the-vampire-lance

[the-vampire-lance]

Sexiest faces Keith ever made

Keith: …… Lance….. why are the last few pics of me after I got my ass kicked?

Lance: (blushes) …..

Keith: lance?!

Lance: dude you just look so hot ! Like you have a fucked out face!

Keith: ….. so you think I look hot when I get the shit beaten out of me?!

Lance: erm no? I um-I mean-

Keith: why do you have pictures of me in your phone?! How did you even get those pics of me?!

Lance: I uh…. May have had pidge hack into the blades security feeds….. we wanted to see what the hell happened to you in that base! You were gone for a while! Then your lion started attacking the base! So I-we got worried!

Keith: waitaminute. You said “I”.

Lance: what?

Keith: you corrected yourself but you said “I” was worried”. …. You were worried about me.

Lance: no I wasn’t!

Keith: yes you were. Don’t try to deny it.

Lance: alright fine! I was worried! You happy?!

Keith: very. Now as for those pictures… you think I look hot when I get beat up huh? Well I got a hot picture of you too. Here.

Lance: ?!!! What?! Seriously?! I got blown up!!!

Keith: and when you did that dramatic shoot and swoon, my heart skipped a beat. 😏

Lance: 😳…. Wait. How did you get this footage? 🤨

Keith: pidge hacked the security feeds for me. I wanted proof that the bonding moment happened.

Lance: ohhhhh crap. 😰

Keith: that’s right buster! I HAVE PROOF THAT I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS! 😈

[the-vampire-lance]

Funniest faces Keith ever made

Keith: lance I’m mostly annoyed in these pictures! AND AT YOU!

Lance: yeah you make the funniest annoyed faces 😊

Keith: is that why your always annoying me?!

Lance: …. Noooooooooo….

Keith: ………

Lance: …… (runs)

Keith: …. GET BACK HERE MCCLAIN! I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

[the-vampire-lance]

………… was shiro faking it?

Shiro! Were you faking it?

Voltron plothole discovered! Season 7 Episode 6 – The Journey Within

Everyone but the paladins gets frozen!

[the-vampire-lance]

Iris giggled at the kisses Keith was giving her and gave him a kiss right back (no she didn’t lick him).

“Awww I like you too Keith. you’re as sweet as our growlith. I bet you’re really good at keeping Mr. Lance safe.” She says snuggling right up to Keith, hugging him like a teddy bear.”

Meanwhile

“So your friend is a werewolf. And are you some kinda monster too? I noticed your friend was the only one eating back there.”

Lance sucks in his lips as he looked away nervously.

“Um…. Please don’t freak out! And also I don’t go around attacking people! I’m civilized! But um…. I’m a vampire…”

He cringed waiting for the father’s reaction. When he looked at Rainer, the man didn’t seem to have reacted. He just looked at Lance, cocking an eyebrow.

“For a vampire, you’re not much of a Count Dracula. Are all vampires in your reality skittish and bad at lying?”

Lance relaxed a little. “No, just me I guess. vampires in my reality have been hiding and living amongst humans. It’s better that humans don’t believe we exist otherwise we’d have vampire hunters after us. Honestly considering how easily you found us out, I’m wondering how I’ve managed to keep hidden all this time.”

“Lol I’m wondering that too. But despite you two being monsters, you seem like nice young men. I don’t see any reason to call the officer Jenny squad on you.”

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks sir. Keith and I both appreciate that. And we promise not to cause any trouble while we’re here in your world.”

“I appreciate that. Thanks.”

After a while, Rainer calls his daughter over. It was getting late and it was time to head off.

“It was nice meeting you two. I hope you find your way back home.”

Then Rainer leaned down to speak to Keith.

“Thanks for playing with my daughter and being so nice to her. Your ok. Take care young pup.”

Little Iris gave Keith and big hug and a kiss. “Thanks for playing with me! You take good care of Mr. Lance. You’re his big strong protector.”

Lance blushed and smirked at that. His mind was immediately flooded with images of Keith being a strong knight protecting his fair damsel (who was Lance).

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

Team Voltron plays among us

Hunk walks into the medbay, discovers Keith’s body and reports it.

The meeting begins.

Shiro: ok hunk, what did you see?

Hunk: I just walk into the medbay and Keith is lying dead on the floor!

Lance: I DID IT! IT WAS ME! I KILLED KEITH! VOTE ME OUT!

Everyone: ……

Shiro: lance why are you confessing?

Lance: I’m not Lance, I’m Keith. I stole lances phone after he killed me, then ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

Pidge: (snicker)

Lance: (Keith) he’s banging on the door right now begging for his phone back and promising not to kill me again.

Hunk: XD lol

Pidge: rofl XD

Shiro: omg lol

Pidge: you gonna kill him when you become imp?

Lance: (Keith) hell yeah!

Pidge: lol ok we won’t sus you then. You got team immunity.

(Later)

Lance: TRAITORS! 😫

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance smirked. “What you don’t want a lollipop? You can have as many as you want. Usually my Keith would grab both hand fulls and stuff um in his fanny pack. He likes sweets.”

While lance was freaking out over getting Keith sick, he completely forgot about the fact that he was supposed to distract Keith while other Lance was getting rid of the evidence.

Not how I wanted to go about distracting Keith but it works out. I hope I bought Lance enough time to clean up his mess.

“Sooooo ass? Have you eaten ass before dude? “ he’s gonna mess with Keith a little over this.

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

Omg! That pigeon tried to tea bag the cat but it turned out the cat wasn’t dead lol XD

[the-vampire-lance]

Take both pills and fall down the rabbit hole, wake up in wonderland and believe every ridiculous bit of nonsense that happens around you in your drug induced coma.

That big ol smoking caterpillar- that’s real

Those talking flowers- real

That creepy grinning cat- real but can’t prove it. He keeps disappearing.

That red queen bitch that wants to chop off your head- yeah, very much real. So go all American Mcgee’s Alice and go stabby stabby on that bitch.

i gotchu klance truthers

[the-vampire-lance]

Gordon Ramsey: WHAT ARE YOU?!

Cat: a kitty sandwich!

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance and Keith are walking along when they see this in the distance.

Lance: hay Keith! Check it out! Snow White and the seven dwarfs!

Keith: lance that’s eight and a ring leader.

Lance: huh your right…… (pulls out bayard and shoots the last one in line.) there! NOW it’s seven! 😁

The last bokoblin (who turned out to be a silver bokoblin) jumps up, turns and starts roaring at them. Then He pulls out his horn and alerts the others and they all turn towards Lance and Keith.

Keith: nice going sharpshooter. Now you made them mad. And now they are going to come after US!

They both start running as the monsters chase them.

Lance: I knew that nickname would catch on! 😁

Keith: REALLY LANCE?! THATS WHAT YOUR FOCUSED ON RIGHT NOW?!

Lance: I GOT MY PRIORITIES!

Keith: I GOT A PRIORITY FOR YOU! I’M THROWING YOU TO THEM SO I CAN ESCAPE!

snow white and the seven bokoblins (more like eight)

saw this while sailing by soka point, near lurelin village. I swear they look like the seven dwarves walking home after a long day at the mines.

[the-vampire-lance]

Lmao XD

snow white and the seven bokoblins (more like eight)

saw this while sailing by soka point, near lurelin village. I swear they look like the seven dwarves walking home after a long day at the mines.

[the-vampire-lance]

Lmao 🤣 my sibling got in trouble for that lol

Voltron: kid Lance’s first Valentine’s Day at school

Back in grade school, Lance had an imaginary friend named shade. She looked like a purple cat lady in a kimono.

One day while Lance was doing his homework, he asked his imaginary friend.

Lance: hay shade? Why do boys give girls flowers and chocolates?

Shade: I believe it might have something to do with praying mantis.

Lance: huh?

Shade: you see when praying mantises get together to be valentines, the boys usually always gets eaten by the girls. But some boys had found a why to avoid that. by simply giving the girls food. That way the girls will eat the food instead of the boys. With humans it’s a similar concept, except the boys give flowers because flowers provide a calming scent that makes the girl mellow. chocolates also appease the girls hunger and keeps them from getting aggressive towards the boys. Does that make sense?

Lance: yeah I think so, thanks!

Later the next day (which was Valentine’s Day) lance’s mom receives a call from the principal who expresses concern for Lance.

Apparently Lance had given a girl in his class flowers and a box of chocolates then shouted “please don’t eat me!”

Later when Lance gets home, Lance’s mom asked Lance what that was all about at school.

Lance just tells his mom what he learned about Valentine’s Day.

Mom: and who told you all this?

Lance: umm I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

mom turns to Lance’s dad.

Mom: sweetie, line um up!

A while later, Lance’s dad calls all Lance’s brothers and sisters in and his mom turns to them and says.

Mom: alright you little diablillos! Which one of you told Lance that a girl would eat him if he didn’t give them flowers and chocolates?!

To this day, Lance’s mom still can’t figure out where he got that ridiculous idea from.

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance tried not to look at Keith. He could feel the angry glare piercing the side of his head. If Keith was a sniper, he’d be hitting Lance with a head shot.

When they got to the park, iris ran after Keith, trying to catch him. Aperently she was still oblivious to the fact that the wolf playing with her was the same Keith that raced her in the ball pit.

“Hehehe I’m gonna get chu Keith! I’m fast like a pikachu! Hahaha!”

While they were playing, Lance and Rainer sat on a bench watching.

Rainer then turns to lance.

“Ok let’s hear it. Why is you friend a pokemon?”

Lance scratched the back of his head nervously as he tries to think of how he’s gonna explain all this.

“Um well… h-he’s not actually a pokemon.he’s um… have you ever heard of a werewolf?”

“We have movies about them. They don’t exist though.”

Lance laughed nervously. “Yeah well maybe not in this reality. I’m getting ahead of myself…. The truth about Keith and I is a bit hard to believe… have you ever heard of alternate realities?”

“I’ve heard the theories.”

“ well it’s all true and Keith and I are from another reality. One where pokemon don’t exist and werewolves and other horror movie monsters do exist.”

Lance looked at Rainer to gauges his reaction. The man though just stared at Lance for a full minute trying to read if Lance was bullshiting him. Then after a minute he said “you’re not kidding are you?”

Lance shakes his head. “No sir. Keith and I are kinda lost here in your reality, and we’re just trying to get home.”

“So how does entering into a pokemon beauty pageant fit into you getting home?”

Lance looked over at Keith and laughed a bit. “Yeah I can see how that wouldn’t make sense… well you see, Keith and I didn’t have money, we needed money to pay for transportation to a town where a professor lives. We were hoping this professor could help us find a way home. The pokemon pageant gives a money reward to the winner so Keith and I entered so we could win the money we needed.”

“Ok that makes sense now.” Rainer hummed. “Where are you two headed?”

“Sandgem town. To see prof rowan.” Lance replied.

“That’s quite a journey. It’ll take you several weeks to get there by foot. The fastest way there would be by bullet train. You’ll get there within a day.”

“Really? That’s great! Keith and I were debating on what mode of transportation we should use. Keith will definitely like that the bullet train is the best option. Thanks!”

“No problem.”

While they were talking, iris had caught up to Keith and had tackled him. She giggled as she hugged him and rubbed her face in his some fur.

“I GOT CHU! Lol. Wow you’re as soft and huggable as an arcanine! You must really keep Mr. Lance warm at night. I bet he cuddles you every night!”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

“It’s not my mouth, it’s the medicine!”

Then lance blinks.

“Wait… how do you even know what dirty ass tastes like?”

Then lance digs around in his bag.

“Anyway let me make it up to you. Here’s a hand full of lollipops and a hand full of mints…. I’m just gonna take a mint.”

Takes a mint for himself and pops it in his mouth. Then holds out the two handfuls to Keith.

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

Iris started petting Keith. Rubbing his fuzzy cheeks and giving him hugs.

“Your lycanroc has the same name as Mr. Keith? I bet he’s just as nice and fun to play with too!”

Rainer gave Lance a side eye. “Yeah I bet he is.”

Lance tried to look away innocently but caught Keith’s accusing stare. He could practically hear the werewolf saying “I TOLD YOU SO!”

There’s no way Keith will let him live this down. He’s totally not going to let him forget this at all.

Just then Rainer kneels down to look Keith directly in the eyes. Studying him closely.

He stared for a minute. Then stood up and leaned close to Lance and whispered.

“That lycanroc is somehow your friend Keith isn’t it?”

If this was an anime, you’d hear the sound of a record stop and shatter right now. That was the background sound that was going through Lance’s head when Rainer said those damning words.

Shit we’re screwed!

“Uh w-w-what?”

“I can tell by just looking at his eye. His eyes are the same. Care to explain what the heck’s going on here?”

Lance looked back and forth to check if anyone was watching them and fortunately there wasn’t.

He leans close to Rainer.

“Ok fine but not here. Somewhere private please.”

Rainer gave Lance a long look before shrugging. “Alright, we can go to the pokemon park across the street. There’s plenty of places to talk where people can’t hear us.”

Then the father turns to Iris and Keith.

“How bought we all go to the pokemon park across the way. You and “Keith’ can play there.”

“Yay!” Iris cheered.

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

They walk back into the restaurant and return to the father and daughter.

“Hay I’m back! And like I promised, this is my lycanroc.”

Iris looked at the werewolf and squealed. “OH WOW! YOUR LYCANROC IS SO PRETTY!” She runs up to Keith and kneels down in front of him, holding her hand out for him to sniff.”

“Hi! My name is Iris! It’s nice to meet you!”

The father looks Keith over, then looks at Lance and says. “Well you weren’t kidding, that is a very unusual looking lycanroc…. Do you always dress your pokemon up in fancy duds?”

Lance stiffened.

Crap! He forgot to take the outfit off Keith.

“Uh n-no not usually. We just came from a special event and I forgot to take the outfit off.”

The father cocked an eyebrow at that. “Oh? What event was that?”

“The pokemon beauty pageant. We won first place.”

The father looked sceptical. “You two won first place at a beauty pageant?”

“Yep”

Iris looked up at Lance and said. “Your lycanroc looks so pretty in his outfit! I can see why he won first place! what’s your lycanroc’s name?”

“Yes Lance, what is your lycanroc’s name?” The father inquired.

Lance grew nervous now. Maybe he can make up a name like…. Akira! Yeah maybe-

But before Lance could reply, a random person piped in.

“Oh cool! You’re the dude who won that Pokemon beauty pageant! I recognize you! You’re the one with the unusual lycanroc named Keith! Can I take a picture of your pokemon?”

Lance froze.

Oh shit we’re busted. Keith and I should have came up with a name for him in wolf form!

“Uh hehe yeah sure…”

The random person went to take a picture of Keith then left.

When they were gone, Lance chanced a glance at Rainer who was staring at him unimpressed.

“So I supposed your gonna tell me you named your pokemon after your friend Keith now?”

Lance grinned nervously. “Uh y-yeah that’s exactly what I did. Hehe.”

Rainer looked back down at Keith.

“Funny how he has the same hairstyle as your friend too.”

“Yep, big coincidence that is yep.”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

“Don’t sweat it Keith. The people at the contest bought it. These guys will too. Go ahead and transform already!”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.