exasperatedoctopus

[exasperatedoctopus]

Here's my summary of the Transformers One movie:

First ten minutes:

The rest of the movie:

[exasperatedoctopus]

Me watching Heart of Stone: hmmm, something is…familiar about this…

[exasperatedoctopus]

I have concluded that all flavors of uprising in media that go violently awry are unfortunately in possession of a Hat Man. The Hat Man is only there cuz he wants to stab someone, light something on fire, or get some cash out of it, and revolutions generally do that. He is the anathema to revolts and movements that are actually trying to make good things happen. Beware the Hat Man

[exasperatedoctopus]

I think I failed the assignment

[exasperatedoctopus]

[exasperatedoctopus]

Fandom taste testing deadpan and sarcastic characters like fine wine

"Dry and... fruity"

[exasperatedoctopus]

What's the difference between a Bajoran and a Ferengi?

One cares about the prophets, the other about the profits.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Microwaving my worves

[exasperatedoctopus]

"I hope this email finds you well..."

Me:

[exasperatedoctopus]

No officer you’re mistaken, I didn’t steal that spaceship. My 100% legal and also 100% accidental AU timeline clone of myself impersonated me to further his amoral schemes

[exasperatedoctopus]

Concept: i roll into a tiny ball like a croquet-hedgehog and gyre off into the underbrush, never to be seen again

[exasperatedoctopus]

All the crimes that people commit in Eureka are a lot more understandable now that I have to fist-fight academia every day

[exasperatedoctopus]

Shout-out to this addition, I keep referring back to it whenever an alien strikes me as suspiciously familiar, it has yet to fail me

So, fun thing about Weyoun. I am A). faceblind and B). The unfortunate owner of auditory processing issues, so I—through a combination of not noticing he was the same dude every time and missing all mentions of his situation—didn’t figure out the guy was identical clones for literally the entire series.

In fact, I only figured it out when I saw a post about it a few months ago, which forced me to recontextualize every single thing I knew about him.

Yeah, that was a weird day.

[exasperatedoctopus]

If I had a nickel for every time there was a surprise child that suddenly and rapidly grew from an infant into an adult in Star Trek, I’d have two nickels, which really ought to tell you something about the state of child-centric storylines in Star Trek

[exasperatedoctopus]

I would love to get into fandom more, but, tragically, I have rabidly pair-bonded with a character outside of the Main Couple Continuum and so instead I stew alone in my little corner consumed with Thoughts

[exasperatedoctopus]

The decision to convince Kira that she’s a secret cardassian spy with surprise body modifications and an Earnest Father Figure was absolutley unhinged. Is the Obsidian Order run by Cobra Commander? Dr. Drakken?? Friggin Spy Vs Spy himself???

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know, in hindsight it’s really funny that Jadzia almost got executed for Curson’s singular crime when she’s just out and about with an Entire Serial Killer kicking around in her worm brain