#tenten - mai

[missmetus]

[punkeropercyjackson]

'Zukka is basically just Sasunaru'Wrong,ZUTARA is the Sasunaru of Atla.Shoddy symbolism with no actual romantic connocations,siblings-coded,the shippers hate women so much it's unreal but pretend to care them only if they can lie about seeing them as lesbians,gave an unearned superiority complex to an entire generation,unfairly compared to objectively better and more molded ships out of shallow non-existent similarities,gets you called a bigot if you hate it even if you're part of the minority in question as it's branded as 'thee ship everybody shipped growing up'.Sns and Z/K is the same(derogatory)

[pattie1k]

Part 2 of the series: ‘I don’t care what people say, they hooked up once’

[erumai-maadu]

HI HI my birthday is on friday so i was thinkin maybe i could write some prompts and post them on/around my birthday?? (100% stole this idea from char muhaha)

so yeah!! if you’ve got smth for me to write go ahead and send in an ask!!

any ships or characters that i’ve mentioned on the blog before are fine with me. i’m best at writing team gai and nejiten but i’m absolutely down to go out of my usual zone and write about the other konoha kids, sand siblings, senseis and/or some gaalee, shikatema, sasusaku, etc.

[a-flux-uchiha]

I’ve been meaning to post these for a while, we’re not technically done, since I haven’t done Mikoto yet, but what can you do.

From top left to bottom right, it is Dot(Grimoire), Tenten(Tome), and Mai(Archive), then on the bottom it’s Ivy(name undecided), and Kushina(Kitsune).

The top three are the focus of Shuriken, Spikes and Swords, a crossover magical girl au I’m still working on, although it is fully planned out, just not fully written out.

Kushina and Mikoto were the generation before them, so they function a bit as mentors. I'm hoping to write out some shenanigans from when they were active. I've been meaning to get around to doing Mikoto, although I haven't managed it yet. I have a sketch for her, I just have to do it.

Ivy will be introduced in a second fic, something I had been intending to do anyway, just because it's been a lot of fun working on SSS. I had been intending to just continue with the three from the first one, however...I am not active in loz anymore, and that is very much on purpose, so I'd rather not have a fic still involving that. So, we're swapping Dot out. She'll just be moving away and Ivy will take her place. Ivy will be a couple years younger then Tenten, so just a year younger then Dot.

Please ask me about this au, I love it dearly, I have so much for it.

It got Long, so design notes under the read more.

Design notes going from top left to bottom right:

Dot: Her colors were a little rough since, well, almost all of her associated colors are already in Tenten or Mai. Pink, Red, and Teal all show up in one of those two. So it was a bit of a struggle to work that out. I think it worked out alright in the end though. Her design was originally a bit more complicated, then someone noted that her design was more complicated then Tenten and Mai's, so I ended up simplifying it a bit in the final version. She does have a cape, although it's rather hard to see. I swear it's there though. The bag at her side holds her magical item, which is a book, a grimoire you could say. It holds spells and potions and other such things. Her and Tenten were designed first, then Mai, so I could work out what things the two of them had in common and make them show up in Mai, since she had the least direction as she doesn't have any particular typical outfit from her anime. If you're wondering, the golden orb is magic and yes it's fully there to hide the fingers of that hand. We don't talk about that hand. Oh yes, please note the crown as well, that blue diamond is something you can note shows up on Tenten, Mai, and Ivy. It's a sort of team identifier thing. It's used when multiple teams of magical girls are in the same area, for something like a natural disaster usually.

Tenten: I settled on that hair option after it was decided to be the superior one between it and something similar but with braids. That one's probably more fun, if very Sailor Moon ish. Oh well. Her outfit does look very similar to one of her canon ones, which of course is on purpose, although note her forehead protector has the blue diamond on it instead of the Konoha symbol. She has a thigh pouch, and the bag hanging from her waist holds her magic item, which is a scroll similar to the ones she used in Konoha. When she's transformed it holds seals for all weapons she used in Konoha, when she's not, she draws her own seals on it, and those work like normal seals where she needs to put something in to take something out, as opposed to the transformed seals, which just spawn things in for her. There's a good chance I designed her first, since she's got the easiest design. You'll notice the waist belt system thing also shows up on Kushina and will show up on Mikoto, that is on purpose.

Mai: There was no particular reason for the boob window, Mai just wanted one and thought it was fun. Which, fair. It's mostly blocked by her hand in the drawing though. She's holding her magical item, which is a binder she writes in. She uses it to keep track of things, including the kinds of monsters they're seeing and in what quantities. She's got a couple other uses for it too, but that's the big one. She's technically a support type magical girl as she does not have magic from a past life, but she does still have magic she can use. Her specific ability is to briefly slow down time. She can't use it for very long though, as she doesn't have much magic. She's got blue diamond earrings, and if you're wondering, no one can pull on them, they're actively not technically attached to her ears. Not just a design choice they're actively not attached. Grab one and pull and you're just going to pull it away. It'll reattach itself when you let go. Notes I had when designing her outfit primarily were the skirt design, the lining of the top and sleeves, the gloves length, the bag, and the presence of the blue diamonds. Oh and the boots being like that. Her hair is held back by a headband, to go with the forehead protector on Tenten, and Dot's crown and hair bow.

Kushina: Her name is Kitsune, I'm sure you can guess why. She originally did have the long elf-like ears the others do, but after she figured out she could change her transformed state, she swapped them out for the big fox ears. It doesn't really matter as long as the ears aren't human. (Editor's note, here I realized while looking at my Ivy design that I had forgotten to do the long ears, and hurried off to fix that, this post has the proper version.) The whiskers on her face are fully because she knows Naruto had em in the other world, and she remembered his birth(and her death) soon after she became a magical girl. So there are very very few pictures of the times Kushina didn't have whiskers or big fox ears. Her magical item is the necklace, Mikoto's is also a necklace, although hers is a hawk. If you're wondering, Mikoto does have giant hawk wings, just because she could. And she should match Kushina. Kushina's actually wearing shorts under the green over dress.

And Last but Not least, Ivy: I lowkey almost forgot to draw the long ears on em. Luckily I remembered before posting this lol. Most important thing here and now: I'm going with a genderfluid Ivy! Mostly since I think it'll be fun. There is gender stuff going on with the whole magical girl situation, and while this isn't on display with any of the others, I figured I might as well get someone on board who could show off that side of this. that's mostly why I ended up picking Ivy out of all of my options for who would replace Dot. I'll just be using she when describing Ivy this time, but I'll probably switch it up in future posts. Ivy's one of the rare genderfluid magical girls who doesn't mind being active when they're not a girl, many genderfluid individuals who become magical girls are only working essentially part time. Whenever they comfortable with it. They're only found in teams of 3 or more because of that, so there's always at least two active magical girls. Actual design notes now: She's wearing kind of a variant on what she's normally wearing in the show, just without the jacket. Her magical item is Sora, although the slime only comes alive when she's transformed. Otherwise it's just a cute little plushie she carries around. She does have a fourth bag in the back attached to the belt around her waist, similar to in the show, and she can pull about anything out of those bags that she wants to. Similar to Tenten's scroll, they just spawn in the item she needs, although they are temporary. The blue diamond is on her bag strap, so still visible. Sora often hides out in the red bag, and is capable of healing large injuries, as well as smaller scrapes. Can and will eat bigger things now as well, although still prefers the potions Ivy can toss it. You will note that Ivy doesn't match Tenten and Mai quite as well as they match each other and Dot, that is on purpose, that's fairly typical for magical girl teams where one person was added later, since Ivy didn't become active at the same time as them, although they are her first team, she's technically considered a latecomer, which isn't bad. It's fairly normal for magical girl teams to switch up who's in them, especially early on when everyone is in college and early adulthood. Oh yeah you can note that her bangs are slightly off, particularly in the front, that is on purpose on her part, they look like Lattrua's.

[dark-elf-writes]

Buff TenTen:

I can’t just send you the whole thing but the whole thing. I love it dearly

But this specifically:

Guy’s dad killed four of the 7 swordsmen of Kiri and he’d be so proud that his student is carrying on the tradition.

Man would try to fill out adoption papers on the spot as she clearly is the daughter gate intended for him even if she’s not his biologically just like Lee was the son fate intended for him. Neji was not intended as he is very much Hizashi’s boy but he will absolutely still raise him now that his father cannot.

!!!

[evilkitten3]

idea - naruto/atla fusion. but it's crack

*voice over* water. earth. fire. air. long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked. only the avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. but when the world needed her most...

*screen shows the silhouette of a woman with dark red hair tied up in buns*

*voice over* ...she vanished. a hundred years passed, and my cousin and i found the new avatar, a boy named naruto.

*there's a record scratch; the camera pulls back to show naruto's legs sticking out of a snow drift; the speaker is revealed to be...*

sasuke: and if this idiot is supposed to save us, we're screwed.

---

Starring:

Uzumaki Naruto, as the Avatar

Uchiha Sasuke, as the World's Angriest Waterbender

Uchiha Shisui, as Guy With Stick

Haruno Sakura, as the Greatest Earthbender of All Time (or possibly just someone who's really, REALLY good at hitting stuff)

Hyuuga Hinata, as the Banished Prince(ss)

Hyuuga Neji, as Beleaguered Chaperone/Firebending Teacher

Hyuuga Hiashi, as Fire Lord

Hyuuga Hizashi, as Sad Backstory Dead Guy

Hyuuga Hanabi, as Tiny Princess Murder Machine

Tenten, as Knife Girl

Rock Lee, as The Fast And The Flippyous (no this is not bc of the name i only just realized that as i was typing this)

Uchiha Itachi, as Sad Backstory Dead Guy 2 Electric Boogaloo (kya. he's kya. i refuse to deprive sasuke of his brother issues)

Jiraiya, as Insane Rock King

Senju Tsunade, as Depressed Firebender Who Deserted

Orochimaru, as Man In Mansion With Sword

The Sand Siblings, as the Kyoshi Warriors

and of course...

The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox Kurama, as a Sky Fox-Bison

[sagemoderocklee]

been staring at the same paragraphs of the ballad for the last like hour making zero progress... cant focus, my body aches, my throat's bothering me, my lungs feel fucked up... dont think its happenin today

[rikustarlight]

Enjoy from a quick sketching session this morning on procreate

I’m just….UGH NEJI WOULD’VE BEEN THE IDEAL FATHER AND BORUTO WOULD’VE LOOKED UP TO NEJI AS A FATHER FIGURE WHILE NARUTO WAS BUSY…KISHI COPPED OUT WITH THIS ONE….there I said it with my whole chest.

As you can see, Meiten can be a bit stabby-hotheaded-pants like her mother sometimes… Their kids may mostly look like Neji but their personalities are definitely Tenten. They have their work cut out for them for sure!

Just some quick sketches of the kids. I’m missing ChouChou and Inojin but they would’ve made up the squad.

More sketches

Nejiten Kids head cannons | Nejiten Kids Designs | Nejiten head cannons

[tentenarchive]

In Defense of Tenten - the Chunin Exams' Written Test and Her Mirrors

A common joke made about Tenten is how obvious her mirror and line contraption, used to share answers with Rock Lee during the written exam, is. In this post, I'll show how her solution is perfectly reasonable and why she wasn't disqualified by the ninja proctors.

Firstly, we have to stablish what the objective of this written test is: to cheat. The written test was designed to be too difficult for ninjas of their level to be able to answer, forcing them to cheat from each other. Such is stated by Ibiki in the end of the First Phase chapters:

Next, the proctors are all higher level shinobi, better prepared and used to seeing various tricks and jutsu. It's not an stretch to suppose they're aware of EVERY cheating attempt made by those Genin, but were responsible for judging if their technique is too sloppy, obvious or ineffective.

My theory is supported by this scene, where Izumo eliminates one of the ninjas doing the test, claiming he took "five strikes".

It implies the competitors are allowed five errors before being disqualified, and one of the eliminated Genin makes it clear to the reader the "five strikes" are five times being caught cheating.

Naruto is also implied to be caught almost cheating when Hinata offers him her test answers (it can be interpreted either as Naruto being closely watched or Naruto's nerves making him think like that, half the proctors' job is to scare the Genin) and even then he is not automatically removed.

Tenten's technique may be obvious for us, as readers who have been shown by the author himself how she did it, but it's a single and successful attempt, and it's not commentated by any other characters, meaning no one caught on her besides the proctors, and they would only disqualify her if she did it more than once (which wasn't needed, she found the mole with all the answers!).

A pettier criticism i've "how isn't anyone seeing the lines?" to which the answer is very simple: manga is a visual media and the author needed the audience to understand how she was manipulating the mirror. If you take in consideration Tenten's fight with Temari in the anime - which is filler, btw, and it's up to you reading this to decide if it's a fair assessment on their abilities or not - she's shown using invisible lines to manipulate her weapons after throwing them. The lines are, conveniently, only visible when the animation needs us to understand how the weapons are moving backwards. Any other frame they're invisible.

You can see in the panel how the lines fade out towards the bottom and only show where they're attached to the mirror.

Finally: that's exactly what Ibiki expected the genin to do. There have been a few posts, specially on twitter, asking "how are you supposed to pass if you don't have a kekken genkai??". Like Tenten. That's how.

Kankuro and Tenten are the only characters which Kishimoto showed us cheating that didn't use an exclusive DNA super power. Kankuro and Tenten both use hidden threads, one uses chakra lines for puppetry and the last manipulates mirrors. They also pass their answers to their teammates, Temari and Lee.

(Sakura is the only confirmed character to do the entire test without cheating. Congrats Sakura!! You could argue Hinata used her byakuugan to cheat like Neji, but if you think she did it by herself, I will give you the pleasure of congratulating Hinata too. Congrats Hinata!)

Tenten's method was practical, and used her specific skill set: summoning and kunai work (where do you think the mirrors came from? a scroll, that's for sure). It was probably set up before the test started, during the commotion Team 7 created with their arrival. We're not shown it because Tenten is a tertiary character and Kishimoto wouldn't invest 2-3 panels of set up for a 3 panel sequence pay-off that works by itself very well. She is smart, did great and made sure her teammate was not left behind.

Tenten is not even the most absurd method used in this exam, so, as a treat, i will show you, in order, the most obvious cheats shown in the manga from least to most!

Sasuke's Sharingan If you're a ninja from the Leaf Village, you know who Sasuke Uchiha is and what a Sharingan is capable of. Unfortunally for him, the Exam is being held at the Leaf Village and all the jounin and chuunin there are from the Village. Any proctor looking at his direction in a position in front of him could see clearly his eyes and know exactly what he was doing.

Neji's Byukuugan Like the Sharigan, you can physhically see when it's activated, with the downgrade of being noticible by people sitting at up to 95º from him, as the veins are visible on the sides of his face too. A fair trade for the ability to see better than the Sharingan, even if you're not able to copy, in my personal opinion.

Ino's Mind Transfer Jutsu The jutsu's hand signal is simple and can be missed, but it's still obvious for any Konoha ninja watching, it is a very recognizable ability. There's also the higher chance of Ino being caught since she needs to do it three times (once for getting Sakura's answers, twice to pass them to Chouji and Shikamaru). Besides, the "dropping dead on the table" thing can be disruptive in a mostly silent classroom.

Akamaru and Kiba's communication Akamaru is barking all the way through the exam, and while the balloon used for the text is the one for thoughts, it's also the same used for whispered conversations up to this point in the manga. The anime makes the barks happen in the real world, and not in their thoughts, and as far as i could find, Kiba can understand dog language but there's no psychic talk between them. By the noise alone he could be caught. I think he wasn't expelled just because a full conversation between dog and human is a novel enough ability to not be considered by most ninjas unaware of the Inuzuka clan's special abilities.

The Most absurd one: Kakuro and his Puppet He put an entire guy no one knows and has never been seen in a room where all the authorities are from the same village and have, at least, a vague knowledge of each other's existence. To increase the absurdity, somehow everyone let Kankuro use his own puppet to guide himself to the bathroom. I cannot express enough how unlikely it is that, in a real info gathering mission inside a single room where all the higher rank ninjas are exclusively from the same village, Kakuro's plan could work. Most decent sensors could also catch the chakra line's signature.

I'll give it to him, making the puppet talk helps with the disguise, but it only fools his fellow attendees, not the proctors. He's too confident that he didn't raise any alarms.

But Ibiki goes as far as insinuating he knows (and has known from the start) about the puppet's existence when Kankuro comes back from the bathroom.

If Kankuro was able to finish the test and not get disqualified, even if he had what I consider the most obvious cheating attempt from the named characters shown, it's fair game for Tenten and all the other important cheaters. Besides, it's a single attempt at cheating, even if it required an entire prep work for it, so it doesn't matter if all the high level ninja's are aware, that's not enough to kick him out.

I cannot leave out the meta reasons why these characters weren't removed from the class: they're important to varying degrees to the story and they need to advance through the first phase to keep readers engaged.

Regardless of how absurd I think Kiba's and Kankuro's methods are, they need to go all the way to the fight tournament after the Forest of Death, where they have important roles to fill: Sasuke and Naruto are main characters and are prioritized by the narrative; Ino and Sakura will have an important character developments and flashbacks during their fight; Neji has an entire arc that only concludes all the way in his fight against Naruto; Kiba is the rival for Naruto in the surprise fighting tournament and he is one of the few characters able to match Naruto's silliness so he can win in a silly way; Kankuro and Tenten are both part of the two strongest cells present in the event, the Sand Siblings and Team Gai, both introduced as real threats to Team 7, and having anyone from these cells lose would undermine the narrative created around then. All of them would get through anyway.

Tenten losing against Temari in future parts of the Chuunin Exam has narrative importance too, a fight I will cover in the next In Defense of Tenten, but in short Tenten was introduced as a threat alongside Neji and Lee, her abilities and experience surpassing Team 7's. Having her lose against one the Sand Shinobi serves to show how big their gap in power is: if someone more experienced and well trained than them can't win against them, Team 7 has no chance. It's part of the build up for the future Naruto and Gaara fight, and the suspense about their real strength (since the fight doesn't exist in the manga, only the result is shown).

Conclusion: people are overly critical of Tenten because she's seen as a "lolcow" in the Naruto fandom, in part by the bad adaptation of her fight with Temari to the anime, which poisoned any feat of hers before and after it; but also because Naruto and Boruto don't give satisfying ends to any of the original female cast besides Hinata (she marries the man she loves and becomes a housewife away from the battlefield, an honorable decision i will never shit on, she never wanted to be a ninja and is a kind mother and wife, good for her!) so all female characters are seem as weak and useless when compared to their male peers. Naruto is a work riddled with undercover misogyny, never out right stated but always preventing the girls to achieve any meaningful resolution or permanent development.

That added to the ever expanding powerscalling abilities and fights make characters with simpler and down to earth abilities and feats outdated by its own universe. Knowing how big the Naruto fights and jutsu get in the future make people look down on crafty solutions like sealing scrolls, kunai and mirrors, when that is a perfectly respectable solution within the series and matches the powerlevel presented this early in the story.

Tenten is not weak, or bad, or useless. She's misrepresented by the most popular media consumed: the anime, and further misunderstood by the fans of said work. Large fandoms can be allergic to text interpretation and infighting is stimulated to the point fans of smaller characters are bullied off social media and forums (i.e. the forum where I got the list of all chapters Tenten is in is filled to the brim with comments about how OP should move the topic to "fan works" since no one would want to read about it in the canon work page, or how the mods shouldn't allow him to have a thread). I respect Tenten's feats, as well as other small characters', and refuse to be fed the same "uselessness" narrative this fandom always had, because i actually enjoy Naruto, even if i have many problems with it, and I take it seriously.

She did great.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Had to split the last chapter into 2 separate ones bc i got a bit overzealous with this one... so here’s chapter 3! may be a longer bit before 4′s ready, but  Enjoy! [tw: blood, mentions of suicidal thoughts/ death/ survivors guilt]

Ch1 Ch2

Tsunade: Enter. Kks: Mornin’. Tsunade: Kakashi. I got your message. So, Gai made it out of the coma, huh. I’ll go see how his condition is when I’m done here. Kks: I’m sure he’ll love that, but that’s not why I’m here. Tsunade: Are you looking for work? I can assign you-. Kks: More of a discussion. About the hokage thing.

Tsunade: Are you finallt giving me an answer? Kks: Yup. I’m saying no. I’m not interested. However, if there is truly no one else, I have a compromise if you’re interested.

Tsunade:It’d better be a good deal, brat. The council won’t be happy with this. You were about to accept months ago. Why say no now? Kks: Alot’s changed since then.

Gai: Papa

[gai sighs] [window sliding]

Kks: Yo. Gai: Rival!! Happy to see you! Kks: I see you’ve had visitors

Gai: Yes! I am so lucky and moved! Especially from our students! Kks: How are you feeling? Gai: Sore. Stiff. But much better than this morning. [kks hums] Kks: Sorry I took so long. Got caught up. Gai: Nonsense! I was honored to wake up to see both of your beautiful eyes first thing. You look so youthful! You left in such a hurry, you left your shoes. Kks: Yeah, had a soggy walk to my apartment. Can’t return those slippers now. Gai: How are /you/ feeling?

Gai: You seemed so overwhelmed and I couldn’t move. I feel like i’ve missed so much. Kks: I’m ok now. Just needed some air. Plus, sorted some things I’d been neglecting. I knew you’d be flooded with visitors. So, I stayed out of the way. Gai: Pretty cool response per usual. Kks: I think you’re pretty cool

Kks: How long are you stuck here? Did they say? Gai: A few weeks. Most of it depends on the physical therapy progress. My chakra network is fried. It’ll be slow to heal if at all. They’ve never treated my condition before, so the doctors are not sure what’ll happen

Kks: Did Tenten tell you about her plans? Kankuro even offered his experience building a prosthetic. Gai: Yes. She was very excited. Kks: /You/ don’t seem as enthused. What’s bugging you? you’re usually delighted by your team’s passion or whatever. Gai: I am truly touched because I know she’ll give it her all, but...

Gai: It won’t make a difference. Kks: What did the doctor say? Gai: Even if I can stand or walk, I’ll have lasting damage and pain. I’ll need a wheelchair the rest of my life. My time as an active duty shinobi is done.

Kks: You’ll get through this. Gai: What am I going to do, ‘Kashi? Kks: You’re stubborn enough. I’m sure you’ll find a way to prove them wrong. Like walking on your hands or something. You’ll be a menace in a wheelchair in no- Gai: I do not want you or my students burdened by my injury

Kks: That’s what you’re worried about? You think mourning you would have been any easier on anyone? You’re more to them than just a teacher. If you could have Dai back right now, wouldn’t you want that? Gai: Of course I would. Kks: Then see it from their perspectives. Don’t just lie down and accept this is how your life ends. That’s not how Dai raised you.

Kks: This is terrifying to deal with, Gai, It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. But please don’t give up. I won’t let you. Gai: I was prepared to die Kks: ...I’ve understood wanting to be dead for a long time. I get it. Gai: I do not regretn my decision at all. Regardless, I’ve hurt you the most. I know you’re angry.

Kks: I won’t lie to you. I am angry. Extremely. But I’ve wasted so much time pushing you away already. I don’t want to waste anymore time we have left. The only consistent thing in my life has always been you. I’ve said horrible things to you, and you never abandoned me. I think all the time about how I would have turned out if you didn’t keep me human. Self sacrifice seems to be something we have in common. Neither of us were meant to be without the other apparently... We’ve both been brought back from death. So maybe it’s...

Baby gai: You’re my eternal rival... My man of- Kks: Destiny

Kks: Strongesttaijutsu master who ever lived. My eternal rival. My man of destiny. I’m so happy you’re alive

[gai crying]

[Gai sobbing/crying]

[orangelemonart]

OK best Konoha Team from their generation, let's go.

Honorable Mention: Team 7 (classic)

Unparalleled levels of toxic codependency. Every single of one of them has an inferiority complex. Sakura and Naruto are best friends who also are the anime trope of sexual-harassment/domestic-violence-reaction. Kakashi can't NOT project his dead jinchuuriki/medical ninja and dead uchiha/loser teammates and dead sensei on them. He refuses to admit he likes the kids and barely trains them. Even when Yamato and Sai come later, it's mostly to have some new people to go "wow, what the fuck is wrong with these guys. That's not normal". Sakura is hyper-fixated on Sasuke (and later Naruto), Sasuke is hyper-fixated on Naruto, Naruto is hyper-fixated on both of them. Sasuke's tried to kill all of them, all of them have tried to kill (or in Naruto's case, horrifically maim) Sasuke. Awful all around. My favorite squad.

Third Place: Team 8

I'll never understand the basis of all the headcanons people have of them hanging out and smoking weed together. They barely interact. Maybe those people base their opinions on anime fillers, idk. In the manga, sometimes we'll get Shino and Kiba talking just for a gag about how Shino is forgettable, and we got like two moments where Kurenai was looking out for Hinata, but goddamn. Shikamaru had more meaningful character interactions with this team's sensei than anyone on the actual team did. At least in part 1 they all have big neutral-colored jackets, that's kind of cute. Matching.

Second place: Team Gai

Admittedly Tenten gets barely any screentime, but she still manages to have more team interactions than anyone on Team 8 does, from her yelling at Lee and Gai, to her and Neji's deadpan reactions to Gai's antics, to her chuunin exam commentary. I like seeing Gai train all of them in the gates and loudly support them all, even though he has a clear favorite lmao. I like Lee and Neji's relationship. I like Neji interacting with any of them. I may be biased because I adore the Rock Lee & His Ninja Pals spinoff, but even without it I think they're a fun team.

FIRST PLACE: TEAM 10

BEST SQUAD HANDS DOWN. Even though Shikamaru and Choji are bffs, they're still ride or die for Ino other no matter the situation. They're all ride or die for each other. Asuma is always treating them to meals and they're all always hanging out. Even before Asuma's death, their teamwork was the strongest. The kids' powers are literally made to work together. I love how they know exactly what to say to support or annoy each other. The piercings. Team 10 forever.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Most to least experienced in bed? Konoha 11 and whoever else you wanna add. Love your work 😩😩

alrighty, i switched this up a bit to avoid strange research, if you wanna see someone else/another group ranking, lmk - i hope this is up to code, and thank you for the request!!

Sex Tier List

Ranked: Konoha 11 (Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Tenten) + Sand Siblings (Kankuro, Temari, Gaara) + Sasuke

Warnings: swearing, x(GN)reader implications, we are talking about sex, uh idk lmk if something makes you uncomfy

Notes: Boruto era for everyone, and, for everyone, their Bortuo era! this request had me fucked up lowk because, canonically, these mfs got zero action without rings - so we're putting an enjoyment spin on it, worst to best, in a modern-ish au. as in, who you would have to guide, vs, who could rock your world, five times over, in one night.

Masterlist💿

Tier 3 - Passable🪙

5. Hinata

I'm not even sorry. She deffo just lies there. Never gets on top. You have to ask for anything and everything, and not even in a sexy, teasing way, more in a 'I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wooden board' way.

4. Kiba

May God love him because this man is certainly a selfish lover. That's not to say he isn't good - he's great at getting himself off, his brain just kinda shuts off otherwise. If you wanna cum, the onus is on you, because he's fuck-drunk within seconds of you touching him.

3. Kankuro

He's trying, okay?? It's just really fucking hard to keep you in mind when you just feel so fucking good. Kankuro's just inconsistent - that's the main issue. He'll try a million different positions in one session and is always unintentionally edging you.

2. Lee

Now, our darling, Rock Lee, is trying his best, honestly and truly. However, he doesn't know anything about anything, and you have to guide him every now and again. He's got the enthusiasm down, he's just not very good at translating it into pure sexual energy on the fly.

1. Gaara

He's too busy to be good at sex. When he does find the time, y'all get extra down and dirty, but Gaara's still lowkey inexperienced and the irregularity of your encounters doesn't help.

Tier 2 - Good🪩

5. Choji

Bro's got hidden talents, aight? It's a matter of him wanting to utilize them that sets Choji up. Most nights, he's chilling, but on those key few nights, hot damn.

4. Sasuke

I would've put him lower but y'all would've been mad - it's called REALISM. Sasuke would be wayyyyy too busy to put in the work to develop any actual skill in the bedroom, and he would find researching for it so far past disgusting. His good grace would be his natural endowment and prowess, but he's on thin fucking ice.

3. Tenten

Surprisingly stone top vibes, I cannot lie. She deffo gets off on your pleasure, but she's down here because she's kinda bad at first. There would totally be improvement, like obvious and quick improvement, but those first few times were pretty rough.

2. Shino

Baby boy. Sweet boy. Ugh. I love. I wanted him as number one, so I'm not even defending this. Take it up with my lawyer.

1. Naruto

He's not the main character for nothing. Naruto lays pipe, but he can get a bit selfish at times. Never fear though, the second he catches himself, lost in the sauce, another round gets added to his itinerary. He'll be making it up to you tenfold, even if it was just for a minute.

Tier 1 - Fantastic🔮

5. Sakura

With her level of anatomical knowledge, she barely even needs to break a sweat to give you a release. However, she will break a sweat, because she wants to. Just amazing, idk what to tell you.

4. Temari

Got me kickin my feet and twirlin my hair rn - she would be so GODLY in the sack. She's always very present, very attentive, but is so openly expressive in the moment. Temari would have you screaming syllables and seeing colours behind your eyelids.

🥉 Neji

The game my man's got is INSANE. I just know for a goddamn fact that no one dances the horizontal mambo as gracefully as Neji. You're pleased, he's pleased, no one's ever terribly tired or bruised, the limits are clear lines but are never even toed. That's just the reg, too! Special nights would be fucking wild, dude would have wine, and flowers, and candles - he would go the whole nine yards every time.

🥈 Ino

Be still, my beating heart. Christ. Yeah, Ino's got this shit on lock. She's a vers switch, need I say more? (I do, someone request a fic)

🥇 SHIKAMARU

Y'all seen my preferance yet, or nah?

Oh Em Gee - Shikamaru could have you, heels to Jesus, all night longgggg. The stamina, the will, the knowledge, the capability; it's all there, and no one is as apt to put it all together except for Shikamaru. He would go for hours at a time, until he physically couldn't anymore. He would know exactly what makes your timebomb tick, and he would push every button so deliciously. Fuck, he's a tease too. If you two aren't actively in the bedroom, he's trying to get you there.

[dualityvn]

May I know Keith's thoughts when we were slapping Tenten's salami in that bad ending? 👀

The shortest version of his wave of frustration, jealousy and shock would be: "Damn, I wish that was me."

[a-flux-uchiha]

Shuriken, Spikes, and Swords

Thank hylia for the dear friend on discord who got me the name for this, it already was postponed two weeks because I couldn't find a name.

My dearly beloved three way crossover with my three favorite girls. All rare characters obviously but what else did you expect. It'll be posted every other Friday, so be sure to stay tuned! Please ask me about this au, I have so much random stuff on it. Please ask, I wanna info dump on stuff that wouldn't show up in fic.

[tozettastone]

I've been looking at cuts of various Akatsuki related episodes for fic writing reasons and my takeaways — novel to me, but perhaps you already knew them — are as follows:

Kakuzu is way more stable than we as a fandom give him credit for being. He listens to Hidan. He stays out as requested. He steps in when necessary. He is impatient, cranky, and done with Hidan's shit, but he mostly treats him with the attitude of a 15 year old cat faced with a yowling kitten. Honestly I have become more confident in my maddieverse!Kakuzu characterisation, even though I was worried it was too even-tempered and friendly. Kakuzu actually isn't that volatile in canon. I think a lot of his characterisation is inferred from things we don't actually see on-screen, and so his murderous rages are mostly an informed character trait — he really only gets blindly angry, on screen, at Naruto, who has the main character vibes that make everyone act weird anyway.

CONVERSELY. Deidara is way LESS stable than we as a fandom give him credit for being. We looked at him being cute, blond, young, and relatably annoyed with Tobi and decided that meant he was relatively emotionally normal, for a mass murderer. He is not. (I may be a bad Deidara writer. I've been doing him so wrong.) When we write Deidara we need to write him eating clay and trembling like a chihuahua.

HE thinks he's normal though. Like very clearly. And he's judging everyone around him. He's the normal one in his own mind.

Still Deidara: he dodged Gai AND Lee AND Neji. At the same time. With no arms. With a knife in his mouth. (Tenten was there too but in true Naruto tradition she did very little.) Food for thought?? Might need to revise my "Hidan could probably beat Deidara under specific circumstances in close quarters," assessment. If Gai can't catch him, Hidan can't catch him! RIP Hidan I love you but you might be smithereens.

Hidan IS ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag, though. We are RIGHT about Hidan. We as a fandom might need a reminder to write more of the mid-combat whooping and giddy laughter though. Also he is super athletic. I think we are all so focused on his weird sadomasochistic murder technique (he does roll his eyes back in his head and sigh about how good it feels to get 6 inches through his chest cavity, yes, that's still Hidan) that we've forgotten that, actually, absurd acrobatics are like 45% of his taijutsu style. He is so, so athletic. No, more than that. No, more.