#swirl henry miller

[autumnsartblog]

I tried to experiment with his design a little

[damn-stark]

Chapter 2 Butterfly

Chapter 2 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I LOVE LOVE ALL YOU GUYS WHO SHOWED THE FIRST CHAPTER SOME LOVE!! I hope you guys stick around and like this chapter!!

Warning- FLUFF :): angst, talks of violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter.

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x05 (half of it)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

*A FEW YEARS BACK*

Stench of flesh swirls in your nose, upsetting your stomach. Pained screams still ring in your ears. And slowly the more the fire eats away at their flesh, the more the infected and the former friends look alike—like nothing but a pile of bones.

It was the first time….the first time you’ve killed someone not turned into one of those monsters. An actual person. That realization doesn’t let you breathe or move; neither your limbs or your eyes.

“I told you to stay behind,” your dads voice breaks you away from the burning bodies.

You blink and look up at him as he turns to face you, and mutter in brittle voice, “daddy—”

“I told you to stay behind!” He bellows and strides over to you to grab you by your arms roughly.

You gasp at the roughness of his grip and the harshness of his voice. As you keep holding his gaze you see emotions he never directs at you; fierce anger that begins to scare you.

“Daddy,” you mutter and shake your head. “I…I was just trying to help you. I…I—”

“You disobeyed me,” he scolds you and grabs onto you tighter. “You could’ve gotten yourself hurt! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

You glance at the fire burning behind him, and begin to gape like a fish as you try to explain yourself to him through the shame and fear that begin to heighten at the realization of his words.

“I…” you mumble in a quivering voice. “I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to help,” you tell him again and meet his piercing glare. “I just wanted to help you, I saw them,” your voice breaks as tears form in your eyes. “I saw them, they were gonna hurt you! I just wanted to help you!”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

You gasp softly in disbelief, and feel your heart slowly sink at the sound of his sharp words.

“Joel?” You hear your uncle Tommy call.

You snap your watery gaze to him, and see him look down at the way your dad is grabbing onto you. He notices the anger, and slowly puts down his gun to look at your dad in disbelief. You proceed to pull away from your dad as his grip loosens and rush over to your uncle who welcomes you in a much more assuring and less angry way.

That’s when your dad realizes that his anger had gotten the best of him with you. Instead of trying to help you, trying to assure you, he snapped at you out of fear of his own.

“Y/n,” he calls out quietly. “I'm sorry.”

You step away from your uncle Tommy to face your dad, but still avert his gaze out of shame and slight fear. “It’s okay,” you mutter without truly thinking about it.

——

*NOW*

Sunlight dances on the flower patch down below, providing the fluttering butterflies with as much warmth as the sun can provide in the fall.

They’re peaceful insects, quiet and beautiful. Watching them just feed on the flower's nectar is calming in this cruel world, it’s one of the things that brings you peace.

Back in Jackson you grew a flower garden in the backyard of your house just to have them visit, to lay on the ground and read as they fluttered. It’s a silly thing, you oftentimes got picked on by the friends you live with, but what they don’t know is that in that meadow you grew in your backyard is where you see her; in those small purple flowers, in the sweet butterflies that feed off that nectar. That flower meadow is in memory of her, of the sister you had lost, Sarah.

Nevertheless, as you watch them flutter around, the silence that blankets you is broken by approaching footsteps. When you look back you see Sam approaching. You offer him a sweet smile and drag your feet down before you pat the empty spot beside you.

He doesn’t fret and joins your side on the ground. He looks below and then looks at you and takes off the string around his neck to write on the board he carries to communicate.

“What are you doing?” He writes.

Sam hands you the board, and you erase what he wrote to write back, “watching the butterflies.”

Sam leans over and reads the words, and smiles softly before signing with a word you do know now. “Why?”

You shrug and write on the board, “because it’s the closest thing I have to a tv, and I just enjoy watching them. It’s peaceful.”

Sam puts the board down, looks down at the flower patch below to watch the black butterflies mindlessly flutter around with you.

However, you quickly look away to grab his board and write their names that Sarah had told you once. “They’re called Black Swallowtail.” You tap Sam’s shoulder and point to what you wrote.

Sam's eyebrows knit together before he erases the board and signs again since he knows you know this one. “How do you know?”

You shift around and sign back, “S-a-r-a-h. My sister.”

Sam nods in comprehension and then looks down at his board to write, “do they make noise?”

You shake your head and write back, “they’re quiet, like you.”

Sam reads the words and takes them in before he erases it and asks, “do they hurt you? Like bees?”

You sign, “no,” and then erase what he wrote to write back, “they’re gentle. Ticklish.”

Sam reads it and looks at you with a questioning look, so you sign, “wait,” and proceed to slide down the small hill where the butterflies are gathered to pluck a flower from the ground. You then wait until a butterfly lands on it, and quickly shield it so it won’t escape.

Once the black butterfly with the yellow spots is secured, you look up at Sam and point your head to the side so he knows to come. He’s hesitant at first, but he trusts you, even if it’s only been a few weeks since you’ve joined their small group. Then again in small groups like these, when you’re trying to survive, it’s hard not bonding with the people you’re with.

It can be a good and bad thing because some people are big assholes.

Regardless, Sam slides down like you had and steps on his tiptoes to watch the butterfly flutter in your cupped hands.

You then slowly turn and crouch down to be at Sam’s level. You proceed to slowly move the shielded flower towards Sam, and very carefully pull your hand away from the flower. The butterfly stays on the flower like you wanted, so you move your finger towards it and let it crawl on your finger.

Once its little feet begin to tickle your flesh, Sam nervously grins, but seems to be more in awe. So before it can fly away you move your finger towards Sam’s nose, and gently guide the butterfly on his nose, making him immediately stiffen as he nervously laughs.

“See,” you sign. “All okay.”

The butterfly notices that there’s nothing where it’s perched and flutters off Sam’s nose quickly, and Sam only grins brighter. He then albeit quickly proceeds to grab his board to write down, “you were right. It tickles.”

You sign, “I told you.” You shoot him a cocky smile and point your head up the hill.

Sam looks up the hill and quickly begins to sign. You follow his line of gaze and see Henry. He had snuck up on you.

“Y/N…my nose,” that’s all you got from Sam signing to Henry. But hey! You’re learning, it’s been a few weeks and you’ve learned some stuff, that’s what counts.

“Did she?” Henry asks out loud and signs at the same time.

Sam nods and runs up the hill to reach his brother.

You then understand Henry’s question. “Did it hurt?”

Sam shakes his head and signs what you imagine is, “tickles.”

Henry hums and looks over at you to offer you a small smile before he signs and says. “Come on, let’s get going, dinner time.”

You beam at him and run up the hill, “great!” You sign in response. “I’m hungry.”

Since there’s nothing to fear at the moment Sam runs back to where everyone is gathered around, leaving Henry and you behind.

“So what?” Henry interjects. “Was it like, teaching moment with y/n?” He teases.

You feign a laugh. “Haha. And yes, actually. Black Swallowtail, that’s what those butterflies are called, and he knows that now. Thanks to yours truly.” You point at your chest.

Henry scoffs in amusement, bringing silence after, tense silence unlike before because now there’s unspoken feelings. At least from him because you know what you feel, you’re very in tune with your feelings, he doesn't seem to quite grasp what he feels towards you. Or at least that’s what Jace says.

So it seems you have to take matters into your own hands.

“What do you say after dinner, we wait for Sam to go to bed, and stay out to watch the stars,” you suggest with a racing heart. “Just the two of us.”

Henry falters in his pace, but turns his head to look at you. He seems quite surprised, but he doesn’t take long to answer, and stays nonchalant. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

You shoot him a smile. “Cool. I’ll bring my music.”

“I’d say I’d bring the drinks, but well we only have water,” he says with a small smirk.

You laugh softly. “That’s fine. I'm cool with that.”

Henry holds your gaze and his lips turn to a soft smile. You mirror his gesture and begin to feel your cheeks burn. Luckily he can't see that.

“I’ve never done this,” Henry breaks the sweet tension. “Date.”

Oh so he is in tune with his feelings.

“Oh, is this a date?” You mess with him.

Henry goes serious and shakes his head, making you quickly grin and assure him before he can take it back. “I’m messing with you, and don’t worry, going on a date is like hanging out. There’s just different feelings out in the open…well…that’s what it feels like anyway. In my 24 years of living I’ve only been on one date, and that guy was,” you let out a deep annoyed sigh. “He was different.”

Henry swallows thickly and hesitantly probes. “Different how?”

“He was a jerk. He only asked me on a date for some kind of game with his friends,” you share. “So if you’re not playing that then you’ll be okay.”

Henry shakes his head. “No, no, definitely not.”

“Cool.” You grin softly.

——

Night had taken over quickly, Sam went to sleep early due to his brother's behest, and now you’re navigating down the green meadow trying to find a spot somewhat secluded from camp.

“What happened to all the infected around here?” You ask Henry. “I haven’t seen many at all.”

Henry drops his gaze and sighs. “When Fedra was running Kansas City, they managed to drive them to underground tunnels.”

You hum and can’t decide if that’s smart or stupid. Both?

“You’ve been out there, what's the craziest infected you’ve seen?” Henry chooses to bounce off your question.

You scoff softly and answer right away. “Well there’s these fucking things out there, they have the fungus growing out of them, they can still see and hear, but they have that strength clickers do, and they like, stalk you. They’re fucking quiet and creepy as hell. It’s crazy as shit, terrifying, I still have nightmares.”

“You killed them?”

You begin to smirk smugly and nod as you hold his gaze. “Three. I’ve killed clickers too.”

Henry hums and then retorts, “show off.”

You laugh and shrug. “You asked.”

Henry lets out a small huff and then swallows back nervously.

It’s honestly very cute. You can tell that this is actually his first time being intimate with a girl.

“Here,” you point out and suddenly drop to the floor.

Henry had gotten a step ahead so he steps back and carefully sits by you.

Once he’s seated you pull out your Walkman and earphones to put them down between you, whilst Henry pulls out the bottle of water and puts it down before pulling out his lighter and igniting a small flame.

“How romantic,” you say with a small grin.

“Working with what we got,” he rubuts, and puts the flame out since it's a hassle having his lighter on the entire time. Instead he proceeds to probe nervously. “Okay….What now?”

You scoff softly and hand him a earphone bud while you put yours on, and put on some music at a low volume.

“I don’t have a lot of music options,” you share as he puts on the bud. “The rest is at home so, for now we’ll listen to…” you pick up your Walkman and check what you have inside. “Britney Spears,” you read outloud. “One of my favorite artists.”

“And,” Henry rolls out and carefully moves his hand over yours to slowly interlace his fingers with yours.

You grin and shoot him a smile. “Yes,” you assure him softly. “Good….Now though! I’m curious, are you lying to me about dating other people?” You squint your gaze.

Henry shakes his head. “No, I'm not. But I’m not clueless either, you know.”

You hum, and then rest your head on his shoulder.

He feels stiff for a few seconds, but he slowly relaxes and lets his shoulders fall.

“Now, we talk, like normal,” you let him know and look up to watch the twinkling stars overhead.

“Okay,” Henry whispers. “What’s….what’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” you share immediately. “But not dark or violet, soft, like a lilac. You?” You ask and lift your eyes to look at him.

Henry looks down and meets your gaze as best as he can. “Red,” he says. “Like just red.”

“Boo,” you laugh. “Think harder, that’s a basic ass answer. I know that’s not it.”

Henry chuckles and draws in a deep breath as he thinks. “Okay,” he breathes out. “Blue…light blue, like the sky.”

You smile sweetly and nudge him gently. “See, I knew it.”

“Okay, now,” Henry proceeds. “I see you have many tattoos, but I’m curious about the one on your back,” he investigates. “The butterfly wings, do they have a meaning?”

Your smile slowly fades, and you have to hold back emotions that threaten to come out. “Yes.” You nod slowly. “My sister. She liked butterflies, I got it because of her so it’s like having her with me.” You glance at your hands and fiddle with his hand. “Do you have any tattoos?”

Henry shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I’m cool enough to get one.”

“You don’t need to be,” you assure him. “You can get one simply because you want one. That’s why I have the ones on my left arm, ‘Kay? And I think you’re cool. Sam thinks you’re cool.”

Henry turns his head and rests his chin on the top of your head. “You’re about the only ones then,” he mumbles. “No one else does.”

You squeeze his hand tighter and whisper, “don’t bother yourself by what others think, that shit, it’s poison. You live like that, you’ll only look at the world black and white.”

Henry lets silence linger for a moment before he asks, “how is it that you always seem to know what to say?”

You scoff. “Half of the time I make shit up.” You smile faintly. “Other times I repeat what I’ve been told by my uncle Tommy, or my mama Maria; she’s truly wise.”

“She your real mom?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No,” you share. “My mom died a long time ago, before all this shit happened…uh, complications after she had me. So, no Maria is my uncle's wife, my aunt. But I’ve known her for a long time now.” You sigh. “After we left Boston, she taught me a lot, like, about being a woman, protection, and the world. She took care of me like I imagine a mom would…” you smile softly at the sky and notice the dark cloud that begins to pass by. Yet you think nothing of the thick cloud and just admire the shining stars not covered by the thickness of the clouds, and stare at them with longing as if Maria’s presence was there.

“She loved me like one would. She’s the only mom I’ve known, so I call her that. Hopefully, you meet her soon. You’ll like her, she can be tough, but she’s good.”

“That’s good,” Henry says. “My mom tried her best, but it got hard. She focused more on keeping me alive soon after the outbreak happened.”

You blink and look away from the sky as his comment reminds you of someone else—it doesn’t sadden you anymore though, not as it once did.

“Yeah, my dad did that too,” you share your truth. “Sometimes he didn’t even feel like my dad….” You pause and want to add more, but in order to not sour the night and bring down the mood, you just leave that as it is and change the topic. “Okay, moving on please so we don’t bring this down. What would have been your dream job in the real world, pre outbreak?”

“Damn,” Henry mumbles. “I don’t know, but I do know that I would have wanted to ride a motorcycle around the country. You know those Harley’s?”

You hum in agreement.

“Well, I would have loved to have one of those and just ride.”

“You still can!” You exclaim excitedly. “I mean I don’t know about a country tour, but you can still have one.”

“Man,” he clicks his tongue. “I hope so. That would be a dream come true….now you, let me guess…you would have wanted to be an actress?”

You grin and gasp softly before you pull away to face him. “Yes!” You agree. “How did you know?”

Henry smirks. “Besides those stories you literally act out at night, you have the face for it.”

You smile wider and try to brush him off. “Are you sweet talkin’ me, Henry?”

He scoffs and shrugs smugly. “Maybe.”

You sit up and shoot him a smile as you slowly stretch your hands out. “I would’ve been a star, I know it.” You lean down close to him, and unknowingly make him nervously catch his breath as you hover him. “You would have seen me on your tv Henry Burrell.” You smirk.

Henry lets out a shaky breath, but composes himself and musters a soft smile, and knows how to sweet talk you. “I don’t doubt it.”

Your smile softens, and you slowly tilt your head to the side to glance at his plump lips before meeting his gaze again.

Many people have told you the same thing, they assure you that you would have been something if the outbreak hadn’t happened. But most of those comments are just that, comments, they’re meaningless. Coming from Henry though, hearing him say it makes you completely confident about a future you could never have. He makes you giddy about it, confident and flustered.

Maybe you’re a hopeless romantic, it’s been said, but you don’t have the luxury of time.

He knows that, he knows that holding back brings nothing good but regret so before you can move away, he leans forward and presses a kiss on your lips.

Albeit before you can savor the taste of his lips he pulls back. “I’m sorry,” he mutters out.

You shoot him a sweet grin before you lean down and crash your lips against his to reassure him that it’s fine, that he had nothing to apologize for. You pull him in and he’s caught off guard, he seems shocked a bit, but he doesn’t pull away, he sits up instead.

Henry’s careful, gentle with his kiss. You’re the one that guides him, that leads him on, but you’re not rough, you savor the sweet taste and make sure to mentally jot down every spark that you feel bounce out, every flutter your heart does. You memorize the sweet bliss that fills you.

When you eventually pull away you remain close, you don’t speak, you bask in the silence for a moment. He watches you with a sweet smile and a soft gaze, the softest gaze that you’ve noticed anyone look at you. So much so that it actually confuses you.

“What?” You probe.

Henry shakes his head.

You hum and provide silence.

Alas, it’s in that same silence that follows that lets you begin to feel droplets of water fall on your head.

When you both look up you see a thick, and much darker cloud covering the sky above. And soon those few drops turn to pouring rain.

“Damn,” Henry mutters under his breath.

You both look down and meet each other's gaze. And as you do, you both burst into laughter at the inconvenience of the pouring rain, and at the fact that you were so distracted with one another that you didn’t notice that it loomed so close. Overall you just laugh at the simplicity that was the rain interrupting your date.

“Come on,” you urge him and grab his hand. “The tree house is empty right now, let’s go up there.”

Henry grabs the bottle of water, and you grab your Walkman before you pull him up, and guide him there in a run.

However, it’s once you’re in that treehouse, as you go back to kissing one another that you catch the sound of distant rumbling. You wouldn't have cared about it, but the rumbling doesn’t come from the sky, so you pull away from Henry and crawl to the window, spotting there in the treeline multiple bright lights, headlights.

“Fuck,” Henry mutters sharply. “Fuck!”

That bliss you once felt is now quickly replaced with racing fear.

“It’s Kathleen,” Henry reveals the name of the rebel group that he said took down FEDRA, the group after him and the others he’s with.

“Go,” he whispers at you as he turns to face you with panic. “Leave!” He yells.

You shake your head without hesitance. “No,” you mumble. “No. I’m staying with you. Come on.” You shove your earphones in your pocket, and hook your walkman on the beltline of your pants before you quickly rush out of the treehouse, leaving Henry in slight disbelief that you didn’t leave now that your leg is healed. You should've, he thought, yet he's glad you didn’t.

——

*A DAY LATER*

“Kansas City belongs to the people!”

Flares light the sky. Chanting, yells, and gunshots fills the air carelessly as if the entire fucking world was liberated of danger and oppression; it’s only a city, and there’s still infected that lurk outside, stragglers that can still cause damage.

“Collaborators, surrender now, and you will receive a fair trial.”

Bullshit…

“We have control of the QZ and the open city. Anyone caught hiding will face charges of counter-revolutionary activities. Kansas City belongs to the people….” The announcer trails off and the current street you’re hiding on is silent again. Finally.

“Look at me, not at that,” you hear Henry whisper. And when you look over you see him communicating with Sam now that this was your next opening to run. “We’re almost there. To more blocks…” he turns and meets your gaze too. “Two more blocks,” he repeats so you can hear.

You nod in comprehension, and see him look back at Sam.

“Stay with me,” Henry continues to whisper softly for you as he signs for Sam. “Y/N, will be behind us.”

The boy's gleaming eyes drift to you to ask for reassurance once more, just like he’s asked all day since you’ve been running.

And it’s true, you were scared yourself, but for him you act confident, to see him at least lose a flicker of fear. “We’ll be okay.” You sign, and smile through your exhaustion. “I’m a wicked shot,” you whisper and let Henry sign that.

Sam looks back at you and sighs before nodding in comprehension.

“Ready?” Henry asks you.

You keep on your brave and confident face and nod. That lets Henry grab Sam’s hand once again to then bolt on ahead. You follow right behind their tail, with a hand on your rifle in case there’s suddenly a surprise.

Luckily though, you make it to the building some old man had told Henry about without any surprises. It was supposedly clear from any of the rebels too, so once that door closed and that lock clicked, and your flashlights lit the room, you were able to let your hand fall from your rifle.

“We’re going up,” Henry signs and whispers.

Sam nods. And you don’t need to say anything for Henry to know you understand, so he’s able to tell Sam to turn on his flash before they both slowly go ahead and you follow to watch their back.

Once you make it to the top, once Henry opens the door and reveals some storage room that old man doesn’t seem to be here.

Or at least that’s what you thought, because some old man suddenly jumps out from behind an old cabinet with his flash and gun pointed at the three of you, causing Henry to stop Sam and you in your tracks to point his gun right back at the man. Whilst you pull out your rifle and outgun the man.

However, given by the sound of their sighs, and the fact that they’re lowering their guns, this is the man Henry saw.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Henry says and looks back at you. “It’s okay, you can put the gun down.”

You glance at the old man with his gun lowered and hesitate for a second before you hang the rifle back around your shoulder.

“It’s up here,” the old man says and turns to pull down some hatch. “Climb up on this,” he says and taps the cabinet and some box.

You’re sort of unsure to climb up since it looks so eerie up there, but Henry doesn’t second guess the man and hands you the green bag of supplies so he can climb up first. He then helps Sam up without hesitation, so it must be safe…

“Go on, I can help with the bag,” the old man tells you, but you still can't be assured of your safety nor do you trust him like Henry does, so you clutch onto the bag and offer him a faint tightlipped smile as you shake your head.

“It’s alright,” you mutter and then climb up on the cabinet and box. “I got it.” You pull off the strap and hand the bag to Henry first before you grab only the edge and pull yourself up.

“You got it?” Henry asks you as he turns away from the bag he sat down to try and help you.

Yet you manage to get in all by yourself just fine. “Yeah,” you assure him. “I got it.”

Henry puts his hand on your back as you stand up regardless, and helps you to your feet, letting the old man come in last without help.

“You sure they don’t know about this?” Henry asks the old man, while you proceed to set your backpack down to pull off that damned weight. However, you keep your rifle on you, you just pull it off your shoulder to raise it and point your scoop at the gaps that are on the cardboards covering the windows, just to make sure that the street is clear.

“I got it from a FEDRA officer,” the old man says as he turns on the lamp hanging from a pillar. “Patient.”

You lower the gun and walk to the window Sam is sitting under to check through that one too.

“…owed me a favor,” the man continues, whilst you hear Henry put down the cans of food you had managed to throw in. “He said he found it himself, never told anyone about it.”

“What if they got to him?” Henry cuts in, making your curiosity grow as well. So you lower the gun and look over at both men to wait for the answer.

“They already did,” the old man deadpans . “He won’t be talking.”

It’s good to hear, but still not so assuring. Albeit you don't show your fear, not with Sam right by you, he’s already terrified, he looks even more so up here. So instead you put your gun down and tap his shoe with yours to try and assure him with a small smile, and a sign.

“Clear. We’ll be okay.”

Sam swallows thickly and slowly lowers his shoulders, but doesn’t completely untense.

“Hey,” you sign and then tap your firefly pendant.

Sam slowly reaches for the one you gave him and holds it in his hand tightly.

“Clear outside?” He signs his questions.

You nod, and exhale out deeply to release some stress so he can mirror your actions. And this time instead of remaining tense, Sam unzips his jacket to pull out his board.

You watch him for a second longer and notice he keeps grabbing the pendant as he begins to draw.

“Y/N?” Henry calls your name and draws your attention back to them. “How are you on bullets?”

You walk towards the pair and hum before giving your answer. “3 on my rifle, and 4 on my pistol. Not enough, but good nonetheless.”

Henry sighs and nods. “Good.”

“Mines empty,” the man says and puts his gun away.

“Yeah, so is mine,” Henry reveals his status.

“We weren’t shooting our way outta this anyway,” the man adds hopelessly.

“No,” Henry interjects. “So we’ll sneak our way out.”

You rest your hand on your hip and watch him count the cans you have.

“How?” The man probes.

“Tunnels,” Henry shares.

“Tunnels? Why go to the trouble? You can kill yourself right here.” The man comments.

You scoff and snap back. “It’s either that or we die up here. I won’t let that happen, we won’t. Infected aren’t smart, we will find a way out.”

The man glances at you and keeps quiet.

“Twenty two cans, and six pounds of jerky for the four of us,” Henry shares now that he’s done counting. “If we stick to the minimum. I think we can make it 11 days? So that’s how long we have to figure it out.”

Not good, but it’s enough.

“Is he scared?” The man refers to Sam still in the corner drawing and holding the pendant.

“Yeah,” Henry says. “Well, he’s seen a lot. Nothin’ I can do about that now.”

First, you all witness some of the people you were with get shot. Then you get separated from the group whilst you were running from those after you. And lastly the horror the city holds. Who wouldn't be scared?

“He’s scared because you’re scared,” the old man says correctly. That makes Henry stop what he’s doing to look at his brother for a moment before he walks over to him.

You let him have his time with Sam, and instead finally take a moment to finally sit after running all damn day.

“How good are you with that rifle?” The man asks you.

You glance down at the cans of food and shrug. “My uncle taught me, he was in the military before the outbreak, so I like to say I’m a good shot.”

The man slowly sits down too, and when you glance at him you see him nodding in comprehension.

“That’s good,” he whispers. “We’ll probably need that.”

You hum and look back at Henry and Sam, and catch them both drawing on the walls now.

It’s a simple thing just to pass the time, to make Sam happy and fully relaxed. Besides, seeing him like that makes Henry happy and relaxed. And seeing that they can both find a bit of happiness in this wooden cage, that Henry isn’t strict and just focuses on teaching Sam how to survive, makes you smile and watch him with admiration.

It’s good that he’s a brother and a father to Sam, he needs that….

You grin softly.

Henry seems to feel your stare as you get lost watching them and looks back, catching your gaze.

You offer him a small smile and look away right after, even if that won’t erase the fact that he had caught you staring at him. He also then proceeds to join you on the floor nonetheless, and taps your leg with his foot. “How’s your leg?” He asks.

You drag your feet up against your chest. “Fine,” you assure him and slide your eyes back at him. “It doesn’t hurt anymore thank god. There’s just a scar left.” You hug your knees and rest your chin on your knee caps. “How are you feeling, Henry?”

Henry sighs. “Besides tired….” He hesitates and averts his gaze. “Guilty.”

You slowly furrow your eyebrows in confusion and probe. “Why?”

Henry lets out a deep sigh and drifts his eyes to you. “I dragged you into this, into my problem. You could’ve been on your way home now.”

You lift your head off your chin and shake it as you reach for his hand in his pocket to hold it in yours. “No,” you argue and lean in close to him. “No, I choose to follow you. I told you I’m sticking with you and Sam. We’re going home together.”

Henry licks his lips and shakes his head. “You don’t know what I’ve done, y/n,” he rebuttals. “I’m not a good guy.”

“And you think I’m a good person?” You spat. “I know what you did, Jace told me…”

Henry scoffs at the mention of his friend's big mouth, but let’s you continue.

“You saved your brother. He was sick and you saved him, you—”

“And I got a good man killed in the process, y/n,” he cuts you off sharply since you don’t want to blame him like he blames himself. “That makes me a bad guy. I am a bad guy. And now I have you here, hiding, surviving off scraps. Can't you see?”

You blink, and let out a shaky breath before you slide your legs down to turn around and sit on your knees to face him. “Henry, listen to me,” you say softly and pull his hand out to cup it with both hands.

“I’ve seen bad people, I’ve looked into the eyes of bad people. I’ve been a bad person, a truly bad person. So I know. And Henry,” you say softly. “When I look at you, I don’t even see a flicker of that….” Your voice breaks. “You have got a good heart, I can tell, I have sense for that stuff.” You laugh softly. “You’re good, Henry. Sam sees that, he knows that. I know that.”

Henry lets out a deep shaky sigh, and drops his gleaming gaze. He keeps his hand in yours though, and then lifts his other hand to cup yours.

“You’re not a bad person either, you know that,” he tells you softly and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “You’re a survivor. A real one.” He lets your hand go and instead lifts it to let it hover your cheek. As if he’s hesitant about grabbing your face out of fear that he was stepping out his boundaries.

“A bad person wouldn’t be stuck here,” he continues. “A bad person wouldn't have helped. A bad person wouldn’t be as…optimistic as you are,” he grins softly, making your smile wobble. “Even after getting stabbed. I could say a hundred more things already to prove you wrong and I’ve only known you a short while. Sam,” he points back to the boy busying coloring. “Could say a thousand more.”

You scoff softly and lean your cheek against his hand, making him stiffen for a second before he begins to very slowly caress your cheek.

“Is that alright?” He asks and leans in closer to read you too. “It’s not….too fast?”

You shake your head. “No,” you assure him. “It’s fine. I like it.”

Henry's smile widens and he proceeds to let his gaze linger on you for a moment longer before he mutters. “Thank you.”

You drop your gaze and smile at the ground. “This was supposed to be about you,” you mutter.

“It’s okay,” he says with a hint of smugness. “I like talking about you.”

You giggle and shake your head.

——

*10 DAYS LATER*

The room is quiet, deafening so. Nothing compared to the loud nightmares haunting you.

The air is chilly, and your clothes are cold. As your eyes focus on the painted room you see it’s basked by darkness; no lamp—well there is light, but it’s a dim and cold light, and it comes in from the small holes on the cardboards.

Did you really not sleep at all? It doesn’t feel that way, but it’s dark so probably not.

You sit up and stretch out your arms, feeling them slightly sore from sleeping on the hard ground. You rub your face to get rid of all the crap on your face as best as you can with just the heels of your palms since you don’t have water to splash on your face.

When you put your arms down, and look back you catch Henry’s stare, and a faint smile he musters.

“Hey,” he whispers.

You turn yourself around to face him, and notice Sam sleeping on his other side.

“How you feeling?” Henry asks.

You let out a long breath through your nose whilst you shrug. “Sore,” you croak. “I miss my bed.”

Henry scoffs softly and leans forward to pick up a can of food. “Here,” he says and hands you the can of food. “We saved you some.”

You hesitantly grab it and blink in confusion. “You guys ate?” You ask with your eyebrows knitted together. “Again?”

Henry rests arm back on his knee and his smile turns to a smirk. “I…uh, let you sleep in for the day.”

An entire day?

You put the can down and lose your confusion to stare at him with annoyance and disbelief. “We have…” you pause and shake your head. “We have a schedule, Henry,” you argue. “I sleep at night and you sleep in the morning. That’s not fair.”

Henry looks down and shrugs softly. “It is because I don’t care, it doesn’t bother me. Besides, you seemed at peace so Sam and I let you sleep in.”

The thought behind it fills you with joy, and it makes your heart flutter, but it’s still…it’s still not fair for him.

“What about the old man?” You quip since he’s not here anymore.

Henry slowly lifts his eyes and his smile fades. “He hasn’t come back,” he shares. “He probably…got caught.”

You blink and lose your attitude as you’re now filled with slight guilt.

“That means that can is the last bit of food we have,” Henry continues and points to said object by you. “Until we leave.”

You look at the can of food and push it to him. “Leave it for Sam.” You tell him.

Henry quickly pushes it back to you and counters you. “No, we ate already. You haven’t since yesterday. You need it.”

Your stomach grumbles at the reminder of that fact, and you hesitantly take the can without any more fuss.

“We’re on our own now,” Henry whispers. “Which means…you can go y/n. I don’t want to hold you back, you have family waiting for you back in Wyoming, I want you to see them. Being here with us…I can’t guarantee you will.”

You snap your gaze up to him and shoot him a pointed glare. “Why do you keep saying that to me, huh?” You snap. “Like if I’m actually gonna take your word and just leave you guys behind.” You put the can of food to the side and lean into him.

Henry rolls his eyes down and sighs deeply at your stubbornness.

“Henry,” you insist and snatch his hand off his knee to hold it in yours. “It’s not just me anymore, it’s us. We’re going to Wyoming together, okay? We’re going to Jackson. We’re gonna go home, we’re gonna sleep on a bed.” You muster a small smile. “You’re gonna meet pretty girls….”

“Pft.” He breathes out and shakes his head with a small smile.

“We’re gonna eat a delicious sandwich from the bar, you’re gonna meet my uncle, and my momma. Sam is going to school, have friends. We’re going home.” You assure him sweetly.

Henry blinks, and meets your eyes with a soft gaze and a sweet smile that you like to see on him. He proceeds to cup your cheek and pull you in closer to him.

“Only girl I need is you,” he sweet talks you.

You scoff and roll your eyes, making him chuckle quietly so as to not wake up Sam, before he pulls you in for a deep kiss that you both linger in. That you both want to take further, but restrain yourselves and pull away and keep your foreheads against each other.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your lips. He never stops telling you that.

Albeit now you don’t tell him to take it back like before, you let him say it and relish in the silence before you press a kiss against his lips and smile. “Go to sleep,” you tell him. “I’ll keep watch here.”

Henry hums and pulls back to pick up the can of food. “I sleep, you eat.”

You scoff and nod slowly as you take the can from his hand.

Before you eat though, you go down and go to the bathroom, Henry goes down with you to keep watch. And once you get back upstairs, Henry is quick to fall asleep, letting you eat and watch him and Sam in the silence of the room that was only accompanied by the sound of their soft snores.

Or at least it was quiet for a while until Sam woke up.

“You okay?” You sign your question.

Sam yawns and nods. “Yes,” he answers. “I just had a bad dream.”

You put the empty can down and offer him a sweet smile. “Want to talk about it?” You ask him.

Henry hesitates before he shakes his head. “It wasn’t bad,” he signs back to assure you. “I'll be okay.”

You smile wider and nod. “Good,” you sign. “Now. Back to sleep then.”

Sam puts his finger up and turns around to look for something real quick. You drag your leg up, and rest your chin on your knee as you wait for him.

Once he turns back around he grins as he lifts a piece of cardboard that has three people drawn on it.

“I drew this,” he signs. “Today while you slept.”

You scoff and point your head to the drawing. “Tell me about it then.” You press him.

Sam smirks proudly and points to a small masked hero with a cape on it. “Me,” he signs and then drags his finger to another masked hero, this one albeit is taller than he was. “Henry,” he shares and then drags his finger to the last person; one with butterfly wings, eyes like yours, and half of the face covered by a black mask. “You,” he reveals, and smiles shyly.

You beam at him and probe with obvious excitement. “Really? Wow. What are my powers?”

Sam puts the drawing down and doesn’t fret explain what you ask for. “Flight because you have butterfly wings drawn on your back. And you can make shields like The Invisible Woman, because you are brave…”

Your smile softens at his explanation and you’re actually very touched by how much thought he put into it.

“And super strength because you are strong.”

You sigh softly and grab at your chest. “I love it so much” you sign back quickly. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Sam's smile turns timid, and he drops his head to hide his fluster.

As much as you do enjoy his company, and feel touched by his drawing, you do want him to sleep for a little while longer.

However, before you can tell him he snaps his head up and beats you to signing. “Will you tell me a story?” He asks.

You let out a deep exhale and first put a but. “And then you will sleep.” You insist.

Sam nods quickly.

“Okay,” you give in. “Let’s do it.”

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

As Henry wakes Sam up, you pack up what you can and what you have left, which isn’t a lot. A lot of Sam's crayons are wasted since he's been giving the blank attic some well deserved color. The food is gone so the green bag is mostly empty. And everything else you have goes in your own packs, so maybe you should be at least thankful that you don’t have to carry so much weight at the moment.

“Y/N,” Henry calls out.

You hum and look back at him with a questioning look.

“Can you pass me the red paint?”

You glance at Sam and notice that he has his eyes closed. You want to ask about it, but you just choose to wait and hand Henry what he asked for first.

“Watch,” Henry says to you and wraps cloth around his fingers to dip that in the red paint a bit before he leans towards Sam, and paints a thick red stripe over his eyes that makes it look like he has a mask on. Like the ones he paints on his hero’s.

“Wow,” you sign when he opens his eyes. “You look very cool.”

Sam smiles, and Henry pulls out his knife to let Sam see his reflection on the metal.

And once he does he grins and nods in appreciation. “Now,” Sam signs to you as Henry puts his knife away. “I have my mask on, like you have your wings.”

You grin and nod. “Yes!” You sign and lift your eyebrows to show your excitement, whilst you pick up your backpack off the ground since all you needed was for him to wake up so you could leave. “Exactly! We are cool now.”

Henry turns back around and helps Sam put on his jacket, while you grab his backpack off the ground.

“Now,” Sam tells you after he has his jacket on and his brother is turned away grabbing his own things. “Henry needs something too.” He stands up to his feet, and you hand him his backpack.

“We will have to think about what to give him,” you tell Sam as you strap your rifle on your shoulder.

Sam nods in agreement and drifts his eyes to Henry slowly trying to slowly open the door.

After making sure that the ghost is clear, you all proceed to climb out, and carefully walk down the stairs to reach the door that you had once walked through 11 days ago.

However, before you can walk out, even if Henry and you learned the patterns of the group, he puts a table against the door to climb on it and peek through the window over the door to check if the ghost is clear outside.

For inside you can hear nothing echoing in the distance; no shouts, running engines or distant gunshots, but you still wait cautiously, and watch Henry turn away from the window first before you can act.

“It’s okay,” Henry signs to Sam and you as he jumps down.

Just like you assumed.

However, even if Sam got the okay, he worries and questions his brother. “You don’t hear anything?”

Henry shakes his head and reaches over to push the table away. Albeit just as you take a step over to help him, tires suddenly screech, causing Henry to stop, and for you to do the same but grab Sam’s shoulder to hold him still.

Sam then turns to question what had made Henry and you stop, but tires screech again and a crash follows to sound, causing you to jump and cover your ears. Henry, though, grabs Sam, and your arm to pull you both down with him.

Sam signs something to both Henry and you, but you keep your eyes focused on the door as gunshots begin to go off. You remain frozen out of fear in the same spot Henry had pulled you down to, and don’t react or stand up until Henry gets back up on the table to peek through the window.

“Henry,” you call out and sign so Sam understands what you’re saying. “Stay down.”

“Let me just check,” he rebuttals.

You grab Sam’s hand and pull him with you as you take a step closer to Henry.

Another gunshot proceeds to go off though, making Henry duck, and Sam to tighten his hold around your hand as he watches his brother's reaction. And just as Henry slowly lifts his head again, you turn to face Sam.

“We will be okay, it sounds to be happening across the street,” you let Sam know. “Gunshots, but not a lot. Maybe a fight.”

Another gunshot goes off, and your shoulders jump, but you try to remain collected in front of Sam.

“Another gunshot?” Sam asks since he sees your reactions.

You nod and let him know, “Just one.” You turn to ask Henry what’s going on, but he suddenly ducks for a few seconds before he lifts back up one more time. After a few seconds he finally decides to jump back down as it goes quiet.

“What's going on now?” Sam asks Henry before you can.

Henry glances at you with a frown and shares his slight fear, before returning his gaze to his brother and looking nonchalant so Sam won’t worry as much.

“New plan,” Henry shares with the both of you. “We follow this man that just killed one of the rebels.” He explains making you feel shocked over that fact. “I know the streets, and even if we have you, y/n, we can possibly work together with this man.” He keeps his eyes locked on you to ask for reassurance, to wait if you’d argue, but you trust him and agree with a nod.

“We have to get out before more of the resistance comes over. Ready?” He asks Sam and you.

“Yes,” you sign and say, earning Henry’s attention. “I’m with you.”

Henry’s lips lift slightly before he gives you a thankful nod.

And just like Henry had mentioned, those same loud ass cars come soon, you can hear their loud rumbling engines, they make a commotion about one of their own dying and finding the people who did it; Albeit Henry did say it was only one old man. Nevertheless, by the time you imagine they get to searching the nearby places for that guilty man, you’re already out of the building, following that man you can’t see but Henry can.

Yet, it’s because of that same search that you have to be even more cautious like before. You have to hide in alleys, and take long pauses to wait for cars to roll by before continuing after the man.

Night comes, and you finally enter a building, but, you end up having to follow the fucking old man thirty something floors up the damn building. It’s safe sure, but so fucking high up after running all day.

Furthermore, as you’re walking to the room at the end of the hall, just as you’re about to reach the room, glass crunches under your feet, making Henry and you halt immediately, and for the both of you to stop quickly Sam too.

“Noisy?” Sam asks both Henry and you.

Henry agrees and answers. “Noisy.”

You pull your rifle strap off your shoulder, and watch Henry pull out a gun before grabbing Sam’s full attention. “Remember what to do?” He asks Sam.

Sam makes a gun sign and points to the door. Henry nods and then hands Sam the gun. And since it’s probably a bit heavy Sam lowers his hands, making Henry secure the boys hold around the weapon before looking up at you now.

“Y/N,” he signs and doesn’t speak for safety. “Stay here. If anyone comes in, jump them. Or if shit goes down in there and you hear gunshots, go in and surprise them for us. If you hear nothing then I’ll call you.”

You’re hesitant to obey, you want to go with him. But…after being stuck together in the attic for 11 days you trust him with your life, more than anyone. So you listen to his plan.

“Okay,” you assure him. “I will wait, but…” you pause and pull out your pistol from your holster. “Use mine. I have bullets, you don’t. I can’t have you go in unprotected.”

Henry glances at your weapon and seems hesitant to take it for a moment, but he has no choice but to trade guns.

“You know how to use it, yes?” You manage a joke.

Henry rolls his eyes and grabs Sam to walk ahead, leaving you to stand back and wait. Wait and listen.

Wait some more even when you catch someone else's voice inside; a young girl's not an old man yelling out the same name as your own fathers.

“Eyes on me,” you hear Henry command. “Eyes on me. You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you. We wanna help you.”

So they seem good?

Hm. You push yourself away from the wall and step in the middle of the hall, you try to get a view inside the room Henry and Sam had gone into, but it’s too dark. All you can go off of is Henry’s voice, which you can detect a hint of nervousness by the way.

“Okay,” a second voice says; an oddly familiar, deep and deadpanned one.

“Okay, uh,” Henry proceeds shakily, “I don’t know what the next step is with something like this…”

Oh sweet, sweet Henry.

You should’ve gone in his place instead.

“….but if I lower my gun, we didn’t hurt you, so you don’t hurt us, right?” He continues, providing a long pause that makes you lift your rifle and take one step forward.

“That’s right,” the manly voice responds in a deadpanned way. Which is funny because it actually sounds like your dad too.

“That’s a weird fuckin’ tone, man,” Henry snaps out nervously.

“That's just the way he sounds,” the young girl interjects quickly. “He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay.”

“Everything is great.”

Obviously not. But Henry doesn’t yell out for you, so you trust him and stay put.

“Dude.”

“Fuck!” Henry swears, making you look down at glass littered on the floor to step on the gaps that are clean—“okay. Listen,” Henry continues. “I’m gonna trust you.” Silence follows and you imagine he’s taking this time to communicate with Sam or think some more.

“But if either of you guys try anything,” Henry then exclaims. “Yeah? We also have someone else with us, she’s strong, so don’t try anything. Yeah?”

There’s a murmur you can’t make out before that manly voice speaks again. “Can I sit up?”

“Slow,” Henry says. “Get up slow. Y/N come on in…it’s okay!”

That’s your cue.

You only lower your gun a bit, but keep your hands tightly secured around your weapon as you slowly walk to the door.

“Who are you?” The man asks Henry now.

“My name is Henry. That’s my brother, Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City,” Henry’s voice gets louder the closer you approach the room. “Although, right now my guess is you’re running a close second.”

You reach the door and slowly push it open, announcing your presence to the others in the room. Yet as you step in the first person you focus on is Sam since he’s closer to the door. You’re about to ask if he’s okay, but you see the man behind him and slowly drag your eyes up to identify him.

And as soon as you land your eyes on his face, you freeze and gasp as you recognize his dark eyes, that face that has more wrinkles on it than before. You recognize his face even if it’s been years since you last saw him. After all, you could never forget how he looks, even with the anger you hold for him. You could never forget him, your dad.

“Oh my god,” you murmur and drop your gun as you keep your eyes on him, as you watch him slowly lose that furrowed brow, that look of nonchalance. You watch him grow disbelieved, or at least that’s what you want to think.

“Daddy?” You call out and stride over to him, whilst he walks over to you slowly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing, as if he’s trying to debate if you’re some vision or not. “Daddy,” you murmur as you stand before him. “It’s me, It’s—”

Before you can finish your sentence he wraps you in embrace, he wraps an arm around your back, and slides his other hand to hold the back of your head. While you stay stiff in his arms.

“I know,” he murmurs against your ear. “I know baby, I know.” His voice is soft, not like it was a few minutes ago. He’s warm, and under the sweat you still recognize his own scent, it fills you with nostalgia and joy. It makes you hug him back and close your eyes to bask in the relief and safety you’re hit with in his arms.

“Let me look at you,” he whispers and pulls back to grab your face and study you. Study you after years of not seeing you. “Look at you….” He smiles softly and wipes away the tears on your cheeks that had broken out. “You’re all grown up. You’re so beautiful.”

You notice his graying hair. You see the exhaustion in his eyes, and the relief.

“What’s going on?” You hear the girl ask, but you don’t look at her or think further about her presence, all you can focus on is the man before you, and the fact that as of now that anger you held so close in your heart begins to wash away.

“Look at you,” you redirect with a wobbly grin. “You wear diapers yet?”

He scoffs softly. “I’m getting there.”

You laugh softly and linger in front of him for a second longer before you both hug each other again, before you cling onto his neck like you would when you were a little girl, when you’d greet him home from work, when he’d carry you after you woke up, or simply when you just needed his embrace. You cling onto him with fear he’d disappear.

So now, no one in the room could deny your connection.

“Oh baby girl,” he whispers.

You cry softly and nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck. You stay in the embrace for a few more moments, and he doesn’t try to pull away until you do to face Henry and Sam, and explain what they’re witnessing.

“This is my dad,” you sign and say out loud.

Sam blinks and looks at your dad by you, and then nods in comprehension, whilst Henry looks a bit disbelieved by the fact.

“Uh, sorry for the…gun,” Henry adds anyway.

“Dad,” you say and turn to look at him, “that’s Sam,” you point to the boy. “And that’s Henry….” You glance at the man and smile softly. “My partner.”

Henry meets your gaze and mirrors your gesture.

“Ellie,” the girl interjects and steps towards you to offer you her hand.

You snap your gaze to the small girl and quickly look at her up and down—brown hair, pale face, brown eyes. She can be his kid. Albeit she looks a bit too old to actually be his kid without you knowing about it. Then again it has been some time…so there’s a possibility….

“Y/N,” you share, and offer her a feigned smile as you take her hand so as to not be cold.

You then pull your hand away and think that she can be Tess’s kid with your dad, the girl kind of has a resemblance to Tess. However, you don’t see Tess here. Weren’t she and your dad inseparable?

You don’t ask about her though, even if you are curious.

“What are you doing here?” Your dad cuts in, letting you look at him. “You’re supposed to be in Wyoming.”

You sigh and nod. “It’s a long story, really. I’m sure I can share later.” You turn and head over to the gun you had dropped in front of the door. “What are you doing here though? It’s a long way from Boston.”

You hear your dad sigh. “It’s a long story,” he counters, making you scoff in amusement. “I’ll tell ya later. You talk to your uncle Tommy recently?”

You pick up your gun and hang it back around your shoulder. “No I haven't been able to,” you share and turn back around to face your dad. “I haven’t come across a radio in some time. Have you?”

Your dad swallows thickly before he shakes his head. “No,” he says, and you actually begin to worry by the hesitance in his tone.

Yet you don’t investigate further, leaving the room quiet, even if there was so much unsaid between you and your dad.

“Anyone hungry?” Ellie breaks silence.

You snap your eyes to her and nod for Sam and Henry. “Starving actually. You guys have some spare food? We’ve been on the run from the rebels outside, so it’s been a hard couple of days.”

“Yes,” your dad nods.

You offer him a thankful smile and then turn to Sam. “They have some food,” you let him know.

Sam smiles in relief.

“Why don't we set up shop, hm?” You say and break away from your spot to grab a lamp off some desk. “It’s crazy it’s been you this entire day,” you direct to your dad. “If I would’ve known we could’ve reunited earlier.”

The question about who Ellie is to him really kills you, but you keep holding back to avoid hearing what he’d say, what you were afraid he’d say.

“Well only if I knew you were here,” he quips in that same deadpanned voice.

You hum and turn to set the lamp down in between the cushions on the floor.

The girl sits down first and begins to rummage through her bag, while Sam and Henry sit across from her.

“I just got to Kansas City like maybe what,” you explain as you turn on the white lamp, providing at least some sort of light to an otherwise dark room. “Almost 2 months ago, or so.” You sit down across from your dad and meet his gaze. “I wasn’t planning to stay, but well,” you sigh. “Shit went down and I had no choice. That's when I met Henry and Sam.”

Ellie passes your dad something wrapped in paper, and as he opens it and reveals food, he looks over at you again. “Where were you coming from?” He asks and hands you some food that you pass to Sam first.

“Well,” you murmur and drop your gaze knowing he wouldn't like your answer. “A…” you hesitate and scoff. “Countrywide adventure to tell the truth.” You drift your eyes up, catching him stopping his hand midway as he’s about to hand you some more food. He narrows his eyes on you and shakes his head.

“Y/N—”

“Daddy,” you cut him off. “You can't be mad, I’m on my way home.”

A wave of emotions pass, and you swear you can even see a hint of sadness pass, but it doesn’t linger too long for you to confirm it.

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed,” he mutters and hands you a piece of food you hand to Henry. “I can’t believe your uncle Tommy let you leave.”

You scoff and shrug off your back pack, and put down your gun to grab your food now. “I was 22 when I left, I was grown. And he trusted me.”

Your dad blinks and looks at his own piece of food as he swallows thickly again.

“Why did you leave?” Ellie interjects.

You smirk and share your truth. “Prove to myself that I can survive.”

Ellie begins to slowly smirk. “Cool,” she says.

And it might or might not be a choice fueled by your dad, or really his past behavior.

“Where did you get these?” Henry interjects and changes the subject.

“From Bill,” Ellie answers. “He’s dead.”

Oh. Okay.

Silence passes, and your dad takes this time to hand Sam some more food.

And as soon as the boy gets it he taps your arm so you’ll look at him and what he signs.

“Yeah,” you assure him. “I’ll tell him.” You look to your dad and share what Sam told you. “He says thank you.”

“I’m guessing you don’t have much,” Henry adds. “So, this means a lot.”

You hum in agreement.

“How old is he?” Ellie asks.

Henry turns to Sam and shares what Ellie had asked him, making Sam answer.

“He’s eight,” Henry shares for Sam.

Ellie nods and smiles. “Cool. I’m Ellie.”

Henry once again communicates with Sam, causing Sam to look over at the girl and sign cool as he nods.

Silence then proceeds to fall again, but now you catch Ellie hit your dads leg to encourage him to introduce himself now, making you be more assured by the fact that she could be his kid. One he didn’t tell anyone about, not even you…

“I’m Joel,” your dad adds bluntly. “Look, you ate, we didn’t kill each other, let’s call this a win-win and move on.” He glances at you towards the end of his conversation, seeking you to speak.

Yet you don’t, you let Henry do so

“Well, I’m betting that y’all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. And when the suns up, we’ll show you one.” Henry glances at you at the end, so you share an assuring look.

“There isn’t a lot we can see right now,” you add and look to your dad. “It’s dark. Once the sun goes up we can…” you pause and sigh. “Talk more. As of now if you guys want to sleep, go ahead. Henry and I can keep watch.”

“No,” Henry cuts you off. “You’ve been up all day, I can stay awake, Sam and you can get some sleep.”

You meet Henry’s gaze and come up with another option since you know your father wouldn’t be so open to that idea. And well you do want to talk to your dad too, someone you haven’t seen in years and suddenly appears here, Kansas City of all places.

“You sleep,” you direct at Henry. “I’ll…stay up with my dad, there’s things we need to talk about anyway.” You look over at said man, and meet his dark gaze.

And without adding much, your dad hums in agreement, making you smile softly.

“So,” you roll out and look down at Sam next to you. “You,” you point and begin to sign and speak quietly. “Need sleep.”

Sam rolls his eyes, but nods slowly. However, before he can stand up to find some corner, he adds one thing. “I decided what I want to have in Wyoming.”

You grow curious and probe.

“A giraffe,” he shares, making you grin.

“A giraffe,” you repeat. “Man,” you chuckle as you sign to him. “I don’t know how I’ll fit a giraffe in the backyard.”

“You said,” he argues. “Any pet.”

You sigh and drop your shoulders to try and pursue him to another option. “How about a goat, or,” you snap your fingers as the idea comes to mind. “A dog? A Cat?”

Sam shakes his head and looks at Henry and then at you to repeat himself. “A giraffe.”

You sigh in defeat, and nod your head. “Fine, fine, you twisted my arm, I will see what I can do, how about that?” You ask with a soft smile, in that moment missing how Henry was watching you; like he’s never seen something so beautiful in his life.

Albeit, you might not have noticed but your dad does. Your dad saw how you had just talked to Sam, so sweet and caring even through all this crap. So maybe he was right in leaving you with your uncle Tommy.

In the years before he left though, you were somewhat the same, you liked to see the good out of the bad even as young as you were, even as scared of the new world as you were. He doesn’t know how you did, where you got that from, but he knows that if you were stuck with him all your life, you wouldn't have stayed yourself. As you were before this outbreak, so, it’s good that you hadn’t been together until now.

“Are you sure?” Henry double checks as Sam walks away from the group.

You nod. “Yeah. I’m sure,” you assure him. “Go, get some sleep.”

Henry hesitates for a moment before he follows after his brother, leaving Ellie, your dad, and you left. Yet he sends Ellie off to bed too, and she relencutenly listens.

So now it’s just you and him, but neither of you speak until you know everyone is asleep.

“So,” you whisper as you move to sit by his left side. “Are you gonna tell me what you’re doing here?”

“It’s not as exciting as your reason,” he deadpans, making you smile. “I still can’t believe Tommy would let you leave. Tsk.”

You drop your gaze and do share the truth you hid. “He didn’t want me to leave, we argued…but at the end of the day, I was an adult, he knew he couldn’t hold me back.” You lift your gaze to look back at your dad. “You didn’t answer me though.”

Your dad meets your gaze and then glances at Henry across the room for a moment before he drops his gaze and mutters. “No offense or anything, but I don’t trust your partner. I trust you, but not him, so let’s save this conversation for later.”

So he hasn’t changed. That’s good to know.

“Okay,“ you grumble in annoyance, and instead chose to focus on the girl he’s traveling with. “The girl, is she your…”

“No,” your dad cuts you off before you can ask what he knew you were curious about. “She’s not anything. She’s cargo.”

Oh. Well now you’re even more curious. It’s bad he won’t answer a fucking thing.

“So what?” You retort. “Are you on some kinda mission?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Somethin like that.” He meets your gaze, and you let your own gaze linger on him as more questions build up, as you want to spill out so much more. But, right now, at this moment you don’t want to ruin the bliss of this reunion, you’re happy to see him again, and you want to focus on that.

“You,” he continues to speak. “How are you doing, hm? You okay?”

You nod and sigh. “I was hurt, that's why I stayed, but I’m okay now. You?” You ask and prop your elbows on your knees to rest your chin on your hands. “I mean besides being old.”

Your dad rolls his eyes and scoffs. “I’m okay,” he mutters. “And you're getting there too, what are you now 30?” He manages to tease you with a faint smirk dancing on his lips.

“I’m 24,” you correct him. “And 30 is not that old, okay?”

“Yeah, says you, you’re almost halfway there,” he reminds you, making you smile that he remembers. “You still make it a big deal?”

You snicker. “Daddy, you know me right? Of course I do.”

His smirk deepens. “What was it you said when you were a little girl?” He asks even if he still in fact remembers. “That Valentine’s Day was celebrated ‘cause it was your birthday that day?

You nod. “I still believe that,” you mumble with a stifled laugh.

He laughs softly and shakes his head. And you smile softly. It’s been so long since you’ve talked, so long since you’ve laughed together, and now after years of estrangement, sharing that same connection fills your heart with such heartwarming bliss you’ve missed.

“You going to Wyoming?” You quiere a bit mote seriously.

Your dad nods stiffly.

You scoff. “Uncle Tommy might get some kind of heart attack when he sees you.” You grin.

“He’s old,” you both say at the same time.

You giggle quietly and nod. Silence follows, comforting silence that lets you notice the watch on his wrist, the same one Sarah had given him for his birthday 20 years ago. He still wears it.

He never liked talking about her after she died, you can’t imagine that’s changed, but you still miss her and he still misses her too. So without saying anything you sit up and grab his wrist to carefully swipe your finger over the cracked glass.

Your dad watches you and of course doesn’t add anything, he lets you hold his hand to look at the watch instead.

“Get some sleep,” he mutters. “I’ll stay up.”

You let his hand go and breathe out softly before blinking and looking at him. “It’s okay. I’ll stay up with you. I missed you.” You admit.

The corner of his lips twitch to a smile, and he then wraps his arm around your shoulders to press you against him and press a kiss on the top of your head.

You smile and rest your head on his shoulder as he keeps his arm around you. You sit in the silence then, basked only by the dim white light. And you fight it, fight the sleep that came as you felt comforted and safe by your dad, but it overtook you, and regardless of what you told him you fell asleep with your head on his shoulder just like you would when you were a little girl.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

“Welcome to Killa City,” Henry says whilst he, you and your dad look out at the city from an office building.

“No FEDRA,” your dad interjects.

Henry shakes his head. “Not as of 2 months ago, no.”

“We always heard KC FEDRA was—”

“Monsters? Savages?” Henry cuts your dad off, and looks at him as he nods. “Yeah, you heard right. Raped and tortured and murdered people for 20 years. And you know what happens when you do that to people? The moment they get a chance they do it back to you.”

“But you’re not FEDRA,” your dad mutters, and you sigh quietly and avert your gaze as you know what’s coming is something he won’t like.

“No, worse,” Henry says. “I’m a collaborator.”

You clench your jaw and peek over, catching your fathers immediate displeasure and judgment.

“I don’t work with rats,” he snaps at Henry, and side eyes you since he knows he had taught you better.

“Yeah,” Henry scoffs. “You fucking do.”

You sigh and drag your eyes to him. “Henry,” you warn.

Said man glances at you, but he doesn’t change his tone of voice.

“Today you do.” He continues. “‘Cause I live here and you don’t. That’s how we followed you here….”

Albeit you didn’t actually know you were following your own father when Henry told you.

“I know this city, and that’s how I’m gonna help you get out.”

“Why help us?” Your dad queries.

Henry glances over at you and his gaze softens. “Her, for one,” he points to you, making you feel flustered. “And two, I saw what you did, the way you killed those men,” he says and glances back at your dad, making you do the same. “Now, I know where to go, and I trust y/n would have gotten us out alive, but we are safer in numbers.”

You meet your dad gaze briefly before he directs his comment to Henry. “You seem capable enough. You’re armed.”

Tsk.

“You’re wrong, and wrong,” Henry rebuttals. “Never killed anyone. And pointing that borrowed gun at you was the closest I’ve ever come to being violent….so that’s the deal. I show the way, you and y/n clear the way.”

You nod in agreement, and then look to your father in hopes he’d agree too. After all, you are going to the same place.

Yet you can’t read the answer he may have, he makes it hard to do so. But you want to believe he’d want to stick around with you at least….

What if you’re not enough though? He’s left before.

You sigh shakily and want to pull him away, but then a distinctive laugh fills the room. When you glance back you see Sam laughing with Ellie.

She made him laugh.

“Haven't heard that in a long time,” Henry says.

You smile at the boy, and then share that same happy smile with Henry.

“So how are we gettin’ out?” Your dad gives in, making you look to the ground and smile wider.

Without hesitation Henry walks to the table and pulls a piece of paper and pencil from his backpack, making your dad and you gather around the table where Henry is to watch as he begins to write. And shortly thereafter Ellie joins the group too, leaving Sam to sit at the other side of the table in wait.

“Highways, downtown,” Henry explains and points and circles the spots with his fingers. “Us. This whole area belongs to Kathleen.”

“She’s in charge?” Ellie probes.

You cross your arms over your chest and nod before answering with what you’ve been told from Henry himself, and the others that were a part of his group. “Leader of the resistance.”

“You can see the way we’re bounded by highways,” Henry continues to explain. “They got people posted all around the inside perimeter. If we get close, we get caught. No question. So how do we get across?” He asks, but then taps the surface of the table to gain Sam’s attention.

And when the boy looks up Henry asks the same question, so Sam can write down the answer on his board. “Tunnels.”

Henry snaps his fingers and says. “Boom.”

“Kansas City has a subway?” Your dad questions.

“No, but they do have maintained tunnels,” Henry answers. “There’s a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including,” he says and looks back at his paper.

“A bank building here.” He writes down on the paper as he explains as well. “So we enter the tunnels here, travel underground, and pop up here. Westside North. Residential. There’s an embankment on the other side of the houses. We head down, pedestrian bridge over the river.” He drops his pencil and claps proudly. “Free as a bird.” He then shoots you a proud look.

And you might be impressed by his plan, but your dad doesn’t seem so.

“You’re right,” your dad comments. “It’s a great plan. So what do you need us for?” Your dad points to him and you.

Henry sighs and shares one concerned look with you before looking at your dad and explaining further. “You noticed anything strange about this city? I mean, other than the strange shit you’ve already seen?”

“No infected?” Ellie answers correctly right away.

“Oh, there’s infected,” Henry corrects her. “Just not on the surface. FEDRA drove them underground 15 years ago and never let them come back up. It’s the only good thing those fascist motherfuckers ever did.”

“So you want us goin’ into a tunnel?” Your dad quips as he looks between Ellie and you.

“Everyone thinks that It’s full of infected,” Henry adds. “Including Kathleen, which means that we’re not gonna be running into any of her people. But you see, what I know is, it’s empty.”

“You’ve been down there?” Your dad asks.

You avert your gaze and hear Henry’s response. “No,”

“Oh god,” your dad mutters in annoyance. “Y/N.”

Yes, it’s a very questionable plan, you know that, but that’s why Henry and Sam had you. To fight for them.

“…but the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it’s clean,” Henry continues. “Completely clean. They cleared it out. All of it.”

“When?” Ellie asks.

“Like, three years ago,” Henry says.

Your dad scoffs and shakes his head.

“Okay, maybe,” Henry quickly adds. “There’s one or two, but you can handle it.”

“What if there’s more?” Your dad counters.

“Or one of those blind ones that sees like a bat?” Ellie adds her question.

“Y/N has fought clickers,” Henry explains and points to you.

You nervously glance up at your dad, and meet his quick judgmental gaze only meant for one man.

“And now I know you have,” Henry continues. “You see? You’re the right people. If it gets bad down there, we turn around, and run right back out the same way we came.”

“Oh that’s your great plan?” Your dad argues. “Put my—”

“No, that’s my dicey-as-fuck plan,” Henry cuts your dad off. “But as far as I can tell…it’s our only shot.”

“Y/N,” your dad presses you to explain yourself and your decision to follow something risky.

“It’s our only choice,” you vouch for Henry. “They chased us out of the forest, and now they have the forest line surrounded. It’s either this way or we go guns blazing. Which is an actual stupid idea. Trust me. Can you do that? I know it’s been a while,” you swallow thickly. “But can you do that?”

Your dads gaze lingers on you, his answer is simple in regards to you, but it’s the man you’re with that makes his choice difficult.

“They’re saying,” you hear Henry interject before your dad can answer you. “They’re going to help us escape.”

You look to the end of the table and see Sam smirk and nod in comprehension.

“Right?” Henry asks.

“Fine,” your dad grumbles, making you smile softly at him.

Good thing it didn’t come to choosing sides because if it had you don’t know who you’d side with….

Regardless, you don’t linger in the building any longer, the next rotation would start their shift soon, so now was the time to flee while the ghost was clear.

There could be surprises considering they are looking for your dad now too. But luckily the run to the bank was clear, and the bank itself was clear—It seems that the resistance group isn’t as smart as they think they are.

The only difficulty is now navigating your way through the long dark tunnel that you’re in.

“This should be it,” Henry says once the door closes behind your dad. “You ready?”

You turn your flashlight on and step down the stairs first.

“Get your gun out,” you hear your dad tell Ellie most likely. But you take this time you pull your rifle down and have it ready just in case something jumps out in this silence.

“How many bullets do you have?” You direct to your dad and look over your shoulder, noticing him climbing down the stairs to join you so you can both lead the way to some other big metal door.

“Not a lot,” he says, and shortly thereafter stops to open the big metal door for everyone. “You?” He asks once it’s open.

“Not a lot either,” you grumble and continue to slowly walk forward with your light pointing at the long path ahead.

“You see? It’s empty,” Henry points out loudly and with pride. “The plan is good!”

You look back to kindly tell him otherwise even if you really don’t smell or hear anything concerning, yet your dad beats you to it.

“Shh,” your dad shushes him. “The plan is good?” He repeats and scolds Henry. “We’ve been here for two seconds. We don’t know anything.”

Henry meets your gaze, and you shoot him a comforting smile before he leans close to Ellie and directs his comment to her.

“Your dads kind of a pessimist.”

“He’s not my dad.” Ellie quickly rebuttals, at the same your dad also does

“I’m not her dad.”

Why do they sound offended?

Maybe there shouldn’t be a reason why you need to be jealous then?

“Just point your light forward,” your dad continues to tell Henry. “And be ready to run.” He continues walking, so you also continue to lead the way at his side.

It turns out to be a long walk. A silent one thankfully. It seems Henry was right about this tunnel now being infected free. Yet as you come approaching some colorful painted doors who knows what may lie behind them.

“Whoa,” Ellie utters as you all flash your lights at the colorful drawings that fill the three walls.

There’s a castle painted around the doors, flowers and plants on the other walls, children, rainbows and a sun. This must be the reason why the infected aren’t down here.

Yet it’s too quiet, and unprotected. And when you feel the walls to check if it’s fresh or old paint. Thankfully, or sadly…the paint is dry and crusted.

“Let’s knock,” you suggest. "If there's infected they’ll run to the door, if there’s people then we’ll hear them too. If there’s nothing then…the ghost is clear.”

Your dad hums and nods in agreement. And just as you step forward and lift your fist to knock, Sam passes you to reach the door, but you quickly grab his arm and face him.

“No,” you warn him. “It can be dangerous. Always, always check if something is safe first, okay?” You take this time to teach him. “You understand me?”

Sam's smile fades, and he quickly responds. “I understand, sorry.”

You shake your head. “You did nothing wrong, just always double check first. Wait. My dad and I will give the sign that it’s safe. Okay?”

Sam nods stiffly and steps behind you, letting you secure his hand under yours, and now knock.

Once you get no response your dad opens the door first and slowly walks in, letting you and the rest follow him inside, noticing a larger room with more painted walls, with furniture and books. A home. An abandoned home.

You let Sam’s hand go and turn your flashlight off since this room is basked by natural light that comes from the vents on the ceiling.

“I heard about places like this,” your dad comments as he slows his pace to study the room. “People went underground after Outbreak day. Built settlements.”

You hang your rifle around your shoulder and slowly begin to walk ahead to investigate more of this living space.

“What happened to them?” Ellie asks.

“Maybe they didn’t follow the rules and they all got infected,” your dad counters.

Or they got tired of underground living and left. That’s what you hope happened anyway.

“No way!” You hear Ellie exclaim, making you snap your head to her out of fear.

Yet when your eyes land on her, you see her and Sam around a small table checking out a comic book.

“I love these!”

Fuck.

You let out a relieved sigh and continue towards a shelf of records and movies. Ellie continues to talk, but you focus on the music and films that have collected dust, giving away the time of unuse; hinting mostly at how long this place has been abandoned.

“…fuck yeah man!”

“Hey, keep it down,” your dad cuts Ellie off. “We’re not out yet.”

There he goes…grumpy, and overly cautious.

“C’mon,” Ellie groans. “Can we just rest here for a while? There’s like, actually shit to do here.”

A certain movie called Curtis and Viper 2 grabs your attention, and makes you smile to yourself while they talked.

“Wouldn’t be so bad to wait the light out a bit,” Henry tries to persuade your dad. “Safer in shadows when we pop back out on the other side.”

You snatch the movie from the shelf and look over your shoulder to wait for your fathers response. And surprisingly he gives in, letting you focus back on the shelf of goodies.

Since the records take too much room in your pack you leave them behind unfortunately, and step over to the box of cassettes, finding many albums that you had left back home, some that were your favorite and haven’t heard in years.

You find books, two that practically caught your attention. You find accessories, and more stuff that you would have enjoyed when you were a little kid. Albeit you still do put on some heart shaped sunglasses for fun now.

And even if it’s a habit your father is used to or should be used to, he still questions your choice of accessory as you join him and Henry sitting around a table. “What are you wearin’?”

You grin and pull up a chair next to Henry. “Daddy, don’t they look great on me?”

Your dad scoffs and looks away. “Well it’s good to see you haven’t changed,” he mumbles whilst he hides his faint smile over the fact.

You grin and proceed to throw your backpack and gun down, to then rest your feet on Henry’s lap as you sit back on the chair. “Look what I found,” you bring up and put your stuff down to show them a pun book. “A pun book. These are so fun, you love these don’t you,” you point at your dad.

His gaze drifts back to you and his eyes narrow. “Y/N,” he mutters, but you ignore him and open the book to read a random joke.

“A book,” you begin to giggle. “A book just fell on my head. I only have myself to blame—“ you stop and snort. “Fuck! No, fuck I said that wrong,” you giggle some more and correct yourself. “A book just fell on my head…I only have my shelf to blame.” You look up and see your dad keep his arms crossed over his chest and his nonchalance on his face, so you look over at Henry, and see him smile.

“Yeah,” you mutter. “I ruined that one.” You scoff and flip the page to read another one. “Ah, another! I used to be addicted to soap,” you laugh softly and glance up at your audience. “But I’m clean now.” You laugh and actually hear Henry giggle.

“Next…” you flip the page and grin as you find a good one. “Do you know what’s not right?” You ask and look up as you press the book against your chest to wait for a response.

“Left,” Henry answers, making you beam and nod.

“Yeah, yeah, you get it,” you laugh. “That was a good one.” You close the book and shove it in your backpack. “I’ll say more later….Now.” You say and sit up to grab another book. “Look. Little Women, my favorite book. Which,” you point the book at your dad and Henry. “I made into a play back home a few years back…”

You miss your dads curious look as you mention that you have made a play since you continue to speak.

“…I’ll let y’all guess who I played.”

“The main character?” Henry probes.

You put the book down on the table and shake your head. “Nope. Read the book and you’ll know. And look,” you continue and lift a cassette. “ABBA, and Kate Bush, Hounds of Love album, I love Running up That Hill.”

“I swear you love every song,” Henry comments.

You shrug and smirk. “Yeah, pft, well there’s too many to choose from.” You bend down and pull out your Walkman to put in the Kate Bush tape.

“Actually, before you do that,” Henry mumbles. “I found you something,”

You blink and snatch your sunglasses off to look up at him without the dark tint.

“It reminded me of you,” he says timidly and leans closer to you to pin something on your poncho.

When he pulls his hand away, you look down and see a small little gold sun pin.

“Uh, you can pin it to your backpack, or I don’t know, keep it there, but I just wanted you to have it.”

You smile softly and look up at him to meet his soft enamored gaze.

“Thank you,” you whisper and grab his chin to caress it before you lean in and press a small kiss on his lips, forgetting in that moment that your father was nearby—“I love it.”

“Good,” Henry says. “Good.”

You both let your gazes linger for a moment longer before you grab your book to hide your giddy grin as you sit back. You then proceed to put on your earphones on, and press play on the music, but can’t stop smiling like a love struck idiot.

But maybe you are one though….

Anyway, you read some pages of the book and miss the conversation that your dad and Henry have, you don’t look up, or listen in. You don’t look up until Ellie and Sam playing across the room catch your attention.

And at first it was just a brief glance since you could hear them faintly through your music, but as you see that they’re playing soccer, as you see Sam trick Ellie to take the soccer ball away from her, you grow nostalgic and sad. You remember Sarah, again, this time more than ever. You remember playing soccer with her in the backyard of your house, you remember tricking her to steal her ball away; the memory plays faintly in your mind, bringing tears to your eyes.

You remember her smile, her laugh. You remember those simple days, and miss her, just like you do every single day that passes.

“…Y/N…”

You blink at the sound of your muffled name and look up, catching your dad standing by you now. You pull your earphones off and hum to probe.

“It’s time to go,” he says.

You draw in a deep shaky breath and nod in comprehension. He walks away and you sigh as you pull your legs off Henry’s lap to pack up your things now.

“I don’t think he likes me that much,” Henry whispers.

You glance over at him and then look at your dad walking to Ellie.

“Just,” you quickly try to assure Henry. “Give him time. He’s,” you smile. “He’s a hardass, but he will come around.” You zip up your backpack and pick it up, before grabbing your rifle off the ground to then stand up.

Henry stands up from the chair too and sighs.

“Come on,” you urge him softly. “Let’s get out of here.”

.

.

.

.

A/N- I don't want to write what follows…

A/N- Can you guess who y/n played in her Little Women play? (That part was added for a reason 😙)

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41

[bowieandqueen11]

Can’t Lose Family / Joel Miller Imagine

Request: Joel request- him helping Reader get her medications and she repays him with a kiss even though they aren't together?

This turned into a much cuter found family fic than I meant it too lmao but also sorry not sorry  @miraclesabound!!

Warning: strong language, fighting infected, mentions of guns and knives, mentions of what happens with Sam and Henry, mentions of blood, and mentions of Sarah!

This one’s pushing 4,000 words lads which has to be my longest one shot - I spent all day writing this, so if you enjoyed please support me by commenting and reblogging!

(I do not own the Last of Us or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @manny-jacinto.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

If you found one more goddamn empty first aid kit, you were going to tear a clicker’s head clean off its stupid mushroom neck.

It hadn’t been an easy journey even getting to this point. Despite Ellie’s numerous protests, snide looks, and even grabs at your jacket with a ‘questioning your sanity’ kind of look, you and Joel had both agreed that a supermall was the best next place to look for the specific kind of medication you needed. 

‘It’s the only place left in this state we haven’t already scoured’, he had muttered from in front of you, pulling up Callus’ reigns and bringing the horse to a sudden halt. The building seemed to loom up from the corner of your eyes like a shooting spore; beams of light seemed to light up its cracks, spraying dust upwards through the shattered windows and clawed bricks until they flew out and danced across the sky. It whistled with every blow of wind, grumbled and heaved with the weight of its walls, howled with the furious screeches of the horde of infected that vacated the forgotten premises.

From where she was sandwiched between the two of you, Ellie managed to squeeze her head out past Joel’s shoulder and scoff. Your grip on her shoulders tightened as she tried to turn her head back to throw you an averse scowl. ‘If you guys go in there and make it back in one piece’, her words are jolted by her nose face planting into the back of Joel’s jacket, Callus rearing up his front legs and whinnying at the piercing cry of what sounded to be a recently turned runner convulsing about in horrendous pain. You straightened her back up on the saddle, and she let you wrap your arms around the top of her stomach to keep her balanced. ‘I swear, I’ll eat my backpack.’

Joel just looked past his shoulder to give her a bemused look.

‘Still would be better than having to hear another one of them lines from your joke book.’ Ellie slapped him on the shoulder, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she was looking down at the sprouting shoots breaking through the strewn concrete on the road to hide her growing smile. ‘Shut up old man. You can never escape Will Livingstone.’ 

You tapped Ellie’s shoulder, and when she turned to see the mischievous glint in your eye, she nodded with a grin. ‘Hey Joel’, you started, waiting for his grunt reply. ‘Do you know the last place I went before the outbreak was too a zoo?’

‘Is that so’, he sighs, not even bothering to turn his head with the foresight to realise where this was going. Hearing Ellie snicker into her hand, her other clutching into his shoulder with anticipation also brought some clarity.  ‘Yeah, the only animal there was a dog. It was a Shizu. Get it? Get it, a Shit-zo-’. Joel just gave a groan that erupted from the pit of his stomach, pretending not to laugh as Ellie erupted into giggles, throwing her head back against your chin.

Joel gazed forward, looking out past the large stretch of empty highway and over the impending treeline speckled in the distance towards the swirl of dull pink and sweet lavender that had begun to transfigure the sky. ‘Yeah, see, this is the problem’, he grunted, ‘maybe being a runner wouldn’t be so bad.’ He couldn’t hide the fact that he was beginning to grin too. 

Ellie snorted, and waved her hand out towards the upcoming building. ‘Well if you go in there, I think your wish will come true.’ Her words brought a fresh wave of silence over the three of you; the kind of forlorn, contemplative stillness that hadn’t shrouded itself over your little makeshift family since you all lost Sam and Henry-. You shuddered, not wanting to go back there anymore. It had been hard enough burying them, let alone trying to deal with the solitude of Ellie’s guilt and the barricading walls Joel had thrown back up at even the mention of the too small grave. It had been hard, the last few weeks, and you didn’t want the people you loved most in this derelict world to fall back into a hopelessness you had fought so hard to drag them out of. 

You didn’t miss the way Joel had glanced back down at his watch though, his face hardening as he steered Callus on.

‘It will be alright, Ellie’, you patted her shoulder and winced as the sound of more infected began to ring out through the dusk and pierce your ears. Ellie shook: not with fear of them, but with terror at the thought that it could take just one wrong move, one wrong moment in this life for her to be left alone again. To be left behind. To lose everyone she loved, yet again. 

But she was brave, and strong, and ready to fight for every scrap she had in spite of the world’s indifference. ‘I know,’ was all she whispered as the three of you came to a stop in front of the mall’s perimeter. The resignation didn’t last too long, though; as soon as Joel had given you his hand to help you down onto the curb, Ellie had started up again at the groans of the building’s floors constricting with the cold.

As Joel had given you a boost up past the half-blown brick wall leaking frost out from the west side of the building, Ellie had thrown her hands up in disgust. ‘Fine!’, she grabbed Callus’ reigns and led him over to a bent piece of iron fence at the edge of the perimeter. ‘If either of you fuckers decide to become infected, I’m gonna kick your shins!’ Even with the crossed arms and huff that followed, when you turned your head to look back at her, she had given you a silent, pleading nod warning you to both come back in one piece. With a final reassuring smile in her direction, you had left the girl stroking Callus’ back, and leant down to heave Joel over into the grave darkness.

The first thing you heard was the sound of sneakers pounding through the walls, the huffing and sliding of about ten bodies coming running towards you. Drawing out your knife from your back pocket, you readied yourself for the oncoming onslaught, but it never arrived. Instead, you were blinded by the sudden flash of gunfire as Joel stepped in front of you, using himself to shield himself from the infected unhinging their mouths and running into the gunfire. Only when he was sure the last one had stopped twitching on the ground did he lower his gun and turn to look at you, raging frenzy clear in his eyes. 

Yet he was so gentle. So, so gentle with you. He clicked on his torch and clipped it onto the lapel of Frank’s old plaid shirt, stained once again with the scent of blood. He reached out a hand towards you, chest heaving as he turned his back to the litter of bodies now staining the linoleum floor. 

‘Are you- are you alright?’ He didn’t know exactly what to do, bless him. So unsure as to how, or if he should show affection anymore. His face fell stern as he looked you up and down, yet his fingers itched against his thighs and clawed at his jeans, as if he were desperate to touch you and make sure himself. You reached out to him with one arm, and he tenderly took your wrist within his fingers. He couldn’t quite bring himself to hold your hand yet, to allow himself that sort of vulnerability, to ever give in to that sort of familiarity with another person again, but it was a step in the right direction.

‘Are you okay?’ The question was more desperate now, more sober, and the most genuine reflection of his pounding heart as he flipped your hand over and used his pointer finger to check your pulse. Sometimes, when the three of you got into tough scraps, it would be the only thing that could bring him back from that fear induced rage. You pretended not to feel his thumb shake against your wrist bone, instead nodding and dragging your fingers down to squeeze his own. ‘Let’s keep going. Ellie will be freaking out by now.’

‘Yes, I am! What the fuck was that!’, you heard echoing in from outside, the alarm in Ellie’s voice filling the vacuous hallway. 

Joel managed to huff out a laugh, before shouldering his gun back round his side and nodding at you. He swallowed thickly, but even as you brushed past him to head further towards the shops, you could see how desperately he was scrunching his lips to try and push away the worry that flickered in his eyes.

And now? After all that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You kick the empty case clear half way across the store, grunting in victory as you hear it smash against the legs of a frayed mannequin and toss it down onto the floor. An ash cloud of dust sprays up at the movement, making Joel cross his arm in front of his mouth and hack a cough as he’s sprayed in white.

‘We still haven’t tried the door behind the counter.’

‘Joel, we’ve tried every damn door in the country. Plus, it’s sealed shut, and I don’t see you packing any shivs to open it.’ You sigh and squat down to the ground, holding your head in your hands for a second. You only open them once you realise the thudding sound you hear is Joel moving over towards the back wall of the pharmacy, straight towards where a huge mass of spasming, bloated fungi seems to be pulsating on the wall.

‘Are you out of your damn mind?’, you seethe, as Joel reaches into his backpack to strap his gas mask on. 

‘On the contrary, I seem to be the only one in this room with any sense.’ Although his words seem to bite, you can hear the mocking tone drip through the crinkled words as they rasp out past the ventilator. Joel joins you in squatting down to the floor, although his movement is done a lot less gracefully and with a lot more complaining about sore joints. He moves the light away from where its strewn over the floorboards to land straight in the middle of the heaving mess, and the sight nearly makes you gag in shock.

‘Ugh, Jesus’, Joel mutters, his face contorting in disgust as he clenches his fist open and closed in preparation. The figure clenched into the wall in front of him was barely recognisable: it’s drooping face was now sprouting from behinds its eyelids, mouth open as if in a never-ending frozen scream, its lab coat caked in dried old blood that seemed to suggest he wasn’t the only one to die in this dank room. ‘Well, here goes nothing.’ Tentatively inching his hand forward, Joel waits for the poor bastard to come tearing off the wall and clamp its three teeth left around his fingers. Thankfully, both for his sake and your heart, which had decided to start pounding through your ears, Joel is successful in inching the infected’s hand out of the way. He reaches into the breast pocket, sighing in relief and turning towards round to your expectant face. 

Perched between his thumb and pointer finger is the rusted tip of a key.

‘Bingo’, he whistles as he stands up, stretching out his back and clicking his spine back into place. You shake your head as he heads off, following him round the counter edge and butting him out of the way once he reaches the back door. Shaking the handle one more time for good measure, you nab the key out of his hand and ignore the cry of indignation he gives you.

‘It’s my stuff we need, so I go first. Those are the rules.’

You slot the key into the lock and give it a firm twist. 

‘Absolutely not.’ You nearly jump when you feel Joel’s hand firmly clamp down on top of your own, effectively trapping you against the doorknob. You glare over at him, but feel the bitter remark you were about to whip out about how ‘he always puts himself in danger before me or Ellie’ dies on the tip of your tongue when you see how scared he looks. 

‘I go first.’ You tut. The grip on your hand grows firmer. His breath hitches as he bends and takes a step closer to you. He’s so close now, you can feel the rapid air escape his nose and brush over the side of your cheek. For a moment, neither of you are able to move; you’re both caught in some invisible entanglement, some building consequence the two of you have never been brave enough to breach before, some kind of tender understanding. You nod your head, realising now just how earnestly the two of you had been dancing around it: how the whole time you had known each other, one was always preparing to die for the other.

‘Please...I go first.’ His gaze drops to your lips, and then to your nose, and then finally settles, for the first time in a while, firmly on your eyes. Unwavering. Resolute. He lurches forward on the balls of his feet, and for a second you think he’s either about to headbutt you or kiss you. Instead, he gently uses his side to butt you out of the way, before turning his efforts to shouldering the door open in three abrupt pushes.

He lurches in, the door giving way before he expected it and taking his feet out from under him. He rolls to the floor, grunting with the effort as he nearly side rolls straight into the side of an empty rack of shelves. With the light in the musty room as bright as a grave, you’re left trying to figure out where Joel has gone by the sound of an empty pill bottle rolling across the room.

‘Joel? Joel! Where the fuck are you?’, you whisper, reaching your arms out and crouching down to try and find him in the darkness. ‘Shit, is that you? Are you alright?’ You grip onto something soft and squishy, Joel’s leg? It seems clad in denim, although slightly torn, as if he had skinned his whole knee slamming against the floor.

You realised your mistake only a second too late. Instead of the welcome, gravelly honey voice of one Joel Miller, and perhaps even the calloused fingers cupping your cheeks before taking your own to lurch himself back up, you were met by the spitting shriek straight into your face. ‘Oh, fuck!’ 

You roll backwards, slamming the back of your head straight into an iron railing. ‘Oh, doubley fu-’ Your shout is muffled by fingernails scraping over your forehead, a hand grasping onto your face and digging in until you could feel blood begin to run down the bridge of your nose. Grappling with your hand, you simultaneously try to pitch your knee up to stop the clicker from completely detaching from the wall and clambering on top of you, and wrestling past its bumpy elbow to reach the knife stuck behind your back. Gnashing teeth leaves drool dripping down onto your neck, and you groan with the effort of trying to stop them from tearing a chunk out of your jugular.

You finally manage to grasp onto the hilt of your knife, trying to lift up your backside to slide it out of your pocket and straight into the skull of the infected on top of you. It doesn’t matter though. A second later, it feels as if molten is being poured in gushes down onto your bare skin; you stifle a shudder as the blood leaks out from the clicker’s eye sockets and sprays over your shoulder blades. You squint, just about managing to make out the outline of Joel’s clenched teeth and furrowed brow as he pulls the crowbar he had managed to find out of the thing’s skull. Pushing it to the side, it flops unceremoniously onto the floor.

‘Jesus...’, you warble out, still slightly in shock that you had come so close to the end right there and then. So clumsily close. So stupidly.

Joel doesn’t give you a chance to finish your thought. You swear it must have hurt when he threw himself down onto the ground, not even pretending to be calm and collected as he comes sliding on his knees over to you. 

‘Are you hurt?’ 

‘H-huh?’

His hands are shaking as they reach up to roam over your face, his movements rapid and rushed and so carelessly unlike him that it only winds you deeper into your confused stupor. Before this - sure, he may have been concerned, but it was always hidden behind a thick wall of confidence and level headedness. But this, this was different. He was gripping onto the sides of your face as if the skin was about to peel away from your body in front of him; he was trembling in the way only a man marred by ghosts could be. As the flashlight blinked across the floor, the glass smashed into fractured shoots by Joel’s fall, all his mind can see with each glare is Sarah suspended in front of him.

‘Are you hurt?’ His voice is shaking as he speaks, tilting your face back and forth as if he’s scanning you for any scrabs and bites, yet his fingers are moving too quickly to truly take any of you in.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine. I just, ah-’, you cup his hands and bring them to rest within your own, both of you using each other’s weight to try and lever yourselves to a standing position again. ‘I think my ankle is twisted slightly.’ You watch his eyes widen, and try your best to shoot him a reassuring smile despite how shaken you were feeling. ‘It’s alright, it’ll be fine once I shake it off. Especially since I see another med-pack over there.’ You let go of one of his hands to point past his shoulder, finally coming back to yourself when you spot another plastic box hanging, squished in between the pharmacist's desk and the wall. 

Despite the elated glow that seems to suddenly gleam in your eyes as you hobble over bits of broken glass and clamber over the smashed up computer monitor, Joel doesn’t let go of you the whole way. Not even when you unclasp the lock and throw the lid back, tilting your head back and laughing in near hysteric delight when you see the full bottles still nestled in dust inside. They move from your hands, up your arms and around your shoulders, squeezing your biceps as the two of you make your way quietly back through the supermall and back out towards the hole to freedom.

‘Fuck me! I thought you guys were gonners for sure!’ For a second, as you glanced out and saw Ellie bent over with her hands on her hips with the relief of seeing the two of you dumbasses hobble back into view, you thought the young girl was going to collapse to the ground. Instead, she took a deep breath and turned back to you with a surprisingly serious look on her face. ‘Did you find any comics in there?!’

‘Are you kidding-’ Joel murmurs out with a huff, waving his hand at her in dismissal. Ellie only raises her hand in a shrug before flipping him off, but the two of them are both smiling as Joel offers you his hand. You take it easily, but before you drop down to the grass again, you surprise Joel Miller for about the third time that day.

Before he even has a chance to blink, you lean towards him and press your lips against the side of his stubbly cheek. His eyes widen, but even as you press a second, quicker kiss against his cheek, he seems too stoic to pull away. When you finally do, he raises two fingers up to the wet patch now gleaming on his skin, and looks at you with a rapturous confusion.

‘Thank you. For everything. For still being here’, is all you whisper with a final look back at him, before falling down through the sliver of dark orange that still falls like firelight between the breaks in the pine trees. Ellie welcomes you back energetically, nearly knocking you over with the speed in which she comes running towards you and wraps her arms around your midriff, squishing the side of her face into your chest.

Joel watches the two of you for a moment: the way Ellie looks up at you as if you were pure unbridled hope as she unlatches herself from you, the way you grab her hand and help her hop back up onto Callus’ back, coming to rest on the side of the saddle before animatedly falling into conversation with her, most likely checking up to make sure she was doing okay with all of this.

He blinks back the wistfulness from his eyes as he stands on the stone strewn crag of the building, the soft ground suddenly seeming so far away. As he watches you, he tries to figure out what he feels: love? Longing? Guilt? Before he even notices, he finds his gaze has drawn itself back down to his wrist, the shattered clock face seemingly staring him down and stifling whatever happiness he was trying to feel.

He covers it with his hands, rubbing his fingers over the side as if it were burning his skin and he couldn’t bear to carry the weight of it anymore. But then you call over to him, and Ellie waves her hand up and beckons him to come down with a bright grin and yell, and suddenly the heaviness seems to unburden, to unlatch its grip on his stomach. 

Sure, the misery of his past still haunted him, still dragged behind his head as he jumped and landed on the ground with a thump. But as he slowly jogged back over to the two of you, the shadows were beginning to lift. The light was beginning to break through, and Joel Miller couldn’t remember feeling so bullishly light in all his life.

[hislittleraincloud]

Miller's Girl swirled w/Status of Chapter 8

So You Know What officially releases tomorrow in its...limited release, and I just gotta say... it's a movie about a seriously horny 17 (in the script she's 17) year old brilliant 'I'm not like other girls' girl who reads classic erotica and wants to fuck her pruney old white guy English teacher. I won't spoil the end... It's just like The Crush, with less superficial pouty lip and more classic literature, unless they changed/softened it for the final film (I didn't pay attention to what draft I was reading).

That's also my story, here. I started writing this shit before I knew of Miller's Girl. The tropes MG and Satisfying Afterburn share are numerous and almost complete, right down to the mini-flashback of Wednesday attempting to seduce her Honors English professor, Professor Fortunato. It's a common (or WAS a common, I should say) trope, the Precocious Girl. And as much as current climate sexuality activists would like to deny it, precocious girls exist, and I was one of them.

I did mention in my bio that some of what I write about is autobiographical, and that I was an extremely precocious child back in the 80s and 90s. Like Afterburn Wednesday, I was left to my devices in my father's library. Henry Miller (the author Cairo likes) was one of the authors that I was reading in not-so-secret when I was around 10, since my own father had a collection of erotica (novels and art). I suppose the perversion is generational. 🫠💦✨ He was not my favorite author at 10 (at 10 it was Dalton Trumbo...I fell in love with Johnny Got His Gun, and Night of the Aurochs was pretty good too...sucks when someone dies before finishing their work), but at 11 I became a Nabokov fan and at 12, Orwell and Highsmith (Patricia Highsmith was a fkn cunt/racist/anti-Semite, but I loved Tom Ripley); I wasn't as moved by Miller's Tropics (however, I was and am an Anaïs Nin fan, and her whole Henry and June/Henry & June thing was just 🔥). Some time before 12 I read the erotic books that I mentioned in the beginning of my story (My Secret Life and Fanny Hill; I bought them at a book fair, and yes, they let me buy them). I digress, but it's relevant to my fiction.

The erotica Cairo reads and writes is designed to do what it does in the movie, just as all erotica is meant to do. Afterburn is erotica too (and all y'all writing E [for sex] are erotica writers).

I don't want

another

fucking

Greyface anon

coming at me

about

Satisfying Afterburn

after this...

y'all can go fuck yourselves.

Also, Afterburn has all of the Miller's Girl tropes, except that 'Miller's Girl' (who is ✨cleverly✨ Professor Miller's Girl and Henry Miller's girl hyuk hyuk get it) doesn't get her man. Afterburn Wednesday does, and that's why y'all Greyfaces hate on me. She gets her man, just as I got my man at that age.

And speaking of 8 and rain (I hate this app, I fkd up this post and put it in my queue instead of saving the draft I was working on)...

I wrote most of this starting late last March 2023 through late April before I started to move sections into chapters. This part here was written at the end of April, but I transferred it into a different document on May 2.

Romantic/sexy rain trope is in 8. Couldn't help it, since Burton chose to make it rain whenever he wanted to...why the fuck can't I. Anyway, a very short fkn snippet from 8.2:

It tells you nothing except that's raining hard. And yeah, it's Wenovan speaking.

Anyhow...off to create...and probably watch this fkn movie tonight (I have my ways).

ugh

[evergreenstringbean]

Fanfiction Masterlist- evergreenstringbean

Please read AO3 tags prior to reading! Some of these are old. Some of these were written for tumblr challenges. Sue me if they're cringe now.

Blue text will detail crossover fanfictions, but are included in both fandom lists. Green will signify oneshots, purple will signify multi-chaptered works. All are completed.

Bandstand

Keeping The Ghosts Away (Nick Radel/Wayne Wright): It happens every night at the same exact time. Wayne doesn't know that Nick isn't asleep this time.

Water and Smoke (Jimmy Campbell/Johnny Simpson): They all want to go on a beach vacation. Jimmy knows he can't handle it, but agrees.

Pets Are The Best Medicine (Nick Radel/Wayne Wright): Nick wants a dog. Wayne, of course, doesn't. Nick, of course, doesn't listen.

Thoughts (Jimmy Campbell/Nick Radel): Jimmy doesn't know why his thoughts seem to never listen to him.

Parallels (Jimmy Campbell & Julia Trojan): Julia can't face the band after Donny tells her what happened to Michael. Jimmy comes to visit her.

Once Upon A Time (Jimmy Campbell/Aaron Miller): Jimmy's so grateful to have Aaron in his life.

Forward (Jimmy Campbell/Johnny Simpson): Jimmy can't move on. But he can more forward.

Palliative (Character Study- No Ship): Palliative Coping: Making the situation more tolerable or keeping it under control without directly taking care of the problem.

Something in Return (Jimmy Campbell/Angelo Maggio): The band is exhausted after a nationwide tour. Jimmy most of all. A night at the Blue Wisp sounds like a good idea to relax. Turns out Jo has hired someone new.

Another Language (Jimmy Campbell/Angelo Maggio): Impromptu duets lead to interesting thoughts as Jimmy learns more about the new employee of The Blue Wisp. Continuation of "Something in Return".

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

Here It's Safe and Sound (Ted Spankoffski/Henry Hidgens): Henry doesn't mind the silence anymore, but he really needs a break from it.

Still The Dance Goes On (Ted Spankoffski/Henry Hidgens): Showtunes help Henry with whatever emotion he feels.

Everything's Perfect/Nothing's Real (Ted Spankoffski/Henry Hidgens): Henry theorized this exact scenario thirty years ago. But what if it wasn't simply a theory?

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Which Direction is the Right Direction? (Peter Parker & Tony Stark): It's been one month and Peter gets a call in the middle of class. "He'd tried putting it into his computer, that hadn't worked at all. He'd tried looking through old archives that Pepper had allowed him to scan, nothing. He even tried asking Karen, hoping perhaps the man had sent something about it to him without him knowing. Nope. So, it looked like he was stuck with a million questions and no right answers."

The Postcards Protocol (Peter Parker & Tony Stark): Peter finds out about the Postcards Protocol, and wonders why it's called that.

Prisoner of My Past (Peter Parker & Tony Stark): Peter's finally figured it out, with help from Tony. Sequel to "The Postcards Protocol"

IT (Movies)

some time can bring perspective that we need (Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier): "The moment he made it to the surface, he was booking it out of the house and made no effort to stop. When panic set in with Eddie Kaspbrak, it failed to stop until he was absolutely sure he was out of danger. He was blocks away from Neibolt before he was able to stop for breath, and he was almost regretting tossing his inhaler into the fire while his lungs burned from the exercise. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his mind was swirling with questions he didn’t know the answers to." In which Eddie Kaspbrak gets the ending he deserves.

To Start Over...Somehow (Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris): Most of the things he’ll think about are simple. What his plans are for the days ahead, new ideas for material that he’s now, finally, writing on his own…and how the world is one cruel, fucked up place. / or / Richie is learning to cope alone.

letting go of what might have been (Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris): Richie's got it all under control...but sometimes he doesn't / or / Richie's still coping.

words we leave unspoken (Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier): Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier has 1500 words left to live. He has more than 1500 words left to say.

From Here to Eternity (Musical)

Something in Return (Jimmy Campbell/Angelo Maggio): The band is exhausted after a nationwide tour. Jimmy most of all. A night at the Blue Wisp sounds like a good idea to relax. Turns out Jo has hired someone new.

Another Language (Jimmy Campbell/Angelo Maggio): Impromptu duets lead to interesting thoughts as Jimmy learns more about the new employee of The Blue Wisp. Continuation of "Something in Return".

Sanders Sides

If I Didn't Believe in You (Roman/Logan): Roman doesn't want to go to another party. Logan knows what's really happening.

There Was Janus (Roman/Logan): Roman and Logan get to know each other after working in the same touring production for the last month, when Logan asks how Roman got into acting.

Must Be a Dream (Character Study- No Ship): Logan's alone, but not completely. An imagining of post-WTIT after Logan sinks out of the living room.

Roundabout (Virgil/Roman, Logan/Patton): Virgil's got a new job as a school secretary, a vast change from his old life. He quickly befriends a few fellow faculty members, including one happy-go-lucky drama teacher. As the year goes on, and Virgil begins to form stronger bonds, his reluctance to revisit parts of his past may begin to put a strain on the relationships he holds dear.

When You Smile (Remy/Emile): Remy just wanted to grab a quick coffee. He didn't anticipate the cute stranger dancing in line. Part of the "Roundabout" canon.

Borderline (Established Roman/Virgil & Logan/Patton, Janus/Remus): Following the unexpected death of their mother, Roman and Remus are tasked with cleaning out their parents' attic. Old photos bring up old memories, old trinkets bring up old feelings, but a stack of letters may begin to distort the thoughts of their childhood, or bring their thoughts of it to new light. A world continuation of Roundabout.

The Old Guard

When The Sun Lights The Room (Joe/Nicky): “We should do something today. We could pick up some flowers at a shop this evening,” Joe offers to his love, squeezing his hand in an absent check-in to make sure the man is in fact mentally there as he’d claimed to be. A matching squeeze confirms so and he takes a deep breath. “He should be here.” Thirty years ago, Joe and Nicky lost their son. The "finality" of death still gives them whiplash at the tricks it plays.

Always Starting Over (Joe/Nicky): Nicolo di Genova has lived many different lives. He's fought many wars, saved many lives, and donned many names. But everything's over, and he's too cold. In which Joe loses his immortality and Nicky struggles to cope.

Stand By Me

Think of Me Fondly (Chris Chambers & Gordie LaChance): Gordie LaChance was twelve going on thirteen the first time he saw a dead human being. Gordon LaChance was thirty-eight going on thirty-nine when the newspaper headline knocked the wind out of him.

M*A*S*H

this is life, with the heartache it brings (B.J. Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce): It starts with an average day. It ends with nothing being the same. Or, if the American Songbook's "Tribute to the Troops" broadcast took place in 1952 and landed on the ears of the 4077th

Good Omens

I hope you blink before I do (Crowley/Aziraphale): Crowley, after a Hell of a time, sleeps.

Spies Are Forever

All's Fair in Love and Death (Agent Curt Mega/Owen Carvour): Following the final death of Owen Carvour, Agent Curt Mega is thrust into a mission that seems simple at first glance. Retrieve a fellow agent from a completed undercover mission. However, there are a few caveats. For one, the "fellow agent" is a Slozhno. For two, Curt is meant to retrieve the agent in 2016. With the mix of following his mission, learning all about Tatiana's son, and grappling an entirely new world, Curt must leave every stipulation of his real present life behind to protect a potential future at stake.

Detroit: Become Human

So Goes the Roll of the Dice (RK900/Gavin Reed): Gavin Reed and RK900- known as Nines- are ready to move in together, for "convenience" or whatever they claim. What looks to be the ending of a long investigation results in Gavin re-examining the ghosts of his pasts, and the android of his potential future.

[bjsmall]

10.04.23

We watched DreamWork's Puss in Boots (2011). IMDb link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0448694/ Puss in Boots is a 2011 computer animated adventure comedy film produced by DreamWork's Animation and distributed by Paramount Pictures. It is a spin off of the Shrek film series rather than a version of the fairytale Puss in Boots. Puss in Boots is directed by Chris Miller with the screenplay by Tom Wheeler. The film follows the origin story of Puss in Boots on his adventures years before the adventures of Shrek 2 (2004). Puss in Boots voiced by Antio Banderas, is accompanied by his friends Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis) and Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) to battle against Jack and Jill for the ownership of the magical beans and the fortune of the golden eggs. Puss in Boots is named after his signature pair of black boots. He is a fugitive on the run from the law seeking to clear his name. Humpty is Puss in Boots long lost childhood friend who tricked him into committing a bank robbery in his hometown of San Ricardo. Puss in Boots is reluctant to join him again but Kitty Softpaws persuades him. After many adventures, the double crossing Humpty meets his fate and Puss in Boots is hailed as a hero for saving San Ricardo, although the military still regard him as a fugitive. Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws share a dance and kiss at the end. For the full plot, see wiki link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puss_in_Boots_(2011_film) The idea for Puss in Boots was first mentioned in 2004, initially as a direct to video film. But by October 2006, the film had been changed to full release when DreamWorks realised its full potential. During the films production, the team struggled for a long time to include the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. The results didn't work well and in the end the giant never makes an appearance. Puss in Boots is the first DreamWorks Animation film to be partly made in India. This not only reduce labour costs but also helped as at the time DreamWorks were making three films a year in the US. The film is incredibly action packed as demonstrated in the planting of the beanstalk beans. This includes swirling clouds, erupting ground and huge gusts of wind. Puss in Boots, Humpty and Kitty Softpaws are shown swirling up on the beanstalk as it raises into the sky. Here is an in-depth article about this complex sequence: https://www.fxguide.com/fxfeatured/puss-in-boots-head-in-the-clouds/ Another standout feature of the film is the excellent dynamic shadow animation work during the lengthy night scenes.

Also the cat dance fight scene where Puss in Boots challenges the Masked Kitty (Softpaws) to a dance fight. This scene is fast paced and is very funny!

Puss In Boots is shown in the 2.39:1 (Cinemascope) aspect ratio. The music for Puss in Boots is composed by Henry Jackman. He used folk instruments traditionally found in Latin music. Lady Gaga's song 'Americano' also features in the film. The score was released in October 2011. The premiere for Puss in Boots was held on October 16th 2011 aboard the cruise ship Allure of the Seas in Florida. Puss in Boots was a big box office success and the third highest grossing animated film of the year behind Kung Fu Panda 2 and Cars 2. Puss in Boots was critically well received with an approval rating of 86% and an average rating of 6.9/10. It grossed $70.4 million and was a great success. It included a short animated film called 'The Three Diablos'. Puss in Boots was released on Blu-Ray, DVD and Blu-Ray 3D on the 24th February 2012. Interestingly, Puss in Boots was never released on 4K Blu-Ray in the UK, however the US version is region free. The sequel to Puss in Boots was released in December 2022 and called 'The Last Wish'. I will definitely watch and review this film in future, watch this space! I first saw Puss in Boots when I bought it as a Triple Play Blu-Ray, DVD & Digital Copy in 2012. Puss in Boots is available to stream in the UK on Amazon Prime Video, YouTube and Netflix. I bought it on YouTube in High Definition. Although it is not a film I regularly watch, when I do I really enjoy the visual effects, voice acting and the storyline. Puss in Boots has a quirkiness about it that reminds me of Rango which was released in the same year.

[wicknherb]

"Hello,” she said.

-I’m here.

“Alice thought immediately of a slaughtering lamb as she couldn’t be certain which of them was meant for sacrifice. He was outside. He was inside.”

-It excites you, doesn’t it? The surreptitiousness of it all.

“Mr. Murphy smiled wide. The lines around his mouth deepening into parentheses that framed his perfect lips into a punchline. Smoke drifted from her mouth with practiced, cinematic effort.”

Alice: Is it more romantic for you that way?

Mr. Murphy: This is no romance. I’m sorry to disappoint you.

“Alice opened her mouth to say something, but the words fell away. Mr. Murphy loomed over her, his Cadillac eyes hungry and bored.”

-I want you to read to me.

“Alice watched in slow motion as Mr. Murphy’s tongue undulated when he spoke.”

-Read it to me the way you read it to yourself.

“Pink tide against the bone shore of his teeth.”

-Yeah.

"Alice took the tattered Henry Miller paperback off the bedside table, and spread it open on the comforter of her bed. “Page 13,” he said, behind her, one hand slid up the front of her cotton dress. The other pointed to a sentence on the page.”

Mr. Miller: Begin… (EXHALES) here.

“He was against her then, and Alice felt a push of muscular wetness between her legs.”

“Mr. Murphy placed his slender hand over hers and guided her to the mound at her center pressin’ her fingers into the dark fold there.”

“Just behind the damp fabric of her panties…”

"Feelin’ her feel herself.”

“… he found his way around the elastic at her leg, and slid two deft fingers into the warm darkness of her virgin cunt.”

“She felt him shift.”

“He peeled the wet cotton down her legs and pressed into her from behind.”

“The width of his face…”

“The thousand years of violence and conquering boiled within him as he held the mouth of her pubis like a hooked fish.”

“Searching for the answer to a question he’d doubted.”

“But there it was.”

“The answer and the question.”

“The cicatrix that will never heal.”

“The serpent’s apple.”

“Her cul was slick against his fingers.”

“Just as he imagined it was when she was alone.”

“Maybe in her bedroom…”

“Her own fingers knuckle deep.”

“Trying to rub out that itch.”

“The ache inside.

“He saw himself burying his cock in her brutally fucking away the exigency that swirled her clit and choked her better judgments.”

“He would fill her up with cum. “

-Miller's Girl

[pinkie-miller100]

Maybe uh... Henry from the swirl au that you have? I like the little guy. - Lost anon

He likes swimming

[suger-cream]

[writerr]

Warning, there is violence and blood

If death, eating a person, and blood isn't your thing then this isn't for you

The read more may not work so sorry about that

Read more

    When everything was complete he was ready to make his own again and recreate something wonderful, something he missed doing, it'll be his time to shine again. Soft footsteps could be heard coming up behind him then stopped, soon a voice spoke belonging to his boss, “So Henry you said you wanted to open a circus outside my restaurant correct?” Putting down a photo he was holding he turned around looking into the heart shaped pupils his boss has then spoke with his british accent running smooth as a table. “Yes you are correct darling, for it was something I dreamed of doing since I was younger and I never had the chance to do it. I really wanna recreate join to children and families to have more attraction to the restaurant.” Henry was a really clever person when it comes to lying to people about his past or stuff he's done before. Cotton nodded slowly then took a few steps forward to him smiling softly then put his hands behind his back. “Ah, yes that would great dear to have more people notice my restaurant.” After the circus had open things have gone really well for the restaurant and everything went really smoothly, until three months past. People have started to go missing, disappearing without a trace by the hands of a murder. It was just like it was back when Fredbear's family dinner was open and Dave knew that someone was behind it and he was determined to find out who it was. It took a few months to figure out who it was, but he finally did it and he was finally gonna get rid of that MONSTER  for what hes done to him and everyone fucking else. He took steady foot  steps walking to the stage going onto it looking for him, soon he felt cold hands on him and there hot breath going down his neck making him shiver.

“What do you think you're doing darling~?”

    He wasn't able to move or escape the grip of his hands on him. He growled at the figure behind him and tried to kick them but wasn't successful. “Ah ah ah darling, for you shouldn't do that~” He cooed in Dave's ear, which made him shiver with the cold feeling in his spin. He slid Dave's shirt off from the shoulders getting his knife from his pocket putting it against Dave's back, then he pushed it deep into him as much as it was able to go before it hit bone. He started to cut downward holding the purple man against his chest to keep him from struggling. When he finished he put his hands into the cut on both sides pulling it more open. Using the knife to cut and remove some of the muscles in his back, he put them to the side. Grinding his teeth, Dave whimpered crying for the pain in the higher part of his back. He wanted to fight back against him, but was struggling to hold out in this state. “I already suffered enough from you, y-you asshole.” Dave barked. Ignoring Dave's anger, henry put his hand into the cut stroking the inside of it roughly then used his other hand to hold Dave still. “Ahh~ Willy just listen to the sounds that you are making from this~. I'm having to much fun to just stop and I'm sure you enjoy this as much as I do.” He stopped stroking the cut and he chuckled a bit leaning in to his ear. “I haven't try the taste of flesh or blood of someone yet so you be the first one I'll be tasting~  Which would be a great experiences for you to feel from me.” He pulled him to the closes wall there was to them going to it and sitting against it with Dave on his lap bend forward. He rubs the cut softly a bit with the tips of his fingers. He leaned into Dave's back licking the inside of the cut then start to take small bits of his flesh. The taste of his flesh was the best taste he ever had and the feeling of his blood against his skin was a even greater feeling, like god he really loved the taste. He took a bit of Dave's flesh eating it and enjoying every bit of it.

Getting carried away he took more from him not noticing that the currents were about to open, a tall orange male who wore a tank top called from the stage announcing  that the circus was open. When he quit what he was doing he picked up Dave bringing him backstage away from the part in front of the crowd, He made sure Dave wasn't in view of the crowd so he'd began without any issues. Henry straighten his hat and put on white gloves then he went forward calling to Cotton telling him to open the currents. As the currents opened he prepared himself to start a speech and as he spoke his smooth British accent had the crowd hooked into what he was saying.  “Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to my circus were the magic and fun come to  life. I will be giving you a show that you will never forget and my ‘FRENDS’ will be doing there best to ensure that the show will be great. I know things have been bad because of people going missing mysteriously for a few months, but I'm sure it has nothing to do with us. Now boys let the show begin~.” As he finished Jack came out wearing fluffy wolf ears, a wolf tail, and fluffy pants, then when the music started he started slowly shaking at first then he was dancing smoothly. Soon Dave came out dressed as a pig dancing with Jack then one his own moving to the beat then he finished by spinning. After a few minutes Mr Miller went onto the stage going to Jack grabbing his hands and started to dance with him then bend him backwards kissing him for ten seconds. When he pulled away after the music had stopped he took a bow with jack and went back stage. When the show was over and everyone left Mr Miller went and complement his coworkers on there work then went to Jack. “Love you did wonderful today so how about I give you something.” Jack took a step back shaking his head, he always hates the gifs Henry gives them. They are harmful half of the time, a reason he hates them in the first place. Noticing the starring, Jack tripped backwards in a panic which made the pink one giggle. It was a soft but terrifying one you'd hear in horror movies and games. As soon as Henry snapped them back into attention, he told them that they could rest for the day. Henry needed him to be rested for the newest experiment he had planned and after all, you need the body to be rested for it to work well.

“I'll see you here in the next few days my love, for a new test in the circus will arise ~"

    After a few days have passed, Miller closed the circus for a period of time to begin working on his plans for Jack, Dave, and a few other subjects he has found. Jack was shaking when he was found behind a table, he was covered in cuts that were deep in his skin close to the bones in his arms and back, he was missing the left side of his faces, so you can only see blood and his skull. His chest was cut open bleeding heavily, and one of his lungs has stitches on it showing that something must of happened to him. When walking to him, you can see he was still alive, but he looked like a decaying corpse. Reaching to him you went to poke him to see if he was airtight, on your touch he used the sharp blade that was attached to his other arm to cut you across the face, it was pointless. As you fell backwards from the attack you looked him in his dead empty eyes, hoping there was any emotion. There was none. He was already far broken to be fixed. Jack began to get up then looked down to you, he smiled laughing with his voice sounding horse and it didn't have much emotions as it once did. Broken. 

“W-what happened to you? ” you said, your voice cracking. He stopped, to look at you confusion was in his face before he scratched your already bleeding face. “What HAPPENED!? What is WRONG with me! You meant that right!” Jack screeched, “And there is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!! Hahaha, if anything there is something wrong with YOU!” He said as he knocked them to the ground, he giggled slightly then put his foot on there head. “There is nothing wrong here!” Jack crooked out, pushing  his foot into there head harder. “This is a circus and the only thing around is fun! Now, bye bye~” Those were the last words they heard before there skull was crushed into the ground.

[dsaf-au]

experiment-hell < dayshift-at-freddy-aus

The username could be better then this but whatever.

I posted a lot of art and reblogged a lot of stuff regarding the dsaf game on my main blog and spoke a lot of the experiment au when I lost interest in the swirl au when it used to be the main one.

The Swirl AU is about two ocs who are now the new owners of a Freddy Fazbender's restaurant and there is a planned army of zompies by one of the owners who goes by the name Ben Will. The corpses are of people he has killed, the most of them being ones who have hurt his bf Cotton. Cotton Swirl is a kind man who is not aware of his own power he has. He is treated not great by others a lot because of his own size and how nice he acts. He helped set Legacy and henry up then helped Jack get together with Dave, he likes to help a lot of people.

Now for the Experiments Au. Its changes a few things about characters regarding some stuff that happened in the past, though it takes place after the dsaf 3 game it takes a twist on a what if type thing for if Henry didn't actually die when he was defected by Jack and the others. When Henry comes back to reality, he has small abilities that don't work in the beginning and he had to get used to gravity before devoting a plan. Miller wrote in a diary about different plans and thoughts he had through the process. When the experimenting part does begin, he has tested it on animals like cats,dogs, and a few wolfs before he began the tests on humans. The first few humans have died to a lot of the experiments, the blue chemicals and purple ones have killed the most creatures and humans. The newest subjects to these begin with Sam first, a young red head who had a lot of hope in life and though it would get better after seeing the pink man then she lost all sanity because of the experiments. She was though to have died, so she was then thrown into the dumpsters. George and Zane were next after Sam, one of them was hanged and gotten his eye cut. Zane was almost killed by three dogs, then was though to have died by them and was thrown into the dumpster with George as well. There were a few others but that didn't have great luck. Dave at one point found his way back to mr miller hoping he was alright, he was fine living with his partner Jack but wanted to see Miller again which was a mistake when he was knocked out cold.

[cookiecreamsweets-blog]

I present two new dsaf ocs I made. I know I'm not creative with names ah.

This is Ben (Similar color to Henry Miller)

And Cotton Swirl (Similar color to Jack Kennedy/Old Sport) Ben is rude to anyone but Cotton Swirl. Cotton Swirl is like a cinnamon sweet and nice. He's the opposite of ben he's kinder. And no there not children of Henry and Jack if they were that would be weird.

[dweemeister]

Deliverance (1972)

Different genres of film appeal or repulse people to differing degrees. I can stomach an average musical, but I find that I have little patience with an average modern-day action film. The reasons for that are numerous, to be described in another review. John Boorman’s Deliverance is an action-survival film that might seem out of place today – there are long stretches without dialogue or violence and it dares to examine its protagonists’ mindsets as they become victims of violence. Based on the best-selling novel of the same name by James Dickey, Deliverance is a solid entry into the action-adventure tradition. A harrowing film even after the violence has passed, it is nevertheless hampered by its controversial rape scene and reductive depiction of those in the Appalachian American South.

Ed Gentry (Jon Voight), Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds), Bobby Trippe (Ned Beatty in his film debut), and Drew Ballinger (Ronny Cox in his film debut) are four Atlanta businessman looking forward to a weekend canoeing down the Cahulawassee River (this river is fictional) before the river valley is flooded by a dam. In the opening minutes, Drew – a guitar player – spots an implicitly inbred boy (Billy Redden) at a gas station. The two share a duet of “Dueling Banjos”, in the film’s most famous scene.The men soon travel downriver, hoping to take in nature’s beauty and to escape from life’s responsibilities. Their desires, however, are shattered when Bobby and Ed are confronted by two men of the mountain (Bill McKinney and Herbert “Cowboy” Coward). For no understandable reason, Bobby – at gunpoint – is forced to strip his clothes. Ed is sexually assaulted as Bobby looks on. One of the rapists is killed by Lewis, unnoticed by the assailants, and the survivor runs deeper into the forest. The men resolve to head to their downriver destination, Aintry, as soon as possible.

The film’s infamous rape scene does not explicitly show the worst moments, but what is heard is horrifying enough. The cameras show Ned Beatty’s face, distraught and dirt-filled, for far too long. Burt Reynolds himself noticed the camera operators squirming away while director John Boorman continued. Disgusted, Reynolds stood in front of the cameras, asked Boorman why he let the scene run that long, and Boorman responded: “I wanted to take it as far as I could with the audience, and I figured you’d run in when it got too far.” The final cut of Deliverance lingers over the rape; for the audience’s sake, an implied or suggested assault would have been preferable and still respected Dickey’s adapted screenplay of his own novel. Boorman’s lack of restraint – even though some modern directors have even less restraint when presented with such a scenario – damages the film.

Since its release, Deliverance has helped solidify stereotypes about those who live in the American South and how Southern masculinity – bathed in humanity’s and nature’s violence – manifests itself. There is banter aplenty among the protagonists about their physical prowess; the weapons used in this film are phallic suggestions. Much of the pre-release promotion of Deliverance focused on Reynolds’ physicality and how Boorman’s direction pushed his four lead actors through physical pain and natural peril. The four leads, whose characters are from Atlanta, are distinguished from the mountainous locals they encounter at the gas station, during their trip, and in Aintry. Ed, Lewis, Bobby, and Drew represent a suburbanizing, “new” South – a departure from the increasingly urbanized and less white urban South.

In Deliverance, the suburban “new” South meets the Appalachian “old” South. The latter, accustomed to the wilderness surrounding it and wary of the former’s intrusions, is shown as humble and skeptical in Deliverance’s opening minutes to assertive and suspicious by the end of the film’s first act. Boorman depicts the Appalachian Southerners as backwards, their technology and understanding of the outside world decades removed from the present. Their paranoia, Boorman (a Brit who, in post-release interviews, showed little understanding of the poor white Southerners he encountered while making the film) will show, and aggressive territorial behavior can also be argued as self-defense. As Lewis explains to his friends about why they are going on this canoeing trip:

There ain’t gonna be no more river… You just push a little more power into Atlanta, a little more air conditioners [sic] for your smug little suburb, and you know what’s gonna happen? We’re gonna rape this whole goddamned landscape.

The rural Southerners in Deliverance can be interpreted as reacting against industrialized modernity and a white middle class, in defense of an individualistic naturalism that those in cities and suburbs cannot fathom. Their way of life, threatened by the damming project, is endangered – and most likely without their permission. Violence, when law enforcement is sparse, is an acceptable recourse to these people as is sexual assault, Boorman notes. And given how Boorman portrays the poor white men – snaggle-toothed, bone-thin, and underdressed – he is uninterested in providing any depth to these characters. Deliverance sides with the four middle-class whites, never affording the lower-class white characters anything more than their violent “nature.” These stereotypes that Boorman perpetuates are fixtures in how America media views lower-class white Southerners or, in common parlance, “poor white trash.” Look at the lengthy connections page on the films’ IMDb entry; notice how many films and television shows have featured footage or references to Deliverance without context. Numerous mentions and variations of the notorious “squeal like a pig” line appear when one character is threatening another with violence; a child with a banjo or a reference to “Dueling Banjos” brings up character’s fears or perhaps discussion of inbreeding and territorial violence.

Unfortunately, Boorman and Dickey’s approach to how the antagonists are portrayed works just as they want it to. The images that Boorman, cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond (1971’s McCabe & Mrs. Miller, 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind), and editor Tom Preistley (1965’s Repulsion, 1984’s 1984) summon play into a fear of the “other” – placing the antagonist above the protagonist during a frame, keeping the antagonists faceless by positioning them into the background, and wary glances from the four businessman towards the riverbanks as if looking for hidden threats. Not knowing what to expect from this film, I – in my first viewing – found myself unconsciously retreating to damning assumptions even in the opening moments as the Atlantan friends drive up to the gas station (nothing sinister happens at the gas station). My preconceptions have been shaped by various media, assisted (and not started) by Deliverance. In its bourgeoisie discomfort towards underclass whites, Deliverance has helped continue its dreadful ideas about “white trash” – treating them as an existential threat to urban-suburban prosperity and order. This anxiety, an offshoot of the Southern Gothic literary tradition, persists. This reality is, as the locals of Rabun County, Georgia (where this film was shot and where many of the film’s extras resided) will tell you, unfair.

Where Deliverance succeeds is in its psychological treatment of violence. The final twenty minutes of the film – where the men must contend with the police investigation and the personal, extralegal consequences of their actions – would be ignored by many other filmmakers. Beyond the physical acting required for the canoeing scenes and combat against their assailants, this is where the actors shine. Jon Voight is the standout in the closing act, even if Burt Reynolds somehow retains his charm in an otherwise grave moment. The actors convey their characters’ swirls of emotions oftentimes without saying a word in an excellent ensemble performance.

The canoeing scenes in Deliverance were shot on the Chattooga River, which divides northeastern Georgia from northwestern South Carolina. The series of rapids that the production shot on contain some of the most dangerous waters for canoers, kayakers, and rafters in the United States. Such is the Chattooga’s reputation that the likes of Marlon Brando and Henry Fonda backed out of roles when they learned about its rapids. A famous stunt of Burt Reynolds volunteering to send himself over a ninety-foot waterfall in a canoe was inspired by the fact that Reynolds believed that using a dummy was unconvincing. Reynolds break his coccyx on the way down. After returning from the hospital, Reynolds asked Boorman about how the new footage appeared. Boorman’s response: “Like a dummy going a waterfall.”

Whether or not one has seen Deliverance, this is undoubtedly an influential American film – especially how it portrays its Southern characters, the violence they sustain against each other, and the environment surrounding them. A technically effective movie, the stereotypes within have proven resilient before and long after its initial release. It is the film’s undoing and, because of how dominant these views are, its ballast.

My rating: 7.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

[mitchmarnier]

no, you can’t fence time and you can’t stop love.

Derry, Maine, had never been the most accepting of places to live. In its defence, nobody had ever claimed that it was. It was a hard, rough place to live if you were different in even the smallest way. The Losers Club had known this better than anybody else, all of them completely different from the norms and long given up on trying to hide it. They’d always promised each other “graduation and out.” They’d go off to their colleges of choice and never look back at the terrible place.

Some people though, had a slightly different plan. One not openly shared, one known only by two and sure to leave the ground shaking. The beat up white pick up truck Richie Tozier had spent the better part of two years saving up for that only ran out of Richie’s pure determination not to let it die pulled up outside the Kaspbraks’ house at exactly 5:17 on a Tuesday afternoon when Sonia Kaspbrak was known to be down at the pharmacy for her usual appointment.

Eddie stuck a note onto the screen door before running down the front steps and launching himself into the passenger seat.

I’m sorry but I’ve got to go. <3 Eddie

Sonia Kaspbrak had been staring at the note for so long that her vision had blurred, and her hands had shaken from holding them up. Where was her son going? Why hadn’t he told her he had plans? What could he possibly be doing?

She’d marched up to his bedroom in hopes of finding some sort of answer only to find herself rooted to the spot the second she threw the door open. Eddie’s bed had been stripped bare, everything from his shelves and walls pulled down. The only thing remaining of her son in the bedroom was the orange bottles of pills and the aspirator sitting on his desk.

That’s when Sonia Kaspbrak placed a call to Derry Sherriff Department.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Kaspbrak,” the deputy told her. “But Eddie is eighteen and all signs point to him having left willingly. We can’t do anything about this. Your son is an adult.”

“My son is fragile!” Sonia screamed, tears burning their way down her face. “He needs his medicine and he needs his mother! I want to talk to the Sheriff! Why would they send me a deputy! This is an emergency! My son has been kidnapped!”

Deputy Miller looked up at the Kaspbrak’s too clean ceiling as though it might give him strength. Meanwhile, Wentworth Tozier could hear his wife sobbing upstairs as he stared out the kitchen window. As though staring, unblinking, at the overgrown lawn would make his son’s truck pull into in the drive way or his belongings return to his bedroom. How was it that eighteen years could just up and drive away in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday?

He’d given that damn boy everything he’d had. Wentworth knew things hadn’t always been easy in their home, they hadn’t always had enough money and his wife’s drinking had brought a damper down everything. Richie had certainly isolated himself over the past few years, but Wentworth had simply assumed it was the usual teen angst that all boys his age got. God knew he had gone through it- though it certainly hadn’t escalated to running away the day after his eighteenth birthday with all his things in hub of his truck.

“Damn that boy,” Wentworth hissed bitterly. “Damn him straight to hell.”

///

Bill Denbrough could feel all the eyes on him when he walked into church that next Sunday. It did nothing to help the heaviness he’d felt in his heart since Tuesday night when he’d gotten the call from Sonia Kaspbrak. How could Eddie have just run away? Bill had still been trying to wrap his head around it the next morning when he noticed that Richie hadn’t shown up to school either. The Losers had tried to reason that Richie was just taking Eddie leaving harder than anybody else, but the tense feeling in Bill’s stomach seemed to tell him that he knew better than that.

A drive down to Richie’s house after school had been all it required to confirm what he feared. Once Richie didn’t appear at school for the second day in row, the rumours all began to fly and by Thursday evening it was the only thing anybody could talk about anymore. There were so many theories that it made Bill’s head hurt, but there was one that seemed to be on everybody’s lips.

Could it be true? Bill supposed it could be. He wasn’t even sure how much it would surprise him if it were. Eddie and Richie had always been so close, closer than the others, and nobody could deny how Richie flirted with him. But running away to get married? Bill wasn’t sure he could believe that Richie and Eddie would be that good at keeping something like that a secret from him. Though he couldn’t deny that they’d kept the fact that they were running away the moment Richie turned eighteen, so Bill depends that anything was possible.

Bill ignored the way the eyes followed him as he moved. He’d already gotten the third degree from Mrs Kaspbrak- all the Losers had, and all of them had given the same answers of having known nothing about it at all. They all knew what the whole town thought, what they were all saying. They could hear the whispers, it was impossible not to.

“As I’m sure you’re all aware,” the priest began from the front of the pews once the church go’ers had been seated. “We’re missing a long-time member of our community here today.” The whole church heard Sonia Kaspbrak’s loud choking sob as it echoed throughout the pews. Bill squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his stomach, so he didn’t end up throwing up in the middle of Sunday service.

“Edward Kaspbrak was a good Christian boy,” the minister continued as Mrs Kaspbrak’s sobs threatened to overpower his voice. “Never missed a service, never missed a Bible study. Edward Kaspbrak was corrupted by an evil sin that is slowly making its way through this world. We lose so many of our good citizens to this sickness, they’re taken off and they lose the good people they once were.”

Bill’s hands were shaking as the minister continued to drone on. He clenched his fists shut and tried his hardest to drown out the preaching. Instead he found his thoughts wandering to Eddie and Richie. Of Richie snapping Eddie’s arm back into place after Henry Bowers had broken it in seventh grade and of the time Eddie threw himself into a group of Henry’s old gang when Richie’s mouth ran too wild and the boy nearly got himself killed… but also of smaller things, of Richie’s arm draping around Eddie while they walked or how Eddie would be sitting up against Richie’s or even in Richie’s lap during movie night, or how nobody ever questioned whether Eddie would get shot gun in Richie’s truck while everybody laughed as the two fought over the music. Bill’s heart clenched his chest and tears burned his eyes. Those fucking assholes… his best friends.

“Billy?” Georgie was suddenly pulling on the sleeve of Bill’s blazer. “Bill? Did Richie do something bad to Eddie? Did he make him sick?”

Bill nearly gave himself whip lash turning to look at Georgie so quickly. His eleven-year-old brother looked heart broken, his brown eyes glossy with tears and bottom lip jutted out just slightly. The hurt in Bill’s chest quickly boiled into anger.

“N-n-no.” Bill said firmly but quietly. “Richie d-di-di-idn’t d-d-d-d-do anything to Eddie. They didn’t do any-anything wrong. They are-aren’t sick, okay?”

“Okay,” Georgie replied, eyes downcast and bottom lip trembling. Bill managed to hear the minister saying “that Tozier boy” before he launched himself out of his seat. Hands and jaws clenched tightly, he stormed out from the pews. Bill Denbrough walked out that church without looking back, pretending he couldn’t hear the whispers that followed him.

///

Beverly Marsh sat behind the desk at the local downtown salon. Her aunt had gotten a job there once when she had moved to Derry after Bev’s father died. Her aunt was beyond talented and Bev knew she deserved to work at big time salons in huge cities and sometimes the feeling of guilt riddled Bev until she couldn’t sleep.

“I hear they ran off to Las Vegas to get married,” some woman who came in a got her hair permed every six months like clock work rattled on. “Poor Sonia, she tried so hard with that boy. I couldn’t imagine my son ending up like that.”

“I feel worse for Margaret and Wentworth,” the ‘just a little off the sides’ every two weeks woman said haughtily. “Why do you think Sonia tried so hard with Edward? She had to have known, how could she not have? Everybody must have known, he had the look of it. Richard, though? I never would’ve guessed Richard was one.”

Bev inhaled deeply and squeezed her eyes shut. Would this never stop? It had been almost two weeks since Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak had spilt town without warning or a single goodbye. Bev couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been pissed when she’d gotten the news, and continued to be pissed for maybe days afterwards. It wasn’t until she the gossip started swirling about Bill walking out of church that she realized that Eddie and Richie weren’t entirely the people she should be mad at. She didn’t know about the rest of the Losers, but Beverly had always sort of known that there was something between Eddie and Richie. She just hadn’t known that they had known it too. As angry as she’d been that her friends had organized this brilliantly sneaky plan and pulled it off flawlessly without telling her, she knew that this might be the only way for them. They couldn’t ever be who they really were in Derry.

“You’re so right, Wendy,” the man who comes in to get his barely-there-hair-cut once a month said sadly. “The Tozier boy never struck me as the type to be into that. Kaspbrak had no real father figure in his life, it can’t come as any surprise he’s a little bit of a fairy. It’s unfortunate he had such an influence of Tozier, he had such potential to be somebody great.”

That was almost too much for Bev. Since fucking when did the adults of Derry ever have anything good to say about Richie Tozier? Store owners followed him around as though he was stealing (he never was), fathers warned their daughters to stay away (clearly, they didn’t need to worry) and teachers would kick him out as class for being disruptive and when he’d pass every test with flying colours they’d accuse him of cheating (he never did). Richie Tozier was never a source of pride for the people of Derry but it seemed they’d gotten bored of villainizing him in the corruption of sweet, innocent Eddie Kaspbrak so they needed to change up their story to keep themselves entertained.

It boiled Beverly’s goddamn blood.

“You know,” Bev said loudly from behind the desk. “It’s fucking free to mind your own business and keep your nasty mouths shut. It’s not that hard.”

The shop fell silent with scandal as Bev smiled down at the desk. Maybe she’d be asked to leave, and maybe her aunt would be pissed at her for she couldn’t be bothered to care for a single second. Beverly Marsh had stood up for her gone friends the only way that she could.

///

Mike Hanlon had started working at the public library as a student page during his senior year and it was a nice escape from the world around them. Nobody bothered Mike in the library. He’d never had a problem before today.

There were a group of boys sitting in the back, looking over their book before exams. The public high school kids coming in for exam prep made Mike a little sad, because of he thought of the things Richie and Eddie had left behind when they’d run. They weren’t going to graduate with their friends, Mike didn’t know if they were ever finish high school at all.

Mike tuned into the conversation of the boys sitting at the table closest to his desk without giving it any thought. “… I saw good riddance,” one of them said spitefully. “Who needs that kind of shit around?”

Mike frowned. Spending years in the presence of The Losers Club had numbed him pretty much completely to the sound of cursing but he still wasn’t fond of it in the library. His slight irritation only grew as he heard more.

“Yeah. Who knows who else they could corrupt? I heard that stuttering kid is one too. He some freak out in Church when Father James was talking about Kaspbrak.”

Mike closed his book harshly on the desk and closed his eyes for a minute. He counted to twenty in his head, then counted to thirty. The boys were still talking.

“Yeah don’t need any fucking fagg-”

“Okay, you need to leave.” Mike pushed himself up from the desk. The three teenage boys whipped around and looked at him with wide eyes. “We don’t tolerate that sort of language in a public building. I need you to leave. Have those conversations somewhere else.”

The middle boy looked as though he was ready to fight him, but his friend grabbed him by the arm. “Don’t.” The kid said. “He’s one of those Losers. I heard they’re fucking fairies.”

Mike Hanlon watched them leave, chest heaving with some burning pressure he couldn’t release.

///

Stanley Uris held the envelope in his hands as he walked towards the other Losers outside of the high school’s auditorium. His suit was uncomfortable, nearly a year old and too small. He hadn’t bothered buying something new for graduation, another suit he wouldn’t need to wear again. His nerves were jumping a mile a minute and it had nothing to do with the ceremony he was going to attend within the hour.

Richie and Eddie had been gone almost two months, and the town still wasn’t over it. People still whispered, people still stared. After a few outbursts, people started avoiding saying anything in the presence of the Losers. It got easier to ignore.

Stan knew he was about to rip open wounds that were yet to fully heal. He wouldn’t be completely surprised if he walked away from today friendless.

“I have to show you guys something,” Stan said as soon as he reached them. “And you’re going to be mad, but I need you to promise hear me out before you say anything.”

The rest of them look at each other before looking at Stan. Stan bit down on his lip and then sighed.

“I knew that Richie and Eddie were going to run away,” Stan said in one quick breath. Silence rang out for a moment before-

“You motherfuck-“ Bev shirked before Ben hushed her quickly.

“We promised to hear him out,” Ben said. “Let him talk.”

“Richie told me about a week before they were going to leave,” Stan said. “They needed help sneaking Eddie’s stuff out of his room, they didn’t want his mom to see them taking it and Richie didn’t want his parents to sober up and see it. I let them keep stuff above my garage. They came and picked it up before they left. They made me a promise. They kept it.”

Stan held the envelope out. Bill- ever the leader- reached out and took it. He opened it to a show a picture of Richie and Eddie, wraps thrown around each other. They were wearing rich looking suits and Richie was kissing Eddie’s cheek. “They got married. In Vegas,” Stan said, inches of fond slipping into his nervous voice. “I mean, not really married since the aren’t actually allowed but there was a ceremony and- the letter says everything.”

Bill looked up from the note, too quickly to have read it, with tears in his eyes. “Wh-wh-wh-“

“Why did they tell you?” Bev said for him, her cheeks burning while she refused to meet Stan’s gaze. Stan bit his bottom lip and shrugged.

“Richie and I have been best friends since kindergarten. We were each other’s best friends,” Stan said meekly. “Before Eddie, before Bill, before any of you guys.  I knew that Richie and Eddie were together- they never told me!” He said quickly when Bev launched her mouth open again. “I pretty much told Richie he was in love with Eddie, I could just tell. There wasn’t any hiding it after that really. Maybe that’s why they chose me, because they wouldn’t have to explain as much. I don’t know. But they told me not to tell, not right away, said that I should give it time before I told you guys-“

“I knew Eddie and Richie were dating, too,” Ben blurt out suddenly. “Eddie… Eddie told me when he liked Richie. He wanted some relationship advice, I guess. He seemed to think I was some big romantic.”

“You are, though,” Bev said quietly. Ben flushed.

“Eddie was so excited when Richie finally kissed him, and they got together, he told me that next night. He was so happy,” Ben smiled softly to himself. “I’m not mad at you, Stan. We all kept secrets.”

“I di-di-didn’t even kn-know they were guh-gay,” Bill stuttered in frustration. The rest of the Losers all shot him withering looks.

“In the letter Richie said-“ Stan clearly his throat. “He said we should come see them. After graduation, go on a roadtrip. Visit them. They miss us as much as we miss them.”

“Those fucking assholes better apologize when we go,” Bev said bitterly but she was smiling. “I barely made it through senior year without my smoking buddy.”

“I can’t believe they got married and didn’t invite us!”

“Ed-Ed-Eddie better ruh-ruh-realized how sc-screwed I was with-without his sc-sc-science notes.”

The five Losers wrapped their arms around each other, walking into the auditorium while laughing and making their plans.

[the-metal-reaper]

An Eye for an Eye - Chapter 5

Well, here’s the final chapter of An Eye for an Eye! I loved experimenting with a different setup for this tale, placing it outside of one of the games. It’s been a lot of fun! 

did i cry while writing this? yes. a lot. i love my kiddos, sue me.

---

Those eyes. She had seen them far more times than any person should. She had seen them on Michael, while he stood paralyzed in front of those nightmare-fueled steel monstrosities. Charlie had seen them on herself in the reflection of the rain-soaked glass of the window looking into Fazbear’s Family Diner, with the silhouette of her killer behind her. She had even seen them on her own father, as he stared into the emotionless eyes of Charlie’s former suit. And yesterday, she saw them on William as he stared at her through the mask of the Spring Bonnie suit just before the springlocks thrust themselves into his skin, shoving jagged mechanical parts right into his ribcage. Even when she shuts her eyelids as tight as she can, and feels her tears dripping down her face, those eyes still haunt her. They’re burned into her retinas. 

Charlie hates this, hates that she’s crying, and hates herself most of all. Why was she so easily convinced to kill? Charlie was supposed to be the protector of lost souls, and yet she had created more. She was no better than William.

She looks up at Michael, who’s sitting next to her, facing the television. Neither of them had gotten much sleep. A rerun of an old soap opera, one that Michael had watched religiously in his youth, plays on the set, but neither of them are really watching it. 

Michael wraps an arm around Charlie’s shoulder and pulls her closer. He runs his gloved fingers through her short brown locks and smiles a little to himself. He had almost forgotten what satisfaction and contentment felt like, but now it flowed through him like blood. His mission was complete.

On his side, he feels something cool. He looks down at Charlie, eyebrows quirking up with worry, and sees her tears. All at once, his peace drains to gnawing anxiety.

“Hey,” Michael smiles down at Charlie, who wipes her tears with a damp sleeve before meeting his gaze. “What do you say we… go stop by Fazbears? Say hi to your dad?”

Blood rushes to Charlie’s ears. She can barely hear Michael over the sound of her racing heartbeat, and she struggles to keep her face calm. The simple thought of that place is barely tolerable without her consciousness getting hijacked by images of the horrific monstrosities Charlie had committed the night before. But she needed to stay positive. She had to. 

If she didn’t have her cheer, what did she have?

“Sure,” Charlie smiles for the first time that day. Michael smiles back, relieved.

They hop into the car, and Michael skids down the street, almost jumping the curb. Charlie hangs onto the seat behind her for dear life. 

She laughs, “Why the heck are you driving so fast?!”

“Because,” Michael blows past the ‘Speed Limit: 20 mph’ street sign at 60, “it’s fun.”

Leaving dark tracks behind it, the purple Oldsmobile screeches to a halt in front of Fazbear’s glistening glass doors. The sun has just barely passed the horizon, so Michael’s face is cast in shadow as he lightly taps on the front door to the Pizzaria. No response. The main room, which is visible through the slightly frosted glass, is silent and dark. It may have been early, but Henry should’ve been there. He managed the place.

Charlie sees Michael’s confusion and concern. “Hey, I can unlock the door if we need.”

“That sounds good.” 

With a nod, Charlie pushes herself through the glass and clicks the lock open. She goes deeper into the restaurant, reaching for the light switch to turn on the lights, when she sees them.

Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy. Staring down at her from the stage with lifeless eyes. Eyes that had been filled with life by the Marionette, and emptied of it by the same hand. 

Charlie hadn’t realized she was crying until she felt Michael’s hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s find your dad and get out of here,” he murmurs. The spirit wraps her arms around Michael in response. Together, they walk through the restaurant, while Charlie tilts her head away from the stage. 

Michael sees a dim light from a doorway down the hall. He leads Charlie there, only to see a man slumped over at the manager’s desk, beer bottle in hand and tiny television screen illuminating his face.

 Sighing, Michael reaches over the desk and shakes him awake. “Henry.”

Henry’s eyebrows quirk up in confusion, then he smiles with recognition. “Hey, guys.”

“Were you here all night?

“Uh, yeah,” He blinks, rubbing his eyes, “I was watching William.”

Gesturing towards the TV screen, Henry shows Michael and Charlie the camera footage of the door to the safe room, which has remained the same since they locked the door. 

“So, how are you?” Henry smiles.

“Well…” Staring at the floor, Michael says, “We’re thinking about moving. Leaving Hurricane.”

“What? Why?”

“Too many memories. Ones that I’d rather not remember. And besides--” Michael turns to Charlie, then falls silent. She’s so dim that she’s barely visible, her face buried in Michael’s coat. He puts an arm around her shoulders.

“But you just got here!” To Michael’s surprise, Henry sounds almost angry. He rises to his feet and walks around the desk to stare Michael down. “You can’t leave Hurricane.”

“Henry. The only reason we were here was to deal with William.”

“‘Deal with him?!’ Let’s not tiptoe around this, Michael. You convinced literal children to murder him for you because you just didn’t want to do it.”

Michael practically spits, “I did what I had to. I saved your life, for God’s sake. You’re just a coward.”

“A coward? No, I just have a moral compass. On the other hand, you are exactly as your father described. Soulless.”

A blur of movement brushes past Henry and smashes into the desk behind him. Oak splinters under Michael’s curled fist, and he glares red-hot lasers through Henry’s eyes. “I’m done taking your shit, Miller. We’re leaving. That’s final.” Michael stuffs his shaking hands into his pocket to avoid attacking Henry. 

“We? If you think you’re taking my daughter from me, you’re sadly mistaken.” Henry jabs his finger into Michael’s sunken chest, not even sparing a glance at Charlie, who has long since moved away from the argument in favor of hiding in the corner. 

“I—” Turning away to look for Charlie, Michael slows. His red-hot anger is cooled by the pitiful sight of his best friend curled up on the floor, her normally fluorescent features faded with fear. “Listen, I’m not trying to make Charlie’s choices for her. She can choose whether or not to move with me.”

“You’re not pulling that, Michael. Let her choose, so that way you can pull your little voodoo magic and put her back under your spell like always. Lottie’s going to stay with me, her father.”

“‘Voodoo magic?’ You mean being her friend? That’s the thing, Henry, you don’t really care about Charlie. Not like she is now. You just want your Little Lottie back.”

“Of course I do! Your father may have taken her away from me, but you’re the one who’s corrupted her, who’s turned her into something she’s not. You’re the one who made her kill someone!”

Henry gasps in a few breaths of air, his finger wavering in the air in front of Michael’s eyes. He closes his hand into a fist, and rises to put his face in the empty air where his fist was.

“So tell me, who really killed Lottie?” Henry spits, “William, or you?”

The linoleum tiles crack under Michael’s heel as he shoves Henry back into the desk, sending the older man flying over the desk and into the wheeled chair behind him. Michael wheels around, pausing when he sees Charlie’s apparent absence from the room. 

Facing the floor, he whispers, “I’m sorry I fucked everything up.”

Just as quickly as he ended the argument, Michael storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Asshole.” Henry growls at the closed door. Slowly, he pulls himself back to his feet, muttering yet more profanities as he does so.

He looks up at his daughter with an apologetic smile. Charlie stares back with a combination of anger and fear on her face as her cheeks sparkle with tears.

Pointing at the door, Charlie stammers out, “Listen, I-I’m gonna—”

“I meant what I said.” Henry busies himself by fiddling with his desk chair, trying to get the wheels to spin again. “I know he’s your friend, Lottie, but I just don’t think Michael is trustworthy.” 

Charlie’s hands curl into fists, but the only words she can muster are, “Michael’s always there when I need him. An-and I can’t say the same for you.”

She flies through the door, barely even noting the unpleasant wave of nausea that hits her as she does. Before she can even so much as take a breath, Charlie’s in the dining room, staring up at the stage. A muffled sob escapes her lips as she stares into Fritz—Foxy’s— lifeless eyes. Charlie turns away, wanting desperately to look at anything else. As she finally regains a slice of her sense, Charlie briskly walks through the booth seats and out the front doors.

The evening sun cast long shadows across the road, obscuring most of Michael’s face. He sits on the curb, looking at some distant point in the horizon while his cigarette smoke swirls around him in a cloud, concealing his face further. Through the smoke Michael sees a familiar figure join him on the curb. They sit in silence for a moment.

“You’re not coming with me, are you,” Michael says quietly. The smoke disperses, and Charlie can see the resigned frown on Michael’s face.

Charlie’s eyebrows quirk up in horror. She bites her lip, choosing her words carefully. “I’m not sure if I ever talked about it much, but… my years as the Marionette were hell.”

Michael looks up quickly, confusion dancing across his face.

“I was so alone, Mike. My d—Henry stopped coming to the restaurant, you never went back, even William left. I was so… cold.” Tears begin to well in Charlie’s eyes once again, but she grits her teeth and blinks rapidly. She shouldn’t cry again. She can’t. “Gabe, Jeremy, Suzy, even Fritz were always angry. Not just at William, at the world too. And I let myself get angry too.” Charlie pulls Michael’s arm into her lap and rests her head on his shoulder. “But then you came along.” A smile dawns on her face. “You helped me remember who I was, Mike. Who I am now. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that. So, thank you.” 

Michael pulls Charlie into a tight embrace, pushing her cheek up against his razor-like collarbone. His arms are shaking. 

“That’s a no to staying, by the way.” Charlie laughs. Michael smiles gratefully as a response. 

They sit in each other’s arms for a while, watching the golden sun light the horizon on fire as it sinks below. 

Michael glances down at his companion. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” she frowns. “I guess I just thought he’d be different.” 

“I’m sorry.”

Charlie looks up at him, catching his gaze. “Don’t be. I have you, Mike. You’re all I need.”

---

Thank you so much for reading!! I’ll be posting art again starting next week.

Previous | Where it all started

[dannymillerfansite]

Emmerdale : Spoilers & Cast List & time of episodes 24-28 December

Monday 24 December - Christmas Eve - 7.00 PM

Digital Spy

It's the eve of Marlon and Jessie's surprise wedding. After getting drunk in The Woolpack, Sam and Marlon spot the truck containing Charity’s booze delivery sitting open.

Later, the drayman drives off, unknowingly carrying away Marlon and Sam who are fast asleep in the back.

Meanwhile, Bob can't afford presents for the twins this Christmas. He considers stealing from the hospital charity gifts, but can he really sink so low?

Elsewhere, Rodney vows to break an impasse.

Radio Times

Rodney vows to break up the impasse between Nicola and Bernice, Jessie is devastated to see Monty tucking into the wedding cake, and Bob considers stealing from a hospital to make ends meet. 

ITV

Jessie's wedding plans continue to go awry as Belle reveals Zak and Lisa are staying in Scotland and Monty eats the wedding cake. 

Tuesday 25 December - Christmas Day - 7.15 PM

Hour-long episode

It's Christmas Day and Sam and Marlon wake up in the back of a delivery van in the middle of nowhere. Marlon tells Sam that they need to rush back to the village, as Lydia has arranged a surprise wedding for him.

Later, Marlon does make it back on time but faints when he realises that he's the one getting married. At the same time, Sam is crushed to learn that he’s got it all wrong.

Meanwhile, Bob has pawned his watch but is devastated to realise that he's bought the kids the wrong gifts. Can Bob get himself out of his mounting debts and grim situation?

Elsewhere, Jacob hands Maya a present and they kiss, but they get interrupted by David. The situation grows awkward as Jacob stays hidden as David and Maya kiss.

Also today, Nicola and Jimmy arrive for dinner with the family after being invited by Rodney. Upon arriving, they realise they are not welcome and Liam dishes up tiny portions for the unexpected guests.

Wednesday 26 December - Boxing Day - 7.00 PM

What’s On TV

There’s consoling going on over at Aaron Dingle and Robert Sugden’s place too…

Digital Spy

It's the aftermath of the wedding.

Robert consoles Aaron.

Jacob endures heartbreak.

ITV

Bob worries as Brenda asks him about exchanging the video games he bought the twins for Christmas. 

It’s the aftermath of the wedding...

Robert consoles Aaron!

Thursday 27 December - 7.00 PM (only one episode)

Digital Spy

The police descend on the village.

Bernice is in a state of denial.

The pressure mounts on Bob.

What’s On TV

There are questions which need answering as the police descend on the village but will the officers uncover the information they’re looking for in Emmerdale?

ITV

Bob's financial woes continue when Eric tells him has to settle up for his stay at B&B.

Friday 28 December - 7.00 PM

Digital Spy

Bernice is furious when she sees the salon decorated for her 50th birthday, not wanting Liam to know her age.Determined to hate every second, Bernice pops all the balloons.

Meanwhile, Harriet wants to track down Dawn. Will Ryan succeed in helping her find her?

Elsewhere, Victoria feels a stab of jealousy.

ITV

Matty falsely accuses Charity of scuppering his date with Heather and gets himself the sack in the process. 

CAST LIST COVERING THIS WEEK & NEXT.

Aaron Dingle Danny Miller

Amelia Spencer Daisy Campbell

Angelica King Rebecca Bakes

April Windsor Amelia Flanagan

Belle Dingle Eden Taylor-Draper

Bernice Blackstock Samantha Giles

Billy Fletcher Jay Kontzle

Bob Hope Tony Audenshaw

Bonnie Shola Adewusi

Brenda Walker Lesley Dunlop

Cain Dingle Jeff Hordley

Cathy Hope Gabrielle Dowling

Charity Dingle Emma Atkins

Chas Dingle Lucy Pargeter

Dan Spencer Liam Fox

David Metcalfe Matthew Wolfenden

Dawn Taylor Olivia Bromley

Daz Spencer Mark Jordon

Debbie Dingle Charley Webb

Diane Sugden Elizabeth Estensen

Dr Naya Hartley Maya Barcot

Doug Potts Duncan Preston

Drayman Howard Chadwick

Elliot Windsor Luca Hoyle

Ellis Chapman Asan N'Jie

Eric Pollard Christopher Chittell

Faith Dingle Sally Dexter

Frank Clayton Michael Praed

Gabby Thomas Rosie Bentham

Harriet Finch Katherine Dow Blyton

Heath Hope Sebastian Dowling

Irene Stocks Eithne Browne

Isaac Benedict Shaw

Jacob Gallagher Joe-Warren Plant

Jai Sharma Christopher Bisson

Jessie Grant Sandra Marvin

Jimmy King Nick Miles

Kerry Wyatt Laura Norton

Laurel Thomas Charlotte Bellamy

Leanna Cavanagh Mimi Slinger

Leyla Harding Roxy Shahidi

Liam Cavanagh Jonny McPherson

Liv Flaherty Isobel Steele

Lydia Hart Karen Blick

Mandy Dingle Lisa Riley

Marlon Dingle Mark Charnock

Matty Barton Ash Palmisciano

Maya Stepney Louisa Clein

Moira Dingle Natalie J Robb

Nicola King Nicola Wheeler

Noah Dingle Jack Downham

Paddy Kirk Dominic Brunt

PC Swirling Andy Moore

Pearl Ladderbanks Meg Johnson

Pete Barton Anthony Quinlan

Priya Kotecha Fiona Wade

Rhona Goskirk Zoe Henry

Rishi Sharma Bhasker Patel

Robert Sugden Ryan Hawley

Rodney Blackstock Patrick Mower

Rosie Lucy Hird

Ryan Stocks James Moore

Sam Dingle James Hooton

Samson Dingle Sam Hall

Santa Howard Corssley

Sarah Sugden Katie Hill

Selwyn Trone Huggins

Tracy Metcalfe Amy Walsh

Vanessa Woodfield Michelle Hardwick

Victoria Barton Isabel Hodgins

Vinnie Bradley Johnson

Security guard Duggal Ram

Stripper Chris Ritchie

Doctor Chris Pybus

Paramedic Nicholas Camm

Pimp Robert Ashcroft