needs her, so he wants her to need him. I'd argue that's something that comes from the fear; he wants that reassurance that she'll never leave him behind. But since the reunion, MC has definitely been tightening her grip on him in return. She lost him once, she can't lose him again.

However, when it comes to Caleb's controlling tendencies, MC does not up with his bullshit; she will not forced to passively wait until it's safe. No, she will FIGHT. Caleb argues with her on this, but he can and has been swayed to back off.

However, he does relapse. I mean, it's hard not to do when your worst fears are being validated day in and day out. He has a fundamental belief that he must be MC's protector, that she needs his help in order to stay safe. He wants to trust in her, but that nagging voice in the back of his head keeps going 'You have to intervene. You have to keep her out of this. It's the only way you're going to know that she's safe,'. MC is a damsel in distress, and he is the only one who can save her.

The chip that's implanted in him only enhances his toxic traits. During his bond story, he acknowledges his selfishness when MC calls him out, and even states that he's trying to let go of his obsessive tendencies. He wants to have a healthier way to go about things. The chip made him go back on his progress, but he's still able to see reason.

Caleb and MC are going to be in each other's lives no matter what, either as friends or lovers, and their dynamic is on very shaky ground. But there's hope.

It's that hope for a healthier relationship that makes them so utterly devastating to me. Watching their ups and downs happen is an emotional rollercoaster. The conflict also gives the relationship somewhere to go, story wise, that's engaging.

tl;dr, Caleb has toxic behaviors and has done harmful things to MC, but he's not beyond redemption.

[illuminatedquill]

Story Summary: After Kanan's death, Ezra enlists Chopper’s help in recording a special message for Sabine.

[RECORDING START]

[QUERY: ANNOYED: ARE YOU READY?]

. . . Yeah, I think so. Wait. How do I look? Do I have any marks on me? I should use the refresher, I think -

[RESPONSE: SARCASTIC: MY BATTERY WILL RUN OUT OF CHARGE BEFORE WE START, IDIOT.]

Hilarious, Chop. I know for a fact that Hera installed you with those new ZXL-90 batteries. The ones that store a charge through kinetic movement, right? I bet you can keep complaining for the rest of our lives without needing a recharge since you love running that motor mouth of yours.

[RESPONSE: SERIOUS: YOU ARE STALLING.]

[OBSERVATION: SUBJECT-6, ANXIETY RIDDEN. EYES DOWNCAST, FINGERS FIDGETING THROUGH HAIR]

Okay, yeah. I am. I don't really know what to say here. So much has happened - and there's so much more to come.

(pause)

Kanan would know what to say. What to do. He wouldn't be scared - well, no, he would be. But he wouldn't let it get the better of him.

[NOTE: SUBJECT-6 MIMICS SUBJECT-1'S (DECEASED) MODE OF SPEECH HERE]

'It's not being above the fear, kid. It's about not letting it be in the pilot's seat.'

. . . I miss him so much, Chopper. It hasn't been long since . . . well. Do you miss him, too?

[RESPONSE: GENTLE: HE IS NOT GONE FOR ME. I HAVE A RECORD OF EVERY CONVERSATION AND INTERACTION WE HAD STORED IN MY MEMORY BANK.]

That must be nice. I can't even remember the last conversation we had.

[STATEMENT: SINCERE: IF YOU EVER WISH TO, I CAN REPLAY SOME OF MY MEMORIES OF HIM FOR YOU.]

Oh, that's . . . that's really sweet of you, Chopper. I'll have to take you up on that offer some day. But I think Hera needs you more than I do. Especially in the days to come.

[QUERY: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?]

[OBSERVATION: CONCERNED: SUBJECT-6 IS SMILING, BUT THERE IS A NOTE OF UNKNOWN EMOTION - MELANCHOLY(?) - PRESENT]

It's not important at the moment. Are you recording?

[RESPONSE: YES.]

Okay. Here goes -

(deep breath)

Hey, Sabine. If you're seeing this, then my plan worked and . . . well, I'm probably not there anymore. I might be dead, in fact.

(winces)

Edit that out. Actually, stop recording for a moment.

[COMPLAINT: WE JUST STARTED.]

Just stop, please. I need to gather my notes.

[RESPONSE: SURLY: AS YOU WISH.] [NOTATION: RECORDING CONTINUING UN-PAUSED; SUBJECT-6 IN CLEAR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WILL KEEP ON FILE FOR LATER FOR REVIEW WITH SUBJECT-5.]

(indistinct muttering)

How do I say this . . . how.

'Hey, Sabine. Sorry for disappearing on you and, by the way, I have a small favor to ask: can you protect Lothal while I'm gone? And maybe can you come find me, even though I don't know where I'm going?' Sure, yeah. She'll be super fine about all of that, Ezra. No big deal.

(more unintelligible muttering)

I can't say that. No way. It's too much. This was a mistake; I don't want to do any of this!

[QUERY: CONCERNED: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?]

Everyone's looking to me now, Chopper. Everyone. Because Kanan's gone. I still had so much to learn from him - look at me, I'm not ready for this! I've been living in this safe little bubble with everyone from the Ghost and now that bubble is gone! Governor Pryce killed Kanan and now I'm all that's left.

(heavy breathing)

He changed things with his - his passing. Kanan did. I don't know how, but the Force is telling me, whispering to me that the time is coming soon. Lothal's fate rests with me now, I can feel it and I - and I don't feel worthy of it. I cannot bear it. It's too heavy.

(bitter laughter)

The boy savior. Do you know how long I have dreamed of freeing my home from the Empire? And now that moment has come and I'm too scared. I've never felt more like some just dumb street-rat than at this precise moment. Kanan picked the wrong kid to train - OW!

[NOTATION: PHYSICAL VIOLENCE (ELECTRIC PROBE) WAS USED TO CORRECT SUBJECT-6'S MISTAKEN STATEMENTS. PROVED SUCCESSFUL.]

Ow - what are you - ouch, that hurts!

Stop that! Chopper!

[STATEMENT: TERSE: I WILL STOP WHEN YOU CEASE YOUR STUPIDITY.]

Alright, alright! I'll stop.

[RESPONSE: GRUMPY: GOOD.]

I think you enjoyed that a little.

[STATEMENT: CHEERFUL: OF COURSE NOT. I ENJOYED THAT A LOT.]

(snorts) I figured.

. . . I'm a mess, aren't I.

[STATEMENT: POINTED: MORE SO THAN USUAL, YES.]

Yeah. Oh, if Kanan could see me now.

(pause)

Okay. Okay. I need to do this. Let me read my notes again, so I can get this right -

[STATEMENT: INTERJECTION: IGNORE THE NOTES. SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.]

I'll get it wrong, Chopper, I have so much to say to Sabine. I have to get it right. For her.

[STATEMENT: REASSURING: SHE WILL UNDERSTAND. DO NOT LET YOUR HEAD CONFUSE YOUR HEART. THAT IS WHAT SHE WILL HEAR IN WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY.]

No. Absolutely not. I have the notes for a reason, Chop. How am I supposed to convey to her - my best friend, my partner, my - my -

(pause)

Look, she's - she's everything to me. Like how Hera was to Kanan, do you understand? I can't imagine my life without her. These past five years have passed so quickly, but every day spent by Sabine's side it was - it was magical. Five years is - what? - around 1800 days, if you're counting it in regular standard time. Most of those days were spent with her and everyone else on the Ghost. Best days of my life.

I'm not even a full adult yet in terms of physical years but . . . I guess you could call that period of time my 'good old days'. Heh.

The Force is this cosmic phenomenon that I can tap into, mysterious and unknowable, but her? As a Jedi I shouldn't be saying this, but I believe in her more than I do the Force. She's the only one I can trust with . . . everything.

[QUERY: CURIOUS: WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MESSAGE?]

. . . To say good-bye, I guess. And hello. If that makes sense.

Sabine, given her personal history, will be hurt the most from my absence. I know that for sure. I want her to know that - that I tried. I really did, to find any other way. But this is how it has to be.

A message like this is real. She can see me. Hear me. I'd write a letter too, but I don't think there's enough paper on hand to fully encapsulate how I feel about her.

So, I have to do this instead. Make a message, just for her. I do not want her wondering . . . about us. Where she stands with me.

(sighs)

Open secret that I had a huge crush on her when I first came aboard. She ignored that, thankfully.

[QUERY: SURPRISE: YOU HAD A CRUSH ON SABINE?]

You didn't know? I thought everyone -

[RESPONSE: MOCKING: THAT WAS A JOKE. EVEN A DROID LIKE ME FIGURED THAT OUT.]

Oh, ha, very funny. You pretend to be heartless, but I know you care. Hera wouldn't let you hang around after so long if you didn't.

Anyway, I thought I had it successfully buried after so long. There were bigger problems than some teenage crush, right? The Empire breathing down our necks, trying to outrun the Inquisitors, then Malachor, Mandalore, and then back to Lothal . . . I thought I had outgrown it.

(bitter-sweet smile)

But it turns out that it was still growing inside me. Went from a crush to something more. I love her. Nothing could shake it, not even what was revealed on Mandalore. I just wanted to be with her, through whatever the galaxy threw at us.

I love her, Chopper. I love Sabine Wren. She's in my veins, pumping through my arteries, giving me life. Giving me strength.

. . . You stopped recording, right? I don't want any of this in the message.

[STATEMENT: LIE: YES.]

(snorts)

Yeah, right.

Kanan and I talked a little about Jedi attachments a while back. I know how he and Hera handled it. I had hoped - no, I still hope that someday, me and Sabine will be able to give it a try.

(laughs)

If she'd have me, that is. Sometimes I catch her looking at me, smiling, and I think I get a sense of something . . . I don't know how to describe it, something deeper - and then she makes some glib remark or insult and it's gone again. I might just be delusional, though. Too many hits on my head through the years of combat against the Imps.

[STATEMENT: OBSERVATION: I CATCH YOU LOOKING AT HER, TOO.]

Oh, really? And how do I look? What's my expression like, I wonder.

[STATEMENT: THOUGHTFUL: STAR-STRUCK.]

. . . Yeah, that sounds about right. Looking at her - with these feelings I'm so desperate to hide, it's so hard sometimes. If I had to describe it - it's like trying to count a flock of birds against the sun.

Can't do it, right? It's too bright.

(quietly) Too bright. She's too bright to look at for so long. But I want to try anyway, like the sap I am. I guess I'm hoping that the image of her will be burned into my eyes. If my plan works, the chances of survivability are extremely low, you know.

I'd like her to be the last thing I see when I close my eyes for the last time, if the worst happens. Some people want stars, or forests, or a blue sky for a last image. Not me.

I just want her.

[QUERY: SOFT: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY?]

I love everything about her. Equally. Good, bad, ugly - or whatever she thinks is ugly about her. I certainly don't think there is. It's all Sabine, after all. And I love Sabine. So how could it any of it be bad?

The war won't stop because Thrawn is out of the picture. And it will be harder without me. And it guts me to think that I can't be by her side after this is all said and finished.

She has to do it. I have faith in Sabine that she will get it done. I'm counting on her, and I know she will not let me down.

I . . . all I can say is that I'm sorry. And I love you.

The only way out from all the grief and misery to come is to just get through it. She's the strongest person I know.

The only way out is through.

. . . And I know you've been recording all this time despite me saying to stop. So, we'll end this here. I'll just have Hera delete this memory file later after I do the real message.

[QUERY: SURPRISED: WHY DO YOU NOT WISH FOR SABINE TO HEAR THIS?]

Maybe I want to tell her myself when I see her again.

Or maybe I don't want her to be burdened with any of this. She has enough on her plate because of me.

(sighs)

I'll have to lie. Sorry, Sabine. If it really is the end . . . I don't want her to be hung up on me. There needs to be a chance to live her life. Even without me. Especially without me.

[STATEMENT: HONEST: TRUTH OR LIE, IT DOES NOT MATTER; SHE WILL COME AFTER YOU. WHEREVER YOU GO.]

(smiles sadly)

But the lie will hurt less, I think. Just this one time. To protect her.

Anyway, thanks for the help Chopper. Sorry for the sudden shut-down, I'll make it up to you later -

[RECORDING HALTED]

[NOTATION: BACKUP MEMORY FILE CREATED.]

_ _ _ _ _

The comm-tower's interior was deathly silent.

Sabine sat in her chair, staring at Chopper in shock. Her hands were shaking, badly.

"Why - why did you show me this?" she asked, feeling sick.

The astromech replayed a part of the conversation - Ezra, from long ago, struggling to leave her a good-bye message.

"The only way out is through."

The shaking stopped. Her hands, cold and clammy, balled into fists.

"I tried that. For three years," she hissed. "And he still won't leave me. He's still in my veins, making everything hurt."

The astromech just played Ezra's voice again.

"The only way out is through."

She stood up abruptly. "Get out," she snarled. "I don't want to hear this anymore."

Chopper let out a sigh, swiveling around to head for the comm-tower's turbolift to exit. But then he paused at the doorway and started playing another voice - only this time, it was Hera's.

"Hey, Sabine. I know I'm the last person you want to hear after everything that happened - but I found this voice file on Chop's back-up memory banks. Thought you might want to hear it."

Sabine bowed her head, feeling the guilt, anger, and shame weigh down on her shoulders like an invisible weight.

"I know you feel alone right now. I know that you feel like you've lost faith with everything you cared about - and it's because of me, partially. And Ahsoka. And the New Republic."

There was a strange sound emitting from her now. A sob, a scream, she wasn't sure - it was half-strangled in her throat, close to becoming a deathly wail.

"Just know this," Hera continued. "Someone still believes in you. If you lose faith in everything else, don't lose faith in him."

There was a pause. Then -

"And don't lose faith in yourself. Ezra never would. And . . . and happy birthday, Sabine."

Chopper left. The moment the turbo-lift doors closed, she crumpled to the ground, arms folding across her stomach; it felt like everything vital within her was threatening to spill out.

"It didn't hurt less, idiot," she said through gritted teeth. "You lied. You lied!"

After so long, incredibly, Sabine found her fire. Her will to go on.

And it was because she was pissed at Ezra Bridger.

"I'll find you," she whispered, shaking, rising in the gloom of the comm-tower's dark interior. Outside, the Lothal sun was rising on a new day.

Sabine stumbled outside to the railing, feeling the rays of sunlight hit her face. She felt energized, alive, in a way that had long been absent from her life for a long, long while.

Somewhere, a flock of birds were flying against the sun, making for their nesting grounds. Were there birds, wherever he was? Was he still trying to count them?

It didn't matter, she thought. When Sabine found him again - and she would - she would make sure that he saw her for real.

[dcdreamblog]

Didn't The Ray has a sidekick for a while in the fifties? Spitfire or something like that? Whatever happened to him?

Yes that's a rather tragic tale that one and a story that highlights the dangers that come with superhuman abilities no matter who your parents are.

(A photograph from the Philadelphia Inquirer showing Spitfire's temporary rampage through the city.) Joshua Terrill was born to the first Ray, Langford "Happy" Terrill and his first wife Rachael in the late 1940s with genetic abilities inherited from his father. The ability to direct, absorb and control photons of visible light. His abilities were even stronger than his father's, able to take on a fully intangible form. He was unveiled to the world as the Ray's sidekick Spitfire for a few months around the passing of the Keane Act. The Keane Act making their actions rife with hostile encounters with police and the public revealed Joshua's burgeoning mental instability, a violent instinct in the boy that was only more damaging because of the destructive potential of his abilities. During an argument with his mother, the young Joshua lost control, turning his abilities on her to fatal results. Naturally horrified by his son's actions, the elder Ray restrained his son and placed him in cryogenic status until a time where the interaction between his mental illness and his powers could be better treated, especially with government hostility against publically active superhumans being at an all time high. This personal tragedy is what lead the Ray to abandon our reality and join the expedition of the Freedom Fighters that set off to liberate the Nazi dominated Earth-X. It wasn't until the second and current Ray uncovered the still slumbering Joshua that much of this information came to light, as the awakened Spitfire went on a nearly fatal rampage across Philadelphia. Eventually both Rays were able to bring the young man under control (leading to a rather heartbreaking scene of young Joshua breaking down sobbing and begging his father for help while wrapped around his ankles. It really is watching a snarling supervillain turn into a scared 10 year old in the blink of an eye) The boy has, very rightly, been kept away from the public eye since then under the care of the Ray and his second wife Nadine. He is enrolled in STAR Labs' superhuman psychology unit through their Philadelphia branch where one can assume he is undergoing intensive therapy not only for his native mental disquiet but also the trauma of the events he has been through. He has been at the center of the so called "Killer Kids" 'movement' when a national forum of 'concerned' parents and other authorities figures attacked programs like STAR Labs for offering these kinds of rehabilitation programs to "metahuman delinquents" rather than placing them in a juvenile detention facility or, as many in the movement prefer, stating that the possession of metahuman abilities automatically should force one to be tried as an adult. My thoughts on such a "movement" are simplistic and can usually be communicated in a series of very impolite four letter words at very high volume. Especially when the apex of this movement's popularity escalated to protests and threats being made toward or around the Terrills' Philadelphia home. Which I'm sure only further exacerbated Joshua's mental distress. The movement has died down into the realm of vague conspiracy theories (though the movement endorsed Lex Luthor for president *cough cough*) and as far as is publically known Joshua continues his recovery in private, surrounded by trusted professionals and family. I will reiterate my personal and professional stance that the Terrills are owed their privacy and that any public speculation of Joshua's current condition is just that, speculation and I condemn any attempt to invade or interrupt the boy's life for our public knowledge, curiosity or "judgement"

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is yeah we mask really well, no one can tell

Literally every single time we've come out to someone about the system (/srs)

"Yeah I kinda had an idea"

Or

"Ohhh that makes sense now actually"

Like guys please ;-;

We are trying to pass ;-;

And we've had people ask us if we have DID without us even mentioning it like come on

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[dootznbootz]

Do y'all ever think about how it's possible that Zeus' first verse in Thunder Bringer is about Penelope and his second is about Odysseus?

She's a "Damsel in Distress" (She's cool af, she just needs some help and misses her idiot), the suitors are prideful and hope to do what Zeus is singing about to her. Pressuring her to choose. Her "true nature" is revealed when her trickery with the shroud is found out .

The 2nd Verse about how Zeus is also the God of Justice and punishing them for the crew's crime of slaying the cattle. Odysseus saves himself to see Penelope again, meaning his crew/people will die. They died for touching Helios' cattle. Odysseus also saves himself AND Helps Penelope by killing all the suitors for their crime of flirting with/bothering Penelope and making her cry, while also bullying and eventually planning to kill his son. Many of Ithaca's men are killed for their pride too. Thinking that they're worthy of Penelope when Nobody is. Flirt with the Wife, you get the knife.

Penelope and Odysseus DO take each others' suffering away when they reunite as well. 🥹

[spaciebabie]

hey so im not white

[bacchuschucklefuck]

i love your bard! riz au so much. he is so tragic as a character for all the reasons of what living in constant danger fear does to your mind. can i ask about his relationship with the other bad kids and the major differences vs canon?

hey I'm glad ur enjoying what's goin on here! I don't have a Lot of it clear in my mind yet bc it is a full class swap of the entire party so some stuff will just. not play out until they do yknow? it is how it is. but I think from the beginning riz's motivation is decently different so he'll just get into it on an entirely different path - he did Not start out a very kind kid. he would be extremely conflict avoidant, he's got the Actor feat, he's stocked up on Disguise Self, he's ready to disappear mid-conversation, anyone who looks like troubles he's steering Clear of. he goes to aguefort not because he wants to be an adventurer but because sklonda was like "this works for you?" and he was like "yeah 's all good :]" (he is about to throw up bc that's where penny went missing)

I'd say he runs into fabian (rogue) first very briefly and they'd mutually be like oh. a guy. and immediately forget each other once they get out of the same like locked classroom they accidentally both hid in. and then during the corn cutie fight fabian would see the way riz react and Not Like It (haha whoa. like looking in a mirror amirite) and go actually I'd rather be a hero (derogatory) than whatever that is that guy's got going on. great surprise for him when they got out and registration's closed and the mirror is now one of his partners in the career-long group project :]

kristen (sorcerer) would be an Insane encounter at first for riz like this is someone who is extremely powerful, not very controlled, and so fucking starved for people to be nice at. riz is cordial to her on the way and she is like Fuck Yeah Friend! please go do paperwork with me I don't know shit from fuck I haven't had proper paperwork since I was like twelve and gay. do you like candies? she then throws ragh through a window for trying to bully gorgug and netting her and gorgug the detention (riz is of course immediately someone else while this is happening) (he shows up again right after like haha sorry that was scary! resolutely not looking at how kristen's face falls at the idea of someone being scared of her again)

riz and gorgug (cleric) get on like house on fire at first in the sense that they're at that point both fake bitches and they know this about each other and acknowledge this with each other implicitly and they're like I'm not poking at what's going on with you if you don't poke at what's going on with me. and then gorgug dies and sees that the god he's been feeding his anger to isn't real (yet) and has his realization that he's been indoctrinated into a cult through the support group he's been to and starts on deprogramming and in that process he starts poking at riz's deal just by proxy of dealing with his own. riz gets vicious about this a bit into it but after the arcade he kinda comes around again. it helps that at the end of sophomore year gorgug becomes the saint of the Inbetween and riz is very much in need of that stop on his way right then

fig (barbarian) on the other hand does Not like riz off the bat (her whole thing is leaning into rage to live her truth without fear) but then being as perceptive as she is soon she's like ohhhh you're just scared. like Really scared and it's ruining your life. and after that she's like I'll just protect you then :] (this is her solution to most things her friends go through) this does not help at first bc riz has picked up the pattern that is if you're protective of him bad things will happen to you. he will have a breakdown about this in sophomore year but it'll get better from there

adaine (artificer) on the Other other hand just straight up doesn't like riz until after the arcade lol. he's on the prep side, he's not socially awkward and he doesn't use that power for anything but being a coward, he lets biz talk at him in the AV club and that means biz never stops fucking talking, and every time adaine raises a complaint all he does is being like "sorry :[" and changing nothing. it's fucked up between them riz tries to appease her by doing nice things but he doesn't address the things she actually complains about so she doesn't take it. she's the person who outright calls him out for not having the backbone to stand up for himself or his party. despite this she never thinks of throwing him out of the party and he does pick up on this. they get better after the arcade and riz apologizing and by junior year adaine's the one handling the tech end of riz's freelance publication

all of this is subjected to change of course I'm mostly keeping things mobile that's where all the fun is hehe. the world is constantly in motion etc but this is kinda how I'm coming into my art atm we'll simply see!

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

where's all this energy coming from

i've been running around (literally) since 2pm today and i can't sleep at nearly 12 hours later

[baalzebufo]

UM teehee... I saw a body horror concept floating around and wanted to do my own take on it because I will always, ALWAYS, take the opportunity to put a blorbo through the meat grinder. or the pizza cutter, in this case-

anyway this was probably pizzaheads fault, somehow. who knows. its probably very greasy and unpleasant for all involved. dont worry thats not blood its just sauce! (this fact does not make the situation any less distressing for him.)

bonus: we poured marinara on him

[steakout-05]

i think all those autism vlogging youtube channels that post distressing videos of their children having meltdowns and intense panic attacks for thousands and thousands of people to see should be deleted and banned off the website and i am not kidding. i don't care what excuse they use whether it's "oh no it's for education purposes! so clearly posting our kids in state of extreme emotional and mental distress is okay 😊" or some other excuse, it's not okay to post your kids in what can be a very vulnerable and embarrassing state to be in for the whole internet to see. don't even come at me with that "they asked for the videos to be posted!" rubbish kids cannot consent to that no matter how intelligent or informed they are about the consequences of those videos going online. children cannot and should not consent to those videos going up and it pisses me off that the blatant exploitation of children and disabled people is still normalised and excused like this. cause that's what it is. it's exploitative of the vulnerable no matter how much it swears it's trying to be educational. 99% of the time the only reason these kinds of videos are online is to get clicks and views and money and it's disgusting.