#source: mostly the onion

[milfloverobisanya]

ted lasso + headlines

[iruiji]

SAGAU but Creator Reader has been tagging along with the Gourmet Supremos.

If you didn't know or have forgotten, Gourmet Supremos are one of those quest series that is randomized because some part of the questline can only be accessed with dailies (like Whispers in the Wind or Snezhnaya Does Not Believe in Tears or Garcia's Paean).

This questline spans from Inazuma up to Sumeru. I think there were 6-7 quests in total? I forgot. (it's 8).

(These are Julie, Parvaneh and Xudong in order.) There are more characters that made a cameo in here but we'll just limit it with these three.

Context dropped, onto the short HCs.

• Okay so, I didn't really read the whole story of this one so I'm just going to make some random HCs on the fly. I'm aiming for a goody-feel with this one so no heavy angst will be involved.

• Alright, so. Xudong is the leader of the Gourmet Supremos, and he only found you because when you land in Inazuma, you literally dropped into their camp and was about to steal a sausage from Julie's backpack (but there were so many ingredients there!!!)

• Xudong was fuming, lmao.

"THIEF!! SOMEONE, HELP!"

• Aight, geez, made you run a marathon there.

• The next time you've met, all three were together and they saw you roasting some lavender melon in some dilapidated tent you found while walking aimlessly. Hey, better than no shelter at all. For some unfathomable reason, your inventory only consists of food materials - with everything, and I mean everything, missing.

• God damn. It's like the heaven is telling you something. 🙄

• Anyways, yeah. So for some reason, the only access to the goddamn ingredients are locked, and you can't use it and you don't know when you would be able to use it, so you have to scrounge up whatever pitiful sources you can get.

• Sadly, it's mostly lavender melons.

• Like, you already made several dishes from this and it's really starting to grind on your gears, so you took a dive in one of the caverns and found some meat and was happily grilling it with the melons when the trio came out of nowhere.

"Thief!"

The hell. "I didn't get the sausage, though."

"But you still tried to!"

"I mean, I was dying of hunger, so.. you know."

Julie, bless her heart, gets in between you two. "It's fine, Xudong. They needed help, did they not?"

"But-"

This time, Parvaneh chimes in. "As they've told you, they didn't get anything, so let it go. And you." She points at you with calloused finger. "Who are you?"

That caught you off guard a little. Told them your name and, to Xudong's bewilderment, started chatting amicably with you. Some time later though, he softened a bit but still a little cautious. They traded cooking tips with you, and, to their utmost surprise, you exchanged many tips on cooking as well.

"How do you know all this?" Xudong asked as you finished explaining the difference between sauteing onion and garlic first.

"Oh. I'm uh, a professional chef back in our place. Been years though, so yeah." You replied as you took a bite of their chicken. "Holy shit, why is this so good?"

Julie and Parvaneh just smiled proudly.

• So like, you became a new addition to their team - but you actually specialize in desserts. Xudong has many a great views in cooking, as well as the two ladies, and together you journeyed the whole of Inazuma for rare ingredients and made some two or three journals that have been since published and loved by people. (The fangirling/fanboying is real when you saw Xiangling's message drooling about your own version of Tiramisu).

• One day, however, you lot came across a shrine - it doesn't look abandoned, oddly, but it looks really, really old. You asked them what's the deal with this one, and they explained about the Creator.

Oh.

You're in SAGAU?

Shit.

"People said they've come back, but we don't really know.."

Double shit.

• With that knowledge, you try and avoid the main cities as much as possible and only let the three buy on populated areas. Thank God they didn't really notice you suddenly covering half your face with a mask - which you only shrugged when asked.

"I like masks."

Fair enough, they suppose.

• ..oh fuck, is that Yae Miko?

"Ara, and who is this?"

Xudong, Julie and Parvaneh bows and you hastily followed.

"She is our new companion, Lady Miko."

She looks at you with an impish grin. "Oh?"

Dont act suspicious. Don't act suspicious.

"..yo."

Nice.

• Coming across the main characters from the game are very, VERY rare. You can actually count on one hand the characters you've met:

Yae Miko;

Thoma (he was going around asking for favors as usual and you bump into each other and only had quick apologies as interaction);

Kujou Sara (she was patrolling the area and asked about your mask - which you replied that it's part of your outfit. damn, her glare was fucking menacing!);

Kuki Shinobu (you were side to side buying groceries once), and lastly;

Kamisato Ayato (you actually didn't meet - you just saw him giving speech in a podium for some event you just came across).

• You figured, hey, maybe you're NOT the creator or whatever. And just tried to live normally after some time. The mask stayed though, because you just survived the pandemic back here and was cautious.

• About a year and six months with the team, Xudong suggested you come all to Sumeru to expand your knowledge. Holy shit, yes please!

• ..and then you met the Traveler on your way.

"Your Grace..?"

Triple shit.

😭 sorry for disappearing for about a year - i was too lazy finishing anything. And now, I added another idea not to finish on the list 💀 wrote this whole thing in like 30 minutes motivation really is a wonderful thing, huh?

[najia-cooks]

[ID: First image is a close-up on a plate of small flatbreads topped with ground ‘meat’; second is a cross-section of one of the breads. End ID]

صفيحة فلسطينية / Safiha falastinia (Palestinian topped flatbread)

Etymology and origins

صَفِيحَة (“ṣafīḥa”), also transliterated “sfiha” and “sfeeha,” is a flatbread eaten in Palestine, Lebanon, and Syria, comprising a yeasted dough topped with a filling made from ground lamb or beef, spices, and chopped aromatics and vegetables. It may also be called “اللَحْم بالعَجِين” (“al-laḥm b al-‘ajīn,” “meat with dough”)—this phrase is the source of the Turkish “lahmacun” and the Armenian “Լահմաջո” (“lahmadjo”), which describe a closely related dish.

The word “صَفِيحَة” literally means “thin plate” or “sheet”; it comes from the root ص ف ح‎ (ṣ f ḥ), which produces words related to flatness. Compare for example “صَفَّحَ” (“ṣaffaḥa”) “to flatten,” “صَفْحَة” (“ṣafḥa”) “page,” and “صَافَحَ” (“ṣāfaḥa”) “to shake hands.” This term has been borrowed into Brazilian Portuguese as "esfirra" or "esfiha," when the flatbread was brought to Brazil by Levantine immigrants���mostly Christians—beginning in the 1890s. Today, esfiha has been naturalized as a "'typical' Brazilian bar food"; it is said that the typical resident of São Paulo is a "Japanese who speaks Portuguese with an Italian accent while eating an esfiha."

In English, lahmacun (also transliterated "lahmajoun") is sometimes called "Armenian pizza." Similarly, it may be called "صفيحة الأرمنية" ("safiha al-'armaniyya"), "Armenian safiha," in Palestine, indicating that it is regarded as a borrowing from the local Armenian immigrant community. In Armenia, lahmadjo is a very thin, soft flatbread typically topped with beef or lamb, tomatoes, tomato paste, bell peppers, onion, garlic, parsley, red chili paste, and black pepper. With Palestinian safiha, lamb is the typical choice of meat; the dough may be thicker, and enriched with the addition of milk, milk powder, or yoghurt; bell peppers are ommitted; and fried pine nuts may be added. Palestinian restaurateur Nassar Odeh remembers lahmadjo being served in Jerusalem's Old City decades ago; he says that "Armenian dishes" such as this have become "part of the Palestinian culture."

Though the Arabic-derived "lahmadjo" and related terms may be heard, [1] the most common Armenian-language name for this dish is "լոշմիս" ("loshmis")—presumably from "լոշ" "losh" "lavash, thin bread" + "միս" "mis" "meat." Some Western Armenian variations on the name reverse this order (meat-dough, rather than dough-meat): "մսաշոթ" ("msashot"), from "մսա" "msa" "meat" + "շոթ" "shot" "thin bread"; and "մսալոշ" ("msalosh"), from "մսա" "msa" "meat" + "լոշ" "losh" "thin bread."

The dish

A common part of everyday Palestinian cooking, صَفَائِح‎ ("ṣafā'iḥ"; plural of "ṣafīḥa") are often eaten as a snack or a portable lunch. They may also be served as a مَزَّة ("mazza"; "appetizer") for عِيد ("'īd"; "feast," "holiday"; often transliterated "Eid") or Christmas.

Safa'ih are shaped into pinwheels in the port city of يَافَا ("Yāfā"; often transliterated "Yaffa" or "Jaffa"), stuffed with ground meat or spinach. In the Bethlehem region the topping is often mixed with tahina, as well as vinegar or lemon juice, and perhaps pomegranate molasses. Other versions of the meat topping omit tahina and vinegar, and are more tomato-heavy instead.

This recipe is for Bethlehem mazza-style safa'ih, with thick crust that's crisp on the outside and light and fluffy on the inside. Vinegar and pomegranate molasses provide a bright, slightly fruity lift to the topping, while tahina grounds it with a toasty, nutty aroma. Black pepper, allspice, and a green chili pepper add complexity and heat.

[1] There is a proliferation of possible spellings for "lahmadjo" in Armenian, which would indicate that it is a loanword (probably via Turkish, ultimately from Arabic). These spellings include "լամաջո" ("lamadjo") [common]; "լահմաջո" ("lahmadjo"); "լահմաջու" ("lahmadjou"); "լահմաջոն" ("lahmadjon"); "լահմաջուն" ("lahmadjoun") [literary; uncommon]; "լահմաջին" ("lahmadjīn"); and "լահմաջի" ("lahmadjī") [rare]. The letter "ջ" is pronounced as "dj" (IPA: [d͡ʒ]) in Eastern Armenian and a "tch" (IPA: [t͡ʃʰ]) in Western Armenian (timestamp: 40:33).

Support Palestinian resistance by donating to Palestine Action’s bail fund; buying an e-sim for distribution in Gaza; or donating to help a family leave Gaza.

Ingredients:

Makes 24 small safa'ih. Serves 24 as an appetizer, or 6-7 as a main dish.

For the dough:

5 cups (600g) white flour

1 cup (230g) non-dairy yoghurt (لبن رائب) (I used soy)

1/2 cup (125 ml) olive oil

1 1/2 Tbsp (15g) dry yeast

1/2 Tbsp (4g) kosher salt

1 tsp (5g) sugar

A scant cup (220g) of water

A more "everyday" preparation of this dish might make larger, flatter safa'ih out of a dough without dairy. This holiday variant includes yoghurt and makes smaller, fluffier safa'ih; but the yoghurt may be omitted (or milk or milk powder may be added) without injury, and the flatbreads can be made any shape you like.

Leila al-Haddad writes that, in Gaza, white flour used to be eaten as a treat and for special occasions before it later came to replace whole wheat white flour in many kitchens.

For the topping:

500g ground beef substitute (as a replacement for minced lamb)

1 medium tomato, minced

1 medium onion, minced

1-2 green chili peppers, minced

2 tsp kosher salt (1 tsp table salt)

3/4 tsp black pepper

3/4 tsp allspice; or Palestinian 7-spice / mixed spices (بهار مشكل)

1/4 cup white tahina

2 Tbsp pomegranate molasses

2 Tbsp white vinegar, or lemon juice

For a tomato filling, omit the tahina and vinegar, and instead use 2 Tbsp tomato paste; or 8 diced or puréed tomatoes, cooked down.

Instructions:

For the dough:

1. Combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.

2. Make a well in the center and add in the yoghurt, olive oil, and water. Mix them together and then combine them with the rest of the dough. Add water or flour as needed to obtain a soft, slightly tacky dough.

3. Knead the dough on a clean surface for 5-10 minutes, until it bounces back when pressed. Allow to rise, covered, in an oiled bowl for 1-2 hours, until doubled in size.

For the filling:

1. Mince vegetables, or run them through a food processor. Mix all filling ingredients together.

To assemble:

1. Divide dough in half, and then half again; roll out each quarter of the dough into a cylinder and cut it into six equal pieces.

2. Roll each piece of dough into a ball between your hands, and then flatten it into a disc about 1” (2 1/2 cm) high and 3” (8cm) wide. Place on a baking sheet prepared with parchment paper, leaving an inch of space between each circle.

3. Press the center of each dough circle down to create a crust around the edge. Add a few spoonfuls of filling to the center of each safiha and press flat.

4. Bake safa'ih in the middle of an oven at 450 °F (230 °F) for 25-30 minutes, until crust is golden brown.

Serve as an appetizer alongside vegetable salads, pickles, olives, &c.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

What’s for Breakfast?

(yes it’s the parsnip fic)

(tw mentioned nightmares and mildly dissociation)

disclaimer: this will probably be ooc, i’m still extremely new to the fandom so be nice please

description: jason decides to cook and is interrupted by the rest of the bat siblings.

word count: 1556

All he came here to do was drop off some intel for Bruce but now? Now Jason is standing in the middle of the Wayne manor kitchen, with his hands on his hips, wondering what he should cook. He’s hungry, alright, sue him.

It’s Sunday and Sunday is the day Alfred restocks the kitchen so the chances of Jason actually finding something other than premade pancake mix was not great.

The first ingredient item he finds is a few parsnips. He passes one between his hands trying to think of what he can make with them. After a few seconds he comes up with something, tossing the parsnips onto the counter and he collects some onions, a leek, flour, eggs and vegetable oil. He gets the grater out and it’s decided. He’s gonna make parsnip and onion fritters.

Jason starts with slicing the onion. Just get that shit over and done with. The familiar burn of the onion begins in his eyes and he is immediately reminded of the last time he cooked in here. He was 15, it was a few weeks before his death. He and Alfred were making home made burgers, requested by Jason himself, and they made caramelised onions to go with it.

He’s pulled out of the memory by the wet feeling of tears dripping down onto his hand. He glares down at the vegetable as if it had personally wronged him. And you know what? It did. He’s crying all because of a fucking onion.

He continues slicing only slightly more aggressively when he hears a soft patter of feet.

“Todd?” At the sound of his name he looks up and is met with a sleepy Damian staring back. The kid’s got on a set of cat pyjamas, that Jason can admit is kinda cute, and is wiping away what looks to be tears. Must have had a nightmare or something.

“Cooking.” Jason replied gruffly. Damian approaches the island he’s cooking on and stands on his toes to try and see what Jason is cooking. Once again he can admit the kid looked kinda cute with only just his head and little hands poking over the bench.

“Cooking what?” He asks softly and with genuine childlike curiosity, which is rare for Damian. Jason breathes out a sigh and walks over to the small table on the far side of the kitchen and pulls a chair up against the bench.

“Parsnip and onion fritters. Wash your hands and come grate the parsnips for me.” He usually would tell him to fuck off but the kid looks like he could use a distraction and he does love a mission.

Damian washes his hands, climbs up the chair and starts grating.

They slice and grate mostly in quiet, only breaking the silence to quietly giggle at each other's onion induced tears.

“Cooking?” The sound of a voice startles them both so badly Damian almost throws a parsnip and Jason damn near cuts his finger off. When they look up at the source, Cass is standing there with an eyebrow raised.

“Christ, Cassandra, you could have killed us.” Damian says as he lowers the parsnip. Jason huffs out a laugh.

“Again.” He mutters and doesn’t miss the nasty look Damian throws him. Cass only smirks and shrugs. She looks dishevelled but Jason chooses to ignore it. She wanders over to the island, inspects what they’re doing before sitting on one of the stools and pulling her phone out of her pocket. Jason and Damian share a look before continuing what they were doing.

They finally get through all the slicing and grating when Steph and Tim stumble in looking like they had not slept all week. Jason stops what he’s doing just to look at them judgingly.

“Where the fuck have you two been?” he asks like he doesn’t want to know. Steph groans and collapses into the stool next to Cass.

“We were out all night for a stake out that turned up nothing.” Jason makes a confused face at that and looks to Tim who is all but dragging himself to the coffee machine.

“I don’t even want to talk about it.” He says holding a hand up to block out Jason’s judgmental look. Stake outs like that happen, not often but they happen. But for Tim? It’s even less often, he gathers all the intel he can before going out. Make sense for his mood to be shit.

Jason can practically sense Damian is about to say something so he scoops him up by the armpits and places him onto the ground.

“Your jobs done now.” He tells him before the kid can protest. He only receives a slightly grumpy nod before Damian drags the chair back to its regular spot and sits down. Tim looks away from the coffee machine.

“Are you making breakfast?” He asks half judgy half genuine. Jason almost responds with some snarky sarcasm but just looking at Tim tells him the poor guy's exhausted brain would probably melt if he did.

“Yeah I am. Parsnip and onion fritters.”

Steph lifts her head from where it was laying against the kitchen island.

“What the fuck is a parsnip?” Jason chuckles and holds up one of the unused parsnips.

“It's like a white carrot thing. They taste good, trust me.” Steph eyes it suspiciously before shrugging and laying her head back down.

Duke runs in while Jason is mixing in the flour and eggs. He stops and looks at everyone surprised. To Duke’s credit it is rare for all of them to be in the same room for a non vigilante related reason. He looks at Jason and into the bowl.

“Hey, that looks great! I’m heading out to patrol but save me some for when I get back?” He says as he grabs an apple and speeds out of the kitchen without waiting for an answer. Jason files the information to save some away in his head before he continues mixing. He makes sure everything is evenly coated before heating up a pan and drizzling some vegetable oil onto it. He places as many scoops as he can evenly spread on the pan and waits until he can flip them.

The sizzly of the fritters and the oil almost covers up the sound of a new pair of feet entering the kitchen.

“Whatchya making, Jaybird?” This time he doesn’t jump at the sound of Dick’s voice coming from directly over his shoulder. Just by looking at Dick’s eyes tells Jason the eldest is floating in between a dissociation episode. He’s not really all there.

Jesus Christ, was he the only one who had a good night? Well, he doesn’t really know how Duke’s night went but with the way he was rushing to get on patrol, if Jason had to guess it would be probably not good.

“Parsnip and Onion fritters.” He replies while scanning the kitchen for what task he can give Dick to help him out.

“Hey, could you do the dishes for me? I wouldn’t want Alfred to wake up and find the kitchen a mess.” He asks softly. Jason doesn’t mention that Alfred is already up and upon seeing all of them in the kitchen, about ten minutes ago, gave Jason a soft smile and left to do whatever Alfred does when he’s not butlering.

Dick turns to where Jason points to the dishes and nods.

“Oh yeah, of course.” He says spacely. Jason fights the urge to fist pump. If he’s learnt anything it's if you wanna get Dick Grayson to help himself, you gotta guilt trip him a little bit. He does take the knife before Dick can add it to his washing pile. Yeah he’s got some less than moral helping tactics but he’s not gonna let the guy hurt himself.

Damian gets up to help Dick with the dishes and they make quiet conversation. With Damian occasionally yelling when Dick splashes him or tries to place bubbles on his head.

Jason hands the empty bowl to Dick before placing the last of the fritters onto one big plate. He quickly whips up a greek yogurt and herb dip sauce. He grabs out enough plates for everyone and places two on a plate for Duke before wrapping it with foil and placing them in the fridge. He then hands the remaining stack of plates to Dick.

“Alright losers follow if you want breakfast.” He calls out before heading into the proper dining room. Dick sets the table before taking one for himself.

Jason will never tell anyone but he did feel nervous waiting for everyone’s reaction.

“Wait, why is this good?”

“I can’t tell if these are good or if I’m just really fucking hungry.”

“These are really good Jaybird.”

He tried to hide the way the tension fell from his shoulders before digging into his own food. The atmosphere was good and it made Jason kinda miss moments like this. This sense of family and belonging. Just a family having breakfast together.

“Is there any left for me?” Bruce asks as he walks in. Jason looks up at him. He’s met with a proud look he hasn’t seen in what feels like a lifetime. He hides his face and gestures to an empty chair.

“Take a seat, old man.”

I hope the fic is a good as you guys imagined 🥰

here’s a special thanks to @kaycynyrs for sending in the ask that inspired me to look at this fic again and @yourlocal-edgelord for encouraging me to rewrite it and to @heavenssolitude for being there and supporting me 🥰

(i’ll totally untag you guys if you didn’t wanna be tagged. just wanted to say thanks)

[petermorwood]

Flammkuchen / Tarte Flambeé / "German pizza"

This evening I found a slab of Speck (strong-smoked bacon) in the freezer that I didn't know we had, there was half an onion and a tub of Lithuanian sour cream in the fridge, so @dduane decided to try Flammkuchen.

Originally, so the story goes, it was made by bakers as a pre-thermometer way to check the temperature of their wood-fired ovens (and provide a quick snack at the same time).

Tarte flambée is the French name, but "German Pizza" or indeed any sort of pizza it certainly isn't; there's neither tomato sauce nor cheese, and no yeast in the dough.

Whether it's German or French depends on who you ask, since it originates from the province of Alsace, an area which has changed hands a lot in the past couple of centuries and whose ownership has been A Source Of Friction Between Guess Who for almost as long.

To stay neutral, the recipe DD used is Swiss. ;->

Here's the translation:

*****

Alsatian tarte flambée

This delicious speciality from Alsace is also ideal for an aperitif. Thinly rolled bread dough with sour cream, onions and bacon cubes!

350g flour (12½ oz) 1.25 tsp salt 2 dl water (6.7 US fl oz / .42 US pt) 2 tbsp olive oil 200 g crème fraîche / sour cream (7 oz) 2 onions (we had less, so used less...) 120 g farmer's (thick, well-smoked) bacon in slices (4¼ oz) a small grind of pepper

And this is how it's done:

Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Pour in water and oil, mix and knead into a soft, smooth dough. Form the dough into a ball, cover and let it rest at room temperature for about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 240 degrees (464 F). Halve the dough and roll it out into an oval shape about 3 mm thick (1/10 inch) on a lightly floured surface. Place the dough on two baking sheets lined with baking paper.

Spread the crème fraîche / sour cream over the dough, leaving a border of approx. 1 cm (½ inch) free all around. Peel the onions, cut them into fine rings, cut the bacon into strips, spread both over the crème fraîche / sour cream and season.

Baking per tray: approx. 12 minutes each on the bottom shelf of the oven.

*****

Since this was our first time making Flammkuchen, we baked them one at a time to check for errors. There were none (Swiss recipe!) and 12 minutes was exactly right to produce this result both times:

DD needs to be careful because of IBS so they were made with mostly bacon on one side, mostly onion on the other, and with a glass of cool white wine they made an excellent Sunday supper.

Next time, now we know how well this recipe works, we'll be more generous with the toppings. :->

Incidentally, rather than baking-trays or the pizza stone we need to replace (ceramic utensils, tile floors and gravity Do Not Mix Well) we used the cast-iron griddle which in summer often goes on the BBQ...

... and gave the oven a thorough pre-heating, then transferred the Flammkuchen in and out with a peel, all of which worked splendidly.

That tip about using baking paper is excellent, BTW: no sticking, no spillage, no washing up. I bet it'll work with other things as well.

Like, for instance, more Flammkuchen... ;->

[chefkids]

Sydney lights a fire for Carmy

The first thing that happens in the entire series is the sounds of the stove igniter clicking to start a fire, while Carmy is dreaming.

Sydney brought the heat and fire.

I really do not think they spent that much screen time explaining the fire suppression system to not put it into work.

Tina turning up Sydney's literal heat caused problems between them.

When the pilot light is out, Sydney starts a fire. He was worried about the heat on the stove and the grease trap catching fire right before trying Sydney's dish, then Sydney left and a grease fire breaks out.

When Sydney heard back from Carmy, she almost burned her onions. When Sydney first came to his place, she almost lit his pants on fire. Syd and Carmy have a slow burn. Their fire is increasing. They tried to suppress it and for a while it worked. But the flames are not out and it's going to reignite.

With Claire, he thought there was a genuine spark and some fire, but it was mostly literally fireworks. Artificial, planned, pretty to look at, but ultimately not a practical source of energy that he needs. Fireworks are also not legal in Illinois. He needed a real fire for the restaurant and the fireworks were not going to cut it.

He has an energy problem, which is brought up when he was out with Claire all day. We know Fak fixed some of their electrical problems for the fire suppression by rewiring things at the last minute, but if they now get too much amperage that puts them at risk for electrical fires. I would not be surprised if there's some sort of issue that causes the fire again. Sydney gives Carmy fire, they just have to embrace it and harness it.

[lionsongfr]

Riot of Rot Cuisine- Second Course

Since I promised I would do another one when a Plague venue actually came out. Still ended up mostly using items from Gathering. OTL Previous can be found here: link

Eternal Soup Hotpot- the last warrior to die before the peace between Plaguebringer and Gladekeeper had their bones gifted to 10 Plague chefs. From those bones came 10 eternal soups, their cauldrons are never emptied, and their liquid is replenished as needed. Since food can be scarce in the Plaguelands it is customary to bring food items to dip into the pot and devour as hotpot together. The most common items brought are “dung balls” (ground Gigante chicken livers mixed with Wild Onion), Leechroot Mushroom, whole Glass Minnows, and Banded/Land Snails (slurped right out of the shell!)

Bloody Hearts- despite the name this is one of the few non-meat dishes of Plague. A Gryphon's Blood Sempervivum is first steamed and then the center gently scraped away to reveal a clean heart. Wild Onions, Canyon Ruffage, and garlic are sautéed with Flying Butter, and are then simmered with a Sour Strawberry wine.  Grassland Grain breadcrumbs are added before the mixture is stuffed into Sempervivum and baked till golden. A spicy Ashfall Prickler sauce is drizzled on top.

Hellwell Pepper Soup- in the hot and arid air of the Wastelands, Rapheal (a catfish) are dried out in the open. The fish are treated with a mixture of salt and Herbal Plantain to fend off microbes and hungry Bloodfang. To dine on the fish, it must be first be soaked to remove the salt. The soup base is a paste of Blacktongue pepper, Hot Pepper, Wild Onions, garlic, basil, and Cinnamon added to boiling water. The fish is then added to the pot and cooked till tender. Served with boiled Green Plantains or poured over top of mashed Turnips. A searing spice that must be survived to enjoy. 

Mom's Spaghetti and Meat Balls- the meat balls can be made of any meat scraps, but the most common ingredients are ground Maggots and Diseased Fungus, which is fried in Hissing Goose fat to enhance the flavor. The pasta is made of Crisp-Leaf Amaranth, dense and chewy, and topped with a sauce made of Wild Catsup, sour Flying Butter milk, and Desert Sage. A grating of nutritional yeast is often offered to give a cheesy flavor to the dish.

Plague Bat Adobo- colonies of Plague Bats flying is a frequent sight across the Wasteland and are a plentiful food source. The meat is cut up into chunks and first browned in Mushroom Oil. It is then simmered with Wild Onion, garlic, Butcher’s Fig vinegar, Hot Peppers, and soy sauce. The meat is allowed to cook until it is tender and served over a bed of Grassland Grain.  The primary ingredient, vinegar, inhibits the growth of bacteria!

Green Eggs and Ham Omelet- an Undying Featherback is a ferocious beast, and its meat must be cured in separate caverns to keep it from reforming. This valuable ham is used sparingly not just because of its cost, but also its strong and gamey flavor. The omelet starts out by boiling Wasteland Pear nopales, which are then rinsed under cold water and chopped. Wild onions, nopales, and the chopped ham are seared, and then whisked Gigante eggs are added over top. An herbivore friendly version substitutes the ham with the meaty Leechroot Mushroom, while insectivores prefer fried Fungus Cutter pupae.

Wyrm Jelly- when a tendril of the Wandering Contagion breaks off and dies it becomes hollow. Clans carefully collect these tendrils and fill them with a gelatin mixed with blood, Cinnamon, and Herbal Plantain (anti-toxin).  The gelatin is set in the cold desert night before being squeezed out into long tubes of gummies. It is believed that whatever killed the tendril will colonize the gut of the dragon, strengthening them against any new disease.

Beetle Sausage- long strands of Grapevine and Vineyard beetles dipped into concentrated grape juice and then hung to dry like sausages. The colors can vary depending on the type of grape from the Blue Indigo to Orange Autumn. It is a calorie dense treat that warriors often carry into battle to renew their energy. Also, because somehow Plague has grapes?

Snot Shot- Streak’s Dagger herbal liquor is known for its numerous therapeutic properties, caloric values, and bright neon green color. The shot is layered with a red Sugarmelon schnapps (import from Water Flight), followed by the green Streak’s Dagger liquor, and topped with a Wasteland Pear cream liquor…and then a spritz of Sour Strawberry juice. The drink must be downed quickly before the cream and acid of the juice becomes a curdled mess of sick. (though some Plague dragons prefer it that way)

[practicalsolarpunk]

Hey do you have any tips for making my garden very low maintenance but still productive. I have a large raised bed and a field with very good soil quality but I just don't have the energy to garden all the time. They both get lots of sun.

These tips are mostly focused on reducing the maintenance required in weeding and watering, which are often the two biggest things that gardeners end up doing to maintain gardens. These tips are also fairly general. As always, if you have more specific questions, please feel free to send in another ask with more details!

Mulch is my go-to method to reduce weeding and watering. Putting mulch around your plants helps keep water from evaporating out of the soil and makes it a lot harder for weeds to grow. This doesn't have to be fancy expensive mulch either - lawn clippings or wet newspaper work just fine (and I would argue better than traditional wood chip mulch).

Soaker hoses are a low-effort way to water, especially if your garden is large. Depending on your setup, watering the garden could be as simple as turning on a spigot.

The Ruth Stout method is an entire gardening method that combines mulching and no-dig techniques to grow plants with minimal effort. An overview here.

Grow native plants. They're already adapted to the growing conditions of your area and tend to grow well with little human input. If you're in the US, your local county extension office can help you pick options and possibly source seeds.

Similar to the last point, choose hardy, low-maintenance plants. I'm using vegetable examples here since that's most of what I grow personally: Beans, peppers, greens like lettuce and spinach, summer squashes like zucchini, and many herbs tend to grow perfectly fine if you throw the seeds at dirt and water them occasionally. Potatoes, carrots, onions, and tomatoes either require special soil preparation or tend to need more maintenance and care while growing to deal with pests or disease. Find the overlap between what grows well in your climate and growing season and what doesn't require a lot of maintenance or preparation.

Look into permaculture gardening principles. A running permaculture garden should be fairly low-maintenance, but it can take a lot of energy and effort to get it going, which may not be the best fit for what you need. However, there are a lot of overlapping concepts in permaculture. You may find things you can implement in your garden to reduce how much energy you have to put into it without going full permaculture. One intro here, another here; I'm also a huge fan of Heather Jo Flores and Food Not Lawns as resources.

I hope this helps! Followers, please chime in with any tips you may have.

- Mod J

[hugemilkshake]

https://www.tumblr.com/hugemilkshake/746976766494720000/httpswwwtumblrcomhugemilkshake74666492724104?source=share

I love a lot of those ideas...and actually now got ideas for a part 2:

Imagine if the ancients visit y/n after a while of y/n just staying mostly in bed...and it's so they can dote on y/n too and make sure they are relaxed and happy and can imagine a little add on if you want...based off the "freshly baked cookie" part...

Like at one point dark enchantress shows up and ancients prepare to fight buuuut turns out she isn't here to cause stress for y/n by causing a war...she is here to help y/n learn to walk! Like she is holding y/n up and letting go so y/n slowly learns to stand and when they get the hang of it...they make a fun game to make sure y/n is having fun and happy while learning to walk (and so various cookies can have a chance to hug y/n...you'll understand why when I say game. Also it's so cookies can show their love for y/n and vent out a little of their competition through a fun game...aaaand remind themselves to keep their fight for y/n on the down low because...again want y/n to feel safe and happy.)

The game? A play obstacle course where each cookie is a 'check point' where y/n simply has to walk up to them and give them a hug before going onto the next cookie...and like the cookies are cheering them on "come on y/n! You can do it!" Ofcourse having some cookies nearby so if y/n starts to stumble, they can rush up to y/n like "hey hey its ok its ok...you're ok, we are here for you!"

And can imagine at the end, the cookies are all super proud of y/n lol!

Oooor maybe you can make up you're own 'y/n learns to walk' game where cookies can be more...competitive...buuut ofcourse maybe they mask it behind playful banter and so on so y/n doesn't feel the stress of having cookies fight over them lol!

Sorry if I'm being too descriptive or if I Sounded weird or anything lol! Just got thoughts flowing lmao!

Enjoy the milkshake! Don’t worry about sounding too descriptive, it’s actually more helpful for me since I don’t have to think of a plot- also dark enchantress might be ooc

How do you walk?

Part 1, part 3

Self aware AU

-platonic-

“ … and that’s when Blackberry Cookie came over to calm down Onion Cookie! After that everything was fine!”

You rested in the bed as Gingerbrave talked about recent events, this was a weekly occurrence, you didn’t hate it! But you wished you could walk around and talk to more cookie besides Gingerbrave, Strawberry, Wizard Or Custard lll…

Gingerbrave got up to leave before saying one last thing “Oh and one last thing before I leave! The ancient Cookies are going to be visiting! They might come see you to try and help you with your problem”

Huh… that was new… some cookies who might be able to help you out… only issue was that these cookies are some of the strongest in this game, or well this world you should say. So you were nervous about that.

A week went by the ancient cookie finally arrived in the cookie kingdom

You were nervous, an even a little scared

I mean these cookies could kill you if desired.

And you couldn’t even walk! So you couldn’t do anything against them!

When the ancients arrived, Pure Vanilla was the first to come into the room, along with Gingerbrave.

Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese came in next, followed by White Lily and Hollyberry.

Gingerbrave introduced you since you couldn’t talk

Now the vibe was meant to be nice and friendly, but it just wasn’t

It was VERY awkward

Now all the ancients had different opinions on you

Pure Vanilla wanted to help you get better since you literally couldn’t do anything but you couldn’t talk so he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries

Hollyberry wanted to lighten up you mood, so she told jokes and it worked for a little bit

Dark Cacao was very unsure of what to think about you. He’s not good with stuff like this

Golden Cheese was a bit like Hollyberry in a way but her jokes didn’t land that much

White Lily was very fascinated by your predicament. She has studied cookies for a while and has never seen something like this happen before

And Gingerbrave was there to have things to a bit more smoothly.

But in the end you guys didn’t get anything done. You couldn’t talk so it was to be expected.

The ancients bid you a farewell and left along with Gingerbrave

You were now alone…

It was the dead of night and you were reading since you were so used to staying up late and not sleeping, it was something you were working on.

But unlike all the other nights, everything felt off. Like there was a lurking darkness around you, it kinda give you anxiety.

No… not kinda…

It did give you anxiety.

You were reading when you heard your door open, and you saw a figure that resembled White Lily

You greeted her…. At least you thought you greeted White Lily…

When the figure responded, if definitely didn’t sound like White Lily

The figure stepped into the light and you froze in fear

Dark Enchantress was right in front of you

Now you were used to stressful situations but this was different

You were actively in danger.

You were going to scream before the sorceress shushed you

“Don’t scream. Im not going to hurt someone as pathetic as you.”

Ouch… but you weren’t in danger so that was good..?

Dark Enchantress told you that you needed to get up and walk. And without warning she pulled you up and got you to balance yourself

“Your not going to survive if you keep being babied by cookies. Now I’m going to leave you. Next time I see you, you better be able to walk”

And just like that she left.

You were left confused and started

And needless to say the next day Strawberry Cookie came into the room she had a heart attack since you were standing.

[kingofbodyrolls]

Sprout | knj | one

| s.masterlist | m.masterlist |  next →

Summary: You love your plants, you love your garden, you do not love your new neighbor. You hate him with all your might— he wrecks everything you hold dear so you do the only reasonable thing: retaliate. 

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader 

AUs: neighbors au, gardening au, non!idol au → strangers to enemies (mostly one sided) to friends to lovers 

Genres: slice of life, smut, humor

Rating: mature

Word count: 3.7K

Warnings: Reader is morally grey; she’s being petty and bratty. There’s some immature pranks and vandalism. Yeah, she’s on a warpath. Otherwise this chapter is pretty tame 😛

Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸

Author’s note(1): this ended up being a mini series! After I wrote Friendcation I really wanted to write something shorter… So here it is! I really hope you like it 💜

Taglist: @svnbangtansworld

It’s been cross posted to AO3 if you prefer to read there 🙂

Your heart thrives in the lush embrace of your garden, where your love for nurturing life transcends the ordinary. 

It's not merely about gardening; it's an intimate rendezvous with nature's heartbeat. The simple act of plunging your hands into the soil becomes a euphoric ritual, a tactile communion that not only exhilarates your senses but also serves as a conduit to a world where each seed, leaf, and root tells a captivating story of growth and vitality. 

The intimate dance with the earth, the sheer joy that courses through you as you feel the soil's gritty embrace, transcends mere gardening; it's a symphony of life, a celebration of your role as both creator and nurturer.

Cultivating new life from the humble seed is a profound joy that resonates deeply within you. The enchantment unfolds as you witness the delicate emergence of sprouts, each one a testament to the potential contained within a tiny seed. 

It's a captivating journey, from the tentative first leaves unfurling to the triumphant bloom of fruits and vegetables, a tangible manifestation of the joy and sustenance your hands have meticulously cultivated for both you and your roommate to savor.

As the radiant embrace of summer envelops your world, an effusion of life bursts forth, a vibrant bloom unfurling its tendrils both in your garden and within the sanctuary of your greenhouse.

The greenhouse burgeons with a dazzling array of life—a cornucopia of tomatoes, watermelons, peppers, and cucumbers that stretches every inch of its confines. The air is thick with the heady scent of ripening fruit, and the vibrant hues of red, green, and orange create a kaleidoscopic mosaic that beckons exploration.

In your garden, three majestic raised beds stand like regal sentinels, cradling a treasure trove of nature's bounty. Within their elevated embrace, a symphony of flavors and colors converges, boasting a diverse ensemble that includes the earthy allure of onions, the crisp sweetness of carrots, the robust presence of pumpkins, the delicate charm of strawberries, the verdant allure of spinach, and an array of captivating salads. 

Each bed is a symphony of flavors and textures, a carefully orchestrated composition that invites both the eye and the palate to revel in the diverse tapestry of life thriving under your attentive care.

Your garden isn't just a source of pride; it's a living masterpiece, a testament to your dedication and nurturing touch. This verdant haven, bathed in the hues of your hard work, transcends mere admiration; it's your sanctuary, a sacred retreat where the stresses of the world dissolve. 

Each leaf, every bloom, whispers tales of resilience and growth, creating an intimate haven where you find solace and restoration.

In the embrace of nature's symphony, your garden becomes more than soil and seeds—it's a living, breathing refuge, a space where you not only cultivate plants but also cultivate peace and tranquility for your soul to flourish.

Within the heart of your greenhouse, nestled amidst the thriving foliage, is a cozy sanctuary—an inviting lounge set with a round table and two chairs. This intimate corner is not just a seating arrangement; it's a haven where friendship blossoms. Here, you and your friends can unwind, enveloped by the lush greenery, engaging in heartfelt conversations over steaming cups of tea or coffee. 

In the heart of your greenhouse, you stand amidst the verdant symphony, hands adorned with the earth's rich embrace—fertile soil clinging to your fingertips, a testament to the alchemy of growth you orchestrate. Here, amidst the fragrant dance of botanical life, you sow the promise of winter greenery. This isn't your inaugural venture into nurturing winter blooms; it's a sequel to a tale that unfolded with delight last year. 

The memory of vibrant winter greens thriving under your care lingers, a testament to the harmony you crafted within these walls. Driven by the echo of past success and an insatiable love for the seasonal metamorphosis, you embark on this green journey once more.

Within the expansive embrace of your bountiful garden, nature's generosity unfolds, providing an abundant harvest of fruits and vegetables that not only sustains you and your roommate but also extends its benevolent reach to your cherished neighbors.

Which makes you think of the dear Kims—Kim Seokjin and his wife—embarking on a journey to a larger home, carving out space for their expanding family, tugs at the strings of your heart. While you understand the practicality of their move, a somber melancholy settles within you, for they have not just been neighbors; they have been the epitome of kindness and warmth. 

With an earnest yearning, you cling to the hope that your incoming neighbor will show kindness, sweetness, and warmth akin to the cherished friendship you shared with the departing Kims.

He doesn’t.

The day has arrived when your neighbor, Seokjin, faces the bittersweet necessity of moving. The street is lined with colossal trucks, a tangible representation of the imminent change. As tears trace their silent path down your cheeks, you refuse to let the sorrow eclipse the spirit of friendship. 

Despite the weight of emotions, you join forces with Jungkook, your steadfast roommate, to transform the process into a collective effort. Together, you navigate the labyrinth of memories, carrying not just boxes but the shared history of laughter, shared moments, and the neighborly bonds that have woven through the fabric of your days. 

As the reality of parting sets in, the ache of missing Seokjin and his pregnant wife becomes a weight on your heart. Determined to express the depth of your sentiment, you envelop them in tight, lingering hugs, the warmth of your embrace carrying unspoken words of friendship and well-wishes. Amidst the bittersweet farewells, you articulate your genuine hopes for their future, weaving a promise of staying connected. With each heartfelt word, you convey that the physical distance won't sever the ties of friendship.

In a world where genuine connections with neighbors are as rare as finding hidden gems, you've recognized the preciousness of Seokjin and his wife. Their sweetness and kindness have forged a bond that transcends the typical neighborly exchanges. Their generosity extends beyond mere pleasantries—during a challenging chapter in your life, when the looming shadows of unemployment threatened your stability, it was their unwavering support that illuminated your path. 

Together, you navigated the uncertainty, and Seokjin suggested his friend Jungkook as a roommate to help you financially, and Jungkook has since become an integral part of your life as a steadfast and cherished roommate.

Undoubtedly, the Kims have not just been neighbors but pillars of unwavering support and kindness, surpassing any expectations one might have for ideal neighbors. 

In the wake of the Kims' departure, their once-vibrant house now stands silent, a poignant reminder of the cherished moments shared. However, your curiosity, like an invisible magnet, draws you to the window. From your vantage point, you observe with a mix of intrigue and anticipation as a moving truck sidles up next to their now-empty abode. You almost feel like a creep as you watch them unload furniture and boxes.

Whispers in the neighborhood had reached your ears—an intriguing coincidence as a man, bearing the surname 'Kim,' was poised to become your new neighbor. The town's gossip mill hummed with speculation, but you tuned out the rest, your focus fixated on the serendipitous arrival of this mysterious Kim.

Jungkook ambles over, his sudden presence jolting you against the window, prompting an involuntary jump. With a teasing grin, he questions your clandestine observation, his laughter echoing through the room. “Why are you lurking?” he jests, enjoying the playful spectacle of your eye roll in response. 

“I’m observing.” You declare with matter-of-fact precision, and in response, Jungkook simply offers a contemplative ‘hm.’

Throughout the day, the elusive presence of the new neighbor has been a captivating enigma, a puzzle you've been diligently attempting to unravel. Despite your earnest efforts, the quest for a mere glimpse has proven elusive.

“I'm just curious to get a read on the new guy,” you confess, drawing out your words with a touch of playful mystery. As you gracefully step away from the window, the allure of the unknown lingering in the air, you head into the kitchen with purpose.

You fetch the kettle and begin to boil some water for tea.

“Just give the guy some space to settle in, and when the time is right, you can whip up those mouthwatering cookies of yours and give him a warm welcome to the neighborhood,” Jungkook suggests, trailing after you into the kitchen. He deftly retrieves two mugs from the overhead cabinets, placing them in anticipation of the soon-to-be-boiling kettle.

Rummaging through the tea stash, you unearth aromatic sachets—one for yourself and another for Jungkook—and delicately place them into the waiting mugs. As the kettle sings its final crescendo, you pour the steaming water into the mugs, initiating the alchemical process that transforms the humble leaves into an elixir of warmth.

The synchronicity between you and Jungkook is seamless, a finely tuned rhythm born out of the years you've spent living together. Perhaps it's the invisible thread of familiarity that binds you, a connection so deep that you can effortlessly complete each other's sentences, the unspoken language of friendship. He’s much more than a roommate; you love him like a brother, an annoying little brother, even though you’re the same age.

“Good idea! The legendary triple chocolate cookies?” you propose, your eyes lighting up with the prospect of sweet indulgence. Holding your tea mug, you savor the warmth of the liquid against your lips, a comforting ritual that transcends seasons—you're an unapologetic tea enthusiast, even in the heat of summer. 

“Absolutely! Hell yeah!” Jungkook exclaims, his enthusiasm echoing through the room like a burst of unbridled joy. As he eagerly recalls the memory of the last batch you made, his words become a vivid homage to the culinary masterpiece, the taste still lingering on his tongue like a cherished melody. 

Throughout the entire weekend, the symphony of your new neighbor's move has reverberated, a lively crescendo of sound that paints the air with the vibrant hues of laughter and camaraderie. His entourage of friends, a boisterous ensemble, fills the atmosphere with the clatter of unloading boxes and the rhythmic shuffle of furniture being transported from the truck. 

Yet, despite the lively spectacle of your new neighbor's move, his actual presence remains an elusive mystery. The air is thick with anticipation as questions swirl within your mind: Is he old? Is he your age? Does he possess the warmth and kindness that endeared Seokjin and his wife to your heart? Your curiosity becomes a cascade of inquiries, a mental carousel that you acknowledge is just you being noisy.

Up to this point, the sole revelation about your new neighbor is his knack for creating quite the noise. The symphony of sounds, though vibrant in its own way, becomes a stark contrast to the familiar warmth and silence that once emanated from Seokjin and his wife's abode. 

Damn you miss Seokjin and his wife.

While the awareness of ongoing move-in activities tempers your expectations for noise, an unexplainable discomfort begins to settle in. The amalgamation of unfamiliar sounds, even in the midst of anticipated relocation clamor, manages to irk you. 

And you haven’t even met the guy yet.

Several days have elapsed, it appeared that your new neighbor had completed the arduous task of settling in. A glimmer of hope fluttered, suggesting that the relentless clamor would finally recede. Yet, to your dismay, a new auditory storm emerged—his penchant for playing music at an astonishing volume became the unforeseen soundtrack to your days. 

“I already hate him, Guk,” you declare with a melodramatic sulk, dramatically flopping down onto the couch beside Jungkook.

He swivels his head in your direction, a mischievous smile playing on his lips before erupting into a hearty laugh. “Come on, it’s just music. How bad can it get?”

After a patient wait, the oven radiates a palpable heat, reaching the optimal temperature to host the transformation of dough into decadence. With a sense of anticipation, you carefully place the trays laden with the promise of triple chocolate cookies into the fiery embrace of the oven. 

Despite the less-than-ideal introduction to your new neighbor, marred by his thunderous music and a symphony of questionable sounds that you'd rather not contemplate—, there's a resolute yearning within you to extend an olive branch. 

Fueled by the desire for neighborly harmony, you're determined to overcome the initial discord and approach him with a peace offering, a genuine gesture to welcome him into the neighborhood, hoping to mend the dissonant notes that currently define your thoughts about him.

Just as the first tray of cookies begins its enchanting transformation in the oven, your ‘girl boss’ playlist providing a lively backdrop, the symphony is abruptly punctuated by the unmistakable sound of shattering glass echoing from outside. 

A sudden chill races down your spine, the shivers intensified by the ominous realization that the shattering sound emanates from the vicinity of your garden. Locking eyes with Jungkook, a silent exchange of concern, you swiftly transition from baking bliss to a sprinting guardian of your sanctuary. 

The urgency in your steps amplifies the suspense, as you dash outside, propelled by a blend of curiosity and trepidation, determined to unveil the source of the disruptive crash that disrupted the tranquil rhythm of your day.

Shards of glass glisten like misplaced stars in the grass, guiding your gaze to a seemingly innocent purple ball. However, your eyes transform into metaphorical daggers as they lock onto the source of the havoc, revealing a telltale hole in the once-pristine surface of your beloved greenhouse. 

A surge of anger courses through your veins, a visceral reaction to the shattered tranquility mirrored in the glass strewn across the grass. While distant voices from your neighbor try to penetrate your consciousness, your focus remains ensnared by the chaos within the greenhouse—the fractured plants and the disarrayed remnants of what was once a sanctuary. 

Navigating the shards with cautious steps, you venture into the greenhouse, the air heavy with a sense of apprehension and loss. As you survey the wreckage, the toll becomes painfully clear—fragments of tomatoes, cucumbers, and watermelons lay strewn, their promise of abundance now reduced to a heartbreaking scene of destruction.

An inferno of rage surges through your veins, akin to liquid fire or molten lava, an elemental force consuming reason and calm. The greenhouse, once a sanctuary, now stands as a testament to the havoc wrought—its structural integrity compromised, and the once-vibrant plants broken and battered. 

Your gaze fixes on the offending purple ball, and in a sudden revelation, the realization lands like a forceful blow—it's a sinister gift from your new neighbor. A surge of fury engulfs you, a tempest that ignites within, transforming your blood into a boiling cauldron of rage until the world before your eyes is tainted with a visceral shade of red. 

Driven by an uncontrollable wave of anger, you storm outside, seizing the ominous purple ball with a fierce determination. Each step to your new neighbor is punctuated by the rhythmic thud of your stampede, a declaration of intent that resonates with your frustration.

Amidst the clash of emotions, a figure emerges—a man with disheveled silver hair hurtling toward you, hands raised in a gesture of surrender, a young child at his side. 

The ball gripped tightly in your hand becomes both a weapon and a question mark as you confront the silver-haired man. The fury in your voice is palpable, a tempest churning within each word as you demand answers. “What is this?” you seethe, elevating the purple sphere as a visual indictment, challenging him to reckon with the consequences of his actions. 

“A ball?” he responds with a nervous chuckle, his hand seeking solace through the disheveled landscape of silver hair at the back of his head. Beside him, a little boy, no older than six, clings to his leg with a grip that speaks of both innocence and trepidation. 

“You think you’re smart, huh?” you begin, the words laden with a potent mix of frustration and mounting anger. The simmering emotions rise like a tide within you, unleashing a renewed flood of resentment that threatens to engulf your entire being.

“I'm so sorry about the ball. We didn't mean to throw it over the fence—” the man starts to apologize, but your tolerance for explanations dwindles to nothing. You cut him off with an air of absolute dismissal, leaving no room for excuses or justifications.

“You shattered my greenhouse!” you roar in frustration, the anger propelling the ball from your hand towards him. In a deft move, he catches it effortlessly against his chest, the tension in the air palpable.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't mea—” he begins, but you cut through his attempt to explain with a dismissive wave.

“I don't care! You should be mindful of other people's property. I had plants in there that are now broken and useless,” you declare, your voice stern and scolding. The words emerge like a verbal reprimand, each syllable charged with the weight of your anger. As you speak, the intensity manifests physically, your breaths becoming huffs of air, mirroring the turbulent emotions that still churn within you. 

You observe the man's persistent attempts at apology, and the child clings even tighter to his sturdy thigh, as if seeking refuge in the face of the storm brewing in front of him.

“Fuck you. Don't let it happen again,” you spit, the words laden with an unrelenting edge. You observe him swiftly cover the child's ears, shielding innocence from the raw exchange. Just as you pivot to leave, a tense silence lingering, he finds his voice once more. 

Observing him withdraw his hands from the child's ears, he takes a measured step in your direction. “Look, lady,” he begins, his tone a blend of frustration and assertion, “I already apologized. There's no reason to be so crude, especially not in front of a kid.”

Your gaze swiftly traverses them from head to toe, a brusque assessment. “Like I give a shit,” you retort with a dismissive snort.

“Joon, why is the lady mad?” inquires the boy, casting a curious glance at your neighbor. 

“Well, we ruined her greenhouse, which we've already apologized for. Now I'm starting to think she's just stuck up and has a stick up her ass,” your neighbor explains in a composed tone to the child, who simply gapes at the blunt choice of words.

The audacity of his words hits you like an unexpected blow. Stuck up? The incredulity courses through you as you grapple with the absurdity of the accusation. Him, the one who shattered your pride and joy, casting you as the haughty one?

“Well, fuck you!” you scream in frustration, punctuating the sentiment with a defiant middle finger. With a final act of rebellion, you storm away, retreating back into your house, your fury a palpable force propelling your every step. 

Gasping for breath, you stumble inside, a disheveled embodiment of raw emotion. Jungkook gazes at you, confusion etched on his face as he questions, “What happened?”

In a huff, you explain, “Piece of shit neighbor broke my greenhouse,” the words tumble out, each syllable a testament to the frustration gripping you. With a perfunctory motion, you snatch the tray from Jungkook, who had kindly retrieved it from the oven when the cookies were ready. 

Now, the sweet aroma of accomplishment is tainted, and the once-desired treats feel like a bitter offering. You contemplate discarding them, convinced your neighbor doesn't deserve the indulgence born from your hard work and nurturing care.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook queries with genuine concern, his worry palpable in the furrow of his brows and the earnest tone of his voice. Clutching the tray, you navigate towards the trash can, your actions leaving an air of uncertainty hanging between you two.

“Throwing them out?” you retort, the words a sharp echo in the air as you lock eyes with Jungkook. 

“Don't! I'll eat them,” Jungkook pleads, motioning for you to spare the tray from its impending fate in the trash. 

A flicker of reluctance dances in your eyes, but the prospect of salvaging the cookies prevails. After all, it would be a shame to let them go to waste merely because your neighbor is a piece of shit

Despite Jungkook's plea for you to set aside your fury and accept the apology from your new neighbor, the ember of resentment within you refuses to be extinguished. 

For reasons unknown, a bitter taste lingers within you, refusing to let go. The turmoil is inexplicable, but the remnants of resentment persist. He didn't just break your greenhouse; he shattered a piece of your sanctuary. Now, held together with a temporary tapestry of plastic, the wounded structure serves as a constant reminder, a tangible testament to the disruption that's not easily brushed aside.

Not to mention the plants that withered away that fateful day. Yes, they perished under the weight of the intrusion, and no, you refuse to consider it as mere drama, as Jungkook suggested. 

Anger bubbles within you, a volatile force demanding retribution. In the crucible of resentment, a calculated decision takes root: to do the only thing that feels just—sabotage some of his. An eye for an eye, the ancient adage whispers in your mind.

Thus, you find yourself meticulously gluing his mailbox together, rendering it an inoperable shell that denies him the simple act of receiving mail or opening the damn thing! 

A sense of self-satisfaction courses through you as you observe him from the vantage point of your living room window, wrestling with his unyielding mailbox, frustration etched across his face. 

A laugh of vindication escapes your lips as you revel in his futile struggle. His bewildered gaze sweeps the surroundings, a clear sign that he fails to comprehend what's wrong with his once-functional mailbox. Frustration etches lines on his face before he concedes, retreating back into the confines of his home. 

Jungkook sidles up next to you, a quizzical expression on his face. “Is that your handiwork?” he inquires, pointing towards your neighbor's now dysfunctional mailbox. 

A chuckle escapes your lips, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Yeah.”

“You're being childish and mean,” he reproaches, shaking his head in disapproval of your actions. A chuckle escapes him, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I bet you like him,” he remarks with a knowing smile, strolling past you. 

You gape at him, disbelief etched across your face. No. No such thing. “I fucking hate him, and he deserves it,” you retort vehemently, the raw intensity in your voice emphasizing the depth of your disdain. 

Author’s note(2): Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I appreciate every like, comment and reblog, and please don’t be afraid to let me know what you think;  your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜

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[cocainever]

SHEET PAN MEALS

Mostly vegetables and one source of protein. FIBER FILLED CARBS. It’s a dream come true for orthos!!

I have three kinds I like to make

nacho

pizza

barbecue

NACHO SHEET

Blue corn chips (21 per person, 140 calories)

Tostitos cheese dip in mild (2 tbsp per person, 40 calories)

Fire roasted tomatoes (1/4 cup per person, 25 calories)

Taco seasoning on cauliflower rice (1 cup per person, 25 calories)

Bell peppers and onions (1/2 of each per person, >100 calories)

(OPTIONAL) extra virgin olive oil to help bake

salt and pepper, garlic power, and onion powder

BAKE AT 375 UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED

PIZZA SHEET PAN

flatbread (2 per person, 100 calories)

tomato sauce (4 tbsp per person, 70 calories)

light mozzarella cheese (1/2 cup per person, 140 calories)

shredded parm (1/4 cup per person, 110 calories)

lettuce, green bell pepper, and spinach (1/2 cup of each per person, shredded and sautéed, >100 calories)

(OPTIONAL) Oil to help dress

onion power, oregano, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper (optional crushed red pepper)

BAKE AT 275 UNTIL AT DESIRED TEMPERATURE

BARBECUE SHEET

( this makes multiple servings, I haven’t measured it exactly )

2 zucchini squash

2 yellow squash

2 white onions

1 green bell pepper

1 red bell pepper

half a pound of sausage

extra virgin olive oil / spray

salt, pepper, onion, and garlic powder. (You can add your own meat rub onto it for extra kick)

BAKE AT 375 UNTIL ZUCCHINI EDGES HAVE BROWNED AND BECOME CRISPY. FLIP PAN HALFWAY THROUGH COOKING.

[northgazaupdates]

7 February 1024

Journalist Mohammed Ahmed visits the farming sector of Beit Lahiya to review the condition of agriculture in the north Gaza Strip. A full English translation is kindly provided by Instagram user faridaek;

I am here in the Beit Lahia area, at the extreme northwest of Beit Lahia city. Beit Lahia is known as the food basket of North Gaza Strip. Many locals and farmers have reached their farms in the past two days, after the withdrawal of the occupation forces from the area. However, the situation is still dangerous. Upon our arrival at these places, one of the areas was targeted by an F-16 aircraft, very close to the locations where the farmers who had left this land and headed into North Gaza Strip were. Some farmers are still in this area, trying to salvage something from the land. The crops that were planted before this war on the Gaza Strip are mostly carrots, potatoes, and onions, as they are grown in the ground.

Many of these farms were destroyed during the ground invasion and by the incursion of machinery, including the F-16 aircrafts, which spared none of the lands. All the vegetables in this place were damaged; the crops will not reach maturity.

Source: Mohammed Ahmed on Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Moh Ahmed (@moh_ahmed87)

[mariacallous]

My father was a short-order cook, a strictly stovetop kind of guy. Israeli salads and scrambled eggs. I never saw him approach the lower half of the oven, except to clean it within an inch of its life. It would take me until my 30s to realize that he did not grow up with anything like the ovens we had in Canada, and that there wasn’t much in his childhood home to place in a stove. 

He was born in Mandatory Palestine in 1936 to Yemenite parents, who themselves were born in Ottoman Palestine. All four of his grandparents left Yemen in 1881 in what was known as the First Yishuv. 

For my father, an oven was a primus — a portable camping stove that uses kerosene or paraffin oil. As a 12-year-old boy during the 1948 War of Independence, he ate grass and weeds (mostly mallow, known as kubezeh) that he had to forage for himself. So, on balance, his short-order cooking made sense. 

When I grew up and moved to Israel and other new immigrants asked me about my background, my father’s lack of culinary skills became a source of repeated disappointment. 

You must have had tons of jachnun and zhug? 

More like zero. 

I thought you said he was Yemenite. 

My father did put an awful lot of Mexican salsa on everything from spaghetti to chicken, and ate onions like apples for breakfast, but Jewish food for me was Ashkenazi all the way. Well, you can’t go back.

Recently, I introduced a new dialogue project with my EFL (English as a Foreign Language) college students (anything to get them talking). Each student had to film herself discussing her favorite family recipe. I teach in Jerusalem and my students come from a range of backgrounds that include Morocco, Algeria, Syria, Ethiopia, Russia and France. 

Occasionally I have a student with a Yemenite background. This particular student, we’ll call her Shira, introduced her recipe by stressing how often she eats it at home, and how delicious and nutritious it was, particularly for keeping on weight. This made sense as Yemen was (and still is) a very poor country, and many of their recipes are inexpensive and calorie dense, something important in an undernourished population. 

Then, to my amazement, Shira described my father’s “hot cereal” recipe, as I had always called it. He used to mention that his mother made it for him year-round, including on Passover, but I took that to mean it was a family recipe, not a Yemenite Jewish one. 

My father made this for me on the rare winter mornings when he was not off to work before I woke up. I remember the satisfied look on his face as he stirred and stirred groats, tossing out tidbits about his mother and his life in pre-state Israel like rare coins while he watched butter melt into the milk. He wasn’t much of a talker when it came to his past, but perhaps the familiar smell loosened his tongue. 

For a few minutes, I would be drawn into his world of a mother who sold her own saluf (Yemenite flatbread) and zhug to passersby for extra money and chatted in both Arabic and Yiddish, rather than my usual stance, which was “Why can’t he be like all of the other fathers in my Jewish school and pull out the AlphaBits and Fruit Loops?” Nowadays, this recipe is a family favorite, particularly on Passover and if we are having sleepover guests on Shabbat. 

I remember Shira’s surprise when I told her I was familiar with this recipe and thanked her for choosing it as her assignment. Turns out my birthright wasn’t entirely lost to me, it just took me longer than most to realize it. Better late than never. 

Cooking notes 

This recipe is endlessly adaptable:

My kids prefer it with half a cup less water and half a cup more milk. Some people omit the milk, just as they would for oatmeal. 

I’ve seen recipes that add a teaspoon of sugar and margarine instead of butter, though I’ve never tried it. 

On Passover, we substitute crushed matzah for groats or wheat. 

On Shabbat, we bake this mix in a jachnun pot on a low heat (225°F or 100°C) overnight in the oven for cold Saturday mornings, which yields a very soft mixture.

[daphyswitchylibrary]

Imbolc

Imbolc (also sometimes named "Candlemas") happens between the 1st and 2nd of February every year. It marks the midway point between Yule and Ostara, also known as the winter solstice and the spring equinox It celebrates winter coming to an end, to leave space for longer days ahead, and for new things to happen (since nature has been ''dead'' for the last few months, it is now time for it to "rebirth"!) What to do for Imbolc? Cleansing, planning new things and starting new projects is a great idea! Colors for Imbolc are: white, pale yellow, light green, brown, lavender, pink. Wear them, paint them on your nails, put some on your altar! Crystals for Imbolc are: amethyst, selenite, turquoise, ruby, garnet, bloodstone and onyx, peridot, clear quartz, moonstone. Take one with you if you can! Make plans for the upcoming spring! Be it planning your garden or activities/travels you want to do, make a bucket list, anything that has to do with planning something

Bake some bread, or make some soup! Leeks, onions and potatoes are really good during this time. You can even try this potato leek soup for this sabbat!

Have a cleansing bath/shower

Start a gratitude/mood journal! Try to keep it up for the whole year so when Yule comes around again, you can look back on it and reflect on your year. Collect snow for snow water! We won't have snow around for long now at this time of year so take advantage of it!

Start spring cleaning! Start sweeping out the old energies to welcome in the new ones

Divination! Although I always mention it in every post about sabbats, what is special about Imbolc is that some say it's a great sabbat to try new divination methods, or just not use the one you always use. For example, I mostly use tarot cards, but I have Witches Runes that I might prioritize for Imbolc.

Sources: thewitchoftheforest, witchytips and wiccantips on Instagram

[petermorwood]

Mushrooms in Cream Sauce...

...or Pilze in Sahnesoße.

This is for @killerblackberrypie, who went looking for the version on our "European Cusines" site and found the site gone.

@dduane had taken it down for maintenance, a new theme and to take some new photos, but while the site was down it web-provider went belly-up. These things happen.

"European Cuisines" Will Return - just not quite yet.

Our recipe was, ironically, one of the recipes slated for new pics, so while this text is from the site's offline backup (with a couple of tweaks from me, because why not?) photos are sourced from the web.

There are many, many other recipes online; they're mostly in German, but Google Translate handles Rezeptedeutch well enough. I've linked to a couple, which is only fair since I'm using their pix.

You'll also see the French word "champignons" in German recipes as often as German "Pilze"; I don't know whether this indicates a French origin for the recipe, or refers to a specific mushroom, or makes the dish sound more classy.

Here's one: Champignons in Sahnesauce mit Spätzle.

And here's ours...

*****

Pilze in Sahnesoße from European Cuisines.

Contrary to popular belief, Germany is not a vegetable-free zone.

In fact, unless you find yourself buried in some tiny backwater in the Black Forest or someplace similar, Germany is much kinder to both vegetable-lover and vegetarian than a lot of other places. It will be rare to find a menu that doesn't have at least a few vegetarian or at least mostly-vegetable options on it, often far more creative than you might expect.

But leaving aside for the moment the issue of vegetarianism per se, Germans really do like more vegetables than potatoes and cabbage, especially seasonal ones in their prime. Asparagus season, for instance, has its own name: Spargelzeit - "asparagus time".

And mushrooms (all right, not as true veggies, but at least as fungi) turn up as stars in many entreés, especially in dishes meant to be served in the autumn, "Pilzsaison", mushroom season, when the good little creatures are coming up all over in the woods and the supermarkets.

This recipe calls for the mushrooms to be sautéed with onions in bacon fat (the bacon is added later). The pan is then deglazed with white wine, and various spices are added, one of them being paprika, which instantly suggests that this recipe probably sneaked over the border from Austro-Hungary, possibly via the Czech Republic.

Finally the cream and bacon go in.

The result is substantial, surprisingly elegant, and yummy.

This is definitely a recipe for a high-end Hobbit menu: an entrée for anyone who doesn't want their mushrooms upstaged by overly large amounts of meat.

The bacon-fat and bacon CAN be left out completely, making the dish meat-free. Use more butter along with more mushrooms and a red pepper diced small, and add 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika.

*****

INGREDIENTS

NB, we work in metric so that's "correct"; Imperial is converted and "approximate", though it won't make much difference. Just don't combine them or your mushrooms might crash into Mars...

1 kg / 2 lb fresh mushrooms, domesticated or a mixture of wild types to taste

125g / 1/4 pound bacon, diced

60gr 1/4 cup butter or margarine

2 large onions, diced

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/2 teaspoon paprika

60ml / 1/4 cup (or more if needed to deglaze) white wine, preferably a medium or medium-dry one

A pinch of nutmeg

A pinch of mace

250ml / 1 cup heavy cream

The juice of half a medium-sized lemon, strained

2 sprigs of fresh parsley

METHOD

Clean the mushrooms with a soft brush or dry cloth. (Never wash mushrooms.) If they're big, cut them in half.

Fry the bacon in a wok or large pan until lightly browned. Remove the bacon from the pan and set it aside.

Add the butter to the pan drippings. Add the onions; sauté until lightly browned.

Add the mushrooms; cook them until they're tender, stirring often.

When they're tender, raise the heat slightly and stir in the wine, salt, pepper, paprika, nutmeg, and mace. Cover the pan and cook over low heat for 15 minutes.

Remove from the heat. Add the cooked bacon, cream and lemon juice. Reheat until just warm. Do NOT let this mixture boil!!!

Garnish with parsley and serve with noodles, dumplings, mashed potatoes, whole potatoes... And some crusty bread to chase the last of the sauce.

*****

Our original photo used Spätzle, as in the first pic. Ribbon tagliatelle works just fine as well, while here is Saure Pilz-Sahnesoße served alongside Bohemian Dumplings, a long bread dumpling boiled in water or stock then cut into thick slices.

From the same site, here's a simple potato treatment, Pilz-Sahnesoße mit Kartoffeln:

As far as we've been able to make out, the main difference between mushrooms in cream sauce as a main dish, and creamy mushroom sauce for use with something else, is the proportion of mushrooms to everything else, and often the size of pieces into which they're cut. Really small bits are one more ingredient, large generous chunks are much more front and centre.

Ours is definitely a main course, and though we haven't made it for a while, the memory of that last time still makes my Mind Palate go...

Soon. Soon...

[thepringlesofblood]

An Incomplete Collection of Calorum Etymology Shenanigans

A Crown of Candy has a LOT of food puns, and with more presumably on the way with The Ravening War, I don’t think it’s possible to catalogue them all.

However, if we take the ones in plain English as given, (e.g. Oliver Onionpatch is an onion, Primsy Coldbottle is a bottle), that lightens the load significantly enough that a catalogue of Calorum wordplay becomes possible.

This will be a (non-comprehensive) list of characters, place names, and more that have hidden meanings or food-related etymology. If I don’t list who came up with it, it’s the GM of that campaign (Brennan for ACOC, Matt Mercer for TRW)

spoilers for ACOC and TRW, naturally. 

disclaimer: I am not an expert on words, but I do know a lot of weird nerd shit, as well as a decent chunk of ancient Greek and Latin as I’m majoring in classics (the study of the ancient Mediterranean). I might not get everything right, but I’m doing my best. verify your sources, kids

I actually made a post like this before, but it was mostly place names, so I’m sorting this one into categories

Locations

A Crown of Candy

PCs 

NPCs

Etc.

The Ravening War

PCs

NPCs

Etc.

LOCATIONS

Ceresia - this is the one that genuinely impresses me the most. Ceres is the Roman goddess of wheat, the harvest, and agriculture. English has her to thank for the word “cereal”. Each nation is clearly themed for a specific real-world country, with Ceresia being Italy. So, Brennan used the Roman version of the goddess (w the Greek version being Demeter). That’s dope as hell. 


Calorum - you probably can associate this with the word “calorie” but it goes deeper. The word “calorie” refers to the unit of energy, and derives from the Latin calor, caloris meaning “heat” or “warmth”

-orum is the genitive plural in latin - so, calorum lit. translates to “of heat [calories]”, but you could totally translate it as an adjective meaning “made of heat [calories]”

TLDR: the name of the food land is “made of calories” in Latin, that’s AWESOME

Fructera - kind of obvious, but if you want to know the Latin, this is from fructus, fructus which can mean many things, including “produce” “crops” and “fruit”

Dulcington - dulce, dulcis is a word for sweets/a sweet drink in Latin

Sucrosi - sucrose is a main chemical compound in sugar, w the word deriving from the French word for sugar, sucre.

Glucian Road - from glucose, a simple sugar that’s in most living things statistically.

Frucian Road - from fructose, a very similar simple sugar present mostly in fruit. I think it’s kind of cool that the crossroads of the road to Fructera and the road to Candia emphasize the thing they have in common - sugar.

Pangranos - “pan” is bread in several languages, and the “gran” part likely alludes to words derived from “grain,” like “granary.”

then the -os ending recalls ancient Greek naming conventions and grammar (think “Alexandros” or “Mykonos”) many of which carried over into Roman times (though many were also changed to -us for alphabet reasons, hence why we normally see “Patroclus” “Dionysus” and “Hephaestus” instead of the more literal spellings “Patroklos” “Dionysos” and “Hephaistos” it’s a big ol fuckin controversy in ancient Greek translation)

Lacramor - here’s the thing. we all know lactose is in milk (coming from the Latin lac, lactis for milk). but lacrimal means tears, or related to tears (coming from the Latin lacrima, lacrimae for tears).

(update: I went DEEP in the paint on this one, and there’s a protein called lactoferrin that exists in all human secretions (gross) including milk, tears, and saliva. intriguing…)


(updatier update: fuck. he probably just meant amor like Spanish & Latin for “love” so the milk city is called “love of milk.”)

Carn - a more obvious one, especially if you speak Spanish or any of the other romance languages that use this word - carnis, carnis in Latin and carne in Spanish mean “meat”

Uvano - they’re. they’re grapes. and. uva is grape. both in Latin and Spanish. nice one

Comida - the Spanish word for food. it will forever irritate me that they pronounce it like it’s an English word (COM-ih-duh) not the Spanish word that it is (coh-MEE-da) but it makes sense - Brennan mentioned in a

n interview that it’s an allusion to how colonizers (specifically the English) would bastardize local place names until the original pronunciation is lost.

The Verduran Forest - straight up a location from pathfinder. also, “verdure” is an English word meaning “growing vegetation”, or the color of it, or the condition of health and liveliness it implies. comes from old French verd (green) by way of Latin viridis (green). Spanish also has a hand on this ball with verde (green).

The Sangre - Blood! sangre is blood. In Spanish. And French.

Gristlemar - “mar” is a Latin root used in a lot of things to mean the ocean (deriving from mare, maris = sea/ocean), so it’s a sea of gristle. gross! I love it!

Saprophus - likely either from “saprophyte”, something that feeds off the dead, or “saprophagus”, an adjective meaning “feeding on decaying matter”

Greek roots!

sapros- = rotten, putrid

-phyton = plant/“that which is grown”

-phagos = eat/consume 

A CROWN OF CANDY

PCs

The Rocks Family - One thing that’s not Latin exactly but is really cool is that almost everyone in the Rocks family is named after an actual rock - like, a gemstone - and most of them are rock candy (or of course poprocks in Amethar’s case)

Archmage Lazuli - pretty obvious, lapis lazuli is a beautiful blue gemstone

Sister Citrina - citrine is a yellow gemstone

Princess Sapphria - sapphires are usually blue but can come in a bunch of other colors which i didn’t know! fun fact

King Jadain - jade - a lovely green gemstone

King Amethar - amethyst - p obvious, he’s purple and all (credit to Lou!)

Princess/Bastard Ruby - i don’t have to explain this one to you (credit to Siobhan!)

Princess/Bastard Jet - I was surprised to find out that Jet is actually a type of lignite - it’s like coal, but so compressed it becomes a gemstone. hence the phrase “jet-black” (credit to Emily!)

the exceptions to this are Cumulous (which like, that’s a cloud and he’s a cotton candy man, makes total sense) and General Rococoa - I can’t fault Brennan for the pun there, and technically Rococo is a style of jewelry (among other things) that can include a lot of different gemstones so there’s a loose connection there.

Queen Pamelia Rocks was Fructeran and from House Pomegrana originally so like. she gets a pass from the rock puns.

however...you ever wondered why its “Pamelia” instead of the way more common “Pamela”? they actually changed it in TRW so that “Pamela” is one of her nicknames bc straight up no one calls her Pamelia at the table.

2 thoughts, one more likely than the other

1. this is Brennan making fun of George RR Martin for minutely altering a common name to make a Fantasy Name, which he’s done before, e.g. Belizabeth, Bonathan.

2. the ancient Greek μέλι, μέλιτος (meli, melitos) and the Latin mel, mellis both mean “honey” or, when used as an adjective, “sweet”, usually translated as “honey-sweet”, famously the adjective used to describe the pomegranate seed that Hades gives Persephone. hehe pomegranate

so. th.there’s strength in sweetness amiright fellas?

update: thank you to @trans-leek-cookie for the info that "pomegranate” and “garnet” share a few root words! in fact, it’s possible that the gemstone was named because of its resemblance to the fruit!

pomegranate etymology

Latin granatus, granata, granatum = an adjective meaning “containing many seeds”, used in conjunction with pomum (fruit) to mean “pomegranate”, which later leads to:

Medieval Latin granatum, granati = pomegranate (a fruit with many seeds in it)

garnet etymology

Old French grenate, gernatte, granate = garnet/of a dark red color

which comes from the same Medieval Latin granatum used as an adjective to describe something dark red like a pomegranate seed

conclusion: you are not immune to rock puns just bc you’re a fruit

Chancellor Lapin Cadbury - bet you didn’t think this was anything, right? Lapin is the French word for rabbit. Hence, why it’s pronounced la-PAN not LAP-in. And of course Cadbury, like the chocolate brand that is primarily famous for its eggs & rabbits & easter stuff. (credit to Zac!)

Sir Theobald Gumbar - as far as I can tell, the only funny bit here is the whole gummy bear = gumbar bit. I will say that he is a knight of North Gumbia, which is likely a reference to Northumbria, a medieval Anglo-Saxon kingdom. (credit to Murph!)

update: thank you to @sanguidge​ for pointing out the Theo - Theodore - Teddy - teddy bear connection! to borrow Gooey’s words, Sir Theo is in fact a big soft squishy bear. 

Liam Wilhemina - Wilhemina is a brand of peppermint from the Netherlands ^v^ (credit to Ally!)

Queen Saccharina Frostwhip - references the word “saccharine” meaning “overly sweet” from the Latin saccharum meaning “sugar” (credit to Emily!)

Cumulous Rocks - we mentioned it earlier, but “cumulous” refers to a kind of cloud that is very puffy and fluffy and white and looks, tbh, like white cotton candy. hell yeah. (credit to Zac!)

NPCs

Commander Constano Grissini - grissini is literally the Italian word for breadsticks (not the big soft olive garden ones, the thin crispy ones). Constano is a very ancient Roman name, which fits.

Pontifex Belizabeth Brassica - refers to the genus (Brassica oleracera) that broccoli belongs to
, and “Pontifex” is a Roman title, given to basically a high priest who is the political and religious power and representation of the gods will - they’re the ones who make sure everyone’s worshipping the right way, sort of like the pope but for ancient Rome.

Basha Myaso - myaso is Russian for meat, though the Meatlands are supposedly based off of ancient Celts. Much like with Belizabeth & Bonathan, Brennan likes to change one letter of a common name to make fun of George RR Martin. This could easily be him changing “Sasha” to “Basha”

Sir Keradin Deeproot- that fuckin carrot. so you’re probably thinking huh that sounds like keratin, the stuff our hair and fingernails are made out of, right? guess what. “keratin” and “carrot” share a common root word - keras, the Greek word for “horn” that’s a DEEP cut, brennan. 


Dracoria Azucar (aka Cinnamon) - azúcar is Spanish for “sugar” which is cool bc Cinnamon is inspired by Mexican hot chocolate. then draco = dragon in Latin, like the constellation

Spearia Mentha - its spearmint. mentha = the genus for the mint plant.

this one’s a stretch and probably not intended but just for funsies: mentha is from the Greek μίνθα, which comes from an interesting not very well-known myth about a nymph/naiad named Minthe.

nymphs and naiads are representations of nature, naiads being spirits of water and other nymphs represent trees, plants, and other organisms in nature, which to me really evokes Spearia’s whole vibe. there’s other stuff with Minthe and non-monogamy but not in a particularly positive way :/

ETC.

“Senator” and “Imperator” being used for Ceresia parallel the Roman system of government - as does the country swinging b/w ineffective democracy and destructive imperatorship lol.

Plus Senator Ciabatta being a war hero turned senator who then got popular enough to make himself emperor/tyrant/imperator is extremely Roman - that shit happens ALL THE TIME in ancient Roman history.

This might be nothing, but I think it’s funny that the Concord was founded by a grape. You know, like Concord grapes?

update: like a year after posting this I finally figured out what the Ramsian Doctrine and the Prophidian Heresy are from. 

“Ramsian” is a reference to Gordon Ramsey, a popular TV chef who famously promotes the use of fresh, farm-to-table ingredients.

“Prophidian” is a shortening of “pro-ophidian”, with “ophidian” meaning “snake-like” or “relating to snakes”. The Christian devil is often represented as a snake, due to the myth of the Garden of Eden, and the Hungry One is Calorum’s version of the devil, so it’s basically “pro-Hungry One” because the Prophidian Heresy states that the Hungry One is as powerful as the bulb.

(personally I’ve always thought snakes got the short end of the stick here, they’re very chill and interesting creatures and the whole devil iconography thing kind of ruined their reputation. I am personally Prophidian in that I am pro-snakes. snake rights!)

update: forgot about the unused backup PCs lol

Sir Amanda Maillard - the Maillard reaction is the name for the reaction food does when in contact with heat where it gets crispy and good - like smores, like she is. 10/10 (credit to Ally!)

Bitternight Darknibs - since her thing is she sold her sugar for power and is thus unsweetened cacao, the “darkness” theming alludes to how we rate chocolate according to how “dark” it is based on how much sugar and milk is added.

chocolate with 0 sugar (aka baking chocolate) is “100% dark” and is not good to eat with your mouth, being very bitter. hence, “bitter” “night” and “dark”

“nibs” alludes to chocolate in an less processed form - cocoa beans get roasted and cracked open to create “nibs”, which get ground up and melted and separated and recombined and things are added to make chocolate (this is where it makes a difference how much sugar you add). (credit to Siobhan!)

Murdo Brer - our molasses necromancer has “Brer” most likely as a reference to the brand Brer Rabbit Molasses. the fact that he’s a necromancer who lives in a swamp is also interesting to me. (credit to Lou!)

cw: discussion of dead bodies, enbalming, & mummies in the links

swamps are extremely good at preserving dead things, which is a little like necromancy, which I think is cool.

for some reason I had it in my head that putting a dead body in molasses preserves it really well, but when I went to get sources I couldn’t find shit. maybe I was conflating the great molasses flood with how honey has historically been used in enbalming? lmk if you know what I’m thinking of, I was like fully convinced of this fact until I went to find info on it.

murph’s bubblegum monster wasn’t named sadly :/

THE RAVENING WAR

PCs (I went through some of this in another post but that was in reaction to the trailer before episodes started actually coming out lol)

Colin Provolone - Provolone is a kind of cheese. Colin is a name of Irish/Scottish origin. It’s nice to have one simple one. I will say I’ve seen several people point out that provolone goes really well on a pastrami rueben (which our boy below is!) so that’s fun! (credit to Zac!)

Thane Delissandro Katzon - Thank you @blueaerin (among many others) for your post about how this is most likely a reference to Katz’s Delicatessan, a famous deli in NYC! I never would’ve know that. I’m also told they specialize in pastrami rueben on rye, which we now know is what Deli is, since Lou’s description in the first episode! Then we have “thane”, which in Anglo-Saxon culture, is a title of a landowner, specifically someone who was gifted land by a king. y’all who read Macbeth know this one! (credit to Lou!)

Bishop Raphaniel Charlock - the scientific name for wild radish is Raphanus raphanistrum, so that’s probably where Raphaniel came from. wild radish has two other names - “jointed charlock” and “white charlock”. So there we go. Your typical red radish (as Brennan described his character to look like) is a subspecies of Raphanus raphanistrum called sativus. but! even MORE interesting! you know what order and family radishes are in? the order Brassicales in the family Brassicaceae! This could be 100% unintentional, there’s a LOT of vegetables in the family Brassicaceae, but I remain optimistic. also thanks to @tenoroutoften for the info that Raphael Warnock is a senator & religious leader in Georgia rn! (credit to Brennan!)

Lady Amangeaux Epiceé du Peche - She is a mango! French for mango = la mangue. Amangeaux  = sounds like “a mango”, and does contain the French word for “I eat” (mange). Epiceé  = spicy (can be used as slang for y’know. spICY) and du Peche = of peach (her house prior to marrying King Cardoon) (credit to Anjali!)

Karna Solara - we know now (thanks @quiddie!) that “Karna” refers to her being a Carolina Reaper pepper! For her last name, chili peppers do come from the order Solanales in the family Solanaceae. there’s also solar -> sun, which makes for some interesting implications, given that generally The Bulb = the sun and her power is extremely not Bulbian. lots of fun sun imagery this campaign! (credit to Aabria!)

NPCs

King Arthur Cardoon - Cynara cardunculus, also known as the artichoke thistle or the cardoon, is a flowering plant from which the artichoke is cultivated. people eat cardoons too though.

also, his name being Arthur could be an allusion to his wife being unfaithful (see: the whole Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot love triangle of Arthurian legend), as well as being alliterative with the word “artichoke” itself.

Ja’Crudite/Jacques Crudites - it’s spelled both ways in the subtitles in different episodes. Crudités = French appetizers that are mostly raw vegetables, sometimes sliced or cut, usually with dip. Carrots feature prominently, but usually as carrot sticks, not the whole carrot, in an interesting departure from other carrot-based characters in Calorum. Also interesting since carrots are traditionally Vegetanian and his French name implies that he’s Fructeran.

if it is “Ja’Crudite”, it’s probably a pun off of the phrase “J’accuse!” which is French for “I accuse!”

Dammit, now I’m curious - does Ja’Crudite have “hair” (leaves) like Keradin and the infamous zealot from TRW e5, if he’s a carrot stick rather than a full carrot?

Senator Enzo Carbano, Tribune of the Fusilli

Enzo - Italian name

at first I was like ‘wait is that a pasta?’ nope I was thinking of orzo

Carbano - likely derived from pasta carbonara, or from “carbohydrates” in general.

Fusili - a twisty noodle. Not famous for carbonara but you can very much use it that way

Tribune - another ancient Roman government title. typically, a tribune is a representative of the plebeians, sometimes from a specific area. It’s usually a way lower ranking role than senator, mostly bc it was one of the only ways a plebeian could get into goverment. seems like they combined it so each senator gets a little area to rule over represent - v cool!

Senator Ariana Gemelli, Tribune of Triscutia

Ariana - Greco-Roman name

Gemelli - another fun twisty pasta

Triscutia - could be referring to Triscuits. if you’re wondering about the Latin, a scutum is a kind of shield, so with the tri- bit, maybe thrice-shielded? I think it’s the Triscuits.

Sir Allium Goldring, Knight of the Burning Basket - I included the burning basket bit bc it implies an order of deep-fried veggie knights, which is hilarious. “Allium” is the name for a genus of plants including onions, garlic, shallots, leeks, chives, etc.

If you’re thinking “but wait, isn’t that a flower?” you are correct, another name for the allium flower is “ornamental onion”. it’s one of those classifications that applies to a bajillion things, like Brassica.

ETC.

they don’t mention “Pontifex” as a religious title in the ravening war.

The highest ranking Bulbian church official we run into is the Archbishop Camille Colliflour. Which is interesting, considering that we run into a whole bunch of Archbishops in ACOC (Alfredi, Onionpatch, Radicca Rutabaga who you probably forgot about), all of who seem to be high-ranking but nowhere near the level of the Pontifex

But what’s interesting about that, is. “Pontifex” is a very Roman title. and the church doesn’t start using until a. they grow more powerful and b. Vegetania allies with Ceresia under Imperator Focaccia during the war. So it’s a Roman loan-word bc Ceresia = Rome = Empire. fuck dude.

update: thank you to @trans-leek-cookie for pointing out a brief mention of the Pontifex in ep 1!

Colliflour mentions consulting the Pontifex about Tomaté’s claim to the throne, and Tomaté himself mentions the “plight of the Pontifex and his followers” earlier on in the episode while talking to Raphaniel.

so there is a Pontifex, but we know extremely little about him, except that he is a him, and doesn’t seem to be very involved in the goings-on of the Ravening War. it probably became a more important position post-war as the Bulbian church rose to power.

update: forgot about backup PCs lol 

Lady Melys of House Manuka - like I said before, the ancient Greek μέλι, μέλιτος (meli, melitos) and the Latin mel, mellis both mean “honey”, and manuka honey is a special type of honey from the manuka (or mānuka) tree in New Zealand. mānuka is a Māori word, hell yeah, break the chokehold that romance languages have on food puns! (credit to Aabria!)

Zhyr Kaban - another rebel against romance languages, in the BTS Brennan mentions that this means ‘boar fat’ in Ukrainian (жир кабан), and as far as I can tell, he’s right! dope. Also more evidence for the Meatlands being based in Eastern European & Russian culture as well as the ancient Celtic and Anglo-Saxon tribes Brennan ususally lists as inspiration - an interesting combo. (credit to Brennan!)

Kahfeer Activian Balfour - “kefir” is a kind of probiotic yogurt drink (though pronounced like keh-FEER), and he a yogurt man. in the BTS Lou mentions they weren’t sure if he could be named Activia like the yogurt brand, so they had a backup last name “Balfour”, which may allude to Balfour farm dairy in Maine, which sells yogurt and cheeses (though not kefir). (credit to Lou!)

Granny Pom and Flaky Smuthers are pretty straightforward etymologically speaking, though excellent names in their own right of course. (credit to Anjali and Zac!)

hmu if you can think of any other fun ones or if i fucked up anything or if any of the links are busted on this monster of a post lol