#so perhaps I have it mixed up
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text

I saw someone somewhere saying that it was impossible to make an attractive male githyanki in BG3, so I decided to try it for myself. I only meant to open the character creator, but I accidentally got attached, and now I'm having fun watching all the tieflings in the grove react with abject horror at my approach.
His name is Vanic, which I got from the fantasy names generator page for githyanki. It's cute because it rhymes with manic and panic, both of which are things he is prone to. He gets into disagreements with Lae'zel a lot because she wants to be gruff and mean, but he has fun telling the tiefling children he's a swamp elf or asking refugees what cats are instead of looking for the crèche.
#gracie plays#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 tav#githyanki#art#my art#traditional art#I love his stupid ears and his anime boy hair and his long spindley scarecrow-lookin' arms and legs#the little old soup tiefling offered him soup and he said it was a delicacy and she liked his attitude#he does enjoy intimidating people every now and then#but he's a barbarian and I've never played one before#my main save is a Dark Urge gnome bard lmao#Vanic is not dark urge but says some of the lines that I think are supposed to be dark urge lines#which coincidentally my d.u. bard never said#so perhaps I have it mixed up#either way#Vanic is a good boi and I love him <3#have an awesome day!! xoxo
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Great news for uninsured adults in the USA who want a COVID-19 booster! It now appears that ALL CVS locations are now active participants in the Bridge Access Program. The Bridge Access Program gives out free Covid-19 vaccinations to 18+ adults who otherwise can't afford one, so if you have a CVS near you, please go get one! For others who don't have a CVS near them, please go to vaccines.gov, click on "Find Covid-19 vaccines", fill out which vaccines you prefer (you can mix different vaccines if you have to so i reccomend just marking all of them for the age groups you need), and when the next page loads mark the "Bridge Access Program Participant" option to see only locations that are Bridge Access Program participants. Hopefully, other places that aren't CVS will start participating soon, so just check back every so often to see if there are any updates. The CDC Bridge Access Program website also has more details on what locations will be participating, but only CVS is appearing as an active participant on the vaccines.gov location finder at the moment.
#covid19#covid#coronavirus#vaccines#covid vaccine#bridge access program#CDC#signal boost#please share#coronavirus vaccine#covid19 vaccine#covid 19 vaccine#novavax#moderna#pfizer#also interesting side note but i havent been able to find any vaccine other than novavax near me#perhaps this is just a regional thing or maybe novavax is cheaper to make so those are the most common?#anyway thats why i made sure to tell people its okay to mix up because im going to have to bc i got moderna every other time lol#mayyybe other vaccines will become available in the future??? but ive had close family catch covid left and right so im not waiting#also does anyone know why the bridge program only bridges access to 18 or older individuals?#like i knew the gov didnt care about children but god damn lmao
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
Another idea to do with this post I made;
They aren't raised together. The deal between Shiva and David is still intact when they're born, and when Shiva ends up having 3 kids, it presents a perfect opportunity for David Cain to put in a proper experiment with these kids. He takes Cass, raises her as he did in canon, and tells Shiva to raise Tim how she sees fit, and then they give Jason to a struggling couple in Gotham city, just to see if their genetics really do create the perfect child assassins, or if they have to foster the ability into them, and who's better at it.
Tim and Cass end up meeting when they're around 5 or 6, and they end up fighting then, too. It's a pretty even fight, all things considered, but eventually Cass ends up with a knife to Tim's throat, and Tim ends up with two daggers pointed from behind Cass's head and their parents decide to stop things there.
Jason, meanwhile, is being raised just as he was in canon. His dad gets arrested around this time, and he's left alone with his mother, completely clueless to his siblings currently battling it out in a different continent.
David forces Cass to kill when they're 8, and it fucks Cass up. She ends up hunting Tim and Shiva down, and while she still hasn't figured out talking, Tim is able to get that something bad just happened, and they have to go now. So, they run off together and end up in Gotham about 2 years later.
They're 10 when they run into Jason, who immediately gets freaked out because he and Tim look literally identical, but there are a few basic differences, and Cass just looks like them if they were a girl. Jason, newly homeless after his mother's death a few months before, shows Tim and Cass the basics of Gotham, and in exchange, Tim and Cass show Jason how to handle being homeless (and how to fight properly)
Tim and Cass technically can speak English, Tim moreso, but it's definitely not a perfected thing, and Jason becomes a sort of translator for them.
When Jason ends up stealing Batman's tires 2 years later, he runs to get back to Cass and Tim, who are admittedly and annoyingly better at fighting than him. Bruce obviously follows him, and when he stumbles across 3 kids who look a hell of a lot like Lady Shiva, he just has to take them home.
(Other post on this AU)
#i imagine dick coming home and catching sight of jason in the kitchen and immediately walking away so he can find bruce#only to find a carbon copy of the kid he just saw sitting in the living room with a plate of toast#he turns around and another child who looks eerily similar is just standing at the top of the stairs#he quite literally screams bloody murder#he is happy to have siblings eventually but holy shit did they have to do that??#bruce contacts shiva a few days later and just goes “out of curiosity do you perhaps have 3 children unaccounted for?”#cass tim and jason scare the shit out of everyone they meet#it takes a while for people to learn how to tell jason and tim apart#even then its not a sure science because those little shits have and will gaslight anyone who mixes them up#cass is the only person who is never fooled#tim drake#jason todd#cassandra cain#batman and robin#batfamily#batfam#dc#lady shiva#david cain#shit talker talks
179 notes
·
View notes
Note
Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?
Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard
Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together™ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?
And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).
As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.
On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.
And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.
All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose
But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer
And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.
Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.
Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.
But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"
All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.
For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.
So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.
And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.
So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#i just be ramblin#flashoneonetwo interview#long post#In all honesty#I think what's most likely for them (best case at least) is a kind of future where they're more domestic partners who also go on adventures#than anything#Or basically...things are kind of as they are now they've just been growing closer still?#And without intervention or conflict in the form of moving on or adding other people to the mix that may replace the other's standing in#their lives any way‚ I can honestly see them never truly confessing or recognizing their relationship for what it is#But then again perhaps if the stars aligned and they borderline had a married with kids relationship and Sonic started joking about them#being together only to realize the truth™ then maybe a confession is in order?#Yeah.#On the bright side‚ even if they never confess‚ at least the two of them could be happy and also be happy and content being as they are as#best friends as long as they're by each other's sides and have each other's back forever#And with this as a possibility‚ even I would not be sad if there wasn't an outright confession#After all...who needs words when you're living your truest life without them?#Anywho#Thank you so much for the ask!#I must admit that I initially was gonna talk about different iterations of them and how a confession may go‚ but in the end I ended up#explaining my sort of collective sontails thoughts/the general interpretations I have of them#While it is my interpretation/opinion at the end of the day though it does touch my heart that you'd want to know😂😊#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything else‚ do always feel free to shoot#me another ask!!😊
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
sweet fluffy treebros is great nd everything and i could totally see it but also. i think they should be a teeny bit horribly toxic
#idkk. the way i see it is that it could totally go both ways#like best case scenario they balance each other out#but worst case scenario. oh boy#they ENTIRELY throw each other off balance even more than they were on their own#like its more a matter of whether theyre mutually willing to be open w each other#nd i could totally see one of them wanting to perhaps be vulnerable w the other#but the other in question not really reciprocating that for many a reason#at the end of the day evan and connor are both deeply mentally ill people in ways both different and similar#nd i could so see a scenario where they dont mix well at all#but either way i can see them having a connection. whether they like it or not#treebros to me is “i fear only one person has truly understood me and i fuckin hate the guy”#why is that like. also kleinsen lowkey#ANYWAYS#im gonna shut up now#good god ive written a fucking essay in the tags ummm#mir spits his shit#dear evan hansen#evan hansen#connor murphy#treebros
24 notes
·
View notes
Text


got reminded it has been a while since i've done a knitting round-up, so here we are!! Last time I said I was only doing the active projects and honestly, hated that approach. So now we've got all of them back on the plate.
First picture, top to bottom, left to right: [jem cowl] [mini quinn] [birch creek bandana] [hollows] [trigradient shawl] [color symphony]
Second picture: [holocene] [ethos cowl] [esther jacket] [koko] [irish chain afghan] [triangular shawlette]
#knitting#lionknits#i am genuinely so in love with where my knits are rn#i had a brief period where i was kinda annoyed that almost everything i was making required me to Pay Attention#but now i have a really nice mix of follow-instructions and just knit on my wayward son#its nice !!#there's a few i think i'll be frogging to use as other patterns#i think hollow's yarn will be used somewhere else#and i dont like what the colors knit up in the afghan so imma just go white i think on the squares#or make them all one (1) color perhaps?? would look nice too
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
any other trans people ever look at yourself in the mirror, hunting for more masculine/feminine features that you want, and finding even the smallest hint of a hint of, say, facial hair, or roundness in the face, and think maybe, just maybe, that it is miniscule, almost imperceptible evidence is proof your body has realized it's been mistaken all along? like maybe your REAL hormones have finally been activated and now your body has started transitioning to what it should have been all along?
#bluebird.txt#might make a comic out of this lol#just realized this is what i feel and what i wish for#so often. too often. i look at myself and say well do i look more like a boy now than last year? than years ago?#i have more acne. i have more hair in my face. perhaps my body has finally realized its mistake#perhaps the next time i go to the doctor they'll tell me some study came back and i was actually#a guy all along so sorry for the mix-up#it sounds funny but its not#i do wish for this#ive wished for it for a long time#it feels good to put it into words but i need to do more with it#draw it paint it write it down in real paper have a conversation#GODDDD and the worst part is i KNOW its not a thing that will happen. could it yeah MAYBE but it wont#the worst part is that i know and despite knowing i hope so fucking hard#like if i believe hard enough if i just believe it hard enough i wont have to go through the process#of telling everyone i want to be a man#of going to the doctor and fighting the seven million levels of laws and doctors tests#to prove i can perhaps be eligible for testosterone#if i believe hard enough maybe ill have been a boy all along and everyone will accept me as i want to be#sigh.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is not right.
Context: this is part of Death Metal, and all the universes are being destroyed. All the heroes of the main universe, and some from other universes, have gathered together on the eve of the final, hopeless, battle. They all know they are probably going to die. Batman asks Batgirl (Babs) to ‘gather the boys’, and she heads off, finding Robin first:

The Robin playing cards here is wearing what is obviously a Damian-Robin outfit, with grey sleeves, grey trousers, a red tunic with yellow bars across the front, and a grey cape with a yellow hood. Barbara addresses him as ‘Tim’. He excuses himself from the game.
(We saw Tim earlier in a Titans crowd scene, where he was wearing his usual short black sleeves and a hoodless cape. There’s no reason given for him to steal Damian’s outfit now.)
Barbara then rounds up Jason and Dick, on panel, and brings them along as well, and then we see this:

Apparently, Tim is still playing poker and will ‘be along soon’ (though he doesn’t turn up at all in the whole scene). Bruce says there’s no time and they will start without Tim. The Robin standing here, wearing exactly the same outfit as in the previous panel, then has to be Damian – and towards the end of the meeting is addressed as such.
What they are there to do, it turns out, is basically the Bat equivalent of a group hug. Bruce wants his kids there so he can look upon them and think sappy thoughts about how much he loves them.
There’s a moment where they pool some items of kit (the paucity of equipment here makes me think this is more symbolic, a kind of Communion, than anything practical) and the speech bubble coming from where Robin was last seen standing says ‘I won some bullets’, implying he was the one at the poker game.
So I am expected to believe that, on the eve of the end of all worlds, where everyone is fully expecting to die,
Bruce wants his sons and Barbara with him, for purely emotional reasons, and doesn’t ask for Cass or Steph (or for that matter Jarro, who has been clinging to and parented by Bruce for a good part of this event)
either Tim dresses up as Damian for no apparent reason or Tim was hiding behind the tent and takes Damian’s place in the poker game for no apparent reason when Damian leaves (and either way Tim would rather play poker with some randos than spend time with his family on the eve of the end of the world)
Barbara, sent to gather the batboys for a final batmeeting, lets Tim play poker and doesn’t insist he join them
Bruce, gathering his family for one last together moment, decides not to wait for Tim, even though he is apparently coming soon, and not to think anything more about him
Bruce has the audacity, the sheer effrontery, to think this of a group that does not include TIm:

#dc comics#batfam#dc death metal#bruce wayne loves his kids#but he appears to have forgotten about half of them#presumably some writer or artist mixed up tim and damian#or straight up forgot one of them existed#I am going to pretend that tim was there at least#I really don’t think he’d want to miss this#and so I might as well pretend cass and steph are there too#and jarro of course#though it’s worth noting that these people are the bats depicted as dying in the battle (except bruce who is already dead)#and the others aren’t (at least not on panel)#so maybe he was gathering them in particular to ask for permission to raise them when they died; even if it’s not shown on panel#but in that case how did he know which ones were going to die? some black lantern power perhaps?#batfam death project#batfam death project sidetrack
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh my god i should reread one of the bailey school kids books. it would be so funny
#i used to love them but then at some point around 3rd grade i reached a critical mass of Bailey School Kids Books Read#and realized that the kids were never EVER going to figure out conclusively whether one of the Suspicious Adults was actually a cryptid#and i was SO ANGRY. the BETRAYAL!!!!#like. ok. i lean perhaps unfairly towards disliking ambiguous endings#HOWEVER. this was not that. this was little 8-year-old me realizing they'd been stringing me along for like 15 books#these narratives DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH on their CORE PROMISE. like if you look at the blurbs:#''Could this man really be Santa Claus? The Bailey School Kids are going to find out!''#NO THEY'RE FUCKING NOT!!! THEY NEVER FIND OUT!!!! NEVER EVER EVER#(ok i don't know this for a fact. i didn't read all of them. but i would be shocked if i was wrong here)#i went from ''i love this book series!'' to loathing basically overnight#really funny in hindsight ghsdlkgmsdlmk. baby bookworm moments#AUTHOR YOU MADE ME A PROMISE!!! IT WAS BUILT IN TO THE NARRATIVE#BUT YOU HAD TO END EVERY BOOK LIKE ''guess we'll never know! *wink*'' INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING THROUGH#YOU BUILT YOUR SERIES ON A FOUNDATION OF LIES AND DISAPPOINTMENT#they didn't have to is the thing!!!!#like. okay i get why they couldnt have a ''this teacher is a werewolf!'' reveal. it would make it difficult to continue the series#but they could have the kids find out he ISNT a werewolf!!! i would have been on board with that. it's like scooby doo!#scooby doo still works after a million episodes even though you know it's going to be some jerk in a costume every time#side note i think scooby doo on zombie island should never have happened. it goes against the premise of scooby doo#side side note i also usually dislike when people mix sherlock holmes with ''oooh it was ACTUALLY A GHOST'' type stuff#they're trying to spice it up but they're misunderstanding the appeal of the thing#there are ways to add supernatural elements well though. angel of the crows does it#the hellhounds and werewolves and everything werent a problem because they followed rules and weren't like. a shock#that part of it was very well-done. i really liked the setting. on the other hand some books try to do a thing like#''sherlock holmes finds out he DOESNT actually understand the world!! and the supernatural is REAL'' booooring i am BORED this is DULL#side side side note i hate jack the ripper stories. whys everyone who does sherlock holmes want to do a jack the ripper case#wow you've put the most famous late victorian detective and the most famous late victorian serial killer together. so original#at least have the decency to change the name or something. come on#personal#bookposting
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
daily may day 17: sacrifice
don’t let me let u down ☹️
#queen#saguaro#tm2#ocs#daily may 2024#the worlds worst take ur kid to work day#*telltale type game notif pops up* queen will remember that#shall not elaborate at this time draw ur own conclusions 👍#perhaps i did start on this at 1 am. my sleep schedule is So...#i am SLOWLY FIXING IT#the curse of being able to set my own schedule....#nyway i mixed my usual style with some of the painting style i did yesterday and that was a fun experiment#did not bother coloring the lineart like i do a lot of the time#bc ...these r supposed 2 be..sketches...#getting a little carried away X-X#i lIKE rendering th. i m having FUN#featured
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm discussing neurodiversity with a friend and she actually suspects she has adhd. I might have all the experience of adhd but who am I to judge right? But the thing is.. she has such strong qualities in area's that are challenging for people with adhd. And I feel like her definition of disorder because she is so balanced and organized in everything she does is on a whole different level. Like she is used to following through in her calculated choices and sticks to her habits more then almost any person I've known and it really sticks out to her when she doesn't. And her definition of I might have adhd is "I've always been dreamy and get distracted by my own thoughts when I'm supposed to be paying attention when someone is talking" Which IS a hallmark of adhd. But I can't feel help but feel.. misunderstood? Because I feel like she underestimates what it means to actually live with adhd. And it's such a fundamental aspects of my life that I know she'd be damn good in masking and overcompensating most adhd symptoms if she had it. I feel a little stupid for letting me bother it, but it still does? Maybe more because she is a close friend of mine.
#adhd#neurodiversity talk#She is highly sensitive and quickly overwhelmed by stimuli and actually has more overlap with common autism symptoms because of her#high sensitivity#and the way she finds comfort in routine but she is a 100% convinced that she doesn't because of the whole idea around “empathy” which is#well.. more or a alexathimia specific thing and wildly misunderstood too#I don't want to feel like a bad person for coming on here to ramble about this tho#Her qualities always made the skills I lack due to adhd so obvious but she always inspired me to do better#and while we have many similarities some of the most stark differences have always been the traits I associate with adhd#personal#or perhaps if someone like her that I look up to because of her level of selfcontrole and organisation that seems to come natural naturally#could have adhd that would make me feel like a failure like I should or could have managed my own symptoms better if I had worked harder#and actually used strategies#but I'm like theres no way right??#this level of selfreflection is pretty confrontational tbh#I also don't want her to feel like something is wrong with her because I know what that feels like#I'm having a bunch of mixed feelings in different directionsbasically#then she was listing a bunch of symptoms that weren't a problem for her like prioritizing tasks and again I was like... ahem so unlikely#you cover a the basics for a full diagnosis#She is on a selfdicovery journey tho and I love her for that. I'm sure it will make sense to her whatever applies when it comes to#neurodiversity#she wants to see a professional too which I think is always a great idea#in the meantime I just want to both support and inform her about what I know about this stuff#like my intention is not to invalidate whatever she suspects which is why I feel rude for having mixed feelings
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Random small talk event at the yard sard set-up, very nice lady, but ESP when asking "Oh are you still in school? ☺️" I literally never know how to say "Oh I graduated a long time ago. Yeah. I mostly do art now" and she says "Oh to sell?" and so far I'm having a reasonable and effective small talk conversation, when I hit that pitfall and lock up and I worry I'm becoming unfriendly bc I locked up. Because I REALLY don't know how to say, "Nah, I kind of do fuck all. I'm 25 and I do fuck all. For nothing." Like I can see the conversation tree in real time and I know that's the worst dialogue option. And there are no other dialogue options there's just Press B to get the fuck outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#MAN........#like it was inconsequential but always. when i have these interactions and esp when i come out the other side thinking#'yeah that wasn't my best work. i hope they don't think i dislike them or that i was inconsistent'#always. i'm just. failing Badly. at even the most basic human rituals.#a lot a small talk discourse fails to understand that it's free dialogue options. if you. have the knowledge of the dialogue options.#but i'm stuck between a quick time event and my knee-jerk reaction to answer honestly (but How Honestly????)#and i'm also observing my neighbor's old man humor and scripts that are always a hit and i'm like. hm. interesting....#if perhaps i can replicate such a thing........#can somebody please for the love of god help me. every day i wake up and i'm autistic.#'inconsistent' ???? inconsiderate. hello#idk maybe both can work. 20 regular interactions in w me things are going swimmingly we're good acquaintances ect ect#i can still just fully forget how to be a person and i clam up and get impersonal and curt.#it's literally no ones fault. i'd dare even say it's not even my own fault. it's just. the autism experience.#also something something there should be more scripts for people who haven't achieved certain milestones in life#an easy way to say 'yeah i barely graduated highschool and i never went to college and i can't hold a job and i live w my dad#and i don't mix my passions w profit bc it's the primary way i regulate myself and it's all about my special interest anyway#AND i'm 25. so. real catch of a guy here tbh'#please for the love of god Help Me.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
#so if anyone cares the thing I’ve beeen so insanely stressed about for weeeks and have written about 20 poems about has Arrived. yeah#i think. i have very mixed feelings in my stomach. i don’t know if i’m ready to process it all yet maybe cause it’s 2am and one of the#latest I’ve stayed up in a while. but yeah. maybe tomorrow. maybe never. maybe I’ll live the rest of july and early august#in just. this. state. yeah :) but I’m okay I think. I’m alright. I’m okay.#i think i will reread kind things people have said to me tonight#so if you’re reading this and have said something even just a little bit nice to me#i’ll be thinking of you tonight. thank you :)#i should probably go to sleep now. gonna go listen to a lullaby perhaps !!!#goodnight :) I’ll be ok. I’ll b ok
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
what chess piece represents you?
the black knight.
you are a black knight, the black sheep, the underdog. as the only piece that can jump over others, you can easily get yourself in and out of situations - always catching people off guard with your charisma and cunning. you move in the shadows, trading information with shady people, getting the upper hand through not always good methods. how far do you think this road can take you? for all your charisma or cunning, lies can only get you so far. one day, that mask you've put on will slip, and you'll be left defenseless. but until then, oh black knight, live like there's no tomorrow - because there might not be.
tagged by: @divingdownthehole.
tagging: @lvebug, @twcfaces, @talentforlying, @forensisch, and anyone else who might like to do this quiz!
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#rp memes.#wow... these quizzes really can be surprisingly accurate at times huh? LOL#i was watching a show today and one of the quotes that was within it REALLY resonated with me whenever it comes to who barton is-#as a character. it was ' tell me from the moment you were born have you ever told the truth? ' because barton really does lie like a rug-#y'all. and although he may think that people don't notice it if you know his ' tells ' then you'll find this out rather quickly.#he did grow up in an environment where he had to learn to lie to survive which is extremely unfortunate but i feel as if there-#have been multiple chances for him to unlearn that behavior and heal from it but he hasn't taken it. either because he doesn't know how to-#or because barton just simply doesn't feel remorse for lying all the time or perhaps a mix of both. idk BUT#barton may put on the persona of the ' charismatic but slightly awkward doctor ' in front of ' normal ' people but-#that's just what it is. a persona. and he always ALWAYS makes sure he has an ' out ' out of any situation he gets himself into pretty much-#so the fact that this quiz pointed out that he gets himself in and out of situations easily is... also accurate haha#but yeahhh. for all the risks that barton takes on the daily i would not be surprised if it catches up to him one day finally-#and he pays the ultimate price for it. because like the quiz states... it is an ugly truth that tomorrow is not guaranteed.#one of barton's least favorite topics to think about is his own passing though so he hardly ever does it. in fact he fears it#but that is a discussion for another day (':
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
if you didn't bother searching btw I'm pretty sure the author whose metaphors lydia davis is dragging is khaled hosseini lol
yes, specifically and the mountains echoed!
to be clear, i haven't actually read either author myself—though i do know davis is, like, a ~writer's writer~ whereas hosseini is bestselling, with everything that implies—and it's very possible that i'd prefer davis' work to hosseini's! i just was really struck by the level of doublethink davis was displaying there: absolutely wild, imo, to say “I don’t like to knock other writers as a matter of principle” as a preface to… doing exactly that?? not that many of us aren't hypocrites, of course, but one does sort of hope a writer would be more careful and honest in their observation of human foibles, even when the foibles in question are their own. (naive of me, i know.)
i think i'm also just a little startled that goodyear (the reporter) seems to take davis' self-assessment at more or less face value, and agree that "to be curmudgeonly was not the point"? i mean, goodyear does put the moment on the page, obviously, where it can speak for itself; but later on in the article she remarks, "as a person, davis is tactful if particular," and i just. i question this characterization, tbh! i don't think someone tactful ('considerate and discreet,' says american heritage) would have gone on record picking apart the work of a living author, in a way whose coyness actually makes the assessment seem more damning, imo—as if hosseini's writing were so shocking it could only be whispered about behind one's hand. which isn't to say it mightn't in fact be that shocking, don't get me wrong! but it's just such a passive-aggressive approach to criticism, and yet, somehow, doesn't seem to register that way with goodyear (possibly because it's at least less overt naming-and-shaming than is goodyear's own style, lol! but i digress).
that said, i do want to reiterate that i don't necessarily think davis has an obligation to be tactful? i can see arguments in favor of prioritizing kindness here and i can also see arguments in favor of prioritizing truth, as i said originally; i think it's easy to hate on women, in particular, for not behaving in ways that are sufficiently conciliatory, and i hope i'm not doing that here. but i guess i just also think—if one can't be both honest and kind, it's probably better to pick one and abide by it than to, in attempting to strike a balance, fall short of quite being either.
#not sure why i keep getting SO excessively verbose abt this‚ yikes#i'm not even particularly wound up about it!#but maybe that's why‚ really—it's easy to dissect and (for me) relatively low-stakes#but like. both interviewee and interviewer here have pretty clearly led lives of significant privilege—#both davis and goodyear attended expensive new england boarding schools and then ivies—#and like. that doesn't make their commitment to literature not valuable#but when your prescriptivism leads you to pillory a first-generation immigrant#who didn't even learn english until he was 15—#it does start to feel to me a little like. aren't there‚ perhaps‚ other wielders of mixed metaphor we could pick on#to illustrate our point about usage#like. mediocre stylists are not in short supply! you can take your pick!#anyway. open 2 further input from ppl but. i think it may be time for me to stop dragging hector around the field‚ lol#bookblogging
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tbh fellas my identity has reached a point of true “idgaf” (it has been like this for months actually. Lolz.) Thinking abt it gives me brainrot. Pronouns? Idc call me whatever. Gender? I am not a man that’s all I got. Sexuality? Idk. I don’t wanna date people tho!!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna find myself!!!!!!!!!!!! I am Aaliyah sammydem0n64 and I am autistic and that’s it‼️‼️‼️‼️
#could have a serious thing abt this but. ew#been on my mind for a while now and it’s 2 am so I get to have introspective rambles#labels r hard. sexuality and gender is a spectrum. I’ve never cared abt pronouns but they/she is easier#maybe there’s a fear that if I’m cis or something people won’t like me for having queer characters#maybe my peers won’t respect me anymore bc boooooooooo to non queer people yucky yucky#but also I don’t think. I’m cishet I don’t think so#but also I just don’t know and idk if I’ll ever know bc I guess I don’t know how!!!!!!#I’ve had 1 romantic relationship and even then we mutually broke up bc we realized we were just best friends#and got platonic relationships mixed up with romantic#and I haven’t wanted a relationship since lol#am I aro? idk. I find people attractive. I just don’t wanna date people rn and maybe that’ll change#am I a woman? idk. I like having boobs. I call myself a woman. but am I one? fuck if I know#like I said I’m just not a man. I’m not a man solely#I don’t identify as one and won’t bc I’m not that. but that’s the only solid#but idk if I’m non-binary. I’ve identified as that for so long that perhaps there’s a fear that I’ll be looked down on for ‘detransitioning’#i don’t know what I am. I’m just me. I go by any pronouns and I like a wide range of fictional characters over several genders#unlabeled for the win I guess but also being ‘unlabeled’ has inherented turned into a label. so#I’M JUST AALIYAH SAMMYDEM0N64‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#I don’t think this is a vent I’m being silly with it + plus it’s introspection with mentioned fear. I’m just rambling#lol anyways 😋😋😋😋
1 note
·
View note