#teach me how to be okay
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Maybe I should try harder. You should lower your expectations. 💕Paid of💕✨free of ✨
#me#girls who smoke weed#godshideouscreation#teach me how to be okay#I don't want to downplay my emotions
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Vi paint study
#Arcane#arcane season 2#Vi#arcane vi#pit fighter vi#my art#my artwork#digital art#fanart#artist#yes it’s painted#no I am not mentally okay#no I don’t know how I did#although I did give the Great British government 60k to teach me how to do art like this so that probably explains it tbh#I’m 60k in debt but hey at least I can render lesbians now
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ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.
#'all those tiktok girls who only like marvel films and' - why do you always say girls and women? are the guys filling opera halls instead?#'women in their mid 20s who still only read YA novels' okay sure that's an example and relevant discussions can be had#but it reminds me of the mocking tone in which people speak of 'chick-lit' to use women's interest as an indicator of lower value#while in fact women are reading more than men in EVERY single genre of fiction. Women are doing a lot of (often unpaid) labour#supporting libaries supporting theatres supporting cultural events#meanwhile there is a pretty big overlap between toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism#(especially misogyny and homophobia)#especially when it comes to things like ballet or opera or musical or generally dance#in fact it is often the female investment in specific things that makes them less 'valuable' in general consciousness#for thousands of years the theatre was well-respected and a high form of art - and now it's a 'wife-thing'#the father who will teach his son that theatre and dance are for girls - how is that never an example for anti-intellectualism
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having svsss au ideas beyond my station
thinking. shang qinghua goes on a mission as a young disciple to some town in fuckoff nowhere and finds himself in the qiu household. and there he finds a young shen jiu, undergoing the plot he originally intended for him and hadn't realised had become real and he's so young oh god hes so young why is he so small what do you mean that part was real, he hadn't kept it why is it real—
and he panics and sneaks him the Fuck out of that house
and he's not sure what to do but surely sending him to cang qiong will fuck up something in the plot and he can't come under even more investigation and cang qiong tryouts dont happen for months anyway and his system would probably never allow it (it doesnt. it would interfere with yue qingyuans story) but shen jiu is refusing to stay anywhere near this place and wants to learn cultivating to protect himself make sure nothing like this ever happens again and sqh panics harder and
calls mobei jun.
okay. on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. but he stumbles over himself and shushes baby shen jiu's very understandable freaking out and asks his king for the first thing hes ever asked for other than his own life.
is there any way this human child could learn cultivation in the demon world?
#svsss#shang qinghua#shen jiu#listen. i. okay. listen#first off. i need shang qinghua to just fucking spitball a lesson plan idea thats never even been heard of before in like 5 seconds flat and#absolutely floor mobei jun#i need this to turn partially into shen jiu freaking out over the courting hits and inadvertedly teach mobei jun about human culture#idk. they go to a brothel together#mbj is being dragged along by like a 10 year old visibly shrinking into his coat but imperiously demanding the most expensive courtesan that#fits into their budget so she can spend an hour informing this idiot that no#slapping your boyfriend is stupid and hurtful and also stupid in human culture and he would get arrested#unrelated tk that. sqh still being a spy for mbj in cang qiong and getting a mission years later to instate sqq/sj as the qing jing peak lor#d#poor guy is so so fucked#sj becoming mbjs assassin. hear me out#a human most trusted advisor slash spy and a human assassin truly mbj is making bank#sj is also sqh's assassin lowkey. man who is intensely furious and learned how to channel all that into productive murder instead of. well#how does this fit with lbh? with sy? with fucking oh god YUE QINGYUAN??? well we'll find out!
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the way they both sidled up to each other. the way they kissed under the moonlight. the way they set and respected each other's boundaries. the hand holding, the thumb war, the gentle smile, the "you won." this is the queer representation i needed. queer people being unapologetically queer in all the gentle, sweet ways we know.
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd season 2#ofmd s2#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#rhys darby#taika waititi#stede bonnet#edward teach#ofmd spoilers#i'm not okay i'm like. actually in tears#you don't understand how much it means to me#to see queer people just. being queer#not being plagued by it. no one throwing a big fuss about it. no one needing to explain anything to anyone#to try to show that your identity and existence is authentic#to have to fight for it because you're told you can't be authentic if you're queer#the gentle love they show for each other#that is what queer love is about
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First kiss
#Megumi is the more obsessive one I won't change my mind#standing on his tip toes asking Toji to teach him how to kiss#'you owe me after all the shit you put me through'#Guilt ridden Toji knows he should say no#but it's just a kiss so it's okay right??#tojigumi#toji x megumi#malifique art
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Sometimes I’m normal. Other times, I’m internally screaming about the brotherly relationship between Kai and Lloyd and giving myself a whole Ted Talk I’ve been developing for like three years about why I love them so much.
#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago kai#Im just really not normal about them#Like guys they are so family coded#Don’t imagine Lloyd giving Kai a huge hug after some of the traumatic stuff he’s been through#And trying not to cry because Kai gives GREAT big brother hugs#Also Kai always secretly wanting a younger brother but after his experience raising Nya#Was always like “okay maaaybeee not”#And then Lloyd was there and he was like “YOU ARE MY LITTLE BROTHER NOW KID DEAL WITH IT”#Kai teaching Lloyd how to cook#Giving him tips on controlling his powers#Did I mention I’m not normal about them?#I have such a rant I could give about all of this don’t test me#Im being so fr rn
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recommendations for @mail-me-a-snail & honestly everyone who follows me bc y'all know i give out recommendations like candy. i think especially you may like I think love is something that happens to other people and HOW TO BE A DOG (the latter is similar to Your Faithful Servant).
#zoneposting#poetry#some recommendations#my followers know ive never been normal or calm about poetry ever#oh god i forgot to update you guys that i recently won a 2k grant to establish a 3 year program to teach poetry to kids thru my poetry org#i wanna post some of the poems im gonna use esp since lots are in spanish/by latino authors#reminder to do that#n e ways i have so much more but im showing restraint (rattles the bars of my cage)#how to be a dog is rly similar to your faithful servant in structure and theme and actually i fear im composing a small essay abt it.#ALSO it is absolutely okay if none of these vibe with you--poetry is incredibly subjective & i passed over some of my favs to rec these#sometimes what rewrites one person is just words to another and that is more than alright#but i wanted to try to return the favor bc im adding your faithful servant to my poetry doc bc it honestly hit me spectacularly hard#& im very glad you decided to post it
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Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.
(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )
god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.
Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)
But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....
I was a fool
Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go
⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"
(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)
But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."
And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."
I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH
SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j
#LONG POST#sorry in advance if there were spelling errors I only proof read this a few times but im so tired we die like Chujin#Fun fact! I was sick again while I was typing this! But overtime I slowly felt better and I??????? WHHAHAAHSDHASD????????????#Staroba makes me so sick it cures me???? thats crazy (update: im sick again HAHAHAHAHAH)#There's so... SO MUCH more I want to say.#That includes Starlo slowly teaching her how to love again and Ceroba slowly opening up and letting herself accept his affection#What if Ceroba one day breaks and she just lets it all out and just cries in his arms kissing him cuz she cant take it anymore—#—shes apologizing profusely and overwhelming him with pent up frustration and bottled up love she doesn't allow herself to express—#—🦊“I-I'm sorry I'm so sorry.. I'm so selfish and greedy for this but I love you so much it hurts"—#—But he just smiles and lets her smother him... like shes kissing him while apologizing at the same time and he just keeps comforting her—#—saying things like ⭐:“it's okay” ⭐:“don't apologize” ⭐:“I'm fine”—#—bUT HE KEEPS GETTING CUT OFF WITH KISSES KAJSHDAHSDHDAJSHDASJDHASHDASHD IM BEING SO NORMAL ABOUT IT#OMG CHAT. HEAR ME OUT. CEROBA GETS BABY FEVER RAUGHGHGHHGHGHGHG IM SO OMG IM SO#*gets shot out of nowhere and falls down on the ground peter griffin style*#LM whispers#undertale yellow#undertale yellow spoilers#uty starlo#uty ceroba#staroba#character analysis
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JIWON ★ SUPERSONIC ★ STUDIO CHOOM
#fromis 9#fromis_9#ultkpopnetwork#kpopccc#jiwon#park jiwon#flash tw#*mgif#please believe me when i said i really tried with the colouring...#do people have a psd they use for choom or just pray to the heavens that whatever you're doing will turn out okay#someone teach me how to colour choom videos PLEEK#anyway have you super super supersonic supersonic today
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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MARS. POST THE DOODLE OF SCOTT AND CLEO CUDDLING AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
so I don't usually post doodles because I'm very self-conscious about their quality, but just for you harper
So that doodle was actually in a series of other doodles all in the theme of "literal sleeping together" because that's one of my favorite things ever, so I might as well put them all here then
#flower husbands#celestial duo#eclipse duo#whatever they're called honestly#widows alliance#chosen soulmates#mean gills#trafficblr#3rd life#last life#double life#limited life#dont talk to me about the anatomy of the flower husbands one its a doodle don't overthink it#this thing is just full of my headcanons#Scott's hair gets longer as the series goes on#pearl sleeps with her jacket because shes a freak/pos#Cleo teaches him how to braid it in double life and he carries over to martyn in limlife#scott is only wearing his jacket in double life because he's cold#scott has a tail in double life because I hc pearl to be a wolf hybrid in dl and he's bound to her#cleo planted flowers in his hair so they they can have matching traits like normal soulmates#mean gills are supposed to parallel flower husbands for reasons I'm not getting into rn#and widows alliance are supposed to parallel celestial duo#okay I will shut up now. never let me talk about scott smajor again#I didn't do secret life because 1 I couldn't figure out a pose for them#And 2 because I don't think they were close enough to ever sleep together
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Today's random headcanon is Gale becoming undeniably turned on by Tav's perfume, cologne, or beard oil.
Just imagine the distraction Tav could cause him. The rich, intoxicating scent drives him to distraction when his lover leans in for a kiss. His thoughts scatter as the scent overwhelms his senses, and he has to summon all his willpower not to ravage them on the spot.
Gale taking the time to breathe Tav in as he slowly kisses their face and strokes their hair. His eyes roll into the back of his head as that sweet, delicious scent sends all his blood rushing south.
If Tav has a beard, he buries his face into the soft hairs. Letting them tickle his cheeks as he rubs his face against theirs until his legs feel like jelly.
His favourite scent is all it takes to turn him into mush.
#gale dekarios#I can't write to save my life#Thinking about it this would work better with Tav towards Gale#This post is sponsored by my boyfriend's Geranium and Orange Blossom beard oil#It made me think of Gale and his scent kink#Is it okay for me to write a Gale MLM headcannon as a woman?#I do think he would appreciate a good beard oil#Perhaps Tav would have to show him how to use it since he has never had a beard before#That's a sweet short story idea#Along with a long haired Tav teaching him how to maintain his newly long hair
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wait a minute. me when i remember i can post traditional stuff.
#i feel bad for not posting stuff and then i remembered i have like. a ton of messy paper jrwi scribbles. so. explodes you.#jrwi#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#jay ferin#jrwi ollie#oliver teach#jrwi pretzel#kian stone#also a tiny queen but notenough to tag i think#avepharts#ohh also#future jrwi ollie#rogue/artificer ollie is real to me okay. he learn how to make things from ensa and jay. and he's a swashbuckler like chip. glad we agree.#oh ya ignore the guy in the first one. self-portrait. realised my aeroplane gear lowkey looked like a scifi character or something lol.
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“We’re runnin’ outta time!”
“Why can’t I do this?”
“I’m failing you.”
you know what gets me about this scene? other than my boy crying bc oh god i just wanna hug him i just had to rewatch it bc the raph edits in my fyp are BRUTAL
their expressions
ok not only are they drawn so well (you know what i mean like how well the style is maintained) but it’s the way that each of them look
look at how upset they are after seeing raph fall apart and letting it sit for a sec
LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME
LOOK AT MIKEY’S FACE— I WILL SOB.
#how often do you think he’s fallen apart in front of them???#not cry bc he’s done that multiple times in front of them#but showed how much the pressure gets to him??#i can only imagine he’d try to lessen these burdens on Leo once he becomes leader#bc lord knows he’d probably do the same as his brother and try carrying it on his own#but raph would be like i ain’t havin none of that#and teaches his bro how to balance things out now that he knows better#but god the way he just deliver ‘im failing you’ absolutely fucking wrecks me#i just wanna grab his face and be like#YOURE ALL DOING THE BEST YOU CAN WITH THE KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES YOURE NOT PREPARED FOR#ITS OKAY THAT YOU DONT HAVE THE ANSWERS#rottmnt#rottmnt screenshot#rise raph#rise donnie#rise mikey#rise leo
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movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow
#i say l umity bc they're my fave yardstick for romantic relationship progression#between two characters who're barely just starting to know themselves let alone their feelings#and bc they're cute. and i have been thinking abt (made sleepless over‚ really) sonic being SO ecstatic to find shadow alive#i just see movie!sonic being more physically affectionate n movie!shadow (w the both of them having already seen each other at their worst)#feeling less of a need to put up a front. not much to hide from the guy you pleaded with to kill you on the moon yk?#speeds over‚ loops his arms and spins him 'round#he would be SO excited to show shadow fun earth stuff#and on a deeper level‚ i think a liiiiiittle bit of it'd be projection#he knows their situations aren't the same. but yet again‚ here's another hedgehog in a strange new world#and he wants to give him everything he wished he'd had when he arrived#so he shows him crappy reality tv and new kinds of foods and other kinds of constellations‚#the proper way to give a fist bump (bc shadow was going to genuinely punch him and he had to explain)‚ and books from the library#they get more movies. sonic teaches him how to play mario kart. he knux and tails induct him into their baseball games#and sonic is delighted to find they have the same problem of hitting the ball Way Too Hard#he answers every question shadow has to the best of his ability#and like. the Main Thought that's been plaguing me is that one day he gets shadow a picture frame#and - idk how sonic got it‚ just roll with it - sonic reveals the picture of shadow and maria#and explains that tom had that section of his old cave‚ the one w the picture of longclaw excavated and preserved#and he doesn't know how tom did it‚ but now she's in his new home too. he doesn't have to leave her behind just bc he found somewhere new#basically trying to show him that it's okay to grieve and to KEEP grieving. that just bc you've been understood‚ that love goes away.#but yeah. they drive me nuts#sonadow#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sth
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