#that episode makes me unreasonably emotional

[youngpettyqueen]

I totally agree with your latest update on your post about Charles. I saw this meme earlier and it definitely made me think of him. I won’t comment on who I think the first part applies to.

so glad you agree ok cause I am a Charles defender first and human second

and to elaborate on that sentiment like. yes Charles is rude and pretentious and arrogant, he's got flaws, but that's not all he is! boiling him down to just his negative traits no matter any context is just a disservice to his character, both as he comes right from the get-go and the growth he goes through over the course of the series. he's just as complex and layered as anyone else!

honestly after a rewatch im far more sympathetic towards him earlier on than I was on first watch. like, the arrogance and pretentiousness aside, because those are separate- his anger at being at the 4077 is completely justified. he has every right to be angry. this colonel literally sent him near the front of the line because he was a petty asshole who was pissed off about losing bridge. im not saying Charles was behaving particularly sportsman-ly but the colonel was absolutely wrong for that. and like, I get that they needed another surgeon at the 4077 with Frank gone, but Charles also had every right to be angry with Potter for keeping him there. it was fucked up!

but to switch gears to his virtues- not all of Charles' kindness was part of his character development I dont think. him defending the kid with the stutter comes to mind immediately, because we know he felt so passionately about that kid because Honoria has a stutter. there's also Yessir, That's Our Baby- he gets MAD on behalf of the injustice that baby faces! that's big brother instinct, but thats also just. kindness and care. oh, and the patient who loses mobility in his hand and is distraught because he's a pianist, and Charles goes out of his way to get him music he can play with only one hand? his whole speech about how he always wanted to play, but never had the gift? he's so passionate in that one! and of course we cant forget his family's tradition of anonymously donating to people in need around the holidays- for all his family's flaws, ive always loved that detail, and ive always loved that he tried to do it even in Korea. those are just examples off the top of my head, there's absolutely more

and then there's the kindness and care he exhibits as he grows as a character. when Potter reveals to everyone he's the last one of his old friend group still alive, Charles CRIES with them! he's emotional during Millie Carpenter's funeral and Hawkeye's eulogy! just the entirety of Sons and Bowlers, dont even get me started- he stays with Hawkeye the entire time, even when Hawkeye doesnt want him to and tries to chase him off, talks with him and comforts him and opens up to him and is vulnerable with him. the entirety of GFA and his arc there

like yeah Charles isnt always nice he has flaws he's not perfect but he's capable of so much kindness, he's so passionate, and he just cares SO much. he just doesnt show it often! he'll move a mountain for someone even if he would never admit to it! reducing him to just his negative traits is again just such a disservice to his character he's so much more than that

[triasticalwarlock]

Yandere sonic

Pair- sonic x reader

Warning- MDNI, yandere behavior, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior,emotional manipulation, manipulation,gaslighting, non-con sonic, PDA, delusional behavior, forced relationship, stalking.

Note- this is just for fun! Also, I'm still trying to correct Sonic's personality, so bare with me please.( This is the sonic from the anime! But you're welcome to imagine another version as well) Having a lot of fun with writing, might actually make a one-shot! Maybe. There are more than likely a few spelling errors I looked over, so bare with me again. This took to fucking long

For sonic, I don't see it being love at first sight. this is because sonic is level headed, calm, and it's clearly shown how he acts around new people. He's not rude of course, but it does take a bit before he gets completely used to them. That being said, it's the same when you roll around. Still, he's not a jerk, but he just needs to get used to your presence. As a animal, it can be uncomfortable for them is someone new is where they normally hang out at, even if they don't show it, it's still there.

So, even when he does get used to you, it'll be a lot different. He'll actually start to go up to you and talk, not like he didn't before, but he enjoys it a lot more now. Not that anyone could notice. They just think it's the same ol sonic.

Now, up to the things that'll make him like you a lot more(maybe not in a healthy way): it could be a lot of things, maybe it was the way you were able to keep up with him, not speed wise. But his attitude. When ever he starts to wise up, getting cocky, you challenge him. He says how he's the fastest thing on earth, you say how shadow beat him that one time, and that there are millions of other universes out there. And you do it in the same cocky tone he speaks about in. Or how you always protect and care for his friends, how much you care for tails means the most to him, as much as he loves all of his friends, tails is his brother. So when he sees you patching he up after a the x tornado cashed, sonic will feel a sense of something, something he's never felt before. And dear God, when you take care of sonic is a nightmare for both of you, for different reasons; For sonic, it's because feeling you oh-so gentle touch on his skin makes him literally vibrate. While your reason is because he won't fucking sit still, but you figure it's because of him having a running craving. You couldn't be anymore wrong

Speaking of running, he will definitely make you run with him, even though you can never keep up. So he slows down a bit, not being with you exactly but a little ways away, just so he can tease you about how 'your almost there!' and when you scowl at him as he grins and Snickers. Kinda like in the first episode, where he's running backwards in front of team S, playing with them

Also, he gets unbelievably clingy, like, unreasonably clingy. when ever he's sleeping, or trying to sleep. If you walk by, he has no problem grabbing your wrist and pulling you on him. Even if your taller. He does not care, if he wants to cuddle, he will get those god damn cuddles. He will force your head to the nape of his neck, put his head on yours, and trap you with his arms. Normally, sonic would never do this, but the desperate need to now if your ok is a lot stronger than his shame for not giving you personal space. With sonic, you personal space is his personal space. You share bubbles

If your shorter than him, than good luck, cause he will use you as a arm rest. Tease you, pick you up like a rag doll, and all with that signature smug smirk. And it gives him an advantage to trap you to, when ever you try to get up from a cuddle, he'll pull you back. Curling above you as you whine about wanting to get up. He chuck, putting all of his body weight on top of you. Teasing you about how ' what are going to do about it?' And as you whine, and huff and puff. He will not move.

Now, if you get up for another reason, like going outside, or getting his friends. And that's when his more... Concerning side shows. He literally can not function when you out of his sight, his anxiety and possessivnes getting the best of him, he'll always run off to find you. The discomfort of you not there is unbearable. so when you try to leave his sight willingly. He panics, and uses the best trick in the book, manipulation.

" but i don't want you to get hurt! Eggman's been stepping it up lately, who knows what he'll do to you if he captures you! And more than likely, he'll use you as bait, and maybe we could get hurt trying to save you, there's no telling what Eggman's got planned. And you can never be to careful."

" And if your with me, you will never get hurt, no one will! So why don't you came back, and cuddle with me again."

Yea, it's really bad. And note how it wasn't a question, the last one. Even if you disagree, sonic will force you back to bed, saying how you've been overworking a lot lately anyway, and that what a better way to relax than to cuddle with your 'friend' sonic. He'll force you under him, curling above you as he keeps on saying it's so you, and your friends won't get hurt. But at this moment, he could care less about his friends, he just cared about you. But from your point of view, your scared about what he's doing. And how for just being a hedgehog, speed wasn't the only thing going for him, it was strength to. You never expected this, you thought back to the hedgehog you were talking to not even 10 minutes ago. Your best friend, the one that would lend a hand, the shoulder you could cry on. Was not who you were looking at, this was someone else.

Now, if you go back to him without a fuss, it will be a lot better! He'll pull you back to him, laying down with you. And will go back to talking, like you weren't just trying to leave him (in his thoughts). Speaking of his thoughts, in both instances. The one thing he will be thinking is; ' why are you trying to leave me?" And while on the outside he looks unbelievably calm. But on the inside he's freaking out, scared, and worried for what he did that would make you want to leave. Was it something he said? Something he did? Did someone tell you something about him? Who was it? Lover's quarrel? Ah, that had to be it.

He's so delusional that he won't even ask you to be his girlfriend, assuming that you guys are already in a relationship. So when you try to tell him that it's not true, he'll act like you're the crazy one

"you uh, feeling ok baby? Don't know how you could forget that we're in a relationship, but that's okay! I'll let it slide. This time"

" y/n, for the last time! It's okay that you forgot, I'll make you remember."

This guy has the biggest ego in the sonic universe, so he'll automatically assume, that again, your in a relationship. I mean, it doesn't matter if he asks or not; he saves you, is there for you, protects you, stands up for you, traps you from harm, feeds you, cuddles with you, and so much more! What's the point in asking?

And besides, he loves you so much more than those other. Things. You should be grateful he looks your way!

But, even though he'll save you from harm. Sometimes, he's the one that puts you in it just to impress you, only you. He'll never let you actually get hurt, just captured. And he'll save the day by swooping in at the last second. Getting your praise is one of the most important things in his life, something he couldn't possibly live without, something truly out of this world, or, universe.

And when ever your out, oh boy. Be prepared because he does not hold back, he'll always be touching you, it's so he nows you're still okay! You're not hurt. And he won't be subtle, he does not give two fucks about what other people think; He'll wrap his arms around your waist from behind as your looking at something, hold your hand, wrap his arm around your neck, kiss your cheek, forehead, and nose. Once again, he doesn't give a flying fuck.

He's also stupidly overprotective. He'll follow you around, and it's not like you could catch him at the corner of your eye or run from him. He's the fastest thing alive! And he's not stalking you! He's simply protecting you, wouldn't want Eggman to steal you away! Now would we?

There's not many things that sonic will lose his cool over, he's probably one of the most chill people you will ever meet. But, that doesn't mean he'd never go apeshit. And one of these things are people, people talking to you. Why are they around you? They shouldn't even be breathing the same air as you. He sees people that you talk to as a threat, even if their the least threatening person on the planet. He doesn't care, and he will gladly scare them away. Without you knowing of course, all he has to do; is look at them in the eye from behind you, glow dark, Make his eyes white, and bam! Their running off. But no one else sees this of course! He wouldn't want to ruin his reputation, now would he?

And when you two are alone, he'll plant doubts in your head about your friend or friends. Making you eventually believe that their not a good person, and it always works. He won't stop until it does.

" I don't really like this Joseph guy y/n, he's tried to hurt people in the past. What do you mean I'm lying? I've seen him do it in person! What makes you think that I haven't? I stopped him from doing it before, and I'll stop him from doing it again!"

A sigh, "i'm sorry y/n, it's just-i don't want you to get hurt, please understand that I'm only trying to help and protect you. And by doing that, I'm warning you of this guy before he does something."

" are you sure about this? I'm not so sure you should go out with her tonight y/n, or any other nights. What I mean is that she's not a good person, she manipulates people. I've heard she doing it! Why do you think I wasn't to happy with being 'introduced' to her by you?"

And even with all the lies, he truly feels like he isn't hurting you, he genuinely believes that he is just protecting you. He's not intentionally isolating you, nor will he call it that. He's just protecting you from the dangers of this fucked up world, and if he wants to shelter you. He will

But, even after all he's put you through, remember. He'll " always love you!"

[vazanni]

The wonderful thing about LBFAD to me is the subversion of the tropes that you usually only get in fanfiction and the fact that it doesn’t drag and it’s not over the top.

We have enemies to lovers, but with a clever twist that the female lead doesn’t know that it’s enemies-to-lovers for about the first third of the show.

We have slow burn, but it doesn’t drag so much that you lose interest and there’s this shimmering attraction and chemistry from the 2nd episode on.

We have misunderstandings but they don’t last for more than 1-2 episodes because DFQC and XLH actually do have good reasons for those misunderstanding and conflicts considering their positions and how new they’re both to the feelings. And they both think about their feelings and each other’s feelings and try to figure it out, instead of just acting out of stubbornness and anger. And, yes, they can both be petty and unreasonable and jealous, but they never purposefully hurt each other because of it.

We have ‘I would break up with you to save you’ but it’s written so well, that it doesn’t seem like a completely stupid selfish decision AND the best part – the other person doesn’t buy it.

And all those tropes and subversions, they don’t drag. My problem with many Asian drama, especially cdrama, is that suffering is kind of fetishized for my taste? Like it goes on and on and on, and the few moments of happiness aren’t enough to make up for it. Especially in cdramas, it’s sometimes an everlasting circle of pain and love-hate where the ML and FL just keep hurting each other. To the point that I just end up thinking that they should not be together.

LBFAD in contrast is a beautiful example of gradual character development for both of the main leads. And just as their emotional awareness and emotional intelligence develop, so do their relationship.

[scoobydoodean]

ppl get mad when dean’s “love” is “conditional”

but don’t blink when others erect “healthy boundaries” and “respectful expectations”

do you think dean is expected to be this idea of perfect, unconditional love in ways other characters are not?

thx

Hey anon sorry it took me a while to circle back to this! I was trying to find a related post for you but I never found it. :(

I don't know if most people expect Dean to be perfect, but I do believe that without realizing it, a lot of people hold Dean to very unreasonable standards and don't believe he deserves boundaries of any kind—including regarding his own feelings. For example,

Dean is often demonized for not trusting people immediately after they have broken his trust (ex: 4.21, 5.02, 5.05, 6.20) in a way fandom would never demonize Sam or Cas for not trusting Dean after Dean lied to them.

Dean is often criticized for not "opening up" to Sam. Not only is Dean under zero obligation to use Sam as a confidant, but the expectation always seems to be that Dean become "ready" to talk on Sam's timeline, and anything outside of what Sam considers to be an acceptable timeline is criticized by Sam and fandom from some cringe pop psychology perspective on emotional health (2.02, 4.09, 13.04). Sam, on the other hand, is never treated as if he is obligated to open up to Dean, and the countless times he says he doesn't want to talk are immediately dismissed as normal and his boundaries are treated with respect.

Dean was criticized by fandom immediately in season 13 for not parenting Jack correctly and not "being there" for Sam. Dean was very clear that he didn't want to be Jack's mother. Dean was under zero moral obligation, at any point, to adopt Jack and treat him as a son. However, portions of fandom consistently—from 13.01—insisted on judging Dean based on a poor "parenting" performance to someone who was not his kid, and who he explicitly stated he did not want parent. Many fans did and still do criticize Dean for not immediately setting aside his grief over Mary, Cas, and Crowley and joyfully accepting a parenting role over someone he had every reason to believe brainwashed his best friend which lead to his demise. (I say all of this separately from how Dean treated Jack as a house guest).

Dean is expected to forgive Sam and Cas on their timelines (season 5, season 15) but if they are angry at Dean, any length of time they might choose to hold things against him—including indefinitely—is justified and often applauded. In fact, you would often find—especially with Sam—fans over and over cheering Sam on for "standing up for himself finally" as if every time of the dozens of times he did that, it was the first time.

Dean is very popularly demonized for not forgiving Jack for murdering his mother. Jack can kill Mary because he was "scared" or "mad" and that's fine but Dean having a single feeling about it is out of line to this fandom. (As an aside—no—I don't think soulless Jack killing Mary was an accident based on how soulless!Jack described it... but either way it doesn't matter when it comes to how Dean is allowed to feel about it.) Mere hours after the incident occurs, Dean is expected to be flowering Jack with love and forgiveness, and the fact that he didn't makes Dean a monster.

Dean is demonized for putting Jack in the mal'ak box and when the episode aired (and again—continuing to this day within the fandom) it was framed by and large as if Dean was the sole perpetrator of that act, while Sam's role was brushed under the rug or fans straight up insisted Dean somehow "forced" Sam to go along with him (despite Sam very clearly being fucking terrified of Jack). Cas, a single episode later, enquiring about putting Jack in The Cage is also completely dismissed. Nobody gives a single fuck.

Dean saying (he thinks privately to Sam) he doesn't consider Jack family after what happened with Mary. I'll make myself abundantly clear: Dean has every right to feel this way. And let's be real—if Sam said he didn't see Jack as family, almost nobody would give a fuck... which goes for everything on this list?

Which brings me to the why of this ask.

Part of the reason Dean is held to different standards is down to some of fandom's desperate need to perpetuate Dean's childhood parentification by holding him responsible for everyone in his life. Because Dean is Mr. Parentified Child, he MUST accept Jack as his child because that's who Dean is—a defacto parent to everyone in his life, destined to be treated like the universe's mommy and then judged for doing a bad job at a task he does not have the power or authority to handle as if he did have that power and authority... and if he complains he's a selfish, cruel, evil monster.

Another reason is Dean's overarching role in the story, as the narrative heart and the hearth of the house. You cannot miss, in SPN, how central Dean is to the concept of belonging somewhere—of having a home—of being loved. I've said before that Dean's love is practically regarded as a human right in Supernatural. Dean really represents the idea of being loved at all—the intrinsic human need to be loved and accepted by others.

Sam or Cas could say they don't love someone, and it would just be taken as a personal opinion with no greater weight or significance. If Dean says he doesn't love someone, that carries a very special meaning to the fans and has a very special impact on the character who hears it. And while it may hurt another character to hear that from Dean... it also is not fair, in any sense of the word, to treat Dean's love as something everyone is entitled to—to deny his personhood and autono-[gunshots]—to act as if he is obligated to force himself to love everyone—as if that wasn't deeply unfair and also literally impossible.

One of the reasons Jack instantly attaches to Dean like a baby duck in season 13 despite Dean's cold, grief-stricken exterior while Sam is standing right there being "supportive" (besides Sam's poorly-concealed ulterior motives) is that Jack implicitly understands that Dean, whether he wants to be or not, is the Winchester family house. In order to ever feel like you belong in that house—like you are in that family—Dean has to love you. Fans also understand this whether they know they do or not. They know it doesn't matter if Sam says "You're family". If Dean doesn't say it—if Dean doesn't feel it—it will never feel real. Because of this, fans feel an entitlement for Dean to bestow instant love and forgiveness on their faves in a way they would never ask that of Sam or Cas... and they also perceive Dean as aware of his unique role and often perceive him as using it to control others or make the family a dictatorship... when Dean is literally just being a normal human being with boundaries and feelings, who did not choose to be perceived in this way, and whose feelings do not simply stop existing just because of this unfair perception of him and how everyone else is tying their self-esteem to him in ways Dean has zero control over... and their needs do not trump Dean's right to boundaries and feelings as just a guy—as just a human being!

[thefirst3chapters]

Thinking about the car accident aftermath in "Teach Me Tonight" again:

Luke is understandably all over the place in the episode where Jess is sent to town. He's simultaneously buying Frosted Flakes and explaining to a skeptical Lorelai that all Jess needs is someone to "give him a little space" and "treat him like a man." Luke resists Lorelai's overreactive but not entirely unreasonable questions and advice until he responds to Jess's defiance and declaration of not wanting help by pushing him off the bridge. Then, he goes right to Lorelai as he panics about not being cut out to raise a kid (he's made a big mentality shift here!) because of having "no patience for jam hands." She reminds him that Jess isn't a toddler, but this situation is going to take work.

Fast forward to "Teach Me Tonight." The first two things Rory tells Lorelai over the phone in reference to the accident are "I need you to be calm" and "I'm alright." Rory has already buried her own reaction and is trying to put Lorelai at ease as much as she can; for not the first or the last time, she has to be the more mature person in their relationship. Lorelai demands that Rory have extra tests that the doctor didn't recommend, and then she leaves Rory at the hospital to hunt Jess down. It isn't Lorelai's intent to make Rory carry both their emotions by herself, but that's what ends up happening even though Lorelai is extensively focused Rory's physical injury. It says a lot about how Lorelai and Rory function as each other's peers and as each other's parents. The only person who will offer advice that matches the injury Rory actually has, listen to how she feels about the accident, and validate her perspective is Luke.

When Luke finds Jess hunched over on the bridge, Jess doesn't say anything about his own safety or ask Luke to stay calm. He just says, "I made sure she was okay." This is of course reflective of how much Jess cares about Rory and how devastated he is about her getting hurt, but it also strongly suggests that it doesn't even occur to Jess that his own well-being would matter to Luke. One could understand why Jess might've thought that way; Luke is openly, sometimes extremely, protective of Rory and continues to be when Rory is years older than Jess is here. He confronts both Dean and Logan unprompted on Rory's behalf. He wants to intervene when Rory decides to leave Yale and maintains a warm relationship with her even though he avoided addressing Jess's school/work situation directly until he kicked him out and later yelled at him for returning for his car. We know what's in Luke's heart here, though, because he just explained it to Lorelai at the cost of their relationship. He won't rest until he knows both kids are okay.

Luke could've in this moment screamed at Jess for being reckless with Rory, damaging property, smoking, and throwing a wrench in his friendship with Lorelai. He could've demanded that Jess be a man and stick around to repair the damage and face the wrath they both know is impending. He doesn't do any of those things, though. He sees how anguished Jess is and realizes now that he shouldn't have to be a man quite yet. Luke offers the precious comfort of immediately believing that Jess took care of Rory with "I know you did," and that's that. Of all the choices Luke could've made here, he chooses a quiet sort of mercy, so there they are in calming silence with their matching postures and green jackets and emotional repression in the same place where Luke shoved Jess into the water months earlier. Yes, there's an argument to be made that Jess going back wasn't the right way to handle this, but at the same time that choice has incredible compassion behind it.

The variety of parent/child relationships on this show is just so fascinating; it's a snapshot of families living in the same time and in the same place, and no two dynamics or perspectives on how a child should be raised are the same. These relationships are all deeply flawed and are sources of immense harm at times, but they're grounded in so much love.

[marauderonthepirateship]

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7 AND 8 QUICKK REVIEW

contains major spoilers, let's start!

how about we start with episode 7, hmm?

i must say, before the episode were released I had a theory, that alastor could make a deal with charlie and try to get her soul to(following the theory about lilith having alastor on a leash) try to exchange charlie's soul for his own BUT it did not happen, and I cannot say it's disappointing for me

as hannibal fun and an expirienced cannibalistic-joke maker it feels like a personal win to have cannibal town being one the most comfortable places in hell with cannibals being really wholesome and polite guys

and of course the diamond of the crown - rosie

she was amazing in this episode. she definitely has the vibe of this rich auntie who visits you once a year and gives the best gifts and advices. she actually gives amazing advices, that's for sure. and i love her friendship with alastor, i bet they meet every weekend and share gossips

all of us should be proud of charlie and the way she becomes leader and takes responsibility for her people. this is THE character development

here we are slowly coming to episode 8 also known as the finale of season 1!!

it was a bright culmination of all of the season 1 and it turned out amazing

but dear readers, i'm sure all of you have already watched it (maybe even 2 or 3 times, right?), so why don't i just say a few words about my favorite moments

the scene before big battle, where everybody is just spending time with other is exactly what shows how much are this lost souls now bonded. they realise they have no idea what is there, waiting for them in tomorrow and that's what make this scene

and let me just say it: huskerdust

it is a big joy to know this actually happened

i also might say that the victory wasn't easy nor unreasonable. think about the fact that nobody knew how to defeat angels is the exact reason hazbin's crew won. indeed the more power you got the less carelessness you should have.

and i'd really enjoy to share some of my highlights of this battle if I do say so

here wee goooo:

sir pentious kissing the girl he loves than heroically dies and goes to heaven. absolutely nailed it

charlie's demon form. and shall we not forget ruzzle and duzzle in their dragon form.

that absolutely iconic show up from lucifer and him in the whole battle

niffty killing adam. i'd say this is hilarious

alastor being beaten, afraid and panicked. yes, i WAS talking about it. it was important to show he can feel real emotions and fear and loss are one of them

three vees watching battle for hotel and living their best lives(i still hate val, just to be clear)

what is really natural about the battle that they don't just celebrate victory. they mourn pentious, and charlie feels guilty, but they still go on, rebuild hotel singing one of the best songs for the whole show

i am intrigued by what the season 2 has to offer for us, my dear friends and I surely will be waiting for it

now i'm just about to thank you for reading this and wish you a pleasant day!

[raayllum]

Amaya's arc (S1-S5)

On the surface, Amaya can come off as a very flawless character.

She's a total badass, she's gay and pretty, she sees through Viren's bullshit (er, droppings?), she's kind to those in her employ, she's loyal and forthcoming, she loves her nephews and her sister, and she's not unreasonable in her elf prejudice in addition to letting go of it fairly quickly. She's also Deaf / perceived as disabled (noted here as many Deaf people do not view themselves as disabled) and, in addition to being gay, that can sometimes make people overly sanitize a character due to notions of disability making someone (particularly women) more 'innocent' or 'pure' due to infantilization.

However, I've touched briefly on her main flaw of being callous and dismissive in the past, and I've always wanted to talk more about Amaya's general arc, specifically in how she grows in empathy throughout the seasons. So let's talk about it

Just a quick disclaimer: S2 will not be really touched on as she only appears in two episodes, and they mostly serve as plot set up for S3 rather than doing any real emotional work or characterization for her. Cool? Cool

Cyclical Limbo

Amaya in S1 both perpetuates the Cycle, and she doesn't. On the one hand, like Viren, she's deeply concerned with the safety of the Breach, enough so that she's willing to return to it and delegate the search mission to Gren rather than insist upon undertaking it herself.

She hates elves and considers them monsters, much the way Claudia does in S1. In spite of a lifetime of fighting Sunfire elves at the Breach, she considers Moonshadow elves to be "the worst kind" of elf, like a monolith of loathing and fear (perhaps because of their sneaky ways or associations with death).

At the same time, she's not purely an antagonistic force to anyone. Corvus, her trusted tracker, offers Rayla a deal that shows reason ("Give me the boys peacefully and I'll let you go") and, more importantly, she foils Viren's plans to be king with her entry and reaffirmation in 1x04 and 1x05. This leads to him not having the throne all the way until two seasons later, and is undeniably a good thing.

So while Amaya is an ally to the boys and an antagonist to Viren, this plants her firmly in the middle, of both perpetuating the cycle and helping to stop others from perpetuating it. We see her increased antagonism with the Sunfire elves in s2 lean along the former vein as well.

Until of course, we don't, and we get to the heart of Amaya's arc:

Seeing Yourself In Your Enemy

This is most evident in some ways in season three and season five, with season four being an effective turning point in a dual sort of way. We see this most clearly in her bond with Janai, as Amaya sees a fellow warrior in her and that encourages Janai "to do the same" over warrior's honour. The show ramps this up in 3x07, as Amaya witnesses and comforts Janai through the most devastating loss in Amaya's loss: that of a sister.

A: When I was growing up, my big sister Sarai was the smartest, strongest, bravest person I knew. When she died, I felt lost and weak without her. I hated feeling that way, so I learned to be strong alone. Stoic, strong, and lonely.

From this point onwards, her and Janai are allies in going to the Storm Spire and in fighting Viren. It's worth noting that Amaya had no knowledge of or reason to expect finding the boys when she arrived there, so she'd clearly decided to throw her lot in entirely with Janai and her troops and fight "until the last [person] standing" alongside them.

However, Amaya's expanding heart and loyalty doesn't mean all her elf related biases disappear overnight (the same Karim's reservations about humans don't), and this is where we get to season four. Much like in season one, Amaya here stands in a limbo position. She's marrying into the elven royal family, but isn't aligned with all their traditions, most notably the full significance of the Soul Candle and initially foreshadowed due to the messed up proposal dance.

Amaya is at first solely on Lucia's side, which makes sense; Amaya is more practical than not, and this is part of the reason she can make quick and fast but strong alliances and see through Viren's bullshit.

However, her old flaw of being dismissive and sometimes insensitive also comes back.

A: What do you mean 'injustice'? All Lucia has done is put out a candle. And she was the one who was burned. K: She profaned a sacred rite. What would the punishment be in the human kingdoms? A: For blowing out a candle? Usually come clapping, followed by a slice of birthday cake. K: You see? This is the problem! Like all the other humans, even your wife-to-be thinks this is a joke.

That said, it's not as though Amaya is wrong; we are, of course, supposed to understand immediately as audience members that while what Lucia did was wrong, sentencing her to death over it is also wrong and to root for her to live (even if, at this point, she likewise doesn't think she's done anything wrong).

I think it's doubly worth noting then, her speech at the trial that she gives for Lucia, and about herself:

I came here to defend Lucia, but now I see that I cannot. She is not innocent. Prince Karim is correct: she had every opportunity to consider the pain she could cause, and she did not. She was callous. She was careless. She was cruel. And in truth...

She places herself in Lucia's shoes. This is her amends to Karim for her insensitivity, and an extension of both support and consideration for the position Jana is in, as well as a plea.

But all I ask is that your justice is compassionate. Death is not the answer. We gain nothing if we throw away the chance to learn and grow.

This is, of course, a lesson Amaya has learned personally, through her relationship with Janai — first as an enemy turned friend, then as a lover turned wife — but, of course, through her relationship with Rayla, which she first hand acknowledges in S5:

But her arc with this general theme of empathy doesn't stop there. Not only is there a nice piece of irony with Amaya initially not believing Rayla's assertion that she's alone (even when Rayla arguably does):

A: 'We'? How many of you are there? R: It's just me. I'm alone. A: Liar.

5x04 gives the two women a chance to talk and reconcile beyond that, with Amaya reminding Rayla that she doesn't have to be alone, and that she can rely on the people around her. Namely, the very nephew Amaya once attacked Rayla to protect.

A: Love and trust grow a kind of strength that is much bigger than we each possess. To have that kind of strength, it is not enough to love someone. You have to trust them to share the burdens you carry.

Likewise, this scene also brings Amaya's arc of seeing herself in others full circle, as this parallel makes plain, as well as it being a parallel that Rayla is not only able to acknowledge, but it gets through to her:

R: That does sound like me sometimes. [...] Thank you.

While Amaya can still be coarse and is undeniably clever, she's softer, more open, and more compassionate than she was two years ago. Elves are no longer monsters. People are far more capable of change, herself included, her adaptability to life and its sudden swerves in many ways one of her greatest strengths. Amaya is a warrior yes, but more than that — like her friends and family, the people she surrounds herself with — she has an even bigger heart, when given the chance.

[appendectomy]

the house/cuddy relationship is also so interesting because a big part of the essence of 'doom' that the writers give their relationship is also based in direct comparison to the not-doomed-ness of house/wilson. there are so many moments where it feels to me that the writers are grabbing me by the shoulders, shaking me and going 'look!!! look at them and compare them look at how different these two dynamics are'.

one of the most obvious examples of this is in 7x09 when house is trying to get out of hanging out with wilson and going to cuddy's birthday dinner at the same time. cuddy outright asks 'you have to choose one of us,' and house replies 'i choose wilson'. apart from making me giggle, these lines also serve the very obvious purpose of not just being about where house would prefer to spend a thursday evening. it's quite blatant foreshadowing about the fact that, at the end of everything, house always prefers to choose wilson and is more capable of being there for him than he is for anyone else, including romantic partners and especially including cuddy.

the next big example of this that struck me is in 7x15 when cuddy is in surgery. this is an almost word-for-word recreation of the scenario in 6x10 where wilson went into surgery. they both want house to be there, and house struggles to show up both times. we even get this wonderful visual parallel between the two, which is something i've noticed has been talked about a little by other people on here, and so is definitely something I imagine the writers thought about too. with 6x10:

and 7x15:

the key difference between these two situations is house being sober in one, and on drugs in the other. house can be there for wilson and emotionally support him while also being sober, but he cannot do the same for cuddy. this comparison i think is such a clear communication that not only is house's relationship with wilson easier for house to maintain than his relationship with cuddy, but that it is also better for him mentally. with wilson, there isn't an anxiety that he isn't good enough for him the way there is with cuddy, and this just fundamentally fosters a better environment for him as an addict.

this says a lot about house/wilson, but it also says a lot about house's approach to romance versus friendship in general. he places so much more importance on the emotional challenges of a romantic relationship than he does platonic. he spends the whole episode of 7x15 practically agonising over wether cuddy will be ok or not, whereas he spends most of 6x10 telling wilson he's an idiot. he seems to doom himself in romantic relationships by creating so much of his own anxiety: he worries about getting it right, being the man cuddy needs him to be, doing what a good partner should, and it causes him to be unable to actually perform any of these actions without the crutch of being high. this in turn underminines the genuineness of any attempt to be better that he makes in cuddy's eyes. i don't think any of the emotional demands cuddy makes of house are unreasonable at all, but because house is such an emotionally stunted and volatile person he can't approach the very normal expectations of a romantic relationship in any sort of healthy way. the only relationships he can maintain are unconventional ones that don't have these expectations, like his friendship with wilson.

the next example, and the one that is most likely a little bit of a reach, is also in 7x15, specifically in the few dream sequences cuddy has that feature wilson. in the first, she imagines house and wilson as rachel's adoptive fathers (which i've already written a little bit about here if you're interested). then she has another dream set in a black-and-white 50s sitcom where she is the breadwinner, house is the housewife, and wilson is the mailman/milkman (not completely sure which of these he is, but he's definitely one of them). in both of these situations, wilson is the proverbial 'other woman': he takes the place of house's domestic partner in one of the dreams, and in the other he's the mailman/milkman to house's housewife, which traditionally in media is a comedic character pairing that involves the housewife cheating on her working husband with the mailman/milkman. i doubt this symbolism is really that intentional, and i don't think that it's meant to imply any sort of genuine romantic coding between house and wilson, it's probably just a couple of early 2000s gay jokes. but if you critically look at these instances, you can begin to extrapolate a sense that in house's romantic relationships, wilson is always hovering in the background. wilson is always the proverbial 'other woman', someone who's relationship with house is just as important and very likely also easier to maintain for house, just as the inverse is true for wilson as established by testimony from his ex-wife bonnie. i mainly think this inclusion of wilson in these dreams and the deliberate role he plays just serves to remind the viewer that while house and cuddy's relationship is rocky and uncertain, house and wilson's is pretty much constant and inevitable.

the last comment i have on this is about the scene in 7x23 where house crashes his car into cuddy's home. i think you can pretty easily compare wilson and cuddy situationally in this scene: house is putting cuddy in immense danger (though not actually intending on hurting her), whereas in comparison he yells at wilson to get out of the car before he does it. to me, there's an obvious difference there - a deliberate effort to endanger a person vs a deliberate effort to remove a person from danger. and in both instances, house is intentionally causing the danger. it very strikingly reminded me of the scene in 3x07 where house tells wilson to get out of their hotel room before he does something that could incriminate wilson. he specifically tells wilson 'maybe i don't wanna push this til it breaks' in regard to their friendship. house is very cognizant of not pushing wilson away completey, not squandering their relationship once and for all with his dangerous behaviour. but with cuddy, he gets to a point where he actively burns the bridge. the difference to me is sad and clear: house is willing and able to maintain his relationship with wilson. he is not willing and able to maintain his relationship with cuddy. and by comparing the two, each dynamic becomes clearer.

[imagionationstation]

I don’t know what’s going on with my brain but it has been AU gender swapping Donnie so hard the past few days.

I’m just going to fix the series in a few simple steps:

Donnie leaning heavily on April only because she’s the first other female that she’s gotten to interact with ever

Leo getting some female interaction so he sees Karai as a potential friend instead of immediately crushing and the later reveal isn’t as conflicting since they’re just battle besties

Casey stays decent and awesome without the “battle for April” plot making his character hard to truly appreciate

The brothers are more supportive of Donnie and her attempts to form a relationship with April & Donnie doesn’t have to talk to a jar of guts and mutagen because they know how secluded she’s been, so they’re more free with advice like hey, maybe don’t stalk her and just text her or somethin’, mkay?

Splinter visibly checking up on her activities in the lab throughout the series because he has no idea how to raise a female (he was counting on Tang Shen for that) but he does his best to let her know he cares by supporting her in other ways 💜🤎

More softie Raph moments with his sis so the haters in the audience don’t hate him as much as they unreasonably do

Mikey doesn’t need to change. He just gets to have some more of the “emotionally intelligent” moments that we were deprived off.

I can’t think straight with all these bubbling rewrites help me-

For anyone who cares, also my favorite tidbits:

Splinter not realizing that Donnie was female at first and the name Donatello just ends up sticking. Donnie will die on a hill that Donatello is gender neutral even though her family and friends know it’s not. It’s a topic that they just avoid bringing up

Her brothers use Dona when they’re teasing her

An explanation as to why canon Donnie’s figure is just so randomly different from her practically identical brothers

The shock of Irma isn’t as crippling because April still has Donnie as her devoted female bestie & now the farmhouse era is a lot less stressful and complicated for April and the viewers

Role model Leo still exists & Donnie has a crisis over him bonding with Karai and that creates tension for a while & Four Trap is actually Leo accusing Donnie of not trying hard enough because of that past debacle and “try harder” has clear purpose

Donnie gets an official ✨ big sister ✨ and that means that good-guy snake Karai exists in the series more as the reptilian mutant females bond

Overprotective brothers over their sister (and-)

The sister who appreciates it but there are some moments where she gets tired of them treating her like she’s not as capable as them (not true, but how she interprets their actions) and one episode decides to prove herself (Operation Break Out)

Potential for Casey/Donnie but currently undecided

Consistent “girls are so emotional” jokes that are beyond cringe but the viewers have to tolerate them anyway bc 2012 humor

Broken Foot actually having an affect on Karai since she almost took part in killing off her only sister

Donnie’s biggest fear is that her brothers will one day get tired of her because of how different she is/feels and then she’ll be alone & this fear is the main debacle that she struggles with through the entire series instead of the weird love triangle thing

It’s okay everyone I’ll shut up now and go sit in my corner bye ✌️

[crehador]

mulled it over for a while and ultimately decided i'm really digging this arajin-matakara fight, because like

the whole series has set up arajin as a piece of shit fuckhead (and i LOVE that for him) but this whole lying to matakara about wanting to be a honki people thing... is like the one thing he did not actually do

i get real rambly under the cut but tl;dr the way matakara treats arajin is the way arajin treats mahoro and that is suuuch a juicy parallel to me

throughout the whole series arajin has been not at all subtly trying to get away from these fights

could he have been more direct about that with matakara? sure maybe! but matakara was really ignoring all the signs that arajin is not who he thinks he is

which is such a delicious parallel to how arajin willfully ignores all the signs that mahoro is not into him

like. matakara built this version of arajin up in his head, with all these unreasonable, unrealistic, and honestly unfair? expectations based off some past foolishness from when they were very small children. he's clinging to this version of arajin that only exists in his head and has basically shown zero evidence of existing in real life

(yes arajin shows crumbs of courage but i think the scales are tipped pretty heavily towards his I DO NOT WANT ANY PART OF THIS moments)

this fight between them was like if arajin were to blow up at mahoro like "you've been leading me on this whole time!" when obviously. lol. no she has not

she did initially! just like tiny arajin as a child had those honki people ambitions! his ambitions may have been genuine, while mahoro feigned interest in him with malicious intent, but they're same in the sense that after that initial story beat, they have consistently demonstrated that actually no what happened back then no longer applies (whether because they grew out of it, in arajin's case, or they were faking interest in the first place, in mahoro's case)

but arajin is blinded by what he wants (mahoro) and ignores the reality of mahoro snubbing him at every turn, and matakara does the same, ignoring the reality of arajin really just... being extremely reluctant to have anything at all to do with him

anyway that's the main thing i'm chewing on and loving here, but ALSO i think the story paints this parallel in such an interesting way because like

matakara is just a big sweet ouppy dog of a boy! it's so so so easy to feel sorry for him, to root for him, to think the best of him. which i still do btw, in fact this episode made me like him more than i already did

because matakara is so uwu angelboy perfect, and arajin is such a dickhead, it's easy to instinctively think oh matakara must be completely right to be hurt and arajin must have hurt him. even if that isn't the case! this doesn't make arajin any less of a dickhead, but he's a dickhead mainly for other reasons

the fact that they've been set up as the perfect epitome of the Pure Boy and the Pervy Boy tropes is just such clever framing for this parallel between them, because i imagine a lot of viewers, if told what mataakara is doing to arajin is what arajin is doing to mahoro, would be like omg wtf no my pure angel baby is nothing like that disgusting freak?

except in this case! he literally is!! which is brilliant!!! i think it adds nuance to both matakara's character and arajin's character at the same time, making it so it's not just one of them is Perfect and one of them is Wrong All The Time

what's even better is that this made sense for matakara, like his reaction breaks him out of the Pure Angel mold but doesn't feel out of character. his emotions are already running high with what happened to his brother, plus akutaro is malewife mansplain manipulating him behind the scenes, so of course he feels like he's driven towards this emotional high that leads to this blowup

the groundwork was already laid out, and it wasn't even subtle. it was right on the surface! but this episode really highlighted how matakara's way of treating arajin is so much like arajin's way of treating mahoro and how inevitable it was that things would reach this point

(there are moments, even in this episode, that are in hindsight so clearly setting up this parallel! like arajin trying to talk to mahoro during lunch, mahoro CLEARLY not interested, making viewers think ugh arajin get a clue. then matakara often IMMEDIATELY coming in to try to talk to arajin, when arajin is the one who clearly isn't interested, making viewers think boo arajin be nicer to him! like i think the show deliberately set the audience up to have those emotional reactions, and this is the moment where the rug is pulled out from under us, so to speak, where it becomes even more obvious that... wait... double standard much?)

anyway. personally my only gripe with this episode is i wished they'd done more with aniki than just pseudo-fridge him, and hope they do still do more with him in the coming eps? but kind of understandable if they don't, because it is just a one-cour show after all

the actual blowup between arajin and matakara was just. mawh, chef's kiss. perfect

[t0ast-ghost]

Season four of the boys is hitting my brain like a crowbar so I’ve got a couple more thoughts about the new episode

There’s gonna be spoilers for the episode, a bit of talk about the comics, and some only slightly bloody images, so be wary, be warned!

These are my thoughts during the first watch:

- When Butcher hit his head I actively gasped. My poor babygirl.

- I do like how they’ve made Becca meaner but essentially still her

- Frenchie. Break up with him.

- I’m glad Annie has more plot and scenes this season. I’m also glad that Firecracker is actually fucking with her. Their foundation is messy but the actual rivalry is coming together quite nicely

- “I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can’t even remember it. It’s funny, isn’t it, how people can have such different memory of the exact same thing.” Oh my god this is such a good line. Like obviously not to the extremes of Homelander but kids can and will retain things that their parents won’t even remember. They make some parts of his character easy to understand because you can see that his actions are always impulsive and unhealthy and created by the ways he was raised and the environment he’s been surrounded by

- Okay that death was so so well done. It’s so emotional for Homelander because he’s seeing how people aren’t honest or caring until he’s threatening them. I can’t even try and decipher the “I forgive you” line because it’s so full of apathy

- Hughie and Kimiko teaming up is so special to me. I need more of them.

- HUGHIE GETTING V FOR HIS DAD??? CONFRONTING A TRAIN??? Discuss??? (There’s more thoughts later)

- Hughie saying that him and A-Train would be “good” if A-Train got the v for him is so heavy. It felt like Hughie trading Robin’s life for his dads. Or for his future? Like in order to move on he has to let go of Robin and that feels so awful

- I wanna state how easily and quickly they made me uncomfortable with Firecracker and The Deep singing. How is that so unreasonably uncomfortable?

- So uh. Yeah I’m not sure I wanna touch that scene…

- THEY PUT HUGHIE IN A SCREAM CHASE SCENE

- I literally screamed when Hughie killed him omg. This is what I’m here for omg omg my babygirl

(Here’s a behind the scenes stunt video on insta)

- Tala is so fair for that but when is she gonna become apart of the boys family?

- I think Annie is going to blow up. Like I think she will do something really bad.

- YEA BEAT HER UP ANNIE… okay maybe not the best decision but…

- WHAT THE FUCK

- Fun fact Homelander’s birth that Barbara describes is how Becca dies in the comics

- UM UM UM UM UM so uhhhhhh I suspected that Sage needed to give herself lobotomies for that reason (wish I said smt goddamnit) but I was not ready for a scene depicting a lobotomy that also implied it was like sex to her?

- Kimiko and Annie hug <333

- Hughie forgave him… now kiss

- “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating anybody” YESS that’s what this is about!!! How fucking contrasting Hughie and Butchers views are on the subject of revenge and superheroes. Their situations are so very different from the comics and I like that both of them are (somewhat) healing. Hughie’s forgiven A-Train and Butcher is just trying to get Ryan safe. It’s less about killing for both of them in the show which I love

- I paused to write that before the “there’s enough here to save you too” OH MY GOD NO. No no. Nonononono. No.

- Hughie’s face when getting coffee? Mwah! Give him little kiss

- HIS MOM. KNOWS. ABOUT. V!!?? I mean. They couldn’t kill off Simon Pegg. He’s Simon Pegg! Just kidding I totally thought he was going to die. I wonder if they’ll give him the same kind of quandary Hughie originally got in the comics when Butcher forcefully injected him with V

- Perfect ending for Homelander’s visit home.

Interlude:

So I haven’t started the rewatch yet but two things about some characters of the last three episodes that actually didn’t make an appearance in this one.

First off I don’t think I mentioned this in my last post but I really like what they’ve done with Noir. It’s an interesting and corporate way to bring back the character that makes a lot of sense in universe

Secondly there’s a theory I wanted to bring to people’s attention. This video on instagram has the theory that Kessler is like Becca and isn’t actually real. Which I think is really neat. I’ll take it either way but it would make a lot of sense if he wasn’t since he seems to hold a lot of negative traits that Butcher used to have and is trying to grow from

Okay I lied, third thing cause it just got brought to my attention again; everyone who is making fun of Laz Alonso shut the fuck up. Thank you. I won’t be taking criticism on this.

Onto the rewatch:

- The first shot is of different variations of Homelander’s costume. Pretty cool!

- Second shot has two pictures of Frank and Martin working in the lab with Frank’s picture framed by a newspaper thats article makes no sense but has a lot of key words and phrases (could just be gibberish idk) the title on a separate article from the same newspaper can be read as “Drama class wins award” other than that there’s also some kind of document that’s the same kind of gibberish but it caught my eye cause it says “-orthward gay” … not sure what this means…

Camera then pans down to reveal a memo and news clipping. The memo is from Barbara to the staff and talks about how anyone who breaks the confidentiality of Project Odessa will be terminated and prosecuted. The news clipping is more gibberish with the heading “Nervous system mystery revealed” by Greg Gilmore (by gibberish I mean the first couple sentences are “Had men rose from down lady able. Its son him ferrars proceed six parlors.” And then continues on like that)

- I actually love the horror movie situation they find themselves in. It’s a creepy basement lab. The security cams go out. Communication to the outside world has been cut off. Then the devil arrives in the elevator. It’s done so well, things are set up perfectly. There’s even a sign that says “All activities monitored by video camera” and a box with the words “fire safety plan” (could be foreshadowing or I’m just connecting non existent dots)

- The picture of young Homelander with the scientists. It’s so horribly terrible and amazing

- Fudgie the whale is their last meal :(

- titties ahem I didn’t really pay any attention to the shower scene last time. That’s a terrible shower head in my opinion, I don’t like the way it sprays water- OH WAIT THE WIRM IS IN HIS SPINE????? He’s also got a bullet wound in his back. He’s also got a lot of nice freckles on his back. Oh the way Becca sits on the edge and offers her hand and he reaches to take it but grasps the edge of the bathtub instead

- Hughie’s mom seems so fucking casual in the scene where they’re deciding whether to pull his dad’s feeding tubes. She’s too relaxed and almost smiling? At least with her eyes. A lot.

- OH YEAH Gen V mentioned!

- ANNIE I LOVE YOU!!! Look at her face after she burned the president!

- Seriously though such a good Annie moment. She’s so confident with this and marches into the presidents’ office with a plan but by the end of this it’s all backfired and taken away from her. It shows just how fucking much Firecracker ends up affecting her

- I’m not going to be nit picky and go on about how Colin should’ve noticed Frenchie’s ankle because obviously he’d be checking and Frenchie wouldn’t’ve known to hide it before. But I am going to say that’s a Count Olaf ass ankle shot.

- Oh I love how it seems like almost a sweet moment between Sage and Firecracker when she says “we gotta look out for each other” but now you know Sage fully intends for Firecracker to get beat up by Starlight

- I was trying to figure out why Sage got the Deep to do her lobotomy. It’s not that Sage trusts the Deep or even likes him but I think it really is just kind of transactional for her. Like she knows what he wants and what will keep him happy, he’s the only one she’s really made a connection with other than Homelander and Firecracker, and he is not likely to want anything else from her or blab about it. Somehow he is logically the best one to do it?

- It’s great how much Annie really really doesn’t want Butcher there. And neither does Frenchie. Or M. M. Damn, my babygirl has pissed off a lot of people

- Homelander’s theme is so so good. The lone violin does something to my brain. It highlights his isolation and intimidation and fear so nicely.

- I do not know how some people didn’t know Frenchie was queer? I thought it was actually very obvious that in cannon he is bi/pan and polyamorous. Maybe that was just me…

- Just realized how this episode we have both Hughie and Homelander forgiving people. Dots connected! 😃👍 (I’m not dissecting this right now, what do you think I’m an English major?)

- I love all the Hughie and A-Train moments. There’s so much history between them and it’s so present in those moments so it’s interesting to see them have to let it go to help each other because I think they both realize that they’re both fucked up people who are trying to be good and they ultimately relate to each other in a way I don’t think either of them realizes

- Kimiko telling Hughie to let his dad die, to not use the V, is so so strangely powerful coming from her. She understands what it’s like to have V forced upon you, and to be saved by it time and time again. And although she’s now choosing it, she sees how Hughie’s dad probably won’t end up like her and will find it to be a curse

- Hughie tripping is such a loser move (lovingly) like I thought he got shot in the leg or smt but no he just trips. Like the little fail boy he is.

- I love Kimiko showing Hughie how to fight someone and protect himself and then later helping him walk away (it’s a little funny just because Jack Quaid is really fucking tall). She also gives him the motivation of ‘it’s not just about your survival, it’s about your dads as well’ she wants him getting through this and I cannot handle when the boys show care to each other especially when it’s Hughie and Kimiko

- Homelander’s need to be loved is really really really well set up in previous seasons. It’s the only thing that could control him and he doesn’t know it’s even happening for most of his life because he doesn’t know how to ask for it. The environment he grew up in wouldn’t teach him that and the environment he’s put in pushes away and punishes emotion and care. He started off wanting a family from work because it’s similar enough to the lab but no one there has hurt him yet or appears afraid of him. But as he realizes he can’t gain their care, that he can’t make a family, he leans on the fact he can take most of what he wants. But not love. Not true care.

I think eventually he begins to think there’s something wrong with him, but rather than facing that idea (the idea that he’s unlovable) he pushes harder on the idea he is perfect. He is better. Furthering his decent and pushing everyone even further away.

- Butcher and M.M’s ‘time to fill the audience in’ lines caused me to look up what an enema is. And then left the rest to my imagination. First, fuck you! Second that’s a very good device to use because sometimes not showing and leaving it to the audiences imaginations is the most horrifying (it’s their own private horror show)

- I’m looking at the scene where A-Train and Ashley catch each other and I have a feeling it’s going to play out as either Ashley betrays A-Train to win Homelander’s favour, A-Train betrays Ashley, or they betray each other. I’m fairly certain Sage knows A-Train is switching sides so I wonder if she’ll have a plan for when he gets caught.

I also have a feeling that by the end of this season A-Train is either going to die in some horrible way (maybe by Hughie, maybe Homelander, maybe Butcher even) or he’s going to betray the Boys.

If A-Train does die (pls please do not kill him please) I’m wondering how they’ll do it because his death in the comics wouldn’t make sense here and I feel like SuperSonic’s death was already an homage to that

- I wonder if Ashley’s floater will have any consequences. Like they took the time to set it up. Will Homelander comment on it later?

- The way he says “you called me squirt silly” is so so aughhh. This is probably another moment that Homelander remembers that seems so inconsequential to Marty. He was watched and humiliated all of his childhood and then he gets this one thing to himself and when someone discovers it they laugh, adding so much more humiliation. Anyway I’m um skipping the rest of this scene until Barbara shows up.

- Can we take a second to appreciate how fucking well Nancy Lenehan plays the character of Barbara. There is still so much fear to her character but there is no bullshit, there’s a lot of control in a situation where so little is available. She’s cold while still giving a kind of stern mothering vibe. She explains the situation, all the gory details as facts. Starting with “put him out of his misery” to “they were scared”, you could have left, and you were killing from the moment you were born. She knows begging will get her nowhere but she’s still very very afraid.

- Babygirl moment I will never get over. He fought for his life, he kicked and shoved and he won. How this man is alive is a mystery to me but I’m so glad :)

- Tala finally got to say what she wanted to Kimiko but the look on her face as Kimiko leaves is so.. unsatisfied. It’s not over between them, and maybe it hurts that Tala now sees her being kind and caring because that’s not what she got when she first met Kimiko. Maybe she still wants to get that ice cream. Probably not. Just theorizing about her character. Lemme know what you think

- The worm looks like it’s struggling. Maybe Butcher’s life is connected to its life?

- This episode is kind of like one gory scene to the next. You get Hughie and Kimiko killing, then Annie beating the shit out of Firecracker, then Butcher blowing up Ezekiel, and then you’re back to Homelander’s whole fucking slaughter, then it’s Colin beating up Frenchie, THEN it’s a LOBOTOMY, then it’s a nice little hug awwwe

- Barbara’s monologue. I can’t even touch on that. It’s too much for my brain but I’ve been seeing a lot of good posts about it.

- My heart is full after the Hughie and Annie scene. It is so full of love. Fuck OFF Dakota Bob.

- Hughie and A-Train sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-

- “You fucking dog wanker” actually Butcher its dog welder and I wouldn’t compare anyone, let alone Hughie, to him

- Hughie getting told by Butcher not to cure his dad is also really fucking sad. Karl Urban don’t kill Simon Pegg! Instead join the USS Enterprise-

- Daphne tries to get close to Hughie and he rejects her cause he doesn’t feel comfortable crying in front of his mom. Hughie stop being relatable.

- He’s really cute when he smiles. I get it. But he’s also committed atrocities. You cannot fix him. (Which man am I talking about? You’ll never know…)

Here’s a link to the first one because if you got this far I guess you enjoy me talking about this

I’ll probably continue talking about this so if there’s more you will find a link to the post here

[youngpettyqueen]

Hey, would you happen to know which episode of Mash the bit where Hawkeye pretends to be instantly knocked out by tranquilizers just to make Trapper laugh is from?

I’m trying to find it, and searching the lines from that one gifset of the scene isn’t working.

hello! I do believe that scene is from Check-Up, which is in season 3. I might be mistaken, but I’m pretty confident. if someone wants to confirm or correct me, it’d be much appreciated!

[chaifootsteps]

Still thinking about Viv's claim that she thinks both sides are in the wrong and it's bugging me enough to do a quick episode run down to see how exactly that claim stacks up. Hopefully quantifying a bit more will help see where we're actually at

Ozzies: Between episodes 6&7 Stolas gets a personality transplant and goes from calling Blitzo his 'impish little plaything' and demeaning him to being head over heels for him, calling him by his name and bowing to him. When the car drives away the camera lingers on Stolas crying, though the episode ends on Blitzo and his emotions so we'll call this one even

Queen Bee: We see Blitzo's emotions in the aftermath in the form of a self-destructive bender, but noticeably what he says to Loona is that he's upset that he'll die alone. He doesn't say anything about being upset about feeling used or mistreated by Stolas (he even says his name along with the others before he throws up)

The Circus: Retcons galore backstory about how Stolas and Blitzo were childhood friends and despite using him for sex all s1, Stolas was apparently really in love with Blitzo the whole time?? It doesn't make a lot of sense but go with it. Episode ends with a song where Stolas not only implies Blitzo was somehow lying to him this whole time (Genius.com contributor suggests Stolas believed Blitzo actually loved him, which seems the obvious interpretation of these lyrics) but also makes him out to be a weak victim. He shows no guilt whatsoever for the part he played in making Blitzo feel degraded and used.

What’s between you and I Just a comfortable lie I’m the fool who believes When you look in my eyes

Seeing Stars: Stolas being framed as badass while he's choking his butler and it not being remotely bad on his part that he continues to sexually accost Blitzo in their first meeting after Ozzie's. Any criticisms Blitzo makes of Stolas (not remembering his own spells) are dismissed by Stolas with nonsensical arguments (it's relevant Blitzo can't remember Moxxie's phone number, apparently?)

Exes and Ohs: Stolas isn't in this episode or mentioned at all

Western Energy: Text message exchange after Ozzie's show Stolas giving a non apology where he doesn't actually address the problem, literally doing a 'I'm sorry if something I said or did upset you'. Episode ends on Stolas alone in the hospital where the viewer should pity him that Blitzo didn't come to visit :(

Unhappy Campers: No Stolas!

Oops: Blitzo dismisses the notion that Stolas cares about him by using examples obviously meant to favor Stolas. He is framed as jaded and unreasonable and Fizz is the obvious voice of reason. The imp who hates royalty is called a supremacist, Blitzo is the in between who dislikes Stolas and Fizz - the one who capes for royalty - is presented as in the right

Full Moon: Blitzo again criticizes Stolas, without getting to mention anything specific from s1. He is framed as going too far and tries to apologize. Stolas acts like the deal was a mutual thing even when admitting it was wrong

By my count that's basically no examples in Blitzo's favor. And I imagine if we counted all the Twitter likes from Viv on posts favoring Blitzo we'd turn up a big goose egg there, too

Careful, now! You laid out all the facts and stated them plainly, and we know that that makes a certain subset of fans angry and scared.

Viv can claim that "they're supposed to both be in the wrong" all she likes, but it doesn't mean a thing if every other word of writing in season 2 suggests the opposite. I guess the real test will come in Apology Tour, when we get to see who's actually doing the apologizing.

[blvvdk3ep]

Fellow Travelers was brilliantly written, don't get me wrong, but I have this one nagging grievance I just can't get over. I really wish Tim was allowed to be a more angry with Hawk in episode eight.

He tells Hawk that he has no more forgiveness left in the bathroom scene, but interrupts Hawk in the middle of his apology to absolve him and tell him that at least Hawk was his great, consuming love, and the only thing that matters is that he loved him. This feels like such an unfair thing to do to his character.

The times when Tim was angry with Hawk in the show were usually more tense, high emotional moments, where he was drinking, or seeming unreasonable/unrealistic or naive in his desires due to their situation (especially his desires for more affection amidst the Lavender scare dont strike as sympathetic as they could because Hawk's vigilance is more suitable to the situation).

So after everything, with Hawk playing push and pull with Tim, continuously calling for him knowing that Tim wants something he's never planning to give him, and then completely screwing him over, I would've loved to see a slow, raw scene at the end wherein Hawk apologizes for everything he did to Tim, and Tim is at least allowed to acknowledge and respond with seriousness lacking in hysterics, naivety, frenzy, or excessive sentimentality that yes, Hawk did hurt him, Hawk didn't have the right to do to him the things he did, and yes, he was furious at him for the hurt.

Tim deserves voice and agency, and I felt like it was plowed over to make room for this sweet ending where Hawk's guilt is vanquished because he was Tim's great love, and Tim is just glad for that. Tim deserves more than to be grateful that he loved a, frankly, shitty person. I wish he had been allowed to vocalize the damage it did to him and then choose to forgive. Because forgiveness, especially of the magnitude needed for what Hawk had done, does not come easily. It's a choice, and Tim's entire brilliant character and story is about him constantly making the difficult choice. He makes the difficult choice to turn over the photograph, leave McCarthy, go to jail, forgive himself and keep loving God, to leave the church, to come out to his family, to live as an openly gay man. He made the choice to forgive Hawk and feel gratitude for his life experiences and emotions regardless of what he got out of them. But like every choice it takes work to get there. I wish Tim's inner/emotional life, turmoil, and work regarding their relationship was something we were given privy to in that scene, and I feel that this was curtailed because the only way we really could've seen this is if he calmly pointed a finger at Hawk and called him out.

And honestly, something like that is more authentic to real, consuming love than just saying "all that matters is that I love you!" Real, consuming love can exist and exists most fervently where we can look at the other person and say yes, you nearly destroyed me, yes I forgave you, I forgive you, I still hold you in my heart.

[jmdbjk]

Episode 2: Adolescence 

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

They begin by conveying how important concerts are for them. Concerts. Not performances. Concerts.

They thought they “made it” in 2016 when they booked the Olympic Gymnastics Arena for a concert. It was the dream venue for idols at the time and are amazed they are performing there and never imagined they’d have a concert that big.

During the interviews where they are expressing their thoughts about what performing during concerts means to them, we see footage of different concerts illustrating what they are trying to explain. 

Hobi harkens back to their first concert in October 2014 for The Red Bullet tour, at Seoul’s AX Korea with 6,000 in attendance. He says they didn’t care about how many hundreds or thousands were there, they were just so thankful for the fans who came to see them.

Attendance rose at each progressive concert. Their fourth concert in 2015 had 13,500 in attendance at the Seoul Olympic Handball Gymnasium, and their fifth concert in May 2016 at the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, mentioned at the beginning of this episode, had 25,000 in the audience. They were in awe at how huge it was when they first arrive at that venue, looking out at the empty seats before they began rehearsing.

They were always so emotional during their ending ments, so thankful for what they were experiencing after knowing how hard they’d worked from debut up until the end of each one of those concerts.

In the early years, the hearts of those young men were bursting with passion and to see so many fans supporting them had to be an overwhelming relief, its no surprise their emotions overflowed.

Though they finally saw their hard work being appreciated, the joy was tempered with having to deal with pushback.

One of the things I noticed that was not mentioned yet in Episode 1 was how much pushback, bullying, negativity and hate they received from their peers and other fans outside their team and company from the very first day.

Working their asses off to fulfill their dreams while being faced with all that makes it even more amazing that they stuck with it. 

It was them against the entire kpop industry. We all know how much BTS is hated by other kpop fandoms. We see it daily on the X timeline. The jealousy is real, it's destructive and it's dangerous.

BTS is untouchable now but in 2013, Jungkook was 15 years old. A CHILD! Jin was 20! BigHit had no money. There was a point after debut when they were asked to move out of the dorm because the company couldn't afford it anymore. Underdogs is an understatement, truly what the hell did they think they were doing up against all these established kpop groups, their fandoms and the big 3 companies?

Now, in Episode 2, we start to hear how the guys handled all this. For some of them, they did not handle it very well. Namjoon talks about his panic attacks and how he avoids the internet and going online during a song/album release. 

In Episode 1 we saw Hobi and Jin so thrilled and excited, anxiously waiting and monitoring online their very first album release at midnight on June 13, 2013 and for Namjoon to tell us now he can’t enjoy the thrill of that is so devastating to me. 

When an artist sends their art out into the world, it is like a living part of themselves, an extension of themselves that they lay bare to the world. The visceral reaction of panic when seeing people hate you for it…and the amount of courage it takes to ignore that and keep going and make more art to release into the world…I challenge anyone to show me they have THAT amount of courage.

And I implore you to understand the depths these guys LOVE their fans ESPECIALLY BEFORE THEY WERE BIG to keep doing it in spite of the hate.

Yoongi was incredibly diplomatic when he says “we had a lot of unreasonable controversies.” I would have said "we had a lot of total fucking bullshit that meant nothing thrown at us by a bunch of stupid butt hurt people." There, I fixed it for you, Yoongi.

They had a ludicrous amount of people gunning for them, hating them for being successful, hating them for being different. Jealousy drives people to do the most hateful things.

Jimin says, “having to deny the bad rumors was always so upsetting.”

Namjoon recieved death threats during the Red Bullet Tour. Early on they were accused of chart manipulation because they sold so many albums. This is the company had no money, there was no money to spend on chart manipulation!

They were accused of plagiarism and brought to court and were exonerated because it wasn't true.

Jimin received death threats at the end of the Wings Tour.

Being the humans that they are, with feelings and emotions, Yoongi says they and the fans were getting desperate and spiteful in the face of all this backlash and hate. 

The fan song “2! 3!” was an anomaly. It is somewhat somber for a song dedicated to fans. Most fan songs are light and cheery. But this song fit the emotions BTS was experiencing and bonded them closer with their fans and was again, another instance of the members being sincere and genuine in their expressions. 

The emotional scenes of BTS standing on stage, Army singing the lyrics back at them, waving their purple plastic bagged Army bombs, has to be one of the best memories for them. A truly bonding moment between artist and fan.

December 2016, Mnet Asian Music Awards, they win Artist of the Year. It is their first major award. Yoongi says “in a movie, the ending credits are supposed to roll at this point.”

They’ve reached the top… as they knew it. End of story... 2016? Nope.

Early the next year while they were on the Wings Tour, they were told they were going to the United States for the Billboard Music Awards. No other Korean act had ever done that before. They had no expectations for that trip. They had no idea what they were supposed to do when they got there.

It’s kinda cute seeing them prepare and wondering what to expect. They are so young and you can tell they are trying to figure out if they’re supposed to try to emulate the image of a western pop star.

When they get out of the van at the red carpet event, they all look around the back of the van to the other side of the street and see the fans screaming at them. They knew who the real fans were and they wondered what everyone else thought: perhaps people were just curious about who they were. 

Namjoon wonders how different it may have been had they, the members, been a little more culturally proficient, meaning at that time, they were inexperienced, naive and ignorant about the impact they were making. It was all a big wonder to them at that point. They were thinking “do they even know who we are?” 

Then they win Billboard’s Social Artist award, not a major award but still, it had been won by Justin Bieber for many years prior and now it was BTS’ opportunity to kick in the door. And they did. With all seven pairs of feet. Western artists began to take note and wanted to collaborate with them. The thorn in the western music industry's side had arrived in the form of this team of 7 and their fans.

Yoongi thought it was a one-off token award, but then they were invited to perform at the AMA’s. They can’t believe they’ve made it that far. 

They are soaring and going places they never imagined they’d go. Everything seemed like a fairytale, the success, the adulation, the global attention…

But it was happening too fast, their young minds, their emotional development and sense of self never had a chance to mature and catch up to their work load and the pressures and expectations their image and success placed on them. They never had a chance to stop and assess themselves personally and consider if this level of fame was something they even wanted.

Literally, they never. stopped. working. When they say "we just kept running forward" that is not a euphemism, it is literal.

As soon as one event, concert, appearance, fan meet, photo shoot, shooting Run BTS, music shows, whatever was over, it was on to the next one...from plane to hotel to venue back to hotel back to plane, to be repeated over and over.

In mid-2017, by the time they talked about resting for a while, it was perilously close to being too late. They still had the rest of the Wings Tour to complete through December. Some of them had already considered quitting. Some did not possess the confidence to endure the burden. Some of them wondered if pausing was the right thing since they were doing so well. 

They were confused by how they could be feeling like this after they’d worked so hard to get to this point.

The title of this episode is "Adolescence" and it pertained not only to the members who were just emerging from it and their careers that had gotten past the starting line and now riding an almost out of control rocket to stardom. It also was a point in time for the company trying to get its feet under it, for its leader Bang PD trying to steer this team, to figure out how to manage this worldwide sensation they'd created.

Bang PD had to learn how to deal with his team's enormous success as he watched them begin to burn out. He embraced a philosophy of focusing on the importance for an artist to have autonomy and be happy as a person which was not a thing in the kpop industry at that time. He was worried about their mental well being and their happiness. He suggested a break.

They knew there was an "end" coming eventually. End of contract, military... et al. They pondered the inability to enjoy the fruits of their hard work and that it couldn't "end" with them being unhappy.

We know in 2018 they renegotiated their contracts. 

For a group as close as they were, as committed as they were to their careers and to each other, they had to come together and discuss how they were feeling while being burned out, they had to admit to each other they wanted to quit. We don’t know the nitty-gritty details of how it went down but they worked through it and re-committed to each other and their team.

They didn’t give up and that tells me not a single one of them are quitters.

My own personal thoughts are that they recognized they needed to stop at that specific point in time and regroup. They knew enlistment was coming eventually and the typical life-cycle of a kpop group had been about 7 years when idols aged and younger ones took their place. But they'd reached places in the stratosphere that none other had before. I think they paused, recalibrated and actually let themselves seriously think of a future after enlistment that would allow them to keep up this level of success, to keep pushing boundaries...and therefore they re-evaluated what was in that contract to include things that ensured their well-being so they could grow. That new contract was set to expire this year, well after Jin was supposed to be back from the military and most likely all of them. I am curious to know what that original 2018 contract planning included...

Anyway, I accidentally rambled a lot adding extra context and my own thoughts while watching this episode.

Review of Episode 3 next…

[johannestevans]

there's a plotline in grey's anatomy where they're setting up one char as having a potentially manic bipolar episode and one doctor shows concern and says he needs to be made to rest

and another doctor goes. oh no, i'm USING this episode he's having. we need it to save a patient

and i actually really like this bc like… that thing of workplaces, and especially workplaces with high levels of burnout and exploitation of its workers whilst using the importance of their work as an excuse, absolutely exploit these neurodivergent traits

i think a lot about the ways in which obsessive traits are wanted and even demanded by workplaces in order to filter an unreasonable or unmanageable workload through one or two people, and because they're "capable" it can be dismissed as acceptable

that person isn't eating or sleeping? well, they're still getting the work done! they're handling it! they're a genius! and who else is going to do the work? how else is it going to get done? they'd need to hire half a dozen people to get this finished otherwise!

and then, you know. that person has other symptoms and indicators of obsession. people start noticing compulsive behaviours. they seem out of touch with reality. their emotions become dysregulated, or they act unpredictably

and god, that's no appropriate way to act in a workplace! that's scary and weird and embarrassing! that's not an alright way to act! don't they know they're not the only person here? if they need help, they should ask for it - if they're going to act like this, they need to go

so they're exploited for the most valuable or useful trait of their mental illness or neurodivergence, that exploitation puts them under further external stress, so that trait - both its negative and positive aspects - are exacerbated… and then they need to be disposed of

the hard work has been done, so they're not losing anything by getting rid of that person, so who cares how much that person's long term health is ruined or impacted? who cares if they can't get another job or need long term treatment? not my problem! the work got done!

and the thing about how these exploitative actions occur within systems and organisations is that like. multiple people can be involved in this process, without sufficient enough oversight or connection with the exploited person, to check in with them before it escalates

or if people DO notice and check in with them, the system is otherwise overworked or fast-paced or badly organised or anything else, they won't be able to do anything to intervene or help that person because that person can't or won't ask for help themselves

and even if they DO ask for help, that request is going to be dismissed because, hey, they're getting it done and they NEED this worker's full concentration right now! the workplace NEEDS it.

the individual worker is meant to make sacrifices

and don't get me wrong, this is a problem of all workplaces which in our current society are inherently exploitative, but for people with certain traits that make them more vulnerable to this sort of manipulation and/or who struggle to set limits or boundaries for their own sake

and higher-ups within that system might recognise that person's vulnerability or they might not - they might know it's there but still exploit it out of "necessity", out of their own reliance on that person

but the end result is so long term and potentially unrecoverable

and obvs grey's is a medical show, and this sort of exploitation is common in healthcare professions (including veterinary sciences), certain research positions, law, but my experience of it is mostly in fucking hospitality, where high employee turnover is seen as part and parcel