#absolutely floor mobei jun

[nenestansunsthings]

having svsss au ideas beyond my station

thinking. shang qinghua goes on a mission as a young disciple to some town in fuckoff nowhere and finds himself in the qiu household. and there he finds a young shen jiu, undergoing the plot he originally intended for him and hadn't realised had become real and he's so young oh god hes so young why is he so small what do you mean that part was real, he hadn't kept it why is it real—

and he panics and sneaks him the Fuck out of that house

and he's not sure what to do but surely sending him to cang qiong will fuck up something in the plot and he can't come under even more investigation and cang qiong tryouts dont happen for months anyway and his system would probably never allow it (it doesnt. it would interfere with yue qingyuans story) but shen jiu is refusing to stay anywhere near this place and wants to learn cultivating to protect himself make sure nothing like this ever happens again and sqh panics harder and

calls mobei jun.

okay. on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. but he stumbles over himself and shushes baby shen jiu's very understandable freaking out and asks his king for the first thing hes ever asked for other than his own life.

is there any way this human child could learn cultivation in the demon world?

[astrologysaysno]

Shang Qinghua core energy

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[ineffectualdemon]

We talked about how Shang Qinghua almost certainly grew up in an abusive household but today I want to talk about why he also has attachment issues like Binghe

Airplane sold his soul, his pride, and his story for profit. He wrote only to please the audience.

Anything they wanted they got as long as that put money in his pocket

And he did 10,000 words a day of this absolute pandering

Meaning he had basically nothing that was truly his

Except for one thing

He kept one thing for himself

His king

Once he's Shang Qinghua he knows meeting Mobei is inevitable and that it will end his life

But when they finally meet and he has the chance to kill Mobei to save himself he cannot do it

He could have just walked away too. He could have just left him to fate

But he couldn't do that either

Because Mobei was his

So he takes him and cares for him and spies for him and gets smacked around but always always follows after calling for HIS king

I don't believe Shang Qinghua ever even tried to grow a mushroom body for himself. I mean we see no evidence that he actually tried

I believe it's because the thought of his creation not needing him or going to someone else for support was intolerable

He jumps after Mobei on the ridge

He stays for days, hiding in the icy north, to protect Mobei from his Uncle

He comes back and only asks for noodles

Shang Qinghua is craftier than Luo Binghe. He's more subtle and keeps things to his chest more

But for all his month long (well deserved) pout Shang Qinghua was never going to leave

Mobei Jun is his

He is never ever letting go

But, and I say this as someone who has attachment issues, he's fairly mature about it. Mobei Jun is his own person and Shang Qinghua cannot dictate the nature of their relationship or ban his King from talking to people

Just like how Luo Binghe says in the extras he won't keep Shen Qingqiu locked away for ever because it would make him sad, realistically Shang Qinghua knows he can't keep his king all to himself

(though I doubt he's self aware about it)

But I think if someone managed to hurt/kidnap Mobei or Mobei started to, idk, stop Shang Qinghua from sticking to him like glue we'd see where Binghe got it from only it would be so much more

Honestly I want fics of demons scoffing at this dumb human but then say shit about Mobei behind his back and just make eye contact with Shang Qinghua from across the room and shit themselves

I wish I could draw the stare he gives people he thinks or knows are plotting against his king and how the demons in question end up widdling on the floor in sheer terror

[gutouhua]

ao3 / tip jar / comms open

wc: 5.3k+

tags: mentions of lbh & lqg, heavily implied bingqiu, mbj has horns, mentions of eating animal meat, mbj gives sqh bj & hj, some nipple play, mbj slaps sqh's ass like twice, spite & cum as lube, cum eating/swallowing, size kink, some dirty talk, mild urethra play if you squint (nothing inserted inside), multiple orgasms, anal sex, anal fingering, cockwarming, love at first sight for mbj, possessive mbj, we ignore canon and pretend their first time together was amazing, au, not beta read we die like s2 svsss

a/n: don't squint too hard at this, it's just my excuse to write this couple having hot seggs yeah. also i couldn't come up with a good title so here we are with this generic title :3 will probably maybe go back and edit this ;-;

“You are pretty too.” And he was, immensely so. So pretty, in fact, that he was the epitome of perfection in Shang Qinghua’s eyes. He’d never seen someone so much like his ideal type – never wanted to fuck someone so badly.

But he was not going to admit all that.

The diplomatic gala was exactly what Shang Qinghua thought it would be: a matchmaking spectacle with everyone packed onto the floor like sardines and fluffed up like gaudy peacocks.

And he wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

Shang Qinghua made a beeline for a server with a drink, ignoring the protests of his brother, Shen Qingqiu, and retreated to the corner to avoid human interaction. He most definitely did not want some impressionable young man or woman to think he was interested in them just because he was chatting politely and then have them send a formal marriage proposal along with a caravan of jewels and treasures come tomorrow morning. He shuddered at the thought.

He was about to down his third glass of wine for the night when he noticed a man, or rather, a demon, on the fringes of the crowd. Sapphire eyes and a sharp, aristocratic nose sat on a stony-faced pale blue canvas typical of the demons of the Red Lands. His shiny black hair was braided into a long tail down the back with silver-tipped horns jutting out from his thick mane. In the middle of his forehead was a dark blue demon mark – the mark of a Red Lands aristocrat.

He was stunningly attractive and exactly Shang Qinghua’s type: a pretty face with (what he liked to call it) a refrigerator body.

Mhm, delicious.

Suddenly, Shang Qinghua didn’t think this gala was a completely idiotic idea after all.

But he had no time to consider his gorgeous demon before someone announced that dinner was beginning soon, so he shuffled into the great dining hall and plopped into an ornate seat with his name labeled carefully on the back.

Shen Qingqiu took his seat next to him shortly, sighing deeply with his fan waving in short, quick motions despite the fact that it was quite chilly in the room.

“What took you so long?” Qinghua teased.

Shen Qingqiu only fanned harder, looking at him tiredly. “The banquet has not even officially begun, and I am already being run ragged.”

Shang Qinghua arched a fine brow, already knowing the answer. “The women?”

“And men.” He nodded tiredly.

“Well, that’s to be expected seeing as you’re the most eligible bachelor on the content. Well,” Shang Qinghua paused. “Aside from the demon king. But who would want to marry that barbarous man when you're around?”

“I am glad to see you have so much confidence in your brother, but sometimes I find that Mobei-jun has an easier time and it would be better to be him instead.”

“Mobei-jun?”

“Ah,” Shen Qingqiu amended. “Mobei-jun is the king of the Red Lands.”

“And you are on a first-name basis with him?” Shang Qinghua wondered when his brother got close enough to the demon king to call him so casually.

“A secret,” Shen Qingqiu chided him. “But don’t tell anyone. He doesn’t like to be called by that name, but I do it anyway.”

His brother was insufferable. “Can he not have you killed for that?”

“He loves me too much to do that.”

“Huh, so my brother does indeed have a secret love life that I don’t know about. I’m hurt.”

“Hmph, if only I had one.”

“What was that?” Shang Qinghua asked.

Shen Qingqiu looked away, suddenly finding the design on the plate before him to be very interesting. “Noth-”

“That was not nothing!” He interrupted. “You said–”

Heavy doors creaked open to reveal their dinner host and the room fell to a hush as if everyone had drawn one collective breath and was holding it in. And then he saw him – that beautiful horned demon. Shang Qinghua could not tear his eyes away from him and it appeared that everyone else felt the same.

The demon king made his way to the head of the table and turned his head toward Shang Qinghua’s direction, blue eyes piercing through him. “Shall we,” an icy-honeyed voice rolled through the room, “begin dinner?”

Everyone let out their breaths at the same time: the servants began moving and plating food, aristocrats turned toward their neighbors for conversation, and Shen Qingqiu began fending off the two women seated closest to them.

Shang Qinghua looked down at the table, cheeks burning from the encounter. Was he staring at me? Impossible. Why would he be looking at me? We've never met before and it’s not as if I'm the most handsome man or woman in the room – in fact, far from it. Ah, he’s so hot. I really want to jump his bones, but now that I know who he is…it seems almost impossible for me to do that. And he wouldn’t want me either. By the stars, he’s so attractive though and–

Shen Qingqiu broke off from the women for a moment after he noticed that Qinghua wasn’t eating. “Brother, is the food not to your liking? You’ve never been one to shy away from stuffing your face at banquets.”

Qinghua was too preoccupied to take note of his teasing, instead too focused on trying to stop his cheeks from burning. He was glad that the lighting was dim so that his brother wouldn’t tease him for it. “I think the king was staring at me just now.”

The meat on Shen Qingqiu’s silver fork balanced precariously mid-air on the edge of the prongs. “Why do you think he was staring at you?”

“Because his eyes were on me and in my direction? Pupils trained on me?” Shang Qinghua wasn’t some sheltered member of royalty. No, he knew when someone had their gaze on him. Had learned to feel and recognize it.

Shen Qingqiu put the meat in his mouth and chewed while humming. “Perhaps, when he saw you, he thought you the most beautiful person in the room and couldn’t help but stare at you.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Shang Qinghua almost burst out laughing before realizing that doing so would be highly inappropriate in the current situation so he stifled the urge by shoving a piece of lamb in his mouth. “If that is what he thinks, then he must be blind or a fool.”

“Why?”

Shang Qinghua pointed at himself as if it was obvious. “Because I am clearly not the most eye-catching person here. If he thinks so, then there must be something wrong with him. There are plenty of others here that are a hundred, no, a thousand times more beautiful than I am. I'm very plain and have no delusions about my appearance. A five out of ten on a good day. You know this, brother.”

Shen Qingqiu shook his head. “I do not, Qinghua. You must have more confidence in yourself. You are as beautiful if not even more beautiful than them.”

Qinghua knew his brother was trying to cheer him up, but it didn’t really make him feel any better. “That does not count," he muttered.

“Are you saying a king’s opinion is null?”

“Yes, when the king is my brother.” Shang Qinghua argued back while shoving a potato in his mouth.

“Hmph, then shall we ask our dinner host what his opinion is?”

“No!” Qinghua said quickly. “Why would you even ask him? He wouldn’t care about something trivial like this.”

Shen Qingqiu smirked at him. “So you care about his opinion of you? Are you smitten by him?”

“Absolutely not.” His answer was swift. “He looks so stoic and boring, and I want nothing to do with him.” But there was no mistaking the scarlet running across Shang Qinghua’s cheekbones.

“Dear brother, there is no need to fret. I won’t ask him that.”

Shang Qinghua visibly deflated in relief.

“At least in public.”

“What!”

“Don’t ‘what’ me! I’m only asking him for his opinion!” Shen Qingqiu said in defense.

“But I don’t want you to,” he whined.

“It’s a question from a friend to another friend. For curiosity’s sake. After all, you doubt my opinions so I should ask for another king’s opinions, should I not?”

Shang Qinghua groaned. “You are so embarrassing. Then please at least do it when I’m not in your presence.”

“Can’t promise that.” Shen Qingqiu skewered another piece of meat and put it in his mouth. “We’re going to go see him later and that might be my only chance to ask him before we leave.”

“What?” Shang Qinghua almost dropped his fork in his lap, barely catching it before the sauce dirtied his clothes. “What do you mean? You never told me we were going to have a private audience with him,” he hissed.

His brother looked innocently at him. “Did Liu Qingge not tell you? Hm, I should punish him for insubordination.”

Shang Qinghua would’ve bared his teeth at his brother if they had not been in public. “Don’t lie! You’re probably the one who told him not to tell me!” He cut his meat with heated anger, sawing at the poor tenderloin while imagining it to be Shen Qingqiu.

“Be nicer to the meat, Qinghua, what did it ever do to you?”

“Everything,” he seethed while continuing to knife the meat. “You know I hate socializing with aristocrats and now you want me to socialize with a king? And on top of it, with one I’ve never even met before! Are you out of your mind?” But at the same time, Shang Qinghua was hoping that he could somehow get into that demon king’s robes. If only.

“Brother, I just want him to meet you. And like what you said, you’ve never met him before. How are we to maintain good relations with the Red Lands if you never meet their king?”

We were doing just fine before all this, he thought, but outwardly, he agreed – it would probably be one of his only chances of meeting him. “Well, I’ll meet him, but I can’t guarantee I’ll like him.”

“That is enough for me.” Shen Qingqiu primly dabbed his mouth with a napkin, conveniently hiding a feline smile behind the fabric.

Still, Shang Qinghua looked at his brother suspiciously. Shen Qingqiu was oddly acquiescent today, but his appetite was back now so he focused on stuffing as much food in his mouth to avoid any further conversation from his brother and any neighboring aristocrats.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

After dinner, Shang Qinghua was escorted to the king’s study room. His brother had promised to be there later, but if the demon prince Luo Binghe hanging off his arm like an oversized puppy was any indication of what was going to transpire, Shang Qinghua knew his brother had left him to fend for himself.

But no matter. Shang Qinghua could deal with a lone demon king. Probably.

So Shang Qinghua sat in his plush seat before the king’s desk, obediently waiting for the king despite wanting nothing more than to go back to his room and sleep. The food coma was kicking in and combined with the relaxing incense, warm draft, and comfortable seat, Qinghua was about to sleep and–

“Prince of the Black Lands, Shang Qinghua.”

He bolted straight up, turning dizzily to find the source of the deep voice. Blue eyes glowed in the shadows before Mobei-jun seemed to materialize in front of him, a flurry of fur and black robes, ice and dominance.

“D-Demon King.”

Mobei-jun frowned. “So it seems that moniker is more popular than I thought.”

Shang Qinghua tried something different. Maybe he didn’t like being called ‘demon king.’ “My king?”

Mobei-jun showed no indication of his feelings aside from a grunt.

‘My king’ would have to do then. Shang Qinghua certainly wouldn’t dare to call a stranger, who was a king no less, by their given name.

“Where is your brother? I am told I would be meeting the two of you.”

“Ah, he–” Shang Qinghua paused, trying to find a good way to word it. “He was last seen with your brother. I’m not sure what business he has with him.”

“Hmph.” Mobei-jun grumbled. “Your fiend of a brother with that brother of mine who's always so clingy and horny...I know exactly what he’s doing with your brother. Or rather, to your brother.”

Shang Qinghua was pretty sure his jaw would’ve been wide open in shock if he wasn’t in the presence of a foreign king right now. “I-I apologize for my brother’s actions. He’s been known to fall prey to pretty faces. And your brother does have one…”

“What about me?” The question was sudden and unexpected.

“What?”

Mobei-jun repeated himself. “What about me?”

“You?” Shang Qinghua squeaked out. “You want my opinion of you?”

He nodded, looking expectantly at him. It was a command and it was to be answered regardless. Fine. He would tell this king what he wanted to hear.

“You are pretty too.” And he was, immensely so. So pretty, in fact, that he was the epitome of perfection in Shang Qinghua’s eyes. He’d never seen someone so much like his ideal type – never wanted to fuck someone so badly.

But he was not going to admit all that.

“Shang Qinghua, come closer.” Mobei-jun's eyes bore deep into Qinghua, so deep that he felt an ache in his soul.

He inched closer to him but kept his distance.

“Closer.”

A scoot forward.

“Closer.” This time there was impatience in his voice.

Qinghua moved so close he could feel the demon king’s cold aura radiate in waves. He shivered when he felt cold winds trail dangerously close to him.

“Tell me the truth,” he murmured. And there it was again, that piercing, cold gaze that seemed to numb Shang Qinghua – and make him want to do anything Mobei-jun said.

“You are indeed very pretty, my king. Very handsome – there is nothing you lack in looks.”

“But there is something I lack?” Mobei-jun was not angry, merely curious.

One would be hard-pressed to find something Mobei-jun lacked. He was the demon king of the Red Lands, after all, with dominion over all in the land and unparalleled powers. His handsome features and muscled physique was not lost on Shang Qinghua either. But if there was something he lacked…

“Softness.” Shang Qinghua ventured hesitantly. “You lack softness, my king.”

“Hmph.” Mobei-jun rearranged his heavy robes and shed the outer layer, perfuming the air with his spicy peppermint scent that seemed to grow stronger with each layer he removed. “I can be soft.”

Shang Qinghua doubted that such a stern-looking demon known for his harshness could be soft, but he did not want his brother to get mad at him for making the demon king angry. So he kept his mouth shut.

Mobei-jun narrowed his eyes. “You do not believe me?”

Shang Qinghua rushed to reassure him. Already, his plan to seduce and appease was failing. “Of course, I believe you, my king!”

“Mobei-jun," he demanded.

“W-what?”

“That is my name – call me that.” It was a command. There would be no room for discussion.

“Yes, my king.”

“Mobei-jun.”

“Mobei-jun,” Shang Qinghua muttered.

The king – no, it was Mobei-jun now, smiled upon hearing his name, revealing white, gleaming teeth. “And I can show you softness if you will allow me.”

Shang Qinghua nodded (for what else was he supposed to do) and kept his eyes trained on those pointed teeth. Mobei-jun brought pale lips and sharp teeth to his face, and Shang Qinghua felt like he was going to faint. By the stars, the demon king was going to eat him.

But what came was not the rip of flesh and hot blood, but spicy peppermint and tenderness – Mobei-jun pressed his lips against Qinghua’s, nipping lightly at the edges while slowly rimming the seam of his warm lips with his cold tongue. The heady combination of Mobei-jun’s spicy scent and cool lips relaxed Shang Qinghua so much that he didn’t even notice when Mobei-jun slipped his tongue in between his, eagerly seeking out Qinghua’s tongue in a tangle of flesh and saliva – as if he wanted to mate their tongues together until they became one.

Shang Qinghua was sure he was drooling at this point and looking very undignified but Mobei-jun tasted too good to let go and who knew when he’d be able to kiss such a delicious man again – if ever? So he gripped his sharp horns, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction when the demon groaned against his lips, tongue faltering ever so slightly in its frantic dance.

Ah, so his horns are sensitive.

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up: Shang Qinghua slid his hands down to the base of Mobei-jun’s horns and scratched lightly, causing the king to pull back from the kiss, leaving a light string of saliva in the wake of their passion. They were both gasping now and Mobei-jun’s cold eyes were most certainly anything but cold now.

“D-Don’t touch my horns. They’re very sensitive.” He shuddered as if the thought of it was overwhelming.

Shang Qinghua let out a small smile. “But my king, they are so very pretty – how can I neglect them?”

If he noticed that Shang Qinghua had reverted back to calling him ‘my king,’ he made no comment about it. Instead, Mobei-jun turned, blushing lightly. “Still, for us demons, touching someone’s horns is like…” He trailed off, too embarrassed to say the rest.

“Touching someone’s penis?” Shang Qinghua pretended to guess. He was an avid reader and writer, those words were like child’s play to him. No word was too crude. Just unused and untried. “Dick? Cock?” His smile grew wider when Mobei-jun visibly squirmed under those words.

“Yes,” Mobei-jun mumbled.

“Hm, then I should touch them more, shouldn’t I? Does it not feel good?”

“It does.” He replied with a small pout. Then he paused for a second, looking heatedly at Shang Qinghua with those cold, sapphire eyes. “But I’d rather make you feel good.”

How could anyone have mistaken this demon for being as cruel as his uncle?

Shang Qinghua prostrated himself in mock deference to Mobei-jun with palms pressed against the floor, forehead resting above his hands. “Your wish is my command, my king. How do you wish to have me?”

The demon picked Shang Qinghua up in one fluid motion before setting him down gently on sumptuous silk bedding as if he had plucked a delicate flower and was trying to keep it from wilting. He pulled a pillow over and gently tucked it under Shang Qinghua’s hips while Qinghua began pulling off his many layers of clothing. And when Shang Qinghua was laid bare for his king’s pleasure, Mobei-jun kneeled in between his legs, unmoving, like a beautiful icy statue.

Shang Qinghua was confused. Wasn’t this the part where they would fuck like bunnies until the morning? “What’s wrong?”

“I–” Mobei-jun swallowed thickly. “I want to commit your image to memory. To burn it into my eyes, my mind, my entire soul until you are all I think about, all I see, and all I remember.”

“T-That’s nice,” Shang Qinghua stuttered, brain shortcircuiting from the intense romancing he was receiving today. “But why don’t we focus on other things first.” His dick twitched in agreement.

Mobei-jun pulled his gaze down, focusing intently. “Yes, other things,” he murmured.

The bed dipped low as he lowered himself to the bed and pushed Qinghua’s thighs apart before planting a languid, cool kiss directly on the tip of his cock where precum leaked.

Shang Qinghua's hips rose instinctually off the pillow as if offering himself to Mobei-jun, and he moaned hard. “Ah, my king.”

Mobei-jun decided then and there that he liked it when Shang Qinghua moaned for him so he kissed his cock again, licking the full length in order to not waste any of his Qinghua’s precious seed. Slowly, he lapped at the fat tip before working it into his mouth, savoring and licking each ridge and vein, careful to give the whole length equal attention.

Shang Qinghua’s dick was not nearly as big as his, nor any other demons for that matter, so despite swallowing it whole – so that his nose bumped against Qinghua’s smooth tummy – it did not reach the back of his throat. But Mobei-jun didn’t mind since it was just another reminder of how cute and small his little human prince was.

As Mobei-jun continued to bob his head along Shang Qinghua’s cock, relishing the musky floral scent flooding his senses and the pretty cries of his human prince, Qinghua’s hips began to fervently push against his mouth, moans growing louder. Mobei-jun couldn’t help reaching up to tweak a pinky nipple – it was so perky and hard that it was almost impossible for him to ignore. The way it stiffened in the air was almost as if it was reaching for his attention. He could not ignore it.

Shang Qinghua came as soon as Mobei-jun pinched his nipple, unable to stop himself from spilling himself in Mobei-jun’s mouth from the combined sensation.

“Ha, fuck, that felt so good,” he panted.

Mobei-jun smiled against Qinghua’s cock, pleased with the fact that he was able to make him cum. He swallowed the semen that sat warmly in his mouth – so warm that it almost burned his cool throat – and spit some of it out on his hand, the creamy liquid spiraling with his pale blue saliva to create an erotic mixture of body fluids.

Shang Qinghua looked down in embarrassment and flushed deeply. “You didn’t have to swallow it, my king. You could’ve just spit it out.”

“And let such precious seed go to waste? That would not be a very kingly thing to do, Shang Qinghua.”

There was absolutely nothing kingly about this entire situation, but Shang Qinghua didn’t bother pointing that out.

“And besides,” Mobei-jun continued, as he gently rolled Qinghua over so that the pillow was under his stomach now. “I need it for you. It won’t feel good if there’s nothing in there. It’ll hurt.” He frowned, pondering the idea. “You do know how sex between two men works, do you not, Shang Qinghua? Or is that not something they teach the humans of the Black Lands? Perhaps I should stop for now and–”

“No!” He’d perish if Mobei-jun stopped. “Of course they do!”

Mobei-jun slapped Qinghua’s ass lightly, pale cheeks turning the loveliest shade of pink. He would have to do that more often if Shang Qinghua allowed him. “Then behave,” he ordered.

Shang Qinghua promptly shut up.

Mobei-jun looked at the mixture in his palm – it wasn’t quite the amount he wanted so he spitted into his palm again until he was pleased with the amount before spreading Shang Qinghua’s ass to drip the saliva-mixed cum over Qinghua’s puckered hole. Mobei-jun let out a groan as it twitched as if to suck everything in. He slowly pushed a finger inside, lightly massaging Shang Qinghua’s rim, testing the small space, before he added another finger and then a third, making sure everything was slippery and wet and ready for him.

Shang Qinghua whimpered against the stretch, but it still wasn’t enough for him. “Please, my king, more. I need more.” I need you.

“Wait.” Mobei-jun’s tone was patient. “You are not ready yet.” He ignored his straining cock – rushing things would make the experience unpleasant. There would be opportunities later for him to take Qinghua fast and hard, but today was not the day.

Mobei-jun continued his slow thrusts in and out of Shang Qinghua’s hole until he could comfortably slide his fingers knuckles deep. Already, he could tell it would be a tight fit (demons and humans were not the most compatible), but he knew that his human prince would be able to take him. He slid his fingers out, enjoying the lewd squelch Qinghua’s ass made and used what remained of the mixture to coat his hard shaft, careful to cover every last inch while holding himself in. He was so ready to spill himself, but he would only do so in Shang Qinghua.

“Qinghua,” Mobei-jun said softly, gently prying open his ass cheeks to rest his heavy length against soft, peachy globes. Again, he itched to slap it, to make it blush bright red and see Qinghua twitch – he knows that his human prince would writhe so beautifully before him – but that would be for another time. “Are you okay? Ready for me?”

Underneath him, Shang Qinghua moaned and unconsciously pushed his ass towards Mobei-jun’s hips, seeking friction against his aching hole while Mobei-jun continued to rub his cock between his ass. His voice came out as a shaky breath. “Yes, my king, please, put it in.”

Being at his limit and unable to reject such a desperate request from his human prince, Mobei-jun began to carefully slide himself into Shang Qinghua, gritting his teeth when he felt a vise-like grip around his cock, eyes watering when he filled Qinghua completely with his balls resting against his perineum.

“Ha, Qinghua, you’re so tight.”

Shang Qinghua’s response came out in ragged breaths. “And you’re…you’re so big.”

Mobei-jun smiled and gripped Qinghua’s lithe hips. “Humans are so tiny that there is no helping it. And bigger only means I can fill you better.”

Compared to the veiled riddles that humans often spoke in, demons were so straightforward. Shang Qinghua buried his face in the pillows, trying to ignore the embarrassment he felt – there was nothing to be embarrassed about since they were already in such a compromising situation, but he felt it nonetheless. No one had ever been this straightforward with him before, not even his own brother.

“Just move,” he grumbled.

“Your wish is my command, Qinghua.” But Mobei-jun dragged his thick cock out of Shang Qinghua at what felt like a snail’s pace and thrust slowly back in, continuing like this until Qinghua felt like he was going to go mad if he didn’t move any faster.

“Faster, my king, you move too slow.”

“Oh? Then you have to tell this king exactly how you want it. Go ahead.” Mobei-jun caught Qinghua’s lips in his, sucking his tongue lightly. “Qinghua,” he whispered, voice so honeyed that Shang Qinghua was pretty sure it’d be impossible to deny him anything. “Tell me what you want.”

Qinghua gulped. It was his turn to be shy now. He hesitated. “I want…I want you to move faster. Inside me.”

“What part of me do you want to move faster inside you? My fingers?” He began to pull his length out stopping when Shang Qinghua whined and reached for his hips.

“No,” he whimpered, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. “I want your…cock.”

That’s all it takes for Mobei-jun to slam his hips into Shang Qinghua’s. “Of course, you can have my cock, Qinghua. You can have it in whatever,” he pulled out only to thrust back inside harshly again, “Way you like.”

Qinghua swayed underneath the force, moaning hard when Mobei-jun began to pound rhythmically into him, breath catching when he hit a particularly soft spot deep inside him. He continued to press his face into the pillow, clenching the sheets around him while focusing on the delicious weight above him and the cold hands that circled his waist.

He was getting close, so close – he could tell by the way his cock ached fiercely and hung heavy in between his thighs. He just needed a little bit more to tide him over the edge so he reached down to grip his length, pumping roughly while fondling his sensitive tip.

“Don’t do that.” Mobei-jun panted.

“W-Why?” Even he could hear the ache in his voice. “I’m so close.”

Mobei-jun narrowed his eyes. “Your pleasure can come from no one but me,” he said harshly. “I’ll do it.”

He pushed Shang Qinghua’s hands away to grasp his length, causing Qinghua to jolt at the cool fingers against his hot, throbbing dick. “Ah, fuck,” he gasped. “That feels so good – just like that, keep rubbing it hard.”

Mobei-jun wouldn’t have stopped even if his life depended on it. Qinghua’s cock felt so good in his hands that he didn’t even want to stop. “Does it feel good, Qinghua? Which do you like better? My mouth or my hand?” He lowered himself so that his lips brushed the tips of Qinghua’s ear. “Or my cock?”

Too fucked out of his mind from Mobei-jun’s continuous thrusting, Shang Qinghua could only pant out a haphazard reply. “My king, ah, fuck I–, a-all of them feels good. They all feel good.” Mobei-jun squeezed particularly hard then, pushing lightly against Qinghua’s urethra so that cum seeped out. “Shit, ah, I’m gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”

“Then cum.”

His whispered command made the coil in Shang Qinghua snap, and he came so hard he swore he saw stars. Mobei-jun grunted when he felt Qinghua’s slick pool in his palm and seep through his fingers. Anything that came from his Qinghua was precious though, so he brought his fingers to his lips, taking the time to lick it clean off his hands.

“A-again!” Shang Qinghua flushed deeply. “You don’t have to do that…”

“But I want to.” And he was serious about it. Everything that came from Qinghua was a priceless treasure. And Mobei-jun wanted to rip another pretty orgasm from his Qinghua and find release for himself, so he continued to fuck Shang Qinghua through his orgasm, rutting his hips against his. “Qinghua,” he asked. “Can you give me another one?”

Surely another one would be too much. “I-I don’t think so, my king.” Shang Qinghua clenched hard when Mobei-jun slid deep inside. “I-It’s too much.”

“I think you can give me another one though? I want to see your pretty face when you come undone for me. Will you cum for me?”

Such sweet, warm words from such a cold person. How could Shang Qinghua resist his king? “I–”

Mobei-jun could feel Qinghua’s hole ripple against his hard length, milking him, bringing him closer to release. His Qinghua would only need a little more coaxing.

“You take my cock so well, Qinghua, so tight, so pretty and pliant for me. Will you give me another orgasm? I want to feel you squeeze my cock – only then will I cum. After you.”

Shang Qinghua squeezed his eyes shut. Damn this man and his dirty yet flowery words – he knew just how to get to him. He felt his release a few seconds later, his dick throbbing hard from the consecutive orgasm before Mobei-jun suddenly pulled him up into a sitting position to rest his back against his hard chest.

“Ah,” Shang Qinghua gasped. “What are you doing?” In this position, Mobei-jun sank deeper inside him, so deep that his cock seemed to press against Qinghua’s prostate. “My king, if you do that, I’ll–” Mobei-jun didn’t say anything but Shang Qinghua could feel him get bigger before his hips stuttered and he felt hot liquid spill against his prostate at the same time Mobei-jun bit his neck hard, making Shang Qinghua cum a third time. “I’ll c-cum,” he wailed.

Mobei-jun rocked beneath him, riding out his high while Qinghua lay limply in his arms. “Ah fuck, Qinghua, you felt so good.”

At this point, Shang Qinghua was too tired to do anything. He rested against Mobei-jun’s cool chest while Mobei-jun gently moved him so he was laying down, adjusting the pillows and blankets so they could rest comfortably. He left his cock inside Shang Qinghua the entire time, and Qinghua wondered when he was going to take his cock out, but even when he softened and had settled into the blanket and his breathing slowed, he did not take it out.

“My king?”

“Yes, Qinghua?”

Was this something he could say? Or would Mobei-jun get mad? Shang Qinghua decided he’d say it anyway. “Are you going to take it out?”

Mobei-jun slit his eye open. “Take what out?”

“Your…dick.”

“Of course not, what a silly question.” He shut his eye, dragging Qinghua closer to his chest, and said nothing else – as if the argument was finished.

Shang Qinghua didn’t really mind – he just felt a bit stuffed down there and full (he wasn’t used to it), but it felt oddly good, and he supposed this wasn’t going to be a common occurrence, so he let Mobei-jun be.

“Goodnight then, my king.”

Mobei-jun huffed.

It was only when Shang Qinghua fell asleep did Mobei-jun dare to speak.

“Goodnight, Shang Qinghua.” And then, after a pause, and in a low voice, as if he was afraid someone would hear him, he said, “I have loved you since the moment I met you…eight years ago on that fated night. And I will never let you go now that you are in my grasp.”

red lands & black lands come from egyptian mythology - set ruled over the red lands and Horus ruled over the black lands to balance each other out.

i just realized that i have a terrible habit of making things one-shots but putting tidbits of info that make you wonder what happened to warrant that info & whatnot (like the flashback in my previous chilumi fic *cries*).

anyway, moshang nation come get your crumbs!

come yell at/with me on the bird app (where i'm more active)

[tossawary]

What the hell is Didi going to SOUND LIKE. He's being raised by one word only mobei, and all the words Shang? Like, the little extra at the end with him laying on the floor makes me think that shang is gonna come on to here. and that Didi is gonna take after his "papa" with a side order of lots of dramatic body language. or is it going to be more of, no words when serious, and so many words when i like you, sorta thing?

I was kind of imagining that after Didi gets over the bratty child phase and goes through the rebellious teenage phase, he would just be... exceptionally even-keeled and generally good-natured, a self-proclaimed and self-aware and self-indulgent spoiled brat, here for a good time and to make his “parents” proud. He’s got the Mobei-Jun glare when he’s upset and dislikes someone, then babbles and talks with his hands like Shang Qinghua when he’s excited. 

I like the idea of Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua raising a kid who becomes a person neither of them really expected (his own person, independent of them), who has clearly has a good life, and has no doubts that he’s loved. Like, absolutely none. Totally unlike MBJ and SQH’s childhoods. So he can knowingly act silly and dramatic and overconfident and a little bit carefree (his best friend is Sha Hualing, so that helps) in the full knowledge that his “parents” will indulge him and look after him. A far cry from a scared, bitey child. 

(I was already trying to slip in the idea that Mobei-Jun is doing his best to raise Didi to be able to be happy. He’s just struggling with shitty family stuff.) 

I can’t remember who mentioned this, but yeah, Didi would absolutely tag along on Sha Hualing’s bullshit ideas and the Immortal Alliance Conference, etc.. Shang Qinghua would probably try to ground him from this plot-relevant bullshit (Didi: “It was Sha Hualing’s idea.” Shang Qinghua: “Then you KNOW it’s a shitty idea!”), but it doesn’t help that Mobei-Jun’s opinion here of teenage demon antics is probably: “Did you win? It’s fine if you won.” 

[vodkassassin]

LiuShangMo and LQG seeing MBJ being handsy with SQH and throws hands. That's *his* squirrelly fellow Peak Lord! SQH is scared and horny, while MBJ is dazed and like "Oh no I want both" while getting thrown through walls.

Wow Cher, go take a drink of water, you sound a little thirsty there 👀

I think I gave Shang Qinghua too much power in this... eh. When you snap, you snap! He deserves it. @cherfleur

—

Shang Qinghua drops the scrolls onto the large, ornate desk with a heavy sigh, wiping one hand across his brow. He looks down at them and contemplates just leaving them there for future-Qinghua to deal with, but the voice of reason at the back of his head makes a sarcastic quip about how well that always works out for him, and how he’s always so exhausted whenever he finally does return from a long day only to find unfinished work that he’d procrastinated, and so he resigns himself to sorting through them now.

Each scroll gets slotted neatly into its respective shelf above the desk, a miniature library of diamond-shaped holes that expand just above the area of the workspace. There’s another shelf to the left of the desk that rises up from the floor and reaches halfway up the wall toward the vaulted ceiling, veritably filled with even more scrolls and work that honestly Shang Qinghua would love to never have to ever think about again, but….

Even if he never actually signed up for this, it still is technically his job. So.

He slides scroll after scroll into the loose system of organization he has going on here, far less complicated than the one he’d had to design for the actual, legitimate library of the Eternal Winter Palace. Shang Qinghua can still remember the soul-consuming, absolute horror he’d experienced the very first time he’d walked into that place, when Mobei Jun had been showing him around, years ago. If he hadn’t remembered the details of the demonic history he had plotted for this part of the Realms in his first life before, then he certainly knew all of it and then some after he’d been forced to, for the safety of his own mind, reorganize the entire, expansive ancestral libraries of the ice demons. An endeavor which had taken him just under a decade to complete.

The demons, it seems, had little to no sense of organization in their lives. They just wrote down what needed to be written and then stashed said document or scroll into the dark library to never be seen again. Heavens forbid if anything needed to be dug up for later referencing. No fucking wonder the political atmosphere of the demon realms were so stagnant and slow.

Anyway. They weren’t like that anymore! Shang Qinghua has since taught them all better. Every single demon in the palace, from Mobei Jun to the youngest kitchen maid, knows the system of organization that Shang Qinghua has worked so hard to put into place, as well as what would happen if any of them were to ever attempt to somehow mess it up.

“Hey,” a bored and impatient voice sounds from behind him. “Are you done?”

At the demand, Shang Qinghua turns away from his desk and gives his companion a narrow glare.

“You know, you didn’t have to come with me,” he shoots back, annoyed.

Liu Qingge’s arms are crossed over his chest, and he glares right back at him from where he’s leaning against the door of Shang Qinghua’s palace suite.

He mutters something, and Shang Qinghua raises an eyebrow, planting one hand on his hip. “What was that?”

“I don’t trust these demons. Had to make sure.”

“Make sure of what?” Shang Qinghua asks, exasperated. “That they’re not planning to attack the sect? That I’m not giving them inside information?”

Liu Qingge scowls. He’s such a scowly man. Shang Qinghua doesn’t remember writing him like this. “No,” the swordmaster says shortly. “I— We know you’re not. Nobody thinks that, not anymore.”

“Then what are you here to ensure? That I’m safe? Because I am safe, Liu-shidi. I’m safer here than I could be anywhere else.” Thanks to his king, there hasn’t been a single attempt on Shang Qinghua’s life in two years! It’s honestly a new record. It just proves how much of a valued and efficient worker Shang Qinghua is considered in the palace. Makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

For some reason, however, his words only make Liu Qingge even grumpier. The man’s hand clenches around the hilt of his sword and he makes a very angry face. Thankfully, it’s aimed at the ground and not at Shang Qinghua, so he knows that Liu Qingge isn’t exactly enraged with him. The fact that he’s enraged at all, though, is still a little nerve wracking.

Shang Qinghua takes a tiny step back. This makes Liu Qingge glare even more fiercely, and the An Ding peak lord does his best not to tear up out of frustration. What the hell is wrong, Liu-shidi? Please tell him, so Shang Qinghua can find some way to fix it so that you’ll stop looking so scary!

Liu Qingge huffs, turning away from him to stare out of the open door instead of at him, like he’s some sort of guard.

“Shidi…” Shang Qinghua hedges, fidgeting with the tail end of his hair ribbon and biting his lip in thought. Is the man even going to answer him?

“There are many powerful demons in this palace,” Liu Qingge finally says, shortly.

Shang Qinghua can feel his soul already exiting his body. “Liu-shidi! Please don’t challenge anyone here to a fight! They take it very seriously in the demon realm! There’s no such thing as sparring. It’s all just fights to the death. If you challenge one of them, they’ll definitely take you up on it!”

Ah! That was absolutely the wrong thing to say! Liu Qingge glances over his shoulder, face thoughtful and considering, and Shang Qinghua can see the glint that enters his eye at his words.

“Shit, no, I meant — Liu-shidi! Liu-shidi, come back here!”

Too late, Shang Qinghua! He’s already out the door, stalking down the hallway like a tiger on the prowl. Fuck Shang Qinghua’s life, honestly. The An Ding peak lord’s shoulders slump, and he hangs glumly from where he’s grabbed onto the door frame, staring down the now-empty corridor with dead eyes.

“Please behave, Liu-shidi,” he whispers. It’s a prayer that he already knows isn’t going to be answered. “... Goddammit.”

Since it’s highly unlikely that Shang Qinghua would catch up to his fellow peak lord before Liu Qingge could make good on his desires and goad a fight out of someone, he decides to leave this, at least, as a problem that is definitely for future-Shang Qinghua to worry about. He closes the door and walks mulishly back over to the desk, grabbing a scroll off the shelf and sitting down to get to work on calculating the tax deficiencies for this month's collection from the merchants in the capital.

Because there is always deficiencies, and the treasury staff of the palace are…. They’re just not really mathematicians. They’re just highly susceptible toward making too many mistakes in the overall count, and mistakes only exist to make Shang Qinghua’s job more difficult. So, he’d long ago told them to just worry about the count of their own departments, and leave the final calculations to him.

It’s a good hour later that the door opens again, and Shang Qinghua is so deep in the slog of long multiplication that he doesn’t even notice someone else is in the room until a large hand settles roughly over his head.

He sits up with a startled sound, lifting his hands to right his hairpiece that’s been knocked askew, even as his face is forcibly turned around and he gets a big eye full of bare chest and black furs.

He blinks, and then jolts out of his chair to stand at his feet and give the scowling Mobei Jun a bow. “M-My king! Forgive me, I didn’t see you come in.”

Shang Qinghua cringes at his own words, glancing fleetingly up from beneath his eyelashes at the demon, who only continues to stare down at him in a glower. Why is his king so goddamn scary all the time? Doesn’t he have any other expression? Why is he so much like Liu Qingge?

And why, oh heavens why, is it so attractive?

You useless fucking gay, Shang Qinghua berates himself from the safety of his own mind. Focus! Let’s do our best not to get beat up today! We’ve been doing so well!

“U-Um, my king…” he tries, hands desperately trying to both keep his hair in order but also not rudely knock the king a hand away. “M-My hairpiece….?”

Mobei Jun’s icy cold stare moves from Shang Qinghua’s face up to his previously neat half-bun, and he finally removes his hand. The peak lord breathes a sigh of relief, fixing his hair while the king takes half a step back and instead looks over his desk, where there are half open scrolls and an ink stone that has been brought nearly to the end of its usefulness.

“You’re working?” Mobei Jun asks, reaching out to touch a finger to the edge of one of the scrolls.

Delicate, tiny vines of frost swirl out from beneath his fingertips and into the paper, and Shang Qinghua makes a noise of panic as he reaches forward to snatch the scroll out from under his King’s hand before the ice can ruin the paperwork.

Mobei Jun retracts his hand, expression dark.

“M-My king…” Shang Qinghua quails, stuffing the scroll into a random empty space on the shelves, disregarding the organization system entirely. He takes the smallest, tiniest step backwards, but the desk hits the back of his legs.

“Shang Qinghua.” Mobei Jun says, simply. It’s enough to send the alarm bells ringing in the peak lord’s head.

The king reaches out the same hand, Frost still costing his long, pale fingers, and Shang Qinghua uselessly ducks his head as if there is any way he could possibly dodge the touch.

He expects his king to grab him by the ear, or the hair, or even the chin like he so often does, but instead the wall next to Shang Qinghua’s desk explodes.

Hm.

That…. What?

Shang Qinghua opens eyes he doesn’t recall ever closing, to stare incredulously at the spot where Mobei Jun had previously been standing. The king is no longer there, the room entirely empty except for Shang Qinghua himself, and here is a large, gaping hole torn in the wall to his left.

It takes a few seconds for Shang Qinghua to reboot from his shock, but once he does he slowly walks over to the hole and climbs over the rubble and debris that decorates the floor and peers out of it into the outer hall that it now connects his suite to.

Ah, there his king is, several yards away, brows pulled down in a deep scowl and blade crossed with a rather vicious and antagonistic looking Liu Qingge.

Shang Qinghua figures that he should have probably guessed.

He watches the two in silence as they go at one another as if they’re trying to kill each other, as they most probably are. Liu Qingge makes to go for his king’s throat, but Mobei Jun summons a jagged spear of ice to redirect his blade and bring his own blade, shimmering and blue just like the outer walls of the palace, around toward Liu Qingge’s unprotected side.

Liu-shidi isn’t the peak lord of Bai Zhan for nothing though, and quickly reveals the weakness as only a bluff, taking advantage of the placement of Mobei Jun’s blade to strike out with his leg and disarm the demon of his sword. The weapon shatters against the ground, and Mobei Jun summons a spear to replace it.

Shang Qinghua steps away from the hole in his wall, gazing wordlessly at where there had once been a shelf. Of scrolls. Neatly organized scrolls. Scrolls which had been filled with data and information that Shang Qinghua still had need of. Paperwork that was either already completely or still awaited completion. He can spot some of those scrolls littering the ground, many of them partially or entirely destroyed by the rubble.

Shang Qinghua brings up a hand to press his forefinger and his thumb down against the sides of his nose. He runs at the bridge, attempting to preemptively lessen the impending migraine, already knowing it would be futile. The clanging and clashing of swords in the hall over isn’t helping.

He steps back toward the hole. His foot catches on a discarded scroll and sends it skittering across the floor. Shang Qinghua feels like crying, a little. He takes in a deep breath.

He watches silently as the scroll hits the frame of the door and rolls to a stop at a pair of boots. Shang Qinghua follows the legs attached to said boots and up until he sees the face of a servant demon standing in the doorway, staring at him in stunned surprise. He watches as the demon glances over at the hole in the wall with wide eyes, as he takes in the mess of rubble on the floor and, finally, Shang Qinghua sees the exact moment the demon spots the buried scrolls.

The blood drains out of the servant’s face, and his eyes flit over to stare at Shang Qinghua. The peak lord isn’t sure what expression he’s wearing, since he’s been doing his best to keep it as blank as possible, but whatever is in his eyes makes the demon take a step back.

The servant sketches a hasty bow, turns tail and runs.

Huh.

Shang Qinghua steps back over the rubble to stand on the hole in his wall. His shidi and his king are still at one another’s throats, snarling insults and causing damage in the interior structure of the corridor. There looks to be another hole in the wall, in the very near future, and —wow! Shang Qinghua clenches his trembling hands in the sleeves of his robes, and jumps down from the hole and into the corridor.

He’s had enough! Did anyone up there hear that? System? God? Shang Qinghua has had enough for today!

The An Ding peak lord stalks over to the two opponents currently fighting to the death in the hallway beside his room. They’re so absorbed with one another and the next possible move they could make against each other than they don’t notice Shang Qinghua approach until he’s already got his hands fisted in their collars.

Shang Qinghua floods the musculator of his upper body with his own qi and gives a sharp, vicious tug with both arms. There are twin noises of surprise as both his king and his shidi go tumbling to the ground.

They whip around to stare incredulously at him, both of them offended and incredibly pissed, teeth bared. They look so much alike in this moment that if Shang Qinghua wasn’t just as pissed himself, he might have laughed.

“Shang Qinghua—!”

“What the hell do you think your d—?!”

“Shidi,” Shang Qinghua hisses, and Liu Qingge abruptly rears back, words cutting off.

Mobei Jun falls equally as silent, sitting up to regard the two of them silently, his analytic and battle-oriented mind likely trying to puzzle out what has the fierce warrior that he’d just been fighting on equal footing so hesitant to interrupt the weak and pathetic scribe that Mobei Jun has before used as his own punching bag. His king is so incredibly observant! It sucks that Shang Qinghua is way too mad right now to appreciate it like he normally would.

Liu Qingge shifts onto his knees, sword held over his legs in one tight fist, and he glares up at Shang Qinghua with a clenched jaw.

The An Ding peak lord isn’t having it, though. He’s way past the point of having it. He can already feel the migraine coming on.

“What the fuck,” he demands, “do you think you’re doing?”

Liu Qingge only continues to glare at him without reply.

Shang Qinghua reaches down and unsheathes his blade. Mobei Jun’s eyebrows rise up in obvious surprise at the move, but the king remains silent.

“What,” Shang Qinghua says, “were either of you thinking?!”

Mobei Jun frowns. “Shang Qinghua, you speak like that to this king?” He finally demands, eyebrows scrunched in anger.

“No, my king. No. Forgive this one his impudence, but,” Shang Qinghua holds up a finger, “shut up. Shut up, or I’m going to shred your body through a woodchipper and serve the remains as a shaved ice dessert to your court of bureaucratic idiots at the next feast. Shut up.”

Mobei Jun blinks in outrage, but doesn’t appear as if he knows how to respond to that. He glances between Shang Qinghua, who continues to stare down at his shidi, and Liu Qingge, who glares back.

“Shidi.”

Liu Qingge hunches his shoulders. “He was going to grab you. He should not have tried.”

“You tore a hole in my wall, Liu-shidi! You destroyed my shelf, and half my paperwork and scrolls! You put me back months in terms of work! Months! Liu-shidi!”

Liu Qingge gruffly turns his head away, belligerent scowl on his face. He clutches his sword in his lap like he wants to use it again, but isn’t yet sure on what.

Mobei Jun leans over into Liu Qingge’s space.

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him.

“What’s a woodchipper.”

The Bai Zhan peak lord glares. “I. Don’t. Know.”

“Both of you, look at me!”

Mobei Jun stares back at the swordmaster, eyes growing more and more intense, and Shang Qinghua grows more and more furious the longer these two toddlers ignore him.

“... What is shaved ice?”

“Isn’t it self-descriptive?! Shut up!”

Shang Qinghua drops his sword carelessly back into its sheathe, having not drawn it completely free to begin with, and slaps both his hands to his cheeks in frustration. He lets out a growl, glare fixated at the ceiling, before reaching forward to grab his martial brother by the collar.

“My king, Fix the wall with your ice for now.” He says, not even considering the fact that he’s ordering around Mobei Jun, something he’d normally never dare to do. He turns on his heel and begins to drag a sullen and red-faced Liu Qingfe behind him as he goes.

“Liu-shidi, come with me. You’re going to clean up the mess you’ve made, and then you're going to redo any paperwork you’ve lost me. Do you have any idea how many months worth of work you just destroyed? I am going to fucking flay you alive with nothing but a pair of chopsticks, Liu-shidi!”

Liu Qingge slumps in his hold. The man doesn’t even get to his feet. He remains seated stubbornly on the ground and mullishly allows the still-ranting Shang Qinghua to drag him across the floor and away from the silent Mobei Jun, who stares after them in confusion. The Bai Zhan peak lord crosses his arms and scowls, not meeting the king’s eyes.

After they leave, Mobei Jun regards the hole in the wall of the corridor and how, beyond it, Shang Qinghua’s workspace is completely demolished. He wonders why the man hadn’t just gone back through the hole, instead of walking the long way around.

Then, he spots the half destroyed scrolls that clutter up the floor, and winces. Ah.

[writing-frenzy]

Plz let Airplane be EVEN MORE Awesome - Fic Rec Part Duo

*Stares at all the notes my last post got* Nice to know we are all just as Thirsty for the good boi as Mobei-Jun is.

So Thus, I have decided to make another! (Smashes the post button) Since there was a lot, I just decided to make another post.

here we go kids, more of that good Airplane love... alongside that good quality Moshang because I am biased~ 

(Plz share if you find more!)

a cup of vinegar, a spoon of sugar by Shamelesscooper - “Your timing certainly is impeccable, my lord,” Wei Wuxian groans, rubbing his back. “What brings you here for the second time in as many nights…?” “I left my cloak,” Mobei-Jun says, shooting Wei-Wuxian a dirty look as the bird demon shrugs his robe back on.“You certainly did!” Shang Qinghua exclaims, crossing his arms quite crossly. “You can’t just leave your things everywhere, my king!” Mobei-Jun’s hard stare refocuses on Shang Qinghua, and he can’t help but shrink back, hurriedly rummaging around in his qiankun pouch for the offending garment. As soon as Shang Qinghua finds it, Mobei-Jun takes it from his hands and throws it over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh as if it relieved him to have it there again. If you miss it so much, why did you even leave it behind?! Shang Qinghua almost wants to say, but he is quite fond of his head, actually, and would rather Mobei-Jun not take it off his shoulders, thankyouverymuch. 

--Shang Qinghua is tasked with escorting the leader of the Yiling Carrion Tribe to Gusu, and it'd be fine if only Mobei-Jun would stop poking his (gorgeous, beautiful, drop-dead handsome) head in!

*Evil grin* here we have a delicious rare side of Jealous Mobei, Shang Qinghua doing something that most MDZS fans dream of doing once, and a side of shamelessness from our favorite ‘Lovebirds’ XD Not to mention how steamy it gets~

-

You Will Never Step Lightly In The Dark by Janusoverlord - Shang Qinghua wakes up in the aftermath of Tianlang-Jun's rampage on Cang Qiong Mountain and has to navigate the delicate political situation he now finds himself in. Luo Binghe is building a harem with Shen Qingqiu as his first, and honestly most terrifying, husband. Yet, Luo Binghe seems to be turning his eyes to Shang Qinghua as a possibility as well. Excuse you? What is this? He didn't sign up for this!

Okay, make sure you read the tags kiddies because uhhh, this has some themes to it. It is also part of a series as well, but I read it stand alone and it does good with how it explains things; as it is...

Let me just say, Luo Binghe does not know what he just got into; all mortals will bow to the might of our lord Airplane! I really did like this and I am tentatively on the fence about reading the rest of the series, because the writing is so damn good but we will see how my ship cravings twist.

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With Ink and Sword by xnemone - Shang Qinghua is appropriately nervous when he passes the Imperial Exams only to be assigned not to the Emperor’s palace, but to the barren lands ruled by a lord known to be as ruthless as he is cold. Although his friend and confidant Shen Qingqiu gives him a sympathetic smile and a mountain of furs before he sets off, Shang Qinghua feels less than reassured.He expects ridicule, a harsh regime, even rejection. What he does not expect is for Mobei-Jun to take one look at him among all the scholars and servants of his palace, and proclaim him his.

Now, this is such a good story, I love it, is makes me feel happy and squishy inside with the good Moshang, and you know what? It has my new favorite thing in the world!

Shang Qinghua calls Cucumber bro out! AND IT IS GLORIOUS!!! (Seriously, why does this not happen more often?)

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Good Vibrations by Feynite -  In Shang Qinghua’s defense, this whole trope was originally something he’d only ever written in for Sha Hualing, for precisely one scene.

In which I actually feel ashamed for forgetting such a treasure. Like, Feynite is a wonderful wordsmith, invoking so many thoughts and good shit with their words and characters, and by god do I end up just loving them even more then before.

This story passes the Vibe Check! (Luo Binghe also gets a Vibe Check~)

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From Your Perspective by cozycitywitch - It was nothing more than a curse, probably, and surly the witch doctor could fix it? So what else was Shang Qinghua to do inside Mobei Jun's body until the end of the night? He couldn't be blamed for his curiosity! He was only a man! Or the one where Moshang switch bodies and Shang Qinghua can't help himself.

Now, this is a lovely, spicy lime where while there is no big action or technical awesomeness going on, it does have some wonderful images; Shang Qinghua’s hamster body with the aura of a king, him showing off being intimating which means Shang Qinghua can indeed be scary, it is something that could happen if he has the motivation for it.

Not to mention this is just a hot story all around~ (My kingdom’s for My King’s POV on this~)

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ham hunt by jets_adjacent - There's a wolf at Shang Qinghua's heels and his only thought is: Northern mating rituals are a pain in the ass.

This is a really, really good A/B/O fic; it also shows just how tricky and sneaky our Shang Qinghua can be, as well as a mischievous side I just love seeing in our favorite Peak Lord. And let’s not forget the spicy goodness of this fic, which is really tasty~ (And can I get a shout out for consent and negotiated kinks!)

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In which healthy relationship skills are forcibly brought into Proud Immortal Demon Way by two bros by Rafaela271412421 -  Look, if no one is going to give these people friends and healthy relationships then by GOD, I WILL do it myself! It's about two bros bringing healthy relationships into PIDW both intentionally and not. Gods and deities, accidental and not, will also be included. Also, it's in bullet point format, so you’ve been warned.

ahahahahaahhahahahaahaha! I love this fucking outline/bullet points presentation, it is something I always end up going back to and giggling like an idiot. The is really a healing piece, my crops have been watered, my face is clear, and Airplane and Cucumber Bros go completely feral~ I love it, I want to propose marriage~

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trinkets for a king by jets_adjacent - Shang Qinghua gives many extraordinary gifts to his King. His King finally catches on. --aka: Mobei Jun has never been courted by a human before.

So, this is a wonderful subversion of the ‘Mobei-Jun courts/plans his wedding to Shang Qinghua all the while said man is unaware’. like, it is so cute and I love jelly Airplane; it gives me life. Also, one of the few we see Airplane taking full advantage of all his author knowledge and using it for the devious plans~

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The Southern King and The North Star by Luuplup - A series of meetings between the Southern King and a cultivator. The happy moments, the romantic moments, the sad moments.  

Another really cute Role Reversal I find I greatly enjoy, with a very competent, beloved Lord Demon!Airplane :D it makes me happy when I read it, I end up wanting to hug something~ It seems like it will be a slow burn, what with our favorite moronsexuals, but oh is it delicious seeing the buildup~ 

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under a wicked star by tagteamme - Caught unaware, Mobei Jun is kidnapped for leverage. On the eighth day, Mobei Jun is broken out of his trance by the sound of something being tossed into his pit. It’s a lot lighter than what they throw food down in. He realizes that today, he is not tied down.When he moves off the bed, he does not need the canopy post to support his weight as he stands up. The object on the floor glints in the firelight, and Mobei Jun crouches to pick it up. His face is immoving; slowly, he turns the An Ding peak lord crown in his hand, looking at the blood-soaked metal through the light.

SQH to the rescue! Alongside some good old fashioned angsty Moshang miscommunication but with Mobei-Jun’s POV this time, and some absolutely good steamy good times for all XD 

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we seal our fate by ketolic (corrose) - All things considered, it really was sort of obvious. Hey! Anyone can be a genius in retrospect. Hindsight is 20/20! Besides, who can blame him! He'd never written about this facet of Mobei Jun's life before! Still...considering all the times he'd gotten his hands on Mobei Jun's sealskin, he's sort of shocked that it took him so long to figure it out.

:D This story makes me giggle uncontrollably, and still finds ways to unexpectedly stab me in the heart. I love it! Not to mention we get to see SQH be awesome! Sure, he flails around as he does it, but busts out the fighting moves and even fits a rescue in there! So good, so in character, I love every watery moment of this fic... good thing I’m so thirsty- (Is shot)

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But yeah! These are some more good stories I found, some a bit more- urrrr- thirstier then others~ you can find the first thing of Fic Recs Here! And Plz, share more awesome Airplane whenever you have a chance~

[daffydo]

i present: Absolutely Built MBJ, waiting for his spy to report. big credit to @tossawary​ whose opening description of him in chapter 4 of their incomparable fic pride is not the word i’m looking for left me on the floor

did i do this instead of my actual final project today? yes. did i have to put myself on drawing time out before i could finish any of the rest of the art i started today because my elbow started complaining? also yes. there is more where this came from but it will be posted another day

twitter // commissions currently closed

[spockandawe]

Oh, would you look at that, is it fish book pitch o’clock again? IT SURE IS!!

So, here’s my angle du jour. I’m a sucker for a feral and/or unsocialized fictional character, especially if the story puts them in a position where they either need or want to catch up to their peers on the social front. I didn’t really click with Jin Zixuan until I saw a post breaking down how his awkwardness made a lot of sense in terms of growing up isolated and undersocialized, and I really love takes on young Lan Wangji that really lean into him not knowing how to play with the other children. It’s more fanon than canon, given screentime, but I love takes on Mobei-jun that do the same thing. And! Outside of the cnovel world altogether, it’s part of why i would Die for both Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus. It’s so tasty! 

And Jing-wang is a version of this that I don’t think I’ve seen before. I’ve had this bouncing around in my head for a while, but I can’t quite come up with any parallels. Jing-wang grew up isolated in one way because he was an imperial prince, with a dead mother and no surviving siblings. The boy doesn’t have many peers, and things are... messy with his half-brothers. But since he’s mute, he’s (theoretically) not in the running for the throne, and he’s not involved in as much political wheeling and dealing as the other princes. And also since he’s mute, communication with other people is a bit of an ordeal, and only a few people who are very close to him are good at interpreting him, outside of him writing things down. I get the idea that he does very well for himself at understanding and steering the political playing field, even if he’s not mixed up deeply in things himself, but he’s.... very not good when it comes to connecting with anyone on any kind of personal level.

But what delights me the most is that this mainly gets expressed through him being 1) a very devoted and well-meaning pet owner, 2) who is very BAD at being a pet owner.

It gets expressed in little funny ways that go by quickly, like in a stressful meeting, where Jing-wang is squeezing Li Yu’s back in a self-soothing way, and Li Yu is like ‘ow, OW, TOO HARD’ and swims away, and Jing-wang is like >:( for two seconds before Li Yu comes back and starts swimming through his fingers again, and Jing-wang realizes he was squeezing too hard. Or later on, after Li Yu’s been living in a huge tank, Jing-wang is like ‘okay, you live in this bottle now, so i can bring you Everywhere with me’ and Li Yu has to fake being unwell so that Jing-wang realizes that the bottle is way too small to be a permanent fish residence. Very quick little empathy things, where Jing-wang gets the intended message pretty darn quickly, but he still had to be taught the lesson in the first place.

But there’s also like... also early on, Li Yu gets a side quest to steal a pearl from the headdress of the Emperor’s favorite concubine. In the process of doing so, he soaks Jing-wang in front of the Emperor, accidentally slaps the concubine in the face, freaks her out, freaks her son out, accidentally frames the two of them for trying to hurt Jing-wang’s pet fish, and knocks the pearl loose... but sends it to the floor. Fortunately, Jing-wang notices that the fish seems REAL interested in this pearl, and retrieves it, but he’s also pissed at the fish for causing so much trouble.

So what does he do? He’s like ‘OKAY. FINE. You want this pearl? Well what I’m going to do is seal this pearl TIGHT inside a glass vial, and then I’m going to put that vial RIGHT in your tank, so you can see the pearl, but you can NEVER HAVE IT’, you know, like a normal human way to treat your pet fish. Only then, Li Yu had already felt bad about causing such a big scene, and sets up a whole apology where he offers Jing-wang his food (because it’s the only thing he has) and tries bowing in apology, and Jing-wang thinks something like ‘...as long as someone was willing to deal with him sincerely, even if they were a fish, he would treat them sincerely in return’ and he gives Li Yu the pearl.

First of all, I never knew I so desperately needed a book where a man tries to play psychological games with his pet fish, second of all, Li Yu is the sketchiest “““fish””” of all time, and third, oh my god Jing-wang how sheltered are you, how do you not realize that this is nowhere in the vicinity of being normal fish behavior??

(to be fair to him, it doesn’t take him that long to realize things are suspicious, and by the thirty-somethingth chapter he has a decent hypothesis for what the fock is going on with his pet fish)

And later in the book, after he knows that this fish is at least sometimes human-shaped, I’d already been pleasantly taken by surprise (in the mtl chapters) to realize that the relationship development involved Li Yu laying down boundaries and holding Jing-wang accountable when he tried getting around them. And like with the squeezing plot point, Jing-wang is very quick to get the message that something he did made this fish/person unhappy, to realize that he doesn’t want them to be unhappy, and to make a very serious effort to change his behavior so he doesn’t make that mistake again. I just hadn’t quite connected the dots to realizing that Li Yu was coaching him through a number of basic emotional development steps even before things reached the point of sex and consent, haha

(in fairness to me, I think Li Yu is extremely oblivious to all of this. which is one of my favorite flavors of character development in fiction, honestly? i love seeing this growth that’s driven by another person, but unintentionally so, so that two people end up drifting closer and closer, and becoming more and more important to each other, without that ever being something they deliberately work towards)

And I think that the idea that Li Yu is coaching Jing-wang through the steps of emotional growth is honestly supported by the other characters in the novel. In the “original” book, Jing-wang falls in love with and marries Chu Yanyu, who very definitely is not in love with him, and is happy to let Jing-wang get hurt and suffer on his behalf, through what sounds like a very unhappy, toxic relationship. In the book we get, all it takes is a little affection and attention from a pet fish, for Jing-wang to totally ignore what should have been Chu Yanyu’s entry into his life, and for him to continue ignoring Chu Yanyu no matter how many times he’s thrown/throws himself into Jing-wang’s path.

Jing-wang does have some people who care about him, but those relationships are... either unequal, or not-mutual, or made difficult in other ways. The Emperor cares about him, but has complicated feelings, since the Empress died shortly after Jing-wang’s birth, where she was already in poor health after losing two other sons, and it seemed like her health got worse after Jing-wang was born mute. The Emperor also tries not to pay him too much attention, because he’s ineligible to inherit the throne anyways, and paying him attention would make him more of a political target. Jing-wang’s main servant, Wang Xi, cares about him deeply, and is the most reliable interpreter for his nonverbal communication, but is also a servant, not a peer. And Jing-wang’s cousin (on his mother’s side) likes him a lot, but their temperaments are highly incompatible, and Jing-wang tends to get annoyed and throw him out when he comes to visit. (the rest of his mother’s family cares about him too, but Jing-wang isn’t a social beast, and doesn’t make himself terribly accessible either)

And like, early, early in the book, at that stressful meeting where Jing-wang squeezes the fish too hard, before things get stressful, the Emperor is completely derailed from the initial purpose of the meeting, because he’s so pleased that Jing-wang has something he cares about, even if it’s just a little pet fish. He continues to be increasingly pleased with this fish as the book goes on, and it’s both hella charming, but also very :( for what it says about how detached Jing-wang was from the world for the last twenty years of his life. And as of chapter 27, Li Yu is trying to meddle with the book plot to save Jing-wang’s cousin from a scheme that will ultimately see him dead, and Jing-wang just agreed to go with his cousin to the imperial palace, to keep an eye on him. And Wang Xi is so moved by this outreach from Jing-wang that he legit tears up. 

Jing-wang is so isolated! Jing-wang is able to play politics, but he does not know how to deal with other people on a friendly social level, and Li Yu is accidentally helping him catch up! I was invested purely on the basis of ‘oh my godddd, jing-wang loves his fish so much,’ which he absolutely does, taking care of his fish is basically his number one priority, but that’s not nearly all there is to this situation! I’m so excited to read the chapters covering the initial relationship development as translated by a human, rather than a machine, because I just know there’s tasty, tasty emotional content in there. 

I could have been totally happy with a book where Jing-wang remained cold and detached with one (1) exception, and that’s a relationship paradigm I totally enjoy reading, but seeing Li Yu accidentally teach him to open up and form attachments to other people too is so rewarding and I love it! I know later on, his cousin is falling in love at the same time he is, he has more dealings with his father, and his mother’s family enters the scene here and there, and I badly need to read it. This is just the best comfort food I could have asked for right now. It’s a lovely balance of cute, moving, and absolutely ridiculous, and has character development more gripping than I could have ever expected. I love it so much, you guys ;u;

[astrologysaysno]

Saw svsss as Idols and I decided to come back to the scene for even more Idol Trainee Shang Qinghua in the middle of the night only semi-coherent.

The context: 1, 2, 3, 4

So like, I already pitched to all of you the idea of Shang Qinghua being a former Idol Trainee, but let me be extremely self-indulgent and ask how do we feel about him making his own Idol Group in the PIDW world?

Shang Qinghua never got to debut as an idol, so why not be one in this life. Sure the concept doesn't exist in the way it is for him but how hard can that be?

(To no one's surprise, it's an absolute pain to recreate)

Balancing being head of An Ding AND being Mobei-jun's spy on top of trying to form and train a modern idol group essentially guarantees him that sleep will be nonexistent, but he's had worse things occur in life, he has written chapters at breakneck speeds to pay rent.

In terms of music, there's a struggle vocally speaking. Western sensibilities and pop vocal styles are quite different from ancient Chinese singing. Power belting is a rare phenomena outside specific settings and Shang Qinghua now has to train vocal harmonies. Compound this with the fact that he has to teach them multiple extra languages since it's hard to carry the same energy over translations and it's an absolute train wreck.

Choreography wise, it's hard to teach dance moves without having his peers blush at him from the steps. This is intersecting with the fact that most of these dance styles are new. Hip-hop doesn't begin until a couple of millenias later, and Jazz hasn't been invented by the people of Louisiana since it doesn't exist yet, so his students are going in blind.

If we rope SQQ-J here, we could have him get an aneurysm as he watches Shang Qinghua flub at teaching trainees and having to be a live translator so that they have a clue on what they're saying.

SQH: "I need you to give me more 'aaa' and less 'eee'"

Trainee: *Absolutely Confused* ????

SQQ: Exasperated, "He's telling you to make your vowels sound more like an 'a' sound and make it more open."

SQH teaching the lyrics: Okay, I need you to sing this next part. *Sings rapidly in English*

SQQ: Shidi I need you to understand that I don't know what you're saying

SQH: It doesn’t matter what it means, just say the line.

SQH: showing the choreo: Then you do this. *Drops to the floor in a kick move and slides his hand up his body, showing some skin as his shirt rides up*

LGQ: *Short circuiting and blushing red after watching SQH demonstrate the choreo.* "SHAMELESS! ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS!" *Flees*

SQQ: *Smacks SQH with his fan*

MBJ: *Hides in the corner as he watches SQH dance with only a sleeveless shirt and small shorts in somewhere private* My hamster is very talented, and very handsome

__________________________________

This is the part of this dumpsterfire word vomit I have cooked up in the middle of the night where I contemplate groups I could have Shan Qingqua's Idol Group do music from.

It all depends on the size of the group really. Plus, my vision has SQH and SQQ working together for extra wachy hijinks. So these are gonna be my inspirations mostly for each group.

Plus Plus, this list isn't for all combinations, just combinations I would probably do.

Cutting it off to just the Peak Lords, I made these.

Two Member Group:

SQH &:

SQQ - Irene and Seulgi

LQG - DubChaeng

YQY - AKMU

Three Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, LQG - Odd Eye Circle and MISAMO

SQH, SQQ, YQY - FLO

Four Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG - aespa and kiof

Five Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, MQF - Red Velvet, Loossemble, and ARTMS

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, WQW - ITZY, (G)-Idle, and Le Serrafim

Six Member Groups:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, MQF, WQW -

NMIXX

IVE

STAYC

Everglow

So uh, yeah. These are the K-pop groups I'm working with. As you can see, I mostly just listen to girl groups, I don't really listen to boygroups, which may be to my detriment, since they are all men.

[vodkassassin]

cucumberplane with sqh defending/comforting sqq instead of the other way around (badass!sqh?)

Someone asked for a FIERCE son???

This one is a little long, at just about over 4k

Warnings: gore, graphic depictions of violence ;3

—

Shang Qinghua is scared.

There’s been plenty of instances, especially in this new life of his, where he has been in fear for his life. Every instance feels like it’s the worst one, in the time that it is happening. In the moment, when his heart seems to freeze, beating so quickly it’s almost like he can’t even hear it in the blood that rushes by his ears. When his breath stutters to a stop, and his stomach drops so sharply that it feels like it’s dug itself deep into the mantle of the earth.

In the moment, when it feels like he’s never been this scared in either of his lives.

Like a cornered animal, pinned down against cold stone marble floors, this snarling demon’s clawed hand encircling his throat with just barely enough pressure to make breathing something difficult. The cold, sharp point of a spear digging ever-so gently into his gut, just to remind him that it’s there.

“I’ll carve out each and every one of your bones,” the demon is crooning into his ear, fingers flexing against his jugular, just barely. “They will make excellent jewelry, a badge of great honor. A boast at how the revered and powerful Peak Lord Shang was felled by my hands.”

Revered? Shang Qinghua has absolutely no idea where this dipshit idiot got his information, but clearly his broker had decided it would be a good laugh to lead him around by the nose, because he is so far off the mark.

It’s far more like Shang Qinghua is barely tolerated. Kept around for his work ethic and quick results. But revered? No.

And powerful? Okay, in order to be a peak lord, Shang Qinghua had to meet certain expectations. There are prerequisites for becoming the successor of your Shizun in Cang Qiong. However, there are twelve peaks, and despite being ranked number four out of all of them, the peak lord of An Ding is hardly considered powerful.

This demon has it all wrong. But! Here he is, spear and claws cutting into Shang Qinghua’s skin, threatening his life.

Usually, Shang Qinghua has precautions in place for this very circumstance. There are so many exits he could have taken before this. Back up plans, routes to temporary safety. Hell, just calling for Mobei Jun gets the job done in a flash, half the time.

Okay, more than half.

But. However. Shang Qinghua had made certain oversights. Because he never, in any of those precautions, accounted for the additional presence of his bro. Shen Qingqiu, who is curled up against the wall across the room, pale and unmoving, blood dripping steadily from a gash in his head.

And so, like a cornered animal would, Shang Qinghua bares his teeth.

It should have been a warning, but the demon just laughs.

“Don’t pretend to be brave now, little cultivator,” he chuckles.

The hand on Shang Qinghua’s throat loosens, before removing itself completely so that those long, wickedly sharp claws can trail up the soft skin underneath his jaw. They press down as they go, just enough that Shang Qinghua can feel droplets of blood start trickling down his neck. The demon traces up his cheek with two claws, gently, and croons.

“I never imagined a small thing like you to be the infamous Lord Shang,” the demal continues. “I really did expect someone at least a little taller. But, small is fun, too! You gave me a good hunt, little one, so at least you lived up to some of the rumors.”

Any other day, Shang Qinghua would really love to know what the demons of the North say about him. Really. He’s dying of curiosity, about as much as he’s certain he doesn’t actually want to know.

It doesn’t matter right now, though. If there’s anything that Shang Qinghua is guaranteed to be able to work with, it's being underestimated.

“But, the chase is over now. This one wins, and Lord Shang loses.”

With that, the demon plunges the spear into Shang Qinghua’s stomach.

It’s cold, going in. Terrifying, knowing that there’s something ripping into you. The feeling as your body reacts to a foreign object’s invasion. Not quite at the conclusion that it should hurt, yet. Just… shock.

There’s a brief period of time before the shock makes it hard to move, though. Shang Qinghua knows, from experience, almost exactly how long it will take for his body to realize it’s suppose to be in pain. He has a precious few moments, and his teeth are still bared.

Shang Qinghua has been waiting. He’s good at that. He’s patient. He’s spent most of his life waiting for one thing or another. For plans to come to fruition, for schemes to set. For pieces to fall into place so that he can pull his strings. For this demon to finish his dumbass, dramatic monologue, and make the final blow.

Shang Qinghua is quick — he always has been. At the moment the spearhead enters his flesh, he’s already wriggled an arm forward and grabbed it by the shaft, just below where the demon holds it.

The demon makes a surprised noise when Shang Qinghua uses his grip to pull himself further onto the weapon. It’s the last sound he makes, beyond a wheeze of shock as Shang Qinghua jerks forward into his space and latches his jaw around the demal’s throat.

He sinks his teeth into flesh. It tastes salty. He can feel the point of the spear exiting his back, but he doesn’t pay it any mind. He clamps down as hard as he can and thrashes his head to the side and then back again.

The skin under his teeth breaks open. Bloods splurts out, dribbling in rivulets down his chin, and Shang Qinghua bites down even further. Something long and sinewy, stretched like a tube, bursts between his molars, coming apart over his tongue.

The demon collapses, falling away from where he’d been straddling Shang Qinghua’s legs. He crashes to the ground with wide, unseeing eyes, soft gurgles erupting from the demal’s mutilated neck before the sound dies out completely, and Shang Qinghua is left lying there on the cold marble floor, a spear protruding from his midsection.

He stares up at the ceiling, hyper aware of the shock that’s finally settling into his limbs. There’s copper and salt cloying in his mouth. He’s never been a fan of rare steaks, and this is even worse. He feels, distantly, as if he’s going to throw up. But, not now. Maybe in a little bit, after the shock wears off and the pain sets in.

Shang Qinghua experimentally tries to wiggle his toes. He succeeds, and so he moves on to the muscles in his arms, working at them until they contract and retract in the way he wants them to. He lifts up one arm, shakily, and carefully grabs the shaft of the spear that he’s currently impaled upon. He can feel the spearhead pressing uncomfortably against his back, from where it’s exited the wound.

He can’t just pull it out the way that it came in, like he wants to. It will catch, and drag against already torn flesh. The backside of the spearhead is serrated. It will just make it worse.

He has to snap the spear head off before pulling the shaft out.

But, it’s not like a shoddy spear, with a stone head and a wooden shaft. This is a well-crafted weapon, without any seams to serve as a weak point. The spearhead is carved of the same strong metal as the shaft. This was forged by a master weaponsmith, with demonic spells carved elegantly into the detailing.

Shang Qinghua isn’t going to be able to break it with regular, Qi-enhanced strength. He can’t start healing himself until he removes the spear, either. And he can’t push the spear all the way through, since the opposite end is an oddly shaped hilt. Bulky. That would do worse damage than the serrated spearhead.

He’s kind of… stuck. Shang Qinghua isn’t entirely sure how to get the spear out of himself without making it worse. He’ll have to wait until help arrives.

However, he might just bleed out before then!

And, across the room, though his head wound has sluggishly ceased its bleeding, his best friend is still unconscious.

This is fun. Exciting! A real puzzle to solve.

Hey, System!

[System remains in standby mode during all cutscenes.]

What the fuck is that suppose to mean? Cutscenes? There’s never been cutscenes! This is just another shitty excuse not to help!

I hate you.

[System remains in standby mode during all cutscenes.]

Shang Qinghua groans, and carefully begins to maneuver himself onto his side.

The pain hits. Thankfully not all at once. It comes in increments, so Shang Qinghua is able to sit up and get his legs underneath him before it really starts making a nuisance of itself, but it does come.

It hurts, dammit. He’s had worse, of course, but it still hurts like a bitch, and there’s a hazy blackness encroaching on the very edges of Shang Qinghua’s vision that won’t go away no matter how many times he blinks.

He shoves the pain to the back of his mind and focuses on standing. It’s an arduous process, but he manages it, and he’s by Shen Qingqiu’s side within thirty seconds of almost drunken stumbling.

Shang Qinghua is very mindful of the spear that still impales him as he kneels in a controlled collapse beside his best friend. He angles his chest away from the other man so the heavy end of the spear points downwards and away from them both. He lifts a visibly shaking hand to Shen Qingqiu’s brow and begins channeling qi into him.

Just because he can’t heal himself with the spear still in him, doesn’t mean he can’t heal his buddy.

It’s a short process. He’s no healer, but he and Mu Qingfang are — close, and Shang Qinghua has learned a thing or two from the very best that their sect has to offer. Shen Qingqiu’s eyes are fluttering open within minutes.

“Ow,” the man murmurs, raising a hand to his most-likely aching skull. It lands to cover Shang Qinghua’s, fingers momentarily intertwining with his, and Shen Qingqiu straightens up from where he has slumped against the wall to look over at him.

“What hit me?” he groans, confusion cinching his brow.

Shang Qinghua sucks in a slow, controlled breath. The pain is hammering at his senses insistently, but he shoves it to the back of his mind again. It’s an ongoing battle, like trying to fight off a jumping dog with boundless energy when you’re going off two hours of sleep and are short three cup of coffee. And you have a migraine that makes every single one of your joints feel like there’s a knife stuck in them.

It’s a very specific metaphor. Which might not be a metaphor, but more of an correlation to that one time he’d been roped into dogsitting for his older brother.

That didn’t necessarily hurt as bad as this, per say, but it was like, similarly annoying?

To… being impaled?

Right.

It takes a few moments, Shang Qinghua still focused on channeling his qi, but Shen Qingqiu eventually becomes coherent enough to recall how exactly he’d ended up like this, and he pins him with a sharp look of examination. Which quickly turns to pale-faced horror.

“Airplane!” Shen Qingqiu hisses, eyes wide and terrified. “Airplane, stop! Why are you — why are you healing me? You have a fucking spear sticking out of you, oh my fucking god—!”

They quickly switch positions. Suddenly, Shang Qinghua is the one on the ground, with a panicked Shen Qingqiu leaning over him, hands hovering above the spear but not quite touching it, uncertainty warring with fear on the man’s face. No fan to hide the expression, this time.

Amusement and fondness twists up in Shang Qinghua’s gut, mingling with the internal bleeding that he is most certainly experiencing. He reaches up a hand to clumsily pay at his bro’s face.

“Peerless,” he breathes out. He can feel a smile curling at the corners of his mouth. “Bro, you’re so pretty…. I did so, so good…. character descriptions absolutely flawless....”

“Great, you’re delirious.” Shen Qingqiu huffs out, trying to sound annoyed. There’s still that note of fear in there, though, that can’t be mistaken. “Airplane, pull yourself together. How the fuck am I suppose to get this out of you? I need you sober, man.”

“Drunk on paiiin,” Shang Qinghua giggles out in a singsong, and his bro pulls a face.

“That sounds so wrong. Don’t say that. Instead, tell me how to— to unimpale you? Maybe? Airplane?”

Shang Qinghua tilts his head back. Cold marble presses against his crown. It’s soothing, kinda. He feels like he’s burning up with a fever. The slight chill is… nice. He closes his eyes.

“Fuck,” Shen Qingqiu says. A hand lands on his shoulder and gives him a very light shake. “Don’t fall asleep. Don’t fucking fall asleep! Airplane, please.”

Right.

Shang Qinghua sucks in another slow, careful breath, and forces his eyes open. He fights past the haziness that’s trying to cover his vision, and locks eyes with his martial brother and best friend. Shen Qingqiu looks terrified, eyes wide and damp around the edges.

Awww, he does care!

Shaking the thought away, he reaches out with one hand and slaps his palm against the shaft of the spear. The vibrations travel down its length and into Shang Qinghua, and his entire torso alights with fresh, white hot pain. He stiffens and smothers a cry.

“Shit! Airplane, what the fuck?! Stop!”

He ignores Shen Qingqiu. Shang Qinghua is more awake now, which is exactly what he was going for.

“Bro,” he says. It comes out breathless, more of a wheeze. “We can’t break the spear with normal cultivation.”

“Then how the fuck—?!”

“No, no. Listen. You can’t break it with normal cultivation. It needs an elemental touch, and I’m not about to electrocute myself to death again.”

Shen Qingqiu pauses, staring down at him. He blinks.

“But,” Shen Qingqiu says, realization alighting in his eyes. His bro is so clever. “I don’t have a lightning element. Mine is earth.”

“Yep! Bro.”

“Airplane?”

Shang Qinghua swings out his arm and slaps it against Shen Qingqiu’s chest, turning his hand to grab the front of his bro’s robes. He uses his grip to haul himself up into a sitting position, leaning in to speak directly into the other man’s ear.

“Bro, disintegrate the spear. Like, I am begging you here. It fucking hurts.”

Shen Qingqiu leaned back in order to stare at him. After a few seconds, he shakes his head roughly, eyes wide.

“R—Right!” He says, and reaches out to curl his fingers hesitantly around the spear shaft. His other arm has curled protectively around the small of Shang Qinghua’s back, helping to hold him up as his strength quickly drains away from him.

“Right. Um, just… give me a second. I’m not… um, I’m not really good with elemental techniques….”

“Take your time,” Shang Qinghua says sincerely, before blacking out into his bro’s shoulder.

—

“Hey, Airplane?”

Shang Qinghua glances up from the door of the throne room that they’ve summarily been trapped inside of.

It was a beautiful scheme of their opponent, truly. Using the defenses of the wards that are intended to protect against them. Setting up a grand distraction in the form of a false invasion, drawing away the guards and his king to the frontlines of the battle. Meanwhile, Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu were trapped within the seat of power of the palace the very moment that the wards had initiated the total lockdown.

Nothing goes in, nothing goes out.

It’s a complete, absolute protection — but it can’t do anything to protect them from someone already inside the wards themselves, and subsequently had cut them off from any back up in the form of a teleporting demon king, as not even Mobei Jun himself can break through the ancient wards of his own ancestors.

It was a severe oversight. He’ll have to rectify it immediately, once this is all taken care of and finished.

Loopholes being taken advantage of in such creative ways! Shang Qinghua would be so very impressed, if only they weren’t his wards being made a mockery of.

He looks over at his bro, to find Shen Qingqiu staring down at the corpse of their attacker with an odd look on his face.

Really, Shang Qinghua is kind of embarrassed. For both of them! They could have taken this guy, working together. Neither of them are slackers in the power department, and Shen Qingqiu in particular inherited a pretty strong body to begin with, that he has since only made more powerful. Shang Qinghua himself is, while not exactly super impressive, certainly nothing to sniff at. After all, he is a peak lord, too.

Together, they should have been able to take this guy.

Too bad the dipshit demon had foreseen that, and had worked in the element of surprise. It really had been too quick. Strike down the more powerful of them first, and fight the lesser head on. Shen Qingqiu is unconscious against the wall, and Shang Qinghua is fast, but apparently not fast enough.

Seriously. It’s embarrassing.

“Yeah, bro?”

“Did you….” Shen Qingqiu looks up from the body, glancing at the bloodied mess that is the front of Shang Qinghua’s robes. He points a finger at him, and looks back down at the corpse in clear befuddlement. “Did you, uh…. Um, how exactly did you kill this guy?”

Shang Qinghua pauses his work with the wards. They’re a true beast, really, and he’s gonna need his bro’s help anyway. It’ll take more than just him to dismantle the lockdown. He stands up and wanders over to stare down at the corpse as well.

It’s a fucking mess. The corpse had drained out of the neck until there wasn’t any more blood to bleed, resulting in a massive puddle of deep crimson that has expanded a good five feet in diameter around the demon’s body. The body itself is pale in death, an ashy green color that has become mottled in places due to the absence of blood. The eyes are still open, staring sightlessly at nothing, and the face still bears a slightly slack expression of shock.

It’s disturbing to look at, sure, but they’ve both seen worse. Shang Qinghua is a little confused about why his bro seems so uneasy.

“Uh,” he says, head tilted to the side in thought. “Well, he stabbed me…. hm. Oh! Yeah, so I kinda, like, used the spear to pull him closer so I could, y’know,” Shang Qinghua snaps his teeth in a theatric grimace, and gives his head a slight jerk to the side.

He then smiles brightly at his friend, who is staring at him with an expression he can’t really describe.

“And, yeah,” he finishes, lamely.

“There’s blood,” Shen Qingqiu says. “In your teeth.”

“Hm,” Shang Qinghua frowns. He runs his tongue or his teeth, and grimaces for real at the tacky feeling that coats them. Not even going to mention the taste. “Can blood stain, like, bone? Teeth are bone. Do you think it’ll stain?”

“Airplane, did you rip out that guy’s throat with your teeth?”

Shang Qinghua frowns at his friend. “Um, yeah? Didn’t I just say that?”

“Haha, you did.” Shen Qingqiu gives a strange laugh. It sounds a little hysterical. “You actually did.”

Shang Qinghua watches in bewilderment as the other man spins on his heel and takes a few steps away from him. His steps bring him closer to the corpse. He stops just shy of his feet kicking into it and stares down at it for a long few moments that feel like they stretch into minutes.

Then, Shen Qingqiu shakes his head slowly, and walks back over to him.

“That’s so fucking metal, bro,” he says, finally. “Like, I’m both terrified and very, very impressed.”

“Oh.” Shang Qinghua says. He runs his fingers through the back of his hair self-consciously, feeling at where the strands have come loose from his bun. “Thanks. Listen, I’m gonna need a hand with the wards. They can only be unlocked from the inside, and usually I’d be able to just do it myself, but I’m almost spent, dude. Like, I need a fucking nap, as soon as possible. Imma need your qi.”

“Sure, what little I can give of it. I used up a lot on that medical technique for your, uh, impalement. I’m no doctor, man.” Shen Qingqiu shrugs. He casts one last vaguely incredulous glance between Shang Qinghua and the demon’s corpse, before following him over to the two, large and imposing throne room doors.

They’re swinging them open about fifteen minutes later, and both of them are forced to duck out of the way as a barrage of deadly sharp icicles comes raining down almost upon their heads.

Shang Qinghua grabs his best friend by the arm and flings him back, raising his other arm up into the air to snap his fingers. He winces at how the movement pulls at his still incredibly sore injury. Thankfully, he’d managed to heel it enough that the wound itself has closed, but he’s pretty sure he’s still got some internal bleeding going on in there.

There’s a light shimmer in the air before them, barely visible, as his qi condenses into a weak physical barrier. Most of the icicles shatter upon contact with it, but some make it through, and Shang Qinghua tugs his increasingly drowsy martial brother out of the line of fire.

Ah, head wounds are so annoying. Guess he’ll have to drag Shen-ge with him to see Qingfang, after all.

“My king!” He shouts, and then raises his voice as another volley of icicles begins to form from the moisture in the air. Being in the cold north, there’s plenty of it. “Mobei Jun! Stop! It’s us!”

The icicles pause, and then fall to the floor, shattering into thousands of tiny shards of ice that immediately begin to melt into the floor. There’s no time to appreciate the built-in clean up function born from his beautiful world building skills, however, as a large figure comes striding across the outer hall toward them, intent in every single step.

As soon as Mobei Jun and the retinue of guards spot the two peak lords, they fall to an abrupt stop. The guards all exchange glances, but it’s difficult to make out their expressions underneath the helmets of ice. His king, barefaced as always, looks a little surprised. Not much, of course, but his eyes are a little wider than usual.

“Shang Qinghua,” Mobei Jun says, and then stops.

“Yes, my king?”

There’s a long strength of silence. Shang Qinghua frowns and turns to his friend, only to find Shen Qingqiu staring at him as well. His fan flutters in front of his face, having appeared out of absolutely nowhere — seriously, does the man keep spares in a qiankun space? — and the eyes that peer over it at him look distinctly amused.

“Shang-ge,” he says, mirth coating every word.

“What?”

Shen Qingqiu watches him for a moment, and then snickers.

“Shen-ge, what?”

“You look like you just ripped someone’s throat out.” Shen Qingqiu comments idly.

Annoyed, Shang Qinghua reaches up and rubs the back of his sleeve across his mouth. He scowls at his bro. “That’s because I just did? Why are you laughing at me?”

Someone coughs. It sounds like one of the guards. Another hurriedly shushes the one, and all the demons in the hall are very still and very silent. It’s kind of eerie, actually. Mobei Jun is still staring at him, too.

Is it because Shang Qinghua has made such a mess? He will clean it up, your majesty, he promises!

“What did it taste like?” Shen Qingqiu suddenly wonders aloud, watching him inquisitively, and Shang Qinghua rounds on him with a sigh of exasperation.

“Gross.” He says firmly. He wipes his sleeve over his mouth once more, for good measure. Blood flakes off of his chin, and he makes a face. “Disgusting. I’m never doing that again. Ugh.”

Shen Qingqiu’s fan flutters, and his friend laughs at him.

“Shang Qinghua.” Mobei Jun says, this time more firmly.

He turns toward his king and folds his hands out in front of him, bowing just slightly enough to show respect. “My king, this one will have the mess cleaned up, do not worry. However, both this one and his martial brother require the assistance of our fellow peak lord after such an ordeal, so if your Majesty would allow us….”

Mobei Jun’s haze sharpens, and he takes a step forward. Always one to read in between the lines of what is being said, he demands answers. “You are hurt?”

“This one was impaled. Healed now, but likely requires further treatment just in case. Brother Shen has a head wound that I would like for our sect doctor to look at.”

“I’m fine,” Shen Qingqiu says, annoyed.

He sways slightly to the side, righting himself before Shang Qinghua can reach out to steady him, and gives him an impervious look when he tries to set his hand on the man’s arm anyway.

Shang Qinghua rolls his eyes. “Sure, as Shen-ge says. Would you like to tell Qingfang, or should I?”

Shen Qingqiu glares at him.

He turns back to Mobei Jun, who has taken a few steps to the side and is trying to peer around them for a glimpse at the mess on the throne room floor. Shang Qinghua steps in front of him, blocking the view.

His king narrows his eyes at him, and Shang Qinghua swallows down the usual nervousness that tries to crawl up his throat at the look. He is tired, he’s got a headache, his qi levels are at rock bottom, he’d just been impaled, and Shang Qinghua thinks he deserves a fucking nap, okay?

He summons up a polite smile and gives his king another bow. “If my king permits it…?” He hedges once again.

Mobei Jun glowers at him for a couple more long moments, the line of demonic guardsmen at his back unrelenting and immovable.

“The invasion force at the gates,” his king says slowly, eyes once again going to the throne room just beyond their little rendezvous point here. “It was only a bluff?”

“Yes, my king.”

“And the assassin?”

“Dead, my king.”

“.... Hmph.”

Well, Shang Qinghua has no idea what that sound means.

Mobei Jun stares at him some more, before finally nodding his head once. “This king will take you to Qian Cao.”

Shang Qinghua beams at the man. “That would be amazing! Many thanks, my king!”

Mobei Jun lets out a huff and pivots on his heel to face the contingent of guardsdemals instead, his back shown to them.

From Shang Qinghua’s shoulder, Shen Qingqiu quietly snorts into his fan.

“Gather a cleaning crew for both the battlefield and the throne room,” Mobei Jun barks out, and the guards scatter.

He turns back to face the two peak lords, and holds out one arm, not even looking at them.

Shang Qinghua wraps one arm around his bro’s waist. From how unsteady Shen Qingqiu still is, he doesn’t really trust the man to hold on for the entire trip. And falling off mid-teleportation is definitely not fun. Shang Qinghua can attest to that.

Mobei Jun is scowling when he reaches out and sets his arm into the crook of the king’s elbow, but he steps into the teleportation before Shang Qinghua can even consider asking him what’s wrong.