#sry for the vent for anyone who read this.

[ifeelsosillyy]

I am going to negativly affect the nuber of people on this planet by myself. (Kms)

[everythingwasnormalhere]

guys yall helped me popularize chronic pain kinny can y'all help me popularize redchole now?

[binders-and-beanies]

.

[secretlyanimmortal]

Yan! Classmate

> tiny note: would swearing count as a warning? it's prtty light too > ~ ms. Chari

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> Remember your first day in middle school? First impressions to new classmates are important! People always said that you give respect to be respected so you waved to your new classmates with a smile. But didn't you know you've sealed your fate the day you walked into that classroom?

> You were so sweet to everyone! Giving free notes you had, sharing stories to relate to people, and even talking to the quiet kids during break so they wouldn't feel left out! > That's at least how you've met him, scribbling on his notebook with stanzas and counting the syllables to his poems. You helped him find a friend group too, joining the literature club, and even making hangouts for you and his friends. > You've even helped in his homeworks and quizzes and he grew in popularity. The school basically knew you guys as a duo till high school. The tight-knit friend duo. > Yeah, but it's high school- what do you think was gonna happen? purely platonic???

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> "Just a friend"? Yeah right! Have you seen how his voice is more gentle when you're near? or how his eyes look at you softer than any other person he's met? You were cute too > It all changed when this one guy- wait how did he get your details? did you like this stranger? he isn't even from our school! why would you even interact with a weirdo-

> He's being distant from you, weird. Hey, at least he has a friend group he talks to, right? Even the teachers were asking you where your best friend was at this point, maybe he's just having a hard day. or week, or month.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> You felt eyes staring directly into your soul, maybe you did something wrong? Seen after seen message- you felt incomplete without your buddy. > No worries! you have many friends- why are they ignoring you too- what's with the whispering when you walk? the peering eyes and the scowls on their faces when you smile past- this is getting too out of hand > One day, you were chatting with the guy that got your number, when your best friend classmate texted you. > Heyo dudez! whats up? > is it true? > wahts tru? > that you've been sharing school secrets to another school? > wtf NO!!!! whu would sy that??? > nothing, it's just that ur probably gonna get reported next week to the principal > wait who said that i was sharing anything?

> Hello??? dude.... is that why everyone is ignoring me?

> ??? hellO??!?!??#

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> Turns out, you've been the perfect victim to be framed of sharing private school information since you've been talking to that guy from another school. > You beg the principal, showing all of your messages even, yet they didn't believe you. Who would be this good at knowing how you chat? Why would anyone want you to be suspended anyways? > Great, now you're forced into your room, crying with your knees to your chest. Your parents didn't even care anymore- they just said you were grounded (they didn't even take your phone). > It's fine, you can talk to- wait why was he ignoring your calls? maybe he was having a festival at his school or a- > Oh he blocked you... > Well- now your alone. Stuck in your room for two weeks, your social life and battery completely destroyed, and your reputation ruined. > DING! > Yo are ya doing okay? heard u were suspended. > I can stay with u if you're not doing okay, u can vent to me

꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ > hhhhhhhgggggg should i even make a prt 2 for this? i haven't finished prt 2 for my yan!rival yet > rlly sry every1!!! im too busy Q-Q > ty for reading!! > ms. Chari out!

[ca-suffit]

Sam-reid reblogging posts from nalyra and accusing marius haters of having "surface level takes" is rich. She ignores everything about this blog (your blog which I love!) and deems to punish viewers for not being comfortable with a known pedophile rapist in a book. It's blogs like hers which make me glad to my bones that I'm not part of this fandom any longer. I get chills from the absolute hatred radiating from users like her and nalyra and oh the reciepts you posted about formerly Neilcfreak? I felt sick reading how she lashed out at that black fan who tried to explain to her about A03 and its policies. But sam-reid is a special brand of ignorance and cold indifference towards black fans and fans who have problems with certain areas of the books. She looks down on anyone who doesn't love every word of the books. If she's ok with grooming and rape more power to her; but she so arrogantly asserts that the ONLY reason someone might have problems with topics of RAPE AND GROOMING esp through a lens of pedophilia is because of surface level takes?!

Yikes. BIG YIKES. How someone can be so SURFACE LEVEL IGNORANT is frightening.

She seems to think only in fictional world terms because in the real world, rape happens frequently. Grooming happens daily. So for her to assert that the ONLY reason someone might have issues with a character is because of SURFACE LEVEL TAKES speaks volumes of what kind of human being she is.

Marius triggers victims of rape and grooming for very real reasons, as fiction tends to do, as reading tends to do. That's why we read, and that's why fiction affects us so DEEPLY. So while insensitive and callous racists like sam-reid use SURFACE LEVEL reasons to judge us, the rest of us will be over here, avoiding surface level jerks like sam-reid, on your blog as a safe place. ❤

hi and thank u for ur comment<3

Let me repost a link to the neilcfreak / gorrei / rei thing in case anyone needs to know the context, bcuz this is an important thing to know for ppl engaging with her. This just happened in 2023.

Anyway, I'm glad it feels safe here. I'm always happy to talk about this stuff or let ppl vent about it. The books *are* v triggering and most of the fandom will not talk about it, which doesn't help anyone tbh.

I'm gonna answer most of this under a cut bcuz of the topics, but let me clarify some stuff first. Anyone mentioned here is mentioned for a reason. There's been a real increase on complaints about sam-reid lately, so I hope she's rly paying attention and not just thinking everyone is saying this for no reason. Ppl get harmed when u have a big voice in the fandom and u say things like this and turn ppl against others who are more vulnerable than u, especially when it comes to real trauma issues? I'm gonna get into this more under the cut but just to clarify that this isn't some silly thing or personal bitching about someone for no reason. I don't have any thoughts about sam-reid as a person, idk them beyond posts here. But this same attitude is across all of the big fandom ppl and it trickles down to hurting everyone, which is a big reason why this account is even here.

(I posted these screenshots smaller together but they won't save like that so sry they post long like this)

I'd also like to say that monstersinthecosmos runs with the og white woman fandom bullies from before the show aired. The fact that the same usernames show up supporting each other all the time is never surprising tbh.

Anyway TW for trauma, CSA, abuse

Everyone handles trauma differently, so a lot of what I've seen from the fandom over the years is ppl who handle it like this ^^ insisting it's the only "correct" way bcuz they can't look at it any other way, yet or maybe ever. Since Marius is so tied to childhood sexual abuse, it's always made sense bcuz a) a lot of ppl read these books as kids and b) Anne Rice wrote things in a way that romanticizes abuse. If u have never looked at the characters and/or ur own abuse as an adult, then here we are. Everything is fiction, everything is fun, nothing needs to be "real." Bcuz abused kids disconnect from abuse that same way. Some ppl stay there forever.

I'm not shaming that either. U can't dictate how ppl move thru abuse and trauma. We all do what we do. Everyone who comes into the IWTV / VC stories however it happens prbly comes from trauma. It just sucks that Anne Rice inspired such a dogshit view of the world in ppl that a group that's already ripe for infighting (traumatized ppl) gets made worse bcuz she taught everyone to be loud and wrong and then louder and more wrong. Don't ever look at ur own actions, just shout ppl down!!

The reason ppl tend to dislike book ppl is bcuz nothing is ever discussed. There's this simultaneous mindset of "I'm v smart" but also "I'm never gonna talk in depth about anything." Everyone can see this but u can't ever get *them* to see it. Conversations are impossible. Then they constantly talk down on others like this to keep everything hostile. They have to be "right," so playing up as if their perspective is the only true one and acting as if criticism of Anne Rice or the books is "so mean" bcuz of misogyny or ppl lacking media literacy or "don't they know they're all monsters lol" is the only thing they know how to do.

Traumatized ppl don't like to feel stupid, ignored, and dismissed. These big voices don't come from nothing. A lot of the vampires in the books reflect real responses to trauma, both in their personalities and how they move around each other. We also reflect that. I wish ppl could learn from that more. Unfortunately, we're prbly always gonna be in two camps about it. That's why this fandom tends to remain small no matter how big anything gets. Those who want to speak more on these themes and explore abuse tend to leave, or at least leave a lot of public spaces, bcuz these ppl have set up to always take in new recruits and bully ppl in groups. They're a small number of fans tbh, in all reality, they just look bigger bcuz they work together to build that illusion. They don't individually have the strength to get attention on their own so they gather together to reference each other a lot, recommend each other to whoever (which has now extended to cast and crew as well), and get in more spaces. Then they get to feel more "important" and soothe all the childhood trauma of nobody noticing them then, but doesn't everyone notice them now? Except look at what u did to get there. They don't care tho, everyone they've stepped over is just a "hater" or w/e.

This is why it's crucial to examine these characters and then reflect on urself too and ask if maybe ur the fucking villain sometimes. The answer will surprise u!

[mes0p0tamia]

How the Vessels Would Comfort Someone (maybe you..? idk that's for you to decide) After a Breakup/emotionally traumatic situation etc.

the lovely @callmemephistopheless requested I write this <3. I usually don't like to write x reader stuff so it could be x reader if you feel like reading it that way; (it's more focused on the boys and their reactions than who they're comforting sry) but I just couldn't refuse a good idea and a request from a friend. fr though writing this kind of stuff will defiantly help improve my writing and help me improve my characterization of the boys in other works (Also it really warms my heart to have people suggesting ideas, so if you have any, I would absolutely LOVE to hear them. please.). Enjoy!

the nature of the relationship between the vessels and the person (or self-insert) is totally up to you btw

Vessel

obviously, vessel would not be very good at comforting people. the only person worse at it is ii. look at him Hes all fucked up!

He used to be worse at it, but ever since he became sleep's Vessel vulnerability has been easier. He's now more comfortable being vulnerable around others and knows how relieving it can be to vent and talk about things. So, he encourages people to talk to him about that stuff, especially the other vessels and the worshippers.

He comforts from a place of understanding. It's easy to tell that he is quite uncomfortable (he's new at this be patient he's trying ok) with someone being upset, or crying in front of him, but it's easy to tell that he understands. Heartbreak and vessel are like, besties. he gets it.

he may not give kind words, or reassurance, but he makes sure that it is known that he understands, and that he defiantly cares.

I think he'd either sit with you, or just give you space. He probably wouldn't say anything though.

or maybe he'd just let the person talk at him.

Vessel has been in a lot of pain for the better part of his life, and he wouldn't wish it upon anyone. especially anyone he cares about.

ii

Honest to god, I think ii would either run away or seize and die if someone was crying and wanted comfort from him. Obviously, he means well and doesn't want to see anyone he cares about cry, he's just so goddamn bad at it.

Dude has literally no idea what to do.

It's probable that he'll just throw a box of tissues and a blanket at you and dip.

Being serious though, it stems from a place of having no idea how to deal with his own emotions and being vastly uncomfortable with vulnerability (Vessel and iii are trying their damn best with ii).

Vulnerability and trust are extremely hard for him.

I think he might be the type to make food for people. He doesn't have to talk or be expected to provide calming words; he can just not do all of that, and still show that he cares. And I mean it works, his comfort food is heavenly. It's the type of cooking to make you cry because it's so nice, and the fact that he went out of his way to make something.

either that, or he'd just like.. sit there and stare..? kind of...? he's trying his best ok.

iii

iii ofc is the best at this kind of stuff. he manages to offer advice without being condescending, all while still being comforting (they all have no idea how he does it)

He is they type of person to shoulder everyone's burdens for them. It's a big part of the reason why he looks to sad and tiered all of them time.

Yes, Vessel is better at being vulnerable now because of Sleep, but it's also because of iii.

He just has this aura about him that makes you want to talk about things and spill your guts, because you know that he'll understand. He will not only listen, but he'll comfort you, and give you advice (and does he follow his own advice? hell no but that's not the point-)

This 'talking about feelings stuff', however, does not apply to him in his mind. His feelings are his burden and his alone.

One time the other boys noticed he was having a real bad time after one of the rituals, and just could not get him to talk, so they all sat with him in a big group hug type thing (it was more a pile than a group hug. boy pile!). iii actually broke down, it was bad. He's been better since then.

iv

iv is not very verbal with comfort or communication, it's more a physical thing for him. Words are very hard, so this is his solution.

It's like a 'I'll hug you until you stop crying' deal.

His favorite thing to do is be a giant human weighted blanket and just crush the person under him until they feel better.

He feels like the closer he gets to someone physically, the more they are comforted. This may not be right exactly, but it's his logic so deal with it. It works for him, so it's gotta work for other people, right?

He also like, gets pissed off for people. He's the type to be very protective and care so much for the people he cares about. It's hard for him not to be angry when something like that happens. Especially if someone hurts people he cares about.

He is like a giant guard dog that is bear sized.

And unlike the other vessels, he has no problem being vulnerable, he just forgets about his own issues.

He has internalized his own issues to such an extent that they are not issues anymore, just facts of life; they are just things that happen sometimes. And don't get me wrong, he does have breakdowns and they are bad.

But to him its just like, a thing that happens.

he will have a panic attack and then just 'fuck it we ball' his way through a mental health crisis that he's convincing himself isn't real and totally not happening to him.

[notroadkiller]

SAUDADE !! DEADDOVE VENT FIC

!!THIS WAS ALL A DREAM I HAD, AND ANYTHING SIMILAR TO REAL LIFE EVENTS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THE LIST OF TWS TRIGGERS YOU!!

TW WARNINGS : underage sex (forced), rape/non-con, (forced) stepcest, minor violence , references to murder, references to feeling watched, minor injuries, & grooming. (pls tell me if you'd like me to add anymore to the list, I don't want to be making anyone uncomfortable here)

proshippers and in general ppl who are into this sorta thing are not welcomed on my acc, at all. This was a nightmare I had that genuinely freaked me out, I'm not trying to sexualize these topics and anyone who enjoys doing so will be immediately blocked

Wrote this in one sitting so sry if it's a bit shitty, I just wanted to write the concept down before I lost the motivation to

I'm not sure how it happened, how my life changed so drastically over the span of only a few months.

Or how I ended up coming home from another day at school to be met with the sight of my new stepdad, William Afton. He's sitting on the living room couch, still in his work clothes from the pizzeria, his tie loosened for his comfort, giving off a casual and relaxed aura that doesn't reach his eyes.

He moved in with me and my mom a week ago, but I'm still not used to seeing him. Maybe I'll get used to seeing him eventually, I thought to myself, even though I knew I wouldn't. It's never been that easy for me, there's always something preventing me from letting people into my heart and mind. It's like when I try opening up, thorny vines curl around my Adam's apple, and suddenly I don't want to talk anymore.

To get to the staircase to my room, I have to pass him. As I do so, I feel like there's something digging into my back, like someone's burning holes into me. But I'm too scared to look back, even though it's probably nothing. It's usually nothing.

I make my way upstairs to my bedroom, swinging the door open before walking over to my cozy bed and laying down. My face is burrowed in the blankets, so are my ears, but faintly I can hear the creaking of my bedroom door reopening. I felt the bed suddenly weigh down on the opposite side of me, hands wrapping around my waist, uncomfortably close to an area I didn't want anybody touching. I don't have to open my eyes to know it's him. But I'm too afraid to tell mom, she'll say it's just my anxiety again, that he'd never do that. And maybe she's right, maybe I'm imagining all of this, maybe William's still downstairs watching television on our living room couch. Thus, I fall into an uncomfortable sleep for the day.

I'm not sure how it happened, how my life changed so drastically over the span of only a few months.

Or how I ended up coming home from another day at school to be met with the sight of my new stepdad, William Afton. He's sitting on the living room couch, still in his work clothes from the pizzeria, his tie loosened for his comfort, giving off a casual and relaxed aura that doesn't reach his eyes.

He moved in with me and my mom a week ago, but I'm still not used to seeing him. Maybe I'll get used to seeing him eventually, I thought to myself, even though I knew I wouldn't. It's never been that easy for me, there's always something preventing me from letting people into my heart and mind. It's like when I try opening up, thorny vines curl around my Adam's apple, and suddenly I don't want to talk anymore.

To get to the staircase to my room, I have to pass him. As I do so, I feel like there's something digging into my back, like someone's burning holes into me. But I'm too scared to look back, even though it's probably nothing. It's usually nothing. But there's something in the back of mind telling me something's wrong.

I make my way upstairs to my bedroom, swinging the door open before walking over to my cozy bed and laying down. My face is burrowed in the blankets, so are my ears, but faintly I can hear the creaking of my bedroom door reopening. I felt the bed suddenly weigh down on the opposite side of me, hands wrapping around my waist, uncomfortably close to an area I didn't want anybody touching. I don't have to open my eyes to know it's him again. But I'm too afraid to tell mom, she'll say it's just my anxiety again, that he'd never do that. And maybe she's right, maybe I'm imagining all of this, maybe William's still downstairs watching television on our living room couch.

I feel his warm breath against my ear as he whispers into my ear...

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll spill your fucking guts."

And suddenly his lips are on mine.

I'm not sure how it happened, how my life changed so drastically over the span of only a few months.

Or how I ended up coming home from another day at school to be met with the sight of my new stepdad, William Afton. He's sitting on the living room couch, still in his work clothes from the pizzeria, his tie loosened for his comfort, giving off a casual and relaxed aura that doesn't reach his eyes.

He moved in with me and my mom a week ago, but I'm still not used to seeing him. Maybe I'll get used to seeing him eventually, I thought to myself, even though I knew I wouldn't. It's never been that easy for me, there's always something preventing me from letting people into my heart and mind. It's like when I try opening up, thorny vines curl around my Adam's apple, and suddenly I don't want to talk anymore.

To get to the staircase to my room, I have to pass him. As I do so, I feel like there's something digging into my back, like someone's burning holes into me. But I'm too scared to look back, even though it's probably nothing. It's usually nothing. I feel like this has all happened before.

I make my way upstairs to my bedroom, swinging the door open before walking over to my cozy bed and laying down. My face is burrowed in the blankets, so are my ears, but faintly I can hear the creaking of my bedroom door reopening. I felt the bed suddenly weigh down on the opposite side of me, hands wrapping around my waist, uncomfortably close to an area I didn't want anybody touching. I don't have to open my eyes to know it's him again. But I'm too afraid to tell mom, she'll say it's just my anxiety again, that he'd never do that. And maybe she's right, maybe I'm imagining all of this, maybe William's still downstairs watching television on our living room couch.

Suddenly I'm flipped on to my back, my wrists pinned above my head.

He grins down at me, his canines on display and sharp like knifes.

This has happened before.

I'm not sure how it happened, how my life changed so drastically over the span of only a few months.

Or how I ended up coming home from another day at school to be met with the sight of my new stepdad, William Afton. He's sitting on the living room couch, still in his work clothes from the pizzeria, his tie loosened for his comfort, giving off a casual and relaxed aura that doesn't reach his eyes.

He moved in with me and my mom a week ago, but I'm still not used to seeing him. Maybe I'll get used to seeing him eventually, I thought to myself, even though I knew I wouldn't. It's never been that easy for me, there's always something preventing me from letting people into my heart and mind. It's like when I try opening up, thorny vines curl around my Adam's apple, and suddenly I don't want to talk anymore.

To get to the staircase to my room, I have to pass him. As I do so, I feel like there's something digging into my back, like someone's burning holes into me. But I'm too scared to look back, even though it's probably nothing. It's usually nothing. But this time I know it's definitely not nothing.

I make my way upstairs to my bedroom, swinging the door open before walking over to my cozy bed and laying down. My face is burrowed in the blankets, so are my ears, but faintly I can hear the creaking of my bedroom door reopening. I felt the bed suddenly weigh down on the opposite side of me, hands wrapping around my waist, uncomfortably close to an area I didn't want anybody touching. I don't have to open my eyes to know it's him again. But I'm too afraid to tell mom, she'll say it's just my anxiety again, that he'd never do that. And maybe she's right, maybe I'm imagining all of this, maybe William's still downstairs watching television on our living room couch.

Suddenly I'm flipped on to my back, my wrists pinned above my head.

He grins down at me, his canines on display and sharp like knifes.

His hands caressing my hips and thighs, stroking the insides of them with drool on his lips and darkness in his eyes. I'm just another meal to him, I'm just the prey and he's just the predator.

Why am I repeating myself? No one's listening.

You already know how this story starts, I'm sure of it. I hear my words echoing in my cranium, bouncing off of each other painfully.

I make my way upstairs to my bedroom, swinging the door open before walking over to my cozy bed and laying down. My face is burrowed in the blankets, so are my ears, but faintly I can hear the creaking of my bedroom door reopening. I felt the bed suddenly weigh down on the opposite side of me, hands wrapping around my waist, uncomfortably close to an area I didn't want anybody touching. I don't have to open my eyes to know it's him again. But I'm too afraid to tell mom, she'll say it's just my anxiety again, that he'd never do that. And maybe she's right, maybe I'm imagining all of this, maybe William's still downstairs watching television on our living room couch.

Suddenly I'm flipped on to my back, my wrists pinned above my head.

He grins down at me, his canines on display and sharp like knifes.

His hands caressing my hips and thighs, stroking the insides of them with drool on his lips and darkness in his eyes. I'm just another meal to him, I'm just the prey and he's just the predator.

He whispers something to me once more, but I'm tired.

I'm tired of this limbo.

I'm tired of staying silent.

I try pushing him away, scratching at his arms so he'll let me go. But my nails are too short and my body too weak. I've only fed his desire.

He loves the chase.

He grabs me and pulls me down the staircase, which I try clinging on to. But my nails are too short and my body too weak.

He doesn't care for all the bruises I'm getting, he never did truly care, did he?

We go to the basement, and he throws me in his workshop. The cold tiles covering the floor digging into my elbows, and soon my back when he forces my shirt off.

Then my bra.

Then my pants.

Then my underwear.

Then my socks.

Until I have nothing else to hide from his humiliating gaze.

I hate the way he touches me. The way he talks to me.

I hate this cycle. I hate this torturous situation I find myself stuck in time and time again.

I hate the fact no one bursts through the door to save me like in the movies and books. I hate the way that even if they did, William would just stuff them into one of the many animatronics in the dreary room.

I long to wake up from this nightmare. I long for my innocence back.

Saudade. . .

reposted from my AO3 btw, just in case anyone thinks this is stolen

[illmetbymoonlight]

Just going to throw this out there, and I know this is easier said than done, but you shouldn't care about what other people think about your oc. Who cares if no one else likes our OCs? Do you like your OC? If yes then that's literally the only thing that matters. We make OCs so we can insert them in our favourite things, ship them with our favourite characters, etc. they're purely self indulgent fun! We make them purely for ourselves, not for anyone else. I get where you're coming from, I really do. I used to be the same way about my OCs, I just really wanted them to be "popular". I really wanted people to like my r6 siege oc. But as I got older I realized that, that doesn't matter. And when I stopped caring about it people liked my oc and just started making things for my eyes only, it was a lot more fun. I've written so many little fics for my r6 siege oc, and you know who will see them? Me and me only, because isn't that why we make them? To have fun, to picture little idealized versions of ourselves in these universes and be giddy when we ship them with our favourite characters? As long as you're enjoying what you're making with your oc then that's all that matters.

TL:DR : don't worry so much about whether people like your OCs or not. That sucks the fun out of them and defeats the purpose of why we make them.

Apologies for the wall of text.

Youre right. And this is something I constantly struggle with. Being the kind of person who needs constant validation in every aspect of my life doesn't help.

But also I just want to know that people do like my characters and writing. As someone who wants to be a published author one day it's important to me to get feedback. And lately the lack of feedback feels negative. Like my writing isn't good and I should just forget about ever writing my own original stories. And honestly qhen it's just likes and no reblogs and no comments or feedback the likes feel like nothing. Idk.

If I wanted to get no feedback or attention I wouldn't share my writing. Hell I have A LOT of writing I don't share because no one's interested. I write to share the stories. If I wanted to keep them to myself I wouldn't bother writing them. When I share my writing I want to know what people think. I want to know people enjoyed them. When you don't have a lot of followers (less than 50 active but only ever see interactions from like 10) you rely on those reblogs to get your story seen. I always try to reblog the fics I enjoy on here because I know how important those reblogs are.

A lot of my feelings of disappointment in my lack of interactions from people who read what I've written stems from my dream to be a published writer. But when I see my writing is not good enough to share... it makes that dream less real. If I can write something that people will actually read then I'll never make it as a writer.

Idk. Sry for the vent anon.

[aro-rambles]

im wiping your tears rn and hugging you, its okei <3 [sry if u no want heart emoticon its a habit] me get it, evn if me not reading th vents 4 my sake me get it, even if I dont know your plights I want to give you atleast a lil bit of comfort if I can, it's my job as a dollie to make sure people are happy!! and even outside of that, as someone who kinda had a shit mental breakdown an hour ago I want to make sure anyone whos sad is okeim cuz if you need someone to comfort you but are alone then it hurts a whole lot :< im giving you lil hugs if you dont mind :3

do u like birbs?? :3

thank u <2 I yes I like I like birds they are very silly

[firebreadtroy]

.

I have no idea what's up with my friend right now, like she literally overreacted at me for something that she made NO attempt at conveying

i lost my phone in an uber for a whole ass day got it back and went on about life, she's lost hers for all of 5 minutes in a populated place with honorable people who literally turn in phones all the time. then she goes and tells me she was scared?? of something ??? but ONLY after 40 minutes passed after the fact

i just.. don't understand. after I went to look for her again, I went up to the ONE person who kept her phone for when she would come back for it. he tells me she came and got it, not her after i was literally calling her call after call. like dude... it took me all of 30 seconds to find where your phone was.........

this was supposed to be a nice weekend night out together and it's just... idk. like dude. we're grown ass adults you don't need me to be by you at AN ANIME CONVENTION. you KNEW where I was going and you KNOW WHY I GO in the first place. what was there to be even scared of in the first place??!?! we were at a fucking ANIME CON. who the hell is gonna do something to you at an anime con we've been to how many times before

idk maybe I'm being bitchy right now but jesus fucking christ man, no reason to act like that at. all. telling me I ruined the night by not walking 20 ft to go with her to get her phone. she's tells me I abandoned her by herself. IT WAS 11 O CLOCK DUDE THE CON STILL WAS GONNA GO FOR ANOTHER 3 HOURS. LIKE I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA LEAVE HER THERE.

and like, every other time we go somewhere she always disappears on me to go ask someone for a cigarette and I never say anything. but the moment I say I'm going up to the panel room, that we literally talked about not 3 minutes before, I'm bad person.

"you left me by myself..."

bro I literally went to Atlanta for an entire week by myself hundreds of miles away from anyone I knew. you literally were fine.

idk:/

[svtwritess]

Chapter 5

ღ word count: 8.2k

ღ genres: fluff, (heavy-ish) angst, smut (there’s actually some in this chapter finally sry for the wait <3)

ღ pairing: wonwoo x female reader, mingyu x female reader

ღ college!au, vampire!au

ღ warnings: mentions of food, vampire stuff, oral (m & f recieving) 

“He came up to you?” 

“Yes!” you nearly yelled into the phone. You’d called Mingyu the second you left the grocery store. “He said he remembered me and that if I needed anything I should ask him, but it didn’t seem like he was talking about groceries.” you told him nervously as you walked home as quickly as possible. 

“If it’s not too much to ask please try not to go there alone. Or just… go to a different grocery store or something.” you could hear the frustration in his voice and even though you didn’t know why he had an issue with Jun, you felt bad that he was so worried. 

“Mingyu, is he a, you know…” you didn’t want to say the word out loud, just in case people heard you and thought you were half out of your mind. 

“A vampire?” 

“Yeah.” 

Mingyu let out a long breath. “Yeah, he is…” 

“Okay, that makes a lot more sense then. I was already planning on it, but I’ll steer clear of him, I promise.” you nodded in understanding, even though Mingyu couldn’t see you.

“Thank you.” he sighed in relief. You smiled at the fact that you were able to lift even the lightest weight off of his shoulders. 

“I’m home now so I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked as you unlocked your door. 

“For sure, with a coffee in hand.” you smiled at his response and ended the call before entering your apartment, closing and locking the door behind you. 

You placed the few bags you had on the counter and took the items you’d bought out of them. You put the food in the refrigerator and everything else in the cabinet under the sink. As you were collecting the bags to put them away, you heard Wonwoo’s door open. You closed your eyes and sighed, not exactly sure how the interaction was going to go. 

“You’re finally home,” he said, his tone difficult to read.

“Yep.” you replied, tossing the grocery bags in the pantry and beginning the walk to your room. You brushed past Wonwoo, avoiding eye contact, but he grabbed your wrist to stop you. 

“Listen, I’m sorry.” he said quietly and you nearly rolled your eyes. 

“There would be nothing to be sorry for if you had just warned me or something.” you said, annoyance in your voice as you turned to face him. 

“Well we agreed not to talk about that stuff, so I didn’t know where the line was,” he shrugged, letting go of you. 

“Think about it this way.” you crossed your arms, “Would you rather say something as vague as ‘hey I think you should try and find another place to stay tonight I’m doing something at home’ or me walk in on you having sex? Which one do you think is the better option? Honestly?” your words caused Wonwoo to let out a sigh as he rubbed his face with his hands.

“Look I made a mistake and I apologized. I’m sorry it happened, really, so why are you still upset?” he seemed tired and a little frustrated, but it almost seemed like he was more angry with himself than with you.

“Because you could do better than that girl from the coffee shop! I don’t know why you’re wasting your time.” you muttered as you pulled away from his grasp and finished the walk to your room. 

“Y/N!” Wonwoo yelled as he followed you. You went to close your door, but his hand stopped it, pulling it back open. “Do you know how annoying it is? Watching you go through guys that aren’t good enough for you?” 

“Wonwoo what are you talking about?” you slightly raised your voice as you turned to face him. 

“All the guys you had crushes on that didn’t like you back? Do you know how much it sucked hearing you complain about them so much when they weren’t even worth your time in the first place?” he explained, anger evident in his tone. “How much I hated knowing that you were fucking my best friend for half of high school? The way he would talk about you sometimes was like you weren’t even a person, I hated it. And now this Mingyu guy who made a move while you were moving in? How desperate can he be?!” he vented loudly, running his hands through his hair. He let out a frustrated breath as he looked at you expectantly, awaiting your response. 

“I-” you really didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know you felt that way.” you stood there awkwardly as you looked at the floor, a pained look on your face. 

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s my fault for keeping it to myself.” he leaned against the wall by your door and looked at the ceiling. 

You further contemplated what to say. You didn’t know he had been holding so much inside of him or how he did it for so long. You never had the chance to feel that way toward him because this was basically the first time he’d been with anyone romantically and you hated it, so you couldn’t imagine how he felt. 

“Why do you think…” you started nervously, “it bothers you so much?” 

The window for him to confess was wide open now, you just wondered if he would do it.

“I think we both know the answer to that,” he looked at you, “But clearly that’s not gonna happen, so what’s the point in waiting around, right?” he said as he turned to leave your room.

“What’s not gonna happen?” you asked hurriedly, taking a step toward him. He looked back at you over his shoulder.

“This,” he motioned between the two of you, “us. I know how you feel and it’s fine, I’ll get over it.” he shrugged and finally exited your room, shutting the door behind him. 

You just stood there, face blank as you tried to process everything your best friend had just admitted to you. He had feelings for you? You weren’t particularly surprised, specifically because of everything he prefaced his confession with. How did he not snap sooner? You would’ve been miserable if you were in his position. 

You buried your face in your hands, rubbing your temples before grabbing your phone out of the bag that was still on your shoulder. You tossed your purse on the floor as you fell on your bed, tears starting to fill your eyes. You couldn’t talk to Mingyu about this, but you knew there was only one other person that you’d feel even remotely comfortable talking to about the situation. You went to your contacts and selected their name, the phone only ringing a few times before they picked up. 

“Y/N?” 

“Joshua?” you sniffled, a tear rolling down your face and onto your bed. 

“Are you okay?” he inquired, sounding concerned.

“No.” you chuckled, still barely having comprehended everything. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, his sweet voice calming you down slightly. 

“Wonwoo kind of… told me that he likes me. Did you know?” 

“Wow,” Joshua let out a breathy laugh, “I’m surprised he waited ‘till now to tell you. After we stopped hooking up I asked him if he was into you, because it seemed like he was, and he said yes.” he said casually. You sat up and ran a hand through your hair. 

“God I feel horrible,” you wiped a tear off of your cheek, “what do you think I should do?” you asked as you were truly, completely lost. 

“Well my instinct says you should just date him since he’s been into you for so long, but I know it’s not that easy. He told me you’ve been seeing this guy he doesn’t like, is that true?” 

“Yeah… it’s just weird because I really like him, but if I didn’t like Wonwoo, why would I be so upset about the fact that he’s seeing someone?” you asked him, hoping he would be able to tell you since you couldn’t seem to figure out the answer yourself. 

“Y/N, I hate to break it to you, but it’s possible to like two people at once, so you might be caught in a dilemma here.” he replied and you groaned, flopping back down on your bed. 

“Well this sucks,” you said and he laughed a little. 

“Just do whatever feels right, you have good judgement.” he told you, causing you to smile slightly. 

“Thanks, I try.”

“It’s good to hear from you, Y/N,” Joshua said genuinely, “And if things don’t work out with either of them, you know where to find me.” he joked… or at least you thought he was joking. 

“Thanks Josh. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“Sounds good.” he said contently and you both said goodbye before ending the call. 

You laid still on your bed, completely unsure of what to do as you tossed your phone beside you. How were you supposed to live with Wonwoo without things being completely awkward? Unless you dated him, but was that what you wanted? You didn’t want to leave Mingyu by any means… Wonwoo would get over it right? He said he would and he was already starting the process; you prayed that that would be enough. 

You picked up your phone again and saw that Wonwoo had texted you. 

from: wonu

1:21pm: leaving for the night, see you tomorrow

You sighed for what felt like the 100th time that night. You didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home because of you, so you decided that you would sit down with him and talk it out tomorrow. Even if it ended with remaining just friends, you wanted to give him some form of closure. 

You got a little bit of your shit together and decided to go on one of those job finding websites, beginning your much needed search for employment. You created your account, creating a resume and providing the site with the information they required. When you were done, you searched keywords for jobs that didn’t sound completely grueling, like “bookstore” and “receptionist” and even “librarian”. Most of them required some kind of prior experience, but you submitted your resume to the ones that didn’t. The site even recommended a couple of jobs to you as well, based on what you had searched, so you applied to a few of those just for the hell of it. 

You closed the web browser and went to scroll through an app on your phone when you heard a long, very unsettling gurgling noise come from your stomach. The fact that you hadn’t eaten all day smacked you in the face and you forced yourself to get out of bed.

As you padded to the kitchen, you knew exactly what you were going to make yourself. You’d bought some noodles, pasta sauce, and parmesan cheese for the house and though it was simple, it was filling, and in your opinion, delicious. 

You played some music on your phone, dancing around a little as you waited for the noodles to cook. You stirred them every once and a while, making sure the water didn’t boil over. When they were almost done, you put some of the sauce in a bowl and heated it up in the microwave. Once the timer went off, you turned the stovetop off and removed the pot of noodles from the eye it was on. After straining them, you transferred the noodles to the same bowl as the sauce and doused everything in parmesan cheese. 

You decided to watch a movie that you knew Wonwoo would never be interested in, deciding to take advantage of the fact that he (sadly) wasn’t there. Even though you were usually okay with being by yourself, for some reason you felt quite lonely. Maybe it was because you had found someone besides Wonwoo that you actually enjoyed spending time around, and it definitely helped that that someone was extremely attractive and very interested in you. 

You didn’t want to annoy him, but you found yourself wanting to be around Mingyu more and more. You’d always just assumed that he had a life outside of you, but honestly, you weren’t so sure anymore. It wasn’t by any means a bad thing, you had far less of a life than he did, you just hoped that he wanted to spend more time together just as you did.

You picked up your phone and unlocked it, finding Mingyu’s contact and pressing the call button. 

“Why hello, miss me already?” you could hear him smirking. 

“Actually yes,” you admitted, “Can you blame me?” 

“Not at all… I was just thinking about you myself.”

“Ooooh, do I get to know what about?” you asked, smiling to yourself at his words. You loved that he was comfortable enough to admit something like that to you. 

“I’m afraid that’s gonna have to stay between me and the higher power babe,” he chuckled and you blushed at the nickname. He had never called you that before. “What’s up?” 

You hesitated for a moment. “Do you think you could come over tonight? Wonwoo’s gone for the night so I thought it would be nice, but if you’re busy…” 

“I’m helping Chan study for a test he has tomorrow, but I’ll be over as soon as we’re done. I promise.”

“See you then,” you bit your lip excitedly and ended the call. 

You thought that maybe you should, no…. well? Maybe it wasn’t that crazy of an idea. Would wearing something kind of obviously sexy be too much? What if he was more in the mood than you were and then things got awkward? Or vice versa? You knew he wouldn’t push you to do anything you didn’t want to do, but you also didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. It felt like a stupid thing to be worrying about, but admittedly you were a bit tired of just kissing, and moving to ~the next step~ was pretty nerve wracking. 

You paused the movie you were watching and walked into your room, letting out a deep breath and continuously trying to convince yourself that you weren’t being ridiculous. You opened your underwear drawer and dug to the bottom of it, fishing out the sexiest pair you had that you’d only ever worn for you and you alone. You found the bra that matched it and tossed them on your bed, removing the clothes you were wearing before putting them on. You realized the black matching set was surprisingly comfortable as you contemplated what else to wear during his visit. 

You looked through your drawers, quickly realizing that sexy loungewear wasn’t something you owned, and decided to simply wear a large t-shirt that your father had given you a few years ago because it didn’t fit him. It wasn’t particularly sexy in itself, but it sent the right message. 

You padded back into the living room and plopped back down on the couch, awaiting Mingyu’s arrival. As the movie played, you checked your email to see if any of the jobs you’d applied to had gotten back to you, but as you’d only submitted your applications a little over an hour ago, you had no responses. 

You sighed and tapped your foot impatiently against the floor, leaning your head back to rest on top of the couch. You listened to the movie with your eyes closed, nearly drifting off to sleep when finally, right as the movie ended, there was a knock at your door. 

You jumped up excitedly, a smile as your face as you ran over to the door and nearly threw it open. 

“Hi,” Mingyu said, taking in your only partially covered form. You bit your lip and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He smiled against your lips and wrapped his arms around your waist instinctively, pressing your bodies together. 

���I missed you,” you said quietly into the kiss, gently biting down on his lower lip. He nearly growled at the action, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth as he moved his hands to grip your hips. 

“You just saw me a few hours ago,” he grunted, one of his hands moving down your body and grabbing your ass eagerly. His kisses were sloppy and his lips soft, making it impossible to focus on anything other than him. The way his tongue ran against yours went straight to your core, warmth taking over your body.

“Well you’re just as excited as I am,” you breathed out between kisses, “so what does that mean?” 

Mingyu pulled away from you and rested his forehead on yours, both of you breathing a bit heavier than normal. He smiled before pecking your lips one last time and pulling away from you. 

“I would say it means I can’t get enough of you,” he replied, pecking your forehead then prancing over to your couch. You stood there for a moment, blushing slightly and trying to comprehend his cheesy comment.

“Touché,” you smiled as you turned around. Mingyu was sitting on your couch, man spreading like no other, though you didn’t mind yet as you weren’t sitting next to him. 

“So where’d Wonwoo go?” he asked casually, fingers woven together behind his head, supporting it as he sat. You felt your heart fall into your stomach. How do I avoid this? You wondered. Should I even avoid this? 

“He, uh, just got upset with me and wanted to take a night to clear his head, that’s all…” you trailed off, avoiding eye contact as you took a spot next to him on the couch. He turned his head to look at you, eyebrows furrowed. 

“He got mad enough to leave? That must’ve been bad… do you wanna talk about it?” he offered, placing one of his hands on your thigh. You looked at him with a soft smile and shook your head. 

“Not right now, maybe another time though,” you told him and he nodded in understanding. You leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, “thank you.” 

“Anytime,” he patted your leg and pecked your lips before standing up to go to the kitchen. You reveled in the fact that you both trusted each other so much. He had his secrets and you had yours, and it made you a bit nervous, but he’d given you no reason to believe that he’d ever deceive you. 

“Are you-” you began asking him as he looked in one of your cabinets, when suddenly a very dark thought dawned on you. 

Vampires don’t eat… they drink.

“Y/N?” Mingyu’s voice shook you out of your thoughts, though your eyes were still glued to the floor and your mouth was still hanging open in sudden realization. 

“I’ve only seen you eat, what, once?” you said quietly as you looked up at him, “because you don’t need to eat...” 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to you. He sat down on the floor in front of you and put his hands on your knees, looking into your eyes meaningfully.

“I hate this part, everyone always reacts so differently…” he gently, though nervously, ran his hands up and down your thighs, “What do you wanna know?” His voice was soft and calm, but slightly reluctant. 

“I-I mean… you drink blood, right?” you asked hesitantly, again unable to believe that you were having such a conversation in real life. 

“Yeah.” he replied casually, causing you to look at him confusedly. 

“So do you have to… kill anyone to do it?” you twiddled your fingers.

“Well when I first turned I did, no one knows how to act the first week of being a vampire. You’re suddenly so powerful that you feel like you can do anything, so you do…” he looked at his hands, reminiscing on past choices he clearly regretted. “Draining someone is the most satisfying way to feed, but it’s messy and brutal and just… wrong, so I haven’t done it in decades.” 

“So then what do you do?” you asked. You knew you should be scared, maybe disgusted even, but it wasn’t your place to judge. You had no idea what it would be like to be in his position, the things he must’ve felt, the urges he must’ve had… it couldn’t have been easy. Besides, it was 2 centuries ago. You knew he was a different person now than he was then, so if he says he hasn’t... killed anyone in a long, long while, you believed him.

“Personally, I feed on animals. I leave them alive as often as possible,” you winced at the ‘as often as possible’ part. “It’s not very filling, but it’s the safest way to do it. Sometimes Jeonghan will feed on people, on the hook ups he brings home, but he always leaves them alive and…” he hesitated for a moment, “wipes their memory after.” your jaw was on the floor and your eyes nearly fell out of your head. 

“You can do that?!” you exclaimed. Mingyu chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

“Yeah, but it’s not that easy. You have to have the blood of the vampire who’s trying to wipe your memory in your system for it to work, so it’s usually not worth it.” he explained, and you were still completely astonished. 

“How does he-”

“It only takes a drop, so usually he’ll put it in their drink or something. I think sometimes they even do it willingly.” he told you and you looked at him in disbelief. “I don’t know what kind of people Jeonghan hooks up with.” he shrugged. 

“What about Vernon? And Chan, he just turned didn’t he? Did he feed on people?” you asked, suddenly completely immersed in the topic. 

“Chan was the same way I was when I first turned, totally insatiable. I wouldn’t let him feed on people ‘cause I knew he’d go too far, so I snuck blood out of hospitals, donation trucks, anywhere I could really. And Vernon… Well Vernon’s the lucky one. Seungkwan lets him feed off of him basically whenever he needs to, and he has great self control, so it’s really not an issue.” he explained to you, nodding as he finished. 

“Wow,” you tried to take it all in, “how come you ate with me then? That time you made ramen?” 

“Well we can eat, it just basically does nothing for us in terms of stopping us from being hungry or keeping us “alive”, so it’s mostly recreational.” he used air quotes, helping you make sense of things. Questions would not stop coming into your head.

“Wait, so… do you poop?” you asked in all seriousness, though MIngyu threw his head back with laughter. 

“Okay I think that’s enough question and answer for today,” he patted your knee and stood up, heading back into the kitchen. You pouted, genuinely unsure of how a vampire’s digestive system worked, but you decided to let it go. 

You admired Mingyu’s frame as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet in front of him, then reached over to open the freezer. 

“Did you say that Seungkwan lets Vernon… feed on him?” you inquired as a thought popped into your head. 

“Yeah, why?” Mingyu replied as he popped ice cubes out of your ice cube tray. 

“Well,” you began as you stood up, making your way over to him, “how good would you say your self control is?” 

“I don’t know,” he chuckled, “depends on the situation.” He refilled the tray and put it back in the freezer before grabbing the gallon of water you kept in the refrigerator. 

“What if I told you,” you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind as he opened the jug, “that we could try something like that if you wanted to?”

“Try something like what?” he asked as he began pouring the water.

“You… feeding on me.”

Mingyu didn’t respond. You were scared you’d offended him or something, though after a silence that was much too long, you heard water flowing over the cup, and soon it was on the floor. 

“Mingyu!” you exclaimed as you stepped backward, the cold water nearly touching your feet. You heard him mutter a few curse words under his breath before setting the jug upright and nearly lunging for the paper towels.

“Sorry, I-, shit, I’m sorry.” he stumbled on his words as he unraveled the paper towels, ripping off a large portion and cleaning up the water he’d spilt on the counter. 

“Why’d you do that?” you asked, though there was no trace of anger in your voice, just confusion. You grabbed some paper towels yourself and began wiping up the water on the floor. 

“You just… surprised me, is all.” he replied, walking past you to throw his now drenched paper towels away. After the floor was dry again, you followed suit, throwing the damp sheets away before standing next to him. He had his hands pressed to the edge of the counter and was leaning on them, his head looking down at the floor.

“I-I’m sorry if I-”

“God, no,” he stopped you, “don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything, it’s just that… no one’s ever really offered me that before.” he looked over at you, his eyes soft and full of warmth.

“With how long you’ve been alive and how hot you are? I find that hard to believe.” you said playfully, reaching over to rub small, comforting circles into his back. 

“I’m serious!” he giggled, looking back down at the ground. Your smile faded, realizing he didn’t believe your words to be true. 

“So am I,” you stepped in front of him and looked into his eyes. “I meant it, but if you don’t want to then I’m not gonna force you.” He slowly stood up straight and cupped your face with both of his hands, tilting your head so you were looking up at him.

“You trust me that much?” he asked and you nodded. “And you’re sure about this?” you nodded once more. Mingyu leaned down as if he was going to kiss you, but stopped right in front of your lips. “I think,” he pecked your lips as gently as ever, “I’m in love with you.” 

You felt your heart swell in your chest and your cheeks flare up with heat, smiling even though your face was still encompassed by Mingyu’s hands. 

“So soon?!” you asked, not even bothering to try and contain your excitement. He laughed at you, releasing you from his grip and turning to grab his cup.

“Hey, I said I think,” he smirked before taking a sip of water. Your eyes wandered to the floor, and your mind to the events that happened just moments earlier when he walked through the door. Your playful manner suddenly dissipated as you remembered how his hands felt on your body, how his lips felt against yours. 

“Then why did you stop?” you asked quietly.

“Stop what?” he looked at you, clearly confused as he set it glass back on the counter.

“You know, when you got here... and I basically threw myself at you…” you eluded, trying to get him to understand.

“Yeeeah?” he looked at you, everything you were implying going completely over his head. You rolled your eyes and scoffed. 

“I’m not dressed like this,” you motioned to your ‘outfit’, “for no reason!” 

Mingyu chuckled. “I figured that’s just what you wear around the house!” He defended himself.

“With no pants on? When I knew you were coming over?” you questioned, arms crossed. He simply nodded as if he was stating the obvious. You sighed defeatedly as you walked away from him. 

“For a man who’s been alive for over 200 years you sure can be clueless sometimes!” you yelled as you opened the door to your room, heading for your bed.

Before you knew it, Mingyu was bursting through the door frame and picking you up. He threw your back down on the bed as you laughed, bouncing up and down slightly before he climbed on top of you. 

“You think I’m clueless huh?” he asked, his tone and facial expression totally serious. Your smile instantly faded, eyes widening at his demeanor and the sudden close proximities of your bodies. You went to reply, but he spoke again. “Think I didn’t wanna rip this thing off you the second I saw you?” 

He crashed his lips to yours as he lifted your leg up so it was bent at the knee before running his hand up your thigh and tugging at the hem of your shirt. 

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked against his lips, running your hands through his hair as he caressed your side. 

“Cause I didn’t wanna be wrong,” he moved his lips down to kiss your neck, a moan escaping your lips as the warmth of his mouth encapsulated your skin, “but now I know I wasn’t.” he kissed along your jaw, his tongue swiping across your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. 

You reached forward and began pulling Mingyu’s shirt up, causing him to pull away from you and take it off. He looked down at you, your shirt having ridden up to just underneath your breasts. 

“What are these?” he asked, a smug expression taking over his features as he ran his thumb along the top of your underwear. You smirked up at him, glad that your plan was working. 

“Oh, nothing,” you replied as you confidently pulled your shirt the rest of the way off. 

“Oh my god,” Mingyu groaned, throwing his head back before taking in the sight before him that he could not believe he was lucky enough to be seeing. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he said in a low voice as he returned to kissing you. He was rough and passionate, teeth nearly clashing together as he ground his hardening member against your clothed core. 

“Mingyu,” you moaned lightly as you gently pulled his face away from yours, “I wanna try something.” he nodded at your words and you pushed him off of you.

“Sit,” you directed as you motioned toward the top of your bed. He looked at you curiously, but obliged and sat with his back against your headboard. You climbed onto his lap, legs on either side of his waist. He looked at you, admiration in his eyes as he ran his hands down your sides and over your hips. 

“I like this,” he stated happily and you smiled, pulling him toward you and reconnecting your lips. Your tongue ran across his bottom lip, his hands moving down to your ass, grabbing it as he inhaled sharply. “God you’re amazing,” he breathed against your lips.. 

“We haven’t even gotten to the good part,” you said, your voice sultry as you began kissing his neck, leaving a hickey here and there. Whimpers left his mouth as you kissed him, grinding yourself down on his crotch. His hard cock rubbed against your clit perfectly, your underwear dampening. He moved his hands up and unclasped your bra with ease, tossing it on the floor. He groped your breasts with vigor, loving the feeling of your breasts in his hands. Your skin was on fire and his cool hands felt amazing against your nipples

You begrudgingly took his hands off of your breasts and began kissing down his body, your hand moving to palm him through his pants. He let out a low moan, the combination of your mouth on him and your hand palming him feeling better than he could’ve imagined. 

Once you reached the band of his underwear, you pulled his pants down his legs and tossed them aside. You placed your hands on his hips as you ran your tongue along his clothed member, placing light kisses along it as he moaned beneath you. 

“Y/N please…” he begged breathlessly, eyes closed with his head leaning against your headboard. You smiled at his desperation and slowly removed his underwear before throwing it to where his pants were. You turned back toward him and stared at his member in front of you… he was… gigantic? You swallowed your pride, though you were worried that he may be too much for you to handle.

Instead of letting your insecurity show, you licked a long, slow stripe up his shaft, a guttural moan falling from Mingyu’s lips. You swirled your tongue around his tip, collecting the precum that threatened to fall from it. He let out a shaky breath and you looked up at him. His eyelids were heavy, but his eyes were on you, his chest falling up and down in a quick rhythm. You smirked at his fucked-out state and took as much of him as you could in your mouth, nearly gagging when his tip reached the back of your throat. 

“Y/N…” he whimpered, causing you to moan as you pulled off of him. Something about Mingyu, who had such a big effect on you, being so weak at your fingertips had you dripping. “That feels so good.”

“Good, I’m glad.” you smiled as you jerked him off, using your saliva as a lubricant. You moved your head back down and took the top of his member in your mouth, continuing to move your hand up and down the bottom of it. The sounds coming from your room were absolutely filthy, but admittedly, you loved it. 

Mingyu moved one of his hands into your hair as he whined, his bottom lip nearly bleeding from how hard he was biting it. You moved your mouth off of him and he almost began to complain, but then he noticed you moving lower. As you twisted your hand up and down his member, you took one of his balls into your mouth. 

“Jesus Y/N,” he nearly yelled, back arching off of your headboard. You took your hand off of his cock and put him back in your mouth, moving your hand to his balls and massaging them gently. “Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he whispered, his words causing you to moan against him. The vibration sent a feeling of euphoria through his entire body, his seed shooting into the back of your throat as he moaned your name. 

Though it had been a while since you’d blown someone, you thought you handled yourself pretty well. You tried not to make a face as you swallowed his load. It wasn’t your favorite thing to do, but you were by no means a quitter. 

You sat up and fixed your hair, allowing yourself to catch your breath as you admired Mingyu’s figure. His eyes were closed, his arms limp at his side as he attempted to recover from the whirlwind you had just thrown him into. He looked amazing… ethereal even. 

“Was that okay?” you asked innocently as you crawled toward him. He looked at you like you had 3 heads. 

“Are you kidding me?” he questioned, but you just shrugged as you went to straddle him once more. Before you could place your hands on his shoulders, he was flipping the two of you over so that you were on your back. “You’re not gonna remember your own name when I’m done with you,” he groaned against your lips as he kissed you. He ground against you and your eyes shot open as you broke the kiss.

“Are you hard?” you asked in utter disbelief. 

“Yes,” he said impatiently, spreading your legs further apart for more access. 

“But you just-”

He sat up and looked you in the eyes knowingly, “Vampire thing.”

“Oooooh…” you nodded as he returned his attention to your lips, the information you’d just learned arousing you even further. 

His lips were soft against yours, which was a great contrast to the way he kissed you. Your tongue swiped his, messily getting lost in each other’s tastes. You ran your hands through his hair and tugged on it lightly, making him moan quietly into your mouth. 

His lips moved to your neck, teeth lightly grazing across your skin every now and then. You wondered if he would bite you, as you’d given him permission, but his lips merely trailed down to your chest instead. His hand caressed your thigh as he kissed the expanse of your breasts, seemingly covering every inch of skin with kisses. Though, being the tease he is, he kissed around your nipples that were hardened with arousal, which was exactly where you wanted his mouth in that moment. He looked up at you with a smirk, knowing exactly what he was doing. 

He took his time kissing his way down your stomach. He gently ran his hand up and down your side, often whispering sweet nothings against your skin. The pace of your breathing quickened as he moved further down your body, letting out a whimper as he licked up your navel toward your belly button. He hooked his pointer finger around the waistband of your underwear, pulling them off of you in the blink of an eye.

Mingyu brought both of his hands to your knees and spread them as far as they would go. You became slightly self-conscious as he did and said nothing, he simply stared at your dripping core. Before you knew it, he was lunging toward your center, his tongue attacking your clit as if he’d been starved of your taste for days. 

He took turns licking long stripes up your folds and taking your clit in his mouth, sucking and toying with it with his tongue. The noises you were making were uncontrollable at that point, a loud moan falling from your lips when one of his fingers entered you.

“Mingyu…” you whined, your hand making your way to his hair. 

“You’re so beautiful Y/N,” he groaned against your core, “So beautiful....” 

Your cheeks flushed even more at his words. They were cheesy, but they rubbed you in exactly the right way. 

He sucked on your clit as his fingers curled inside you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as your back arched off your bed. The obscene noises you were making went straight to Mingyu’s crotch, causing him to rut his hips against the bed as he ate you out. 

He added a second finger inside of you and removed his lips from your center, causing you to whine in disapproval. He began kissing the inside of your thighs, biting down on the skin occasionally and replaced the feeling of his tongue with his finger, putting pressure on your clit as he rubbed you toward your climax. 

“Oh my god, more, please,” you begged, your other hand running through your own hair as your orgasm built up inside of you. Your breathing stuttered when he returned his tongue to your clit, moving it in a similar fashion as he did his thumb and the sensation was one you’d never felt before. A chill ran down your spine when the coil in your stomach snapped, your climax tearing through you with immense force as the combination of how good his tongue and fingers felt finally hit you. 

Your back arched off the bed once more, feral noises coming from your throat mixed with the sound of his name falling off your lips was like music to Mingyu’s ears. He didn’t stop his movements until your grip on his hair loosened and you were whining for him to stop.

He sat back on his heels before licking his lips and sucking his fingers clean. He smirked down at you, crawling back on top of your fucked-out form and pecking your lips lightly. The way you looked in that moment, a light sheen of sweat covering your forehead along with your eyelids that threatened to fall shut, made Mingyu’s heart swell. 

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” he said as he lovingly moved some stray hairs away from your face. 

“Yeah? About what?” you asked as you admired his now messy features, reveling in his touch. 

“I’m definitely in love with you.” 

For some reason your body had woken you up almost an hour before you needed to be awake, but you supposed there was no harm in that. You woke up against Mingyu’s bare chest, a light snore falling from his lips, along with a wee bit of drool. You thought it was more endearing than anything else as you stared at him, nothing but admiration in your eyes and a warm feeling in your heart. 

He was in love with you? So soon? Your mind didn’t want to believe it, but your heart couldn’t help falling for his words. Even if he didn’t mean it, even if it was premature, it felt right. It didn’t scare you. It didn’t make your heart feel like retreating even further into your body and convincing you to run away. You wanted his words to be genuine, and similarly, you wanted to be able to say it back to him just as truthfully someday soon. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to fully fall for him, there was just one thing you needed to take care of first. 

Wonwoo. The only reason you were able to sleep the previous night was because of how worn out Mingyu had made you, and you were grateful for that. You became increasingly anxious as you waited for your best friend to come home, not wanting to talk about the situation, but recognizing that you desperately needed to. 

You slowly slid your bare body out of your bed, careful not to wake Mingyu. You walked over to pick up your discarded clothes from last night, slipping the shirt you were wearing then back over your head. You were feeling cold, so you walked over to your dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama pants, slipping those on as well. 

You heard your front door open and you stood up straight, panic rushing through your body. Your eyes were wide as you weren’t expecting Wonwoo to be home so soon and before that moment you thought you might actually have some time to prepare what you wanted to say to him. Though your mind was telling you to cover Mingyu with blankets and pillows so he couldn’t be seen and stay in your room and be as silent as possible, your feet completely disregarded your thoughts as you began walking toward your bedroom door. You opened it and began walking toward your best friend who was now in the kitchen. You reached his back that was facing you and hesitated.

“Wonwoo?” you said quietly, reaching up and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. “Do you think we could talk? Please?” you kept your voice quiet, gentle. He turned around slowly until he was facing you. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Y/N.” he shook his head and shrugged his broad shoulders. You looked at him, loads of sympathy in your eyes. 

“Yes there is. I’m not okay with things being so awkward between us and I know you aren’t either.” you replied, trying to maintain eye contact, but he kept his eyes on the floor. 

“And how are we supposed to make things not awkward?” he asked, arms crossed as he mindlessly swiped his sock-covered foot across the tile floor. 

“Listen, if I had known you liked me before I met Mingyu, he wouldn’t even be in the picture right now. I never really admitted it, but I’ve always liked you too. Even now I’m not totally sure how I feel, I just know that I’m with Mingyu now and I really, really like him and you’re with someone else now too, so I think we should both just keep doing what we’re doing,” you let out a deep breath, Wonwoo finally looking into your eyes. “I know it’s not that easy, but… just try and focus on moving on. I’ll give you the space and time you need, I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable here, and I don’t wanna stop being friends.” you explained as calmly as you could, you didn’t want to get too emotional in fear of what you might say.

“Friends?” Wonwoo asked, disbelief in his voice. You were suddenly worrying again, wondering if you’d said something wrong. You went to defend yourself, but he spoke before you. “I thought we were best friends?” a smile creeped onto Wonwoo’s face and you rolled your eyes.

“You scared me!” you swatted his arm, barely taking note of the fact that he was pulling you into a hug, a light chuckle leaving his lips. You’d missed his laugh. 

“I’m sorry,” he hugged you tightly, “we just never got the timing right, that’s all.” he rubbed your back and you nodded against his toned chest.

“If something’s meant to happen, it will.” was all you could think to reply. You believed it, you really did, and if it was fated that the two of you end up together, you knew it would happen somehow.

You stayed in the comfort of his arms for a little bit before pulling away. You looked up into his eyes and the moment you did you knew you shouldn’t have. You got lost in his soft, cat-like orbs before admiring his nose that came to a perfect point. You moved to his lips, and when you had stared at them for far longer than was acceptable, you heard footsteps behind you.

You panicked, immediately pushing Wonwoo away and attempting to collect yourself before turning around. Mingyu was just standing there, fully dressed with a look on his face that was an uneasy combination of disappointment and insecurity. Your face fell upon seeing him. How much had he heard? 

Wonwoo looked between the two of you, but he said nothing. He merely walked to his room as quickly as he could, avoiding Mingyu’s eyes along the way. When you heard Wonwoo’s bedroom door shut, you bolted toward Mingyu and prepared to explain yourself.

“Mingyu-”

“Why…” he sighed, interrupting you, “Why did he leave yesterday?” his voice broke a little as he spoke, your heart along with it.

“He just-” you so badly wanted to keep things vague, make excuses even, but you knew the truth would come out at some point, and he deserved to know anyway. You ran your hands through your hair frustratedly. “He told me that he has feelings for me.” you admitted defeatedly. Mingyu let out a breathy laugh of disbelief, his expression quickly turning sour again.  

“Did you mean it?” he asked quietly, seriously. He was looking right at you, all of his emotions on display. 

“Mean what?” 

“What you said… about me.” his jaw clenched. 

“That… that I like you?” 

“No,” his annoyance finally got the best of him, “When you said that I wouldn’t even be in the picture right now if you had known Wonwoo liked you before you met me. Did you mean that?” his voice was harsh as he took a step closer to you. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, but it was the first time you’d ever felt scared of him. You knew in that moment you could either lift his spirits or crush them, but in order to be truthful, you could only do the latter. 

“I-” you let out a sigh, closing your eyes. “Yes, but trust me-”

“That’s all I needed to hear.” he cut you off and headed toward the door.

“Mingyu please-” you followed him, but before you could finish your thought, the door was slamming in your face, Mingyu on the other side of it. 

You leaned your forehead against the door, tears swelling in your eyes. You couldn’t believe you’d been so careless with your words when Mingyu was just in the other room. The worst part was that you knew you meant them, but you still wouldn’t trade what you had with him for anything… or anyone. If something is meant to happen it will, your mind repeated, and you ended up with Mingyu; you knew it was no coincidence. 

You felt your heart nearly tear in half when you remembered he’d told you he was in love with you less than 12 hours ago. Warm tears began falling from your eyes, streaming down your cheeks as you ran into your room, slamming the door behind you. 

You couldn’t manage going any further. You leaned against the back of your door, your face in your hands as you cried. You couldn’t imagine how horrible he must’ve felt, hearing you say out loud that you would’ve completely disregarded him if only another man had gotten to you before him. You never thought you would hurt him, and by no means did you ever want to.

As you wiped the salty droplets caused by nothing but your own stupidity off of your cheeks, you saw your phone screen light up and begin to vibrate from its place on the floor. You walked over to it and picked it up, seeing that it was your mother calling. You texted your parents frequently, but your face scrunched in confusion as you rarely ever called each other. You attempted to pull yourself together, drying your tears once more as you answered the call, putting the phone up to your ear. 

“Mom?” 

“Y/N? Sweetie are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked frantically, seemingly through tears.

“What? Mom, I’m fine. What’s going on?” 

“We were robbed last night.”

a/n: ..hehe :D

[cheswirls]

tether notes 1/3

long overdue, sry abt that.

pt. 1

why is there no change to the mines after 15+ years of destroying an environment?

i modeled the sinnoh region of tether almost exclusively on the hokkaido region of japan. from the layout of cities like sapporo, abashiri, and muroran, to geography like lake saroma northeast of veilstone and the hidaka mountain range for lower mt coronet, and especially, to the isolationism. i kept it trie to pokemon in the fact that sinnoh has no railways, unlike its real-life counterpart, which has plenty for traversing its vastness. a big part of hokkaido is how empty it is.

[on that note, though i mention both, i used muroran photography to model veilstone instead of abashiri, as its a proper port town. not super significant, jsu thought i’d bring it up, since muroran is sandgem’s counterpart.]

hokkaido is vastly underpopulated in ratio to its size. its mostly due to climate, and nature. things are far less technologized there. outside of sapporo, you won’t find very many glowing billboards and fancy casinos and active nightlife. you have to ride a train for hours to reach the next big town. the mountain range cuts the northern region in half.

when compared to this, little villages out in the middle of the wilds are far more isolated than towns. especially when they’re remnants of indigenous tribes. it’s sad, but it’s pretty standard process in the world nowadays -governments don’t care about the native people much. it’s prevalent in the united states, and if you’ve ever read commentary from fma’s mangaka arakawa, you’ll know the same is true for japan. the ainu are isolated to hokkaido. they aren’t looked after much.

so, even though it’s been a direct result of oreburgh’s mines’ negative effects, it’s still a matter of most of the sinnoh region not even knowing the village existed, and even if they did, not paying it mind. the wilds of sinnoh are difficult to traverse, and it’s more logical to take a boat to your destined city instead of traversing through them. that’s why so many of the big towns in sinnoh are located on a shore. for others, like jubilife and hearthome, there are airports that cater to people. and, for real life hokkaido, there are the trains.

i really wrote abt the mining incident in reference to bangladesh. in hokkaido, once all the prevalent mines started having accidents, the japanese government was quick to shut them down. in other eastern countries, especially bangladesh, the government is notorious for doing nothing abt the insane amounts of river pollution caused by factory waste. writing the river scene was heartbreaking, but learning about the trash rivers that prevail in countries with vast amounts of pollution, of the ones that run stark orange with mining waste, that was more difficult than anything i’d written for tether. 

so it comes down to being a mix of two things. one, sinnoh’s government viewing the production of the mine and the money it brings over the safety of the nature that surrounds it. and, two, no one noticing the damage anyway. it’s not like it ever affected oreburgh. or, maybe it did, but they installed the fresh-air vents to keep the mines clean, like the changes made in pokemon platinum suggest? the oreburgh mines are the sinnoh region’s majority of energy, after all (you can argue for sunyshore, but i’d say solar power only stretches so far from the source) so even if there’s a scuffle of it here or there, keeping it active is important.

also. my take of the pokemon world has always been a little gritty. so there’s that.

why hancock as champion?

i ask myself this question everyday. i don’t even like boa. why did i include her, if in name only? what was i thinking? oh well. it’s already been done.

[side note, again. if boa’s in charge of sinnoh, considering her, erm, personality, is it hard to believe nothing was ever done abt the mine pollution? aka does she care abt anyone but herself hm hm ]

pt 2.

i introduce a pokemon known as driftzel rather early on. it’s luffy’s, and it’s an in-progress pokemon, a concept i thought would be interesting to use. you can see what driftzel looks like here. it also links to the blog i got the idea from. instead of it being like a natural evolution, though, the idea in tether is more of a middle evolution for pokemon with two lines. so, there aren’t any for three-line evolutions. i was originally going to introduce ricaru, an evolution between riolu and lucario, but i moved away from that idea somewhere around writing part 4.

herbalist!law is the solution i came up with in lieu of him being a doctor. i had so much fun with the berries. when i was doing my maps for each part of tether, i had separate maps marking out the locations of berries in the games and which ones law collects along the journey to veilstone. 

hearthome is the only city i didn’t base on a real world counterpart. i think because i had too much to work with already. the cathedral, the contest hall, the gym. all the architecture. the poffin house. i didn’t wanna change anything abt hearthome, and more importantly, i wanted to portray part of japan’s hospitality here, too. it does extend all the way to hokkaido, yes. people are nice, and friendly, and happy to have travelers, just as depicted in all the games. 

yes, all of ace’s pokemon are named after spade pirates. except for isuka, because i couldn’t resist. yes, striker is a spade pirate, it was his ship. 

[in reference to the night walk between hearthome and solaceon] remember to bring a compass, when you’re in a region with a giant magnetic mountain range at its center, because it will be a lifesaver.

Law can see how uneasy Luffy still is, but as they walk further from the coast, he eases up, so he chooses not to ask

^ in platinum, the opposite shore houses the hallowed tower where you can encounter spiritomb. sensing the presence of an evil spirit leaves luffy on edge, thus their dodge to avoid it.

why are lunar wings, an event-only item, brought up in hearthome?

you’re right. lunar wing is a rare dppt item, and you can only get it after encountering cresselia on fullmoon island. my inspiration came from an episode of the dp anime, where a stall in canalave was selling the feathers as homage to the game event. actually, to go further, the same thing happened in the darkrai movie, which is where i got most of the insp. especially for the charms made out of them -look at the picture here!! i figured, with the sinnoh region i was depicting being a place of mostly friendly and peaceful pokemon, cresselia was more generous with her feathers. they make for popular items, and if they work in keeping the bad dreams away, whats the harm? plus, they’re in hearthome, a hotbed for tourists and foreign activity, because they’d sell best there. a good luck souvenir from sinnoh? sign me up.

but they are still lunar wings, and they do work, as shown with chimchar. i really wanted a piece of practical merchandise i could show off, and once i got the idea for chimchar’s introduction, i tweaked the hearthome scene to include the feathers. if you pay attention, though, you’ll note that law no longer has restless sleep after luffy’s secured a lunar wing.

the solaceon ruins was a place i wanted to explore so badly, but it just didn’t make sense within the continuity of the story, especially when i decided to go the northern route and introduce tsuru out of the fog. my original ideas were split between that, and law/lu cutting through the mountainous area of the ruins as a shortcut to veilstone. i was really captivated with exploring the uncharted areas of sinnoh’s map, and i think at this point i had established enough, so i decided they would stay on paved routes this time. but! i did want to bring it up, which is where carmel comes in.

in the games, there are houses on the outskirts of solaceon, nestled between the trees, and very close to the ruins. there’s one house where a little boy will give you ball capsule stickers. that’s the basis for mother carmel’s house. she lives there with anana, the first of the captive granddaughters to be introduced. 

anana is creepy in canon. you can’t die that. i used carmel’s canon portrayal to match, and then the scene becomes a match of who’s creepier -the ruins or this old lady? the atmosphere around the ruins is weird. there are unknown there, so the space is distorted. it’s an old place. it’s quite possibly connected to giratina and the distortion world, since there are unknown present. it’s supposed to be eerie and strange and off-putting. it’s supposed to feel like a place where a wandering child can disappear into quite easily. though, maybe carmel’s just inattentive.

The trees out here are tall, towering over them in shades of deep green and dull orange, a byproduct left over from spring’s bloom

i mention orange trees in a section of the woods just past solaceon. they’re not orange from fall, though, they’re naturally so. oran trees! any off-colored trees mentioned -assume they’re berry trees. also another berry thing i had fun with, deciding which was a bushel and which was a plant and which was a huge tree. 

i had way too much fun depicting the fog forest. i actually listened to a lot of pkmn soundtrack while writing tether, and for this part, this santalune forest remix was on constant replay. getting turned around, not being able to see your map, hearing the sounds and calls of wild pokemon, and then getting so lost in it that you begin to hear what isn’t there. not being able to see in front of you, barely able to dodge attacks and sabotage from wild pokemon, and feeling like youre going insane from myriads of different tunes clashing together. the road between solaceon and the dragon tamer’s house is terrifying, and i wanted to use this to depict the dangers of traveling in the pokemon world. though most sinnoh pokemon thus far had been shown to have good intentions, it can’t be said about every pokemon. 

not to mention the big drop you have before the bridge, right when you get out of the fog! not really even out of it, as it sticks around near the dragon tamer’s house. could you imagine encountering something like that in real life? imagine how many accidents there would be.

so i had a bit of trouble in deciding if i wanted to use tsuru or not. this was fairly early on in wano, and i knew i wanted to use tama, but who to pair her up with for grandmother/daughter matches was iffy. looking back at my list, i had lots of other picks for the dragon elder. gloriosa, shakky, kureha, rouge, gerth, even! carmel, too, at one point was a pick, since i planned this part out early on into the story. i actually had marine tsuru on the list as well! in the end, i think i decided on wano tsuru bc of all the dragon tie-ins thus far. if i were to go back, now, i think i might change it to toki and hiyori, possibly. or, tsuru and hiyori. not that i dont love tama, though, i do. 

i had a small list of grandkids, too, depending on who was the grandmother. anana, rebecca, tama, marguerite, and a few choices for marine tsuru (the standout was, apparently, isuka. then i repurposed the name for ace’s talonflame. tashigi was another pick, but in the end in wanted little girls.) at another point i thought about hiluluk and chopper, and had another grandfather/son combo that i can’t remember anymore. those were scrapped early on, since i wanted all girls. i also thought abt chimney and kokoro, but i wanted them on a more coastal city, to mirror water 7. 

there were two things i really wanted to happen in tether. one was a pokemon joining a team. and another was an evolution. part 2 fulfills one of those w chimchar, the pokemon i always wanted luffy to have, and the one i never knew i needed him to earn. also, giving pokemon their own personalities is really cute.

also, just before this scene, i take a skip, marking the second time an indefinite amount of time has passed between scenes. i realized while writing the time through mt coronet that i was writing more passively than actively, and this was speeding up things more than i liked. it’s why i took a break and depicted hearthome for a couple days, so that things were happening more in the moment. still, i hope at this point it’s gotten across that it’s taken a long time to travel to veilstone. moving across the entire region is a long journey, after all.

introducting aura, a movie concept.

so. aura was the main reason i wanted tether to take place in the sinnoh region. it’s actually mentioned in the games once, and that’s from riley, one of the sinnoh quartet, on iron island. in the movie where the concept is introduced, it’s brought with a lucario, another region. in the anime, riley has an active role in aura. but, for those who’ve just played the games, or know next to nothing abt pokemon, i tried to explain my best in-story. 

aura takes the place of conquerors haki in this pokemon verse, basically. you’re born with the sensitivity to it, so it’s not something just everyone can unlock. it’s rare, and it’s widely unknown. like law says, in sinnoh it’s considered an old myth. outside of sinnoh, it’s hardly known at all. so finding others to learn from is difficult. most people go their whole lives without even knowing what it is, just considering it natural luck that they can perceive things than others cannot. luffy meeting shanks, and learning that they both are sensitive to aura, is an incredible thing. having someone to teach you how to manipulate aura rare, and pretty amazing, when you think of the chances. but luffy and shanks live in different regions, and luffy has his own life. it’s been a long time, training, and as he expresses in part 2, he’s still not as far as he wants to be.

aura guardians, what shanks is, are almost unheard of. with great power comes great responsibility. and with great power comes the desire to obtain it. aura guardians are secret for a reason -if someone found out a person had an incredible power, and had the desire to, would they not seek it out for themselves? even to other aura users, revealing themselves wasn’t wise. protect yourself first. it’s a motto you’ll see come into play later.

with that said, and with one of the last things luffy mentions in part 2: could that have something to do with why shanks has gone missing?

[palmett-hoes]

hey sry to jump on a short vent post but i've seen this sentiment expressed a lot bc andrew is a rlly hard character to capture so i've put a lot of thought into coming up with some theories and processes on how to break it down:

1.) like 80% of andrew's 'dialogue' is nonverbal. if he doesn't HAVE to talk he would prefer not to. you'll get a lot more mileage out of describing his physical movements than on trying to write dialogue

2.) blunt statements, very few if any questions. he prefers to phrase questions as statements and commands, you can respond to them how you like. so like if neil were acting upset andrew wouldn't say "do you want to talk about it?" he would say "talk." and maybe an insult

3.) try to pare down your phrases to the bare minimum. he won't say three words where one will do, and he never clarifies what he means by a statement. if you don't understand what he means that's your problem. however, he also tends not to use contractions, so 'do not' instead of 'don't', 'i am' instead of 'i'm.' this fluctuates and isn't a hard-and-fast rule, but is more prominent the more serious he is

3.) on a meta-level, give andrew access to insider information on other characters that it might not fully make sense for him to know. not as much "who was where when?" kind of knowledge, more "why?" knowledge. imagine he's like,, 15% psychic and allow him to know other characters' fears, desires, and motivations and how that will inform their actions. also don't get hung on on explaining why he knows these things, it'll only muddle you up

4.) make his statements just,,, so cryptic. if the statement immediately makes sense go back and make it make a little less sense. watch nbc's hannibal for reference of bizarre and nonsensical statements. from a strictly structural standpoint a lot of andrew's statements switch or don't clarify the subject of the sentence, or make a vague or over-arching statement in response to a specific instance. so like if he and neil are discussing someone's actions they didn't like, he'll say some weird bullshit like "man is a beast that feeds on cruelty instead of flesh" instead of "yea that was fucked up he shouldn't have done that." really just try to channel the energy of every weird and foreboding tumblr post you've ever read. that post about mushrooms that ends like "you cannot kill me in any way that matters?" that mickey mouse comic that's like "will you fight? or will you perish like a dog?" that's the energy

5.) andrew likes classic movies! andrew makes movie references in his dialogue! not a ton but several, especially in less serious, indirect, "ambient" scenes, like if he's just chatting or being snarky. like he calls neil pinocchio, he quotes The Fugitive (good movie, fits andrew's character very well. john mulaney has like a five minute bit at the end of The Comeback Kid where he talks about it). now if you're not a classic film buff though? if you don't watch and quote oscar winning movies on the regular, if there's a movie you know that fits your Vibe but you haven't actually seen it (like the Godfather. classic film. i think andrew would like it but i'm not watching a four hour movie for a throwaway line in a one-shot). well good news there's this great cheat called 'the internet' and 'listicles.' when i write for andrew i often pull up an extra tab and google things like 'greatest movies of all time' 'cult classics' 'best movie lines' 'iconic film characters' 'Godfather 2 quotes' and click whatever comes up, which'll usually have a quick blurb that gives you the context, Vibe, and cultural impact. pick whatever fits best for the scene without being too picky and throw it in. boom, now your dialogue fits AND you seem like someone who's cultured and knows about filme because you know that the horse in the Godfather's name was Khartoum bc you took 30 seconds to check the wiki

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so yea op i hope this helps you work through some of your difficulties writing for andrew, and anyone else who sees this who's struggled with the same thing too, bc i think it's the #1 writing complaint and insecurity i've seen from aftg writers

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EDIT: almost forgot one of the essential, most fundamental parts of andrew's dialogue

6.) he's a bastard. just the worst. if there's an opportunity to say something bitchy he will take it and he aims straight for the nads. be as mean as possible. he's also funny as hell but it's a super dry, super bitchy kind of humor. my friend brought up that a line of dialogue from the ec where andrew first meets renee is

- "i'm sorry"

- "i've heard"

and that's so fucking funny! what a bitch

Trying to write Andrew Minyard dialogue/voice is single-handedly the hardest literary exercise I’ve ever had to do.

[mika-shion]

I think it's safe to say I've changed... Or maybe this is just how I've always been and it took until now to notice. I know I shut myself off from everything when I was younger to cope w stuff, but I'm pretty sure I always liked making people happy. Now I just feel like no matter what I do, I'm being selfish. I know that's okay sometimes, and I guess it's just cuz I'm sick of how long I was forced to be a people pleaser. I feel like I always have so little to give, everything is draining in some way or another and it hurts. I always took pride in the fact that I could make people happy, I love seeing people smile or hear them laugh, but lately I feel like I'm only concerned with making myself happy. I desperately wish I was more independent so I could finally work up to living on my own. But that always seems incredibly far off since I can't see myself getting another job, let alone keeping it. My last one was an absolute embarrassment and I don't think I can go through that again. I'm honestly scared that I'm only gonna drag everyone else around me down like my filthy father. I don't wanna be him, and I can't imagine hurting the ones I love and care for the way he did. I'd sooner die than put anyone through that... And yet I'm scared that that's where I'm going. Everyone says I'm a good or decent person, but how can I believe them when my actions seem to SCREAM the exact opposite. So many gd "what if"s or "if I had only"s racing through my head, but none of it matters now... I can only focus on the future... and it looks bleak and terrifying. I'm embarrased to admit any of this cuz, as of right now, there's next to nothing I can do about most, if not all, of it. I'm sorry for the vent so late at night, just had a lot on my mind the past few weeks. That usually tends to happen when I stumble across someone who has their life together better than I do... Christ I hope I'm not jealous, that'd be stupid... Okay sry, I gotta try to sleep now. Tyvm if you read this, I'll probably delete it tomorrow idk Sleep well everyone, hope you have a lovely day tomorrow!~✨💕🌸 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIAVWVnMRnS/?igshid=6g0gvwb45y8g

[little-smol-mort-blog]

OOC

*k sry I need to vent. So my church has this program that’s like a sports/chapel thing that they do for kids 5-13 and like I was just looking it up and I found this article about them not being able to buy a piece of property or whatever. Like no big deal, I was about to click off when I started reading some of the comments. Like people were calling it a cult!!! Like really? A cult? Like they were arguing that they brainwashed your kids and that everything there is horrible or whatever. Like what the hell? Just because the program is smaller then others and it’s Christian based doesn’t mean it’s a fucking cult! Like its no big secret that it’s a Christian organization. It’s not brain washing it’s just raising your kids the way you feel is right. Raising a child in a religion isn’t brain washing, if that’s brain washing then I guess all parenting is brain washing. Everyone raises their kids to have the same values and beliefs as themselves. Everyone teaches their kids to believe what they think is right and wrong. Like these people have little to no experience with this program and they’re calling my friends and family cult members? Like I’m sorry but fuck you ok? You want a cult? Try “Children of God” or the “Carpet Cult” or the KKK. Cults have creepy inscestuous shit and they block themselves off from the outside world. This program is offered to anyone who wants to join and they don’t “block” themselves off. If you wanna join you can and if you wanna leave you can. ITS LITERALLY JUST A SPORTS PROGRAM FOR KIDS DONT OVERTHINK IT!!!*

[10gravity]

long post, personal//

Something I’ve kinda realized now (after what…. 6 years now?) is that I keep coming back to this website bc it’s somewhere I can vent and now it’s at the point where I feel compelled to vent here and nowhere else. I mean, yeah, there is the fact that this is literally the only piece of Internet space I have that isn’t connected to ANY irl people at all but? I don’t know if this is healthy anymore tbh, like…. I have a best friend?? I have someone I call best friend and someone who calls me best friend but how do I call her that when I don’t even tell her half the personal shit that goes on with me all the time? I’ve been questioning myself for years and years if I had depression ever since I found out the thing existed?? I have so many untold stories and pent-up feelings abt my mother and my friends and my self-image that I just,,, keep totally locked up and away from everyone I know irl. I feel comfortable telling internet strangers so many things but lately I’ve been wondering: well, why? Why is that?

I feel ok telling tumblr followers just bc people don’t interact with me. I don’t talk to people on a regular basis here, I don’t reach out, people don’t send me asks and I just? Stay isolated. I’m not even saying this to blame anyone like that’s literally just a me thing. God knows how many text posts I’ve ever scrolled past lmao. It’s hard to reach out and get personal on this site.

But then it’s like, well, okay….. why is THAT then? Why do I need to know I won’t get a response when I talk about myself? Do I only feel comfortable talking abt my feelings when I can pretend I’m not actually talking to another person, that no one’s actually there to listen?? Because I can’t even handle talking about my most personal feelings to strangers that I know won’t judge me so it can’t just be the fear of being judged holding me back. Ik it’s there lmao I’m just saying it’s not the /only/ thing, ya know? I want conversation with someone I’ve known for a while and feel totally comfortable around but I know what the fucked up thing is? I don’t actually have a person like that. It’s the strangest thing, it’s like internally engrained in me - oops no can’t talk to ppl that don’t know you they can’t fully get it if they don’t actually know you irl…. but at the same time i would rather actually choke then ever tell an irl person abt anything ever?? The closest I’ve gotten were fucking terrifying and only cause they happened to catch me in the middle of being too upset to care??

But back to my point,,,,, I guess what I’m getting at is that I think I’m realizing that I’m kind of in this self-made box rn bc I don’t want to talk to irl ppl abt Things bc they know me but I don’t want to talk to internet ppl abt Things bc they don’t know me like wtf knowing me or not can’t be the only reason but idk! what! that other reason is supposed to be!

And idek if I should stay on tumblr anymore bc on one hand it’s how I cope, and this account is much better (I went back the other day and holy crap I had such a depressing dash?? My personal tag is LOADED on that thing) but on the other hand idk how much it contributes to me letting myself get immersed in Sad bc boy oh boy is it real easy to look up so many emo posts…. haha….. I mean, I’m glad that I decided to remake as a full-time exo blog bc I just focus on pretty pictures of ppl I like and dumb memes and screaming about exo legends only instead of worrying abt which irl person is gonna go “why is there a kpop boy on my dash” and which person is gonna see my personal reblogs and scroll past again or maybe respond or /now/, if _____ is gonna see even though we both blocked each other and I haven’t been on in months :^)))))))))))

And idk why exactly I’m deciding to post this here instead of my private side blog lmao (yes….. I even have one of those in a space where no one knows me irl gjdksksks) but I guess I’m just trying smthg new? I’ve never really shared my thought process in a long ass post like this before and also I’m kinda feeling weird oddly un-feely kind of funky rn so maybe that’s also that at work here lmao 😂 I do this on peach all the time so I guess I could do it here? Idk. I’ve been considering starting up a journal again to keep more of my thoughts offline and maybe help with getting less attached to my phone…. if I don’t need to vent online then I don’t need to reach for tumblr & peach every single time something happens right?? Idk. Journals can’t really keysmash back at me :/ also they’re not around n available 24/7 sooo :/

Idk. You’re not obligated to like this. If you’ve read this far (LOL sry) bc ur like me,,,, a curious bicth,,,, you don’t have to like or whatever I’m literally just putting this out here for the sake of having it out here.