#source: my conversations

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Erza: I'm gonna teach Natsu a lesson in the only language he understands.

Happy: Japanese.

Erza: What? No. Violence.

Erza: I'm gonna beat the shit out of him.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Jason, laying on the couch: Do you think that 9/11 happened in the paw patrol universe?

Bruce: Sometimes I wish I hadn't adopted you..

[coffeeandjuice]

An average text conversation between Natasha and Peter:

Peter: my new shampoo smells like you

Natasha: What do I even smell like????

Peter: My shampoo

Natasha: what’s in the shampoo?

Peter: …your scent

Natasha: What’s my average scent???

Peter: my shampoo

Natasha: I love how we’re talking in circles

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Roman: hey did you see the mistake in the music charts this week?

Virgil: no?

Roman: they forgot to list you as the hottest single

Virgil: hah I walked right into that one

Roman: sometimes I walk into poles

Virgil:

Virgil: what

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Jason: *Talkin to Dick over the phone* Is replacement there?

Dick: Yea.

Jason: Well, tell him I said *flips off to nobody in particular*

Dick: I gotchu.

Dick to Tim: Hey, Jason said *flips off Tim*

Tim: *Flips Dick off in reply*

[terymlxyrstdus]

james: i honestly think regulus might like me

remus: yeah…not likely

james: but we even talk sometimes

remus: so do we and he certainly doesn’t like me that way

james: but he even calls me by special nickname potter

remus: that’s your surname

[godsdamahalfblood]

Grover's thoughts through HoO regarding his empathy link with Percy: a series

tlh: where tf is this little- I was doing something man find ya ass back at camp or I stg

son: bitch. I told you to FIND YA ASS AT CAMP H A L F B L O O D NOT THIS KNOCK OFF JULIUS CEASER VIBE SHITSTORM

moa: what are- this broke ass blonde pelican better not replace me

hoh: whatthefuckwhatthefuck p a i n wherethefuckispercy whatthe f u c k

boo: stop FUCKIN dying of all the GODDAMN times to get a FUCKIN NOSEBLEED PERSEUS

bonus:

grover: i couldve married a giant. it couldve been done. but NO i decided to make an EMPATHY LINK.

grover, in cali: ah finally some fucking peac- WHAT IS HE DOING NOW HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE S T U D Y I N G

[notbecauseofvictories]

more than anything in this world I love wandering through museums and taking pictures of things to research later. like oh, interesting concept, what if I spent an hour reading about that when I am in my pajamas in bed and it can really blow my mind.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JADE: what do you think of the moon? :D

KANAYA: I Hope It Stays Where It Is

JADE: erm... well i

JADE: i dunno how to tell you this but it moves a little sometimes

KANAYA: What The Devil Are You Talking About

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Casey: Do I look like an idiot? Donnie: *smiles* Casey: Don't answer that.

[yoitsmano]

Rio: I'm going to get some chocolate milk...

Agatha: Aren't you lactose intolerant?

Rio: Who told you that?

*Later*

Rio: *absolutely dying because she is in fact lactose intolerant*

Agatha: *tends to her wife’s upset tummy*

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Lucy: You need to think!

Natsu: I need to what now

[grassbreads]

I've been doing a lot of reading lately about the history of vampires in fiction and how the vampire as we know it today first entered literature, and the subject is honestly fascinating. The traditional folklore around vampires and vampire-like creatures is largely very different from what we'd think of as a vampire today, and it's also very different from how vampires appeared in even their earliest literary incarnations.

For one thing, there's nothing particularly alluring about most traditional vampires. They're bloated corpses that have crawled out of their graves, not dashing mysterious counts in lonely castles. They're not a particularly stylish or sexy monster.

However, from pretty much the moment that western literature first turned to the vampire myth for inspiration, writers saw something in the concept to sexualize. The poem "Der Vampir" (The Vampire) by Heinrich August Ossenfelder is often cited as the first ever true literary depiction of a vampire (published 1748!), and it is about a man corrupting a chaste and religious woman through his unwanted kiss/vampiric bite. John William Polidori's 1819 short story "The Vampyre" is widely seen as the first work to truly codify vampire fiction, and the titular Vampyre Ruthven is in large part inspired by the womanizing Lord Byron. Le Fanu's Carmilla depicts an intense attraction between Carmilla and her victim Laura. Stoker's Count Dracula is a man with overly flushed lips and hair on his palms, marks of Victorian fears of sexuality.

From the very start, vampires in literature have been a sexual monster. They're emblems of the seductive and terrible—the kiss of death that you can't help but be drawn to anyway. A violent forced intimacy that will corrupt you and drain away your very life force. There's a great deal of xenophobia and fear of the un-christian in early vampire fiction as well, but the fear of sex and sexual assault have always been a driver of literary vampires' horror and allure. Writers seem eternally split between desire for the vampire and revulsion at that very lust, even from the moments that the creatures first graced the page.

There's a great tradition of vampiric fiction both using vampirism to evoke sexual predators and making vampires themselves desirably sexy. Thus, given that it is very concerned with sexual assault and bodily autonomy as themes, often uses predation by a vampire to evoke sexual violence, and is deeply horny about vampires and blood drinking, Jun Mochizuki's The Case Study of Vanitas is actually one of if not the best modern successor to the canon of early vampire literature. In this essay, I will

[coffeeandjuice]

Steve: what’s the most important thing you think you’ll write in your life?

Tony on his fourth cup of coffee of the day: a suicide note

[incomingalbatross]

This is an unpolished and untested thought but I think at this point the only way I'd be interested in "portal fantasy as child abuse" fiction is if you had TWO former protagonists of different portal fantasies in conversation, and one of them is traumatized and the other experienced growth and empowerment and is literally fine.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Jason: The floor is lava!

Dick: *Scurries into a chair*

Tim: *Is still on the floor*

Jason and Dick: *Stares at Tim*

Tim: Ahhh, I'm Anakin