#sp's headspace

[pernesophe]

Wind Breaker Boys x Touch Starved Reader

(Minors, Ageless and Blank Blogs DNI)

Synopsis: How the Wind Breaker boys would handle a touch averse / touch starved S/O.

Characters in this post (they're 18+ for this post) MDNI:

Togame Jo (TW: suggestive / smut - kind of poetic?, comfort, fluff)

Endo Yamato (TW: smut, comfort, fluff)

Takiishi Chika (TW: smut - kind of poetic?, comfort, fluff, violence (minimal))

Master List (I have no rights to these characters, the works they come from, or the art/screenshots/manga panels used in this post)

Togame Jo

(~1862 wc)

Togame and you have freshly started dating, but he swiftly figured out on his own how adverse you are to physical touch when he first met you and stepped a little too close for comfort. Immediately, you had tensed up and Togame took a step back, thinking his stature had scared you, but you relaxed right away and continued the amiable conversation with him. Togame was really enamored with you from the start, so even though you never said anything he made sure to be extra cautious while getting to know you, and once the two of you started dating, to not cross any boundaries.

By the end of the first month from when your relationship began, you start to wonder why Togame hasn’t tried to take your relationship to the next level. Pretty soon thereafter, you come to the realization that he hasn’t been taking your relationship further because of you. 

A month or so into the relationship, making your way to Ori to meet him for lunch, when you are grabbed by a group of delinquents. You’re lucky that you were close enough to Ori for Togame to hear you scream as one of the guys grabs you roughly by the arm and drags you into an alley where he crowds you against a wall. Immediately freeze and tense up - trying to make yourself smaller by pressing your back into the wall. The other three stand at the mouth of the alley to block you from the view of any passerbyers. 

Before it can go any further, Togame rounds the corner at a sprint and tackles two of the guys at once - swiftly knocking them out on the ground - and then turns to punch the other one who was still blocking the alley. Unfortunately he was ready as he punches Togame squarely in the face, but your boyfriend isn’t treating this like a run of the mill street fight. Barely fazed by the fist connected to his jaw, Togame grabs the guy around the torso and swings him up in the air before throwing him on the ground like a basketball. The thug bounces a couple of times before he settles there unconscious.

At this point, the one crowding you against the wall has pulled you in front of him and was brandishing a knife to your throat, but Togame is staring at your terrified expression and the endless stream of tears falling down your cheeks. You’ve never seen this look on Togame’s face before - he looks like he’s ready to murder the man, and you half believed he would too. With one step forward, Togame reaches out and grabs the man’s hand that is holding the knife. As he does, you hear the bones cracking in his hand just before your boyfriend grabs the man’s face and rips him off of you like he was tearing tissue paper away from a precious gift. The man is unconscious before he even hits the ground, leaving you and Togame in the alley under a thick veil of silence. 

Slowly, he turns to you with a concerned expression etched into his face, “Are you hurt?” Whispering to you as if you’re a wounded animal, but you quickly shake your head no at him. ”Are you okay?” Posing the question with his brows raised high as even more concern bleeds into his voice.

”Mhm!” Humming with a firm nod as you quickly wipe your tears on your sleeves, but as you look up you see Togame reaching for you and then stop himself short - deciding not to altogether. He doesn’t notice you looking though as he shoots you a gentle smile.

”Wanna go back to my place and chill out for a bit? I can order take out,” offering as he tilts his head towards the mouth of the alley. Nodding quickly as you fall in stride with him - heading towards his home side by side. Along the way you notice that Togame is fidgety - almost nervous - like he had done something wrong. Occasionally his vibrant green eyes would drift down towards you only to see you staring at him curiously, and he’d quickly look away.

Once the two of you are back at his house, and he’s sitting on the couch, you go and grab the first aid kit before silently coming to stand in between his legs. Togame has his head leaning against the back of the couch with his eyes closed so he doesn’t notice you come up.

“Um, Jo?” murmuring quietly, and he sits up - a little surprised - to see you standing in his space, something you rarely do unless the two of you are in a crowded place. “Can I clean you up?” Requesting gently, and he just stares at you for a beat before nodding dumbly. 

Some of the Shishitoren guys who also had girlfriends thought it was weird that you never bandaged Togame up like their partners would offer to do for them. Togame never let them say anything to you about it though, and never asked you to, because he never wanted to put you in an uncomfortable position.

So, he sat in complete silence - totally still - as he studied your face with intrigued green eyes while you gingerly cleaned his face and hands before bandaging his knuckles. Neither of you speak whatsoever, and when you’re finished you meet his vibrant green orbs with yours which were filled with so many unspoken things. Togame tries not to feel disappointed as you pack up the kit and take it back to the kitchen, but he can’t help but lean his head back and sigh as he closes his eyes again.

”Jo?” Your timid voice jolts him upright again to find you standing where you were just a few moments ago, hands clasped behind your back as you peer down at him. He’s dead silent as you lean closer until the ends of your hair fall forward and brush his chest, your faces only inches apart. Togame gulps loudly.

”I think you’ve already realized that I don’t really enjoy being touched…” he slowly nods at your words. “...but you are allowed to touch me, because I think I would enjoy that.” Explaining in that same soft tone with an urging edge to it now. Togame blinks up at you rapidly, swallowing thickly, before reaching out and wrapping his arms around you before pulling you down into his lap, flush against his chest. 

Without hesitation, he buries his nose in your hair and inhales your scent as he squeezes you even tighter into him. After a moment, he hears you sniffling and he immediately releases you and cups your face to make you look at him.

”Did I hurt you?!” Crying out quietly to you as his vibrant eyes fill with worry.

”N-no!” Laughing out as you shake your head at him, despite your tear stained cheeks, “i-it feels good. Overwhelming, but good.” You explain slowly to him with a small, reassuring smile. Slowly, he nods as he brings his arms down to his sides. “I just didn’t get this a lot growing up, so I didn’t even know I, like… really needed it y’know?” You try to explain in a calm tone as tears continue spilling down your cheeks. A notch forms in his brow as he processes what you’re saying, but slowly he nods again.

”Do you want me to…” he trails off as he holds his arms out lightly around you again, and you quickly nod and lean into his chest again as he squeezes you tightly against him. Eventually, Togame asks if you wanna lay down on the couch, and you happily nod. He spoons you after he puts something funny on the TV in the background, and after a short while you feel something growing hard against your back. You don’t mention it, but every so often you squirm a little closer to him - wiggling your hips when you do - until Togame releases a low groan.

”Y/N, I’m not sure if you know what you’re doing, but you’re driving me insane… please,” voice pleading as he pulls you closer to his chest and lays a wide, heavy palm on your hip to halt any further movements. Giggling softly, you throw a mischievous look over your shoulder at him before deliberately rolling your hips back into him. Letting out a frustrated sigh as his breath fans along your cheek as he slowly rolls his hips to grind against you while burying his face in your shoulder. Togame felt like his control was a string flying in the wind as it fluttered from his grasp only to just barely catch it before it flew away completely, but still, he somehow maintained his agonizingly slow pace.

”Jo,” moaning out softly as you caress your fingertips along his bicep causing him to pause in his movements and pull his head up to look at your flushed face. His breathing slightly elevated. “I want more… is that okay?” Asking so timidly, eyes half lidded as you peer up at him.

His jaw tightens and then relaxes before he gulps loudly. “Ye-yeah, but are you sure?” Asking, so very seriously before you nod up at him earnestly. 

”Mhm! I trust you Jo,” whispering softly to him and with that the string, and any restraint he had, was flying away in the breeze. Togame’s stature was much more substantial than yours, so even though you were now stark naked - you were securely covered by his warm, hardened body. The pressure was a lot, but felt so comforting as he ghosted a hand along your thigh that is flush against his hip. 

Letting Togame feel you… Feeling Togame… It was like a humid spring morning. As soon as the sun burned away the mist it would become hot and wet, but right now it was still cool despite the dampness clinging to your skin. The moon was still high up in the sky as Togame’s lips ghosted over your dewy skin - his tongue poking out to swipe along your collarbone. The sun’s rays have only just begun clearing away the mist when the pressure subsided as Togame pressed open mouthed kisses over your hip. His tongue eagerly searches for the dew that’s collected in between your thighs. His name and little whines tumble from your lips like the birds announcing the rising sun, and only after they subsided did he finally return to you. The moon disappeared from the sky as the sun hung high above in its place now.

After this day, you are still averse to physical touch, but never from Togame. Actually, much to the rest of Shishitoren’s surprise, you were quite clingy with Togame: always holding his hand and wrapping your other around his bicep whenever you could, often sitting in his lap when it was appropriate, greeting him with a warm hug where you bury your face into his chest and inhale him deeply. Of course - now - you always clean and bandage Togame up after a fight while he studies your calm expression with rapt interest every time - just like he did the first time.

Endo Yamato

(~2378 wc)

Endo is much more touchy feely with you than you are with him, and even though you tense up often when he initiates physical contact - he doesn’t shy away from you or let go of you unless you tell him directly that you feel uncomfortable. Whenever this does happen, he just smiles at you and nods while giving you a little personal space. It’s a little bit of a possessive thing - you both frequent the Red Light District and he wants those around you to know that you’re his - but also from the moment you met he got the sense that you want to be touched but just don’t know how to ask.

You had gone to him for your first tattoo, which is when he first touched you and you had tensed up so bad under the needle that he sighed out, “Y’know this is gonna be absolute hell if you don’t relax, right?” His brow arched with annoyance, and you quickly nodded in embarrassment.

Screwing your eyes shut, you took a deep breath before willing your body to relax. You had managed to stay relaxed, and still without wincing once - though at times your body shook from just laying on the table that long - but you never asked for a break. Endo honestly was impressed at how well you handled the pain versus one gentle touch from his hand.

Before you left, you asked him about the healing process and if it would be considerably raised off the skin after healing. He explained that it kind of would, but not a ton and offered to let you feel one of his tattoos for reference. You had hesitated when he held out his arm before hovering your fingertips above the inked skin, even peering back up at him with a small notch in your brow as if to ask, ‘are you sure it’s okay’. A wide grin spread over his face at your hesitation and big doe eyes - as if you were worried you would hurt him.

”It’s fine, go ahead.” He encouraged you with a laugh, even raising his arm so he brushed your fingertips with it, and with that you oh so gently caressed the inky black lines as your eyes lit up at the new experience. After you left that day, Endo thought about you extensively - much to Takiishi’s distaste, until the next time you showed up and his fiery haired companion realized that whatever Endo saw in you was just different from himself.

A few months later, you had timidly ended up in Endo’s shop for another tattoo, to which he immediately asked to see his work and how it healed. When you showed it to him he complimented you on how well taken care of it is as he ghosted his hand over the inked skin. This time you shivered, and didn’t tense at all for him. This appointment went by much more smoothly than the last time, but before you left Endo gave you his number and told you to contact him directly for your next tattoo rather than walk in - so he can brainstorm the design with you more. Gratefully, you nodded and took his contact info.

The next time you messaged him about a tattoo, he insisted on meeting you somewhere for coffee while discussing it. He made sure to sit as close to you as possible as you watched him sketch out a few designs - his bicep brushing your arm, and thigh touching your leg the whole time. At first, you tensed, but Endo didn’t move away, and after a few minutes you relaxed and even leaned into him to get a better look at the design. 

After that you started hanging out with Endo and Takiishi outside of your tattoo appointments, though it was obvious you were solely there for Endo - you and Takiishi got along well enough. For a while your relationship with Endo was unclear because he never officially asked you out. Takiishi was actually the one to clarify the status for you both when one day you were walking with them when someone they knew asked who you were. Before you or Endo could say anything, Takiishi - with the flattest affect - said, “That’s Endo’s girl. Make sure nobody messes with her.” It shocked both of you that he would go as far to say that, but also that he was able to clock your relationship status well before you were able to.

Finally, maybe 6 months after being deemed official, the two of you are chilling at his shop after he closed up for the day. Endo sits down right next to you and then turns to you without warning before scooping you into his lap where holds you as he lets his hands wander lightly over your back and thighs.

“E-Endo, what’re you-” Murmuring in a bewildered tone, but he silences you with one heated look from his cobalt eyes.

”Impatient.” He answers simply, to which your eyebrows furrow - deeply perplexed. “I’m impatient, because I think that you actually really want this, but you can’t bring yourself to admit it,” posing his dilemma to you with a tilt of his head. Gulping loudly as you quickly avert your gaze, but he reaches up and gently grabs you by the jaw and makes you look at him.

”If it’s not clear by now, I want to give you what you want, but I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what it is,” he explains in a slightly gentler, yet urging tone this time. After a pregnant pause you swallow thickly as you nod at him.

”I-I do… want this, but, um… I have no experience, and I’m awkward, and I tense up when I’m touched cause I’m not used to it and all of that seems really not attractive,” whispering softly as a blush creeps over your face. Endo releases your jaw only to wrap his arms tightly around you and pull you flush to his chest as he throws his head back to let out a boisterous laugh.

”Do you think I wasn't aware of that?” Asking with a slight rib to his tone after his laughter died down before sitting up to meet your gaze again. “I love your awkward, inexperienced self and not once have I thought you were ‘not attractive’ because of it, or the fact that you tense up when you’re touched. It doesn’t mean you’re untouchable,” he assures you through a lighthearted chuckle. Not knowing the effect those words would have on you, Endo is shocked to see you crumble and bury your face in his neck as you start to sob.

”Shit-fuck! What’d I say wrong?” Demanding with a voice filled with worry as he starts rubbing your back soothingly.

”No-nothing,” you warble out as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck. Stunned, Endo just reaches up and holds the back of your head while his other arm is braced around your back to hold you firmly. “Yo-you really think I’m touchable?” Murmuring in such a soft voice that absolutely bleeds vulnerability. Endo’s heart twists at the pain in your voice, and the unspoken sentiment that you really thought you were untouchable.

”Yeah, I really, really do.” Whispering into your hair and you just bury your face more into his neck. After a long, long while - once your sobbing subsides and it’s just the sound of you two breathing - Endo breaks the silence. ”Do you want me to show you just how touchable you are?” The question wrapped in cautious hesitation  - prepared for you to say no, but instead you slowly lean away from him so you can meet his gaze. 

”I do,” Murmuring softly as you nod - your eyes gazing pleadingly into his fiery, cobalt ones.

Endo smiles gently at you before maneuvering you onto your back on the couch with him laying in between your legs. He starts by placing chaste kisses all over your face before finally settling on your lips. Slow in his touches at first - deliberate in feeling you - and then his mouth becomes hungry. Nipping at your bottom lip until you part your lips so he can slip his tongue in your mouth and caress your wet muscle with his. As he worked his mouth over yours, his hands slowly mapped out your supple curves and dips as they roamed across your body eagerly.

Breaking from the kiss so you can swallow some air doesn’t slow Endo’s movements as he redirects his lips to your jawline, down the column of your neck, over your collarbones and coming to a stop at your now bare chest. In the whirlwind of kissing and hands, you had barely noticed that Endo had expertly stripped you down to your panties. Squeezing one of your breasts with a wide, rough palm as he brings his lips to the other and wraps them around your pert nipple.

While working his hand and mouth over your breasts, he begins slowly rolling his hips into yours causing a delicious friction you’ve never felt before. Once your breathing is uneven and you keep whining with your fingers carded through Endo’s hair, he finally releases your breasts and places open mouthed kisses down to your drenched panties. Peeling them off of you, he then litters kisses and gentle nips all over your thighs before settling in to absolutely devour your dripping core. Between his tongue and long, thick fingers - you’re struck with rolling orgasms that send euphoric shocks to your nerve endings until he comes up for air. Licking your arousal from his lips and fingers with a satisfied smile curling his lips as he crawled back up to you.

”I think you get the idea, though I haven’t done nearly everything I wanted to yet.” Musing softly as he settles in next to you and pulls you into his arms. The two of you lay like that in the quiet of his shop until you get your bearings about you again.

Eventually, he takes you to the small back room that has a roll out bed roll that just barely fits the two of you, and then cleans you up before he lays you both down to cuddle. He suggests spooning, and you ask if you can be the big spoon so you can hide your face in his back - a tad embarrassed of all the new sounds you were making earlier. So that’s how the two of you are laid out - you curled into his back while tracing his tattoos as he relishes in your light touches.

Tracing your index fingertip along the one he has with Takishi - you suddenly ask, “you really love him don’t you?” A long pause passes before he hums as if he’s deep in thought.

“Yes, but more like art. I see a painting when I look at him, so it’s just hard not to admire him…” Endo muses softly without moving to look at you. Sitting up and folding your legs under you so you can look down at him, and he rolls on his back so you are in the crook of his arm flush with his side as he peers back up at you.

“If I were a piece of art - what would I be?” Asking innocently with a slight tilt of your head as you study his expression with curious eyes. A long moment passes as he really takes the time to consider the question. 

“A Tapestry.” He finally responds in an airy tone, and you brow furrows in question. 

“Why?” Breathing out softly as you lean a little closer - the tips of your hair brushing his chest - but he just stares up at the ceiling while he forms his answer. After a pregnant pause, he finally parts his lips to speak.

“Because a tapestry is made of all this beautiful material that needs to be processed and spun, and then it has to be handled to make the finished product. Bent every which way - every movement - every single touch was solely for utility. But the finished product is still moveable - like a thick blanket - none of the threads became stiff with all that abuse. When all is said and done though, the tapestry is just hung up on some wall - beautiful, and becoming even more beautiful with age due to how the thread may weather… but you’re not allowed to touch it anymore. I’ve always thought it was the cruelest way to treat a piece of art…” Releasing a sorrowful sigh as his blue eyes cut back to yours. “Because, really, if you just reached out and caressed it,” he squeezes you closer to him as his other hand drifts up your back before murmuring the rest, “then you would find it’s still so soft and comforting so many years after it was woven. Like she’s been silently begging to feel someone’s touch all this time.” Tears start to fall down your cheeks as his words hang in the air like incense smoke swirling around you. 

Wordlessly, he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you down to lay on top of his chest while he presses chaste kisses onto the top of your head and lets you silently cry into him. The two of you stay like that for hours - you relishing in finally being able to lean on someone like this, and Endo just relishing in you. 

After this day, your relationship sees drastic changes - mostly from you. Firstly, you no longer shy away from Endo’s touches or him being in your space, in fact you lean into him now with a serene smile and big doe eyes trained on his joyful expression. Secondly, since that day, you’ve started reaching out to touch him - grabbing his hand to hold while you two are strolling about, asking if you can sit in his lap while he’s looking over tattoo designs, getting on your tip toes while gripping his bicep so you can plant a kiss on his cheek. The biggest development is that, whereas Endo always made you blush at the start of your relationship, now not a day goes by that you don’t make your boyfriend bright pink from your affections.

Takiishi Chika

(~1988 wc)

How did you and Takiishi start dating? Well did you actually ever officially start? The two of you met when you were being hassled in the Red Light District while just trying to get to your tattoo appointment, and then this guy with long fiery red hair took them out in the blink of an eye.

You had tried to thank him, but he just ignored you - turning on his heel and kept walking. After shrugging it off, you went on your way - only the two of you were walking the same way. 

“Are you following me?” Eventually he whirls around to face you, and demands in an annoyed tone.

”Oh God no! I’m sorry - I think we’re actually just heading in the same direction…” murmuring timidly. When he just stares at you emotionlessly, you quickly add. “I’ll wait a few minutes and let you get ahead of me, so I’ll be out of your hair!” To which he just narrows his eyes at you and stares.

”That doesn’t help when I think you’re following me.” He states flatly.

”Right. Well, what do you want me to do?” Inquiring innocently with a tilt of your head as you waited for his instruction. At that, he furrowed his brow deeper at you.

”Where are you going?” He asked monotonically - expression bored.

”Uh, I have a tattoo appointment with this guy named Endo…” you answered quietly. At that, his face didn’t light up, but there was recognition there.

”I’m heading that way too. Come on,” he directed you, and you followed along without question. From there, you don’t know why, but Takishi took an interest in you if you could call it that. He more or less just wanted you around, and if you weren’t he wouldn’t get mad but he would ask where you’ve been and why he hasn’t seen you. Someone called you “Takiishi’s Girl” at some point, and the rest was history.

Regardless of him expecting your presence - he never really touched you. He does listen to you though - like the time Endo was telling you about his tattoo design for them, and your boyfriend (?) got annoyed and punched Endo. It was the first time you witnessed it, and it really bothered you. Endo laughed it off, but you looked at Takiishi so sadly with your hands clasped in front of you and whispered, “I really wanted to hear about your and Endo’s tattoo though…”

Endo almost laughed at you, but Takiishi just stared at you with a notch in his brow for a long moment - so long you thought he may be really angry with you - but instead his expression smoothed out and he just said “my bad,” and then asked Endo to tell you about it. Both, Endo and you were completely stunned, and you were worried you had done something wrong, but Takiishi never brought it up so you didn’t either. You don’t know if he stopped hitting Endo altogether, or just in front of you, but you were grateful for it - Endo seemed to be too.

After about 8 months of being in Takiishi’s world, and noticing that you were the only female he deigned to give any time to you start to wonder if you’re allowed to touch him. Testing the waters at first just by walking a little closer to him down the street, and sitting a little closer to him on the couch. Sometimes you’d stand a breath away from him in Endo’s shop and wonder if he hates it, doesn’t mind, or doesn’t notice at all.

One day, you miscalculate as you’re walking shoulder to shoulder with him - Takiishi barely sparing you a glance - when you trip over something in the street and tumble face forward towards the sidewalk. Before you crash on the pavement, you’re hoisted back to your feet by Takiishi in one fluid motion. Immediately you start apologizing for being so clumsy, but he just says, “don’t worry about it,” before he checks you over to make sure you aren’t hurt. Then he turns as if nothing happened and continues walking, but you walk a little farther from him than before just to be on the safe side. Throughout your walk, Takiishi drifts closer and closer to you until he’s shoulder to shoulder with you once again.

When the two of you get back to his place, he settles wordlessly on the couch while you change into some comfier clothes. The thing about Takiishi is - he’s never openly affectionate so you have to look for the signs. For example, he noticed that when you came over you would bring comfy clothes and sleepwear to hang out in, and it seemed like a hassle to him, so the next time you came over he told you to look in the bottom left drawer of his dresser. What you found was just a bunch of his clothes, so at first you said, “cool,” to which he rolled his eyes and said, “stop being a pack mule and wear those when you need something comfortable or something to sleep in. Leave your things in that drawer if you want.” It was so apathetic the way he said it, but the fact that he did it at all meant he was thinking about you.

When you come back to the living room, you sit close to him, but not touching as he puts on some action film in the background and mindlessly scrolls on his phone. Peering at him out of the corner of your eye, you think back on how the two of you met and how you ended up where you sit now - comfortably next to one of the most dangerous people in the area. And yet the only thing plaguing your mind is how to ask him to let you hold his hand.

  Suddenly, Takiishi looks at you straight on with those piercing amber eyes, making you jump as he asks, “Why’re you staring?”

”Um…” humming as your eyes widen under the intensity of his stare, and he narrows his eyes at you as he waits for your answer. “I want to hold your hand, but I don’t know how to ask,” blurting out before you look at your hands in your lap in embarrassment. Silence, except the sound of gunfire from the TV.

”So just hold my hand then,” he says with an undertone of exasperation. When you look over you see the back of his hand is now resting on his thigh - palm up and fingers outstretched for you. Hesitating only slightly, you reach out and take his hand. It’s warm and rough, you think to yourself with delight. Takiishi watches your face light up in triumph as you relax a bit more into the couch, and he can’t help the almost imperceivable laugh that puffs past his lips.

”What? Were you afraid or something?” Takiishi inquires, and when you look up at him you see a rare, amused smile curling his lips and a hue of adoration in his eyes.

”Um, well… not scared, just nervous?” Asking rhetorically before biting your bottom lip apprehensively.

”Why?” He scoffs out, genuinely curious causing you to laugh a little - forgetting your boyfriend isn’t scared or nervous about much.

”Be-because I guess I’m just not used to it…” explaining slowly and when he just cocks his head in question, you elaborate. “I mean - I just haven’t done a lot of this,” you hold up his hand in yours, “or anything else… and I don’t know - I want to - but I don’t know how to initiate things, and sometimes it doesn’t seem like you’re interested so… I guess I get a little worried you wouldn’t want to do this with me…” Trailing off quietly as you start to cower under his unblinking gaze. Another long beat of silence passes barring the gunfire and Takiishi’s deafening stare.

”You thought I wouldn’t want to hold your hand?” He asks in discernable disbelief. Brow creasing as he thought back to catching you after you tripped earlier and how satisfying your soft curves felt in the palms of his hands, and how he really didn’t want to let you go. Sadly, you avert your gaze and nod slowly. 

Takiishi studies you for a long moment and how your expression was so soft and vulnerable. He still had trouble placing why he wanted you around, when you could never hold your own in a fight - least of all against him. Why he never even considered hurting you, and actually found the thought made him incredibly angry. Why he craved your presence… but in these moments it was clear. He just hated to admit that he wanted someone to be vulnerable with him - feel safe enough to be that way around him - and you were. Takiishi really wasn’t one to initiate physical affection, but in this moment he felt like… screw it.

Disentangling your hand from his as you look at him in shock - like you were in trouble - but he’s already picking you up and setting you on his lap so you’re straddling him with his wide palms gripping your hips. Now you’re staring down at him with wide eyes, mouth agape in utter shock, and your hands laying lightly over Takiishi’s hardened chest. Slowly, he lets his hands drift along your curves, down over your thighs - squeezing gently - before snaking his arms around your torso and pulling you flush to his chest so the two of you are nose to nose.

”Y/N. I hope you understand that I’m never gonna be a touchy feely person, or talk about my emotions in depth,” he says bluntly and you swallow thickly. “But, don’t ever not talk to me because you’re nervous, because… I do want to hold your hand.” Murmuring quietly before tilting his head forward until his forehead is pressed to yours and he’s staring into the depths of your soul. “I want to do a lot more, if you’ll let me…” his voice grows low and gravelly as he tightens his arms around you - causing you to squeak as you grip his shirt in your fists. Mouth running dry as you silently stare at your boyfriend in shock, only bringing that amused smile to his lips again. “Y/N.” He speaks firmly - jolting you out of your stupor. 

”Mhm?” Humming back in a stilted tone, to which a wide grin spreads over his face, almost throwing you into shock once more.

”Am I allowed to touch you?” Asking directly this time, and you just nod dumbly. ”Use your words,” he commands with an undertone of warning.

”Ye-yes, you’re allowed to touch me,” you whisper dryly and his grin only grows as he reaches up and cups your cheek with a warm, rough palm before guiding your lips to his. 

Touching Takiishi… Kissing Takiishi… it felt like you were caught in the undertow. With each wave of movement - a squeeze of his hand on your supple curves, a gentle nip to your bottom lip, a sweet caress of his tongue against yours - you were pulled under into a swirl of emotions and sensations that rushed through your veins and over your skin. Only for you to breach the surface for a gulp of air before being dragged under again by his suffocating warmth. It felt overwhelming - overstimulating - like Takiishi was enveloping you completely, and honestly you loved every second of it.

When everything is said and done, you awake - naked as the day you were born - wrapped in Takiishi’s arms and pressed flush to his chest. His all encompassing presence did not diminish one bit even as he slept. After this development in your relationship, Takishi still doesn’t hold your hand openly, or is openly affectionate in public, but he does make sure you feel his touch with a much greater frequency. No longer do you question if Takiishi craves your touch either.

[tronlightcyclerun]

the problem with having had the same simply plural account since i was 13 is that i do not fucking remember who half these people are . no past me i dont know what you meant when you gave me one initial and a colour and no further details ???

[masked-and-doomed]

How do I make sure I don't get brain worms over Kenny

Actually maybe I'll never get brain worms because he's already suffered enough and I don't wanna add to his pain (murder and maiming is my affection)

[currentlyonstandbi]

if i have a nickel for every time i became obsessed with a nigh-omnipotent female villain who discovered the ability to rearrange the universe around them on a molecular level and used it for nefarious purposes, i would have 2 nickels .

[cosmicspark24]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ Pick a card time! ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎

☁︎ Collective energies! ☁︎

Hi everyone! It's taken me a fair bit to get this done for you so any shares, likes and comments are appreciated. While reading I found some collective themes you can skip this bit or come back to it if you like it. Collectively there were lots of themes surrounding; new beginnings, new love (lots of romantic offers/new relationships), embracing creativity, investing in yourself, turning pain into power, going after your dreams, mental prisons due to perspective shift being needed, betrayals & travel. I hope you enjoy, I will be keeping these coming in 2025. Please check out my blog if you have a chance and there will be a Youtube channel coming next year. Love ya,

Thando

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Hello Pile 1:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of 2025 for you is new beginnings. What a wonderful start to a new year!! I see a few different themes for the people in this pile. We will begin with this theme of work. I feel that some of you have started new jobs, been promoted or are renewing your approach to work. There is an energy here of carefully balancing all the plates in your life, ensuring that you drop not a single one. I see this being something you achieve with relative easy. This does not mean it requires effort. I see some of you being very concerned with the idea of equal give and take. If the company refuses to pay me more, then I reserve the right to do the bare minimum and never agree to their attempts at giving me overtime - type energy. So if you have been thinking about a financial venture and have been feeling like you are not getting as much back as you are receiving, what can you change to facilitate you taking back your own power? I see especially for any masculines or women in their masculine energy/era that making money or juggling the important practical parts of your life is greatly important. I see you putting everything in your power in driving your new beginnings foreward. In that, I see that you are the wind beneath your wings. I am proud of you pile 1. For any masculines in this pile who have been confused about how to proceed with a relationship, I see you making moves towards that. For some of you this is physical travel to the one you love, for others you are taking a metaphorical journey back to your person. This reading is heavily talking about or directed at masculine energies. For women, I see this as you finally receiving clarity from a SP. This is someone you know to already have an interest but it is possible you were being given mixed messages.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of 2025 has to do with either you or a specific person. The theme is showing affection and attention to the one you like. So just take what applies. I feel that any confusion you may have had about a SP were cleared the moment you made the mental decision to stop hiding your own feelings from yourself. I'm seeing the energy of someone writing a message, pressing send, throwing away the phone and hiding under the covers. Then overthinking...well it's all in your head. Remember who the fuck you are in the second half of the year. Remind yourself that anything meant for you will make its way to you with ease. I see also for anyone not in this headspace, that you are focused on yourself. You are focused on treating yourself to whatever you want. You suddenly feel you haven't been socialising enough, and suddenly you have parties booked a few times a month. For the sexual beings, I see you getting yours in the second half of 2025. I see one-night stands, friends with benefits or anything that you like engaging in sexually being done wantonly. I see this self-focus on filling your own cup with dreams pr creativity bringing you immense peace. For those pursuing a SP, your success with this individual will bring you greater peace. Isn't that delicious?

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Hello Pile 2:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of 2025 is going to be money/business success. I feel that some of you have fully come into adulthood. I'm getting the feeling of 'my brain just fully developed'. The energy of this pile is that of someone who balances their maturity with their inner child needs. I see possibly a new job or a new business venture which came up as well for the previous pile. This new start can cause some confusion or introspection depending on the individual. I sense that you are scared of new beginnings or are used to doing things one sort of way but life has ushered you upon a new path. I see that the answers are within you, but you are too frightened to fully stand in your power and go, 'yes, I knew the last job was literally sucking my soul so it's okay that I have to pivot'. The key to happiness and business success for you is through following your passions. I know, how cliche. Yet you never know how a random talent or hyper-fixation can lead to something real and tangible. Pile 2, I see you moving on from previous heartbreak. You are burying and leaving behind painful memories of love and instead replacing it with passion, creativity and who knows...maybe new love.

2025, 2nd half:

The similarities in the actual cards I drew, is almost an exact replica with pile 1 so you may also relate to that pile. The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is all about renewal. Like a butterfly birthed from a cocoon I see you rise with fervour. You are focused and grinding. You are going so hard for yourself and achieving your dreams. You are being daring about things you've always wanted to try. I see you challenging yourself with hobbies, with thrill seeking activities. I see you achieving professional success and being in the spotlight for those achievements. Embrace it, soak it up. It is meant to be, let this be all the validation you need. There is a couple or two individuals who are aware of their spiritual connection to each other in this pile. You may have been on a break, or travelling or apart for some (necessary) reasons. You will get a sign sometime in this part of the year to connect with this person. So one of you will be reaching out via DM or however you both prefer your communications. I see a masculine in this pile in particular being very vocal about insecurities to do with work/business. I feel that this could be a masculine leaning on his mother through this time period. Just do whatever you need to to process your very valid fears then let it go. I recommend a burning ritual if this applies to you. This doesn't have to be a male person but whoever identifies with coming across at this stage of their lives in a masculine way. I see as a result of these conversations, you will make a decision on how to proceed and take appropriate action toward your new beginning.

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Hello Pile 3:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of you 2025 surrounds you being unsure how to proceed with a particular situation. I see a masculine energy or that of a person who is charming charismatic and self-assured,  being defensive and on guard with their heart after realising that they've the  love of their life. We always imagine that getting what we want we will immediately accept and embrace it. Instead Pile 3, you meet someone you like and you immediately acknowledge how unique and how distinct the feeling they give you is but you are so determined to ignore it or tell yourself there is something else at play here. Now that I am starting to interpret, I am seeing now that this lack of certainty from you pile 3 could be coming from how unbelievable it is to you to find someone you so strongly want to attach to and immediately want to drag down the isle, lovingly of course. You feel both lucky and scared that this little bit of luck might run away. For some of you I feel that you were already on a lucky streak and have now hit the motherload. I'll be honest and say though this person is the main focus mentally and emotionally, it will not be long between you realising that they mean that much to you and that your attraction for this SP is different, to you making an honest offer. For those already in union, your story looks a little bit different. For those in union, I am seeing an unmarried couple with the man in the planning phase of engagement. You will know if this is you because the masculine in the couple is strong, sexy and self-assured. He also may have been recently defensive about how much he is working. This is because he knows you want a surprise, he knows what you want in a proposal and he is gonna make it happen. The heavens are literally opening up to help you make this deeper commitment come together. Any couples with a wedding date in this half of the year in Pile 3, I see a great wedding and a true realisation that you have done the right thing by being with this person. Any couples already married, you could simply be deepening the bonds of your love. I see this through some sort of recitation of affections or something ceremonial (whatever that means to you)

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is health. You may be having some secrets unearthed from your childhood that opens a can of worms for you to now digest. For some of you, you simple know that you have leaned too long into your naivete and have decided to finally do something to facilitate your growth and maturity. This pile is giving growth. With this new journey to explore the depths of yourself, comes gossip. There comes talks and speculation about how you are making so much money. How are you acquiring so many assets or how are you never seeming to struggle financially? Then the chatter goes into your sex life. There could be rumours you are sleeping around for money or you are being particularly sexually free at this time. This may or may not be an accurate representation of what you are doing, but that matters not. You are not defined by people who are not taking the time to know you but instead, speculating like you are spectator sport. If you are being at all promiscuous then please be aware that this can cause more burden or a different sort of trauma to unpack at a later date. By interacting with so many people, you are opening yourself up to microscopic tears to your psyche that will need to be repaired. I see you receiving messages from a SP. The feminine in question is coming through as a confident, sexy and ambitious woman. The man is coming through as ambitious, powerful and sexy. This is not necessarily gender specific so you could be the woman with the qualities of the man I see in this reading. It's not something to get hung up on. There is a sense that you are both defending what you have to the outside world while also drowning in the passion that you clearly have for each other. You're both drowning, willingly.

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Hello Pile 4:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of your 2025 is gossip and or chatter. Yet despite that being the main theme, the clarifying cards also show me a different secondary main theme which is of material comfortability. The reading has more pentacle cards than anything signalling money and resources, tangible or physical. You are coming through Pile 4 as a confident, successful single. If you are not single, you are certainly someone who feels whole and complete within themselves. This is not at the expense of another, but just an expression of the work you have done on yourself up until now. I feel the need to say Pile 4, you should be so proud of yourself for everything that you've achieved. You. Did. That. I see you being generous with you resources, but also vigilant. I see you making your younger self proud by being able to facilitate your desires materially. You have worked your way into a lucrative job or if not, you have lived a lifestyle well beyond your means and gotten comfortable with watching your savings beef up. If you need a massage you just get it, kinda energy. You don't think well, is there enough in my account, because you are either so financially responsible you know the ins and outs of your funds, or you're not pedantic but you allocate enough funds for everything you need. You run like clockwork even if it's something that you didn't always do. You have gotten to a place where you know which buttons to trigger within to achieve anything you need for different aspects of your life. You are coming across as untouchable, Pile 4. Your aura is extremely attractive right now and you could not look more delectable. You may be giving or receiving an offer of affections. This could be platonic or romantic but I feel for more of you it is romantic than platonic. Though you may have to take a second to think about it, you will consider yourself lucky in this opportunity and take it. You and your new love are happy and materially comfortable, together.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is grief/burdens. Some of the people in this pile, I see you travelling to pursue a new beginning. This could be anywhere to a new country/state. For some you are moving your whole life elsewhere while others you simply have not travelled enough and are off to make this dream a reality. There's something public about your trip. You could be documenting it or you may be very vocal about any struggles you may experience along the way. Struggles with money or logistics. Through the hardship though that you may experience along the way, you find yourself. For some you are finding yourself again, deeper aspects of your iceberg beneath the surface.  You find your own resilience and you are enchanted by it. You may at times punish yourself or self sabotage. You might spend too much on ubereats instead of saving or using sex as a distraction from your life. So long as you are being mindful and checking yourself when you feel those escapist tendencies coming through, you should be fine. A lot the changes you are going through at this time are fated. I see you going on a long journey of self-discovery, especially surrounding betrayals from others or from yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to go through this period in a messy way because it's through the chaos that greater clarity will come through. It's through the inner conflict that you find that flickering ember of light.

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Hello Pile 5:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of your reading for the first half of 2025 is parents/authority figures. I feel that in this pile someone feels that they have been betrayed or duped by a parental or authority figure. Well I am here to tell you that the instant-karma they are about to receive will make you smile a little on the inside. I see you receiving a message likely through messages/online that this individual in question has been punished. Now this could look different for different people but for some of you I sense jail. Others more like a streak of bad luck or losing something important. I see a couple represented as masculine and feminine but these are energies not actual sexes. Both thinking, separately about their shared future. It's like people who are already seeing each other starting to daydream that they can really make it work. Or this could be friends who are starting to fall for each other. Well, aren't you lucky Pile 5 for the one you want not only wants you, but you are ordained to be together. You will receive the true happiness you have longed for. You forge forward you two lovebirds, leave the dust (parent/authority figure) behind as you hold each other shamelessly into the future.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is that of sexual tension/sexual exploration and for some of you just mental self-flagellation. You take whichever sounds like it resonates. Pile 5, you are becoming more and more self actualised as time goes on. In the second half of the year, you are feeling even more so that you are understanding yourself more and therefore better able to reach your highest potential. You know you are a star, you know you are destined for greatness and you know you have the will to achieve it. You have the tenacity, the staying power and the patience. You may receive heartbreaking news of betrayal in the second half of the year. For some of you this is because the person you were with has been unfaithful in some way (could be cheating or lying or anyway which counts within your own value system). For some this news was so obscure because there was some deceptive energy from the source. Once you speak to your partner, you unearth and realise that it's not your partner that is the problem, but elements outside of your relationship that are trying to cause you confusion and evidently a breakup. Whichever group you belong, I see this being something you will conquer and overcome through your self confidence. Sometimes the best way out is through. I see you refocusing on your foals, creativity, sexuality and therefore returning yourself back to a state of true happiness. You realise that as long as you have yourself and your dreams, everything else is inconsequential.

@cosmicspark24

[pernesophe]

Wind Breaker Boys x Touch Starved Reader

(Minors, Ageless and Blank Blogs DNI)

Synopsis: How the Wind Breaker boys would handle a touch averse / touch starved S/O.

Characters in this post:

Nirei Akihiko {TW: mentions of parent's bad childhood, mention of reader not having many friends, childhood neglect of reader a bit, tons of comfort and fluff}

Suo Hayato {TW: suggestive, comfort, fluff, Suo can be a teasing little shit (in a good way)}

Sakura Haruka {TW: past abusive relationship for reader and ex shows back up, violence, mention of blood, comfort, fluff, Sakura and reader are bad at feelings}

Master List (I have no rights to these characters, the works they come from, or the art/screenshots/manga panels used in this post)

Nirei Akihiko

(~4151 wc)

It was an early spring morning when you met the blonde boy with puppy dog eyes named Nirei Akihiko. You were waiting in line at the Cactus Bakery to buy a breakfast pastry, but you were having a hard time choosing - a small notch in your brow and thumbnail caught between your teeth as you stared intently at the menu.

“Any of their bread is good - even when it’s cold!” A kind, but slightly timid voice piped up behind you. Turning in surprise, you saw a blonde boy standing there clad in a Furin uniform and a bright smile on his face. Returning his smile, you then thanked him and stepped up next to place your order.

Both of your orders came out at the same time, which was how you learned each other’s names. Nirei offered to walk you to school after that, and you gratefully agreed to the company. Typically you were rather quiet with a severe resting face so you weren’t what people would call approachable, so it was rare someone would offer their company so easily. 

The walk passed quicker than you had liked, because Nirei spent the whole time asking questions about you and jotting down notes in an animated fashion. He said it was to help look after the town as part of Bofurin, and you giggled to yourself, finding him to be immensely endearing.

Thankfully, Nirei had the confidence to ask for your contact information - “in case you ever needed Furin help when they aren’t around” - and once again you agreed without any hesitation. Later that day, you ran into Nirei and his friends on your way home and they offered to walk with you - again you were more than happy to take them up on it. They asked you questions here and there, but you enjoyed just watching the three of them interact as friends. You laughed a lot on that walk home.

After this day, it became a pretty common ritual for you and Nirei to show up at the bakery at the same time, get your orders, and then Nirei would walk you to school. On the days he didn’t have patrol, he would walk you home as well.

One day when you two were on your way home, he asked if he could text you just “to talk”. He was so nervous when he asked - hands fidgeting in front of him - but when you beamed at him and nodded excitedly, he shot you a relieved smile in return.

Funnily enough, despite your severe affect and quiet nature, Nirei always described you to people around Furin as kind, smart, witty, and pretty. The first few times a Furin member you didn’t know smiled and waved at you out of the blue, or if they said, “Hey Y/N! I think Nirei is around Pothos,” you were stunned in place blinking rapidly at them. After a while, you began smiling and waving at members of Furin first. It was just an entirely different experience from what you’ve gotten in the past, so the one day you put on that severe affect again - Nirei was a little surprised.

“Hey, sweetheart! Why don’t you let me show you a good time, instead of that mama’s boy?” Some sleazy looking thug called out as you and Nirei passed by the park. Immediately all of Nirei’s muscles tensed and he was swiftly on edge, but you turned around coolly with one lethally arched brow.

“I’m already having a good time, thanks though.” Returning with a deadpan expression as you started to turn away again. Nirei was staring at you wide eyed, eyebrows raised high, never having heard that tone from you or seen that expression on your face before. The thug’s face soured as he took a threatening step forward. Nirei raised his fists, shaky and unsure of himself, but you immediately whipped back around and crossed your arms over your chest while standing your ground. 

“What does a good time mean to you anyway? Smoking cigarettes at the park? Drinking in some back alley? Oh, I know! You must be talking about smashing the windows of storefronts.” Sneering at him coldly while you cocked your head slightly in question, or in threat - Nirei couldn’t quite tell. The thug paused in his advancements for a moment, truly not expecting to have been cut by your tongue, so then you added, “Between that and hanging out with a guy who respects his mom…” your gaze cut to Nirei before it settled back on the guy in immeasurable judgment. 

“Which do you think is the better choice?” Posing the question as you shifted your weight to one foot and pinned him with a glare that Nirei honestly thought only his mother could muster. Before the guy could advance further, you grabbed Nirei’s sleeve and turned on your heel. Knowing better than to speed away - lest the guy gave chase - you stalked away from the park instead with Nirei in tow.

When the two of you were at least a couple blocks away, you finally slowed down and released his sleeve before shaking out your arms as you released a pent up breath. Once the tension had mostly dissipated, you turned back to Nirei with a bright smile that immediately gave way to shock when you saw Nirei’s expression. Owl eyed, mouth agape with a small notch in his brow - was it just surprise, or condemnation as well? Unable to discern what he was feeling, you shrink away slightly and started to form an apology.

“You're so strong Y/N!” He suddenly blurted out as his eyes brimmed with tears, and you were stuck standing there blinking in surprise. You’ve been called a lot of things for your demeanor and sharp tongue, but never strong. At least not with the level of adoration and reverence that Nirei just said the word. 

“U-uh, th-thank you,” murmuring meekly as you bowed your head slightly. The two of you awkwardly resumed your walk home after that as the fear of abandonment rose up in your chest - even though Nirei only had good things to say about you after the ‘park incident’. After Nirei bid you goodbye, you were still a little worried that he might not want to keep hanging out with you. The thought ate at you throughout the rest of the night.

Nirei, of course, still wanted to hang out with you. Proven by the fact that when you arrived at the bakery, he had already ordered and paid for both of your breakfasts. You were a little surprised, but took it gratefully with a smile. Nirei was fidgety on the walk to your school, but about halfway through he finally spoke up.

“U-um, Y/N.” he said in a somber tone, and you looked at him curiously. “I-I really li-like you, as a friend of course, but also…” he trailed off as panic rose in his eyes and then gulped loudly. “I also like you a-as more than a friend,” he explained in an intentional timbre as he tilted his head towards you in hopes you’d understand what he meant. Instead, you just continued to stare at him curiously. After a pregnant pause, Nirei took a shaky breath before speaking again, “Wo-would you want to be my girlfriend?” He asked so timidly, so unsure of himself as you began burning bright red to the tips of your ears.

“You want to date… me?” You murmured feebly, in disbelief, as your eyes went about as wide as his with tears welling up in them. Nirei just blinked at you in shock.

Didn’t he make it obvious? But still, you were staring up at him expectantly - awaiting an answer.

“Well, ye-yeah… I think you’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, and I really love hanging out with you, and I think you’re really… pretty,” he admitted quietly while he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. A bright grin spread over your face as you nodded quickly.

“Really?!” Exclaiming as excited tears dripped to the ends of your lashes. Quickly you cleared your blurring vision with your sleeves to reveal Nirei staring back at you in shock, but still he nodded slowly. 

“I wanna date you too!” You cried breathlessly with an effervescent glint in your eye. “I think you’re really, really kind and funny. I always have a good time talking and hanging out with you,” heaving air in and out as you rushed to say the things you’ve been feeling for Nirei for the past month or so.

During your admission, Nirei’s shocked expression at your tears gave way to surprise, and then unbridled joy. A grin spread over his face as his shaking hands finally stilled. 

Of course he asked again just to make sure that you were officially dating, and when you confirmed with a vehement nod, he pulled out his notebook and jotted a few notes. When you asked what that was about, he said he started a notes page about you when you became friends, but he had to update it to “girlfriend” with the date. His expression was so innocent when he told you, which only made your heart pound in your chest as you gaily told him that he’s really adorable. He turned impossibly red and sputtered for about a minute. The two of you were excited and a little shy about your new relationship status on the way home, so Nirei didn’t hold your hand immediately that day - he waited until the very next one. 

As soon as you and Nirei left the bakery the next morning, he gently took hold of your hand, but you weren’t secure enough to tell him your hang ups with physical affection. It was obvious from the moment you met that Nirei’s upbringing was much different than yours. His seemed to be filled with a lot of love and hugs, whereas yours, well, not so much. But that’s what you loved about him. He of course noticed how tense you were when he held your hand and started to feel nervous that you didn’t like him. 

At first he chocked it up to nerves from your relationship still being so new, but over the following weeks your tension didn’t lessen. After about a month of dating, and you still borderline flinching from his touch, he brings it up to you while hanging out in his room. 

”Um, Y/N?” He intoned across the room and you hummed in response. ”Do you not like it when I touch you? Like when I hold your hand?” He posed the question quietly and with caution. Instantly, your head snapped up to meet his hurt gaze, and you shook your head vigorously at him.

”It’s not that, I swear!” You rushed to reassure him, but then you struggled to find a way to explain. “It’s just that- Well, y’know…” you sighed miserably and let your head fall into your hands. Nirei stood up and crossed the room to sit next to you on his bed.

”It’s okay Y/N, I’m not mad…” he assured you as the bed sank next to you under his weight. Warmth and the comforting scent of bread wafted from him, enveloping you completely. 

”I know,” you said softly before raising your head to shoot him a small smile. “It’s not that I don’t like holding your hand, it’s just that I’ve never held anyone’s hand, so it just feels different…” you admitted faintly, squirming a little while you spoke as your gaze fell to the floor. 

”Well, you’ve held your mom’s hand before, right? It’s not so different,” he offered gently. You just looked at him with a blank expression that caused him to tilt his head in question.

”I’m not sure if I’ve held my mom’s hand, or my dad’s… I mean, I’m sure I have, I just can’t remember. We don’t hug either… Sometimes living with them kind of feels like living with roommates,” you commented gingerly. Nirei’s eyes widened at your words, but then his face contorted incredulously for a moment before he composed himself.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Nirei asked delicately with a small, disbelieving smile as he tilted his head. Your brow furrowed as you blinked and pursed your lips - silently you thought of how to explain your home life to your abundantly loving boyfriend.

“I-I mean…” you started tacitly, and then paused to take a breath before looking at him directly. “I guess my parents just don’t do that, y’know?” Speaking in a soft, hopeful voice that he would understand, but he just gave a slight shake of his head while a notch formed in his brow. 

“My parents’ childhoods weren’t… good. They were honestly pretty bad?” You asked rhetorically with an inflection at the end, punctuated by a tilt of your head. “So, like, they try really hard y’know? They put food on the table, clothe me, give me a warm bed, make sure I go to school, and take me to the doctor when I get sick. Because their parents didn’t do those things…” You explained as tactfully as you could to your kindhearted boyfriend, whose eyes were becoming more and more horrified as you spoke.

“They didn’t really get physical affection, so they don’t know how to give it, but they provide everything else so, like - I’m fine,” you chuckled out reassuringly, as you tried to break up the thickening tension in the room. Nirei, again, shook his head slightly before intaking a deep breath which only put you more on edge.

“We-well… What about friends? You’ve been able to shake hands with or hug your friends, right?” He asked in a hopeful tone, but underneath you could see that he seemed to already know the answer.

“A-actually,” you stuttered out softly as you looked to the floor and twisted your index finger and thumb around your wrist to distract you from your mounting anxiety. “I guess I’ve had a few friends, but none that I’ve been super close to like you with Suo and Sakura.” You admitted, a little ashamed, “I think I look pretty severe to people who don’t know me, so I don’t get approached often by classmates. I’ve tried a few times, but they kind of avoided me so I stopped…” you trailed off in a whisper and slowly looked to Nirei’s face again.

”Y/N, I’m sorry. If I knew that, then I wouldn’t have made this about me,” he said earnestly in a self-admonishing voice. Blinking rapidly at him in disbelief, since he was just staring at you with so much concern - his hand fluttered out to touch your hand but stopped midway.

”What do you mean?” you scoffed lightly. “I hurt your feelings, so it is about you,” you responded, a little incredulous, but Nirei just shook his head gravely at you which caused you to take pause.

”Y/N… Do you want to hold my hand, or is it something you prefer not to do?” He asked gravely, and immediately your muscles tensed up at what that could mean for your relationship. “Either answer is perfectly fine - I’ll feel the same about you regardless, but I don’t want you to feel forced to do something that doesn’t feel okay to you.” He added firmly, eyes overly honest. 

”I-I…” you started to respond, but stopped - never really having thought about yourself in the matter before - as your eyes darted around the room nervously. 

“I think I do, but it’s hard to make myself comfortable with it…” you spoke slowly - thinking it over a bit longer - as you twirled your thumbs in your lap, “but I do want that with you.” You finally confirmed in a sure tone, and Nirei nodded slowly. 

”Well, you don’t have to make yourself comfortable all on your own, y’know?” he assured you with a voice as gentle and warm as the summer breeze while you tilted your head in question. “I mean, I can help you if you’re okay with that,” he offered tenderly in a comforting tone filled with succor. Deep, respiteful, copper eyes gazed into yours causing your heart to flutter in your chest. 

”Ho-how?” Rushing so quickly to ask that you stuttered, your eyes pleaded for an answer. Nirei smiled sadly at you as he tried to hide his vexation over your neglect, but his eyes were still filled with deep fondness and devotion for you. 

”Would it be okay if I held you?” He asked without making any moves to touch you, brows raised slightly in question, and his eyes showed with nothing but pure intent. Still, you nervously shifted on the bed to look at him more directly, a confused notch in your brow. 

”What do you mean?” You asked, utterly confused. Of course you understood what ‘being held’ meant, but it’s something you’ve only seen offered to children and seeing as you were no longer one you had kind of missed your opportunity, right? Other than that, you’ve seen it once or twice in a sappy romance film, but those were… fake, right? 

”Like you can sit in my lap and I’ll just wrap my arms around you,” he explained calmly. The air escaped your lungs all together as your eyes widened, because that really was what your sweet, and exceptionally caring Nirei was offering to you. After what felt like several minutes you nodded breathlessly.

Nirei positioned himself so he was sitting at the head of the bed, back to the wall, and then opened his arms out to you. Hesitating for a moment before you crawled up the bed, the mattress dipped under your hands and knees, until you were in between his legs and sitting in front of him. As you got closer his warmth radiated into your goosebumped skin as the scent of baked bread enveloped you even more. Nirei slowly leaned forward and grabbed your upper arms with a featherlight grip before pulling you down to lay on top of him. 

Once you’re situated with your head on his chest, he wraps his arms around you. At first you felt tense, but with the heated weight of his arms draped around you, the steady rise and fall of his chest and the rhythmic beat of his heart, and the soft cotton of his shirt against your cheek - you felt soothed and finally relaxed into his touch. The two of you stayed like that for hours, wordlessly, he held you and you let him without a trace of discomfort. Eventually you fell asleep on him, and he didn’t make any attempt to wake you until it was getting close to your curfew. Remorsefully, he woke you up and held your hand while walking you home.

Your empathetic boyfriend does well to hide his pity for you, and his ire at your home life, though that night he absolutely sobs himself to sleep remembering your confession. After this, Nirei schedules a few hours a week where he can just hold you. When you asked him why he was so insistent about it he said firmly, “If I’m the first person to ever show you affection like this, then I have a lot of time to make up for - and I have every intention to do just that.” Honestly, you had never seen Nirei with such a determined expression, set with a pair of resolute mahogany eyes, that left no room for argument. 

Nirei has never been as firm with anything else in your relationship as he was with holding you, and he followed through completely. It did help too, because now 6 months after the fact you are able to grab Nirei’s hand to hold it - relishing in his comforting warmth. Sometimes you can still get a little nervous about accepting cheek and forehead kisses from him, but you just get shy and blush when he does it. Which he loves, especially when he does it around your school because your resting face breaks into a bashful smile, causing some of your classmates to do a double take. Occasionally you’d even reach out and hug him before bidding him goodbye as you head to school in the morning. 

It was after you hugged him one day before class - he responded by lovingly pressing a kiss to the top of your head, to which you looked up from where your face was buried in his chest to beam up at him brightly while blushing up to your ears - that your classmates actually started approaching you. They were a little surprised, but relieved, that when people actually do approach you that you smile and talk easily with them. The rest of your high school years aren’t nearly as awkward since you started putting in real effort to shuck off that hardened exterior too. 

By the end you actually formed a few close friends with some girls in your class. A couple of which ended up being your roommates throughout university. Nirei is a source of constant support through your developing relationships - especially when you are first learning what a healthy balance of give and take is in a friendship. He’s always reminding you that you’re doing your best, but to not overextend yourself - especially in college where your school and job workloads are quite substantial. 

Years later, after you and Nirei have built a home that is always filled with love, laughter, and tons of hugs - the two of you fill it with children of your own. Over the years you’ve become incredibly close with Nirei’s (and now your) family, his parents often stopping by to help with the kids. Your parents stop by occasionally to help where they can, but are often confused by your household. On one particular visit, they watched with bewildered expressions as you happily played with your kids on the living room floor. Nirei was in the kitchen preparing dinner while they sat at the bar, and though he wanted to, he was good not to go off on them.

“She looks really happy, doesn’t she?” Posing the simple question instead as he continued stirring the boiling pot, sepia orbs exuded love and adoration toward you as you pretended to fall dead from your children’s “attack”. A long, awkward pause filled the room, but Nirei continued cooking calmly.

“Yes, she really does,” your mother eventually uttered out to him as she met his gaze over the bar with teary eyes and a wispy smile on her lips. Nirei smiled kindly back at her, and then they watched your daughter sprint up to him in the kitchen and beg to be picked up, which he did without hesitation as you came to take his spot and finish up the meal.

“What’s the score?” Nirei asked with a light smile and a peck to your cheek as he positioned the little girl with his eyes on his hip and let the little boy with your hair start pulling him towards the living room.

“Knights - 107?, Dragon - 0,” chuckling back as you started adding the final ingredients to the pot. Both you and Nirei laughed loudly before he took your place on the floor - assuming the role of Dragon for the kids.

It takes some time before your parents kind of get into their groove as grandparents, but eventually they start playing and hugging with your kids when they come to visit - early on enough that that is how your kids remember their grandparents. Because your parents' childhoods were really volatile, they just didn’t know how to give that love out - or if it was safe. Though after seeing how you and Nirei are with your kids, they seemed to finally feel safe enough to open up as well. 

Sometimes Nirei will ask you about it, and how their change makes you feel - a little worried that you resent your parents (which he believes would be valid). You’re honest in the fact that you really wish you had gotten this version of them when you were younger, but you’re just grateful you and your kids get them now. 

But not as grateful as you are for him. Nirei was the one who loved you despite your hardened exterior; and the one who held you until those walls you didn’t even realize you had built just weathered away and crumbled all around you. He was the one standing there when you felt vulnerable and bare from this new feeling, and he was the one who wrapped you up in something soft and held you through that too. Under the sun, in the fresh air, through the night if he had to. He held you until it didn’t feel unnatural any more. Until you felt comfortable enough to wrap your arms around him and hold him back. And once you did, you could never let him go.

Suo Hayato

(~3189 wc)

The day you met Suo Hayato could’ve started a little better, but you were still grateful for how it ended. It began with you waking up to your reflection in your phone's blackened screen and your charging cord being broken. Even better, the clock on your bedside table showed that it was already 15 minutes past when you were supposed to leave.

Rushing to get ready before you wildly sprinted from your house in the direction of school, and you would've made it in time if you had just maintained speed. Of course, life always has other plans. 

As you rounded a corner, you were met with 3 thugs, the leader immediately caught your wrist and yanked you backwards. Desperately, you pleaded with him to let you go, but your words fell on deaf ears as he laughed in your face. He dragged you towards a back alley roughly by the wrist, but just as you neared the mouth of the alley, an auburn haired teen wearing an eye patch stepped out of nowhere.

In a matter of seconds, far too fast for your eyes to follow the movements, he had knocked the 3 thugs unconscious and calmly turned to you with a serene smile.

“Are you okay?” He inquired kindly, and you just nodded silently, completely shocked by his fighting expertise.

“You seemed to be in a hurry, running late?” He asked in a way that seemed to be a reminder more than a question as he tilted his head in the direction you were heading. Suddenly you remembered that yes - you were extremely late!

“Ye-yes! Oh God,” turning around but then you quickly turned back to sputter out, “th-thank you so much!” And then you were sprinting away again at top speed. Suo just chuckled to himself about your frazzled demeanor and made a note to ask Nirei about you.

Later that day, after school let out, you saw Suo and his friends walking down the main street of Furin. First, you ducked into the Cactus Bakery to buy a box full of bread, and then you beelined over to them.

“U-um,” speaking up from behind the trio, and they turned in unison to see you holding the box out to them. “Thank you so much for this morning! I’m sorry I rushed off like that - here you go!” You said as his blonde and two-toned friends peered at Suo curiously, but their tawny haired companion paid them no mind. Flashing you a bright smile as he contentedly accepted the box. 

“That’s very thoughtful of you, thank you so much.” Suo replied graciously with a respectful bow of his head. After that, the two of you exchanged names and he introduced you to his friends. 

Nirei suggested that you give Suo your number in case you ever needed Furin assistance, and Suo seemed agreeable to the idea so you happily obliged. Sakura - the two toned one in the trio - was blushing furiously the whole time, but you couldn’t figure out why.

Funnily enough, after this event you see Suo around the Furin neighborhood all the time. It wasn’t long before you found out that both of you had grown up and lived in the same area, so you thought it was so weird you had never run into him before. In actuality, Nirei majorly assisted Suo in keeping track of the areas you frequent so he could keep a protective eye and check in on you often.

In addition, the two of you had started texting every day. You found Suo to be hilarious for someone who seemed a little aloof when you first met him. Eventually, he asked you to hang out with him outside of when he sees you on patrol around the neighborhood, and you gleefully took him up on it.

The first couple of times the two of you hung out, he took you to a park, or strolled around the canal. On the third hangout he took you to a weekend festival, and that's where Suo told you straight up that he liked you and would really like to take you on a date. Not being one to beat around the bush about what he wants.

You had sputtered nervously over his confession, but he patiently waited for you to recover, since he was already used to Sakura's reactions. Once you regained your composure, you threw him a shy smile before confessing that you’ve been hoping he’d ask you that.

The first date Suo took you on, he surprised you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers when he picked you up, and then took you out to a nice dinner. Afterwards, he walked you down to the canal for a stroll under the full moon. That’s where he first tried to hold your hand, but you had seemed so stiff about it that he let you go and continued the walk in stride with you without mentioning it.

Unbeknownst to you, Suo instantly picked up on how the moment he let your hand go, you resumed your smiley chatter beside him. A part of him had already suspected that you weren’t comfortable with touch after watching how you interacted with the world around you for the past few weeks - often keeping everything at a literal arm's length distance. There was just one last thing he could think to do to confirm his suspicions.

When the date came to a close, Suo paused at the top of the stairs leading back to the road and faced you fully. You halted in your steps as well, and turned to face him as well, staring up at him curiously. 

“I had a really good time tonight, Y/N.” He said with a tranquil smile, while making no moves to close the distance or touch you. 

“Thank you Suo, I did too! Thank you so much for taking me out,” you gushed to him with a bright smile tugging at your lips. Suo just smiled bigger as he nodded along to your words.

“Y/N,” he said gently, and you hummed  in response, eyebrows raised slightly in question. “I would like to be your boyfriend - if that would be okay with you?” Asking calmly with a genuine inflection in his tone as he tilted his head forward slightly while he awaited your answer.

A pregnant pause passed as you just stared up at him wide eyed, and then a bright red tint overtook your face up to the tips of your ears as you sputtered hysterically. Suo stifled a laugh but you could see his obvious amusement as you floundered to answer, but he patiently waited regardless.

“Y-ye-yes! I would really love that Suo!” Finally you were able to stutter the words out as you barely contained a squeal behind your hands. Suo chuckled mirthfully as he regarded you with the softest look - taking in your half moon eyes brimming with excited joy and the blinding grin showing through your fingers. Immediately his suspicions were confirmed that you just aren’t prone to touch, but you are prone to him. 

Your chestnut-haired boyfriend peacefully walked you home after that, and bid you goodnight at the door. Awkwardly, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other as you expected him to try to kiss you, but Suo just said that he would see you tomorrow with a respectful bow of his head. Nodding dumbly, you threw him a small smile and waved to him as you shut the door. On the other side, you groaned to yourself about how utterly embarrassed you felt.

Because Suo was aware of your relationship with touch, he was overly respectful of your boundaries. About two months into your relationship, Suo noticed you staring at his hand a lot as of late, and occasionally trying to reach out to touch him from the corner of his eye.

Every time you stop yourself though, because Suo always insisted you walk on the inside of the street - closer to the building - where you’re on his ‘blind’ side. Not wanting to startle him unnecessarily, you pulled back at the last second. Of course, your boyfriend who has an eye like a hawk caught your every attempt as a knowing smirk played on his lips, but he didn’t let on that he knew whatsoever.

When you finally got the courage to gently grab his hand, it’s while the two of you were sitting on the couch in your living room reading together. For once, you were situated on his side without the eyepatch. Ever so slowly, you released the book in your hand, and reached out to grasp his hand lightly. Suo paused in his reading and set down his book on the table next to the couch before he turned to you, and just smiled serenely at you for a moment - carefully regarding your expression.

”Do you feel ready for this?” Asking in a genuinely curious tone, as he tilted his head while that burnt sienna eye reflected immense solicitude for you, and your answer he awaited. Nervously you fidgeted your feet on the floor a bit before you nodded at him. 

”I really want to be…” you admitted shyly while averting your gaze towards your feet. A long, silent pause passed as you felt Suo’s eye burning into you. Suddenly, he smoothly slid one arm under your knees and the other behind your back before scooping you into his lap so your legs were draped over him. Suo’s arms were lightly wrapped around your arms and torso. Immediately you tensed up in his lap, but made no attempts to move. 

”Can I help?” He asked innocently, his voice genuine despite the mischievous glint in his eye, and you peered at him in surprise before nodding slowly. Suo just smiled his unflappable smile before he placed the palm of his hand flat to your lower back while the other cupped your cheek while he traced your cheek with his thumb.

 “How’s this?” He leaned in close to your other cheek, and murmured into your ear, and you shivered from his calming voice - low and somewhat gravelly as it vibrated through the air. Warm breath fluttered your hair, and Suo swiftly tucked it behind your ear before he replaced his hand on your lower back. Then he began tracing his calloused thumb over your cheek and down over your jaw. 

”It feels go-good,” whispering faintly, as you blushed so brightly you were worried Suo’s hand might get burned. He chuckled at you endearingly before he slowly moved to rub your hip with one hand, and let the other caress down your neck and arm, over your thigh and back up along your side - stopping just under the curve of your breast.

”And that?” he asked in a huskier tone with a quirk of his brow. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Suo’s lips curl slightly from teasing, and you could hear it in his voice as well. 

”Re-really good…” you whispered bashfully, barely able to meet his eye. He just grinned down at you as your ruddy cheeks deepened a shade. His fingers felt soft against your skin as he traced feather light touches over your clothes and bare limbs. A shiver ran up your spine when his hand stopped securely on your ribs. Warmth radiated from his palm to your goosebumped skin underneath the fabric.

”Where do you want me to touch you next?” He asked candidly, and you looked at him in shock for a moment before you thought of an answer. His eyebrows raised slightly as an amused look washed over his face while he watched you silently deliberate his question. 

”I-I think I want, um… pressure?” Posing the question to him - like you had no idea what that meant, because you didn’t, or what that entailed. Suo felt his heart flutter at your apprehensive expression and the way your eyes searched his for guidance. He flashed you a warm, reassuring smile as he nodded that he knew what to do, while you readjusted you in his lap so he could hug you tightly against his chest.

For someone who has always been so gentle with you, and who you have only ever seen redirecting another’s attack in a fight - it’s not that you didn’t think Suo was strong, it’s just that you didn’t realize how strong. It felt like you had been holding this breath for God knows how long that lodged itself so deep within your being that it had left you stiff, but Suo was able to push it right out of you in the form of a sob. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he tightened his arms around your torso even more until you were quietly weeping with your face buried in the crook of his shoulder.

”I’m sorry… this is so embarrassing…” you whispered into his collar. Suo just rubbed your back soothingly before pressing a kiss to your temple. The entire sensation of being touched and held was so different to you.

Growing up, you came from a truly loving family, who always gave gifts and shared kind words. Speaking in depth about your emotions was never really an issue, but no one in your family was ever that touchy feely, so you weren’t either just by nurture. You always felt loved and cared for by your family, and the friends you’ve gained over the years were very much like you - open about themselves but not prone to hugging or anything like that. Honestly, it was hard to place why this made you so weepy, but for the first time in your life you felt like you’ve been… missing out? 

”Not in the least. I want this with you too, Y/N.” He spoke simply, which made you pause in sobbing and lean back to look at him, bewildered. Which only made him chuckle up at you as he reached up and wiped away your tears.

“I want to experience all of you, and this is part of that. So, please, don’t apologize to me for this, okay?” He said delicately as he gripped the back of your head and brought you close enough for him to kiss your cheek.

Fresh sobs racked your body - good sobs this time - as Suo pulled you back into the crook of his neck and resumed hugging you with pressure. You leaned fully into him, and let yourself cry out all the tears you didn’t know you were holding in until you finally quieted and sat back to look him in the eye again - expression completely vulnerable. 

“Um,” you murmured timidly and Suo stared at you with a patient smile. “Can you ke-keep holding me for a little bit longer?” Asking quietly as you averted your gaze to anywhere but his unblinking eye. Your boyfriend tittered as he tenderly grasped your chin with his fingers and made you look at him again - a calm expression on his face.

“Of course, but you have to tell me how.” He directed you gently, and you stared at him dumbfounded for a long moment. A light laugh passed his lips before he elaborated.

“Do you want to stay like this, or do you want me to hold you in a different way?” Offering you an option, but he had to stifle his tittering as your brow furrowed deeply in thought. After a long moment of you weighing the options, Suo finally laughed out right before taking pity on you.

“What if I sit with my back against the arm of the couch, and you can sit with your back to my chest.” Offering cautiously, and when you met his gaze with wide eyes and quickly forming blush Suo chuckled at you some more.

“I’ll read to you if you’d like,” he said as he gestured to the book on the bedside table. Your eyes lit up at the suggestion and you quickly nodded at him with a shy smile tugging at your lips.

Once the two of you were situated - Suo’s back against the arm of the couch and you sat between his legs with your back against his chest and your knees bent in front of you - he wrapped his arms around you to hold the book on top of your knees.

Opening it to the first page, his chin rested on the top of your head so he could see properly, he began reading soothingly to you. Folding yourself more into his arms enveloped you in Suo’s warmth and scent as his lilting voice filled the room. As he spoke his chest rumbled with the timbre of his words sending rhythmic vibrations through your back to your chest.

You felt so warm and safe nestled in your boyfriend’s arms that it wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep. Despite your soft snoring, which brought an amused smile to Suo’s lips, he kept reading to you in your sleep in hopes that you would have sweet dreams. 

After this, Suo is able to hold your hand in public and give you forehead and cheek kisses without any awkwardness from you. In fact, now you lean into his affections with a bashful smile, and he always pulls away with a serene expression and a triumphant glint in his eye. If Sakura is ever in the vicinity when this happens he turns redder than a tomato, and Suo will usually tease him mercilessly. 

In private, the two of you still have “sessions” often where Suo will sit you on his lap and caress you with dainty touches while asking, “How’s this?” His voice always possesses a tantalizing lilt, but throughout your relationship his eye has begun to develop a hungrier look. 

Except now, those dainty touches leave you exasperated before long, because you want him to touch you quicker. But he loves taunting you too much, at least until you desperately cup his face in your hands and plead, “It’s all good Suo - just touch me, please!”

He'll just smile knowingly at you, causing you to whine pathetically and pout stubbornly. Your tease of a boyfriend already knows what you want, he can read you like a book after all. As you squirm a little in his lap to press down onto his growing bulge in hopes that he’ll finally relinquish his self control.

Occasionally during some sessions, his hands will grow rougher - grip tighter - and breath more uneven as it fans against your skin. Though he’s hid it supremely well, sometimes you pick up on the effect you have on him between the overstimulation of his fingers and lips.

”Of course, my love,” murmuring with a reassuring peck to your cheek, and then, “where do you want me to touch you?” He’ll ask deviously in a voice so dark and smooth it feels like a blackened river rushing around you - already knowing you’re frustrated beyond belief. You'll look him right in his mischievous eye, so you’re staring into the depths of his soul, an irked pout pulling at your lips with an adorable notch in your brow. Suo can’t help but titter at you in amusement.

”Everywhere.” Speaking bluntly, voiced lace with maddening frustration, as his grin grows wide, his eye falls half lidded, and he finally touches you without any inhibitions. Teasing caresses turn into hard squeezes as he pulls you impossibly close to smother you with ravenous, open mouthed kisses. Even years after the ‘first’ session, well into your relationship, Suo will still offer you ‘sessions’ that always leave you flushed and breathlessly crying out his name.

Sakura Haruka

(~4120 wc)

The day you met Sakura Haruka was when you moved into the apartment next door. The situation you came from was pretty rough, so you were grateful to land anywhere else. The majority of interactions you were used to were borderline violent, so when you and Sakura exited your apartments at the same time and he threw you a scowl - you happily grinned at him and waved.

Your neighbor turned bright red and sputtered at your jovial greeting, something that was completely foreign to him, especially after he had been not welcoming at all. For you though, a scowl was leagues better than how you had been treated before, so you didn’t think about it too much.

From that day forward, Sakura didn’t scowl at you but was still apprehensive of your presence. Despite the fact that you always greeted him, asked him how his day was, and asked him questions about himself. He was not forthcoming with his responses at first, but your persistent smile and bright eyes had him opening up to you before he even realized it.

The two of you weren’t super close, but were amicable enough as neighbors. Sakura honestly started to feel guilty after a while, because you would consistently bring him leftovers from your meals and he felt like all he was doing was mooching.

Regardless, you insisted that he take the leftovers every time, because you simply wouldn’t be able to eat them all. It wasn’t until your past came knocking at your door that the two of you really became friends. 

It’s not something you liked to talk about, but with how chaotic your early home life was you ended up moving out when you were about 14. Not having anywhere to go, you ended up working under the table at this Konbini for a rather creepy older man - he didn’t ever try anything though since his son was so very interested in you. Being young, naive and desperate, you really thought the son loved you and cared for your well being.

After a year and a half of being trapped under his thumb, you finally found a job at a nicer Konbini that a kind, older woman ran and immediately applied for your apartment. It was a two day turnaround from finding the job to packing up your stuff in secret and making a silent get away. 

You had never told anyone about this before, so when you heard pounding on the door while lidding your pot to simmer, you honestly don’t know what to do or who to turn to. At first, you thought of hiding, but the son seemed to know you were already in there as the pounding became more insistent, accompanied with shouts of, “Y/N! I know you’re in there! Open up! Now!”

Crossing your apartment, against your better judgment, as you shakily unlocked the door and swung it wide open. Tensing as the doorknob clicked against the wall, fully convinced that you were about to be attacked and thrown around your apartment like a ragdoll. 

Unbeknownst to you though, your two toned neighbor had been standing on the other side of his door from the moment the pounding started - locked in an internal debate of whether it was his place to get involved or not. The debate was decided the moment he heard the lock clicking and your door slowly swinging open as he scrambled to open his door and threw himself into the hallway. Just as the son was reaching through the doorway to grab you by the throat, a black and white blur collided with him from the left, knocking him to the other end of the hall. 

Stunned, you stood there in the empty doorway blinking rapidly at the closed door across from your apartment. Jolting yourself into action as you cautiously grabbed the door jam and leaned your head out into the hall in the direction the blur went.

The scene laid out before you was Sakura standing over the son with his fist gripping the son's collar fiercely. There was a predatory shine in his eyes as he growled, “I don’t know who you are, or what you’re trying to do to Y/N, but if I ever see you anywhere near her again I’ll make sure you’re not able to see.”

The second Sakura released the son’s collar, he hit the floor and then scrambled to his feet before half running-half throwing himself down the stairs towards the exit. When Sakura turned to face you, he just asked, “Are you good” with a notch in his brow - as if he wanted to ask more, but wouldn’t let himself. Humming quietly as you nodded at him, and with that he started walking back towards his apartment door.

“Wa-wait,” you blurted out quickly, causing your neighbor to stop and look back at you in surprise. “D-do you wanna eat dinner together?” You asked timidly, and Sakura immediately turned a deep red as he started to sputter. 

“It should be done soon, and then I can just pack it up and send it with you after we’re done eating…” you offered hopefully, but when Sakura hesitated and looked between his door and then back to yours, you spoke again. 

“Please?” You whispered pleadingly, with your hands clasped in front of you. His face became so red that you actually considered calling for medical assistance, but then he scowled while averting his gaze and nodded before moving towards your apartment.

At first the dinner was incredibly awkward, neither of you really spoke, and Sakura was obviously avoiding asking you about what had just happened. Eventually, you took it upon yourself to let him know who that was and your relationship to him. Sakura listened intently, but by the look on his face he wanted to know more, so you told him he can ask anything he wanted - you would let him know if you didn’t want to answer.

So, he did. He asked everything about you, and I mean everything. By the end of the night, he knew your whole life story and he was kind enough to share a little bit of his.

After that, you two ate dinner together in your apartment every night and became kind of friends, though neither of you admitted it outright. Until Sakura suggested you visit the Furin neighborhood.

When you did, you saw him out on patrol with his classmates and went over to say hello. A curious blonde boy asked who you were and how you knew Sakura, and you thought about it for a moment before glancing at Sakura - the tips of his ears burning furiously - for some assistance.

“Friends.” He basically snapped out. “We’re friends,” he repeated himself before he continued walking down the street. The blonde boy, who you eventually learned to be Nirei Akihiko, stared between you and Sakura with mounting intrigue. The auburn boy with the eye patch, who you learned to be Suo Hayato, chuckled knowingly to himself before asking if you would like them to show you around the neighborhood.

Sakura relaxed throughout the tour to a point where he was able to make his own comments and tell you the things he liked about Furin. Visiting the neighborhood, and especially Pothos, became a regular thing for you after that since you enjoyed the area and people so much. 

Enough so, that when the Konbini you worked at was broken into and you ended up seeing a building for lease on the main street in Furin, you asked the owner if she would consider moving the business. She said it would be a lot of work and she’s just too old for that, and honestly with how business was dwindling she was thinking of closing the Konbini altogether.

With the fear of job insecurity, you were rather mute at dinner that night which worried your bi-colored friend. After some prying, you finally let him know what was going on. He was quiet about it, but eventually told you that he thought it would probably work out, so don’t worry yourself too much about it. You threw him a kind smile and thanked him before changing the subject - still feeling unsure of how it would work out. 

Unbeknownst to you, Sakura was so sure because he went to class the next day and explained the situation to them, even asking if they would be willing to help with the move if the older woman changed her mind. They of course agreed enthusiastically. After school, Sakura and his seconds went to visit the Konbini owner - Sakura instructed Suo to speak with her since that’s more his skill set - and offered her their help if she changes her mind.

A week later the new location opened on the main street in Furin. The owner was thrilled to move to a nicer neighborhood as well, now living in the apartment above the new Konbini, with the added protection of Bofurin. You were overjoyed to keep your job and to be able to go to the Furin neighborhood daily. 

It wasn’t long before you were good friends with Kotoha and Tsubaki, as well. Sakura didn’t show how happy he was outwardly, but truly he was ecstatic because now the two of you walk to Furin and back home together, and he no longer spends all day with the worry of your ex showing up without him there to protect you.

The relationship between you and Sakura didn’t progress beyond ‘friends’ for quite some time, much to the annoyance of many around Furin. It seemed to be obvious to everyone, but the two of you, that the looks, words and smiles shared between you aren't friend-like. Though, it all became clear to the both of you when some guy who had been frequenting the Konbini was waiting for you outside after closing up one night. Sakura was usually there waiting too, but he was held up today.

“Hey, Y/N!” The guy called out with a wave as he walked towards you. Jumping slightly at the sound of your name as you focused on him under the streetlight, but then you recognized him as a regular from the Konbini. Still, you were confused how he knew your name since you weren’t required to wear a name tag, and you didn't go out of your way to tell customers. Your eyes darted around as you looked for Sakura.

“How are you?” He asked while he closed the distance to stand directly in front of you. 

“Go-good… How are you?” Asking timidly as your eyes continued to search for the familiar two toned mane of your protective neighbor. Raw survival instinct caused your heart to pound in your ears and your feet to freeze in place.

“I’m good! I was wondering if I could take you to dinner?” He inquired with a faux saccharine smile that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up as he leaned in closer. The scent of cigarettes and cheap cologne wafted under your nose and turned your stomach.

“N-no thank you - I actually was heading home to cook for me and my neighbor…” you murmured faintly, trailing off as his smile dropped completely. Clenching the hem of your jacket in your fists to hide your shaky hands as you worriedly peered around for Sakura again.

“He can’t cook for himself?” Asking gruffly as he cocked his head with a judgmental arch of his brow, then all at once the smile returned to his face. “Why not let a real man take you out? You don’t have to mommy me y’know?” He offered in what may have been an attempt at a seductive tone, but it just made your skin crawl and your bottom lip quiver pathetically. 

“I-I like cooking for us…” murmuring quickly as you feebly projected a defensive air. Desperately, you craned your neck in one direction from the other as you looked for your safe person.

“Well, I could show you some other things you might like,” he offer-threatened in a sing-songy voice, accentuated by a sick grin. A predatory glint gleamed in his eye as he took a menacing step towards you.

“Sa-Sakura!” Crying out as you finally took a step back in desperate hopes that the guy would back off, but his grin only widened more as he reached out to grab you.

“Oi! Don’t touch her!” A familiar voice echoed from down the street, accompanied by the sound of pounding feet. You whipped your head to the left to see Sakura sprinting towards you. 

“I wasn’t doing anything - no idea she had a boyfriend,” immediately the man muttered and threw both his hands up in the air, but Sakura wasn't listening as he threw his fist into the guy's nose - knocking him to the ground. The guy’s face was covered in blood and his nose was stuck at an odd angle, but he barely noticed as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted away.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you got out, are you okay?” Sakura whirled around, voice urgent, as he looked you over head to toe for any injuries. One slate and one amber eye brimmed with fear, and his face was set with worry - he’s never worn this expression in front of you before.

“I’m okay,” you assured him with a small nod and he heaved a relieved sigh. “Thank you for saving me, again,” murmuring as you threw a small smile at him to which he immediately blushed bright red. The walk home was almost silent - both of you glanced at one another until your eyes met and then swiftly looked at the sky or ground. Awkwardness had settled over your apartment as you prepared the meal, until Sakura piped up from where he sat on your living room floor.

“Do we seem like a couple?” He asked suddenly, and for once you’re the one red in the face and sputtering as you clutched the counter to ground yourself. Blinking rapidly as the words he just blurted out processed in his own ears, Sakura ended up having a delayed reaction to a much more severe degree than yours. Once you both regained some composure, the two of you settled on the living room floor, not looking at each other, while you tried to discuss your “relationship status”.

“When I tell people that I eat dinner with you every night they think you’re my girlfriend,” he muttered, finally breaking the awkward silence. Dropping your shoulders as you released a pent up sigh, and then you glanced over at his beet red side profile.

“Me too,” you sighed soberly. “They always think you’re my boyfriend, or that I want you to be,” you admitted awkwardly, and Sakura immediately nodded in understanding. Though he was still staring at the wall.

“D-do you?” Sakura asked cautiously, still not turning around, and fidgeting nervously with his pant leg. A long, pregnant pause passed before you answered.

“We-well, you know my history with dating…” you started softly. “So, I don’t really know… I’ve never had a good experience so I don't know what that would be like or if I want it.” Answering honestly as you dared to glance at Sakura, who was surprisingly looking right at you and not turning away.

“I feel the same way,” he admitted in a defeated voice. “I have no experience, so how would I know if that’s something I want?” Asking rhetorically as a notch formed in his brow. After a moment of thought you breathed in deeply, earning his undivided attention.

“Well, if everyone thinks we’re a couple, or want to be, because of this,” you gestured to the dinner on the table, “or because of how we are with each other, then I guess… I do want to date you…” you admitted, voice inflecting upwards at the end as you shrink away from his intense stare.

Before he could snap, you swiftly added, “I just mean that I like this, and hanging out with you, so if that’s what dating is then I’m okay with that.” You explained quickly as Sakura caught his breath. After a while he nodded in agreement.

“I-I like it too,” he said in a sotto voice as he turned to face you fully, shoulders relaxing slightly. “So, I guess, if this is dating… then I’d be okay with it too.” Sakura repeated your words as a confirmation with a firm nod of his head. 

That was how you and Sakura “asked each other out”, though not much changed as far as how you interacted with one another. The biggest difference for Sakura is that the amount of rage he felt towards that guy outside the Konbini - not just for being aggressive with you, but for simply asking you out - is now justified, he feels at least.

About 3 months after officially becoming Sakura’s girlfriend, the two of you were hanging out at his apartment just chilling - since his class revamped his apartment he’s been wanting to hang out there more, and you’ve been more than happy to oblige. The two of you were sitting at his coffee table enjoying a cup together before dinner was ready. Silently, you reached out and gently grabbed his hand resting on top of his knee. 

At first, Sakura jumped and almost yanked his hand back, but then he noticed that your fingers were trembling around his hand. Pausing, he looked at you closer to see that you were sporting a more vibrant crimson tint to your cheeks than he was. Feeling a little less alone in his awkwardness, he somewhat relaxed and opened his hand slightly so he could hold your hand back. Sitting up in surprise as you let him hold your hand as well, but you wouldn’t look at him directly yet.

”Sa-Sakura?” You piped up timidly, and he jumped again but kept hold of your hand as he leaned closer to hear you. “Um, I hope it’s okay, but I’d like to try and hold your hand sometimes… If that doesn’t bother you?” Whispering softly without looking at him directly, and his blush deepened even more as he suppressed the knee-jerk reaction to snap at you. Though he couldn’t control the way he’s started hyperventilating at the idea of doing this more.

”Why would that bother me?” He demanded through gritted teeth, but his flushed face told you that he was just as nervous as you. Taking a deep breath, you began to explain.

”Be-because… I think physical affection, well, affection in general, makes you uncomfortable, and I can relate to that on the physical affection piece.” Speaking demurely, your fingers were still trembling, so Sakura willed his breathing to even out so he could listen to you properly.

“I-It makes me uncomfortable sometimes too, but I-I don’t want it to?” You said as if it were a question with an upwards inflection at the end. “I wa-want to touch you, and maybe one day kiss you… if that’s okay?” Asking timidly as you finally met his gaze with your terrified one. Sakura was so red he was basically a traffic light, but he was also incredibly still as if he was trying his best not to spook you. For a long, long moment the two of you just stared at each other before Sakura finally parted his lips to speak.

”You want to kiss me?” He whispered in utter shock, almost incredulous, but you could tell just from the look in his eyes that he was just feeling vulnerable. Slowly you nodded, not breaking eye contact with his two toned gaze.

”Yes… but I’m just afraid, I guess. I was never really shown affection like that growing up, or in my past relationship. Honestly, I think what I was shown could be categorized as physical animosity…” you mused sadly. “So, I don’t know how to and I’m afraid I’ll do it wrong, or mess this up…” you whispered, voice cracking near the end as you trailed off and averted your gaze to the floor.

Another pregnant pause passed before Sakura leaned forward and bumped your forehead with his, causing you to look up at him in surprise, and then he leaned in to kiss you.

On instinct, your hand that isn’t holding his reared back to slap him, but with his cat-like reflexes he caught you with ease. The two of you were caught in a staring contest, both shocked, until you sheepishly breathed out, “Sorry reflex…”

Sakura just gave you a small smile with a sad, knowing glint in his eye. 

”I know,” he whispered gently as he leaned in, much slower this time, before capturing your lips with his. It wasn’t a long kiss, and felt a little awkward, but you enjoyed how his lips felt against yours and how, being so close to him, enveloped you in his scent. It wasn’t a movie screen first kiss, but it felt comforting and safe.

When you parted from the kiss, both of you were sporting a deep ruddiness over your cheeks and could barely look each other in the eye for several minutes. After the silence became too much, you finally asked Sakura if he liked it. He looked you dead in the eye, red in the face with a deep furrow in his brow, as he curtly said, “Yes.”

The severity of his expression made you burst into giggles - finally dissipating your tension, but when you met your boyfriend's gaze again, he was staring at you with nervous desperation. Cocking your head in question until he lowered his head slightly to look up at you through thick lashes, face burning still, and quietly muttered, “What about you?”

“I liked it a lot,” you confessed with a bright smile and an excited gleam in your eyes, despite the fine dusting of pink still clinging to your cheeks. Sakura was stunned into silence at your open confession, but his nerves finally calmed a bit. After the two of you recovered from this development in your relationship, you both looked down to see you’ve been holding hands this whole time. Sakura turned beet red again, but didn't let go until it was time to say good night.

Honestly, after this, your relationship will take a long time to progress beyond hand holding and a private peck here, and there - you two just go at a slower pace, but that’s okay!

Sakura does immediately start holding your hand in public after that night, though he is very defensive about it at first - especially when his friends tease him. Regardless of his embarrassment or the ribbing, Sakura will faithfully keep holding your hand. Even when the teasing becomes a bit too much and he turns on his heel to walk away - you better believe he’s dragging you right along with him.

As for the private pecks, the two of you don’t kiss again for a couple of weeks. It only started becoming a regular thing when Sakura had to rush out the door one morning to help settle a Furin issue, and you assured him he could go on ahead and that you would see him later.

As he was saying goodbye he leaned in and pecked your lips quickly before rushing off. It took him half the day to realize what he did, and he was a reddened mess for the rest of it - he even apologized for it when you saw him later on. But you just shrugged and told him you liked it - which made him hide his face he was blushing so violently - but he took that as the okay to start giving you goodbye kisses at home.

At around the 6 month mark in your relationship is when the two of you cuddle for the first time. Not intentionally, you invited Sakura over to watch a movie and fell asleep on his shoulder near the beginning. Your neck was in an awkward position, so he felt like he needed to reposition you. Which is how you ended up tucked into his side, his arm around your shoulders and your head laid on his chest. He almost glowed in the dark from the scarlet tint sweeping over his face. He had actually intended to just lay you down on the couch to sleep but maneuvering a sleeping person is much more difficult than he realized. When you woke up, Sakura had lulled off to sleep with his arms loosely around you.

Remorsefully, you woke him up, but then you asked if he wanted to spend the night. He hesitated at first, but when you added that you just wanted to sleep, maybe cuddle, he cautiously agreed. Sakura spooned you through the night, which ended up becoming a semi-regular thing in your relationship.

Though Sakura might actually blush to death if anyone ever found out.

[erinhappyloveyblog]

being a polyfragmented plural is pretty stressful. we have a lot of fragments that front once (or never) and then disappear forever, so we constantly stress over whether we should even add them to SP/PK or delete their profiles, or whether theyll come back, or whether we should pursue finding them again because we need them (all alters are equal in importance, but by this i mean whether or not the fragment had a needed role such as a really needed symptom holder), or whether it would just be more trouble than its worth (or if its even possible to find them again). having a shared memory and having new fragments know that theyre probably going to disappear can really stress them out and its heartbreaking to watch. and we split so frequently but we struggle to find new sysmates, until itll be 2 months later after a longterm 'big split' and suddenly theres 20 people coming out of the woodworks which feels really awkward to explain to our friends. when you know theres someone new but all you know is their vibes and theyre so similar to others anyways you dont even know if itd be worth it to differentiate yourselves. and that just , really weird feeling where you know your own plurality is vaster than you know and will probably ever know.

then you start feeling invalid about calling yourself polyfragmented because you dont have a headspace . what the hell!!!!!

[pernesophe]

I agree with this so much that I’m adding my own experience in the reblogs.

Quite literally went through the worst breakdown of my life wondering why everything is so much harder for me than my peers which just felt super lonely.

After finding out I’m autistic my life hasn’t stopped getting better since I know how to make it better now. Also I don’t feel utterly alone anymore in how I struggle.

It was literally the best improvement of my life to go from thinking “wow I can’t keep up with my peers and I don’t know why - I must be broken!”

To “oh wow I’m struggling with this because I’m autistic, and here’s some forums, blogs, etc where another autistic person talks about this exactly and how to deal with it.”

Me not finding any of this out until I was ~23 just meant that I never got accommodations and had to relearn how to do everything in accordance with my autism.

Like I never felt normal, all I really got was a bunch of work to do on the back end while my support system thinks I’m good cause I’m an adult now.

IMHO parents with this idea that they’re making their kid “feel normal” by hiding this stuff from them are actually more invested in having a “normal” lifestyle themselves than effectively accommodating their child’s needs.

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

[syscultureis]

sys culture is why is there a version of sp in our headspace and when tf was this guy fronting

.

[nym-wibbly]

Did you bother with SPN seasons 1-3 or start in just for Castiel?

Wut?! I started at the start!

I didn't know S4 was where Cas came in - I'd made huge efforts over the years to avoid sp*ilers.

I saved Supernatural until this year because I wanted to be in the right headspace to watch it right through, start to finish, without a break. I suspected Castiel would float my boat based on what little I knew of the show's premise (and of myself when faced with Fictional Men Who Happen to Have Wings), and because I knew how good Misha Collins is at selling a role, but it turned out to be the overall story arc that prostrated me at the altar of Supernatural - the meta arc with Chuck dicking the Winchesters around, the destiny vs free will thing. I was breathless with anticipation between Chuck's appearance in The Monster at the End of This Book - the first explicit suggestion that the boys are part of some in-universe controlled narrative working against their attempts to exercise free will - and the eventual reveal that Chuck was, indeed, writer!God (and a monster).

I won't say the early seasons are my favourites - I don't share Kripke's love of visceral horror and splatty onscreen violence for one thing, and the cool film night scenes are practically black on my crappy TV for another, so I kept having to turn on audio-describe to know what was happening - but they're completely unmissable.

[galaxywhump]

i would love to see daniel making what he feels like is a mistake with wren (similar to how he fucked up with wren getting attacked by the local wildlife in the beginning of the story). like he pushes wren too far without realizing it, or hurts him in a way he didn't intend to (like rope failure during suspension bondage). love to see wren suffering and i also love to see daniel feeling guilty so like. best of both worlds lol

[SV-240 masterlist]

contents: slavery whump, forced relationship, creepy/intimate whumper, defiant whumpee, suspension, dislocation.

~~~

“Uh, could you… check the ropes again? Something’s weird about the balance.”

“I know what I’m doing, sweetheart.”

“But-”

“Just trust me. Besides, just a few more pictures and we’ll be done, okay?”

Daniel snaps a picture. One of the knots in the elaborate ropework keeping Wren suspended snaps too.

It happens in a blink of an eye. Wren becomes certain that something is wrong with Daniel’s handiwork, that it wasn’t just his imagination, and in the next moment his body jolts downwards. If that was the end of it, it wouldn’t be bad - he’d just be a bit startled, he’d get to savor Daniel being proven wrong, but, unfortunately, he mostly did know what he was doing.

Wren’s right arm was still secured with rope, and when he shifted, it stayed in exactly the same position.

He sees stars. His scream of agony comes out as a strained gasp. His shoulder is on fire.

Daniel curses, sets his camera aside and rushes to start painstakingly undoing the knots while Wren hyperventilates, eyes wide, forehead lined with cold sweat.

"I told you!" he chokes out, close to sobbing. "I fucking told you and you didn't- Why the fuck didn't you believe me?!"

Daniel doesn't answer, focused on untying the ropes; Wren's shaky breathing is the only sound. When he's finally freed, the pain only gets worse when his shoulder shifts, and he can't stop tears from falling from his eyes. It hurts so much, a completely new pain. Daniel cradles him in his arms, petting his hair, and the look of remorse on his face is nowhere near as satisfying as it would be if Wren could think more clearly.

"I'm sorry," Daniel says, carefully laying his hand on Wren's injured shoulder, making him tense up and gasp. "Next time I'll make sure the ropes are secure."

"Next time?!" Wren cries. “My shoulder is-”

"I know, I know. And… I need to set it, so be still. Just trust me."

"Again?! You just fucking showed me why-"

Once again, he doesn't get to finish his sentence - with practiced confidence Daniel grabs his arm, lifts it up, and pulls, and Wren howls in agony feeling it pop back into place.

“Okay, okay, it’s okay now,” Daniel whispers, holding Wren close as he struggles to breathe. “You can rest.” He sighs, then the corners of his mouth rise in a playful smirk. “First that animal, now this. I guess I’ll just ask Berkeley to bring me some new rope next time so there’s no more accidents, hm? I really am sorry, though. I’ve learned my lesson.”

“You didn’t learn shit,” Wren rasps, somehow mustering enough strength and clarity to glare at Daniel, who, much to his fury, laughs.

“See how quickly you bounce back? You’re stronger than you realize, sweetheart.”

Wren presses his lips tightly together and shakes his head. He’s not strong enough to fight back in a way that matters, not strong enough to escape. At the moment his strength seems completely meaningless to him, and he’s so tired of staying strong this way when Daniel only seems to find delight in it.

~~~

taglist: @faewhump @inky-whump @whole-and-apart-and-between @whatwasmyprevioususername @procrastinatingsab

@funky-little-glitter-bomb @goneuntil @redstainedsocks @luminouswhump @lonesome--hunter

@as-a-matter-of-whump @renkocchi @whump-only @muddy-swamp-bitch @girlwithacoolcat

@watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @sophierose002 @whump-headspace @to-whump-or-not-to-whump-blog @kixngiggles

@ohwhumpydays @whumpsical @wibbly-wobbly-whump @stab-the-son-of-a @his-unspoken-words

@pumpkin-spice-whump @onlyhappywhenitpains @suspicious-whumping-egg @morning-star-whump @burtlederp

@there-will-always-be-blood @springwhump

[pernesophe]

I don’t do these often because I don’t get a lot of asks, but I will if anyone would like to ask me something! 🫶🏻

✨soft asks✨

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

[infwctednyacifier]

🐾🍼 Welcome !! (๑> ᗜ <๑)

✦ Konnichiwa! I am Kiwi!

✧ Kiwi uses he/it/fae/zir/thon/🍓/🐶/🦴/📼 & more!! Kiwi also sometimes talks in the third person!!! o(>ω< )o

✦ Kiwi identifies as a transmasc genderflux Aliuspueric polyamorous achillean/androsexual gay man! Kiwi is also searching for partners!!! (,,>ヮ<,,)

✧ Kiwi is 4teen!! Unless you are one of Kiwi’s partners, please do not talk about anything icky around Kiwi!!!! (｡>﹏<)

✦ Kiwi is also very mentally icky :(

✧ Kiwi is a kemonomimi!!!! Kiwi is a dog therian and has feathered wings but can't fly but loves to hide in them!!!!!! Kiwi loves 2 woof at partners,,,,, :3

✦ Kiwi loves kawaii ANYTHING!!!!! Kiwi especially loves Sanrio & owns a lot of Sanrio products!! Kiwi also ADORES horror, especially infection movies & aliens as well as analog horror!!!! If Kiwi gets partners, Kiwi will post a lot about them too,,,,, (๑>◡<๑)

✧ Kiwi is part of a small, Median, plurallet, willogenic, possibly parogenic, Imagimancer system!!!! Kiwi does BAH packs and will make headmates, headspaces, and sentispaces!!!!!! Our SP is caroquaevivit!!!!! \⁠(⁠๑⁠╹⁠◡⁠╹⁠๑⁠)⁠ﾉ

✦ Inbox; open.

✧ Host runs 3 other blogs called @theviridiancourthotel which is an RP account for OC's, @justanotherboringwriter which is a writing blog, & @thearchivaldata which is a term archive blog!!!!!

✦ Random important stuff can be found here (regarding questions about us, requests, & interactions);

✧ Our pronouns.page and pronouns.cc can be found here!!!!

✦ one of our headmates, Acid (formerly Delta), made an intro w/ the help of Zach which can be found here!!!!!!

✧ dni proshitters, 'transid', radqueer, paraphiles, homophobic/transphobic, racist, anti non traumagenic, 'objectum', WLW (upsetting false memory, would rather not interact for comfort), ‘anti man’ & general ickyness >.<

Tags!! 🏷️

#‧₊🥝˚⊹ me!!

#‧₊💞˚⊹ partners!!!! (,,>ヮ<,,)

#‧₊📔˚⊹ our system!!!!

#‧₊🏗️˚⊹ Tulpa‚ willo‚ idk.

#‧₊🗃️˚⊹ system tips!!!!

#‧₊👤˚⊹ known anon!!!

#‧₊👥˚⊹ bah!!!

#‧₊🏳️‍🌈˚⊹ coined terms!!

#‧₊💬˚⊹ headcannons!!!!

#‧₊🍮˚⊹ sanrio!!

#‧₊🦴˚⊹ horror!!!!

#‧₊👁️˚⊹ weirdcore!!

#‧₊🍰˚⊹ cutecore!!!

#‧₊❓˚⊹ ask game!!!

Anons!! 👤

🧨💥 , 👑💎, 🌙, ✨🎀, 🕊️🔮, 🌀🎲

[cloverstarsys]

hey. i need some tips.

it's about in-system relationships.

it's not something we have a lot of experience in. we're collectively aroace and don't nornally experience attraction.

inside the system appears to be an exception. we're not all aroace (although, according to my sp profile, i was aroace, so it's not always accurate) and some of us are maybe dating. we don’t actually know the feeling. we can't identify it, more like. so it's really hard for us to label it and actually differentiate romantic vs platonic vs the other types of attraction i don't remember right now.

but... i think i might have a crush on a headmate. she's really nice, and fun to be around, but she's always putting herself down when she doesn't deserve it. she really likes being cozy, for lack of a better term. she loves to cuddle up in bed with blankets and stuffed animals. she gets so enthusiastic about things she cares about. i've been watching her learn to sing. she keeps saying she's not that good yet, but i disagree. sure, she's not perfect, but she's doing a lot better than she tells herself. and i think her voice is pretty. she's usually not in the best mood--i guess that comes with the territory, given her roles. i want to comfort her and make her feel better. i don't like seeing her sad.

but i can't tell if this is actually romantic or if this is just platonic. we also likely have alexithymia, which doesnt help at all. and if it is romantic, i don't know what to do about it. for one, the way our system works makes it really hard to hide things from others. we're monoconscious and, when cofronting, it's less like two people working together to front, and more like two people merging together to front, save for their thoughts. we also don't have a headspace, due to... what's the word? the thing where you cant visualize anything. aphantasia. our memories are ass, but somehow we still can't do things in front to surprise another headmate, because our shitty memory is shared between everyone.

and if i did want to tell her, there's no telling how she'd react. she seemed receptive when she overheard my thoughts (seriously, is there a way to keep thoughts separate when cofronting? augh) but that doesn't say much. we're just starting to get close and i don't want to mess anything up with my stupid feelings.

anyways. yeah, that's the situation. i don't know what to do from here.

[pernesophe]

I hope it’s okay to add a half baked thought to this, but I’m on my like billionth rewatch of wbk and came to the scene where it shows Choji’s imagination of “the top”.

Rewatching it with this perspective plus Umemiya telling Choji he “had it rough” repeatedly kind of makes me believe that Choji’s idea of “the top” is steeped in his experience of living through poverty.

Like the cartoonish drawing of the hill to the treasure box feels very much what it’s like to grow up poor as in you dream of a better life where you finally achieve something that drags you out of that place. But you don’t have any foundation for how that actually works.

It’s not realistic but kind of relatable that Choji’s perspective is if everyone (including himself) achieves this one thing then everything will be better off, and then he became completely disillusioned and depressed when that obviously wasn’t the case.

Whereas Umemiya’s approach derives from continual work, growth and progress towards something better where everyone is pitching in and working towards that. Regardless of age or professional status in the community (ie the teachers who are okay with students leaving class to protect the town).

I don’t have anything more than that rn, but I just think it’s interesting how both of them grew up in a similar area, and I assume similar economic status and yet that bred two completely different approaches.

I do wanna end this with saying I’ve only watched the anime, and gotten some information through spoilers. Idk if we ever got Choji’s full backstory so I may be way off, but I’ll probably be ruminating on this for awhile tbh

I've been thinking a lot about Makochi and its culture/society a lot lately, since I'm writing a Wind Breaker fic.

I wanted to talk a little about my headcanons/predictions on why things are the way they are in the Wind Breaker universe.

When I first started watching the show, I thought of Wind Breaker as 'an AU where gangs of teenagers rule the sections of the city and battle each other almost like feudal lords'.... and it turns out that's not actually far from the truth. But I think it's deeper than that. Nii-sensei is a much better writer than someone who would just shrug and say "that's just how things are."

I think Makochi is a city stricken with extreme poverty. We see it with Suzuri and his gang of orphans that had to beg and steal to keep each other alive, splitting a single cookie among ten people. We see it with the orphanage that Ume and Kotoha grow up in. In that none of our main cast seem to have parents, that there seem to be no middle-aged people in Makochi, just much older and much younger.

I think that sometime in the past, the gangs started to move in on Makochi, maybe paid off the police, and the police stopped doing their jobs. Or claimed it was too dangerous to do their jobs.

And so the well off people and businesses leave the area, taking jobs with them. The city government can't collect taxes to try to fix things from people with no money. There aren't enough jobs, so young men join gangs to survive. And so we get all the different gangs in Makochi, each with their little square of turf on the map: Shishitoren, KEEL, Noroshi, Furin High.

I think that the adults in Makochi accept being protected by these literal children because no one else will. The city and its people were left behind, failed by those in authority, until Umemiya decided to try to change things. That's why the teachers don't mind when kids leave class or go on patrols. That's why the townspeople love their Bofurin boys so much.

[theshiftingwitch]

What can I do if I manifest to three sp who are friends and one of them says I'm not his type and was also kind of rude. The other one likes my friend and the other one does not even notice my existence.

So many assumptions...

One doesn't like me, the other wants my friend, the third doesn't notice me... Those are assumptions, hence your current reality.

Change your assumptions. They all want you. They're all obsessed with you. They have nothing better to do than to talk about how beautiful and nice and kind and caring and adorable you are. They always think about you.

What you think of them, they will think too. It's thought transmission. So you want to be thinking in your favor so that they too think about you the same way.

Affirm, visualize, script, listen to subliminals, whatever you want to do to get in the right headspace. Just don't go back and forth. Decide and persist.

Happy manifesting ❤️