#thank you for coming to my autistic rant

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Allegedly this is where our taxes go. Surprisingly, insurance is the largest area. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's insurance for people in dire need. I know, as a federal employee, my insurance is $50 bi-weekly, and the other $100 of that is subsidized by taxpayers.

Social security is a big one, too, which is good because you need to be able to survive once you're past working age or unable to work. However, many people in politics today want to eliminate this, freeing up 1.4 trillion dollars or so annually, but also leaving something like 62 million people without benefits.

The first inexcusable number here is defense. 13% of generated taxes came out to 820 billion, according to the site I pulled this from. While I understand that a large amount of that is keeping people employed, that money also goes to things such as blowing up little brown kids the world over and building planes to the tune of 3 billion real American dollars only so some undertrained idiot can immediately crash it.

Economic security programs included things like SSI and food stamps and housing programs, and totals 545 billion. This seems wildly low when you look at stats on how many people utilize these benefits (from free lunch programs all the way up to the government paying your full rent), which show that upwards of 70% of the US partakes. In the next category down, 481 billion goes to supporting vets. Which is good. But every vet I know says the VA is bullshit, so I feel like that could be better utilized in the general "assistance" category so the Fed can't waste more money.

Now for the saddest two: Education and transportation. Education gets a measly 320bil. Which might sound like a lot. But that's funding for all schools across a massive country. Comparing that number to other, much smaller, countries shows that they spend about what we do, but with a fraction of the percentage of kids. Looking at numbers alone makes it look like the US is doing great; looking at numbers of students here vs New Zealand shows they are better taken care of. There's also the issue of how that money is spent, because it's clearly not going toward a good education. I've been a teacher. Schools are full of people who don't really want to teach and are there for summers off work, or people whose husband wanted them out of the house, and they don't care if your kid can actually read or not. "Gender ideology" isn't the issue in schools; it's Kamrin, 22, who just got her degree and has decided to watch TikTok at her desk and give your kids busywork instead of actually teaching them history. So yeah, there's money on education, but it's not going where it should go and it's not nearly enough.

128bil goes to transportation. Which is why the roads are shit and there are next to no trains and you're lucky to live in a city with a functioning bus line. A major bridge in my major city is closed indefinitely because it hasn't been properly taken care of since like 2004. We don't have busses with a reasonable schedule. Parts of the city have roads so torn up it feels like you're in a country with no budget for fixing roads. I've driven on rutted gravel roads that are more comfortable.

Anyway. The clear place to cut from is military spending. We do not need to be a "superpower" globally. Most of the world thinks we're a joke for that. I understand deploying people if there's a need (and want) for it. But why the hell do we think we have the power to keep people civil? As has been told to me from people I've worked with from places like Afghanistan, seeing American troops around only instills fear and hatred. It doesn't keep the peace. It creates radicals. Invest even a fraction of that money into education, into social safety nets, into transportation, and the country would be so much better. But instead we do this cool shit where we cut from other places to inflate the military budget, so it's all fucked.

The thing is lads I cannot think of a better use for my tax dollars than feeding children. I want my taxes to give the single mother of three healthcare. I want my taxes to take care of the elderly and the disabled. I don’t care if they’re citizens or legal residents or whatever. I want my taxes to help people. Because we’re trying to live in a goddamn society. Instead my taxes go towards bombing schools and hospitals and refugee camps. Billions and billions sent to proxy wars. And still people quibble over whether we should feed children. What are we doing here. Feed the kids.

[ponkydraws]

BBC Johnlock rant;

What? A rant on a show that was popular in 2014 tumblr in the year of 2025? Yes, I’m an autistic queer 16 year old with a passion for literature and art, what else would I get up to?

Here’s a couple things that have been itching at me and I feel like I need to scream into the void seeing if anyone will listen. Yes, this is Johnlock.

Spoilers ahead, obviously.

1. Sherlock’s attraction to Molly and Irene. Now, I see a lot of fans of the show under the impression that Sherlock is attracted to either Molly or Irene, and personally I think the show made it very clear that’s not what’s going on.

Molly - Sherlock possesses the ability to mimic romantic attraction at need (see Janine), although even in those cases he won’t go any further than kissing, i.e “waiting until marriage” despite being an atheist. Molly’s attraction to Sherlock is evident from their first encounter, Sherlock seems to be aware of said feelings but actively and purposefully refuses to acknowledge them. When Molly asks if he’d like coffee he simply takes advantage of the wording of the question to reject her proposal without directly addressing the actual question - “black, two sugars please”.

He tries to use Molly as a John substitute but finds that he cannot stop thinking about John anyway, and even in that situation he makes Molly appear more like John rather than keeping her acting like herself. In The Final Problem Sherlock is forced to make Molly say the words “I love you” or she (allegedly) blows up. This is a manipulation tactic of Eurus’, where she exploits her brother’s emotional attachments. But the challenge is meant to upset Molly - not Sherlock. Sherlock is distraught because despite having a different set of emotionality he doesn’t want to hurt his friend. He breaks her casket because he is upset he has hurt his friend. And despite having only 3 minutes to make her say “I love you”, he buffers for an unnecessary long time to actually say it himself. This is because he DOESN’T mean it.

He feels bad for having to reopen a wound of Molly’s because he is not telling her the truth, he is being forced to taunt her with a flicker of hope that’s not there.

Irene - this is just my own personal interpretation of their relationship so you don’t have to agree with me but I found it quite clear that Sherlock is not attracted to her romantically. He strives to impress her. He feels intimidated and fascinated, he’s so keen on their conversations because he has found an equal and he’s testing her intellect (and she’s doing the same to him). Irene uses seductive techniques to try to throw Sherlock off his rhythm, and successfully so. Except it appears that she’s using them for shock factor, not to actually seduce Sherlock. Again; throwing him off his rhythm. He is still objectively trying to deduce her and even says “if I wanted to look at naked women, I would borrow John’s laptop” implying that he doesn’t want to see her naked, but the situation is what it is.

There’s a clear difference between Sherlock’s reaction and John’s reaction to Irene being naked. John feels exposed and uncomfortable because he recognizes the situation as sexual. He immediately looks down, either out of embarrassment, shock or because he doesn’t want to be caught staring down a naked woman. Even when she directly addresses John, he seems to make a point to look her in the eyes. Sherlock, despite understanding the motive of her method, is still viewing her from an objective perspective. He is looking everywhere, not because of attraction, but because he is trying to understand what she’s doing. When trying to deduce her, he finds that he can’t find anything out - so he switches back to John and has no trouble deducing him at all.

Sherlock is not comfortable around Irene, but he is drawn to her intelligence. He feels a need to prove himself to a fellow genius, and to detect what she’s got in return. Even Irene points out how John and Sherlock supposedly are a couple, insisting she’s right even when John denies. Later in the show, John brings up Irene a couple of times in an attempt to peak Sherlock’s interest but it still seems like John is more interested in the relationship between Sherlock and Irene than Sherlock actually is.

All of these women acknowledge either Sherlock and John’s relationship or Sherlock’s lack thereof with them

“You look sad. You look sad when you think he can’t see you.” - Molly

“Somebody loves you” - Irene to Sherlock, and looks at John, “we’re not a couple” “yes you are” & “I’m not actually gay” “well I am. Look at us both.”

“I wish you weren’t…whatever it is you are.” - Janine to Sherlock

Even John’s girlfriends acknowledge how John prioritizes Sherlock over them, i.e “you’re a great boyfriend. Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man. No, it’s heartwarming. You’ll do anything for him.”, “don’t make me compete with Sherlock Holmes” and even Mary taunts both John and Sherlock for their clear affection towards each other - “I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes” & “see, neither of us were the first”

In conclusion, Sherlock can be manipulative when it favors him and he can mimic attraction if needed, but it is not genuine. In all of these cases, the care displayed for them was directly tied to a case, as to where the affection he displays towards John is unwavering and unaffected by whether or not there is a case. Why? Because he doesn’t view John as a tool, nor does John view him as one.

John makes a difference in Sherlock’s life because he is not getting anything out of him other than genuine human connection. He praises Sherlock when he’s impressed and scolds him when he does something wrong. Sherlock, who is clearly not used to being addressed as a regular person, is obviously surprised by this behavior as displayed in the first episode, i.e “fantastic..” “are you aware you’re doing that out loud?” “Sorry” “no it’s…fine..” & “that was…amazing” “really?” “Of course it was” “..that’s not what people usually say”

John treats him like a person, he doesn’t tiptoe around his intellect worried he’ll do something wrong, no, he grabs him by the collar and redirects him when he’s not acting properly. And John is the one to uncover his flaws. Sherlock prides himself on being this genius detective whose intelligence cannot be penetrated by the weak forces of emotions - but that’s not right. He’s very emotional. Both John and Mrs Hudson are aware of the fact that Sherlock is emotional, and acts emotionally. “Not Sherlock, no, he’s more…emotional, isn’t he?” - Mrs Hudson

What emotion does Sherlock display when John gets married to Mary or talks to his commander? Jealousy. He’s obviously distraught about the whole marriage thing, so much so that both John AND Mary are aware of it. When John meets his old commander, Sherlock seems skeptical of him and doesn’t like how John is acting around him. Mary says how “he’s the most unsociable man he’s ever met” to which Sherlock replies “HE’S the most unsociable man he’s ever met? Well that explains why he’s prancing around him like a puppy” which kind of implies that John finds himself drawn to unsociable people - and that Sherlock has actively noted that trait because he does it around him, too. He also leaves the wedding early, and like Molly says, he looks sad once John is not looking at him.

Another case of emotional behavior is when Moriarty tells Sherlock “I’ll burn the heart out of you” to which Sherlock replies “I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have one”. Moriarty counters with this with “oh, we both know that’s not quite true.”

And what happens a few episodes later? John ends up in a bonfire. “I will burn the heart out of you” and then the show tries to burn John. Hm. This can also be tied to Sherlock’s previous statement of “funny how fire exposes our priorities”.

Moriarty is aware of how much John means to Sherlock and actively uses him as a tool to manipulate Sherlock. He tries to make Sherlock feel bad by telling him how many people will be upset by his death, but Sherlock does not react until John is mentioned. He tells Sherlock how his friends are in danger and Sherlock immediately goes “John!”.

In the final problem, Mycroft tries to manipulate Sherlock into making shooting him a lot easier, so he starts berating John. Not Sherlock. John. He tries to rile up Sherlock enough to get him to pull the trigger so he insults John in front of Sherlock. Sherlock recognizes the technique which means that he’s well aware that Mycroft is using his relationship with John in an attempt to manipulate him.

Romantic or not, Sherlock clearly loves and values John more than anything or anyone, even more than his own life. He would die if it meant John could live. I can easily write like 15 of these but I’ll start with this bite sized analysis. Thank you.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

We really can’t be normal about autistic people huh

“can exacerbate autism features” “more severe repetitive behaviors” “tougher time making friends” you mean unmasking?? Yeah masking is fucking exhausting and all-consuming, of course its harder without sleep?? Sleepy allistics also loose ability to give 110%? Sleepy allistics also would do worse on tests of intelligence? What the fuck

Also in case it went unnoticed, the source is called spectrum news dot org so please remember not to mistake name or branding for credibility <3

[that-cu-fan]

let me all remind you how fucking woke and inclusive captain underpants is

1, HAROLD IS LITERALLY CANONICALLY GAY. he has a HUSBAND and KIDS.

AND NO ONE HAS COMPLAINED.

2, one of the main characters is a poc (george)

3, george and harold canon have adhd (mental illness awareness !!)

4, not every character is a blonde, skinny, white person. in fact, most of the characters end up looking plus sized. really only older george and harold, seen WAY later in the books, are skinny. as a plus size person myself, that feels so nice

5, in the og books, theres no real love interest (to my knowladge). this means dav wasnt focused on making captain or krupp a lover; hes focused on the story and plot which can be kinda rare as people try to force love onto characters (yes i know he has edith in the movie but shhh shes my wife its okay)

some of them might be long shots and i will argue with these points until the DAY I DIE.

i dont care WHAT you say these make sense in my brain and make me super happy

thank you for coming to my underpant rant

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

i think currently my sexuality depends on if we’re talking like wildest fantasies or realistic goals. because ideal scenario? zach woods probably. or at least ‘decent preferably-trans men who i get along with’. but if we’re talking like Actually Dating Someone In Real Life i’d prefer woman purely because the amount of guys in my shitty english town who aren’t complete dicks is absolutely minuscule. and if you filter that through ‘i share interests with’ and ‘actually available’ it basically becomes nothing. pretty sure if you add ‘trans’ in there the list goes into the negatives. so. ya. 🙃

[x-crowmancer-x]

Been kinda down for a few days worrying for the QSMP. I'm glad investigations are happening and Big Q and others are taking the time to give the investigation the time it needs to ensure people are treated with fair wages, I'm just anxious in general. I worried that the server would just shutdown entirely and the community I love so much and one that has brought so many people together would just fade away. I dont want things to go back to how they were, I want things to improve and get better for everyone. I want to keep this community of people all over the world together and interacting with each other. I'm so excited for the future of this project, the future introduction of Filipino creators and a real chance to be seen by the world! I love my culture and am so excited to get to share it with this community that has been just wonderfully open and welcoming to people. But that's my experience looking in, there have been bad things that have happened, people arguing and fighting in posts, but I really want to focus on all the good our community has. For those out there who bring positivity with fanart, fanfic, fan theories, and positive interactions with other fans, you are so wonderful for keeping the intent of the QSMP alive :) we are here to learn and grow together and I hope we can continue to do so as the QSMP grows.

[cas-coding]

autism rant

im usually a very low support needs autistic, meaning i can handle most of my needs by myself even if they are different from neurotypical needs, but damn i forgot how much standardized tests take it out of me.

i got home from my four hour exam today after a speech loss episode while i was driving (i am a very verbal driver, so this was deeply unsettling) and could not even tolerate the stimulus of watching my favorite tv show. i eventually figured out that i could watch it if i put it on a small screen with no volume and dimmed brightness. sensory overload is a bitch.

thankfully, my family was busy today and not at the house so i had lots of time to myself. i eventually just decided that tv was too much for me and that fanfiction on darkmode would be better. by hour two of reading i was stimming like crazy (internalized ableism means i dislike stimming, despite the relief it gives me, but at this point it was worth it. stimming is good and i love seeing other people stim bc it means theyre happy or trying to feel better. i just have guilt about stimming personally)

then my family got home and all my hard work and self care was out the window. they had all been at a loud event and thus were shouting and did not realize. they turned all the lights on in the house and made me eat dinner with them, them all bickering and overlapping their words and talking about things i did not understand without bothering to clarify for me.

one thing led to another and i shutdown for about thirty minutes, which usually consists of very limited movement, fight or flight reflexes, and limited verbality (easy phrases like yes and no, not much more really). this is like a full body reboot and is always incredibly brutal for me.

i'm not really sure what my point is. i think my point was originally that my day sucked but now i think my point is that support needs vary. on a good day, i can get up and go to uni and handle thirty people talking to me at once and only get a little anxious. today, testing took most of my energy and i had to resort to basic survival instinct and, because i can usually manage better than this, my family did not accomodate me.

support needs vary and always always always, neurotypical or neurodivergent, ask your loved ones/friends/people around you if there is anything you can do to help them if they seem a bit off or tired. if one of my family members had asked that, i might have been able to avoid a shutdown and that would have been cool

[lesbianadamstanheight]

Horror classics are...classics. If something is already iconic, already has 3-5 sequels and a reboot, you've probably seen the monster and you probably know the plot. A lot of horror is in the unknown and if the viewer already knows, then of course it won't be scary!

If you want insight into the day-to-day of people in different eras; look at their advertisements and watch their horror movies. What did people want? What were they afraid of? What major world events were happening when this film was produced/released? What things in the creator's personal life could have affected their art? Having the historical/cultural context can really add a new level of appreciation for a work.

In any case, horror is such an incredibly personal genre. Everybody is an amalgamation of their own experiences and anxieties; what's scary to me, may be laughable to you. It's super reductive to boil down the entirety of a horror movie's value to whether or not one personally found it scary.

this needs to be addressed because this annoyed me. i hate when people say: "classic horror films suck because they're not scary." i need to put this in perspective. let's take a silent horror film for one; Nosferatu obviously to modern watchers won't be scary because it wasn't made for this generation or generations in the 80s either, so you won't find it scary because they're relying on tactics that will terrify the audiences who lived in the 20s. you also have to take in account that the internet did not existence to these people, so yea a lot of people today have seen some gory things and are desensitized to some of the horror shown in these classic horror films, that doesn't make it a bad horror film that you were not terrified by it.

even further back, House of the Devil is 1000% not scary to anyone today, but in the 1890s all this technology advancing was terrifying to them. like the use of appearing and disappearing on screen is very simple to do nowadays and some people won't find it scary, but for people in that era it was fucking terrifying.

The Exorcist could not be scary to modern day watchers, but they never had people from the 2000s-2020s in mind when they were making the film. they weren't saying "ooh we need to make sure it's scary to people in the future." no they knew their audiences in the 70s was going through themes of like questioning religion or being very religious.

people that say "horror movie classics are terrible because they're not scary," bother the hell out of me, and it shows me that honestly horror should be gatekept (yea yea yell at me for saying that but i don't care).

[1fish2fishdevouryourenemiesfish]

I can't be the only one who feels guilty whenever I receive a gift. Like you spent money?? on me??? I'm sorry

[plaidos]

Sorry if this is going too far with turning your inbox into the children's cartoon complaint zone, but the stuff about Grenda in Gravity falls got me thinking.

I was a teenager when Gravity Falls was coming out, and it remains one of my favorite cartoons, but rewatching it recently made me uncomfortably aware of just how much mean-spirited and offensive comedy there is throughout. Grenda as a "comic relief" character is a huge one of course, but there's just a LOT of deriving comedy from people's bodies and appearances. Plus just straightforward man-in-a-dress jokes...

There's also the fact that Alex Hirsch seems to think AAVE (or like "slang" created to be a comically heightened imitation of AAVE) is the most hilarious thing ever, but also makes sure it's always coming from on-screen white characters, as if that unproblematizes the way it's mocked? It's a CONSTANT recurring thread throughout the series.

I ended up falling off a recent rewatch for a while after hitting the episode "Soos and the Real Girl." It really hit me there with the exact way they were characterizing Soos's social incompetence and "childish" interests, oh, he's straight up supposed to be autistic. He explicitly gets obsessed with the dating sim because he likes how social interactions have predictable rules in it, unlike real life. It's hammered home *multiple* times that one of his big stated social deficiencies is an inability to make eye contact, etc. Come the fuck on. And that's fine in a vacuum, the episode ends with everyone realizing he didn't need to change himself because he could still have value as a person as long as his awkwardness was charming to a quirky chubby woman.

But all the jokes in the episode are still about how funny it is that he's socially unaware and makes other people uncomfortable or frightened. And worse, it recontextualizes the way he's used as a joke throughout the rest of the series, the way he's portrayed as stupid, as a man-child, as being abused and taken advantage of by his employer while he's oblivious to it. It's just so gross. And that's not even getting into how he's also fat and Hispanic, and he's not just mocked but *dehumanized* for comedy CONSTANTLY.

Plus that episode throws in one of the show's transphobic jokes for good measure. Isn't it so funny that you can't tell if this person in alternative fashion is a man or a woman? Isn't it funny that Soos is so autistic-- I mean socially inept-- that he openly, in public, to their face, speculates on their gender? Not like for trans people that's a nightmare scenario that carries an implicit threat of violence or anything...

And all this is absolutely not to suggest that Gravity Falls is a uniquely harmful piece of media. I know for certain if you pick any network sitcom at random, before or even since Gravity Falls, you'd find way worse examples of all of this. But it's just a bummer to now be a grown-ass fat, autistic, trans woman who can recognize some of this stuff, and realize that even the media that's most special to me thinks it's funny to be hostile to people like me, that it's not really made for me. And to recognize that it's even worse for people who are marginalized in ways that I'm not.

Anon I’m in love with you — it’s like you went down a checklist in my brain of every complaint i’ve ever had about this show. i completely, completely agree with every note here — the jokes about AAVE specifically stood out to me, especially since there’s been at least one occasion where Hirsch went on a twitter rant about how (xyz aave) is the worst, stupidest thing to ever happen to the English language (meanwhile he thinks combining the words “Bill” and “Dipper” is funny enough to include as a joke despite it being just literally putting two names together. wooow how clever and funny white people are, thank god this caucasian braingenius is protecting the sanctity of the english language from black people who make up bad new words)

also dude can’t go five seconds without putting a white person in a “cowboys and indians” style native american costume. Hirsch has a fucking major problem with the way he treats his hispanic characters & how he portrays native american mythology & culture as basically this funny stupid thing to be used as set dressing for white people.

it feels a lot like he watched The Simpsons’ (sometimes effective, sometimes ineffective) satire on racism, bigotry, and the conservative tendencies in archetypical american towns and understood that it was funny but didn’t get why and just limply recreated the jokes without the structure for it to be a satire. not that the Simpsons doesn’t fall into these same problems with racism & body shaming, but i feel like they at least have a veneer of it being “isn’t it stupid how people like Homer think like this?” rather than just “haha different culture talk funny”

and the problem is, it sucks that it’s like this because it’s so good. it feels like every time i recommend it i have to be like “a lot of the jokes have aged like milk but it’s worth it”. like i love Gravity Falls. which is why it’s important to criticise it for its flaws.

[2minutesnotice]

Why People With Mental Illness And Trauma Deserve Love

(and why Blitzø Buckso is one of them)

Grab yourself some snacks and a drink, I'll have a talk with you people who go all for the

"If you can't love yourself, you can't love anybody else"

mantra, which is toxic as fuck.

And sorry for the typos 😬🥲

SPOILER WARNING Full Moon

tw:mental illness / coping mechanism / self harm self worth / shitty parenting /abusive and toxic relationships

First of all, I'm autistic, so a lot of scenarios I'll give you will come from my experiences because it's easier for me to feel empathy that way and explain a situation.

BLITZØ IN FULL MOON

People come into my DMs and want to rant with me about him. I get it. It seems he's an asshole.

And he IS.

Blitzø has multiple character traits which are trauma coded and boy what a can of worms that is. Most of them are really hard in your face, like the fact that he can't stand his own face in pictures.

Which comes from a deep rooted self hate, which comes up in self worth issues. Blitzø had his fair experience with drugs and alcohol , even drowned himself in last to get over his shitty experience with Stolas at Ozzie's.

I'm not saying he's suicidal, but Blitzø's biggest fear is, to die alone.

Because he KNOWS how he is. That makes him really self reflected. He knows how he behaves, he knows his own coping mechanisms.

That's why it's so easy to make him mad. He's mostly angry at himself in most situations, so it also happened in Full Moon. Blitzø uses anger to get things out of people, because most people react to anger, but he's not doing it to HURT people, it's the only way he knows how to get an reaction out of people.

The reaction HE wants. Since Blitzø has no self worth he has no clue WHY people should love him. So he shoves them away and keeps them at distance.

At the same time he CRAVES intimacy. And here's the conflict. Blitzø's love language is sex.

He feels the closest to people if he can be intimate with them. And yes, even in a weird "I fuck Chaz to be close to M&M" kind of way. He is krass with his talking about sex, he over shares, he LOVES to talk about sex.

Because he's good at it. And because it gets him close to people. If the show had more time I bet we would've seen Blitzø having multiple one night stands over the time. Yes, even with his arrangement with Stolas. Because there was sex before there were feelings. Definitely.

Shitty Parenting x Self Worth

Blitzø got sold by his own father as a play buddy for a rich kid. Yes the rich kid was Stolas and it was cute, but still, rich kid.

And we all have seen, that he wasn't good at what his father made him do in the circus but what Blitzø always had, was his pride. Also, he's very good at making things up as they go. Doing that damn horse balloon and making a joke about it, shows how he is capable of selling himself still as the best, even if it isn't so.

We don't know much about Tilla, but we know Blitzø definitely had a closer relationship to her then to his father.

I know we only have two concrete scenes which show what kind of an relationship Cash and his son had, but the "I wish you were my son" card for Fizz kinda draws us the picture here.

As a child who always had to compete with a sister which was highly gifted, this does something to you.

You try to be better, at any cost. Sounds familiar?

"I'll try to be better".

But what? In what will he try to be better? I think Blitzø doesn't even know at what he will try to be better, he just does not want to lose this. But what is this?

RELATIONSHIPS

IF Blitzø would have just cared about his business, he would've walked away with the crystal. Just like that. He would've said

"Thank Satan, I thought I would lose my business,thanks Stolas, it was nice as it lasted" and he would've been gone.

But he didn't. He listened to what Stolas said but he didn't LISTEN. Because it was confusing as fuck, even as The Audience just watching it was a LOT what was said and going from

"I'll let you go" to "I have feelings for you, please stay" in a second.

And of course Blitzø would not understand that. Because Stolas could not MEAN it. Because Stolas has servants who are Imps and he called him names, a plaything and if Blitzø is anything for Stolas, at first, he's a whore.

Blitzø sold his body for a service. For his business.

They could have made that arrangement about ANYTHING. Money, another hitman service, bodyguarding.

STOLAS made it about sex. The thing Blitzø knows, the one he CRAVES, the thing he is good at, besides killing people.

But the one thing Blitzø is not good at, are words and feelings. And Stolas had a lot of them, at once. And it felt not fair for Blitzø to be cornered like that, because he had no idea what was expected from him. And then he used the ONLY thing he knows, which always gets something out of people: Anger.

That's the words and feelings he knows.

And he got an reaction, but also had to deal with the consequences.

STOLAS AT FULL MOON

I love Stolas. But he he's living in a romance novel world and there's also, trauma.

Stolas first words I had imprinted in my mind were "I always thought love could be fun". He wished for a happy family his whole life and all he got was an abusive wife and a loveless marriage.

He is a dreamer. Someone who loves the small things and he is caring. He loves to indulge in fiction, he loves telenovelas because even if there's drama, there are relationships. Something he never had experienced.

Stolas is a soft soul. But he's repressed and depressed as fuck. And that's not only because of Stella, but his upbringing and the knowledge to live in a Golden Cage. But he never voices that he has problems with THAT.

See, Stolas is a prince, he grew up with servants, Imps mostly. In a palace. Even if he despises Stella's parties, I bet if he wouldn't be an outsider in his own race, he would be the one doing the parties himself. It would do him some good because Stolas is also, lonely.

While Blitzø lived in Circus tents and tried to proof himself, Stolas had to proof that he's worthy his title as a prince. Being married, the whole heir thing, his duties.

And then Blitzø appears out of fucking nowhere, seducing him (like in his novels!), staying with him the whole night (showing him he's obviously gay), showing him he can choose, that he HAS A CHANCE to be happy.

With Blitzø.

And then we see the duet and the second Stolas sings about how he wants this to go, I knew they will fuck up. Because Stolas had played out this scenario SO OFTEN in his head, that he has so many images of Blitzø in his head that he knows this will not work out good. He has hopes and dreams but in the end, the decision falls on Blitzø.

So we go to Full Moon and Blitzø reacts... poorly. He even mocks him. And then he starts screaming and shouting and guess who else was always shouting and screaming? Guess who told Stolas his whole marriage that he's not worth anything. That he's not worth of love, that he's a failure, that his head is in the clouds and mocked him about everything he loves.

Blitzøs only way to cope with too many feelings is anger, Stolas trauma is based on anger and rejection.

But Stolas reacted so FAST. He gave Blitzø the crystal and he told him that he gives him the offer to stay, because he has feelings for him (like in his novels!) and his hopes are so high and the second he does not get what he wants, what he needs, he snaps. He's disappointed. He's hurt.

Because he wants this so bad to work.

But it can't, because they're for now reading the same book, but they're so not on the same page.

Because, and now we're getting there, they have to deal with what was said.

TRAUMA AND RELATIONSHIPS

I'm married for ten years now. My wife and I met each other 20 years ago.

I was suicidal back then, I cut myself regularly, I was depressed and had an eating disorder.

But I had friends. And I had relationships. And I loved so so deeply.

And then I got together with my wife 11 years ago. I was freshly diagnosed with being autistic, my wife has ADHD.

She also has several PTSD triggers, I have childhood trauma from living with my Mom who's an alcoholic.

And yes, I am able to have an relationship. We love each other dearly, we care about each other. We learn from each other, daily.

We have bad days, but we are GOOD for each other.

Because you DESERVE TO BE LOVED, no matter what.

In the first place is always that you're responsible for yourself. You can't trauma dump on your partner in excessive ways because that's not healthy. BUT learning to share your experiences but still being responsible for yourself and your actions, is a whole different thing.

You can love and be loved, even at your lowest.

But you have to be aware that your partner is not your therapist and that communication in a relationship, in which both parties are mentally ill, is KEY.

You have to go to the same ground, you have to explain what are your boundaries, what are your triggers but you have also to accept that the other one is sometimes not able to deal with your package.

My wife and I, we communicate DAILY. We have totally different needs. We have totally different views and patterns to deal with things. But we love each other.

Because we respect each other's differences.

And that's the homework for Stolas and Blitzø. They don't have to TO GET BETTER, they have to grow and they have to listen, communicate instead of just dumping expectations at each other.

You can't expect someone to break a pattern that is carved by trauma, just because you tell them you love them. And you can't expect that someone's listening when you push all their triggers at once.

I'm really excited how this will go. It's heartbreaking but I guess now that everything is said, they can finally be honest, without all the trauma dumping and pushing buttons.

And as I said:

You're worth of love. You're worth to be loved and you can give love, even at your lowest. Your deserve love, even at your lowest. You ARE loved.

Thank you for reading! ✨ Gold Star for you!

[breeistired]

Rafe with autistic reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, innocent reader

Tropes: kookxpogue, sunshinexgrumpy

Summary: Reader is autistic.

Bree rants: Hi! So, I am only mildly autistic, so if I get any of this wrong I am deeply sorry. ALSO, if you're reading this, please help me work tumblr, I don't know how to make a taglist or boarders. Thank you- Also my askbox is always opened, so ask me random questions, I am always bored. Before I forget, I AM ADDING THIS TO ALL POSTS, AND IF I FORGET IT @brokenwingsgalore WILL PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ IT!!! AND, if you want this to be a full oneshot, please tell me in the comments. I love you and enjoy reading!

(HOW DO I MAKE BOARDERS.)

Rafe! Who found you at his house in his party crying because everything was too loud.

Rafe! Who was about to yell at you but once he looked down, he felt soft and mushy.

Rafe! Who would continue to stare at you while you cry, not knowing what to do.

Rafe! Who finally speaks up and asks you if you need something. You shake your head no and he does not take that lightly. Instead grabbing you some water and sitting beside you.

Rafe! Who eventually finds out its because of how loud everything was and takes you up to his room. Topper whistles thinking Rafes getting lucky. Rafe tells him to shut up and you sit on his bed.

Rafe! Who would calm you down by dimming the lights and covering your ears. He thought this was childish but you seemed to have been calming down.

Rafe! Who would let go of your ears and ask you if you're okay.

Rafe! Who slowly finds out you suffer autism and your friend had brought you here to, "let loose." He would fight the urge to punch whoever that friend was.

Rafe! Who would yell at anybody who even talked near his room so you wouldn't have to panic anymore.

Rafe! Who would spend all night with you, letting you rant about your current hyperfixation just so you didn't have to pay attention to the loud party beneath you two.

Rafe! Who smiles at your little giggles and hand gestures. He hated when people would talk to him, but with you, everything you said sounded so luring. Even though you were talking about sharks.

Rafe! Who would drive you home and get your number.

Rafe! Who becomes obsessed with you after a week of getting to know you. Doing research on autism just so he could help you out like you helped him that night you met, he would've been fucking some girl he didn't like or smoke weed all night. Instead he found you.

Rafe! Who would ask you to be his girlfriend after two weeks.

Rafe! Who buys you anything you hyperfixate on. Legos? He's buying every set and listening you talk about the lego sets. Sharks? He'd buy you a mountain of plushies. Anything your autism liked for a few months or weeks, he would buy.

Rafe! Who never forced you to come to crowded places with. And if you do, he brings noise cancelling headphones or something for you to fidget with.

Rafe! Who practically almost murders anybody who says your too weird or something about your mental health.

Rafe! Who makes sure you eat all your meals, even if its krafts mac and cheese for the 5th time today.

Rafe! Who lets you sleep with him but gets annoyed when you have to put one of your shark plushies between you two. Though he would never tell you he was annoyed.

Rafe! Who ends up telling Barry random facts about the new movie you're obsessed with because that's all you talk about.

Rafe! Who loves you to death despite everything. He loves you and your hyperfixations. (maybe not the shark plushies though)

[bluebellowl]

Hello Bluebell! I LOVE your art style! It’s mesmerizing! As an autistic person, I enjoy submas thoroughly, and your content brings a smile to my face! So if you don’t mind, here’s a mindless rant about your fnaf au(I’m not even that big of a fnaf fan, your art is just that good)

None of the other animatronics are really allowed to interact with the twins, and they only us the transport when needed to move through the pizzaplex without being spotted. The twins are used to aid with the transport of of items(which is why they are so tall and bulky. Why hire staff to move work items around the place when you can use scrap to build animatronics for cheap that you don’t have to pay) they are beloved by the behind the scenes workers, and especially the engineers/mechanics. The twins are active 24/7, and can receive minor charge through their feet via the floor. When not moving people or work items, they patrol the warehouse area to ensure no intruders. Despite appearances, they love children and carry various candy/merch to give to them. When controlled by the virus, ingo acts as a lure due to his voice box, and he uses his booming voice to stun victims. Emmett is the one who catches the intruders due to his better movement. The victims are often taken to vanny, and in this state they believe they are helping a lost child find their way home. They are unaware they are dooming them to a worse fate. Both twins are semi fixable using parts you find scattered randomly around the plex and hidden details in the repair area. If both are recruited as allies they will defend you against music man and guide you through the subway tunnels to avoid detection. They get really messed up in the music man altercation, and when elesa and company come across them, the damage is too extensive to repair them both separately, so they are temporarily combined into an amalgam of both twins. They maintain their individual personalities and return to help the player in the burntrap fight. They lead the group out of the burning pizza plex. This is only unlocked if both are saved and allied. If only one is allied the other will become hyper aggressive and will become incredibly dangerous; Afton has complete control over them. If neither are rescued they wander the area under the pizza plex in search of their counterpart. They later return as enemies as you make your way down to the cellar in this version. They will ambush the player if they leave Freddy for too long. Their state is greatly deteriorated and they at this point are mindless murder drones. Anyways that’s all for now! Have a marvelous day!

First of all, thank you so much. I'm so happy you enjoy my fnaf submas AU so much >w<

And sorry for taking so long. I tend to gather asks until one day I actually answer them.

I am reading your idea with great interest, oh my~!

It's very different from what I'm imagining them as, but that's not a bad thing at all!

Using them more as working bots, instead of entertainment, is a great idea! I was wondering how they'd get in contact with visiting kids, but maybe they show up whenever stock needs to be refilled, carrying large crates and such, and you know kids! Big heavy machinery that moves stuff around productively??? Like tractors and trucks and trains??? Crazy cool to a lot of kids!! And then maybe there's an appeal of the odd ones out, the only animatronics that aren't in the stage light. Despite their tall statue, just feeling more down to earth, unlike the always locked away Glamrock colleagues.

(The actual upkeep of labor animatronics would probably be FAR more than any human worker driving forklifts, but nonono slave animatronics it is!)

I love how you think in gameplay! Imagine as the player the only media you see of them are children's drawings, fanart, stuff like that, cus since they're only labor bots they don't get official ads.

Both submas being completely out of it when under the virus works so well too! They want to serve and make people happy. They couldn't possibly comprehend that following orders could mean harming them!

I also love the idea of FazEnt not caring enough about them to invest enough money to fix them both. Why would they? Their software is one animatronic already; why not make them so in hardware too?

Enter: Jürgen!

Or it's like a robotic DID situation, one taking the backseat as the other is in control, being able to switch back and forth as needed. Another game mechanic?

If only one is befriended, I could see the other getting aggressive cus he thinks you're stealing his brother! I like to think they're super protective of each other.

[nanamissuit]

konig x autistic reader hcs?

His love - König

Pairing: Boyfriend!König x Autistic!GN Reader

Warnings: Violence?, None, Fluff

Boyfriend!König Who helps his overstimulated lover, if they need space he's more than willing to give it to them. If they want quiet he has noise canceling headphones. I don’t make up the rules!!

Boyfriend!König Who helps you understand people's feelings if you can’t read them well. “So they're upset at me because I seemed uninterested?” “Yes But I know you were trying to listen to them, Schatz.”

Boyfriend!König Who makes sure you’re 100% okay in social settings before even making plans with certain people depending on how drained you get around them.

Boyfriend!König Who gets mad at people when they call you rude because you genuinely don’t mean to be. “Your partners-” “Gorgeous and successful? I know.” “Aw thanks babe.”

Boyfriend!König Who supports every single hyperfixation and will listen to you rant about the lore behind a photo or even a video just because you seem so invested in it and it makes you smile and he loves that.

Boyfriend!König Who finds your stimming absolutely adorable. It’s one of his many ways of telling that you’re excited or happy and it brings a smile to his face to see you in that state.

Boyfriend!König Who helps you understand sarcasm. "Yeah, Meine Liebe, that was sarcasm.” “Ohh Thanks!”

Boyfriend!König Who is killing anyone that makes a rude remark that you don’t understand. “Yeah you’re soo smart.” “Thank you-” and then you heard a punch echo the room as your boyfriend just stood there and gave you a small smile

Boyfriend!König Who doesn’t play about HIS partner. No matter what circumstance he’s in he’s gonna be the nicest and sweetest person to you. “I’ll fucking kill you both the next time I see you-” “Hey, is this a bad time? I just wanted to talk about my show.” “Nein, Schatz, komm, setz dich auf meinen Schoß und erzähl mir alles darüber.” ((No honey come take a seat on my lap and tell me all about it.)) And then he’d listen to every word about that show while scolding the two soldiers still. He always has time for you, no excuses for his love.

AW THIS WAS CUTE!!! Thanks for this 🌚. ((Send more requests!!))

[brights-place]

do you mind doing a Branch x rock troll reader?

Branch dating an Rock troll! S/O

Pairings: Branch X Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry for the late post I've been kind of busy hon! anyways take the request! <33

- He met you when poppy introduced you to him since you were going to be helping him expand the structures of pop village - Branch would be confused at first when he realize he likes you - You slowly started to bond after awhile of hanging out and him learning about your genre as he told you about his back. - It's known pop Troll is extremely happy, strives happiness and seeks fun above all things which is so like them but its also true that they are prone to absolute panic when things go wrong, often overreacting in a comical way - But branch didn't have that atrribute well he had the panicking bit but the happy and fun part? that was... uhmmmm yeah no - Branch takes awhile to open up to you especially after well The Rock world tour - I mean come on! Barb was leading an world tour and all the crimes she has committed has changed his whole view of rock trolls though he is trying to welcome them slowly - This Dude Is Autism Coded you can’t change my mind! (I’m autistic) - Attempted world domination, Attempted cultural genocide, Hate crimes, Terrorism, Piracy, Malefic, War crimes, Crimes against trollkind, Mass invasion, Mass kidnapping, Serial grand larceny, Mass brainwashing, Unlawful imprisonment, Abuse of power, Conspiracy, Psychological abuse, Extortion, Minor arson, Assault and battery, Mass property destruction, Attempted mass slavery, Corruption, and Public endangerment! He has an whole list of crimes that were committed by barb

- Though after awhile of hanging around you he couldn’t help but feel relaxed and allowed you to touch stuff in his bunker

- He Let you meet Gary and you are the only one allowed to hold Gary and know everything about him. (Gary from trollstopia if you know)

- Branch enjoys how you listen to him when he rants about things

- You were so worried when he said he would drink his own sweat which you told him not too and is unhygienic

- After awhile he would notice subtle things about you and would learn more about you and your hobbies which poppy pointed out was kind of weird for branch since he never does that for other trolls a lot but him doing that for you? Poppy smirked - He fell for an ROCK TROLL! - This man was so confused and questioning himself as you were standing in front of him telling him about your new song that you wrote and were gonna preform with Petra, Romper and Rose - He was an pop troll... you were an rock troll you were different!

- Branch would listen to you about speaking about your genre and you listen about pop genre aswell - You two would do duet songs of rock songs and pop songs but if you could convince him to sing rock songs with you he would try... It turns out he’s good at it

- You teach him some Rock n Roll greetings and handshakes which he got used to

- He did the handshake infront of poppy doing the rock n roll greeting handshake with Riff and Barb who laughed and they told him where you were which made branch flustered

- Poppy stared at him with sparkling eyes squealing questioning if you two were dating which you weren’t… Yet!

- If Branch ever found something that would suite you for example some studded belts or leather braclets he would think of you and would buy it

- Whenever you meet up he would always have an gift that reminded him of you

- His love language is Acts of Service, Quality time and sometimes Gift giving

- Though he wouldn’t mind some affection from you since whenever you see him you hug him tightly

- Introvert X Extrovert type of bond!

- You are his opposite and that’s what he loves about you

- Your smile your laugh and yes you may be different genres but he loves you so much because of it.

- Your comfortable in your own shell and you help him to become comfortable with himself aswell!

- branch is thankful for you though you mainly come to his bunker then he comes to volcano rock city since he finds it hard to breathe due to well the lava and Asch along with the foggy presence

- Though he will visit if you can’t come if your sick or your doing an show

- He stared up at you when you were on stage signing while playing your guitar while maintaining eye contact with him

- After the show was done you rushed to him hugging him squealing excitedly glad he came to see your show

- He couldn’t help but stare at you with an spake in his eyes which you returned before leaning in kissing eachother with an smile on both your lips

- Barb coughed into your hand as you giggled while branch hid his face in your shoulder grumbling

- “Love you” Branch muttered as you smiled back “I love you too”

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[mrmistakemakeroywg]

how i see "The helper" episode . (i have diagnosed adhd and autism fyi: everyone is different so take what i say with that context <3 not all autistic people are like me so please understand this is more based on my experience personally)

Really weird post i know but hear me out. When i watch "The helper " i immediatly think about having meltdowns as a little kid or just any age in general wether online or irl.

^ Like if you`re looking at it like i am, you can understand why id say it feels like hes having a meltdown / breakdown because something that makes sense to him most of the time, now makes no sense at all to him / freaks him out |

| (Being unable to help people because they do not need his help which he is not used to , thus making him react way worse then most people would sense it is something very special to him Like how people will have specific special intrests or hyperfixations etc) personally i freak out and get meltdowns when my pc is broken or needs fixed and i cannot draw whatsoever for long peroids of time. )

and how you / i would immediatly feel ashamed , nervous and guilty afterwards , or just generally exhausted or depending on the person feel like a burden on the people around you.

(also for this next part yes i know this is implied to be sylvia`s idea but it still makes me wanna tear up because it hits home way too hard) and other people will immediatly treat you as a "trouble maker" that has to be dealt with , punished or pushed aside even tho its something you cant help and sometimes cant even understand .

the dialogue espeically is a gut punch for me.

"ohh.. So this is the guy you want out of town "

" i get it " he`s hurt , and ashamed of himself. and its probably a stretch but i feel like this has happened before because of how he says " i get it . " then he tries to turn it into a positive as per usual to his character writing , thats how much he loves helping people.

its his special intrest / hyperfixation <3333 so of course he can try to turn it into something fun . and the rest of the episode goes on as he Does what they asked him to. and they immediately reward him for throwing himself out of their way .

(this genuinely makes me so mad i`m sorry fuck those towns people man you could`ve just talked to him instead GRAHHHH) and how he gets super happy after FINALLY pleasing them.

hes so silly :33

also this last bit makes me angry a little

"son"

"thanks" ( im going to eat your soul stfu /halfjoke )

"happy i could help!! "

"that makes two of us " (BONUS) ALSO I WANT TO MENTION the scene where he tries to " stop " lord hater. I feel like this is him being pushed to his absolute limit to a point he tried to do something very out of character just for the comfort and relief of "doing something good" like hes reverting to the basics of "being a good guy " just to get that comfort of helping someone again.

it reminds me of that Version of himself in "the wanders" where the piece of himself that holds his trauma / what made him want to help everyone is still not inside of him yet, and he goes on a rant about how he is going to stop lord hater

"wander are you okay ?? " "im MORE then okay "

"IMMMM PERFECT !"

"Now come trusty steed , its time to stop that HEARTLESS evil doer LORD HATER ONCE AND FOR ALL !! "

"wait what-" "stop ?"

"YES! i am a good guy , and he is a bad guy. " "AND I STOP HIM ! "

------------------- HELPPPPP.... seriously tho sorry for the long rant about this episode but it genuinely hit home so hard that i have cried multipule times unironicly because of it. Reminder that im veiwing this through my own experience of growing up on the spectrum (adhd + autism specifically) not everyone on the spectrum will be the same as me when it comes to this episode. I had to get this out of my system because it was eating at my brain sorry yall 💔💔💔

if i made any typos or worded anything weird its becuase its harder for me to write long posts plus as of writing its 01:17 on my computor clock.