#soup the bard

[wingsofahoneybee]

been playing a lot of baldur's gate 3 so here's soup. you have to pay attention to him or he'll cry

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[oxventurequotes]

cressida: i’m hoping to get some answers there

happen: are you also hoping to get some appropriate shoes?

[potpourrifandoms]

I saw someone somewhere saying that it was impossible to make an attractive male githyanki in BG3, so I decided to try it for myself. I only meant to open the character creator, but I accidentally got attached, and now I'm having fun watching all the tieflings in the grove react with abject horror at my approach.

His name is Vanic, which I got from the fantasy names generator page for githyanki. It's cute because it rhymes with manic and panic, both of which are things he is prone to. He gets into disagreements with Lae'zel a lot because she wants to be gruff and mean, but he has fun telling the tiefling children he's a swamp elf or asking refugees what cats are instead of looking for the crèche.

[lanternlightss]

bats my eyelashes and leans against a table. what are your guys’ favorite bardven headcanons ?

[fishnoodles]

hows a guy this so vampire coded yet not a vampire. he can't keep getting away with this

[wyrmofworms]

Dnd OC I got to use ONCE.

I love DND. I LOVE IT I SWEAR (pained)

[wingsofahoneybee]

uhhh hi yeah i dont have an explanation for this one. enjoy ur hot soup

[elven-nightmares]

Dragging myself in to post more art of my OCs hehe

This time it's my Half-Elf Rogue/Bard, Robert!

Reference is by @mellon-soup!

(he/him)

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

sona drawing lmao (did a huge sketchbook batch earlier today but i dont like posting trad art)

hes a bard,, ,the worst one, even

[primordialsoupvendor]

FINALLY some chef mage representation!! we are underapreciated in our time.

Further new discoveries have been made on my theory.

[terra-phantasia]

Muses

Traditional Fantasy

Name: Hedgie, The Hedge Witch, Guardian of the Forest

Former name: Blodwyn

Age: ?

Race: Fey-Eladrin

Class: Druid

An ancient Druid that has taken up the mantle of Guardian of an even more ancient forest after defeating the great evil lurking there centuries ago. She reigns as the protector of said forest, living in harmony with all its creatures and ensuring that the local villages are taught to maintain the balance.

She can be quite mischievous and isn’t the most experienced in dealing with social interactions beyond those seeking her out for knowledge or aid, leading to her not entirely understanding human social cues. Despite this, she is incredibly social.

As is fey tradition, Hedgie often dons a glamour of an old crone draped in dirt and moss for first meetings and strangers to determine how much kindness they bear in their hearts. She also, much like her fey brethren, doesn’t hesitate to grant boons or curses based upon the treatment she receives. Unlike her brethren however, her curses are often mild and release once the lesson has been properly learned. Because of this, a dear wizard friend of hers will often send apprentices to test their mettle and keep their ego in check.

Name: Markus

Age: 30

Race: Half Orc

Class: College of Swords Bard

A jovial half orc with a love of performance and making a dang good soup, Markus’s past is one of mystery. After losing his memories during his coming of age rite, Markus returned to his village to find it wiped clean from the world in a catastrophic natural disaster. A lone survivor, an old man taking his last breaths, told Markus his name and what little he could about Markus before passing. Markus now travels the world as a man, hoping to discover the truth of what happened to his family or perhaps find happiness in a new tribe.

Markus is a kind person, quick to laugh and offer his help to any in aid. He is quite the skilled soup maker and carries a magical pouch of seasonings that constantly replenish.

He also managed to attend a Bard’s College, where his skills and prowess with a halberd was discovered as well as his love of performing with it. He will occasionally put on sword dancing shows with his halberd, using the magics he learned to create magnificent light shows with its spinning. He carries his halberg on his back.

Steam/diesel Punk + Fantasy

Name: Evangeline Flamegrinder

Age: 25

Race: Human

Class: Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer

A spunky human with dragon’s fire in her veins, when Evangeline isn’t helping her dad in their machine shop with their many gadgets and gizmos, she’s manning the noodle restaurant up front.

Her powers come directly from her father, manifesting when she was a child after horrific explosion in the machine shop mangled her right leg and covered the left side of her face and torso in terrible burns. Her leg was eventually amputated and she was left scarred but now incredibly resistant to fire. She now uses a prosthetic leg made by her father, and looks for adventure where she can find it in hopes of collecting enough money to not burden him with its upkeep.

She’s a bit of a pyromaniac and can be often found tinkering on various gadgets and explosives of her own creation. She also has a terrible tendency to hide bombs infused with her dragon’s fire in her tops, using the illusion of being well endowed to get away with sneaking her bombs.

[aphilosopherchair]

Bard's Dark Forest Cuisine

Soon to be dramatized. Spoiler alert.

Black Forest cake. This is a rich and decadent chocolate cake that is filled with cherries and whipped cream. The dark color of the cake is a symbol of the dark forest, while the cherries represent the stars.

Shrimp cocktail. This is a classic appetizer that is made with shrimp that are cooked in a cocktail sauce. The shrimp represent the civilizations that are hiding in the dark forest, while the cocktail sauce represents the fear and paranoia that exists between them.

Oysters Rockefeller. These are oysters that are topped with a creamy sauce that is made with spinach, bacon, and Parmesan cheese. The oysters represent the civilizations that are trying to survive in the dark forest, while the sauce represents the hope and determination that they have for the future.

Black bean soup. This is a hearty and flavorful soup that is made with black beans, tomatoes, onions, and garlic. The black color of the soup is a symbol of the dark forest, while the beans represent the civilizations that are trying to survive in it.

Take the AI definitions with a pinch of Himalayan black salt, however. Numerous variants of a dish often exist. With that in mind, bon appétit.

[welcomingdisaster]

Coronations of the High Kings of the Noldor, ranked from best to worst

Finwë: The perfectly jovial ceremony was held on the hill of Túna, and consisted of eight uninterrupted hours of dancing, artistic performances from each of the three peoples of the Eldar. Dinner included salmon served with rice, spiced crab, baked leek-pie, herb and garlic bread, green tea mousse, candied flower preserves, and, most memorably of all, a scale-model recreation of the blessed isles made out of strawberry cake with sweet cream and real gold dust.

Gil-galad: the last king of the Noldor had no official coronation ceremony until after the War of Wrath, though he held political power in the area long before. This, perhaps, contributes to some confusion about his origins. Regardless I am pleased to report the ceremony was gorgeous. Most notable were the flower-arches, made in the Sindar style. Strong Falathrim brandy was served, and the party continued for nearly three days. Dinner included stuffed mussels, Nargothrond-style garlic mushroom bake, rice-stuffed squash, sugar-bread, apple and pear pie. One wedding spontaneously occurred during the after-party reception.

Fingolfin: this coronation symbolized the reunion of a broken people and the successful journey of the Noldor, and so the rather lackluster decor was saved, in part, by good mood. However, Feanorian heckling was somewhat disruptive during the main ceremony. Dinner: herb-roasted venison, root-stew, a dish made of wild spring plants that would later become known as 'crown salad;' raspberry and rhubarb pie. Maglor the bard performed Rumil's "Ode to the Stars of the Sea" and "Sparrow Waltz," which was his own composition.

Turgon: Those in attendance report that the ceremony was lovely and somber; your humble writer, however, was not at the time a resident of Gondolin, and must thus rely on second-hand accounts. Dinner, from those reports, included pearled barley with mushrooms; the last bottles of wine grown in Vinyamar were served. No one could remember the music.

Fingon: though the ceremony was otherwise beautiful, the king's speech set an unhappy mood. After the flautists and harpers quieted, he rose to give a toast in the name of Aegnor and Angrod, his cousins. After uttering their names the king began to weep, and could not master himself in time to finish his words, sitting for some time with his head buried in his hands. Dinner: wine-roasted lamb, herb-bread, potato-flour patties, fish-soup with rice, honey-cake and strawberry preserves. Much wine was served, but for the most part brought little merriment, and I admit I cannot recall its quality.

Maedhros: the coronation of Maedhros, the eldest son of Fëanor, was a quick affair. In attendance were his brothers, and their followers, and though Maglor the bard sang it was a song of sorrow, the words of which have never been put to the page. Dinner: salt-meat, waybread, local herbs, and the last of the spirits.

Fëanor: rather eclipsed by the oath sworn later the same afternoon. No dinner nor reception was held, which I fear was in very poor taste.

[thelostgirl21]

Radovid is basically the fandom made flesh, whose ultimate purpose in life is to appreciate and love Jaskier the way we all wish we could make sure he's loved and appreciated.

Radovid is the most relatable character this season because I too am immediately distracted and smitten every time Jaskier appears.

[wingsofahoneybee]

baby bowl of soup