#soup the bard

[wingsofahoneybee]

been playing a lot of baldur's gate 3 so here's soup. you have to pay attention to him or he'll cry

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 110

Okay so we all know about how Regis told Dandelion in the books that his blood smelled nice, which was most likely about how none of his wounds were infected and whatnot, but what if it wasn't? What if Jaskier has a special type of blood, whether magically made, cursed, or perhaps just o- or some shit lmfao Either way, Vampires LOVE this shit. Their favorite delicacy when they choose to partake. This becomes a problem when Jaskier has a hurt foot and Geralt takes him to a medic. A vampire, whether the medic, the medic's assistant, or just someone lurking outside who caught a whiff of the blood, is like "Jackpot!" and tells all his little vampire friends, and now they're hosting a big feast just to drain this guy. But it's such a delicacy, the vampire decides maybe they should only drain him a little, so he can keep the human around, so the human can regain his blood, and they can drink from him AGAIN! Oh yes, marvelous! He throws the best parties! Jaskier wakes up with a horrible headache. He's dressed incredibly fancy, though he doesn't think these are his clothes- Speaking of which, he also doesn't think this is his room at the inn... Is he- Is he fucking chained to a dining table? "Let the buffet begin! I hope you're thirsty my friends!~" Fuck. He hopes Geralt gets here quick-

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

will you lie awake tonight?

[oxventurequotes]

cressida: i’m hoping to get some answers there

happen: are you also hoping to get some appropriate shoes?

[potpourrifandoms]

I saw someone somewhere saying that it was impossible to make an attractive male githyanki in BG3, so I decided to try it for myself. I only meant to open the character creator, but I accidentally got attached, and now I'm having fun watching all the tieflings in the grove react with abject horror at my approach.

His name is Vanic, which I got from the fantasy names generator page for githyanki. It's cute because it rhymes with manic and panic, both of which are things he is prone to. He gets into disagreements with Lae'zel a lot because she wants to be gruff and mean, but he has fun telling the tiefling children he's a swamp elf or asking refugees what cats are instead of looking for the crèche.

[thelostgirl21]

Okay, I've just gotta say though...

Imagine that you think you've fallen in love with some evil mastermind that only ever pretended to love you to gain power for himself!

Then, shortly after, you hear some sniffling coming from the corner of a room while searching for your family, and randomly find said "evil mastermind" looking like this:

Radovid's main casting requirement: being able to look so small, vulnerable, soft, lost, and hurt, that it'll have some members of the audience yelling "Jaskier, you better fix this right now, you big meanie! Or I'll never forgive you!" at their screen!

Basically,

Me, before season 3: "I don't think I'll ever be able to feel as protective of any character in any TV show ever as I do of Jaskier."

Radovid: "Hold my wine bottle, I've got this!"

Me, after season 3: "I now have this strange urge to throttle that bard if he ever hurts that one again... What the fuck is going on?"

[zhinchino]

Emergency stash ‼️‼️ Bard randy silly thought ayayayay

hes boiling them 🤤🤤🤤🤤 (im legit fasting,,,,,, this stuff is making me so hungry wtffff 😭😭😭😭😔😔😔😔)

[lanternlightss]

bats my eyelashes and leans against a table. what are your guys’ favorite bardven headcanons ?

[fishnoodles]

hows a guy this so vampire coded yet not a vampire. he can't keep getting away with this

[wyrmofworms]

Dnd OC I got to use ONCE.

I love DND. I LOVE IT I SWEAR (pained)

[wingsofahoneybee]

uhhh hi yeah i dont have an explanation for this one. enjoy ur hot soup

[elven-nightmares]

Dragging myself in to post more art of my OCs hehe

This time it's my Half-Elf Rogue/Bard, Robert!

Reference is by @mellon-soup!

(he/him)

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

sona drawing lmao (did a huge sketchbook batch earlier today but i dont like posting trad art)

hes a bard,, ,the worst one, even

[primordialsoupvendor]

FINALLY some chef mage representation!! we are underapreciated in our time.

Further new discoveries have been made on my theory.

[terra-phantasia]

Muses

Traditional Fantasy

Name: Hedgie, The Hedge Witch, Guardian of the Forest

Former name: Blodwyn

Age: ?

Race: Fey-Eladrin

Class: Druid

An ancient Druid that has taken up the mantle of Guardian of an even more ancient forest after defeating the great evil lurking there centuries ago. She reigns as the protector of said forest, living in harmony with all its creatures and ensuring that the local villages are taught to maintain the balance.

She can be quite mischievous and isn’t the most experienced in dealing with social interactions beyond those seeking her out for knowledge or aid, leading to her not entirely understanding human social cues. Despite this, she is incredibly social.

As is fey tradition, Hedgie often dons a glamour of an old crone draped in dirt and moss for first meetings and strangers to determine how much kindness they bear in their hearts. She also, much like her fey brethren, doesn’t hesitate to grant boons or curses based upon the treatment she receives. Unlike her brethren however, her curses are often mild and release once the lesson has been properly learned. Because of this, a dear wizard friend of hers will often send apprentices to test their mettle and keep their ego in check.

Name: Markus

Age: 30

Race: Half Orc

Class: College of Swords Bard

A jovial half orc with a love of performance and making a dang good soup, Markus’s past is one of mystery. After losing his memories during his coming of age rite, Markus returned to his village to find it wiped clean from the world in a catastrophic natural disaster. A lone survivor, an old man taking his last breaths, told Markus his name and what little he could about Markus before passing. Markus now travels the world as a man, hoping to discover the truth of what happened to his family or perhaps find happiness in a new tribe.

Markus is a kind person, quick to laugh and offer his help to any in aid. He is quite the skilled soup maker and carries a magical pouch of seasonings that constantly replenish.

He also managed to attend a Bard’s College, where his skills and prowess with a halberd was discovered as well as his love of performing with it. He will occasionally put on sword dancing shows with his halberd, using the magics he learned to create magnificent light shows with its spinning. He carries his halberg on his back.

Steam/diesel Punk + Fantasy

Name: Evangeline Flamegrinder

Age: 25

Race: Human

Class: Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer

A spunky human with dragon’s fire in her veins, when Evangeline isn’t helping her dad in their machine shop with their many gadgets and gizmos, she’s manning the noodle restaurant up front.

Her powers come directly from her father, manifesting when she was a child after horrific explosion in the machine shop mangled her right leg and covered the left side of her face and torso in terrible burns. Her leg was eventually amputated and she was left scarred but now incredibly resistant to fire. She now uses a prosthetic leg made by her father, and looks for adventure where she can find it in hopes of collecting enough money to not burden him with its upkeep.

She’s a bit of a pyromaniac and can be often found tinkering on various gadgets and explosives of her own creation. She also has a terrible tendency to hide bombs infused with her dragon’s fire in her tops, using the illusion of being well endowed to get away with sneaking her bombs.