#sheriff galpin

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Wednesday: *is being arrested*

Enid: Wow. God forbid women do anything these days.

Sheriff Galpin: Kid your friend-

Wednesday: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit.

Thing: H-O-M-O-P-H-O-B-E

Sheriff Galpin: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed four grown men in the hospital.

Enid: And… She looked good doing it.

Wednesday: They deserved it. One of them told me to smile.

Enid: You tell him baby.

Sheriff Galpin: You know what? I can’t with… whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially your problem.

Enid: Yay!

Wednesday: *pausing mid-escape and casually handing the sheriff broken handcuffs* Miserable-night Sheriff.

Sheriff Galpin: *whispering* I hate you.

Wednesday: *also whispering* I’m glad.

Enid: Hurry up babycakes, I need my cuddle buddy.

Wednesday: *smirking* Coming Amore.

[achromatophoric]

— In a room at the Jericho hospital. —

Wednesday: What… what happened?

Sheriff Galpin: Miss Addams, there was an incident at your graduation ceremony. Witnesses say you were attacked. By a classmate.

Wednesday:

Sheriff Galpin: Do you remem—

Wednesday: *sharply* Enid Sinclair.

Sheriff Galpin: *grim nod*

Wednesday: And my hand?

Sheriff Galpin: You just spent the last 18 hours having it surgically reattached. You were very lucky. The paramedics found you unconscious from blood loss, with a death grip on your, er, severed hand.

Wednesday: *begins to… smile?*

Sheriff Galpin: *takes a full step back* Uh… Miss Addams? Are you feeling alright? Do you need the nurse?

Wednesday: I must contact my father immediately. He will know what to do.

Sheriff Galpin: *grunts* Right. I suppose this calls for legal advice.

Wednesday: No, this calls for a celebration.

Sheriff Galpin:

Sheriff Galpin: Pardon?

— Back at Nevermore. Enid is seated in a Lupin cage with her face in her hands, sobbing. Several officers stand guard, monitored by Principal Weems. —

Bianca: *rushes up* Pugsley just texted me! Wednesday’s out of surgery! It’s going to be okay, Enid. We’ll figure out what really happened!

Principal Weems: *deep sigh* Don’t bother.

Bianca: What? Why?

Principal Weems: For one, those are happy tears.

Enid: *drops her hands, revealing a huge smile* She said yes, Bianca! SHE SAID YES!!

Bianca: Yes? The fuck you talking about??

Principal Weems: It’s an Addams family tradition. Tisha did the same thing. Proffered Gomez his own hand in marriage, after removing it with a hatchet.

Bianca: You are shitting me.

Principal Weems: *grows distant* Even… even missing a hand, he— *shudders* —he couldn’t keep them off her…

[tabrisofmars]

Wednesday squints her eyes: Why must everything burn my retina?

Enid, giggling: You agreed to let me decorate my side for Xmas.

Yoko: Pupper, I think you overdid it again this year.

Enid: I'm not even done yet! Here let me plug in the lights.

Yoko hands a spare pair of sunglasses to Wednesday

Wednesday:

Yoko: Just trust me for once, Stabitha

Wednesday sneers but puts on the shades

Enid's side of the room bursts into light

Wednesday: It is like the Sun personally punches me in the face

Yoko: Yeah I feel like I'm about to catch fire and curse God

Two miles away Sheriff Galpin spits out his coffee

Galpin on the radio: I need backup. I think Nevermore is on fire.

[horror-lady00]

Wednesday: I'm tired of this interrogation. I wish to leave.

Sheriff Galpin: Well, sorry, princess, but it's not kind of conversation you can just walk out of.

Wednesday: Then you leave me no choice. *Opens her mouth in silent scream*

Sheriff Galpin: What- What was that? What did you do?

Wednesday: A call for assistance.

*Several minutes later a large blonde wolf with pink tints breaks through the wall, stunning everyone around. Wednesday casually stands up and climbes on it*

Wednesday: Away, my loyal Lupus.

*Both walk out of police station*

[pey0805]

This might just be my Delulu thinking getting the best of me, but I feel like the lack of Tyler in the teaser is actually a good thing and that it just means that they couldn't show us anything with him without giving everything away cause he's gonna be a big part of the story… 🧐🙂

[psychic-refugee]

My original theory for S2 and the Stalker has completely been obliterated, and honestly from all the new big names attached to it, and the smaller names, it’s a lot to fit in only 8 episodes.

The cast is very crowded for an 8-episode season. With limited time and “space” in the story, I feel like with Wednesday the only common thread and obviously will be in every episode, and Ortega herself saying each episode will feel like its own movie, I feel like most of the actors will actually only get one episode.

There’s also some indication that some of the students have already wrapped up their filming (specifically Joy Sunday via IG posts who is a top billed star), which is very short to me if true and insinuates to me that only one or two episode will be at the school. Which also supports the other rumours that the Addams estate will be heavily featured.

I would like it if some of the students got a significant B plot to explore their characters more throughout the season, but I don’t have confidence in the writers to explore anyone but Wednesday. So far, every other character is just a prop for her.

My new theory is that the season will start at the Addams estate. Maybe a funeral to intro many new Addamses. Then each subsequent episode will have her deal with different Addamses and the family lore.

She’s also supposed to be on a break, so starting at the Addams estate makes sense to me.

In no particular order, but what I think will be included in episodes:

1: We see Wednesday’s home life and more interaction and possible backstory to her friction with Morticia. This will include Morticia, Gomez, Pugsly, and Grandmama. I don’t think Pubert exists in this universe.

2: Uncle Fester centered episode which will also serve as a backdoor pilot to his spinoff.

3-6: She visits with various Addamses, really expanding the Wednesday universe, each with their own issues she has to figure out. So, each episode is more or less a procedural, horror mystery/ “Outcast of the week” This will include Noah Taylor, Billie Piper, Christopher Lloyd, Francis O’Connor, Haley Joel Osmet, Heather Matarazzo, Joonas Suotamo.

Besides just having something to do over break, perhaps Wednesday visits family to test the stalker’s reach, who is still sending her proof of being stalked. When back at Nevermore, she finally figures out who the stalker is because she has eliminated who it couldn’t be based on how they’re able to stalk her from family member to family member and then back to Nevermore.

7-8: Break is over and they’re back at Nevermore. Enid will heavily be featured to talk about her status as a transformed wolf within her pack. Maybe talk about some issues with Ajax because he’s not a werewolf and now she has more options within the Werewolf community. We’ll also see what happened to Tyler and Sheriff Galpin. And it’ll introduce the new faculty at Nevermore.

Maybe Tyler confronts his dad about what he knew about his wife being a Hyde, if anything, and what it means to have a half-outcast child. Galpin will talk his son into accepting his responsibility in what happened, and Tyler voluntarily turns himself in and Thandiwe Newton is his new therapist, perhaps at the same insane asylum his mother.

Wednesday visits him before he’s on a long absence to get his powers and mental health in order. They make peace.

New students Evie Templeton and Owen Painter will feature. I wonder if Owen will be Enid’s triangle love interest, as he has dark, pale features like Ajax. Perhaps she has a type. lol

Xavier, Divina, Kent, and Yoko’s absence will be explained that their families feel that Nevermore has gone downhill and they are pulled from the school to attend an alternative Outcast school.

Steve Buscemi as the new Headmaster will do something to spring into the 3rd season and we’re left with a question about something. lol

[in3jj]

Sheriff Galpin: You tried to torture my son.

Wednesday: Well, he’s a pyschotic monster who’s killed multiple innocent people. So I think it’s justified.

Sheriff Galpin: I literally walked in on you two making out yesterday.

[hislittleraincloud]

Y'all too busy creaming over this fic to be angry over this, so lemme do it for you:

WHAT

the

FUCK.

I'm...what?

[wednesdayorwhatever]

Wednesday as Reductress Headlines (part 2):

part 1 part 3

[vaniloqu3nce]

[lorelaiblair]

My thoughts as I rewatch Wednesday Part 1

-enid’s hands at her sides as she runs over to meet wednesday for the first time is the silliest and cutest thing ever

-donavan let’s the first crime scene be contaminated by the rain, he’s not even trying to preserve evidence

-enid’s a little psycho, it’s perfect

-thornhills fashion sense is horrible

-why is xavier just hovering over her when she wakes up after the gargoyle attack??? how long has he been just standing over her???

-for everything that she is, that she pretends to be, seeing death really shakes her. seeing that vision of the delivery man dying really bothered her

-“boo” wednesday says and the borneo pilgrims attack her, babes, she’s 5 foot tall, that really scared you so badly you had to attack her?? she handed you your ass. deserved.

-she plays with the necklace morticia gave her when she sees the dead delivery man, proving my earlier point

-is that beer in his desk drawer? donavan a drunk??? can’t say i’m surprised

-weems really cares about wednesday, in a complicated and messy way, but she does care

-enid is everything

-her outfits are so cute

-enid being the first person she’s actually venerable around, telling her about her emotions and her past

-“are you sure that you can trust that normie?” she cares. she cares. she loves so much. they barely know each other and enid cares so much.

-what was with the birds in her vision of rowan? are they about her being a raven or is it something else?

part 2 / part 3

[weyler]

the characters from the wednesday series as random memes saved on my phone:

wednesday:

enid:

tyler:

xavier:

bianca:

eugene:

ajax:

principal weems:

marilyn thornhill:

sheriff galpin:

[achromatophoric]

Wenclairtober 2024, Day 20 - Pumpkins

It’s ten minutes to midnight as Wednesday and Enid prepare for bed after the inaugural Jericho Fairy Tale Ball.

Enid: Hold up. The sexy black Bugatti we took to the dance— that car?

Wednesday: Correct.

Enid: *stunned* Holy crap. Grandmama’s got some sick magic.

Wednesday: Yes, the sickest. Though I must point out that, like in the fairy tales that were tonight’s central theme, the enchantment is temporary.

Enid: You mean—seriously? It’s gonna turn back at midnight? Like exactly at midnight?

Wednesday: *nods*

Enid: 🤨

Enid: Babe, what happens if someone is inside the car when it changes back?

Wednesday: *thoughtful look*

Wednesday: That… is an excellent question. I actually do not know. It has never come up.

Enid: 😦

Enid: Uhhh… did you remember to tell Yoko any of this before you gave her the keys to go joyriding?

Wednesday: 😒

Wednesday: Hrm.

— 10 minutes later, just outside of Jericho. A police car idles on the side of road with its occupants staring into the middle distance. —

Officer 1: Did— Did that just fucking happen?

Officer 2: I dunno. What uh— What do you think happened?

Officer 1: I don’t even fucking know, man. That shit just—what the actual fuck?

Officer 2: What the fuck is right. Christ almighty…

The two officers sit in silence for a moment.

Officer 1: So uh—what should we tell Sheriff Galpin?

Officer 2: *turns to stare* Are you fucking kidding? Nothing!

Officer 1: B-But procedure—

Officer 2: Fuck procedure! Do YOU want to tell him that we lost the nineteen million dollar Bugatti we were chasing—

Officer 2: —which, by the way, was doing well over 150 in a fucking 65—

Officer 2: —because it magically transformed from a supercar into some Asian chick in a fucking Prince Charming costume—

Officer 2: —with only several hundred yard of fucking PUMPKIN SCRAPS as our only physical evidence?!

Officer 1: Well, when you put it that way…

Officer 2: Jesus Christ, man. We’re just lucky she didn’t fucking die when she hit the goddamned road. Can you imagine the fucking paperwork?

Officer 1: *shudders* Thank God for that, at least.

Officer 2: *rubs face* Fuck Nevermore, man. Got nothing against Outcasts, but I swear that place is gonna give me a heart attack.

Officer 1: You and me bo—

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

The two officers shriek in terror, only to find one Yoko Tanaka, still dripping with pumpkin, standing outside the driver’s side window. She makes a rolling motion with her hand.

Officer 1: *rolls down window* Y-Yes, Ma’am?

Yoko: Evening again, Officers! So uh—so funny story. Turns out my phone totally shattered when I hit the asphalt, and it’s a reaaaaally long walk back to Nevermore, so can I like—bum a ride?

Officer 1/Officer 2: 😨😨

Yoko: *nicest fanged smile* Pretty please?

Officer 1/Officer 2: *hesitant nods*

Yoko: 😎

[gardenoblues]

Judge: I'm dropping your charges.

Tyler: Thanks I'm not doing it again.

Sheriff Galpin: Just...lock him up.

[itshype]

I know all the fics are all about Evil/Mean Sherriff Galpin but there was nothing funnier than when he interrupted their weird date in the crypt and just went "yeah, okay, I can't stop this can I?"

More tired dad Sherriff!

[a-humble-bagel]

i could be wrong, but i’m pretty sure that “Wednesday” is the first form of The Addams Family that isn’t satire (I haven’t seen the 2019 and 2021 movies and idk if I ever will).

This just leads to some interesting new perspectives because now a lot of people are trying to rationalize/moralize some of Wednesday’s actions which is interesting because no one’s ever had to do that before. 

I think the lack of satire also makes some of the Addams’ actions in the show a little confusing, like how they seem to love all things dark and murderous but then when Gomez gets accused of murder they act as though it’s a terrible thing (I know this can be rationalized by saying that they were scared of the consequences he’d face, but honestly it would’ve been nice if it didn’t have to be rationalized in the first place). 

The thing with satire is that their actions never had to be rationalized because it was funny. Sure, it was dark humour, but you could tell that it was a joke. It was obvious that the point of those dark jokes was to entertain, and those weren’t the morals the story was preaching. Take this scene in “The Addams Family Values” for example where Wednesday sets Amanda on fire: 

It’s obvious that the movie isn’t telling you “set the people who bully you on fire”, because it’s obviously satire. To find the actual message, you have to look deeper into the dark campiness to find the heart of what the story is about. Satires are exaggerations of real life problems, and The Addams Family looks at the flaws within the “ideal American family”. This scene is telling the audience to stand up to bullies, that adults can be blind and part of the problem, not to bully outcasts/people who seem weird, that history is often sanitized, and that colonialism is bad. It’s also a badass moment that feels great because Wednesday and the other “weird” kids are finally getting revenge on a bunch of rude and horrible people.

Now compare that to the scene in “Wednesday” where Wednesday tortures Tyler. True, the scenes take place in very different contexts. Tyler is someone who has physically hurt people, including Wednesday’s friend, so it’s more personal. In this scene, it isn’t just justice she’s after, it’s cold-hearted vengeance (that may be mixed with some feelings of being hurt).. With Amanda, it’s more lighthearted as Amanda never killed anyone. Nevertheless, in both scenes, Wednesday gets violent revenge on someone who’s wronged her, but the message in the TV show is that torture is bad. The Nightshades turn their backs on Wednesday, and she faces consequences for her actions. And that brings me to my next point: consequences.

In “Wednesday”, The Addams family has to face actual legal consequences. In the 90s movies, they only had to face social consequences. Even though they did all those horrifying terrible things, the only repercussions they got were disdain and annoyance from the other characters, which isn’t much of a repercussion. Even in “The Addams Family” when Tully throws them out of their house, the police are never involved, and the thought of the Addams’ going to jail doesn’t even cross the audience’s mind. This is partly what allows them to wholeheartedly engage in macabre and murderous things: the narrative doesn’t punish them for it, and they never face serious consequences. 

After all, if the Addams’ in the 90s movies faced serious consequences, the narrative wouldn’t go anywhere. If the storyline allowed the Addams’ to be arrested, then the judge at the start likely would’ve called the police when Gomez kept hitting golf balls through his window. Gomez would’ve been arrested, and the story couldn’t progress. As a satire, the 90s movies require there to be a lack of police in order to convey the messages of the films. That way, the Addams’ can do all of their usual spooky and dangerous things, which convey the deeper lessons of the story. However, “Wednesday” took away the satire and added in the police.

From the start, the Addams’ are treated as not “ordinary” people, but they no longer exist outside of the law. This is shown in the very first episode, when Wednesday puts the piranhas in the pool. Morticia later mentions that “the boy’s father wanted to press attempted murder charges”. That is a huge difference from the 90s movies. If this was a scene in one of the 90s movies, Wednesday likely would’ve still been expelled, but it would’ve been something she was smugly satisfied about, and there would be no the threat of legal actions. 

In other words, the previous versions of The Addams Family were all treated as satire characters, which allowed them to get away with things that they wouldn’t be able to do in the real world (playing with death/dangerous activities/torture) without the narrative punishing them for it, and without them facing real consequences. Satires require exaggeration, so extremes had to be allowed. However, “Wednesday” treated The Addams’ as regular characters, and had them face consequences like being arrested and jail. This makes it feel like they’re all bark and no bite: it seems like they talk about death and violence but deep down, they abhor it.

This is what made Gomez’s arrest seem somewhat contradictory. The Addams talk so much about how they love death, so why did Wednesday and Morticia have to go to such lengths to prove that he didn’t kill anyone? And Wednesday’s comment at the end of the episode about how she knows Gomez couldn’t really kill anyone just reinforces the idea that the Addams’ are all bark and no bite.

 Besides, whether or not the Addams’ themselves actually disapproved of Gomez murdering someone, the narrative disapproved of it. The story punishes Gomez for potentially being a murderer, just like it punishes Wednesday for torturing Tyler. Since the Addams’ aren’t satire characters in this interpretation, it can’t allow them to go to the same extremes as satire characters, it has to punish them, otherwise it would convey the message “torture and murder are good”.

This isn’t a criticization of how the show interpreted the Addams’, it’s just a neat thing I started thinking about and then decided to write out. 

tldr: The Addams’ aren’t satire in “Wednesday”, so while they still have the same values/talk the same way as their 90s movie counterparts, the narrative has to have them face serious consequences so it doesn’t convey the wrong message.