#specifically I wanted to be a counselor or therapist

[coiled-dragon]

Ive long since given up the idea that I can fix everyone. Ive given up the idea that I can fix ANYONE. Because it's not my job no matter how hard I felt like it was my job, that I existed ONLY to fix things and make things better for anyone but myself.

Plus. You cant fix someone. You just cant. As fun as it is to say 'haha I Can fix them' (we all know its a hyperbole, a joke about a fictional character, but I fear some people believe in it) like we cant.

But there is one thing we can do and its to offer a safe place for people to feel comfortable. And thats what ive slowly spent my time becoming. I am me, and I worked on bettering myself and learning how to work boundaries (work in progress tbh) but in that journey I worked to be a safe place for people. 'Cause I think a lot of the time, that's what I needed in life. Not someone who agreed with me all the time, not someone hellbent on fixing ME, just... a safe place

Thats all I wanna be, and its a goal that requires constant learning. But god, I love to fucking learn, and if I can make a little corner of the internet feel nice and safe for someone, its worth it.

[savage-rhi]

MAGENTA.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

it’s contemplating if i should change my major even though i’m graduating in december hours….. again

[pepprs]

hi update as of an hour ago i have a THERAPIST!!! an actual licensed therapist!!!! we have our first session on monday 😭💗

[loassbarbie]

"my wishes are conflicting and I don't know what to manifest" - stop "building a masterplan" right. now.

(if you're struggling with manifesting different things - an sp, a career, because you think they should match: this is for you.)

Before anything else: you need to have a heart-to-heart with yourself.

Now, ever since I was a teenager I do it in the bathroom. That's right. I sit on the toilet and have endless conversations with myself. I play two characters: myself and myself as a therapist (what would I say to this person if they came to me for advice?). When I'm "portraying" the therapist, I do it with an open heart; "those are not my problems, I'm just listening to someone else, so I can be fully honest with them" (if that makes sense). Like REALLY find that counselor inside your mind; they are there, they just need to be called. It's like doing self-parenting work to heal from mother/father wounds.

I had a heart-to-heart with myself last night. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety regarding what I actually wanted, specially career-wise and "how that related to my sp". Here are some "highlights" of what my inner therapist told me.

WHY exactly do you want this career? What is your TRUE motivation for wanting this?

Me: "I am extremely focused on an sp right now, an sp who doesn't know me. A celebrity. So I keep trying to find the jobs that will give me the biggest chance to run into him. I want to become someone he admires."

Well, you say you believe in this law (of Assumption), right? Then why aren't you practicing it? The law says it is done. Doesn't matter how, or where, or why, you already have it. If you manifest that your sp is crazy for you no matter what you do for a living, if you manifest you two are together, if you have it in your 4D, if you REALLY have it on your 4D (if you can feel it, if you can live it in your mind, if thinking about it makes you happy, if you KNOW you have it because 4D IS THE REALITY), the Universe will make it reflect on your 3D, not you! Stop trying to generate situations, it's a lot simpler than you think: assume and continue assuming. It's done. It already happened. It'll reflect on your 3D one way or the other; it is not your job to choose/plan how or where or why it'll happen, it just will! In fact, if you keep doubting it will happen because you don't know EXACTLY the circumstances in which it will, this means you are doubting! And if you persist on your doubt, you are not persisting on your assumption. The doubt is taking control of your mind, not allowing you to persist on your assumption. If you don't ASSUME IT'S DONE, THEN I'M SORRY, BUT IT REALLY ISN'T! Trying to DIY the law (picking careers, fixing ways to get near your sp) is NOT TRUSTING THE LAW WORKS.

Now that you've realized you don't need to follow a specific path to have your sp, what exactly do YOU wanna do? What is that career that makes your heart beat faster, that makes you shiver; what is your dream job? Don't consider any other factors; forget about your sp, don't reminisce about it being "hard to get", don't think about money. And SPECIALLY don't think "what will I do if it doesn't work?" - that doubt is exactly what is going to keep you from living it. Think about that. What do you truly want to do? What do you want to do the most? If you take a minute to eliminate every obstacle society has invented for you, you'll find that answer inside of you.

Stay true to your heart and trust the process.

That's really all it takes. No masterplan, no connecting the dots. That is the Universe's job, not yours.

[fxirysforesight]

Future Career Pick A Card

Directions: Take 3 Mindful Breaths and Pick The Work Set-Up That Attracts You The Most!

Disclaimer: This is a general reading. It may not resonate for everyone and that's okay! If you are having trouble choosing a pile, take a minute to relax and then try again.

Pile One:

What Career Path Is Pile One Looking To Go Into?

Judgment, 9 of Cups, 4 of Swords

I feel like this is my Legal Studies, Politics, and Healthcare Pile. A lot of you are looking to go into Law or careers where you feel as though you are doing the right thing. You may want to go into careers where you are representing people or being a voice of reason for someone. You all seem to be problem solvers or at least interested in conflict-resolution based careers. Those of you who chose this pile are probably all or nothing people. I don't think a lot of you have any Plan B's or C's. You probably decided very early on what you want to be or do and that's what your heart is set on. You are looking for a career that has everything that you want. A career that fits your wants and needs and is a source of fulfillment for you is ideal Pile One.

These Are Some Careers I See You All Looking To Go Into/Be: Lawyers, Judges, Administration, Healthcare (Doctor or Nurse, a Veterinarian as well), Legal Work, Therapist (Mental Health, Massage, Etc.), Yoga or Meditation Instructor? For some of you, I see jobs where you are the Middle Man like for example a Hiring Recruiter.

What Career Path Is Best For Pile One?

8 of Cups Rx, The High Priestess, Strength

Pile One, you need to go into a career path that you know you won't walk away from. A career path that is sustainable for YOU. Regardless of the pay or whatever other constraints there may be, you need to find a job that satisfies your soul and not just your financial or social needs. I said before how I think that you all may enjoy conflict-resolution careers. It would be best for you all to find a career from which you can learn from or solve problems within. You would likely excel in careers that involve caring for someone or something in some way, shape, or form.

These Are Some Careers I Think You Would Excel In: Healthcare (Doctor, Nurse, Vet, Psychiatrist, Psychologist) Detective Work, Professor or Teacher, Guru, Counselor, Medium, Psychic, Astrologer, Tarot Reader.

Significators: French, Frenchie, or French Tips, Aries, Spring Months (March, April, May), 20+, Dyed Hair, "Not Yet", 444, Libra, 7th House Placements (Specifically Mercury and Sun), Strong Pisces, 12th House Sun or Moon, Moon and Neptune Dominant, Leo or 5th House Placements.

Pile Two: (This Pile was very similar to Pile One. If you felt drawn to that Pile go and give it a read and see if it resonates!)

What Career Path Is Pile Two Looking To Go Into?

5 of Swords Rx, The Star, The Wheel Of Fortune

The first thing I saw and heard was "Giving Back". This is my Humanitarian pile. A lot of you are likely studying or wanting to study Humanitarian Studies. You likely find yourself leaning towards careers or social endeavors that benefit not only yourself but the rest of the world as well. Your ultimate goal in a career is overcoming challenges, compromising or ending a conflict of some sort. You all want to change the world and give the up and coming generations inspiration and hope for a better world to live in. You want renewal. A fresh start.

These Are Some Careers I See You All Looking To Go Into/Be: Public Service, Tech and IT Jobs, Motivational Speakers or Anything To Do With Public Speaking, Freelancers or Non Contract Workers, Nonprofit Organization Workers, Health and Safety Professionals, Human Rights Activists, Scientists, Researchers, Entrepreneurs, Advocates, Social Workers.

What Career Path Is Best For Pile Two?

The Emperor, 4 of Swords Rx, Ace of Wands

Pile Two, you need to go into a career path where you have the opportunity to lead. A career path that offers you stability and structure. A career path that is practical and logical according to your own needs. All jobs will make you feel stress, but I would advise you to enter a career that provides you with the sanctuary you need to rest and recuperate. I feel like those of you who chose this pile get tired or burnt out pretty quick? Extroverts with low social betteries? It would do you well to enter into careers that you see yourself building a future off of. Additionally, for some of you I think jobs that are more hands on and interactive would be better for you. Careers that provide you with passion, action, and excitement!

These Are Some Careers and Career Titles I Think You Would Excel At: Self Employment, CEO's or Bosses, Government Based Careers, Entrepreneurs, Engineers, Military, Managers, Administration, Manual Labor, Tech and IT Jobs, Freelancing, Careers That Allow You To Travel, Sports or Athletics. This Pile has a VERY strong Masculine Energy. A lot of you may find yourselves in Male Dominated Career Paths, and you may have a lot of Masculine Energy in your Natal Charts as well.

Significators: Aries, Leo, Aquarius, Libra, Spanish, 10th House Mercury, 10th House Uranus, Chart Ruler in 11th House, Air and Fire Dominants, Mars in 1st or 10th, Libra Mercury, Sun-Mars and Sun-Saturn Aspects, 555, Aquarius Midheaven and DSC, Uranus Dominant.

Pile Three:

What Career Path Is Pile Three Looking To Go Into?

Queen of Wands, Queen of Cups, Page of Cups Rx

Creative Workers. A lot of you who chose this pile may have struggles or are currently struggling with finding the career path that suits you. You WANT to do a certain career, but you may think that you NEED to do another career because the career you dream of is unrealistic or out of reach or maybe just doesn't fall into your life plans or budget. You are likely searching for a career that you have an emotional connection to. Although money is important to you, you're not really concerned too much about monetary matters, because you know that you can't be happy in a career that doesn't speak to you. You want a career that you get excited about being able to do, a career that allows you to feel as though you are in control of your own life. A lot of you want to work with kids and young people, I can tell.

These Are Some Careers I See You All Looking To Go Into/Be: Elementary School Teachers, Leaders of Some Kind, Child Counselors, Midwives, Nannies, Children's Book Authors, Music Teachers, Singers, Poets, Interior Design, Home Business (Maybe a Daycare), Family Therapist, Realtor or Real Estate. In contrast to Pile Two, there is a lot of Feminine Energy in this pile. You all may find yourselves in Female Dominated career paths and you may have an abundance of Feminine Energy in your chart.

What Career Path Is Best For Pile Three?

King of Swords, The Chariot, Justice

Pile Three, I would advise you all to go into career paths where you have structure and routine. A lot of you who chose this pile have very strong morals and values with all of this watery energy here. You are kind and empathetic but you are also logical and firm. You would do well in a position of authority, where you are allowed to demonstrate and enforce self-discipline and hardwork. You will likely be known for your candor and integrity in your careers pile three. You value honesty and fairness, and it will show regardless of what path you choose. You would thrive in careers that allow you to teach others about the wonders of the World, whatever that may mean to you.

These Are Some Careers and Career Titles I Think You Would Excel At: Counselors, Networking, Mediators, Influencers, Authors, Motivational Speakers, Auditors, Elementary School Teachers, Family Therapists, Behavior Technicians, Children's' Book Authors, Interior Design, Home Businesses, Real Estate.

Significators: "Soon", Cancer, Sagittarius, Gemini, 20+, Fire, Musician, 10th House Sun or Moon, 1st House Moon, Mercury in 9th House, 4th House Stellium, Water Dominant, Pisces Moon, Cancer Midheaven, Libra, Saturnians.

[ohmybueckers]

Never Strangers: Chapter Two

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: drinking, author who is terrible about being consistent with tenses, incredibly down bad main characters (be gentle with Paige and Maya guys, the first love WLW situationship breakup is ROUGH)

Authors note: Not sure exactly how I feel about this chapter, but I feel like it gives a decent amount of context. Prepare for more flashbacks next chapter. Also this is highkey not proofread so … approach with caution there.

August 26, 2023

The drive from Stamford to Storrs is about two hours, traffic permitting. My mom waits approximately 20 minutes before she begins the inevitable interrogation session into the state of my life. More specifically, the train wreck it has become.

“You know, I really think you should consider rejoining mock trial. You loved it for so long, and look how many friends you made.” She rambles, her eyes never leaving I-95. “You probably would have never met Brooke if you hadn’t joined mock trial.”

Brooke and I met as co-counselors at a mock trial summer intensive for high schoolers at Yale the summer after my freshman year of college. Turns out trying to keep track of a bunch of hormonal fifteen year olds is a bonding experience like no other. She quickly became my formerly long-distance best friend and very soon-to-be roommate. 

“I told you, I’ll check it out when I get there.” I say, half telling the truth and half just trying to get her to change the subject. Clearly, my attempt was failing.

“I just want to make sure you’re making the most of college. I know University of Minnesota was not your thing, but I want you to find your why when it comes to Connecticut.”

I sighed. One of the perks of having a therapist as a mother is that you always have someone to listen to your petty problems without judgement. The downside is that she’s always trying to dig deeper, even when I really do not want to. “My why is being close to you. Plus, UConn is close enough to New York.”

“And close to Paige.” This remark nearly makes me choke.

“Mom!”

“Sorry, sorry!” She quickly apologizes, though knowing her she knew damn well what kind of reaction she would receive. I never told her full details of what actually went down between us - maybe because I thought it would be too embarrassing, or maybe because I knew that if she ended up in my mom’s bad graces, there was no coming back from that. All she knew is that at one point we were friends, then we were more than friends, and then things got messed up and we don’t talk anymore. She also knows that I really don’t like talking about it with her. “Does she know you’re coming?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, I didn’t tell her.” 

The last text I had sent Paige was shortly after the basketball player announced she tore her ACL. Despite the tension between us, it felt wrong to say nothing in these circumstances. Basketball was Paige’s world, and I couldn’t even fathom the grief she must have felt. I received a “thank you maya, i hope you’re doing well. miss u” in return. It took everything in me not to call the blonde after reading the last five letters. 

Thankfully, my moms line of questioning ends there, and she returns to the driving playlist we made together the night before, an eclectic mix of 80’s hits with the occasional R&B ballad. Occasionally I hear her sing along, letting the crack of fresh air from the car window flow through her almost-black hair. Some people say I’m basically her twin: same dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin, and short stature. I just wish I got a fraction of her curves.

The rest of the car ride, I alternate between reading the newest Emily Henry book and messaging Brooke, who has been sending me updates on our new apartment. She moved into a couple of days ago while my mom and I were still on our girls trip to New York City, and her texts ranged from “ill give you the room with the ensuite bathroom if i can have the bigger room” (deal) to “our neighbors are FINE” (knowing her taste in men, doubtful). 

After what feels like too long in the car (maybe I never actually got over my tendency to get carsick), we pull into a lot. there it is: My new apartment, a small building surrounded by others similar to it and tall trees, still wrapped in vibrant green hues untouched by the incoming fall. I hear a yell from across the lot as I step out, but I’m so overwhelmed by the new sensations in Storrs that it takes my brain a moment to process that the tall figure running across the lot with a truly impressive speed was my best friend.

Brooke barrels towards me, wrapping me in a hug that nearly tips me over. “About time you got here!” She grabs my shoulders, her white acrylics a comfortably familiar sensation on my skin, before turning to my mom with her award-winning smile. “It’s so good to finally meet you! I’m Brooke. Wow, you could have convinced me you two were sisters. You’re gonna have to give me your skincare routine before you leave.” She gestures to my mom, who giggles. I can tell that her day has been made.

I will never fail to tell Brooke Jones that she is perhaps the most charismatic person I have ever met. When I’m in Mock Trial, I will fight to make my voice heard. Outside of the courtroom, however, I tend to lean on the more reserved side. On the first day of counselor training, it was as if she could sniff out how nervous I was and made it her personal mission to befriend me. And one thing about Brooke: she will make you talk. Somehow I don’t mind it as much when I’m with her. 

So it’s a great sight when Brooke and my mom trail ahead of me, hands filled with various decor items and chatting (I think I hear one of them mention bringing out photos of me in seventh grade, an action I know I will have to intercept later for my own sanity).  

About three hours later, with the hard work of the three of us supplemented by SZA’s discography, my space is set up just enough to where I can sleep comfortably for the next few nights. Brooke pulls my mom in first, after getting her phone number “for emergencies”. Next, it’s my turn. 

“Alright, you know what I’m about to say.”

“We’re not going to throw a party, I know you’re worried about the security deposit.” Behind my mom’s shoulder, I could see Brooke’s brows furrow as she mouthed don’t promise that. 

“No, I meant have fun. Take risks. Find your why,” She grabs my shoulders at the last word for emphasis, and it’s hard to believe that this is my real life and not some after school motivational special. 

We embrace one last time. Despite her cheesy moments, I am reminded just how much I’m going to miss seeing my mom every day. After three years of being in closer proximity to my dad, it was nice to spend the summer in Stamford, my days filled with NYT crossword games by the water and day trips into New York City. This summer solidified that it didn’t even need to be Boston - I was just happier on the east coast. 

“I like your mom, she’s sweet.” I hear Brooke say as we watch the white Toyota leave the parking lot from our third floor window. Our view is perfect, and I picture what it will be like to watch the leaves change from it as the semester goes on. It makes the last few hours of lugging furniture and suitcases up flights of stairs worth it.

“I love her when she’s not trying to psychoanalyze every decision I make,” I chuckle, moving to continue unpacking some miscellaneous items in the kitchen.

Brooke follows me. “Is that what that whole ‘find your why’ thing was about?” 

“Got a whole interrogation in the car. Everyone in my family thinks I’m having some sort of crisis,” I place a stack of plates (a gift from my mom’s boyfriend) in a cabinet. “She even suggested I came here for Paige.”

Brooke stands there, her lips falling into a flat line. She is taking far too long to respond for my preference. My jaw falls, eyes widening. “Stop.”

Brooke lifts her hands in surrender. “Ok, I would be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind.”

My head falls into my hand, fingers pinching the bridge of my nose as my eyes shut. “I swear to god, why does everyone think I chose to go to UConn because of Paige?”

“Maybe because other people definitely have.” Ok, Brooke does have a point. While I have done everything in my power to not think about the blonde, everyone else has been increasingly trying to get in her orbit. I’ve even seen a handful of edits made for her in the past few months as people anticipate her first season back from her injury.

I shake my head. “I’m not that dumb. I’m here for-“

“In-state tuition and to be closer to me and your mom, I know.” Brooke finishes, coming around to wrap one arm around me. It’s her way to both apologize and check in on me. While I appreciate the gesture, a small part of me feels guilty - like I have gotten use to people extending pity to me for one reason or another: my parent’s divorce, the move to Minnesota, Paige, transferring schools. It gets to a point where I just want to win at something.

I lean into her embrace, smelling the citrus in her hair product. “I know I was down bad for a while, but I promise I’m fine.”

I feel Brooke nod above me. “Good, because she’s kinda everywhere on campus. Even if you don’t run into her, people don’t shut up about her.” This was to be expected, a fact I have been preparing myself for months for. I decided it’s just something I’m going to have to get used to, like many things in life.

“Well, why don’t we shut up about Paige and order some food. I’m starving,” I exclaim, moving towards my phone to pull up Doordash. Perhaps my first win can be proving to people that I can thrive at UConn and absolutely not fixate on Paige Bueckers. 

“Okay, okay. You good if we invite my cousin Adria to come over too? She’s chill I swear.” I remember Brooke telling me about Adria last summer, how she was entering her freshman year at `UConn at the time. I nod in agreement, excited to host my first get together in my new space. 

////

Just an hour and a half later, the three of us are sat in the sparsely furnished living room, eating pad thai surrounded by a large collection of boxes. Upon one look at Adria when she stepped through our front door, I could tell her and Brooke were related: both had the same long legs, clear deep complexion and white smiles that looked like they belonged on billboards. Where they differed was in dress: while Brooke wore the same blue sweat set that she helped me unpack in, Adria was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a boho white tank top, a cascade of black and blonde braids down her back and an “A” necklace around her neck. 

Adria is only a sophomore, and yet from the first hour I have known her she appears far more put together than I was at this time last year. It’s evident in the way she talks about her pre-professional sorority, or in the way she talks about getting ahead of internship applications for the next summer. It would almost be irritating if she wasn’t also so charming.

“So what brought you to UConn?” Adria asks me from the other end of the couch. 

“Well, I tried U of M. My dad and his new girlfri… new wife,” The correction felt bitter on my tongue in a way that made me feel guilty. “They live out there, so I got in-state. It just wasn’t for me. I decided to transfer here just in case I still want to go to law school, since my mom lives in-state and I don’t want to go further in debt than I need to.”

“What do you mean if you still want to go to law school?” Brooke questions, her face incredulous. “Wasn’t that your whole plan since you were in, like, fourth grade?”

I love Brooke with everything in me, on the deepest platonic soulmate level there is. I tell her everything - except for the fact that I don’t know if I still want to practice law outside of college. I guess if I said it out loud to her, the girl who I once dreamed of going to law school with, practicing in the same city with before opening a shared practice, it would become more real: that I was seemingly blowing up all I’ve known with no plan B. She already thinks me dropping mock trial is some sign of an incoming mental breakdown.

“I’m just… exploring all of my options.” I muster, though from the furrow in Adria’s brow it must not be as believable as I would have hoped. Judging by the way Brooke’s shoulders appeared to relax, however, it at least worked on her. Eager to switch the attention off of myself, I turn to the younger girl once more. “Adria, what are you studying?”

“I’m kinesiology, trying to become a physical therapist. Maybe do some athletic training?”

Brooke chokes back a laugh, waving her hand. “She’s just saying that because she’s fucking someone on the basketball team.”

If there’s one similarity between Adria and I, it’s the way both of our jaws drop at Brooke’s candor. Her cousin seems particularly taken off guard, throwing her hands up with a, “Jesus Christ, Brooke!”

I can’t help but laugh at the dynamic. “Who is he?”

“She’s on the women’s team.” The word she rings in my ears as my cheeks get hot with embarrassment. I’m literally a lesbian, I thought she was above assuming sexuality based on looks after having it done to me throughout the summer by daddy’s money frat guys in Stamford.  Adria scratched the back of her neck, her cheeks flushing. “Um, KK Arnold?” 

I’ve only seen the name in passing, during a late night scan of the women’s basketball roster that I would never admit to. KK was the new recruit from Wisconsin to my memory … or was it Indiana? 

“She got a job with athletics over the summer. Somehow her and KK crossed paths and they’ve been hooking up since.” Brooke took a bite of her noodles between sentences, filling in the gaps that Adria left. 

“We haven’t even had sex, chill.” Adria held a hand up to her sister, but the shy look never left her face. “KK’s nice though. I think I could really like her, which totally sucks because basketball players aren’t exactly the relationship type.”

“Looks like you both have the same type.” Brooke says through another bite.

Silence falls on the room, followed by a confused “What?” from Adria. 

A part of me wants to be frustrated with Brooke for bringing it up - the last thing I want is to be known at UConn as just a girl who got with the basketball star. However, Adria seems like a kind person, and she did just confide in me about KK. Part of me feels like I owe her an explanation in some sick way. With a sigh, I give her the context. “Brooke is giving me shit because a long time ago, in high school, I kinda had a thing with Paige Bueckers.”

The younger girl looks at me for a beat as if she can’t believe the words that just came out of my mouth. Once she gets a minute to reboot, she explodes “Like Paige Bueckers Paige Bueckers?Holy shit!”

“Don’t say anything, it was a really, really long time ago,” I plea, recognizing that she was acquainted to one of her teammates. Oh god, the last thing I need is KK telling Paige that her … whatever Adria was … told her that her sister’s friend is still hung up on her or something.

“I won’t, I promise.” Adria holds both hands up, a move that must be genetic. “You’re not gonna hit her up now that you’re on her campus?”

“Yeah, I’ll pass,” I say, taking a bite of my own food. I try to ignore the way my stomach flips at how Adria claimed the entirety of University of Connecticut as belonging to Paige somehow. As if there was no room for me. “She may be great at basketball, but that girl does not do emotions.”

“Well, I’m not exactly surprised.” Adria shrugs. My head snaps back up, and Brooke shoots her cousin a pointed look.

“What do you mean?”

Adria continues, “I mean, its not a secret Paige kinda has a reputation here.”

So much for not fixating on Paige Bueckers. My mind races as I ask, “What kind of reputation?” although based on her tone and the context, I can make my own educated guesses. 

“She just gets with a lot of girls on campus.” Adria speaks slowly, her expression somehow guilty. “My freshman year roommates friend got with her. Said she slept with her one night and never talked to her again.”

It’s not like I had no clue that Paige had no issue moving on from me once she got to Storrs. For one, she didn’t seem to have an issue doing such a thing when we were together in the first place. She had also heard rumors through the grapevine at school during her senior year, with people saying that they knew someone whose sister was friends with someone who got with Paige or some outlandish connection like that. Hearing confirmation from someone in Storrs somehow made it more confirmed in my mind. That all Paige wants is to kiss as many girls as possible, touch as many girls as possible, fuck as many girls as possible. Maybe that’s why she started acting so cold and things fell apart. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t enough for her, I can’t help my mind from thinking bitterly. 

“Can’t say I’m surprised.” I force myself to breeze past the conversation, knowing that I cannot dwell on the past again. After a year or two of trying to figure out where everything went wrong, I have long since realized that there is nothing else to decode. I preferred to think of Paige as a painful memory that I’ve locked far, far away - it was just easier that way. “Who wants to watch a show?”

“You good, Maya?” Brooke asks, a small smile on her face. I know she feels guilty for bringing it up in the first place. But really, I have no reason to be mad: I was the one who ended things, and years ago at that. Being hung up over Paige Bueckers was ridiculous at this point.

“Yeah.” I answer, my voice more sharp than I intended. Fuck. Shaking my head as if to shake off any sort of doubts in their mind, I smile as I stand and walk towards the kitchen. “Believe me when I say I do not care what that girl does. She can do what she wants, and so can I. And what I want right now is to drink some prosecco and watch the Bachelorette.”

The sight of me pulling out the bottle of wine seems to strip Brooke of her doubts, because she agrees with a “Hell yeah, lets do it.”

Thankfully, once the TV is on we all settle into a groove of gossiping about strangers on our TV, not the very real people in our lives. Brooke in particular is enthralled, even though I had to beg her for weeks last summer to give the show a try. Even Adria chimes in as the two contestants cry over these men with a yell of “stand the fuck up!” I am quickly reminded in this moment that these two girls are, in fact, related. At one point in the night, Adria whips out her phone and snaps a photo of Brooke and I, grinning under a pile of throw blankets with our wine glasses in hand, an act I fail to question. After all, she had been checking her phone sporadically throughout the night.

Soon enough, we catch up on the past two episodes, our heads buzzing with the wine we consumed and our eyes struggling to stay awake as we say our goodbyes for the night. Adria pulls me into a hug, my head surrounded by the scent of her vanilla perfume as she whispers, “I’m so sorry about saying that stuff about Paige. You should know you… you absolutely did not deserve that shit, whatever she did. For the record, I think you’re awesome and that its completely her loss.”

I smile, happy to hear her words even if this is just a wine happy trail of thought. “It’s okay, Adria, I promise. It was so good to finally meet you.”

Brooke walks her out, and I can barely make it through brushing my teeth and washing my face before collapsing on my bed. The mattress is not the best quality and Amazon still says my mattress topper won’t be here for a few days, but I drift off easily, my thoughts filled with nothing except gratitude for my first night in Storrs and eager for my new start.

It’s safe to say this feeling does not extend in the morning, when I am awoken by the sun blazing through my window. My mouth is dry as I reach for my phone, eager to check the time and groaning when I see it is only 7AM. My groan is not audible for long, though, as I am quickly silenced by my most recent notification. One that has been awaiting me since 12:37AM.

Paige (DO NOT CALL): You go to UConn now???

August 26, 2023

“Go, go, go… Let’s fucking go Dorka!” I yell, watching as my old teammate scored in a game against the Liberty. It’s the Saturday night before the start of classes, and while the streets of Storrs are filled with people on their first night out of the semester, my teammates and I have all been moved into our current apartments for a little over two months. When your summer breaks are filled with workouts on campus mixed with brief vacations or visits home, that first night out doesn’t exactly carry the same novelty.

Which is why some of us were sat in Nika and Azzi’s living room, game on the TV as the two hosts prepare whatever alcoholic beverage they are subjecting us to from the kitchen separated by a counter. Three of our freshmen sit in the room with us: Ashlynn is on the floor, Ice is right above her on the couch with Aaliyah and Aubrey, and KK is next to me, typing hurriedly on her phone. Being one of the oldest players this year, I feel it’s especially important for me to get to know them - not just how they play, but who they actually are off the court.

“If UConn gets me playing like that,” Ice gestures to the TV, “I’ll know I made the right decision.”

“No turning back now.” Aubrey clapped her on the back, an over exaggerated grin on her face, which Ice responded to by shoving her off playfully. Ashlynn giggles, but doesn’t respond beyond that. It’s not abnormal for her to be quiet - what is abnormal is how silent KK is, her phone apparently more interesting than any of us. Aubrey seems to notice too, because she calls over to her.

“Hey KK, what did you think of that play?” No response. The typically extroverted girl has her chin in her hand, still staring at the screen in her other hand. Ice grabs the nearest pillow to her and throws it at the girl, prompting a jolt and a startled “What?” from KK and a “Ay, cut it out!” from Nika across the counter as she stirs a pitcher of God knows what.

“Bruh, KK, you’re not even watching,” I roll my eyes.

“Probably busy texting her girl,” Aaliyah mutters, although clearly she wasn’t trying that hard to be quiet. Hold up … her girl? Now the entire room quickly turns away from the game and to the freshman, who sits up from her slouched position with a death glare.

“I told you that in private.”

“Yo what? KK, you’ve been on campus for, like, five seconds,” Nika pops in the room.

“Clearly that’s all she needs,” Ice shrugs, earning her the same pillow thrown right back at her.

“Y’all suck,” KK slumps back into the couch, crossing her arms with a slight pout. I feel bad, wondering if we’ve been too hard on the teasing.

“Ok c’mon, we’ll stop. Let’s see her.” I gesture her to bring her phone closer to me, an act that she ignores for now.

“She’s not even my girl,” she mumbles.

“Do you want her to be?” Nika asks, eyebrows raised as she steps closer. All of us watch as KK bites her bottom lip, looking down at her sneakers. Hold on… she’s blushing. I may have only known the girl for two months, but i’ve never seen her do that before.

“Holy shit,” Nika exclaims. “KK’s a lover girl.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, just surprising is all,” Aaliyah clarifies, “not many freshmen are too into settling down.”

I notice Aaliyah, Nika, and Aubrey turn to face me, their stares deadpan. “What are you lookin’ at me for?” I exclaim, pointing at my chest. The heat rising to my face reveals that it’s no secret, even to me.

“What do you think?” Azzi calls from the next room. I sigh.

It’s no secret among the team (or anyone, really) that I had a pretty… entertaining first two years at UConn. Once COVID restrictions began lifting and the team was able to see other people outside of other players, some of the older players made it their mission to show the younger ones what they had been missing, one of those things being who they were missing. Honestly, it’s what I thought I needed at the time: being trapped in my dorm the majority of the time I wasn’t in practice gave me a lot of time to think, and with thinking came regret. More than once I jolted up in my bed in the middle of the night, dreams of dark hair, tanned skin, and that laugh replaying in my mind. It was torture.

Being in a different girl’s bed every weekend silenced it, just momentarily. Some people viewed me as a player who got off on getting any girl she wanted. The guilt of it finally caught up to me at the beginning of my sophomore year, when I thought about all of the girls I hurt, the ones who thought I wanted more than just one or two nights. It just reinforced my worst fear about myself: I was a womanizer who was incapable of caring about anything aside from basketball. 

“Aight aight,” I surrender, shifting my attention back to KK. “We not talking about me right now. Let’s see her.”

KK unlocked her phone, typing a username into the search bar before handing the phone off to me. Nika and Ice were quickly at my side, craning their necks to see a peek. The girl (Adria Taylor, I discover from her bio) is tall, with deep skin and long braids going down her back.

“She’s so pretty!” Nika gushes, and I would have to agree.

Ice, unable to resist the pink circle surrounding Adria’s profile photo, taps on the waiting story before KK can protest. The phone illuminates with a photo of two girls smiling on a couch, captioned “first night back” with a heart and a couple of mentions, presumably her friends handles. I don’t even need to take a look at what is written, however, because my eyes seem to have zeroed in on the girl further from the camera, and my mouth seems to go dry. It can’t be, but it is.

Because the girl in the photo is Maya. 

“Holy fuck.”

I don’t even realize I’ve said it until the three girls turn to look at me, confusion laced in their faces. “What?” Nika asks, concern evident. My heart is racing at a million miles an hour and my hands suddenly feel impossibly sweaty, but I refuse to reveal myself to them. 

I fake a cough, covering it with one hand while the other goes to scratch the back of my neck. “Uh, nothing. Thought I saw something but um,” Suddenly the sight of my lap clad in Nike tech sweats is the most interesting sight in the world. “She’s cute, KK.”

Almost like some sort of angel sent to save me, Azzi appears with a tray full of drinks that are a bright pink color and look entirely too sweet. “Drink it slowly guys, I’m not really sure I measured correctly.” She looks embarrassed at the admission, passing them around the room. Upon my first sip, I wince. Yep, definitely not too sweet. Will I still drink it? Yes. It would be a shame to let a perfectly good drink go to waste, and I now have something to run from tonight.

We continue watching the game, or at least I am. During commercials I spark conversations with anyone who will listen, including asking Ashlynn about some country concert she went to with her parents over the summer. I don’t even really listen to country, but it was nice to see the typically shy girl light up over something. Plus, it gave me an excuse not to think too hard.

Truthfully by the end of the night I was fucking hammered, not bothering to keep track of how many shots I chased down after whatever concoction Nika and Azzi made. Everyone in the room knew it too, to the point where Nika took it upon herself to walk me back to my apartment once the game ended, even though I only lived one floor down and KK and Aubrey were both still at her apartment. 

After I promised her I would chug some water before bed and take the pain reliever she laid out for me in the morning, she agreed to leave and let me go rest. I collapsed in my bed, which suddenly felt like the most comfortable place I had ever been. My brain, on the other hand, was providing anything but comfort running at around 100 miles an hour. Unable to resist, I look up Adria’s profile on my account, clicking the story. Sober me probably would have thought about how it would look if I showed up in her profile views, but drunk me clearly didn’t care enough. 

Sure enough, she’s sat there with a glass of wine in her hands. My heart jumps as I realize that she’s still just as beautiful as she was when I first met her, just more grown up this time. Her face is all defined cheekbones, glistening eyes, and a smile - God, that smile, that never failed to brighten my day if it was directed at me. It’s been a while since I’ve glanced at her profile - though we still follow each other, she barely ever posts and I don’t remember the last time she’s interacted with anything I’ve posted. Viewing her profile is reserved for nights where I’m filled with just enough delusion to convince myself it’s a good idea. Nope, never is. 

The girl next to her (Brooke, I assume from the tag) is leaning into her slightly in a way that makes my stomach flip. She’s not entirely unfamiliar to me - I’ve definitely seen her in a photo dump by Maya last summer. A part of me wonders if that’s the next girl that gets to treat her the way I should have. What if she came to UConn for her, I think. Nope. Can’t do that. Maya hasn’t been mine, not for a while.

The urge to reach out has died down through the years, going from entirely unbearable at times to more of a constant dull itch that I feel as though I can’t ever scratch. Her texting me after my ACL tear last summer provided temporary relief. I mean, it had to say something that she cared enough to show that she cared. A person that hates me wouldn’t do that.

But then, she never responded to my reply. A person that hates me would do that.

So yeah, there is nothing I want more in this world than to text Maya one last time, just to tell her I’m sorry. That I still think about the way I treated her, and how I’ve been too afraid to be with another girl since I’m worried I’ll do the same thing. That I know I don’t deserve her, not even platonically, but feelings aside I miss being around her. I wish we could be friends again, or acquaintances who occasionally text each other on birthdays and holidays, or something. At the very least, I want her to know I’m sorry.

But beyond everything, I want her to be happy. And if me not talking to her makes her happy, as stated the last time I saw her physically where she stated she “just needed time”, I was willing to suffer through that.

Somehow knowing she could be anywhere right now, even just a short walk away, made the suffering unbearable right now, in a way that I hadn’t felt since freshman year. 

Blame it on the alcohol, or the picture, or whatever you like. Doesn’t change the fact that I opened my contacts in search for one particular one. Doesn’t change the five word text I sent that took an embarrassingly long time to think of. And it doesn’t change how my fingers pressed send before any other doubts could enter my brain. Putting my phone on do not disturb, I plug it in and turn off my lights, deciding that chugging water can wait until tomorrow. For now, I need to sleep off everything I’ve seen tonight and the memory of what I just did. 

[astrolovecosmos]

Astrology Disciplines

Natal Astrology - Focuses on the natal/birth chart as it describes your life unfolding. While this can dip into predictive astrology this isn't a requirement. Some astrologers (like me!) may primarily focus on one's personality and environment that the natal chart describes vs. predicting events. Natal Astrology is also used to guide people in relationships and career.

Predictive Astrology - This discipline usually combines natal charts with current astrological positions and/or other chart types to predict the future. Horoscopes and analyzing the current day-to-day movements of planets is part of this practice. While secondary progressions are typically an introspective area of astrology, they may be used here for personal predictions.

Counseling Astrology - Historically there have been many counselors or therapists that combine their skills with astrology. Currently many therapists or counselors are likely to condemn the use of astrology in the field. But it is worth notating that this is a type of astrological discipline that has existed and played a major role in shaping modern astrology. e.g. Carl Jung.

Synastry - This branch of astrology is used to analyze relationships. The famous synastry chart would be used here along with composite charts. Technically comparing two natal charts for chemistry and compatibility would fall under this type of astrology. This could be debated among astrologers, but you can find books/text that group any type of relationship readings under the "synastry" discipline. (My other specialty 😊)

Medical Astrology - A type of astrology that typically uses the natal chart along with astrological medical associations to conduct a reading. The humours, Sun Sign, planetary ruler, chart ruler, and elemental balance play a large role here. The 6th House is important as well. Medical astrologers typically approach health holistically and usually prescribe appropriate herbs or homeopathic remedies. Because I never want to mislead someone medically or scientifically, please research and approach this style of astrology with caution.

Karmic Astrology - Many different types of charts may be used here depending on the astrologer and client's goals. Here astrology is focused on dealing with struggles of the present based on a past life. This type of astrology is used to help people stop negative patterns or cycles. Many also use this type of astrology to connect with their spiritual selves or to incorporate spiritualism into their lives. Natal Charts, Relationship Charts, Secondary Progressions, and Draconic Charts may all be used. Some astrologers may also incorporate other spiritual methods into their practice such as tarot, dice, runes, etc.

Horary Astrology - These astrologers deal in specific questions such as "Should I move?", "Should I adopt a new pet?", "Should I make a career change?". This is a mixture of predictive astrology and advice. A chart is usually prepared for the exact time the question was asked. This form of astrology focuses on current astrological positions and has a unique set of rules due to its immediate nature.

Electional Astrology/Event Astrology - This type of astrology is used to help predict when one should start an event. This type of astrology is highly focused on the timing of something. Common uses of this are to plan a trip or wedding. Historically planning an attack or battle falls under this type of astrology. An Entrepeneur might use this type of astrology to find the best time to start a business or launch a product. This type of astrology may use or reference the natal chart and depends greatly on current astrological placements and tracking future dates and celestial movements.

Mundane Astrology - This discipline focuses on world events, politics, and socioeconomic trends. This form of astrology has its own unique set of rules and multiple methods. Charts may be drawn up for people, nations, cities, groups, organizations, and many more elements depending on the subject. This form of astrology may take a lot of analysis across multiple charts and reports.

Business Astrology - The practice of making business decisions based on astrological advice. Some astrologers may consult business owners using multiple methods that can cross over to the other disciplines. Finances, investments, and relationship building are all themes for this type of astrology, but the core focus is to guide and grow a business.

[fairycosmos]

Hello

Long time follower. Big fan.

Umm i dont have any "real" friends and i feel like i have to vent about what happened to me with someone so plz bare with me.

Yesterday I was sexually assaulted. Outside my own apartment building by a man that is an "aquaintance" at most. I managed to get away by stepping on his foot and elbowing him in the stomach before it went any further. What sucks even more is that I live in a super conservative middle eastern country that has a society that loves to victim blame. I cant even go to the police cuz i have no proof and the sad thing is this the THIRD time in my life of 30 years where i get sexually assaulted. The first time was my cousin when I was 13 and the second time was someone who was a close friend when i was in my 20s. I feel pathetic and cowardly for not speaking up every time it happened. I know I cant tell my family cuz they are religious and all they care about is my "chastity" whatever the fuck that is and i honestly dont know what to do anymore.

Thank you for listening

🪽

hey angel,

i’m so sorry it took me a minute to see this, and honestly, i'm just fkn enraged that you're even in this position to begin with. none of this should’ve ever happened to you, and it’s so beyond messed up that you’ve had to go through it, and more than once, on top of everything else. first, i just want to say that i’m so, so grateful to you for opening up about it, especially when you’re feeling so isolated. it takes so much courage to even put this into words, and i’m honored that you trust me with it at all tbh. as much of an eye roll it is to hear, you’re truly not alone in this. and you’re definitely not “pathetic” or “cowardly” for how things played out or for not feeling like you could speak up before. the way you’re feeling is real, valid, and so understandable—especially when support and safety feel so distant.

it’s beyond unfair to be in a place where victim-blaming is such a huge part of the culture. to have to carry that, while being made to feel like you have to hide this, is an awful weight. but please know, this is not on you—none of it. the guilt and shame that the world tries to put on you is not yours, even if sometimes that feels impossible to believe. grounding yourself in the truth—that you haven’t done anything wrong, no matter how often you have to remind yourself—can be a solid step. and if you believe that for other people who've been in your shoes, then you must believe it for yourself too. ultimately, the shame belongs to the people who assaulted you and a world that hasn’t supported you the way you deserve. please don’t let their actions shape how you see yourself. your survival, your resilience, your courage etc that’s who you are.

there are a few places that might be able to give you some support, even if it’s from a distance. rainn.org offers confidential chat options and resources, and while it’s u.s.-based, it could still be useful if you need a safe space to talk. another is pandora’s project, a support and forum site specifically for survivors. they have spaces where people from all backgrounds, including those with similar cultural challenges, can connect. <3

if you’re open to it, a counselor or therapist who specializes in trauma and works online might be a good option, too. there are so many who understand the importance of privacy and safety in environments where speaking out can be challenging. the International Association for Trauma Professionals has a directory that could help you find someone who’d really get where you’re coming from and respect those unique challenges.

just remember, it’s okay to take this one step at a time. if all you can do today is share this with someone who cares, or offer yourself some compassion and grace to cry and breathe and be pissed and hurt and numb and upset, then that’s more than enough. i believe in your right to feel safe, supported, and heard, and there are people who genuinely want to help you get there, however and whenever you need.

sending you so much love and strength <3 if you need to vent or if you just need someone to talk to, please msg me any time. i understand what it's like to have your boundaries violated too and i know how lonely and painful it is to contend with it in your own head. x

[an-awarewolf]

What careers I think the counselors pursued after the quarry.

Most of these are based off the jobs they worked at camp.

Laura - Easy. Veterinary medicine. Specifically I think she’d be more comfortable working at a zoo or a wildlife reserve with tigers or bears (real bears) instead of putting animals down all day.

Max - after not getting accepted into whatever college Laura did, he decided not to pursue college. Or maybe he did, and just took online courses instead so he wouldn’t have to be away from Laura. Either way, he ends up becoming a mechanic.

Jacob - I’m honestly not sure, but he definitely has a sports scholarship. I’m not sure he knew himself what exact career he wanted to pursue during the events of the game, but I could see him becoming a physical therapist or a personal trainer. Maybe both.

Kaitlyn - Gets a degree in business and runs her own. Not sure what type of business, but boy is she running it. She starts small but definitely climbs the latter and becomes a rather impressive business woman (KAITLYN IN A SUIT KAITLYN IN A SUIT)

Ryan - He does end up going to animation school, but halfway through one of his grandparents gets really sick and passed. The other dies of a broken heart less than a year afterwards, so he’s forced to drop out to provide for Sarah. He ends up moving the both of them in with Dylan eventually so can get by. Luckily a small indie studio hires him despite not having a degree and he’s able to make ends meet.

Nick - Culinary arts. My only reference for this is the fact that he works in the kitchen at camp. But it’s fitting. I’d imagine he’d the type of person who can make a really impressive meal out of seemingly nothing. Yelling for runners is also a pretty good way to purge those anger issues of his.

Dylan - Quantum Physics, obviously. I could definitely see him using science theories to try and explain the whole werewolf incident. Eventually I think he’d end up working at a research center trying to figure out nuclear fission. He ends up becoming the breadwinner between him and Ryan.

Abi - She went to art school and dropped out because she didn’t agree with what she was being taught. She ends up doing commissions online with the help of Emma for publicity, eventually she also ends up working with Ryan at the indie studio as a character design artist.

Emma - You can’t tell me this diva isn’t going into theatre. Her dream role is Regina George. She also keeps up her online presence, but goes on hiatus for a bit during college. Ends up as a VA in one of Indie Animation Company ™’s projects and gives them a boost in popularity.

[haggishlyhagging]

Get "power" by "surrendering" and "submitting" to your man's every whim, a leading '80s self-help manual advises in typical feminist-sounding rhetoric. Don't talk back, because a ladylike silence will "enhance" your "self-respect" and "feeling of mastery." "Take charge . . . of your courtship," suggests another popular text. "Overcome obstacles," so you can get married. The pseudofeminist title of one 1989 advice book puts it most succinctly: Women Who Marry Down and End Up Having It All.

While the backlash therapy books may be written in feminist ink, they blot out the most basic precept of feminist therapy—that both social and personal growth are important, necessary, and mutually reinforcing. This is a view that was supported, albeit in a rather degraded, commercialized form, in the leading self-help manuals of the 70s; in 1975, The New Assertive Woman issued an "Everywoman's Bill Of Rights" that called for "the right to be treated with respect" and "the right to be listened to and taken seriously." The '80s advice writers, by contrast, seemed to go out of their way to urge women to stop challenging social constraints and to keep their thoughts to themselves—to learn to fit the mold rather than break it.

On no group of women did the self-help authors impress this message more strongly than the ones without wedding rings. The diagnosis was, underneath it all, little changed from the postwar era, when that era's leading advice book—Marynia Farnham and Ferdinand Lundberg's Modern Women: The Lost Sex—declared all single women neurotics and proposed subsidized psychotherapy to get them married. In the '80s, even advice experts more sympathetic to single women and the pressures they faced touted the same marital party line. In the popular 1988 advice book, If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?, counselor Susan Page acknowledges in her introduction that unwed women are contending with a social climate that is especially rough on them now; they are burdened by "the specific problems that our times have spawned, such as misogyny," she writes. But she's not interested in helping single women develop the self-confidence and internal strength they need to bear up under these antagonistic conditions. Nor does she propose that single women even question the culture's marital marching orders. "I want to accept certain sociological and psychological factors as given [her emphasis]," she writes. "In this book we will not discuss why [her emphasis] these conditions are as they are, and we will not lament them." What then should single women do to ease what Page calls the "Great Emotional Depression" that she says has descended on millions of them? Just change your single status, she proposes. She dispenses "strategies" only to make women more marketable for marriage.

The '80s backlash therapists firmly rejected another fundamental feminist principle—that men can, and should, change, too. "[L]ately it seems there is a rising tide of utter frustration among women concerning men," Smart Women/Foolish Choices observes, and a lot of women "always end up feeling disappointed by men." But Cowan and Kinder do not go on to consider what men might be doing to inspire such an outpouring of frustration, nor how men might change their behavior to make women feel better. Instead, the psychologists conclude that men are fine and any disappointment women feel is wholly self-generated. It's not the men who are "inadequate," the authors write; it's just that the women's "expectations are distorted." Women are just "hypercritical" of men. All would be well if women only learned to "truly understand men" and their "need for mastery and career success." Women would be happy if they only quit "pushing" the opposite sex to change and learned to "compromise."

Asked later what sort of compromises he had in mind, Kinder says: "Women could have their kids while they are still in college, and then, if they still want a career, they can do that after the kids are grown. You do have to make some sacrifices." What about fathers "sacrificing" by taking some responsibility for their children? Kinder, whose wife stayed at home to raise their children, mulls it over. "Yeah, well that would solve the problem," he says. "But men won't do it. And it's not our place to be saying things like that. We're not social engineers." Not, anyway, when it comes to men.

Confronted with the antifeminist implications of their message, the backlash therapists almost always issue a denial. "We're talking about broadening expectations, not settling for less, and that's not just a play on words," Cowan says. But it is exactly that—unless Cowan has already forgotten his own "Rules for Finding the Right Man" in Smart Women. Rule #8: "Fewer expectations lead to greater aliveness."

Some of the therapists attacking women's liberation most forcefully claimed, in fact, to be proponents themselves. As many media-conscious therapists in the '80s discovered, feminist-bashing "feminists" garnered the most airtime. Susan and Stephen Price, authors of the popular No More Lonely Nights: Overcoming the Hidden Fears That Keep You from Getting Married, were one such "feminist" husband-and-wife therapy team who got a lot of press mileage plugging this backlash diagnosis of modern single women: "androphobia." This "problem without a name," they wrote, shamelessly stealing Friedan's phrase, was a "deep-rooted intense fear of men" shared by most unmarried women over thirty, especially professional women. The cause: "You have been deeply influenced by feminism."

* * *

"These obsessive androphobic fears are a major ingredient in women's resistance to marriage today," Stephen Price is saying in his Manhattan office, a few weeks after his appearance on the "Today" show. "Now that we've reached the end of the women's movement, which is where our culture is today . . ." Here he hesitates, then says, "We both, of course, feel very pro the gains of the women's movement."

His wife, Susan, seated in the office's other therapeutic armchair, nods vigorously. "We're both feminists," she says. "In fact, it was almost me being a feminist that kept me from seeing these hidden fears developing. As a therapist I encouraged women to pursue careers. But what happened is, women escaped into their careers and they didn't put their energy into their relationships. Their feminist viewpoint became a trap." But if careers hurt women psychologically, then why do professional women consistently rank highest, as we've seen, in virtually all measures of mental health? The Prices have no answer.

In spite of their pro-feminist claims, the Prices seem to oppose every feminist tenet, from economic independence to sexual freedom. In their book and in their counseling sessions, they advise women to refrain not only from initiating sex but from having sex at all before marriage. "If the woman is sexually aggressive, the man might put her in the category of someone to go to bed with, period," Susan Price says. Evidence? "Fatal Attraction may be overdrawn in some ways, but you can really see that operating there," she says.

Unlike authentically feminist therapists, the Prices don't consider, much less confront, other forces at work in women's lives. They reinforce the era's isolation of single women by encouraging their female readers to see themselves as defective units, alone and isolated only by their own aberrant behavior. They advise women to "deal with your own personal crisis: What might you [their emphasis] be doing to make intimacy with a man impossible? What attitudes are keeping you [their emphasis] unavailable for marriage?" The primary offending attitude that the book singles out: an insistence on respect and equal treatment from one's mate. "The desire to avoid a submissive status in relationship to men can lead you into a loveless life," they assert. Again, there is no analysis of the attitudes of men, much less proposals for altering them. If a man mistreats a woman, she probably asked for it. "A resistant woman picks a resistant man," Susan Price says. "What we help single women to see is how what they think is a problem with the man is really something inside them." Don't men play any role in difficult relationships? "Probably it is a fifty-fifty proposition," Stephen Price concedes, shrugging. "But this book is focused on women—for the purpose of clarity."

While they don't actually support a feminist vision, the Prices are happy to appropriate the movement's activist language to promote their own agenda. They urge women to "take control" of their love lives by scaling back their career aspirations and to "gain power" over potential husbands by remaining celibate. "It's Up to You to Get Married," the manual instructs, this being the only arena, apparently, in which it's okay for women to take the initiative.

Androphobia may have a scientific ring, but it's not based on scientific research—or any research at all. "We just knew it was a phobia," Stephen Price says flatly. How? "Well, because there's an avoidance there." Pressed to explain what that means, Stephen Price falls silent. Finally, he says: "A lot of the dynamics of phobia are hidden. That's how we know it's a phobia. It's very hidden." This invisible phobia turned the Prices into very visible "marriage gurus," as they now call themselves. "We are inundated," Susan Price says happily. "We've been doing three radio shows a week. Women are calling up saying, what's your [marriage] success rate? We do sessions by phone. We have women flying in from out west. And we get so many letters from women saying they read our book and they realize now how they did it to themselves. They are grateful."

It turns out that Susan Price does actually support feminist principles in one way—for herself. "When we first married, Steve couldn't understand my need for my own career and not wanting to be a homemaker," she recalls. "I got jobs [to support him] while he was in graduate school. He was being groomed for a career and what was I doing?" First she became a schoolteacher, but she didn't find it fulfilling enough. "I decided I wanted to be a therapist. So I went back to graduate school. The kids were still babies at the time. We hired a lot of baby-sitters and put them in a lot of nursery schools." Was any of this a mistake? "Oh, no. I love what I do."

-Susan Faludi, Backlash: the Undeclared War Against American Women

[mayflowers515]

Smiling Critters: Non Lore-Heavy Headcanons!

This is just what I personally think they'd be like in my AU, if you guys have different interpretations, that's fine!

(I could also do scenarios based on the headcanons too if you guys wish! )

Reference post for characters if needed: https://www.tumblr.com/mayflowers515/743811211445010432/smiling-critters-in-gacha-life-2?source=share

Kickin would 100% call his friends a specific nickname. It's his way of approving that they're cool to him. He barely calls them by their actual name unless the situation is serious. Here is what he'd call everyone:

Bubba = Nerd (in the most affectionate way possible here); Can also imagine Kickin calling him sir or mister sometimes

Bobby = Beary or BB (may or may not be based off of content I've seen with these nicknames for her-)

Hoppy = Hopscotch (calls her by last name because he thinks it's cool already; Hoppy would use that logic against him and call him Chicken occasionally); He also likes to call her Hops for short

CatNap = Sleepyhead, Sleeping Beauty

DogDay = Mr. Brightside, DD

Crafty = Princess (that would probably freak Crafty out since she thinks he knows of her status; in reality, he calls her this because of her vibes, especially after a certain scenario I have planned for her)

Picky = Piggy (doesn't really have any other idea for a nickname, but he wants to come up with one that sounds "more cool"; tried this by calling her PP, but didn't realize how bad it was until the first and only time he used it for her)

Kickin would call himself KC, since y'know, he wants everyone to know he's cool, too! (credits to mr. story for the idea)

2. Crafty has a very good singing voice. She doesn't show it off for a couple reasons though:

Because she's a little shy about showing it off in the first place

Doesn't want to overpower her friends if they sing together

She's worried her friends will find a way to link her voice to her background (will discuss more in a future post)

(Based off a voice canon video I saw for her where her singing voice was based off of Fluttershy's from "Filli Vanilli")

3. When Picky isn't cooking or eating, she likes to dance and tend to her personal garden. It's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, but she also has some flowers and shrubs, too! She likes to use products from her garden for her cooking sometimes.

4. CatNap's house smells like all kinds of specific essential oils. He is the one who uses them the most of the Critters, which helps set the atmosphere for his calming home.

5. I already mentioned before that Crafty can never keep her clothes clean for the whole day. But she really likes her overall dresses, so she keeps a lot of the same ones just in case one of them gets too messy.

6. Kickin is great with comebacks and wordplay. Even in the toughest of situations, he usually pieces together slick phrases. The only exceptions are if he were to start like-liking someone or if he had an idol he admired. He'd get more nervous and fumble his words by that point.

7. Here is what I like to think the Critters want to be when they become adults (they're still children in this AU):

CatNap (counselor; something to do with aromatherapy too most likely)

DogDay (doesn't know; he hasn't thought about it)

Bobby (nurse or maybe a therapist)

Crafty (artist of course; may be more inclined to be a painter)

Kickin (journalist or reporter?; I can see him commentating on things like sports and current events lol)

Hoppy (soccer player or coach)

Bubba (professor, but not sure of which subject rn)

Picky (chef, no surprise there. She wishes to run her own restaurant someday)

8. Inspired by some comics, but CatNap's tail can extend to really long lengths. His friends use this as an advantage to drag him along or hold onto him when he's not aware of his surroundings or he's asleep. His tail can only extend to so long though (maybe four-five feet?) so eventually it can get pulled. He doesn't like that. His friends realize this the hard way, and from that point forward, they tend to drag him along their adventures in a wagon. Typically DogDay is the one to watch over the wagon.

9. In contrast to CatNap, DogDay is much more nervous during the nighttime. He tries to hide this to not worry his friends, but they can usually see through him. He doesn't exactly get the best sleep all the time, yet he still manages to operate smoothly for his friends (maybe through coffee? I can see him drinking that-)

10. Possible fears of all the Critters

Bobby (being alone and abandoned, canon; can also see her fearing bugs too, but she can't bring herself to kill them since she loves and values all life regardless)

Picky (sickness, a part of this plays into her need to stick to a healthy lifestyle, and she stresses out whenever she feels she made too many unhealthy choices; she also hates being sick because then she can't provide for her friends)

Kickin (sudden noise and heights; he would try to hide this to keep his cool image, so he brushes off his fears so others can't see it from the outside. However, on the inside and sometimes more obviously the outside, he is TERRIFIED)

Bubba (failing his friends and leading them down the wrong direction; tries to prevent this from happening by being as well-informed on as many topics as he can think)

DogDay (the dark; he always needs a nightlight in his room so he can go to sleep better)

CatNap (his second scent; more elaboration on that sometime soon but if you know what I'm referring to, you know...; can also seem him fearing water a little since y'know, cat behavior-)

Hoppy (needles; I just don't see her holding up well at the doctor's personally-)

Crafty (public audience; she can only handle so many people watching her at once until she feels she needs to get out)

11. People would expect Bubba and Crafty to constantly be at odds due to their different thinking approaches (left brain + right brain), but they actually get along quite well! They may have a couple disagreements, but otherwise they are usually open to what the other is saying. Basically, an "I want what you have" kind of situation but downplayed. Mainly since Bubba isn't as good with thinking outside of the box meanwhile Crafty isn't the most book smart. They would bounce off each other well. They would work well together when it comes to devising plans with their friends. Bubba would explain the plan while Crafty sketches the plan's details.

12. Crafty can draw at fast speeds, but she can't draw anything super detailed. Still, she is surprised herself that it doesn't look too bad when she rushed it.

13. Speaking of speed, Hoppy can, in addition to moving fast, speak fast and somehow still remember what she says. When others don't process what she says, she would be a bit more annoyed and say it slower. She doesn't speak fast often, only in situations where she is really enthusiastic or she's in a panic.

14. In terms of their more animal-like qualities, DogDay is the most expressive of the Critters. He wags his tail and raises his ears a lot depending on the circumstance.

15. Bobby can have very bad anxiety in stressful situations. Worse case scenario, she may even just ball up and become unresponsive to stimuli.

16. PB&Js are still Picky's favorite food, but she eats them in moderation when she's felt good on what she ate for the rest of the day. She will refuse to eat them when she's stressed or if she gets sick. She gets like this with any unhealthy food in general actually, just more inclined to do it with PB&Js.

17. (Based on that road trip image of them) They're all kids, but in their world, they're able to drive. Still, there are some Critters you should trust behind the wheel more than others:

Bubba (not only would he be safe on the road, but his great memory basically makes him a walking GPS, assuring an instant trip to their destination without getting lost; despite this, it's usually #2 who drives more because he's usually tasked as the voice of reason to make sure no one riots while someone is behind the wheel; he also slightly manages his memory better when he isn't multitasking)

DogDay (is usually the one that drives everyone when they're out on road trips. He is generally very calm behind the wheel and will encourage others on the way to wherever they're going, so he's also considered fun to have as the driver by his friends)

Picky and Bobby (tied; both would do just fine behind the wheel and would both be careful of the cars around them and the passengers in the car; would give Picky the edge here though since she doesn't have to raise her seat as much just to drive compared to Bobby)

Kickin (would care more about looking cool on the road than actually driving well. When he isn't focused on his ego, he doesn't drive too badly. He may have a slight bit of road rage, though)

CatNap (he would be better during night time trips as he is more active then, but even then it wouldn't happen often since driving can get stressful. Also, at any other time besides night, he runs the risk of sleeping on the spot even while driving, so no, please don't let him drive…) (ngl, him and #7 could be interchangeable here; both have drawbacks whenever they're behind the wheel-)

Crafty (she's pretty mediocre when it comes to driving. Her mind usually spirals in a panic whenever she's behind the wheel, and she'd focus more on the panic of driving at all than actually driving, so for her sanity, don't let her drive...)

Hoppy (never, EVER have her behind the wheel. The car will crash and burn in seconds... She can get really impulsive when it comes to driving and I can imagine her having some bad road rage; the Critters let her drive once after she pleaded with them so many times; probably in a situation where for some reason DogDay and/or Bubba couldn't do it. She led them in a ditch, crashing into someone's party down below, unintentionally of course. Everyone was okay, but they never let her drive again after that)

18. In addition to wanting to be the cool friend, I can also imagine Kickin wanting to joke around and make his friends laugh from time to time. He also pulls harmless pranks sometimes (sometimes he is unaware how his pranks potentially hurt others until it's too late though-)

19. Bobby has a really big sweet tooth. Especially when it comes to chocolate. Also, if anyone were to give her a chocolate heart, she would melt in their arms on the spot (doesn't matter if the intention is platonic or romantic, she just loves receiving chocolates, especially the hearts)

20. Hoppy would have the most game equipment of her friends. She has equipment that ranges across all kinds of sports as well as other physical activities.

21. If Crafty was given sidewalk chalk and there was pavement outside of her friends' houses (though I don't think this is the case in canon sadly), she would use it to draw something outside her friends' houses as a way to show appreciation.

22. Bubba would have his own mini library inside his house will all different genres of books. The books of this library are books he collected that were from his family's or from what he found when they were out and about. He occasionally lets his friends borrow books from him if they need to.

23. The Critters are vegan. Things like burgers and milk come from other sources for them. So no worries, in this version, the burger Picky was about to eat in the intro was sourced from plants (she wouldn't actually eat animals... right? *cough cough* canon version... *cough)

24. CatNap would be the best at telling spooky stories. He already has a naturally quiet voice. All he'd need to do to make it sound more spoopy for his friends is give it a creepy tone, and already that makes him a good scary storyteller...

25. DogDay doesn't really make his own food often, but he actually does like baking more than people give him credit for. His favorite thing to bake is cookies (especially ones that look like dog treats!)

26. This meme explained for Critters:

"We have food at home" - Bubba, Picky

"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" - Hoppy, DogDay, Kickin, Bobby

In between these two sections: Crafty (depends on her mood)

*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *Orders a single black coffee and leaves* - CatNap (not meaning to be rude, but just doesn't want to put up with ordering for everyone so he orders for him; he's too tired for that ok?*

27. CatNap has the worst reaction time and is the most clumsy of the Critters. It's literally canon that the guy trips on his own tail. That HAS to be a thing here. It just has to.

28. This may come as a surprise, but CatNap actually does like drinking coffee, except he mainly has it at nighttime so he can stay up and help people in need of assistance at nighttime; he puts a lot of creamer and milk in his coffee, though- He doesn't like black cofffee (I imagine in the McDonalds meme he takes the coffee home with him and prepares it with his usual creamer and milk)

Welp, this is pretty long and scrambled. Sorry if some characters have more headcanons than others. If I think of other hcs I can update this! I do actually have more I'd like to share sometime, but the ones I'm thinking about are more lore-heavy for the characters so I'll put that in a separate post :)

[lordofthetwistedflies]

I know your probably tired of my stuff lol, but in regards to the idea about like cuticle biting and stuff, could I make that more specific? If you dont feel like adding more to your workload, bc I know I'm not the only one who requests stuff, dont worry about this!

I was just researching and found and actual name for it; Dermatophagia. It's a disorder usually connected to OCD. I just felt it better explained what I was trying to talk about! And it describes my problem better too.

Again if you dont want to get that detailed, dont worry! I dont mind lol

Drink water, and have a good day/night!!

"No Biting"

Hey mootie! You literally are the only person requesting rn, so dw!!! Also this is pretty similar to something I struggle with, although my symptoms line up closer with Dermatillomania, so I totally get where you're coming from, compulsions suck-

Alphonse

The first time he sees you chewing at your cuticles he just raises an eyebrow

When you mention that it's a bad habit of yours, he asks if you want his help. He'd like to help you kick it if he can, but if you want him to back off, he does

Whenever he notices you chewing at your nails, he just takes your hand, a subtle way of saying "Don't do that"

Tries getting you chewlery, or your favorite candies. Something you can chew safely without making yourself bleed-

All in all, a very helpful lil guy!!

Seth

He didn't actually notice it was a problem until your hands started bleeding

He asked if you'd gotten hurt and you had to sheepishly admit that this was just something that happened sometimes

He got very visibly upset over your resignation to it.

Whenever you do it in front of him, he takes your hand, gives it a little squeeze, and helps you redirect your focus onto something more productive and less harmful.

Also invests in Chewlery, but understands that it isn't the same thing and might not be helpful-

Auron

Following the "untimely death" of his father, this was actually something he struggled with too. He gets it, albeit it was more of a nervous habit for him.

So takes it upon himself to help you out.

Firstly, he bandages up your hands with wraps and neosporin. Human mouths are filthy and full of bacteria that shouldn't get in you blood stream.

Secondly, he gets you seeing a counselor. Don't argue with him. If you want any chance of kicking your habit, you need to treat it at the source.

Thirdly, once you made some progress with your therapist and your hands have started healing, he pays for an expensive manicure. You're less likely to relapse if your hands look this pretty, right? And besides, once your hands are safe the spa ladies can safely push your cuticles back.

He's big on treating the problem at its source, and he's always there to be your shoulder to lean on.

[dirtyvirgotarot]

PICK-A-CARD: A Fun New Career or Hobby To Look Into! Your Gifts!

Looking to see what might be a fun hobby for you?? This PAC might help you figure out what to research and dive deep into!!! :D Pick a pile and let's branch out!! ~~~~~~~~ Pile 1 (The Sketches): Pile 1, you have a magic within you that rivals most. I see you being incredible mystics, card readers, witches, what have you! This is the pile where those with incredible intuition have gathered. If you're looking at pick-a-cards regularly, drawn in by them for whatever reason, maybe try learning more about the technical side of them! Pick up a deck, watch some Youtube videos, and unlock your inner potential as a magic practitioner! I can see that this might actually be a huge revelation for you... This may lead to a bigger awakening, beyond just a hobby. More a spiritual awakening. You may find that it helps you in more ways than one, or makes you a happier person. I am getting a HUGE message about divine timing. The only warning I will give you, Pile 1, is that I can see that for some of you, there is a competitive spirit within you. That's great! However, you must keep it healthy. Do not become obsessed with creating the best pick-a-cards, or the best videos, or what have you. In that, you will fail. To think that the best place is at the TOP of the mountain is the way of the fool. It is within the mountain that you will find the riches of the earth!! :D Regardless, I see abundance and divine timing waiting for you in this hobby! You DO possess a special gift inside of you, and it wants to grow. Your intuition and synchronicity is high. You may have strange, almost prophetic-seeming dreams. This is the universe trying to tell you something! Whether you would like to listen further to the call, or ignore it, is entirely up to you. ✨ ~~~~~~~~ Pile 2 (The Blue Guitar):

Pile 2, you are healers by trade. You always know just the right thing to say. There are three specific messages coming through, so take whatever one resonates more for you! For some, I see that a good career for you might be a social counselor. A therapist, a case worker, a couples therapist, something along those lines! For others, I see that doing special events might be fulfilling for you as well! Whether that's event coordinating, planning, or playing at a wedding! It even could be charity work that you do, helping others in their desperate time of need. I can even see a mortician for a select few. No matter what the career or hobby would be, you would suit best in a job that takes the weight off of others' shoulders, that mends the cracks in someone's heart or relationships. You want to help. The two I listed are just that, two of the many, many hobbies and jobs that can help others for the better. I do see the potential to start a lifelong career out of this gift, if you so desire. You are wonderful at healing, and stopping or preventing conflict. You are a very down to earth, yet very curious person. It takes a LOT to upset you, Pile 2. That isn't a gift everyone has! Find a way to use your kindness and desire to help in the way you think best! 💗 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 3 (The Biker): Pile 3, you are my activists. You fight for what is right, whether it be for people, or to become the personal attorneys-at-law for Mother Earth herself! You don't mind the idea of your hobby/career being thankless or dirty, as long as justice is served to the masses. You are sharp-witted and quick with your tongue, you can lay down the hard-hitting facts. This could be journalism or journaling, it could be preservation, archiving, becoming a disability or accident lawyer, a conservationist or arborist. Gardening, a plant enthusiast, geology, archeology, a librarian, your soul is inclined to help preserve, to continue. You are incredibly smart and intelligent, and you tend to like to work either directly in the spotlight, or behind the scenes. You are unafraid of what others may think of what you do, say or think, and that's just how you like it, Pile 3! A strong spirit who just wants what's best. You may be bookish, and love to read. I can absolutely see you making a career out of this, in fact, if you try, you're pretty much destined to succeed, Pile 3! You are armed to the teeth with knowledge. Use it! 💅 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 4 (The Frosting): Pile 4, your hobby/career is certainly more of a behind-the-scenes deal. Something that is taken for granted often, however, you are certainly a carefree spirit! You don't mind, you just flow with the wind. You're a quiet and introverted person for the most part, but you shine bright like a firefly whenever you're around others! You have a cheerful disposition despite your quietness. Yoga is something that is being screamed into my brain!! Whether it's taking up yoga, or being a yoga instructor, it's certainly something that may help you at this time. I have a feeling that times may be rough for you, but you have more tools than you think you do. Meditation, yoga, and other mindfulness exercises are suggested to you! For others, I can also see you having a career in hospitality. Whether it's a maid, janitor, a hotel worker, or even something like a taxi/Uber driver or bus driver, you would fit that sort of work well. Something generally quiet where you can stick to yourself most of the time, with only basic contact with others. You get things done best when you're by yourself, and that's great! You also are suggested to take up a creative hobby as well! You do your best thinking at work, when you can just focus on a mindless task and zone out. Crafting, scrapbooking, or coloring is recommended! :D Keep on keepin' on, Pile 4! 🏃 ~~~~~~~~ I'd love to hear feedback in the comments about what you think about the pile you chose, and if it interests you! I can always do an individual extension for your pile if you order a personal reading from me here! -DV

[copperbadge]

Oh god I got a discussion of therapy all over that poor person’s post about ADHD.....did not mean to spill quite that many personal beans but I queued it when I was tired and it posted before I noticed it was inappropriate. 

I wanted to reply to the comments individually but I felt like I’d be disjointed about it and maybe some people don’t want their comment on one post blasted to 30K people on another post, so in a general sense... 

I know there are different modalities to therapy -- I have no idea what mine were but I doubt it matters since it was twenty-five years ago and I was a child. Part of the problem is that the modalities which are clear-cut in theory seem unhelpfully loose in practice. I’ll look through a directory of therapists and a half-dozen will give different modalities from each other but talk about the same handful of therapeutic techniques, or address the same family of issues, or both. And most of the modalities both in the clinical and practical sense seem extremely unpleasant, so that is perhaps a Me Problem. 

I end up asking myself, “What’s my goal in doing this?” and I picture myself sitting down with a therapist who asks what I’m looking to address, because that would help narrow down my options. But I never have a good answer. So I think, “That seems like an hour a week that could be spent doing something less expensive” and close out of the search window. Then a few weeks later I think “Well, that might be useful, I’ll look around” and the cycle starts again. 

There are so many good uses for therapy, but a lot of what people say they use therapy for, I've done on my own for years, or am working on now and don’t feel like I need help. I don’t really have any problems identifying therapists who aren’t going to work for me for one reason or another, but it’s an issue if I can only tell a therapist what I don’t want to do. Saying “I’m not interested in doing roleplays” is fine as boundary-setting but if I can’t say “Because I want to accomplish this different thing” then all I’m doing is insulting someone’s profession, really. 

So what’s left? Just the vague sense that other people I like and admire find it useful, and my experiences were very much outlier, so maybe I should try it again. But if I can’t identify why I should try it again, and if I’m going to be aggressively combative about it (which...I don’t want to be but I do know me) then all I’m really doing is paying someone to be insulted by me for an hour, and I can do that to people who deserve it more, for free, on the internet. 

niennanir

The thing with therapy, speaking as someone who was a counselor for a period of years, is that it is a tool that supposes a baseline function. Going to Therapy when you have ADHD is very similar to being handed a hammer and told to use it when you have no arms.  

I did want to respond to this comment specifically because a) that’s very validating and b) it means that if I do want to continue looking I guess a good place to start would be asking my meds psych, because he at least deals with adults with ADHD on the reg and can be like “Well, first we gotta get you some robot arms.” 

I just like the idea of having robot arms, really. The hammer’s a bonus! 

...my meds psych is a very nice man but he’s also super earnest and will probably not understand why I find the robot arms thing so funny. 

[mylifeisjustafeverdream]

A Retelling of My Mind Whilst Reading Shadow Kissed-

Omg it's the Sixth Sense up in this bitch

Bitch when are you ever "just tired" when weird shit starts happening to you, I swear to fuck.

Rose is so me because I too would rather die than spend an extended amount of time with my best friends boyfriend.

Eddie Castile the man that you are.

From the bottom of my heart I hope Jesse gets his shit rocked.

Omg Rose girl do something, ANYTHING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US.

Least Favorite Trope: Entire plot would be resolved if this dumbass just like communicated the issues she is having OMFG.

If Rose Hathaway has no haters all her teachers must be dead because wtf is their issue???

Homegirl is unstable at best.

I feel like at this point she should probably go to where Mason the Friendly Ghost is pointing.

Girly-pop that's not a migraine....

I do not fucking trust that bitch Tatianna

*Viktor explains master plan* "Cool motive still murder"

*Law and Order sounds*

HE JUST SAID THAT SHIT IN OPEN COURT IT'S ON THE RECORD

How much of an asshole do you have to be that it's more believable that you're lying than a crime having actually happened lol

Lissa is so clueless it's kinda funny.

You know what I hope Rose fucks Adrienne and gets pregnant just to spite Tatianna.

She wants her nails done omg she's just a girl 🥺

*starts looking at my tarot book to see if this is accurate*

I love when Dimitri starts lore dropping to Rose

Well.... I think they know about the ghosts now.

That doctor is the only rational adult at the school cause literally why tf didn't she talk to a counselor.

Her therapist just clocked her so hard.

Well that's an unfortunate fact about Shadow Kissed Anna

Dimitri took part in that attack exercise specifically so she would hop on it lmao

Can't even celebrate for a moment before Lissa is off doing something dumb I swear to god

Lissa try not to get tortured challenge go

*New power unlocked*

YES ROSE BEAT HIS ASS GIRL......oh shit.....GIRL YOU GOT HIM IT'S GOOD.

She's like a feral cat.... Dimitri should use a spray bottle.

Oh my GOD IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE REMAIN FUCKING CALM

Girl you gotta give me more details than that PLEASE

"My body ached" that'll happen when your first time is with a 6'7 Russian built like a tank

CAN WE NOT HAVE ONE GOD DAMN MOMENT OF PEACE

Girl I'm gonna throw up he's all alone out there.

CHRISTIAN OZERA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

HE DIDN'T DIE THANK FUCK

Mason upstaging Dimitri even from the afterlife that's my man right there.

SECRET TUNNELS, SECRET TUNNELS THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS

The uncanny ability that 17 year old female herions have to radicalize societies is amazing

Do y'all think Dimitri came up with that life plan while he was fighting the strigoi?

"You're scared of my mother" um yea girl she's fs going to catch an attempted murder charge once she finds out.

*Clenched my jaw so tight during the cave fight it started to hurt*

Oh my God girl stop internal monologuing about how everything is going to work out THAT ALWAYS GOES POORLY

Oh God it's that blonde bitch from earlier this is going to be so much worse than him being dead.

Rose: *literally tries to throw herself back into a vicious attack just to save Dimitri's body*

Everyone Else: She just respected him as a teacher so much there's no other possible explanation.

Lissa clocking what was happening with Rose and Dimitri just now is like when someone steals the answer on Wheel of Fortune after the other contestant mispronounced the phrase

*Knows it's definitely going to happen* "Dimitri is a strigoi"*gasps*

I'm shocked they didn't grab like a single Guardian teacher to try and talk down Rose like why tf did they think Kirova would have any affect.

I know it's not malicious on Lissa's part but I'm glad Rose is finally speaking about how one sided this relationship is.

"Off to kill the man I love" oh this next book is going to fuck me up.