#system life

[thebitchwitheface]

Would a system jerking off be considered an orgy?

[the-moonjay-forest-system]

How our system has changed since leaving school (An incredibly stressful, borderline traumatic place for us)

A lot less discovery/splitting of alters. I'm still not certain which alters from that time are actually real alters, it's hard for us to tell if some have split, went dormant, were actually another alter all along or straight up didn't exist in the first place. But yeah we'd used to be constantly find new alters and now there'll be a good couple of months between discovering new parts.

A lot less switches and triggers. We'd use to switch around five times a day and now on an ordinary day we may switch once or twice but there's plenty of days where we won't switch at all.

The switches themselves are different, before almost every switch included very heavy long lasting dissociation and would often yank the previous alters out of front they'd be unbearable. Now they're a lot quicker and harder to notice and are either gradual instead of completely kicking the alter out of front or will only result in co-consciousness

A lot of it has been positive changes but there's been some downsides too such as:

Less communication. We have two journals that we'd bring to school and would write in throughout the day. One was for talking to eachover and the other was more of a traditional diary where we'd be able to write whatever we felt like including vents, poetry, tips and advice for other alters etc. We still have those journals but never really use them anymore I'm not completely sure why. But yeah that was our main form of communication and now we barely communicate at all.

Alters have more freedom, sounds like a good thing and it definitely can be not being stuck in lessons and being forced to do work can definitely be great. But without a proper routine, and not being stuck in a place where you can't just walk off or do whatever you want well uh some alters will do just that. Alters will sometimes just wander off or do risky, impulsive things that the rest of the syste might not agree with. This happened before too but it occurs a lot more often now we're not stuck in places where we have to mask all day.

There's probably quite a lot more that I've either forgotten about or haven't even noticed but yeah just a small list of changes in our system since leaving that environment.

[spacetimesystem]

Does anyone have some endo-positive (or at least endo-neutral) system YouTuber recs? Most of the big ones have made anti-endo content or at least fakeclaiming-adjacent fsjgshf

[kaleidoscopechaos827]

"If I was faking being a system, then I would make it make more sense" - @the-sea-glass-system

[dragon-for-the-day]

6, 8, 12

6: We have lots of in system couples. Our old host was really uncomfortable with them but since they split it’s been a lot easier. Mitch and Rose were the first but there’s lots of others. Beau and Billy, Nate and Bonez, Clover and Kc, the list goes on. Since realizing we could date each other, it’s kinda been going ham 😅

8: We do use system roles and find them quite helpful. We use them kind of religiously actually. It helps us know why someone is in/near front or who needs to be

12: Our name is the Celestial Sea System and we came up with it off of the metaphor “A lot of fish in the sea” and the fact that a lot of us like space!

[sidneyfirefae]

do any other systems have any advice about handling careers/jobs/networking/education as a system with distinct goals and dreams? i think we all loathe capitalism to some extent or another, me definitely a lot, but unfortunately we're gonna have to try to navigate it to survive.

do y'all only go by your legal names for work and combine all your work/accomplishments into what externally looks like a single person? do y'all try to differentiate your careers, and if so, how do you handle the bureaucratic, legal, social, etc difficulties that probably causes?

any advice is appreciated, and please refrain from syscourse. we accept and welcome systems of all types

[your-local-smile-man]

Systemhood - Maverik

Imagine a school of minnows, or a more appropriate species, living down in the deep of the ocean. It's dark, you cannot see, and you only exist as many dozens, just floating amongst each other.

These "minnows" are tiny thoughts merely floating in the back of the mind. These tiny slivers are thoughts and emotions, and vary in sizes. However, once they are exposed to the light, they come together and work as one, as a unit. When a shark comes, only a few will be sacrificed, but the majority of the minnows are protected by the sheer size of the school.

Say the school of minnows finds it's way in a new environment, such as a coral reef, which provides even more protection from sharks and other predators. They are able to eat more, and grow more, and eventually adapt to their new environment, perhaps to the point they are significantly different than their shark-fearing ancestors. Sure, if a shark did find its way to minnow's reef, it would probably have a lovely time, if it weren't for other animals being disturbed (take the octopus, for instance). Either way, the shark goes back to where it came from, and the minnows continue to thrive.

But what makes a minnow different from a thought or emotion is that, if it gets large enough from experience, which may not be much, it has the capacity to make decisions for itself and not just out of habit or survival. When different thoughts and emotions come together, they can form an identity. This identity works like a school of minnows, except it is a singular being. Think of the Pokemon, Wishiwashi, for example. It's school form is really just a thousand or so other Wishiwashi coming in to work together as a singular unit. Each Wishiwashi is a small thought, emotion, and memory that forms into a larger being. It may be possible that two schools can come together and make an even bigger school!

This is the best way I can describe what systemhood is like from my perspective. There was a time where I was many, many parts, who all resonated with the "Samuel" character, be it from The Smiler days or the then-new project "The Monarch Effect." As Maverik, I am the combination of the two, and experienced false memories that I suspect may have been based on the emotions that made me, plus another alter who would become one of our main persecutors. I thought I was a sort of a minion under him, hurting the host for unclear reasons. A pawn would be a better term, as I was still growing and working through who "Maverik" was. I think this alter and I are two halves of the same coin, since we share such a history - perhaps I hated him because I was him, and he is me, but this is for another time. Other fragments I'm related to have since found their own identities, but only after being made to front by the persecutor. Our role, for the most part, is to protect the host in a very specific way (I do not wish to go into detail-it has to do with love), but the approach hasn't always been good or ideal, and is something that we are always working on.

Other alters have different origins, such as Mikeru's original role as a role-playing surrogate or Spencer's being more directly from trauma. I mostly formed into what I am now in order to cope with systemhood and the need for some sort of comfort, and have since grew into myself and had to learn to adapt to whatever changes were happening with my internal projection (like puberty, but your hair changes color and texture every other day, sometimes entire fashion styles - I particularly liked the time I looked like a BATIM character XD).

It was a case where fusion was seen as a good thing, and I am deeply honored to be the first. Many times, it has not worked, as we acted on fear and not understanding what we were and what we were doing. Now that we have a more general idea of what we are and how we work, it isn't as scary anymore. Now, would a therapist that works with systems help? Yes! But, perhaps a DID/OSDD diagnoses isn't the best thing right now.

We turn 20 tomorrow, and that threshold is... something. Sure, we're legally an adult, but I think the idea is that you would have something figured out by now! X) Not to mention all the events leading up to the 4th of July! Goodness! But, once all this has passed, I think things will be a little bit easier. As long as we keep on forward, we'll be okay.

This has been Maverik, and remember.

Smile. Always.

Sleep well, everyone!

[voidsicle]

'X character would NEVER!'

Yeah, about that... The one in my head does, so die mad about it?

[beelzebubsbois]

There's so much going on right now and it kind of makes us happy to be here. Where we are from we don't get pleasures such as these but we are reading a book that we love, listening to a podcast as the main characters stew in our mind (flirting probably, heh 🪲), our father is making us breakfast, and Coraline is playing in the background, a beautiful show of craftsmanship and humanity I would say genuinely.

-{Azazel} & Belial🫀

[returntothesoup]

I juuuusssttt LOOOOooooOOOOoooVVVVvvvvVVVVVVEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee when there’s like 8 people in my head ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO CUT A FUCKING PIZZA everyone just SHUT UP and let me DO ITRR😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

[toby-du-coeur]

dating in-system

dating in-system…. has its pros and cons

like it’s easy to feel like our love is invisible, especially to others. we get seen by the world as a solitary person. i can’t share the best parts of our life with most people. i can’t take selfies of us or make instagram posts or celebrate our love in the thousand casual ways that the couples around us do; there’s no common parlance for what we are but i want tooo because i swear my life is full of so much love and looking at us from the outside you simply don’t see into the experience of Being This Entity

thankfully art exists ^^ {and tumblr}

like i mean this is all the time. if we’re eating, walking to the store, standing around talking casually.. there’s always another dialogue going on

we've been traveling around italy having an invisibly romantic time

[the-moonjay-forest-system]

It's nice to have people you can talk to openly about being a system and the experiences and feelings that come with it. I feel like most of us don't really have many people we can truely be ourselves around, for some of us maybe there's nobody at all (if you're one of those people I hope you can find somebody who's supportive and trustworthy who you feel safe to open up with soon) and it's such an isolating, lonely thing to live with.

Our mom technically knows we likely have DID (well I'm leaning a bit more towards OSDD but our old therapist told her we have DID) but it's something that's hardly ever spoken about I wouldn't be surprised if she's forgotten about it by now and we never shared any details about our system or anything with her. Our brother also knows and he's cool about it but still we really don't talk about it much, he has our simplyplural but hardly ever checks it which I'm fine with I still feel uncomfortable with him really knowing I guess even though I love and do trust him? We mainly just talk about DID through the lense of media like Moonknight and stuff with him.

We've had friends who've known us as a system before some were pretty good with it, but we don't have any of those friends anymore. We've also had two system friends at one point but sadly we grew apart from both of them too. And I don't think with any of them we properly opened up.

But then there's my qpp, we've known them for four years and they've known us as a well 'us' for almost all of it. It took a while before we really opened up and I'm sure we still have ways to go but I trust them so much, more than I have with anyone and it's so great. They're so understanding and non-judgemental, they treat the others amazingly and have never made us feel like we're crazy or a burden. And I love them so much.

For Christmas/Yule they got us the DID rabbit from plushiedreadfuls and I felt so seen, like sure it's just a stuffed animal but it just means so much to me and the rest of the system. We named them Astaroth and we bring them with us outside a lot to help cope with stuff ranging from dissociation, anxiety, flashbacks etc. Today was a rough day for me and Aspen and they honestly helped a lot and idk they just remind me of my qpp and it makes me happy.

Sorry this just became a rant about my lively qpp but like they're the bestttt!!

[spacetimesystem]

Being a ‘closeted’ system is fucking wild. It’s like living a double life. Fuckin,,, call us Hannah Montana bc it’s really us but no-one ever discovers

[manyminded]

[de-rolo-drabbles]

I once heard that there is a place where a mother and father live in separate apartments across a court yard from each other, not because they had a fight or dislike each other, but because they wanted to give each other enough space to grow

And every evening the father would go out to the balcony and play his music in order to let his family know that dinner is ready, simply for the love of the ritual for his family

I want to live a life like this someday. Overflowing with mundane and beautiful little acts of love.

[voidsicle]

When someone follows you and you have to squint in 'fictive, kin or cc?' /lh