#struggling to speak

[adhbabey]

Artic Spectrum, High Artic, Low Artic and No Artic

What is the artic spectrum? Artic is short for "articulation", the loss of articulation in this sense, is similar to the loss of speech, and varies between many different people for many different reasons. I have coined this term as a replacement for "nonverbal", as those communities do not wish speaking people to use that term. This term is for any person who experiences some type of speech loss, struggle or any other form of loss of communication. This term is not meant to speak over any nonverbal person, and is instead to give a word to those who fall outside of non-speaking, yet cannot speak all the time, for whatever reason.

What does the artic spectrum encompass? Anyone who has varying levels of articulation, and for some, that may change depending on the day, month, whatever. These terms are especially made for systems who have alters who cannot speak, vocalize or articulate, while other members of the system can. But anyone can use them, and you can use these terms depending on how you feel, according to the day.

Why call it "artic"? I was searching for terms that are simple, yet easy to understand and vocalize. I felt the definition of articulation, the formation of clear and distinct sounds in speech, to be appropriate towards coining a new term. Artic does not mean the same exact thing, but it means to be an umbrella term for those who can speak sometimes, but not all the time, for whatever reason. So a fluid spectrum to making noise to not being able to make any, I find this term appropriate.

High Artic Flag

html color codes: FFDDA1, F9AF82, D7595B, AE3861

Warm colors are meant to represent the ability to vocalize as much as one wants. Such things, as hot soup or tea, are meant as a cure for things like a sore throat. Its only appropriate that the flag colors are warm.

This term is meant for a day or period of time where you feel vocal and ready to speak, perhaps even hyperverbal. Some people may feel this more than others. Some alters, may be more on the high artic, than low.

Low Artic Flag

html color codes: D4EFFC, C0CDF0, 66ABCB, 4775B8

Cold colors are reminiscent of the arctic, which reminds me of this word. And when you're cold, you may stutter or struggle to speak, so that's how this feels like. You just can't seem to warm up your vocal cords, no matter how hard you try.

This term is meant for those who often struggle to speak, only able to get a few words or sounds out, whether its the full person or an alter. You may even feel like its hard to speak your native language. But as these terms are fluid, it can be depending on day to day, but it doesn't have to be.

No Artic Flag

html color codes: EBDEFA, BDCDE4, 614A96, 423454

There isn't a super specific reason why it's purple, but the colors in the flag are almost black and white, along with an icy cold blue. The icy blue is supposed to be a call back to the low artic flag, if you don't have any artic, you are in the low category anyway. I felt the deep dark purple, was almost black. If you can't speak, for whatever reason, it may feel suffocating like the color black. Or empty, void of noise, like the color white.

This is meant for people who lose speech entirely for a period of time, or has an alter who cannot speak at all. This can happen during stressful moments, this can be because of a specific disorder, this can happen due to anxiety, really any sort of way. Loss of speech is scary, but you can use this term to help communicate that.

You can also refer to yourself as "non artic", if you'd like.

Artic Spectrum Flag

html color codes: C4D8C3, B0E6D4, 68A292, 3C8A8A

Green is a neutral color between warm and cool. So it's appropriate that the spectrum would be neutral to both.

This term of artic spectrum is meant for someone like me, who grew up in intensive speech therapy, and has alters with varying levels of verbality, so developing different parts of me, meant that some of us can speak better than others. Some of us can barely speak at all. So, if you've had a similar experience, or just need terms like this to describe your experience, go for it. It's good to have a way to communicate something that you feel like you haven't been able to. Especially if your speech loss is fluid, or from alter to alter, like mine. It's meant for anyone who has varying levels of speech, especially if you don't know why. These terms are for you.

Please be kind, and this is for people who feel like other terms are a mouthful, but don't know an easy way to describe their experience. Speech is complex, especially if you grew up not knowing the right way to. Or if you have a speech impediment, like me. And if you can't pronounce this right, no worries, you can just make an emoji or type it down, or something. Or you can just say it differently and that's completely fine. I hope this works for those who need it.

[whumpetywhump]

The Defected - Ep. 28

[patolemus]

It’s very humbling when you’re reading a book —part of a trilogy, very acclaimed— and the only thing you can think of is ‘the fanfic I read the other day was better’

[mysterycitrus]

what tim drake means: ive been watching u my whole life. i wanted to be u. i upheld u on an inhuman pedestal that was maybe unfair to the both of us. i want u to do the impossible. whatever happens, i won’t look away.

what comes out of tim drake’s mouth: watching ur parents die was very difficult for me personally

[sunny-knight]

“Don’t… don’t tell him you think dingbat fonts are cool.”

AUGH @forgettable-au fanart :3 been on another roll with it (in agony constantly)

theres some untranslated wingdings cause i love translating it myself, hope others do too :D

not confident on how “canon” or in-character this is but- I HAD FUN this AU has really got me in the rendering spirit, I really enjoy taking inspiration but also adding mu own silly twists on it and AAA everything looks even more tasty now

I view this as them in New Home after getting something to eat (after the last page update) and heading back the same way since Alphys’ place is on the way to The Lab. The font convo comes back up again and then yeah

Alsoooo if youre interested in behind the scenes stuff heres the speedpaint :3

also i never poster about this- but i had another forgettable dream. it didn’t make any godamn sense. I woke up and drew the only scene I could remember:

Wingdings and Sans had a fight and ig wingdings killed Sans 😭😭😭 in a stairwell for some reason

and current Sans, Papyrus brother Sans, is like watching all of this and was brought here by Lancer like a Ghost Of Christmas Past type situation. Idk why. I choose not to attempt to make sense of this anymore. But i swear this is an actual dream i had 😭

[deerspherestudios]

HI! TYSM FOR ANSWERING MY LAST QUESTION, it honestly made me so so happy- BUT THIS ONE JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD ! <3

Okay so...Laika is vidas dog, and I noticed Laika wears a galaxy-themed bandana around her neck, I'm wondering if this is a reference to the space dog Laika? If it is that is so adorable 😭😭 this honestly popped in my head and I can't get it out now-

If it wasn't obvious enough, yes!

It's very subtle but I meant it as a way to show Vida's fascination with space. I never answered what their major was, but I think they would've gone on to study astronomy.

Also their frisbee was based off this image from the Atacama Large Millimeter Array (ALMA) telescope. I just thought it was a neat pattern and slapped it on. Plus,,,, ALMA.

[mistchievous]

True suffering.

[konigsblog]

cuddle sex with könig.

könig likes to hold you in his strong arms to hold you tightly and bury his face in the crook of your neck, or preferably, between your soft thighs.

he breathes in the sweetness of your familiar, comforting scent, the perfume on your neck and the lingering scent of your arousal smeared across könig's lengthy slick, hung cock. you're seated comfortably on his large lap with thrill rushing through your weakened body, too exhausted to continue bouncing with his burly and muscular arms wrapped around your form, holding you close as your heartbeat thumps and slams against your sternum. you begin to weakly and painfully attempt to bounce up and down on könig's weeping length until you're nothing but a pathetic, creamy mess with sticky thighs.

“quit squirming’, hase. i know you’ve got the strength somewhere in you, or do i have to use that sweet cunt for my own benefit and enjoyment?”

könig lays back against the mattress, forcing you to lay against his sturdy chest and listen to the soothing rhythm of his quickening heartbeat and the noise of his laborious, heavy breathing. he begins to slowly jerk his broad hips skywards into you while cuddling into you, holding you tightly in his arms to keep you protected and to ensure that you won't be able to squirm away out of his tight grasp. you begin to pant and heave when you feel könig's sensitive tip rub against your gummy and velvety cervix, gasping out when he begins to quicken his rough pace and buck skyward into your tight rear repeatedly, filling your swollen, soft folds with globs and strings of his stickiness, oozing out from your tight slit.

könig ploughs his hung, meaty cock into your adorable cunt, gushing about how tight and warm you are while you're drooling all down his veiny, lengthy shaft.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what

[traumasurvivors]

It's okay if certain popular positive phrases don't sit right with you.

Maybe you see "Holding onto hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" and the message makes you feel guilty, or wrong for feeling hate or anger towards the person who hurt you.

Maybe you see "People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated" and it makes you feel guilty for the trauma you endured. Maybe it makes you feel like you didn't do enough and don't deserve to be upset. Maybe it makes you feel bad because you're in a situation where it isn't safe or feasible to get away or set boundaries with the people in your life who do treat you poorly.

Maybe you see "No one can love you until you love yourself first" and you feel terrible. Like no one can ever love you because loving yourself is such an impossible goal at the moment.

It's really okay if certain phrases you see spreading don't sit right with you. They help some people, and that's really valid, but you aren't wrong or a failure if they don't help you. We all have different needs, and no post is ever going to help or be right for everyone.

You are still valid. It's okay to need to hear different things. So, I'll say this to those of you that want or need to hear it.

It's okay to hate the people who hurt you. It's okay to be angry at them. While there are healthier ways to handle your feelings than others, no feeling is inherently bad. And it is okay and valid to feel these things. In a lot of cases, feeling these things is a step in healing because you've realized that they're who you should be mad at instead of yourself. And I think that's great. I think there comes a point when your anger is hurting you, but the emotion itself is okay to feel and can be used in productive ways.

I also want to say that no matter what, it isn't okay for people to treat you poorly. You never deserve it. And it's okay to have complicated feelings. It's okay to feel like you have nothing but bad choices. Sometimes the choice with less consequences is dealing with bad treatment until we can safely or realistically get away from that person. Sometimes you just aren't ready. And I get it, and while I hope you can get away or set boundaries eventually, you don't deserve the treatment just because you aren't in a place to do that now.

And people can absolutely love you if you don't love yourself. I am not at a point in my healing where I love myself. Truthfully, I don't know if I ever will be. I reached for self-neutrality instead of self-love, and it helps. And I know that I am beyond loved by certain people in my life.

It's okay to have different goals, needs, and ways we cope.

[kermit-coded]

one thing i love in how murph plays riz's asexuality is that he sees his friends being horny as something wrong with them, not something he himself lacks. his constant "why is everyone so horny all the time" is hilarious to me.

[kasieli]

Hear me out: MC and Seb exploring the underwater caves together

[velvetpantylines]

You’ve heard of He Would Not Fucking Say That. Now get ready for: He Would Not Fuck Like That

[david-talks-sw]

Dooku didn't leave because of the Jedi.

At least, if you're going by George Lucas' word.

In deleted scenes of Attack of the Clones, when we learn about Dooku's departure and his values, there's no mention of the Jedi or "the Jedi Order as an institution".

And every time Lucas refers to Dooku's disenchantment and reason for falling, he doesn't mention the Jedi.

"When you realize that Dooku is Darth Tyranus, it explains what Darth Sidious did after Darth Maul was killed: he seduced a Jedi who had become disenchanted with the Republic. He preyed on that disenchantment and converted him to the dark side, which is also a setup for what happens with Anakin." - Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of Attack of the Clones, 2002

"[Dooku is] one of the few Jedi who became disenchanted with the Republic and left the order and he is leading a separatist movement." - Vanity Fair, 2002

"I wanted a more sophisticated kind of villain. Dooku’s disenchantment with the corruption in the Empire is actually valid. It’s all valid.  So, Chris plays it as, 'Is he really a villain or is he just someone who is disenchanted and trying to make things right?'" - Starlog Magazine #300, 2002

He probably meant the Republic/Senate in that last one, but you get the point. And you're seeing the pattern, right?

Dooku's problem isn't the Jedi, it's the Republic.

He's become disenchanted with a system that - according to Lucas' prologue in the 2004 book Shatterpoint - worked for 1,000 years...

"For a thousand years, the Old Republic prospered and grew under the wise rule of the Senate and the protection of the venerable Jedi Knights."

... but has been rendered ineffective because of 1) senators becoming corrupt and 2) corporations gaining political power.

"But as often happens when wealth and power grow beyond all reasonable proportion, an evil fueled by greed arose. The massive organs of commerce mushroomed in power, the Senate became corrupt, and an ambitious named Palpatine was voted Supreme Chancellor."

That's the message Dooku runs on, when he rallies the systems to form the Separatist Alliance.

"By promising an alternative to the corruption and greed that was rotting the Republic from within, Dooku was able to persuade thousands of star systems to secede from the Republic."

The Jedi aren't really a factor in his decision to leave.

Why would they be? Their political status isn't very high, they're virtually powerless, as illustrated by the film's narrative and stated repeatedly by Lucas.

On the contrary, as we already established in this post, Lucas full-on confirmed that Dooku actually carries the sympathies of most of the Jedi. Again:

Most Jedi agree with Dooku, ideologically.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, the politicians are effing up the Republic, and it sucks because the Jedi see this but aren't allowed to interfere in the political process. They have to resort to looking for loopholes in their mandates to actually get stuff done.

That's what that whole "she's a politician" scene is meant to hint at. In the commentary of Attack of the Clones, Lucas uses a similar turn of phrase as he does with Dooku.

"[This scene gives us] a chance to talk a little bit about politics and the Jedi’s disenchantment with the political process, due to the corruption and the ineffectiveness of the Senate." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

Considering all this, it becomes clear that the intended narrative surrounding Dooku's decision to leave the Order is not:

"The Jedi are dogmatic and asleep at the wheel except for Dooku, who is ahead of the curb and sees the system is flawed, so he left."

It's actually:

"ALL Jedi see the system is flawed, Dooku's the only Jedi who decided to take it a step further and leave the Order so he can try to get into politics himself and change things."

That's why they hesitate to accuse him of murder.

That's why in an earlier draft of the Attack of the Clones script, by the end of the second act, Mace STILL has his doubts that Dooku would sign a treaty with the Trade Federation to attack the Republic.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, Dooku is out there fighting the good fight, making noise because whenever they try to protest it falls on deaf ears... until his betrayal on Geonosis.

After all, let's not get it twisted: the Dooku we're introduced to in the films and The Clone Wars, isn't really just Dooku anymore.

He's Darth Tyranus.

A point Lucas makes sure to highlight in his Shatterpoint prologue:

"Unbeknownst to most of his followers, Dooku was himself a Dark Lord of the Sith, acting in collusion with his master, Darth Sidious, who, over the years, had struck an unholy alliance with the greater forces of commerce and their private droid armies."

It's not about doing the selfless thing for Dooku, anymore. He's knowingly part of the problem.

He's all about ambition, now. His personal goals are things like overthrowing Sidious and becoming the most powerful Jedi.

"[Anakin's] ambition and his dialogue here is the same as Dooku’s. He says “I will become more powerful than every Jedi.” And you’ll hear later on Dooku will say “I have become more powerful than any Jedi.” [...] It is possible for a Jedi to want to become more powerful, and control things." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

"If you put two Sith together, they try to get others to join them to get rid of the other Sith. [When revealing the truth to Obi-Wan], Dooku's ambition is really to get rid of Darth Sidious. He's trying to get Obi-Wan's assistance in that and help in that, so that he and Obi-Wan could overthrow Sidious and take over." - Attack of the Clones, Commentary Track 2, 2002

Y'know? Selfish things.

Dooku - like all other Sith, and like the very corporations and Senators he had sworn to destroy - is consumed by his own greed.

[cozylittleartblog]

happy neil bangin' out the tunes everyone

[meamiiikiii]

today's word is anonymity. the state of being anonymous. it is a hard word to say.