#super dc calendar

[cantsayidont]

November 1976. The November calendar from the 1976 SUPER DC CALENDAR. (The main image, as the signatures indicate, is by Neal Adams and Dick Giordano.)

I think all the birthdates were probably selected by DC editor Bob Rozakis. They popped up occasionally in stories and in responses in his "Ask the Answer Man" column in DC books of the '70s and early '80s. As for the vignettes in the calendar itself, I can identify some of them, but not all. (For instance, the Robin vignette looks like Irv Novick, while I think Martha Kent's is by George Papp.)

[tomoleary]

Deadman & The Spectre vs Easter Island Statues , 1977 Super DC Calendar by Neal Adams

[bclaymoore]

DC Comics' 1977 SUPER DC Calendar, art by various. Featuring a Legion of Super-Heroes poster with art by Mike Grell.

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

Vlads secretary recently quit in the middle of Vladco having a minor business expansion into Gotham and now he needs to hire a new one.

The bats are currently investigating one Vladimir Masters after he started to bring his business into Gotham. They’re very interested in the suspicious nature he acquired his wealth. Maybe it’s time to forge some resumes and bust out some old identities, Tim still has that blonde wig after all.

[ungoliantschilde]

Batman Vs. Doctor Light, by Dick Giordano.

[science70]

Neal Adams, Dick Giordano, Superman portrait from the Super DC Calendar 1976 (Warner Books, 1975).

[aboutzatanna]

Zee'a birthday was first revealed in the 1976 DC Super Calendar.

Fun fact: Zatanna shares her birthday with her co creator Gardner Fox.

Here is the link to the full calendar with images that include some gorgeous artwork by Neal Adams

If you want a list with just the dates and any changes and inconsistencies, try here and here.

Have fun finding out if you share a birthday with a DC character or a significant DC event!

The art in the calendar dates are clearly cut outs from the comics. In Zee's case, its from Detectice Comics #355 during her debut arc when she teamed up with Elongated Man to rescue her father. Art by Carmine Infantino.

[johnvenus]

According to the 1976 DC Super Calendar (link), October 6th is the date Larry Lance died leading to his wife, Dinah Drake Lance a.k.a Black Canary, to leave Earth 2 plus the JSA and to join the Earth 1 Justice League.

Based on the tomebstone, he was 49 when he died.

[thatwritererinoriordan]

Funko Pop! Advent Calendar - DC Super Heroes 2023, 24 Pocket Pop! Vinyl Figures

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:

Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:

DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.

Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.

-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.

-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.

-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.

Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:

👑👑: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.

👑😮‍💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.

🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.

👑Alfred Pennyworth👑

Most popular: August 16

Other date(s): April 8 and March 31

(I think it'd be hella cute if Jason and Alfred shared a bday. But if you keep scrolling through the rest of the list, you'll see that August is kind of an overcrowded bday month for the Batfam.

Depending on what you prefer, though, I still think Alfred's worth being celebrated. Lord knows he deserves a special day for himself)

(Update ((8/24/23)): No big inconsistencies between these dates. I just thought it would be fun to provide some info on why Alfred has two canonical birthdates.

So the reason August 16 is viewed as the most popular is for two main reasons. One, obviously, is that he shares a birth date with Jason Todd. So many fans latch onto this date because of how sweet it is for them to share a birthday together.

The second reason has to do with the origin of the birth date. This is because of the more recent retcon that was made by the prequel comic to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game that was published in 2013. There is a panel in the comic that shows Alfred's birth certificate in full detail from his full name, his place of birth, etc.

As for April 8, this specific date technically has more history compared to August 16. Fans will cite that April 8 was the official date selected by DC according to their Super DC Calendar back in 1976 (which btw was made in 1975).

Compared to August 16 and April 8, however, March 31 oddly enough isn't that popular or recognized by DC or the majority of the fandom. The reason March 31 does come up is because March 31, 1943 was the date when Alfred made his first appearance in the comics, one day after Bruce/Batman)

🤡Bruce Wayne🤡: Hey. Hey, DC, look at me. Bitch.

Most popular: February 19 or April 7

Other date(s): April 25, May 27, March 30, "October," October 7, and "November"

(It looks like most people go with February 19, but don't come at me if you're a April 7 truther. I'm just existing)

(Update ((8/20/23)): I'm gonna shoot somebody. So after doing a little bit more research, I came across-you'd never guess it-even more conflicting info on when Bruce's birthday is supposed to take place.

While April 7 and February 19 are still popular days for fans to celebrate Batman's bday, March 30 is also considered a popular date due to March 30, 1939 being the day Detective Comics #27 ((the issue Batman debuted in)) was put on shelves.

HOWEVER, even Batman's debut is contested to actually be May 27, 1939 because despite the fact that Detective Comics #27 first appeared to the public on March 30, 1939, the cover issue depicted May 27, 1939 instead.

This is because it was a popular practice for comics publication houses to falsify their cover dates as a way to give the impression that the latest issue was newer than it actually was. So if you really, really wanna get super fucking technical about it ((and I know there are some of you out there who do)), Batman may have debuted on March 30, but the cover-issue date was May 27 so, yes, I guess Bruce could have been a May baby instead.

I hate it here.

Oh, and to make matters more complicated, let's discuss the issue of April 7 vs April 25. So the reason April 7 is a popular bday for Bruce is because the original 1930-40s run just outright stated that April 7 was his birthday. Simple enough.

So what does April 25 have to do with this? Well, that's because technically-I think I hate that word now btw-Batman didn't get his own solo comic until April 25, 1940. If you want to go by April 25 because of this logic, however, that means that you'd have to share Bruce's birthday with the Joker. Because guess what? That's also the exact date that the Joker debuted.

I'm personally not a huge fan of Bruce and the Joker sharing a bday. Mostly just because the dates are clearly already complicated enough. But also I feel like April 25 is just known as the Joker's bday at this point, at least in the DC fandom. And Bruce has so many options at this point that it'd be kinda silly to make them share a bday.

As for the "sometime in October" and "sometime in November" additions, we have Batman The Animated Series and Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" to thank for those extremely vague options.

BTAS Bruce states that his birthday is "sometime in October" and "Batman: Year One" Bruce is responsible for "sometime in November." I repeat: I hate it here.

So when is Bruce's actual birthday? Well, the latest change that DC has "officially" made was the February 19 retcon during the 1970-80s. When a fan sent a question into Detective Comics about Bruce's birthday, the answer given was "February 19" in the letter column. Issue #494, to be exact.

And the reason this answer was given? Because the Super DC Calender for 1976 (again made in 1975) said so.

However, there are still people who prefer to celebrate his bday on April 7 or March 30 instead. And there's also a question floating around if the New 52 run could potentially retcon Bruce's bday AGAIN at some point in the future.

I. Hate. It. Here.

Personally, I liked February 19 because then Alfred could maybe have the month of April to himself. But after seeing all this new info, I'm just sort of resigned to whichever date that the fandom prefers. Y'all can decide. I don't have any energy left.

Also, I can't believe I have to accuse Bruce of having possibly taught Dick his bday scam. Just .... wow).

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, DC did it to me again. I found this extra little tidbit while googling the Super DC Calendar for Alfred, actually.

So Issue #10 of the 2021 Legends of the Dark Knight decided to give the BTAS's "sometime in October" an actual sometime.

How do I feel about yet another Bruce Wayne bday retcon? Honestly, I think I'm moving closer and closer to just a bland state of acceptance at this point. Tbh, I don't think all these retcons actually matter that much in the end. DC is gonna keep being DC.

Which is annoying. But Idk I'm personally gonna stick with February 19. No shade to you if you prefer any of the other dates. I just like February 19 more than the others)

👑Kate Kane👑

Most popular: March 21

Other date(s): January 26

(So ... where to start to with this one?

Well the official DC canon birth date for Kate Kane is listed as March 21. That being said, if you were to google Kate's birthday right now, you might be confused because that's not the first result that comes up.

Instead, you'll be greeted with January 26, 1990.

So what gives? If there's already an official DC approved birth date, then why the fuck is January 26 coming up all of a sudden?

Well, folks, you have the CW's Batwoman to thank.

Tbh I was very confused as to how I completely missed that there was an entire Batwoman TV show in the first place.

Apparently the show is considered a part of the CW Arrowverse (in reference to the CW show Arrow featuring Oliver Queen, for those of you who need extra info) and ran for 3 whole seasons before being cancelled on April 9, 2022.

And they gave us actual canon lesbian Kate Kane rep. I mean, she is a lesbian. But yeah. CW actually acknowledged her sexual orientation. So kudos for doing the bare minimum?????

Anyway, I guess the showrunners just decided they wanted Kate's birthday to be on January 26 instead of March 21??? Idk if this was supposed to be a reference or an homage to Cassandra Cain's birthday. I doubt it, but who knows?)

🤡Dick Grayson🤡: Greedy bitch who keeps lying about his birthday so he can scam people into giving him more presents jk jk

Most popular: "On the first day of spring" (bruh) or March 20/21

Other date(s): March 6, "April," October 24 (aka "the week before Halloween"), November 11 and December 1

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 24

(Dick's canon bday seems to be influx. March 6, March 20, March 21, November 11, June 24, December 1, and so on. I did see multiple sources state Dick was born "on the first day of spring." I'm unclear atm about whether this is a fanon take or if it was actually stated in a particular comic at some point.

As far as I'm concerned, Dick just keeps lying about his birthday for the lols)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, guess what I found, folks?

It's a return visit from our favorite friend, the Super DC Calendar of 1976. And according to it, Dick's birthday should be November 11.

You can also thank the Young Justice comic for the confusion surrounding Dick's bday being on December 1.

Also, I found this post by @theflyingwonder that helps clear up a LOT of the mess surrounding Dick's ever changing birth date. Honestly, amazing work and extra kudos to them for putting all the work in and finding all the sources. I just wished I had found their post earlier, holy shit.

And if you have some extra time, please give some love to @inkydandy for their hilarious and very sweet comic about all the confusion that comes with Dick's bday)

(Update ((8/25/23)): Many thanks to @poisoned-ivy for clearing up even more of the mess surrounding Dick's bday. I went ahead and took a screenshot of their response to my old "Which date is Dick's canon bday?" poll.

They also provided a link to the DC Universe Calendar which was lovingly compiled from the original 1976 Super DC Calendar and then put together by the people who run the Five Earths Project .

Also found out from them today that October 24 is one of Dick's bdays ((at least for Post-Crisis Dick Grayson)). So that was a fun new discovery!

They were also very helpful in helping me realize that the original article I had found that stated "sometime in April" was actually in reference to Dick Grayson's first appearance in the comics, which was April 1940.

So, yes, "sometime in April" is technically--again I hate this word so much now--still a valid candidate for Dick's bday. And before you ask: Detective Comics #38 was actually published on March 6, 1940.

Hence why people will cite March 6 as Dick's canon bday instead.

This project got a lot bigger than I ever expected it to ... god)

👑Barbara Gordon👑: September 23

👑Jason Todd👑: August 16

👑Cassandra Cain👑: January 26

👑Tim Drake👑: July 19

👑Stephanie Brown😮‍💨: She emerged from the void with the sole purpose of dragging Bruce's ass to hell and back. Nothing can stop her. We all exist in her world now.

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 23, "August," or August 11

(For real, though, some peeps will say June 23 since the month she officially debuted in the comics was June 1992.

But I've also seen August 1992 listed as her bday month as well--lot of August babies in the Batfam, huh--but I haven't found June 23 specifically listed as her canon bday, either. It honestly feels like the fans are putting in more work than DC at this point. Which, like, I'm not surprised. Just disappointed)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Someone mentioned August 11 as a potential birth date, but I have yet to see an actual source that specifically states this. If I do find one, I'll edit this section. Figured I should put it here just in case, though)

👑Duke Thomas👑: August 13

👑Damian Wayne👑: August 9

👑Terry McGinnis😮‍💨

Most popular: August 18

Other date(s): June 27 or August 10

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)

(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol

Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)

(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying

I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.

Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.

Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.

Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.

I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.

It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.

Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.

(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)

[justlikebart-allen]

saw a couple posts about today (Aug 9th) being Damian Wayne's birthday, but when I looked for a source I couldn't find one for the life of me. which of course sent me down a rabbit hole of batfam birthdays. so.

Official Birthdays

*official as in they appear in canon and seem to be the most popular amongst fans. a bunch of these knuckleheads have multiple birthdays.

Cassandra Cain was born on January 26th according to Batgirl (2000) #33, though in that same issue she celebrates it some time in June because fuck her dad.

Bruce Wayne was born of February 19th according to the Detective Comics #494 fan letters column. Or April 7th, if you're looking at Star Spangled Comics #91 (Golden Age), or October 7th in Legends of the Dark Knight (2021) #10. Feb 19th seems to be the one that's used most often.

Dick Grayson was born on "the first day of spring" (aka March 20th) according to Robin (1993) Annual #4, or November 11th according to the Super DC Calendar of 1976, or a week-ish before Halloween according to Secret Origins (1986) #50, or December 1st according to Young Justice (2011) #20. March 20th fits into the robin origin story though, so we're gonna go with that.

Alfred Pennyworth was born on April 8th according to the Super DC Calendar of 1976, or August 16th according to Injustice: Gods Among Us: Year Five #26 (side note: double colons in titles should be illegal). Neither of these are anywhere near real canon, but Injustice is supplementary material for a fighting game, and I'm always more inclined to go with a pure comics source. Plus this way he and Jason don't have to share.

Tim Drake was born on July 19th according to Robin (1993) #116. He's only got the one birthday and in that issue he totally forgot about it.

Jason Todd was born on August 16th according to Detective Comics #790. No information on when exactly his rebirth day is.

Barbara Gordon was born on September 23rd according to the Super DC Calendar of 1976. That's the only source we've got so that's what we're gonna use.

Unofficial Birthdays

Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, and Damian Wayne have never had their birthdays stated in canon, so most people have assigned them birthdays based on either their debut date (Duke) or some other criteria that is a mystery to me. Those dates (from what I have gathered) respectively are:

Steph: August 11th, Duke: August 13th, Damian: August 9th

WHY ARE THEY ALL AUGUST??? THAT'S 4 (or 5 if you count Alfred) BIRTHDAYS IN THE SPAN OF A WEEK! WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE TO BE LEOS???

anyway that's the fruits of my afternoon/evening. if anyone has corrections with sources or dc canonizes a birthday in a comic I'm not reading (which is most of them, my comics taste is stuck in the 90s/early 2000s), let me know.

[salparadiselost]

I said if people sacrificed 5000 boops to me, you’d get a prize! I think I’ve gotten like 9 of them so here’s the prize as promised!

Thank you @cat-lady-uwu @penny-anna @jube514 @spookyprime @dc-event-calendar @chemical-processes and others who I may have forgotten for playing the game and helping get a prize. You each get a super special crowbar to bring to the party.

Happy April Fools Everyone!

[tomoleary]

Neal Adams and Dick Giordano - Super DC Calendar 1976 back cover

[bclaymoore]

DC Comics' 1976 SUPER DC Calendar, with art by Neal Adams and Dick Giordano.

[docgold13]

Batman: The Animated Series - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Happy Birthday Batman

An official DC Comics calendar published for 1976 identified February 19th as Bruce Wayne’s birthday.  Other dates have been mentioned in the comics as possibly being the Batman’s birthday yet the nineteenth of February still seems the most canonically recognized.  Really, a Pisces?  

In any case, to celebrate the Dark Knight’s birthday here are paper cut-outs of Batman in all his various animated forms.  Who knew there were so many?

The Adventures Of Batman was the first Batman cartoon series and ran from 1968 to 1969.  It stared Olan Soule in the role of Batman with a young Casey Kasem in the role of Robin. 

The SuperFriends brought Batman together with the world’s greatest heroes and ran from 1973 all the way to 1986.  Soul and Kasem both reprised their roles as Batman and Robin in the series.

The New Adventures of Batman ran for a single season in 1977 featuring Adam West as Batman and Burt Ward as Robin.  This was a particularly silly show and featured a great deal of a magical imp known as Bat-Mite.  

1992 saw the advent of the greatest cartoon of all time as Batman: The Animated Series debuted and ran through to 1995.  The great Kevin Conroy provided the voice for Batman.

The New Batman Adventures was a continuation of Batman: The Animated Series with some updated stylistic changes.  It ran from 1997 to 1999, featuring Conroy as Batman.  

Batman Beyond entailed a Gotham City of the future where an aged Bruce Wayne trains a young man on his path to filling the mantle of The Batman.  It ran from 1999 to 2001 and stared Kevin Conroy as Bruce Wayne and Will Friedle as his protégé, Terry McGinnis.

Justice League brought the Superfriends back together this time under the banner of The Justice League (and later Justice League Unlimited).  It ran from 2001 to 2006 and once more featured Kevin Conroy in the role of Batman.

The Batman, which ran from 2004 to 2008, departed from the continuity established in Batman: The Animated Series and presented a new version of the Caped Crusader and his various allies and adversaries.  It starred Rino Romano in the role of Batman with Evan Sabara and Danielle Judovits as Robin and Batgirl.    

Echoing the campiness of 1966, Batman: The Brave and The Bold was a fun, light-hearted anthology series that ran from 2004 to 2008.  Each episode saw Batman teaming up with different heroes of the DC Universe for madcap adventures.  Diedrich Bader stared as Batman.

The series Young Justice, which ran non-concurrently from 2010 to 2022, focused primarily on Robin and the other younger heroes as they made their way from being sidekicks to a team in the own right.  Batman featured in many of the episodes where he was voiced by Bruce Greenwood.  

Beware the Batman from for a single season in 2013.  Anthony Ruivivar voiced Batman in this dark, largely computer animated series.  

Batman Unlimited ran from 2015 to 2016.  This was primarily a commercial in animated form featuring short, action-packed stories in tandem with the release of action figures and toy vehicles.  Roger Craig Smith provided the voice for Batman. 

Justice League Action brought back the League for more light-hearted adventures with a star-studded cast.  It ran from 2016 to 2018 with Kevin Conroy returning to once again voice Batman.  

Batman appeared as a periodic guest star in the DC Super Hero Girls series, which ran from 2019 to 2022.  Herein Batman spoke in a barely audible growl that only the other characters could comprehend.  Whereas actor Keith Ferguson provided the voice for Bruce Wayne, who further hid his secret identity as the the Caped Crusader by featuring in the ridiculous reality TV show, ‘Making it Wayne.’

A lampooned version of the Dark Knight sporadically features in the zany Harley Quinn animated series, premiering in 2019.   Diedrich Bader reprises his role from Batman: The Brave and The Bold, voicing this decidedly goofier version of the Dark Knight.

And finally, hopefully debuting some time soon, Batman: The Caped Crusader acts as a spiritual successor to Batman: The Animated Series and features the final acting role of the late, great Kevin Conroy, reprising Batman one last time.  

[dumpster-dive-reading]

Yandere Harley Quinn x Nurse/Medical Assistant Reader

So I've read quite a few of these Yandere x Reader fics, and I decided to try writing one of my own after getting inspired by this post from @anxiousnerdwritings

Go check out their blog, they have more experience writing this kind of thing than I do, and their work is super good.

(Fair warning that I am quite new to the DC universe and writing x reader fics, so this may not be perfect)

Warnings: This is a yandere romance, so obsessive behaviors, mild violence, possessive stuff, some mild sleep touching. Not anything too intense.

Four years of studying criminal psychology, hours upon hours of going through disturbing case studies, reading transcripts of Joker’s interview tapes- nothing could have prepared you for this. Perhaps for the average underpaid intern, working at Arkham was draining, tedious, depressing work- working just a few feet away from the most dangerous criminals in Gotham was surprisingly dull. But you weren’t average- no, you had hope for these criminals- and that certainly caught her attention.

Harley could remember the first time she laid eyes on you. She had heard that there’d be some new folks coming into Arkham. The inmates began to make bets on how quickly the first ones would leave. She wasn’t all that interested, she’d seen far too many people come and go. It was always the same excuses: “these criminals are just far too scary” or “someone stabbed me, I really don’t want to come into work tomorrow”. They’d hire anyone in Arkham these days. These nurses couldn’t even take a tiny little death threat or twelve, they were so weak and scared. And threatening them was doing them a favor- if they couldn’t handle the little tiny knife she brought in, then what about the big tough guys like Riddler or Killer Croc?  Or some really terrifying folks like Calendar man? 

Thus, she didn’t expect to have any interest in the “fresh meat” at Arkham. Then again, nothing tends to go the way that Harley expects- she learned that lesson after being tossed into the chemical vats, and after kidnapping Batman, and after trying to win over that good-for-nothing Joker for years and years and years.

You walked into the room with Harley’s medicine. An assortment of pills in a neatly labeled paper cup, a bit of water alongside it. Your task was to get Harley to take her medicine- a task that meant you had half the patients the other nurses did. Harley was known for being a bit difficult with her medication, according to the charts. It was certainly a nice way of putting “threatened to feed a nurse to her hyenas”. Thus you had extras of her medications, and were told to get one of the guards to administer a sedative if she refused to take the medicine willingly. After a few tries being polite, most nurses would opt to either have Harley sedated or restrained while working with her. It was the first time in a while that she hadn’t been strapped up for med time.

At first, she simply watched you when you entered the room. She let her opponent make the first move, as a bit of a courtesy. 

“Miss Quinzel” you said “I have your medication here for you to take”

“It’s Doctor, actually. If you’re playing the polite game, you should use the right titles” Harley responded.

“I do believe your record states your medical license has been suspended due to your… condition” you reply. 

“Yes, yes, of course, but I didn’t spend all that time studying for nothing. I earned that doctor in front of my name, so you’d better use it.”

“Of course, Dr.Quinzel. I have your medication here for you”.

“And why should I take those little pills, hm? What if they’re tryin’ to poison me?”

“Aren’t you immune to poison?”

She laughed at that. “Alright, I see the new doctor here has looked at my file. Did your research. Tell me, what else do you know about me? D’ya know my body count? My other body count?”

“I just know the information that was on your file, Miss- I mean, Doctor Quinzel”. 

“Well, maybe we’ll get to know eachother better” Harley stated a bit suggestively.

“Would you take your meds please, Doctor Quinzel?” you asked.

Harley wasn’t certain what to do. On one hand, you were treating her like a real person, and Harley desperately didn’t want to lose that. On the other hand, as soon as she took her meds, you’d be gone- plus she really didn’t want to take her meds. They made her feel nauseous for the first hour after taking them. A normal side effect, she knew, but taking her meds was by far the worst part of her day.

But looking at you, Harley felt the urge to play along. She wanted to see you smile. Would you smile if she took her medicine? She hoped so. And wasn’t your smile worth being a little sick for an hour or so? 

She swallowed the pills in the little paper cup. 

“Thank you” you said with a smile. She loved that smile of yours, she wished she could lock it up in a box and carry it with her forever. It was perfect- you were perfect. But Arkham was dangerous for perfect people like you- people with hope and kindness. She decided right then and there that she needed to protect you, to keep you so absolutely perfect for her.

The next day, she had waited for you to arrive with her medications. She had spent all day excited for your presence. There wasn’t much else to do at Arkham, so she daydreamed about how to make the most of the few minutes you spent together. She fantasized about spending it with her arms wrapped around you, her head on your chest listening to your heartbeat. That was impossible with the glass between you two, but a gal can dream can’t she? But when the door opened, someone else was there. 

“You’re a different face- where’s the one who was here yesterday” Harley snarled at the strange nurse.

“On another rotation- now take your meds” said the other nurse, thrusting the meds into Harley’s face.

“No, no. I don’t want those pills- I want the ones that the doctor brings me”

“Doctor?”

“The person who came by yesterday.”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about. Besides, your prescription hasn’t changed. They’re the same exact pills”

“They’re completely different.” Harley argued back. Of course they were the same exact pills, but Harley wasn’t above being petty with this argument. She didn’t want to take the pills if they weren't from you. 

Fourty minutes of arguments later, the nurse left, and came back with two guards. Two knocked-out guards later, and the nurse returned with you. 

“Doctor Quinzel?” you called out, entering the room. You spotted the two knocked out guards, and a shiver went down your spine. The other nurse hadn’t warned you about what Harley had been up to- only stating that Harley wanted to see you, and needed to take her meds.

“If it isn’t my favorite doctor” Harley called out. “I missed you, you know?”

“I’m not a doctor,” you replied. “Just a psychiatric medical assistant. And did you hurt these people?”

“They’ll be over it in the morning, promise. I didn’t want to scare you with any dead bodies, you know.”

“Doctor Quinzel, why did you-”

“I’m sorry!” Harley sobbed “I just got so scared without you. Please don’t abandon me- please please please. I promise I’ll be good, just don’t leave me hanging again.”

You weren’t expecting her to break out into tears. “What do you mean, Doctor Quinzel?”

“I-I-I waited all day for you to come, and you left me for some other patients!”

So the murder clown had abandonment issues. Who would’ve guessed? 

“Fine, fine. Will you take your medications now, Doctor?” you offered her the exact same medicine cup as the ones Harley had previously slapped to the floor, and Harley gladly took them from you. 

“Of course” she said, swallowing her pills nicely. She hoped that would make you smile, but your expression hadn’t changed. 

“You can’t be attacking people like that, Doctor Quinzel. They just want to help you” you said, trying to reassure her. Harley however, knew they didn’t care the way that you did. You were the only one who really did want her to get better. The others couldn’t care less. They gave her the pills out of fear- fear of the danger she posed without them. That or an automatic sense of duty. That automatic response- apathy- was worse than fear. You could see it in a person’s eyes, like the light that could have been there was gone. 

It was one of the things Harley liked about Joker back in the day. His eyes were bright with purpose. Joker was a contradiction- he never really cared about the world, and yet he lived with such a strong sense of purpose. You were different. You shined with care, wanting to make the city better. It reminded Harley of herself, well before she became Harley Quinn. You were a shining light in the darkness of Gotham.

And Harley became more and more worried that the darkness would engulf you. She felt like she needed you closer, she needed to protect you, to save you. 

It wasn’t hard convincing her psychiatrist that she needed you to be by her side more often. You were the medical assistant that she could actually trust, the one that she would listen to. You were like a security blanket to her- as she convinced the psychiatrist to put it- she felt safe around you, and feeling safe made her less violent. It wasn’t long before the doctors realized that for any procedure with Harley, she would be more cooperative if you were by her side. Thus, your job description shifted from “General Psychiatric Medical Assistant” to “Psycho Clown’s Therapy Dog”. Thus for most of Harley’s treatments and procedures, you’d be right there by her side, keeping her sane. The light in her darkness. 

Of course, Arkham was understaffed. You couldn’t spend every single moment of your work day with Harley, as much as she wanted that. There were other patients that needed to be tended to. Unfortunately, Harley was kept away from the other patients due to her “violent tendencies”, so she couldn’t watch you with the others. She was kept in a cell all by herself, meaning that whenever you were away, she’d be alone with nothing but her thoughts of you. 

Thus she needed to be on her best behavior to convince the doctors that she was getting better. She would take her medicine, she’d comply with the treatments, she’d do everything perfectly. You made her better, can’t you see that?  When the doctors finally agreed to let her mingle with the other patients, she was so excited. Sure she was kept in a straight jacket the whole time, but it was all worth it so she could watch you.

Soon after Harley was let out a bit more, you noticed the other inmates of Arkham being quite a bit nicer to you. They’d comply with your requests to take their medicine, they wouldn’t harass you anymore (in fact, the ones who used to be a bit more difficult for you to deal with ended up injured randomly). For some reason, a few of them seemed to fear you. 

Harley still didn’t like that you weren’t there every single day for her. She didn’t like it when you’d go home in the evenings, and she certainly didn’t like spending her nights alone. She wished you’d stay with her, or take her with you. 

Which is why she was so devastated when you mentioned leaving Arkham to go to Graduate School. 

“Sugar, why’s that stuffy old college so important to ya anyway?” Harley asked you.

“I want to make the world a better place, help people like you, Harley”. You had started calling her Harley after she requested it. “Besides, I can’t stay a simple assistant forever”. 

“So you’re just gonna leave me here alone?”

“You’ll be fine Harley, the doctors will take care of you. I want to further my studies in psychology, and I kind of need to go to college to do that”. 

So Harley formulated a plan to keep you by her side. 

It took a fair bit of work to convince you to keep working at Arkham while attending Graduate School. Harley, like the good friend she was, helped you with your applications. Of course, she helped you the most with applications for schools in Gotham. You ended up getting accepted, and enrolled in the most prestigious of Gotham’s psychology departments. It helped that you had such extensive work experience with Arkham. She convinced you to keep working with her, gaining some “first hand experience working with a real life nutcase” as she put it. Thus your job at Arkham changed again. You no longer saw any other patients (much to Harley’s elation). You were to work with Harley exclusively during the night, and go to school during the day. It worked well for you, considering that the damage done to Doctor Quinzel did not impact her extensive knowledge of psychology. She would help you study, offering her professional insight on your courses. 

But attending psychology classes, you came to realize that your relationship with Harley was… problematic. Thus, with the assistance of your professors, you designed a new research project: freeing Harley of her dependency on you. 

“Harley, would you be okay if I wasn’t here tomorrow?”

“Sugar, why would you even suggest such a thing?”

“Well, I was thinking of having an extra day off, you know, just having a ‘me’ day”. 

“That sounds like an absolute blast! You should do that here some time, sugar, I’d love to spend the day relaxing with you”

“That’s just the thing, Harley, I want to spend it alone”

“Uh huh”

“That means without you”

“No- no way! You can’t leave me here, sugar! I’d be so lonely without you. You know I need your sweetness in my life, hon.”

“Harley, that isn’t healthy. You need to be able to handle being by yourself-”

“No.” She shouted, her tone suddenly far more serious. “You will never leave me- got that sugar? You can never ever get away, I’ll never let you go.” She grabbed your arm, clawing into it with her nails. “We’re together, forever, honey.”

Your eyes widened in terror. 

“Now how would you like this macaroni necklace I made just for you?” she said sweetly, as though she hadn’t just threatened you. 

When you didn’t show up for work the next day, Harley was very worried. Had she really made you that scared? Sure, she might’ve threatened you a little bit, and maybe her grasp left a couple little scratches on your arm, but she didn’t mean to. She’d never hurt you. Never never never. You were her sugar, she’d do anything for you. Just ask, and she’d do it- no questions. Who do you want her to kill? Just say the name and they’re gone, sugar, she’d do it all for you. Please don’t leave her, you can do anything you want to her, but you can’t leave her. You have no reason to leave- your good friend Harley will take care of everything for you. 

No, you wouldn’t leave her. You were her perfect sugar, you’d never abandon her like that. You wanted her to be better, you made her better. She was trying to get better for you, and she was trying very very hard. It was difficult, especially when you would talk to the security guards and your attention would be on them and not her, and then her head would rush with all the different ways she could make sure those worthless guards wouldn’t steal your attention away from her ever again. But she wouldn’t touch them, because it would make you so disappointed and sad to see them get hurt, even if Harley knew that they were nothing compared to you. She couldn’t bear to make you sad.

So why weren’t you there? It had already been twenty minutes past when you were supposed to arrive, and you weren’t there by her side. What if someone hurt you? What if one of Joker’s men got to you, and was about to shove you into one of the chemical vats. That would change you forever, and she’d lose her precious sugar, Harley couldn’t have that, no. Or what if something worse happened- what if you were shot, and dyin’ in the streets, all while Harley was locked up in here unable to protect you? What if you were trapped in the old abandoned well, crying out for someone to come save you, only for no one to be there because Harley was locked up in here? No, no, no. Harley couldn’t have that, she couldn’t lose you. 

Breaking out of Arkham was easy- she had done it before plenty of times. Finding your house was even easier, of course she knew where you lived, as though she didn’t know everything about her precious sugar. She found you lying in bed, sleeping through a horrible fever. Harley breathed a sigh of relief- you were okay, you were safe. She climbed through your window, watching you as you slept. You were perfect, ya know that? And finally, finally she was right here by your side. She reached out her hand- gently brushing up against your leg. So soft, so peaceful, so perfect.

You woke up, your mind a bit foggy due to your sickness, with a psycho clown wrapped around you. She held your body tightly, her head resting on your chest. 

“Harley?” you asked. 

“Yes, sugar?”

“What are you doing in my house”?

“Aw, just lying next to my sweet sugar.”

“Yeah, but shouldn’t you be back at Arkham?” 

“Yeah, but I like it here, with you.” She nuzzled against your chest, squeezing you tighter into her embrace.

It took a few minutes to notice the blood all over Harley- blood that she had smeared onto your own body. “Harley- what did you do?” you said, the shock stirring you from your fever induced haze.

“What I had to, darling. I needed you with me, safe and by my side.”

“But you can’t kill people, Harley!”

“I’m sorry, sugar. I was just so scared, lots of bad people are out there in Gotham. Anything could happen to ya, and I just couldn’t stand the thought of you getting hurt or dyin’ on me, so I had to come out and keep you safe. I won’t let anything happen to you, trust me. I love you so much, sugar. So, so much.”