the-vampire-lance

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance looked over to the father. “So where are you two headed after this?”

The dad Rainer responded “after this we’re heading over to pokemon spa to pick up my wife’s growlith. We figured being a police dog, he deserved some R&R.”

Lance’s eyes widened at that. “No kidding! That’s where we are heading. Well, that’s where I’m heading. Keith wants to go back to the pokemon center to relax. I have a Pokemon that I want to spoil.”

Iris perked up at that. “Oh! What pokemon do you have?!”

Lance glanced over at Keith then smiled and looked at iris.

“A lycanroc”

Iris squealed at that. Jumping up and down.

“Can I see your lycanroc?! Pretty please?!”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

“Lol I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. You probably want to do all kinds of tests on me. Though fair warning, crosses, garlic and holy water doesn’t work on me. Crosses and holy water are for banishing pure evil like demons and evil spirits. Vampires aren’t pure evil. And garlic, honestly I’m not sure where humans got that idea, though I suspect maybe some humans ran into a vampire who was allergic to garlic when he was human and just kept forgetting he doesn’t have allergies anymore.” *shrug*

“Stakes…. Stakes aren’t specific to vampires, a stake to the heart will kill anyone. staking a vampire anywhere on our body other then our heart won’t kill us but it hurts like heck. I wouldn’t try testing that theory though, I personally have been tortured with wooden stakes and it was pure hell.”

“Hay pidge! Want some pizza?” 😁

Holds out a pineapple pizza.

get the FUCK away from me you FREAK of NATURE. GO. GET BACK 🤺

[the-vampire-lance]

Don’t worry, he’s not gonna tear the dress.

Oh thank god. I would hate for Keith to ruin his pretty dress after he got all dolled up for Lance. 😄

[the-vampire-lance]

“Lol ok ok. How bout this as a peace offering?”

Holds out a box of peanut butter cookies.

“I was just picking on you. Having some good hearted fun. Just wanted to mess with my favorite gremlin. No hard feelings?”

“Hay pidge! Want some pizza?” 😁

Holds out a pineapple pizza.

get the FUCK away from me you FREAK of NATURE. GO. GET BACK 🤺

[the-vampire-lance]

“Freak of nature? Isn’t that a little harsh? Are you saying that cause I’m a vampire or because I’m offering you pineapple pizza?”

“Hay pidge! Want some pizza?” 😁

Holds out a pineapple pizza.

get the FUCK away from me you FREAK of NATURE. GO. GET BACK 🤺

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance wracked his brain on whether or not Keith should transform for iris. If he does, what is a safe way to do it without drawing suspicion? The father could already tell they are hiding something and to have Keith leave just for a “lycanroc” to show up and Keith nowhere to be seen would come off as suspicious.

Little iris perked up at the mention of lycanroc. “Lycanroc is an awsome pokemon! All three of its forms. To think that a Rockruff could evolve based on the time of day is amazing! It just a shame that they aren’t native to sinnoh.”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance cocked an eyebrow at this.

“Oh you think I won’t do it? And you think I won’t come up with ways to make you take your medicine?”

Lance then held Keith’s chin, looked Keith square in the eyes, began his hypnosis and said “TRY. ME.”

“You want to Take your medicine Keith… you don’t want to make everyone sad do you?… if you die… everyone will be sad…. Especially shiro…. Shiro would be very disappointed in you…. You don’t want him to be disappointed in you do you?…. Take your medicine…. So shiro doesn’t have to be sad… he would miss you terribly if you died.”

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

Iris lite up. “You like kitty pokemon too?! That’s awsome! I bet you like fire type pokemon. Fire type pokemon have fiery passion and have a flare for adventure! My mom has a fire type pokemon. It’s a growlith. A canine type pokemon. Growlith is an awsome guard dog! He protects us from bad guys!” 

Iris’s dad heard her talk about he love for pokemon and laughed.

“She got started on her favorite pokemon didn’t she? Iris can talk your ear off for hours about cat and dog pokemon. They’re her favorite type.”

Lance smiled. “Bet she’d really like lycanroc then. Those guys are awsome. Right Keith?”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

Nothing Keith said was making Lance any less freaked out. If anything, it was making Lance freak out more.

“Is that supposed to making me stop worrying? Cause it’s not! You could literally STOP BREATHING! NOTHING ABOUT THAT IS OK! Now hold still and take your medicine so you don’t die!”

Lance found the right altean medicine to treat Keith’s condition and held it out to Keith.

“And if you try to tell me you don’t need it, I swear to god right now Keith, I WILL MAMMA BIRD THIS TO YOU IF YOU DON’T TAKE IT!

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance stopped and looked over at Keith narrowing his eyes.

“Your lactose intolerant , NOT Allergic?! Then why the hell did you comment that you would die faster?! Why would you eat dairy if it was gonna cause abdominal pains, bloating and diarrhea?! None of that sounds fun!”

Lance changed from searching for antihistamine to searching for probiotics.

Lance felt bad for giving Keith dairy. he should have asked if he had any allergies or problems consuming dairy.

He’s definitely gonna try looking for non-dairy foods for Keith for now on.

He catches Keith trying to leave.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING BUSTER! WE’RE TREATING THIS PROBLEM BEFORE IT GETS WORSE!”

Lance says pushing Keith right back down on the bed.

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

“Why are you laughing?! This is serious dude! I don’t want you to die faster! Coran where’s your antihistamine?! Do you Alteans have anything to treat an allergic reaction to dairy?!”

Lance started searching the medicine cabinet frantically for antihistamine.

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

“Nice to meet you Mr. Keith!” The little girl beaned at him.

As they were walking back to lance and her father, iris piped up “what’s your favorite pokemon? Mine is a skitty!”

Meanwhile Lance was conversing with the dad. The dad introduced himself telling Lance his name was Rainer.

“My wife is a police officer. When they transferred her here to vailstone, we had to pack up and move with her. Iris wasn’t happy about having to leave all her friends behind. But she knows her mom has a very important job.”

Lance nodded. “Yeah moving around can be tough. When Keith and I left our home, I got the worst case of homesickness. What’s your wife’s name anyway?”

“Jenny”

Lance held back a snort. “You married an officer Jenny? How do you even tell her apart from all the other officer Jennys?”

“Lol you know that is a really good question. And I gotta tell you, when I first dated her, I had a hell of a time telling her apart from the others. One time I accidentally took the wrong Jenny out to dinner and Jenny thought I was cheating on her with her cousin.”

They both laughed. “Omg how did you get out of trouble with that mix up?”

“Fortunately all Jenny’s understand the whole look alike confusion thing and she forgave me. She even got to helping me figure out how to tell them all apart. Which btw, is a bit easy once you know the very small details about each Jenny.

My wife, she has a tiny mole under her left eye. Her cousin has a mole under her right eye. Her second cousin twice removed has a growlith tattoo on her right arm that you can only see if she rolls up her sleeve. Her third cousin three times removed has a scar she got from a zubat on her right shoulder. Her other second cousin likes to wear blue lipstick and blue eyeliner and eye shadow.”

Lance was stunned. For the longest time he had always wondered how anyone ever tells officer jennys and nurse joys apart. Looks like the whole theory about them secretly being dittos is debunked.

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

“OMG! ARE YOU F@#&*#$ KIDDING ME?!?!?!” Lance screamed.

He used his vampire speed to grab the ice cream out of Keith’s hands, chuck it and then throw Keith over his shoulder and rush him to the infirmary.

He burst into the infirmary and shouted “CORAN! KEITH IS HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION! SAVE HIM!” Then plops Keith on the med bed.

“I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DIE FROM THIS, I WILL TURN YOU! YOU WILL NOT DIE ON MY WATCH MULLET!”

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

Lance paled when you said that.

“What?…….. Keith I want you to tell me right now. ARE. YOU. REALLY. ALLERGIC. TO. DAIRY?!”

Lance was internally freaking out now. He thought Keith would have declined and told him that he couldn’t eat dairy but then again, this is Keith we’re talking about.

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

The little girl giggled. This guy was fun.

“I’m gonna give you a big ol hug! That’s what I’m gonna do!”

She jumped up and gave him a hug. Her little arms wrapping around his neck.

“Thanks for playing with me. It’s hard moving to a new place where you don’t know anybody. You’re the first friend I made here. Thank you Mr.- hay I never even got your name! My name is iris.”

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.

[the-vampire-lance]

“No I found him. He’s hanging out with hunk. Something about trying to make the perfect smoothie.”

Lance watched Keith eat his fries and icecream.

“That’s stuff is pretty good huh? My hunk told me how good fries with ice cream is. So I Figured you might like it. My Keith can’t eat dairy. He’s allergic to it.” Then he pondered. “I wonder if I could find him a non-dairy ice cream he could eat. I hope they make non-dairy purple potamus ice cream.”

(Hangs upside down above Keith and covers his eyes) GUESS WHO! 😁

Keith: huh- NOT YOU AGAIN

*he backs away and pulls out the knife*

Keith: YOUR NOT WIFEING ME UP

[the-vampire-lance]

“YAY! IM QUEEN OF THE BALL PIT!” The little girl cheered then high fives Keith.

Lance and the father both smiled knowing full well what Keith was doing.

“Your friend is really good with kids. Bet he’d make one hell of a fun dad someday. Lol”

Lance laughed with him. “Yeah I can already imagine it. Him laying on the floor with his kids crawling all over him. lol” what Lance was picturing was Keith in wolf form laying on the floor while his puppy kids crawl all over and jumping on him. Also Tugging on his ears with their teeth and pouncing on his tail.

Meanwhile the little girl laughed and jumped on Keith, knocking him into the pit playfully.

“I got chu now Mr. lol” she says while on top of him.

Keith ran, jumped and landed, just like they practiced. Then he waited for the rock tomb to form and finish.

When Keith landed on the ground, Lance tapped his foot and sent the transmutation to shoot up in front of Keith and form pillars that folded together into a rock tomb.