#tenten - mai

[missmetus]

[erumai-maadu]

HI HI my birthday is on friday so i was thinkin maybe i could write some prompts and post them on/around my birthday?? (100% stole this idea from char muhaha)

so yeah!! if you’ve got smth for me to write go ahead and send in an ask!!

any ships or characters that i’ve mentioned on the blog before are fine with me. i’m best at writing team gai and nejiten but i’m absolutely down to go out of my usual zone and write about the other konoha kids, sand siblings, senseis and/or some gaalee, shikatema, sasusaku, etc.

[a-flux-uchiha]

I’ve been meaning to post these for a while, we’re not technically done, since I haven’t done Mikoto yet, but what can you do.

From top left to bottom right, it is Dot(Grimoire), Tenten(Tome), and Mai(Archive), then on the bottom it’s Ivy(name undecided), and Kushina(Kitsune).

The top three are the focus of Shuriken, Spikes and Swords, a crossover magical girl au I’m still working on, although it is fully planned out, just not fully written out.

Kushina and Mikoto were the generation before them, so they function a bit as mentors. I'm hoping to write out some shenanigans from when they were active. I've been meaning to get around to doing Mikoto, although I haven't managed it yet. I have a sketch for her, I just have to do it.

Ivy will be introduced in a second fic, something I had been intending to do anyway, just because it's been a lot of fun working on SSS. I had been intending to just continue with the three from the first one, however...I am not active in loz anymore, and that is very much on purpose, so I'd rather not have a fic still involving that. So, we're swapping Dot out. She'll just be moving away and Ivy will take her place. Ivy will be a couple years younger then Tenten, so just a year younger then Dot.

Please ask me about this au, I love it dearly, I have so much for it.

It got Long, so design notes under the read more.

Design notes going from top left to bottom right:

Dot: Her colors were a little rough since, well, almost all of her associated colors are already in Tenten or Mai. Pink, Red, and Teal all show up in one of those two. So it was a bit of a struggle to work that out. I think it worked out alright in the end though. Her design was originally a bit more complicated, then someone noted that her design was more complicated then Tenten and Mai's, so I ended up simplifying it a bit in the final version. She does have a cape, although it's rather hard to see. I swear it's there though. The bag at her side holds her magical item, which is a book, a grimoire you could say. It holds spells and potions and other such things. Her and Tenten were designed first, then Mai, so I could work out what things the two of them had in common and make them show up in Mai, since she had the least direction as she doesn't have any particular typical outfit from her anime. If you're wondering, the golden orb is magic and yes it's fully there to hide the fingers of that hand. We don't talk about that hand. Oh yes, please note the crown as well, that blue diamond is something you can note shows up on Tenten, Mai, and Ivy. It's a sort of team identifier thing. It's used when multiple teams of magical girls are in the same area, for something like a natural disaster usually.

Tenten: I settled on that hair option after it was decided to be the superior one between it and something similar but with braids. That one's probably more fun, if very Sailor Moon ish. Oh well. Her outfit does look very similar to one of her canon ones, which of course is on purpose, although note her forehead protector has the blue diamond on it instead of the Konoha symbol. She has a thigh pouch, and the bag hanging from her waist holds her magic item, which is a scroll similar to the ones she used in Konoha. When she's transformed it holds seals for all weapons she used in Konoha, when she's not, she draws her own seals on it, and those work like normal seals where she needs to put something in to take something out, as opposed to the transformed seals, which just spawn things in for her. There's a good chance I designed her first, since she's got the easiest design. You'll notice the waist belt system thing also shows up on Kushina and will show up on Mikoto, that is on purpose.

Mai: There was no particular reason for the boob window, Mai just wanted one and thought it was fun. Which, fair. It's mostly blocked by her hand in the drawing though. She's holding her magical item, which is a binder she writes in. She uses it to keep track of things, including the kinds of monsters they're seeing and in what quantities. She's got a couple other uses for it too, but that's the big one. She's technically a support type magical girl as she does not have magic from a past life, but she does still have magic she can use. Her specific ability is to briefly slow down time. She can't use it for very long though, as she doesn't have much magic. She's got blue diamond earrings, and if you're wondering, no one can pull on them, they're actively not technically attached to her ears. Not just a design choice they're actively not attached. Grab one and pull and you're just going to pull it away. It'll reattach itself when you let go. Notes I had when designing her outfit primarily were the skirt design, the lining of the top and sleeves, the gloves length, the bag, and the presence of the blue diamonds. Oh and the boots being like that. Her hair is held back by a headband, to go with the forehead protector on Tenten, and Dot's crown and hair bow.

Kushina: Her name is Kitsune, I'm sure you can guess why. She originally did have the long elf-like ears the others do, but after she figured out she could change her transformed state, she swapped them out for the big fox ears. It doesn't really matter as long as the ears aren't human. (Editor's note, here I realized while looking at my Ivy design that I had forgotten to do the long ears, and hurried off to fix that, this post has the proper version.) The whiskers on her face are fully because she knows Naruto had em in the other world, and she remembered his birth(and her death) soon after she became a magical girl. So there are very very few pictures of the times Kushina didn't have whiskers or big fox ears. Her magical item is the necklace, Mikoto's is also a necklace, although hers is a hawk. If you're wondering, Mikoto does have giant hawk wings, just because she could. And she should match Kushina. Kushina's actually wearing shorts under the green over dress.

And Last but Not least, Ivy: I lowkey almost forgot to draw the long ears on em. Luckily I remembered before posting this lol. Most important thing here and now: I'm going with a genderfluid Ivy! Mostly since I think it'll be fun. There is gender stuff going on with the whole magical girl situation, and while this isn't on display with any of the others, I figured I might as well get someone on board who could show off that side of this. that's mostly why I ended up picking Ivy out of all of my options for who would replace Dot. I'll just be using she when describing Ivy this time, but I'll probably switch it up in future posts. Ivy's one of the rare genderfluid magical girls who doesn't mind being active when they're not a girl, many genderfluid individuals who become magical girls are only working essentially part time. Whenever they comfortable with it. They're only found in teams of 3 or more because of that, so there's always at least two active magical girls. Actual design notes now: She's wearing kind of a variant on what she's normally wearing in the show, just without the jacket. Her magical item is Sora, although the slime only comes alive when she's transformed. Otherwise it's just a cute little plushie she carries around. She does have a fourth bag in the back attached to the belt around her waist, similar to in the show, and she can pull about anything out of those bags that she wants to. Similar to Tenten's scroll, they just spawn in the item she needs, although they are temporary. The blue diamond is on her bag strap, so still visible. Sora often hides out in the red bag, and is capable of healing large injuries, as well as smaller scrapes. Can and will eat bigger things now as well, although still prefers the potions Ivy can toss it. You will note that Ivy doesn't match Tenten and Mai quite as well as they match each other and Dot, that is on purpose, that's fairly typical for magical girl teams where one person was added later, since Ivy didn't become active at the same time as them, although they are her first team, she's technically considered a latecomer, which isn't bad. It's fairly normal for magical girl teams to switch up who's in them, especially early on when everyone is in college and early adulthood. Oh yeah you can note that her bangs are slightly off, particularly in the front, that is on purpose on her part, they look like Lattrua's.

[dark-elf-writes]

Buff TenTen:

I can’t just send you the whole thing but the whole thing. I love it dearly

But this specifically:

Guy’s dad killed four of the 7 swordsmen of Kiri and he’d be so proud that his student is carrying on the tradition.

Man would try to fill out adoption papers on the spot as she clearly is the daughter gate intended for him even if she’s not his biologically just like Lee was the son fate intended for him. Neji was not intended as he is very much Hizashi’s boy but he will absolutely still raise him now that his father cannot.

!!!

[evilkitten3]

idea - naruto/atla fusion. but it's crack

*voice over* water. earth. fire. air. long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked. only the avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. but when the world needed her most...

*screen shows the silhouette of a woman with dark red hair tied up in buns*

*voice over* ...she vanished. a hundred years passed, and my cousin and i found the new avatar, a boy named naruto.

*there's a record scratch; the camera pulls back to show naruto's legs sticking out of a snow drift; the speaker is revealed to be...*

sasuke: and if this idiot is supposed to save us, we're screwed.

---

Starring:

Uzumaki Naruto, as the Avatar

Uchiha Sasuke, as the World's Angriest Waterbender

Uchiha Shisui, as Guy With Stick

Haruno Sakura, as the Greatest Earthbender of All Time (or possibly just someone who's really, REALLY good at hitting stuff)

Hyuuga Hinata, as the Banished Prince(ss)

Hyuuga Neji, as Beleaguered Chaperone/Firebending Teacher

Hyuuga Hiashi, as Fire Lord

Hyuuga Hizashi, as Sad Backstory Dead Guy

Hyuuga Hanabi, as Tiny Princess Murder Machine

Tenten, as Knife Girl

Rock Lee, as The Fast And The Flippyous (no this is not bc of the name i only just realized that as i was typing this)

Uchiha Itachi, as Sad Backstory Dead Guy 2 Electric Boogaloo (kya. he's kya. i refuse to deprive sasuke of his brother issues)

Jiraiya, as Insane Rock King

Senju Tsunade, as Depressed Firebender Who Deserted

Orochimaru, as Man In Mansion With Sword

The Sand Siblings, as the Kyoshi Warriors

and of course...

The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox Kurama, as a Sky Fox-Bison

[sagemoderocklee]

been staring at the same paragraphs of the ballad for the last like hour making zero progress... cant focus, my body aches, my throat's bothering me, my lungs feel fucked up... dont think its happenin today

[dualityvn]

Ever since I saw the unhinged Keith doodles I just.. 👀 Like damn, I already was into Keith before but now I'm on my knees for that man - literally onw to get him a ring

Could we get a little headcanons/scenarios about how he would react and act after when MC praised him after murdering someone for them? Maybe throw in some TenTen content as well, I'm curius how he would react too! 🤭

I still find it so funny when you guys call them headcanons /nm But yes, here you are:

If you praised Keith for murdering someone, he would completely lose it. He'd repeat how much he loves you over and over, get on his knees, staring at you with eyes full of worship. You better tell him you love him too or he will go into a different, more desperate frenzy, demanding to know what he needs to do for you to love him if killing wasn't good enough. If you do tell him you love him, he will promise you that he'll kill as many people as he needs to in order to keep you by his side.

Tenebris does not kill the same way as Keith does. After he harms someone, he always expects to be scolded, yelled at, screamed at (and, like, rightfully so). So he is very confused and doesn't know what to do with himself if you praise him. He may assume you're doing it out of fear or you're in some sort of state of shock.

[rikustarlight]

Enjoy from a quick sketching session this morning on procreate

I’m just….UGH NEJI WOULD’VE BEEN THE IDEAL FATHER AND BORUTO WOULD’VE LOOKED UP TO NEJI AS A FATHER FIGURE WHILE NARUTO WAS BUSY…KISHI COPPED OUT WITH THIS ONE….there I said it with my whole chest.

As you can see, Meiten can be a bit stabby-hotheaded-pants like her mother sometimes… Their kids may mostly look like Neji but their personalities are definitely Tenten. They have their work cut out for them for sure!

Just some quick sketches of the kids. I’m missing ChouChou and Inojin but they would’ve made up the squad.

More sketches

Nejiten Kids head cannons | Nejiten Kids Designs | Nejiten head cannons

[tentenarchive]

In Defense of Tenten - the Chunin Exams' Written Test and Her Mirrors

A common joke made about Tenten is how obvious her mirror and line contraption, used to share answers with Rock Lee during the written exam, is. In this post, I'll show how her solution is perfectly reasonable and why she wasn't disqualified by the ninja proctors.

Firstly, we have to stablish what the objective of this written test is: to cheat. The written test was designed to be too difficult for ninjas of their level to be able to answer, forcing them to cheat from each other. Such is stated by Ibiki in the end of the First Phase chapters:

Next, the proctors are all higher level shinobi, better prepared and used to seeing various tricks and jutsu. It's not an stretch to suppose they're aware of EVERY cheating attempt made by those Genin, but were responsible for judging if their technique is too sloppy, obvious or ineffective.

My theory is supported by this scene, where Izumo eliminates one of the ninjas doing the test, claiming he took "five strikes".

It implies the competitors are allowed five errors before being disqualified, and one of the eliminated Genin makes it clear to the reader the "five strikes" are five times being caught cheating.

Naruto is also implied to be caught almost cheating when Hinata offers him her test answers (it can be interpreted either as Naruto being closely watched or Naruto's nerves making him think like that, half the proctors' job is to scare the Genin) and even then he is not automatically removed.

Tenten's technique may be obvious for us, as readers who have been shown by the author himself how she did it, but it's a single and successful attempt, and it's not commentated by any other characters, meaning no one caught on her besides the proctors, and they would only disqualify her if she did it more than once (which wasn't needed, she found the mole with all the answers!).

A pettier criticism i've "how isn't anyone seeing the lines?" to which the answer is very simple: manga is a visual media and the author needed the audience to understand how she was manipulating the mirror. If you take in consideration Tenten's fight with Temari in the anime - which is filler, btw, and it's up to you reading this to decide if it's a fair assessment on their abilities or not - she's shown using invisible lines to manipulate her weapons after throwing them. The lines are, conveniently, only visible when the animation needs us to understand how the weapons are moving backwards. Any other frame they're invisible.

You can see in the panel how the lines fade out towards the bottom and only show where they're attached to the mirror.

Finally: that's exactly what Ibiki expected the genin to do. There have been a few posts, specially on twitter, asking "how are you supposed to pass if you don't have a kekken genkai??". Like Tenten. That's how.

Kankuro and Tenten are the only characters which Kishimoto showed us cheating that didn't use an exclusive DNA super power. Kankuro and Tenten both use hidden threads, one uses chakra lines for puppetry and the last manipulates mirrors. They also pass their answers to their teammates, Temari and Lee.

(Sakura is the only confirmed character to do the entire test without cheating. Congrats Sakura!! You could argue Hinata used her byakuugan to cheat like Neji, but if you think she did it by herself, I will give you the pleasure of congratulating Hinata too. Congrats Hinata!)

Tenten's method was practical, and used her specific skill set: summoning and kunai work (where do you think the mirrors came from? a scroll, that's for sure). It was probably set up before the test started, during the commotion Team 7 created with their arrival. We're not shown it because Tenten is a tertiary character and Kishimoto wouldn't invest 2-3 panels of set up for a 3 panel sequence pay-off that works by itself very well. She is smart, did great and made sure her teammate was not left behind.

Tenten is not even the most absurd method used in this exam, so, as a treat, i will show you, in order, the most obvious cheats shown in the manga from least to most!

Sasuke's Sharingan If you're a ninja from the Leaf Village, you know who Sasuke Uchiha is and what a Sharingan is capable of. Unfortunally for him, the Exam is being held at the Leaf Village and all the jounin and chuunin there are from the Village. Any proctor looking at his direction in a position in front of him could see clearly his eyes and know exactly what he was doing.

Neji's Byukuugan Like the Sharigan, you can physhically see when it's activated, with the downgrade of being noticible by people sitting at up to 95º from him, as the veins are visible on the sides of his face too. A fair trade for the ability to see better than the Sharingan, even if you're not able to copy, in my personal opinion.

Ino's Mind Transfer Jutsu The jutsu's hand signal is simple and can be missed, but it's still obvious for any Konoha ninja watching, it is a very recognizable ability. There's also the higher chance of Ino being caught since she needs to do it three times (once for getting Sakura's answers, twice to pass them to Chouji and Shikamaru). Besides, the "dropping dead on the table" thing can be disruptive in a mostly silent classroom.

Akamaru and Kiba's communication Akamaru is barking all the way through the exam, and while the balloon used for the text is the one for thoughts, it's also the same used for whispered conversations up to this point in the manga. The anime makes the barks happen in the real world, and not in their thoughts, and as far as i could find, Kiba can understand dog language but there's no psychic talk between them. By the noise alone he could be caught. I think he wasn't expelled just because a full conversation between dog and human is a novel enough ability to not be considered by most ninjas unaware of the Inuzuka clan's special abilities.

The Most absurd one: Kakuro and his Puppet He put an entire guy no one knows and has never been seen in a room where all the authorities are from the same village and have, at least, a vague knowledge of each other's existence. To increase the absurdity, somehow everyone let Kankuro use his own puppet to guide himself to the bathroom. I cannot express enough how unlikely it is that, in a real info gathering mission inside a single room where all the higher rank ninjas are exclusively from the same village, Kakuro's plan could work. Most decent sensors could also catch the chakra line's signature.

I'll give it to him, making the puppet talk helps with the disguise, but it only fools his fellow attendees, not the proctors. He's too confident that he didn't raise any alarms.

But Ibiki goes as far as insinuating he knows (and has known from the start) about the puppet's existence when Kankuro comes back from the bathroom.

If Kankuro was able to finish the test and not get disqualified, even if he had what I consider the most obvious cheating attempt from the named characters shown, it's fair game for Tenten and all the other important cheaters. Besides, it's a single attempt at cheating, even if it required an entire prep work for it, so it doesn't matter if all the high level ninja's are aware, that's not enough to kick him out.

I cannot leave out the meta reasons why these characters weren't removed from the class: they're important to varying degrees to the story and they need to advance through the first phase to keep readers engaged.

Regardless of how absurd I think Kiba's and Kankuro's methods are, they need to go all the way to the fight tournament after the Forest of Death, where they have important roles to fill: Sasuke and Naruto are main characters and are prioritized by the narrative; Ino and Sakura will have an important character developments and flashbacks during their fight; Neji has an entire arc that only concludes all the way in his fight against Naruto; Kiba is the rival for Naruto in the surprise fighting tournament and he is one of the few characters able to match Naruto's silliness so he can win in a silly way; Kankuro and Tenten are both part of the two strongest cells present in the event, the Sand Siblings and Team Gai, both introduced as real threats to Team 7, and having anyone from these cells lose would undermine the narrative created around then. All of them would get through anyway.

Tenten losing against Temari in future parts of the Chuunin Exam has narrative importance too, a fight I will cover in the next In Defense of Tenten, but in short Tenten was introduced as a threat alongside Neji and Lee, her abilities and experience surpassing Team 7's. Having her lose against one the Sand Shinobi serves to show how big their gap in power is: if someone more experienced and well trained than them can't win against them, Team 7 has no chance. It's part of the build up for the future Naruto and Gaara fight, and the suspense about their real strength (since the fight doesn't exist in the manga, only the result is shown).

Conclusion: people are overly critical of Tenten because she's seen as a "lolcow" in the Naruto fandom, in part by the bad adaptation of her fight with Temari to the anime, which poisoned any feat of hers before and after it; but also because Naruto and Boruto don't give satisfying ends to any of the original female cast besides Hinata (she marries the man she loves and becomes a housewife away from the battlefield, an honorable decision i will never shit on, she never wanted to be a ninja and is a kind mother and wife, good for her!) so all female characters are seem as weak and useless when compared to their male peers. Naruto is a work riddled with undercover misogyny, never out right stated but always preventing the girls to achieve any meaningful resolution or permanent development.

That added to the ever expanding powerscalling abilities and fights make characters with simpler and down to earth abilities and feats outdated by its own universe. Knowing how big the Naruto fights and jutsu get in the future make people look down on crafty solutions like sealing scrolls, kunai and mirrors, when that is a perfectly respectable solution within the series and matches the powerlevel presented this early in the story.

Tenten is not weak, or bad, or useless. She's misrepresented by the most popular media consumed: the anime, and further misunderstood by the fans of said work. Large fandoms can be allergic to text interpretation and infighting is stimulated to the point fans of smaller characters are bullied off social media and forums (i.e. the forum where I got the list of all chapters Tenten is in is filled to the brim with comments about how OP should move the topic to "fan works" since no one would want to read about it in the canon work page, or how the mods shouldn't allow him to have a thread). I respect Tenten's feats, as well as other small characters', and refuse to be fed the same "uselessness" narrative this fandom always had, because i actually enjoy Naruto, even if i have many problems with it, and I take it seriously.

She did great.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Had to split the last chapter into 2 separate ones bc i got a bit overzealous with this one... so here’s chapter 3! may be a longer bit before 4′s ready, but  Enjoy! [tw: blood, mentions of suicidal thoughts/ death/ survivors guilt]

Ch1 Ch2

Tsunade: Enter. Kks: Mornin’. Tsunade: Kakashi. I got your message. So, Gai made it out of the coma, huh. I’ll go see how his condition is when I’m done here. Kks: I’m sure he’ll love that, but that’s not why I’m here. Tsunade: Are you looking for work? I can assign you-. Kks: More of a discussion. About the hokage thing.

Tsunade: Are you finallt giving me an answer? Kks: Yup. I’m saying no. I’m not interested. However, if there is truly no one else, I have a compromise if you’re interested.

Tsunade:It’d better be a good deal, brat. The council won’t be happy with this. You were about to accept months ago. Why say no now? Kks: Alot’s changed since then.

Gai: Papa

[gai sighs] [window sliding]

Kks: Yo. Gai: Rival!! Happy to see you! Kks: I see you’ve had visitors

Gai: Yes! I am so lucky and moved! Especially from our students! Kks: How are you feeling? Gai: Sore. Stiff. But much better than this morning. [kks hums] Kks: Sorry I took so long. Got caught up. Gai: Nonsense! I was honored to wake up to see both of your beautiful eyes first thing. You look so youthful! You left in such a hurry, you left your shoes. Kks: Yeah, had a soggy walk to my apartment. Can’t return those slippers now. Gai: How are /you/ feeling?

Gai: You seemed so overwhelmed and I couldn’t move. I feel like i’ve missed so much. Kks: I’m ok now. Just needed some air. Plus, sorted some things I’d been neglecting. I knew you’d be flooded with visitors. So, I stayed out of the way. Gai: Pretty cool response per usual. Kks: I think you’re pretty cool

Kks: How long are you stuck here? Did they say? Gai: A few weeks. Most of it depends on the physical therapy progress. My chakra network is fried. It’ll be slow to heal if at all. They’ve never treated my condition before, so the doctors are not sure what’ll happen

Kks: Did Tenten tell you about her plans? Kankuro even offered his experience building a prosthetic. Gai: Yes. She was very excited. Kks: /You/ don’t seem as enthused. What’s bugging you? you’re usually delighted by your team’s passion or whatever. Gai: I am truly touched because I know she’ll give it her all, but...

Gai: It won’t make a difference. Kks: What did the doctor say? Gai: Even if I can stand or walk, I’ll have lasting damage and pain. I’ll need a wheelchair the rest of my life. My time as an active duty shinobi is done.

Kks: You’ll get through this. Gai: What am I going to do, ‘Kashi? Kks: You’re stubborn enough. I’m sure you’ll find a way to prove them wrong. Like walking on your hands or something. You’ll be a menace in a wheelchair in no- Gai: I do not want you or my students burdened by my injury

Kks: That’s what you’re worried about? You think mourning you would have been any easier on anyone? You’re more to them than just a teacher. If you could have Dai back right now, wouldn’t you want that? Gai: Of course I would. Kks: Then see it from their perspectives. Don’t just lie down and accept this is how your life ends. That’s not how Dai raised you.

Kks: This is terrifying to deal with, Gai, It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. But please don’t give up. I won’t let you. Gai: I was prepared to die Kks: ...I’ve understood wanting to be dead for a long time. I get it. Gai: I do not regretn my decision at all. Regardless, I’ve hurt you the most. I know you’re angry.

Kks: I won’t lie to you. I am angry. Extremely. But I’ve wasted so much time pushing you away already. I don’t want to waste anymore time we have left. The only consistent thing in my life has always been you. I’ve said horrible things to you, and you never abandoned me. I think all the time about how I would have turned out if you didn’t keep me human. Self sacrifice seems to be something we have in common. Neither of us were meant to be without the other apparently... We’ve both been brought back from death. So maybe it’s...

Baby gai: You’re my eternal rival... My man of- Kks: Destiny

Kks: Strongesttaijutsu master who ever lived. My eternal rival. My man of destiny. I’m so happy you’re alive

[gai crying]

[Gai sobbing/crying]

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Most to least experienced in bed? Konoha 11 and whoever else you wanna add. Love your work 😩😩

alrighty, i switched this up a bit to avoid strange research, if you wanna see someone else/another group ranking, lmk - i hope this is up to code, and thank you for the request!!

Sex Tier List

Ranked: Konoha 11 (Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Tenten) + Sand Siblings (Kankuro, Temari, Gaara) + Sasuke

Warnings: swearing, x(GN)reader implications, we are talking about sex, uh idk lmk if something makes you uncomfy

Notes: Boruto era for everyone, and, for everyone, their Bortuo era! this request had me fucked up lowk because, canonically, these mfs got zero action without rings - so we're putting an enjoyment spin on it, worst to best, in a modern-ish au. as in, who you would have to guide, vs, who could rock your world, five times over, in one night.

Masterlist💿

Tier 3 - Passable🪙

5. Hinata

I'm not even sorry. She deffo just lies there. Never gets on top. You have to ask for anything and everything, and not even in a sexy, teasing way, more in a 'I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wooden board' way.

4. Kiba

May God love him because this man is certainly a selfish lover. That's not to say he isn't good - he's great at getting himself off, his brain just kinda shuts off otherwise. If you wanna cum, the onus is on you, because he's fuck-drunk within seconds of you touching him.

3. Kankuro

He's trying, okay?? It's just really fucking hard to keep you in mind when you just feel so fucking good. Kankuro's just inconsistent - that's the main issue. He'll try a million different positions in one session and is always unintentionally edging you.

2. Lee

Now, our darling, Rock Lee, is trying his best, honestly and truly. However, he doesn't know anything about anything, and you have to guide him every now and again. He's got the enthusiasm down, he's just not very good at translating it into pure sexual energy on the fly.

1. Gaara

He's too busy to be good at sex. When he does find the time, y'all get extra down and dirty, but Gaara's still lowkey inexperienced and the irregularity of your encounters doesn't help.

Tier 2 - Good🪩

5. Choji

Bro's got hidden talents, aight? It's a matter of him wanting to utilize them that sets Choji up. Most nights, he's chilling, but on those key few nights, hot damn.

4. Sasuke

I would've put him lower but y'all would've been mad - it's called REALISM. Sasuke would be wayyyyy too busy to put in the work to develop any actual skill in the bedroom, and he would find researching for it so far past disgusting. His good grace would be his natural endowment and prowess, but he's on thin fucking ice.

3. Tenten

Surprisingly stone top vibes, I cannot lie. She deffo gets off on your pleasure, but she's down here because she's kinda bad at first. There would totally be improvement, like obvious and quick improvement, but those first few times were pretty rough.

2. Shino

Baby boy. Sweet boy. Ugh. I love. I wanted him as number one, so I'm not even defending this. Take it up with my lawyer.

1. Naruto

He's not the main character for nothing. Naruto lays pipe, but he can get a bit selfish at times. Never fear though, the second he catches himself, lost in the sauce, another round gets added to his itinerary. He'll be making it up to you tenfold, even if it was just for a minute.

Tier 1 - Fantastic🔮

5. Sakura

With her level of anatomical knowledge, she barely even needs to break a sweat to give you a release. However, she will break a sweat, because she wants to. Just amazing, idk what to tell you.

4. Temari

Got me kickin my feet and twirlin my hair rn - she would be so GODLY in the sack. She's always very present, very attentive, but is so openly expressive in the moment. Temari would have you screaming syllables and seeing colours behind your eyelids.

🥉 Neji

The game my man's got is INSANE. I just know for a goddamn fact that no one dances the horizontal mambo as gracefully as Neji. You're pleased, he's pleased, no one's ever terribly tired or bruised, the limits are clear lines but are never even toed. That's just the reg, too! Special nights would be fucking wild, dude would have wine, and flowers, and candles - he would go the whole nine yards every time.

🥈 Ino

Be still, my beating heart. Christ. Yeah, Ino's got this shit on lock. She's a vers switch, need I say more? (I do, someone request a fic)

🥇 SHIKAMARU

Y'all seen my preferance yet, or nah?

Oh Em Gee - Shikamaru could have you, heels to Jesus, all night longgggg. The stamina, the will, the knowledge, the capability; it's all there, and no one is as apt to put it all together except for Shikamaru. He would go for hours at a time, until he physically couldn't anymore. He would know exactly what makes your timebomb tick, and he would push every button so deliciously. Fuck, he's a tease too. If you two aren't actively in the bedroom, he's trying to get you there.

[chasing-posts]

Team Gai "Needs" a Medical Ninja

I often see the talking point that Team Gai does not have a healer on their team, and that makes them incomplete/ lacking in some way. I'd like to bring up a counterpoint:

Team Gai does not need a healer, because every member of team Gai acts as a healer in their own way. Sometimes, better than any medical ninja could provide on their own.

Gai & Lee

Now one might think that these two knuckleheads are the most likely to get injured or need a healer after they fight. And it's true, these two are the most likely to hurt themselves. Both in how up close they get to their opponents, and with how the Eight Gates effects their bodies.

However, those same Gates that break their body appart, can also heal them.

Gate 2, The Gate of Healing, has been shown to actively heal bad cuts and stop the bleeding of any major wounds. Although it takes up a lot of energy, it will save them in almost any emergency situation. By Shippuden, both are able to open the gates multiple times back to back without permanently damaging their bodies (minus the 8th), so these two actually have the highest chance of recovering from serious injuries on team Gai.

Further more, Gai particularly has extensive knowledge on the human body. To the point he can make his own food pills and set any broken bones he or his kids may acquire. So long as he has the right tools, he can protect his kids.

Neji

Neji has probably the best chakra control of the group which could technicallymake him the best chance of being the team healer (although I don't think canon went with this or confirmed it). More importantly, he has the Byakugon. If he or his team got hurt, he could look inside them and see what the injury is, how its effecting them, and how to handle it

If they need to stop the bleeding, he could probably do so with his gentle fist. Temporarily stopping the blood flow and tourniquet any wound until they could see a doctor. His eyes are like having an MRI and a Xray machine with the team at all times. He could pinpoint the extent of the injury and see if the damage is to the bones, blood, tissue, organs or even chakra network. Analyzing and discovering his team's injuries would be his to and protect his team.

TenTen

Contrary to popular belief, Tenten is not just a weapons expert, she's a summoning expert. There is a LOT more than weapons in her scrolls and she could summon an entire medical tent and full of supplies at a second's notice. There is nothing her scrolls can't carry: cables, bandaids, tornaquets, burn remedies, antibodies, antipoisons, medicine, even blood bags: TenTen could have all this and more. Should anyone get injured, she could physically tend to the team or at least provide all the equipment neccessary to protect the team, should anyone get hurt.

In conclusion: Team Gai does not NEED a Medical ninja. Because every member of Team Gai could act as a medical specialist in their own way, without the use of medical Jutsu.

[a-flux-uchiha]

Shuriken, Spikes, and Swords

Thank hylia for the dear friend on discord who got me the name for this, it already was postponed two weeks because I couldn't find a name.

My dearly beloved three way crossover with my three favorite girls. All rare characters obviously but what else did you expect. It'll be posted every other Friday, so be sure to stay tuned! Please ask me about this au, I have so much random stuff on it. Please ask, I wanna info dump on stuff that wouldn't show up in fic.

[thottyimagines]

“Falls first, falls harder” but with the Konoha 12 🙈

Falls first

Naruto, who gives away his love like the blazing sun: uncaring of the intensity, expecting nothing in return, and in perpetuity

Hinata falls hard and fast, and then she just sits with it and hopes.

Oh, Shino is falling from afar, long before he ever dares to make a move.

Ino knows she's going to fall in love before she does, but she still does it super fast. Then it's just a waiting game as to when the other person will finally catch up.

Love at First Sight, thy name is Rock Lee.

Tenten falls first only in comparison to her age mates, who are all unhinged, maladapted, and intense in ways she just isn't.

Falls harder

Sasuke, who will rail against the dying light up until the very moment he accepts his love for what it is. Upon acceptance, he'd merrily burn the world for said love.

Sakura would actually take some time, but feel so deeply when it comes to really loving someone.

Kiba might not shy away from puppy love, but it takes some time for him to truly love someone. Once he does, though, he's nuts, I tell you.

Shikamaru may cerebrally know that he's going to fall in love with someone. He could embrace this, even. But it's different when he finally, really feels it. Good god, he's intense about the object of his affection is all I'm saying.

Choji is a little guarded with his heart, but once he can trust someone with it, it's all theirs.

Neji is another one who rails against the dying light, but gets Really Intense once he embraces his destiny.

[narutocharacterpolls]

SEMIFINALS

HATAKE KAKASHI vs MAITO GAI

Reasons for submission under the cut

Kakashi

relatable as an adult

he is just an overworked guy who was told to watch some kids w LOTS of issues

needs therapy

good presence and guidance in Narutos life

interesting

cares about and is dedicated to his students very much

he is just cool

he is trying his best despite what he has been through in the past

is up for having fun but still knows when to be serious

was a narcissistic shit but grew out of it

has good intentions

sexy

wonderfully complex and well developed character

incredibly resilient and supportive

a sad and deeply broken man

always willing to give his life to protect them and his other precious people

just wanted everything to be ok for once in his life

hated Danzo

his friendship with Gai is adorable

the way he teases Tenzo is fun

he’s known as cool and aloof but in reality he’s a huge dork

Gai would want him to win

Gai

was instrumental in the success of the story - he may not have won against Madara, but he put fear in him and had it not been for hacks, he would have decimated him where no one else could

believes whole-heartedly in his student to the point of dedicating his life to making him a splendid ninja

came from nothing, worked his way up from nothing, and is now considered to be one of the greatest shinobi to have come out of the Hidden Leaf. People know and fear him

made Itachi bail. That man was ready to fight everyone else, but packed it up when Gai came on the scene

kicked Jiraiya in the face and never properly apologized

great salesperson - always has a spare jumpsuit to give to passers-by and hook them on his favorite brand. True influencer and fashion icon

had a bowl cut before it was cool

was a great friend to Kakashi, and was there for him during the highs and lows of his horrifically stressful life. Arguably saved Kakashi's life with his constant support, and the story could not have happened without him. Is considered by Kakashi - one of the most powerful and infamous shinobi in the world - to be his equal and his best friend

loves kids. Supports his own students like he was their father, and equally takes pride in Naruto and protected Sasuke after Sasuke's first run in with Itachi

in the anime, he is shown to be hard on the outside but clearly permissive in that he would sneak Chouji food in the middle of a mission and try to push Naruto into figuring out who Minato was

confident in himself and confident in others - he is everyone's biggest cheerleader and he isn't just talk; he'll work hard with you. When he says he'll do something, nothing will stop him and he will follow his promises even when no one is watching.

hot. Man has pretty privilege

amazing, supportive teacher and friend

he is always trying to be positive in such a dark world and cheer up those around him

he's so good to Lee, Tenten, and Neji, you can just tell how much he cares about those kids

his speech to Lee was super moving. He knew Lee was scared and made sure to be there for him

he was ready and willing to die to defeat Madara in order to save the others

an actual decent upstanding father figure

unbridled whimsy

excellent tits

[nardo-headcanons]

Hi, I never get tired of saying how creative and talented you are ♡♡♡ I wanted to know if you would write about the Senju Clan. I know it's strange, since I haven't seen you writing anything like that and usually I don't see anything like that. I like the way you write, you're the best

Sigh. I have let this sit in my inbox way too long. I am so sorry. Thank you so much for your kind words, nonnie. I have some thoughts about the Hyuga as well, let me know if you would be interested in hearing that.

Also please note that I will change around some canon things and all of this is fanfiction/headcanon.

tagging some people i think will like reading this post: @narutobrainrotstuff , @the-real-sasuke-uchiha , @spookyphilosophertaco , @danceofthexdragons

cw for mention of genetics, racism, religion, genocide and human experiments

The Senju Clan

People

Compared to the Uchiha clan, who are phenotypically rather monotonous, the Senju clan had a very diverse population with a wider range of skin tones, eye and hair colors. There were generally very little restrictions when it came to marrying into the clan and becoming a part of it. The only traits most of the Senju shared were that of fine, straight hair whilst the Uchiha had thick and dark hair with curls not being uncommon.

The reason the Senju died out were two sides of the same coin - with many of the clan's members birthing less and less children, and those who did marrying outside of the clan to the point where there are many Konoha ninjas nowadays who are part Senju but may not even know it.

Traits and Abilities

The Senju were rather unspecified, wanting to hone their skills in all three fighting styles, though I like to think that Taijutsu was one they particularly excelled in. Once one's movements were fast enough to be evaded by the base sharingan (Mangekyou sharingan was, depending on the source material, either extremely rare or nonexistent), the Senju had an easier time fighting the Uchiha. Many of them became weapons and taijutsu specialists, making me think that Tenten might be part Senju and her idolization of Tsunade was a way to connect with her roots and get to know a fellow Senju.

Another skill of the Senju was wood style, which was a skill many Senju before Hashirama posessed, but they rarely ever utilized it in battle. Said ability was caused by a point mutation in the exome, prompting Orochimaru to later carry out experiment's on embryonic DNA to artificially induce said point mutation, killing dozens of newborns in the process.

Religion

While the Uchiha followed the way of Shintōism, most of the Senju were buddhists, like their distant relatives, the Uzumaki. Initially, the people living in the country of fire were engaging in both buddhist and shintōist practices, but with the continued rise of war between the shintō-believing Uchiha and the buddhist Senju, these two religions were more or less divided.

The Senju and the Uzumaki

The establishment of Uzushiogakure in the whirlpool country was received with mixed feelings from its inhabitants. Most Uzumaki, although practiced in the arts of combat, preferred their pacifistic lifestyle of teaching their ways on paper, and not on the battlefield. This instability made it easier for the hidden mist village to send colonialist forces, killing most of the Uzumaki in fear of their congenital abilities. And with the Senju living more and more decentralized and being too occupied with themselves, Uzushiogakure lacked the manpower compared to Kiri's extermination force.

The Senju's Legacy

Nowadays, after Konoha was founded, the Senju started living more and more decentralized, therefore there wasn't such a thing as the "Senju compound". The language of the Senju was adapted as Konoha's official language, causing the other hidden villages to adapt it as well. (You can read more about my thoughts on language in the Shinobi world here.)

There were shrines for both buddhist and shintō believers in the village, but once Hashirama became the first hokage, more and more citizens adapted the Senju's religion of buddhism, with the shintō believers dwindling in numbers. Tobirama's segregation policy did not help in the slightest; although the Uchiha, who believed in family unity and support, lived closely together, being redlined and pushed into the same profession felt patronizing. But even though the Senju as a clan is no more, their legacy continues on, in good ways, and in bad.