#specifically on my lower back
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ibuprofen gel save me. save me ibuprofen gel.
#specifically on my lower back#soooo glad my shoulders and neck have calmed down now#no idea what happened or why they were in agony#jaz rambles#jaz vents#chronic pain#chronic illness
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no worries if not! but perchance would we be able to get a wip wednesday?
#enjoy #🔪
#sorry for taking one million years to write this i have been in the trenches for the last two weeks#the mariana trench to be specific#for reference i moved back in w my family 1.5 weeks ago and therefore have been actively fighting for my life every single day#getting 10.2 out has unfortunately been lower on my list of priorities than i would like#so apologies for constantly pushing it back!#but considering my embarrassingly high cry count of the last 12 days i think im doing very well#asks#a cruel wednesday with you
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Finally done with my version of The Universe's design!
#ariart#isat#isat spoilers#the creechur... btw the stuff written on their back veil are lyrics (chaos version) to fleeting words and beautiful song#they have a mouth. but itd be best for em not to use that. i like to think that the Universe communicates via telepathy#cuz if they use their own mouth itd be like an absolute order that cant be broken (like how wishes are granted via wish craft)#the rest of their body is meant like-- a tree trunk. cuz world tree and all that! also favour tree!#hollow stomach with a single floating star aaannd the lower part of the back veil is meant to be a butterfly when whole#yes those are two faces as well. drawing the lines for that nearly made me lose my mind a lil. the angle was painful...#it aint as obvious but the stars (egg and rectangle specifically) dangling on the front veil is morse code for i love you#also in a way the reason why i decided to make their middle pair of hands in that form is that inside their palm is the country#north of vaugarde. so its like theyre holding the country protectively. a star formed to keep anyone from lookin in!
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people hated shadows game and mocked it endlessly calling it one of the worst sonic games ever made for years and saying shadow himself is a cringe edgelord but im calling it now the second the trailer for sonic 3 drops and shadow as a character becomes relevant in the eyes of the general public those same people are gonna suddenly decide that its cool to like shadow now motorcycle and guns and swear words and all and the game will start selling for 200 dollars minimum on ebay . 70 dollars for just the case or manual. 500 for all 3
#prices for older 3d sonic games are already getting kinda bad but i just know that the prices for sa2 and shth specifically#are gonna go from bad to nightmareish the second shadow is in a big popular movie#glad i got most of my physical copies of sonic games a few years ago when prices for secondhand games were a lot lower ..#actually i never did get physical copies of sa1 and 2 just digital#because even back then the prices for those were kinda high compared to other games. but if i had know just how mcuh they would rise#i probably would have gotten them back then ... and i kinda want them now but i dont like the prices im seeing#but i also know theyre only gonna get worse from here. SAD
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ARMYs are really just burnt out and I don’t think the rapid fire pace of releases has helped anything. It’s amazing as a fan to get all this music, but the expectation to chart everything I think is unrealistic and kind of overwhelming. People just don’t have that kind of time, energy, or money to go all out for every comeback when they happen every other month, sometimes several in a single month. It especially doesn’t help if ARMYs aren’t feeling the song, and I don’t think they’ve felt quite a bit of CH2 music.
I have longer thoughts on all this, but I just have so much annoyance towards some chart ARMYs and their unrealistic expectations and their refusal to acknowledge that the current organized fandom streaming power isn’t what they think it is. Another big wave of HL victimization (but sometimes TH is also included??) from ARMYs and it just opened the doors for so much resentment and hatred to be thrown towards jkk but especially Jimin. It was really disturbing to go and block these people & find I had 5-10+ moots following each time. It’s really out of control.
I’m just tired of this RL discourse while they ignore the twenty elephants in the room that explain why the streams are where they are (and no it’s not because “ARMYS hate RL”.). Instead they just throw these tantrums that further divide an already deteriorating and toxic fandom. I don’t know what it will take for them to understand that a fandom that doubled with Dynamite is going to prefer pop music, and that the majority of ARMYs are in fact not zombie streamers but fans who casually listen to the music that appeals to them. Not to mention the fact that a lot of ARMYs aren’t even active right now, so many of them have been dropping off and waiting for BTS to return as a group.
It really just keeps getting worse and worse in ARMY spaces. I’m pretty sure active ARMYs are about 90% diet solos at this point. It’s extremely messed up what a lot of them can get away with saying and not get canceled or called out for. It’s also just this hyper-fixation on drama, shooter accounts, NewJean’s, MHJ, raging against whatever fandom approved villain of the month, trending pointless hashtags for random reasons, and then being shady and resentful because of these arbitrary goals they set that are often influenced by using Jimin as a goalpost.
#discourse#just a little fandom rant#wanted to be present for NJs comeback#but yeahhhhh#definitely shouldn’t have come back to this side of the fandom#they’re genuinely intolerable sometimes#most of the time actually#they’re really going to chase all the good people out#maybe they already have#and some of the nasty stuff i was seeing about JM yesterday was unreal#ARMYs are entirely to blame for the solo and diet problem too btw#just like they are with tkkrs#but i wont get into all that rn#alright sorry#back to ignoring the fandom mess#ahdgljhadslghsdg#just remembered something else i read that pissed me off#but im going to stop myself 😩#vent series#wait actually one last point in my tags#but RL streams arent even that low#its because they lost sight of what our normal streams ACTUALLY look like#because theyre comparing everyone to jkk#and specifically jm#even though they pretend theyre not pitting the members against each other#like how on earth can you complain about THs streams??#its neglect if any member is lower than JM??#im gonna write another post about JM being the goalpost one day lol
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️
Hi @kasienda! Thanks for the ask! 🩷
True Blue - It's not even that close. This is my baby, the AU I've put the most effort into and gotten the best response to. I got to crank up Gabriel's villainy and then had to put myself in his shoes in order to get Marinette to join his side (even just for a while). It was a challenge (still is, since it's not finished yet) that I really enjoyed, and I've loved the comments I've gotten on it! I really adore it when I can know that I'm not the only one who loves my fics, and this is one of the fics that allows me that security.
it's them (again) - Recency bias, partially! The idea for this fic was just so fun to work with, and it required more thought than your average AU since it doesn't really intersect with canon at all. I had to create a whole new world, and limit what I showed for simplicity. I think it worked pretty well! It still doesn't have many hits on AO3 compared to my other works, but I think it's just the side effect of locking my fics (what can I say, I don't enjoy AI stealing my work). When few people respond to my works (like with this one) it makes it harder for me to enjoy them, because I feel like I did something wrong. But this one was born in specific circumstances that allow me to at least temporarily overlook its response, and I think it has a unique charm that I'll keep liking. Plus, for a low number of hits, there's a high corresponding rate of kudos and bookmarks on this fic, which I do find encouraging
Centuries Overdue - Another fun AU to work with! I enjoy writing things that make me think and plan and scheme, I guess. Plus I got to work with two artists on it!! This fic (historical and modern, unique magic elements, plot twist-reliant) was unlike any others I'd written, so it forced me to try new things and grow as a writer. I think it turned out pretty well!
The Bedbug Problem - The last Ladrien fic I had a real blast writing! This was for the ml secret santa exchange, and while I haven't heard whether the fic's recipient liked it, I did, at least. I had fun trying to include certain elements I hoped the recipient would like as well as the ones that would drive the story forward. It always helps when you have similar tastes to the person you're writing for, because it feels like it's partially your gift, too!
Stealing Freedom - This was the first fic I wrote that got a lot of attention (by my standards) and it's one that was a lot of fun to write! It's another fic that was a new style for me at the time and that required me to kind of scheme as I worked my way to the perfect ending. I think I struck a pretty good balance of angst and hurt/comfort where Adrien and Marinette's love for each other basically saves the day, which is one of my favorite things to read. I was really glad that other people liked it, too!
#ask game#rosie-b writing#writer insecurity ig#here's some more of it :)))#i know hits aren't really a measure of how good a fic is. but it sucks ass to put so much work in and get so little back sometimes#sometimes i just want more than one person to like the fic enough to comment. especially if it's not a specific non-love square-centric au#sometimes I just want to know i'm not screaming into a void and getting laughed at#sorry these tags are so down it's just been a subpar summer for writing. subpar year really#and despite it I do still love my writing! i just hate feeling stupid for that#and i didn't rely on hits/kudos to let myself pick my favorite fics!! most of these are not my top-hit/kudosed fics!! i love all my fics#i just don't always feel like other people do. and that lowers my confidence in writing more and liking what i've written in the past#i'll still love my work if it gets a cool response. just not as much. i'm left feeling stung when i look at it instead of proud#i’m giving self love my best shot here but my feelings on my fanfics have been mixed for a while#sorry#i do appreciate the chance to look back at what i've written and feel at least some pride
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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:
Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#lok malina#still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now#and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that#don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before#to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021#because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing#but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence#anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character#for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop#I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like#I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her#if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet#okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself#lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer#about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long#this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh#I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out#*surprising#less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know#anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous#her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this#and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning#I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb#okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
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I do think the wildest part of the Skyrocket/Connie concept is that Visaggio seemed to legitimately believe that Kon-El is like... a D-List superhero. Which is just like, a wild thing to believe considering the Comic Kon won in a fan poll hadn't even finished coming out at the time she pitched her idea.
#dc comics#dccomics#superboy#kon el#Like if she was maybe 15 years younger I'd get it? Because that'd be growing up on 2010s comics where Kon didn't have a book for most of it#But like Kon was in books during the 90s. He was in books during the 2000s. He was in books until like 2014?#And then he came back in 2019 and got a book again.#Kon's at worst a lower c-tier character but probably more like upper C-tier?#Constantly in adaptations pretty consistently in or has a comic.#The big periods where Kon hasn't been in comics is like 'Kon was killed because of stuff happening in editorial or on a corporate level'#Like it's from 2006 to 2009 (dead) and then 2014-2019 (Dead + weird N52 stuff).#Arguably Kon was sort of not in comics between the end of Bendis YJ and then YJDC... But he did have appearances.#Also there were like 8 events during that time and frankly Suicide Squad was using Match which I'll count.#Kon doesn't always have a solo book but he tends to have one more often than lots of other characters.#Even when not in a solo he still tends to be in team or Superman books.#Will add that I don't oppose Kon being trans conceptually and I've given my thoughts on that specific outline for a story before.#I just think in future check that a character is a D-list character before deciding to do a massive reinvention
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Special Counseling (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#DAX#These are especially funny to me because I remember when I first looked through the gallery and was Deeply Distressed at ZEX like this#I didn't know the context yet so the betrayal was uncomfortable! As intended but unexpected haha ♪#I love ZEX! Why would he do such a thing! Now I know <3 <3 And now I'm doing the same thing! Lol#The thought of ZEX never getting his own body again even for just a night even on the Institute's side ah it hurts#At least he'd finally have visual proof that it's Possible he never even saw Tanaka so for all he knows it was just another ''vision''#But of DAX <3 Of him getting his body back but turning on ZEX about it ough ♥ And the fallout!! Agh!!!#The setups the payoffs <3 <3 <3#I wrote a bit more for both scenarios actually - of DAX actually pointing a laser pistol at ZEX and threatening to kill him#Thus why ZEX is questioning him the next day - was that brainwashing or would you really do that??#ZEX of course wouldn't have flinched at the time - and DAX's motivation either way that this is a fate unbefitting of his Admiral#''He lowered his head feelers in a sympathetic way. 'I can hardly stand to watch you waste away in that form. If you would ask it of me...''#Weh ;;#Can you tell it's a bit inspired by We Do What is Necessary hehe <3#Which btw you've read right it's so good everyone needs to read it <3#Remind me to make a separate post about that one actually I had the oddest reread experience :3c Fascinating ✨#Anyhow lol#I actually like how I've written their next-day meetup after DAX returns to his senses more than I've drawn it hm :P#I think it's a specific line that sticks out to me - VUX communication through human bodies my beloved ;;♥#''He ran a hand down DAX's arm - a poor approximation of the gesture he was trying to emulate but he was sure DAX would understand.#They'd exchanged it enough times before.'' Hhhhhh ❤️💕💖💞💗 ;;/♥ I love them <3 <3#Also forehead touches and holding face and hands and jfdsalkfd the tenderness and loyalty aghhahgah <3#I really like the idea of VUX lacing fingers with each other as a kind of twining/head tendrils holding replacement ♥#The most intense one-eyed eye contact hehe <3
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Today is a... "I'm going to read as much as I can" day
#for the past few days I've been getting 300-1000ish words a day#Just to get back in the swing of things#Except yesterday in which case I ended up studying French for two hours (... Accident.) and then through sleep deprivation had a Massive#migraine#I get the feeling sleep deprivation Will be a thing today too HOWEVER. However.#I'm going to be just... Reading through a bunch of stuff I like.#Specifically my husband's book+rereading a little bit of bsd+rereading a little bit of Pandora Hearts#does it count as rereading if I haven't touched it since like. 2008. does it really.#at this point I might as well consider PH Fresh Eyes#I did remember a lot more than I expected to though#ANYWAYS that's aside the point#I would like to reread part of SBG and Lumine too but those are lower on the list rn @_@#Ainsley.txt
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bellum x linebeck chapter summary drafts that won those polls:
chapter 8
chapter 14
chapter 20
#bellum x linebeck#salty talks#tag works. anyways three chapter drafts and they have alt texts and the alt texts are sliiiiightly different form the actual text#as in i have 'pov' written as 'point of view' and fixed a typo in chapter 8#love that chapter 14 starts with anyways linebeck is running away from something. bc this is a chapter draft there is no elaboration#bc on my end its just. ok scroll back up to chapter 13. there it is#lil hint of. some. larger plot but not really. i can elaborate on anything related to these three and i am down to#but i dont rlly want to get specific abt any other chapters or story things. or at least dont ask me to if i want to do that i'll make#some sloppy salty talks text post talking in probably too much detail abt some fic thing im working on#not to be. like that. but im a lil sad that none of the ones here are any one of the ones with more fun comments in them#theres not a lot and theyre mostly in the latter drafts so far#my favorite is verbatim 'idk while dicking around he swallows some water'#i consider 'comments' to be the bits in parenthesis so theyre like notes for myself to keep in mind details a layer lower than the basic#plot stuff or just reminders and the one thats my favorite iirc was just like. fuck i need to figure out why this happens. and.#it solves my problem and i like seeing it there bc i think its silly#anyways here u go. three of them. there was a fourth person going along with the polls for a bit#and i personally have like. pet theories on who yall are so if the fourth person eventually wants to ask for whatever chapter draft they#were gonna vote for i wouldnt rlly mind sharing it bc with how it turned out i do feel a lil bad that that fourth person is left out kinda#my writing
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Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
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.
#im to embarassed to talk abt him but omg im gonna EXPLODE#cutest boy EVER in the world EVER EVER EVER#his cute glasses and his pretty eyes and his smile lines and crows feet and the way the hairs at the front curl into a heart shape#the way he sits and the way he stands and the way he talks to his family and the way the big t shirts he wears sits on his waistband and#hes insecure about his body and his acne but hes literally so gorgeous I have no idea why he is#goddddd cutest boy in the worldddd i like him so much it makes me feel sick#at prom (26th june) he tied some loose fabric around my wrist and its still there now#his jeans i see him wear all the time cus theyre his favourite like he has favourite jeans im àaaaaaaaaaa#the way he throws his head back when he laughs and the specific “ha-HAA” laugh he does when he isnt expecting it#his stupid chai latte that he really likes#how he always has to say goodnight 3 times before he stops talking#how he uses the purple heart emoji rather than the regular ones#i had a dream once that we were laying in my bed when everyone was asleep just whispering and giggling and he left in a hurry back to-#wherever he was staying and we were laughing and when the door clicked behind him i just felt so light#UGH HES SO CUTE#his big dramatic expressions and how everything becomes a story#the stupid facial expression he pulls where his tongue goes out and hos eye brows arch when he makes any kind of dance move#the way he giggles when hes about to make a joke#(richie tozier voice) CUTE CUTE CUTE#omg his VOICE. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god man. oh god. help me. god be with me. please.#hes playing troy bolton rn so he keeps singing HSM and im just AAAAAAA I CANT. I CANTICANTICANT#the way his instinct is to grab my wrist/lower arm/hand whenever anything happens#OAIAHAUAGAH GUYS. GUYS I WILL NOT SURVIVEEEEE#his eyes are like. slanted? idk how to describe it but theyre lower on the outside and theyre soooooo gorgeous#ughhh both his eyes and hair are like so-dark brown theyre nearly black and its so fucking pretty i cant do this#at prom i had to lean in to talk to him & vice versa and at some point we were sat towards eachother with his legs kinda like barricading-#mine yk. ugh. he was so sweet and so cute the whole time. like helping me walk in the heels and opening doors for me and following me around#UGHHHH I CANT. GUYS. HELP.#☕#beverly says stuff
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Weirdly nothing motivates me to clean more than talking about wedding stuff with my fiancé. Got the dining room in some semblance of order and mopped and all while on call with him
#altho was rummaging under the sink for a specific scrubby#and something happened with my knee where it felt like it was. sideways ???#like some important part of my knee went slid to the side#and it was horrible and i just tried to lower myself to a sitting position without pulling it totally out of place#and eventually there was a sickening popping noise and it was fine again#🤢#i hate dislocations i hate subluxations i hate hypermobility when im just getting a damn scrubby from the sink#anyway. very tired now but i moved everything out to mop#so now the living room is in total disarray#n i need to put it back at least before i get back to weaving
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Okay and? The canon s5 outfits sucked, we did Not get good post canon nygmobs idk 🤷♀️
at least I feel robbed of decent menswear anyway
#We could've had Oswald in fur. Again#We could have at least had a fat suit that fit him properly and looked like a human body#dont get me wrong im glad he's canonically fat but we also could have had no fat suit at all bc the effect was ugly and those are demeaning#I keep wondering if the budget got slashed for Pennyworth to be made off the back end of it#Because otherwise I don't understand like. Costume departments have clothes that are both higher and lower quality and#Could be spun either way#need people to get out of my ear telling me the show sucks tbh#I think I would not like Gotham if it were Actually good#Except for the misogyny I very specifically wish Gotham didn't hate women so much#My series rewrite is exactly the same except women are treated better#Note: I do not have a series rewrite because I don't care abt anything going on in the show except whatever penguin is doing#And a rewrite would require me to care about something else
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i love that my physical therapist has told me exactly Why I'm getting so much pain and how to fix it (nerves getting trapped in too tight muscles) but man i hate that fixing the problem (stretches and massaging around the trapped nerve) takes So Long and so much patience
#I've been fighting my lower back and right shoulder and both biceps for weeks now#there's a specific spot in my lower back that repeatedly gets trapped#and my biceps have literally been like this for so damn long that i stopped registering the pain part#like it felt like my biceps were bruised 24/7 when i touched them but otherwise i didn't notice#until i realised that my muscles had gotten so tight they were just like. HARD. like you know when you flex and they get stiff#it was just like that Always i still have a large section that's still wound up even though I've been trying to loosen it for weeks#most of it is better and it's not Hard and doesn't feel like a bruise as much but it still needs. a lot of work#most of this is from stress and trauma i just physically lost the ability to relax#(so hey if you feel like you have similar issues. get a muscle scraper tool and maybe do some yoga it Genuinely helps A Lot)#the spots that feel bumpy or gravelly are tight muscles and the places that feel like bruises are usually trapped nerves#at least that's what I've been told#just massage the muscle a bit with the scraper and do some stretches for that area and then ice it#the ice is important you need to make sure your muscles can recover properly from the strain of being moved after being so tightly wound#obligatory im not a doctor this is just the advice my physical therapist has given me and i just like to put information out there#in case someone like me just doesn't have the resources and knowledge to help themselves where they can#if i had learned these things sooner i might not have had some permanent nerve damage from all this#turns out your muscles can get tight enough that they eventually just kill your nerves a bit if it goes untreated for so long#and muscle damage that also happens
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