#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything else‚ do always feel free to shoot

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?

Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard

Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together��� with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?

And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).

As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.

On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.

And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.

All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose

But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer

And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.

Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.

Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.

But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"

All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.

For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.

So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.

And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.

So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.

[r4fe-cam3ron]

— YOU WERE THE BEST, BUT YOU WERE THE WORST. | ex-boyfriend!r. cameron x reader

warnings; this is not canon to ‘outer banks’! this will definitely be a slight ooc rafe, slight fluff (short lived, i’m so sorry), hurt, no comfort </3, angst this is so long i apologize.

an; starting off my exbf!rafe masterlist RIGHT (hopefully, maybe) with this piece. honestly don’t know where the plot came from </3 i was thinking of what to right and was listening to ‘i love you, im sorry’ and it popped up in my head thankfully. feel free to leave requests for rafe/ex!rafe as well! but again — i am only on the second season sadly (soon i’ll be on the third! i’m just bad about watching shows). so any rafe requests will pertain to s1 & s2 as of right now! okay, i am done ranting - apologies </3

Double date night - something that you rarely look forward to, even if it’s just once every four months. Especially since it’s still slightly awkward between John B and Rafe, though, you don’t mind the boy. And you love spending time with Sarah. 

Sarah glances at you from the other side of the table, lifting her brows slightly. “We’ll be right back.” She stands from her chair, holding her hand out towards yours. You take her hand, standing with a small smile. 

“You both have to go at the same time?” Rafe asks, brows pinched slightly as he glances between the two of you, crystal blues lingering on you. John B discreetly nods in agreement. 

“Yes,” Sarah answers before you could say anything. “You wouldn’t understand. We’ll be back in five,” She pulls you with her but stops and turns once again. “Try not killing one another while we’re gone.” Her eyes stay on Rafe longer than John B. 

“Mhm.” He waves his hand, slumping back into his chair slightly. Sarah grins and pulls you towards the bathroom once again, stepping inside. 

“So?” She drops your hand. You turn towards her. “Did you open it?” 

“No,” You shake your head quickly. “I don’t…” Sighing, your shoulders drop. “I don’t know how to tell Rafe I even sent in an application,” Sarah’s smile slowly fades and her head tilts slightly. 

“He thinks I agreed on staying here with him while Ward is giving him more opportunities. After a year,” You lean against the sink. “I don’t know if he’ll be happy about it. Especially with it being so far.” 

“It’s a six hour drive,” Sarah deadpans. You stare down at the ground. Sure, it wasn’t that far. But you’d truly be homesick. She leans next to you. “Who knows, he might go with you.” 

“Yeah, right,” You scoff. “His home is here. He’s made that clear already, Sarah. Besides, I don’t even know if I’m going to go.” 

Sarah stares at you - eyes narrowed. “This is your future,” She points at you. “Rafe…he loves you,” She nods, face softening. “And he wants the best for you. He’ll understand. But the longer you wait to tell him…” She trails off, lips pressing into a tight line. 

You sigh and nod. Rafe will be, well, angry - even if the anger would be unnecessary. “I’ll talk to him,” You nod. “But, it’ll only be just a…hypothetical question I’ll ask.” 

Sarah groans slightly, shaking her head. “Insufferable, I tell you,” She mutters, pushing her hair back. “Alright, let’s get back out there so they’re not alone much longer.” 

You nod and follow her back to the table, sitting back down next to Rafe. His arm slings around the back of your chair within a matter of seconds and you lean into the touch, goosebumps raising slightly from where the tips of his fingers trace across your arm. 

Fumbling with your fingers on your lap, you’re unaware of how zoned out you are. 

You’ve always wanted to go to college - prove and make something of yourself and not end up like another woman on Kildare Island who marries for money and then stays in an unhappy relationship with a man who could care less if she even went missing. 

Your mother and father as an example. 

You’re not unhappy with Rafe, and you also know he’d do anything for you if you asked him - the food on his plate, the shirt off his back, anything. 

But, again, this is a chance to prove yourself - especially after many demeaning comments made in passing by friends or family. They always burned even if you laughed them off, nodding in agreement, then cry yourself to sleep that night. 

University of Georgia. Sarah was right. It was only a six hour drive - you could come back on weekends and stay. Yet, you still weren't sure if you’d gotten in. The letter was on your desk, sealed, and waiting to be ripped open with anxious hands. 

“You okay?” You blink a couple of times, looking over to meet Rafe’s gaze, his face melted with slight worry. 

“Yeah,” You smile softly. Sarah watches quietly. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just tired.” You whisper softly. 

Rafe nods and takes that as his cue, reaching into his wallet. “Here’s our half,” He passes Sarah the cash. “I have work early in the morning, so we are gonna go ahead and head out.” 

Sarah nods and stands, pulling you into a hug as Rafe stands off to the side, waiting patiently, though his stance was awkward. “Text me.” She whispers. You only nod, pulling away. 

“Bye, John B.” You wave as Rafe’s arm wraps around your waist, pulling you towards the exit. John B waves with a soft smile. 

You shiver when you step outside. “Dude is so weird,” Rafe mumbles, shaking his head as he pulls open the door for you. “Didn’t even talk the whole time you and Sarah were in the bathroom.” 

You roll your eyes and look at him. “Did you even try talking to him?” 

His bottom lip pushes out slightly as he shakes his head. “Nope,” He shuts the door and you watch as he rounds the truck, getting into the driver's side, quickly starting the engine. “Seat-warmer? On or off?” 

“On, please,” You watch as his finger presses the button. “And how do you expect him to start a conversation when he doesn’t know what to talk about with you?” 

“He could’ve said or asked anything. I’m an open book - I’ll let you know if I want to talk about it or not.” 

You hum and nod, leaning your head back into the headrest as your eyes slowly close. 

“Hey,” Slowly opening your eyes, you peek over at him. “Are you okay? You seem…” He trails off, trying and thinking of a word that doesn't seem offensive. “off?” 

“Oh,” You nod, reaching your hand over to grab him. He grips softly three times. “Yeah. I’m okay.” 

Rafe stares at you quietly. He knows you’re lying but he’s not the type to push unless it truly affects him. You’ll come to him when you want to talk about whatever is on your mind. 

Nodding, he squeezes your hand back three times. A smile pulls at your lips as your eyes drop to your hands. 

—

“I’ll be back. I’m gonna go grab something to drink,” You step out of the bathroom, dressy clothes switched for one of Rafe’s shirts and some shorts - movie attire. “You want anything?” He shakes his head and puts his phone down on the nightstand. 

“I’m good.” 

Nodding, you walk down the steps, leaving Rafe alone in your room. You move quickly, grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator and a pack of gummy’s that were still in the bag from the quick grocery run you both had made earlier. 

Jogging back up the steps, you smile and kick your door shut gently. “Did you find a—” You stop when you see Rafe closer than expected, standing by your desk with an envelope in his hand. 

He holds it up. “What is this?” 

You shift, gulping quietly and averting your gaze but quickly look back. “Uhm…a letter.” 

“Yeah,” He scoffs, stepping closer. “I see that it’s a letter. When did you even apply?” 

You lift your right shoulder - a quick shrug, eyes now looking at the envelope he now holds rather than his face. “F…four months ago?” You wince, peeking up at him quickly before looking back down. “I was going to tell you—”

“Oh, you were?” 

“Yes,” You quickly nod. “Yes, I was. I haven’t even opened it. But even if I did get in, I don’t know if I’d truly go, Rafe. You’re overreacting.” 

“You never even told me you wanted to go to college,” He shakes his head, fingers itching to either crumble the letter or rip it. He was trying to hold it together. “We had a plan, remember?” 

“What plan? The one where we stay here while you work and I stay home and do the same thing over and over everyday? Have a kid or two?” Your eyes now lift to look at him. 

“Yes! That one,” He holds his arms out towards you. “The one we both agreed too.” 

“I never agreed to that. You made that plan yourself and just filled me in on it - never once asking what I wanted,” You scoff, pushing past him. “If you truly believed that’s what I wanted, you don’t know me at all.” 

“Then tell me what you actually want.” 

“I want a life!” You drop the stuff in your hands onto your mattress, turning towards him. “A life! One where…where I get a degree in something I enjoy! Or even own a little shop and sell…antiques or food or whatever,” 

“I don’t even know if I want kids, Rafe. I want…” You trail off, looking at him as you feel your eyes begin to sting. Don’t cry, don’t cry, do not cry. “I want someone who wants to…move, explore, do something that they want instead of listening to their parents because they think it’ll make them happy.” 

“You think I’m working there just to make my dad happy? You don’t think working there makes me happy?” 

It doesn’t. He’s been more angry - even at the littlest things. He looks more drained, tired. He doesn’t enjoy it, but if it gets his fathers praise or attention, he’ll do it. 

“No. I don’t,” You shake your head. You debated on even answering that question, but you notice how his expression changes slightly, the anger wavering. You step closer, staring up at him. “I know you aren’t happy, because I know you,” You place your hands on his chest softly. 

“I know you. But you don’t even know what I want.”

Rafe is silent now. You notice he’s grasping at straws to find something to say. Something to fight back with. You wait patiently, allowing him to conjure up something. 

“Me,” He lands on, brows slightly pinching together. You notice how tears line his waterline. “Me. You want me. A life with me.” 

“I do…I do so badly, Rafe,” You whisper, hands lifting to cup his cheeks. The tears roll down his cheeks now. He rarely ever cries. “But I also don’t want a life like my mom and dad,” Your thumbs push away at the tears. 

“I can’t have you getting upset or angry with me because I want to do something with my life,” You drop your chin slightly to follow his eyes when he looks away. “Georgia isn’t far away and you’re acting as if it is.” 

“That’s not…” His jaw clenches and he pulls away from your hold. You drop your hands by your side, watching as his eyes shut and he forcibly shakes his head quickly. “No. You’re being confusing. I’m not…I’m not angry or upset with this,” He holds up the letter. 

“I’m angry that you didn’t even want to talk to me about it.” 

“I have,” His head quickly turns to look at you. “I’ve told you so many times, Rafe, that I wanted to go. Because of how many times I’ve been told I’m not even smart enough to get into a school like that - that I’ll end up just like them.” 

“That’s being hypocritical, don’t you think?” 

Your face drops into confusion, head tilting. “What?” 

“You want to go to college to…prove yourself or whatever,” He waves his hand in the air. “But…you’re telling me I’m working for my dad because I want to get his praise or attention.” 

“That’s different—”

“It’s not any different,” His voice raises slightly, your mouth quickly shutting and eyes darting away as your arms cross over your chest. “We both want to prove ourselves to our parents and whoever else has doubted what we could do,” It feels weird to Rafe to admit that out loud. 

He looks down at the letter and holds it out towards you. Your eyes glance at him before his outstretched arm. “Open it.” 

Your eyes quickly look at him once again. Hesitantly, you reach out and pull the sealed letter from his grasp. Flipping it over, you try not to seem too desperate when ripping it open. The envelope falls to the ground as you unfold the paper, eyes darting over the words. 

Congratulations. 

Congratulations. 

A smile pulls at your lips, eyes looking up at Rafe who stands there, watching quietly. “I got in,” You whisper. He nods slightly and looks down at the paper that shakes slightly in your grasp. “I got in.” You voice a little louder, looking back at the letter. The tears that finally break loose and slide down your cheeks, drop onto the paper. 

“Congratulations.” Rafe nods. You quickly look back at him, placing the paper on your desk, stepping closer. 

“You could come with me,” You nod quickly, smiling softly as your hands cup his cheeks once again. “Yeah. You could come with me. We could get a small apartment close to the college - I wouldn’t have to live on campus,” 

He stares at you quietly. “We could actually live together. Come down every two or three weeks to visit friends and whoever else,” Your smile would usually be contagious - now it just makes him angry. Your touch is making it feel as if you’re burning him. 

“We could also stay for the weekend since it’s only a six hour drive,” You let out a small laugh, dropping your hands to his shoulders. “Rafe, come on. Act a little more—”

“What, happy?” His tone causes the smile to slip from your lips. His hands lift to wrap around your wrist, pushing your touch away from him. 

“Well, yeah,” You stare at him. “I’m…I’m telling you we could actually live together in our own space and you’re not even…” You trail off. 

“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly too happy that you decided it would be okay for me to just uproot my life from here to go with you.” Oh, Rafe, shut up, shut up, shut up.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“That I’m not doing that!” He throws his hands up. “I’m not leaving everything behind here that I’ve slowly worked through! Dad would never let me hear the end of it.” 

“Is this about me or your dad? Do you not remember when you used to come here just because he would kick you out for weeks before even letting you come back home?” Your own voice begins to raise. “Do you seriously trust him enough to work with him or is it just for the money that he is able to provide?” 

His jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “I don’t have to listen to this,” He walks past you and grabs the duffle bag that sits on your chair. You turn and watch him, lips parting as he begins to stuff his things into his bag. “I don’t have to listen to your version of a ‘perfect life’ when I can have that.” 

It’s like he’s trying to convince himself that he would still have that perfect life when you decide to leave everything behind - leave him behind. 

“You don’t think we could build something up together and have that be perfect?” You walk over towards him as he turns. He stops and stares down at you. “You don’t think we could build our own home together? Something better than here?” 

His lips pull into a tight line so he doesn’t say something he regrets. He steps into the bathroom, removing his stuff before stepping back towards his back. 

“Rafe…” You watch him. “Rafe, please. Why are you being like this? I just want you to talk—”

“I’m angry because you can leave but I can’t!” He turns towards you. You stumble back slightly but quickly regain composure, eyes widened slightly. “You can leave everything behind and you’ll be fine. But if I do…” He lets out a laugh which sounds more like a scoff before shaking his head. “I’m not you. I care too much.” 

“You…” You watch as he zips up his bag. “You think I don’t care? Why do you think I wanted you to come with me?!” 

“Money.” 

The anger that builds in your chest makes you feel as if you’re sweating profusely. “I would never be with you just because of the money and you know it, Rafe,” You jab your finger into his chest. “I love you! That’s why I wanted you to come with me! This whole argument could’ve been avoided if you’d just understand me!” 

“Yeah, well,” He grabs his keys from your desk. “You said you didn’t want to end up like your parents.” 

“Rafe, don’t do this,” You step closer. “You’re being irrational for no reason.” 

He glances back at you one last time - watches how your lip quivers, eyes pleading with him. “Please.” You whisper. His eyes drift over towards your desk, the letter on top taunting him. 

He steps out of your room, slamming the door behind himself. You stand there, staring at the closed door waiting for the moment he steps back in, laughing in your face about how he got you and you’d punch him in the arm. The night would continue with a movie and sour gummy worms. 

Yeah. That sounds perfect. 

But the sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs and the start of his truck has that wish shattering. You rush towards your window, peeking out the curtains. His tires squeal on the pavement as he backs out and speeds off. 

Pulling back, you slowly walk towards your bed and sit on the edge. Your eyes stare at the floor as your hands rest in your lap. Your heart beats uncomfortably fast. 

You slowly reach for your phone, immediately texting Sarah to come over. 

After the texts she sent go unanswered, she’s there within ten minutes and running up the steps. Opening the door, her eyes dart around the room, before they land on you. 

You slowly look over at her. “I got in.” 

Her smile is immediately, mouth parting to speak but she quickly stops when she watches your face crumble, a sob leaving your throat. The door shuts and she quickly walks over, pulling you close to her.

You cry until your eyes are heavy and your throat hurts. You pull away slowly and Sarah looks at you sadly. Your eyes linger on her skin, reaching over and wiping away your tears that had fallen, making a slight face. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” She shakes her head, reaching for your hand. “What happened?”

The explanation was hard to get through, some tears and pauses along the way but Sarah nods, face remaining morphed into sadness. 

“Then he left.” 

Sarah lets out a small sigh. “I mean, he was rejected from that college. Maybe he’s just…” Your brows furrow slightly, head tilting. “Maybe he’s angry at himself - which doesn’t excuse—”

“Wait,” You quickly cut her off. “What do you mean, he was rejected from that college? When did Rafe even apply?” 

She stares at you quietly. “Uh,” She shifts. She thought Rafe might’ve told you - she thought wrong. “He applied last year. He was so excited when he got the letter. He had me open it because he was so nervous,”

Looking down at the loose thread on Sarah’s shorts, you frown at the thought of Rafe being excited then learning that it wasn’t what he was expecting. “He thought I was being mean,” Sarah nods. “I actually felt bad for him. He was…Rafe is smart - when he puts his mind to it. He had the grades for it. Especially when you two started talking,” 

Your eyes lift and she smiles sadly. “He hammered down then,” She nods. “Dad offered to, uh…” She shifts uncomfortably and messes with the bracelet on your wrist. “He offered to pay the school a lump sum of money.” 

“Rafe told him no, because he wanted to get in without that kind of help,” Sarah nods. “Dad laughed. He told Rafe he wasn’t sure why he thought he would be able to get in. He left for four days after that.” 

Thinking back, you remember one time when Rafe had come to your home closer to his graduation. He seemed more sad than what he usually did. When he stepped in, he mumbled some excuse about Rose wanting him out. 

“I never knew any of that. He didn’t tell me.” 

“I know,” Sarah nods. “That still doesn’t give him any right to say and do what he did to you though.” 

You nod, looking towards the picture frame on your dresser, shoulders dropping slightly. “I don’t know if I can leave now.” 

“Hey, no,” Sarah grabs your face and turns it back, lowering them to your shoulders once you’re staring at him. “You’re not backing out on this. This is your chance to have a future. You can talk to Rafe, but do not let him change your mind about going.” 

“This could’ve been avoided, Sarah.” Your lip quivers and head shakes. 

“It could’ve,” She agrees with a small nod. “But him seeing that letter did not need to cause this,” She motions towards your face. Did not need to cause crying for almost an hour straight. “He has every reason to be upset or jealous - whatever he feels. But he should feel happy for you.This is a big accomplishment.” 

Nodding a bit, you smile softly. “I’ll try talking to him,” She nods. “Thank you for coming. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

She smiles. “Not a lot.” She teases. 

You laugh softly, leaning your cheek over onto her arm that remains close to you. “Do you mind staying?” You whisper. 

“Not at all.”

—

| FOUR MONTHS LATER. 

| I know you’re not speaking to me. But I'd really like to see you before I leave. 

| Say a proper goodbye. 

| Please come with Sarah. 

READ AT 12:30PM. 

Your heart breaks but it’s something you’ve grown used to over the four months away from Rafe. Quickly dropping your phone, you look over when the door opens. 

Your mom smiles softly when she sees you folding a shirt, stuffing it into a suitcase. You’re leaving some clothes home, in your room, but taking some with you. Your dad had given you a free range of spending after learning about getting accepted. 

That’s the first time you’ve ever felt as if he was proud of you. 

“I can’t believe you're leaving me,” You turn and send your mom a small smile. “I’ll be home every four weeks unless something important comes up. And for holidays. You could also come see me.” 

“I don’t like driving and neither does your dad, you know that,” There’s something that wavers in her voice that has a frown pulling at your lips and fingers gripping the material you hold. She steps closer and clears her throat. “Are you sure you want to leave early?” 

You stare at her quietly for a moment as you actually think about backing out of this whole thing. You wanted to leave a month early so you can explore a new place, maybe meet some new friends. But you also didn’t want to leave everyone else behind. 

But you wanted to leave everyone behind at the same time. 

A part of you felt bad for leaving your mom - although another part doesn’t. She never really showed she cared, but maybe that wasn’t her fault. 

“I’m sure. I want to make sure I know where everything is,” You nod, turning back to your bag. You finish with the shirt in your hand, zipping up your bag. “Sarah, John B, and everyone's on their way to say bye.” 

She doesn’t know about the fight with Rafe. And you did not want to tell her - she’d find some way to blame you for it. 

You also didn’t feel like crying once again. 

She nods and smiles softly. “Come with me. Your dad said he’d get your bags.” 

You're surprised, but nod and follow behind her down the steps. Your dad was in the kitchen, giving you a small smile in passing before he walked upstairs. 

You turn your attention back, eyes dropping to a box. “What’s this?” 

“A care package,” She nods. You eye it before looking at her. “Do you…remember those homemade cookies we used to make with one another?” 

“Oh, I don’t—”

“I made some,” She quickly cuts you off. You, of course, remember making those cookies. They were the best cookies you’ve ever tasted - nothing has yet to top them yet. You were smush surprised she even made them. “Last night. I was…I was up late making this with some of the other snacks you used to like as well.” 

You pull the box closer, opening it and peeking inside. Your heart stops for a moment before glancing up. “Mom—”

She circles around and grabs your biceps softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there the most when you needed me,” Your eyes begin to sting. “When you were older. I should’ve stuck up more for you and been there. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

She pulls you towards her quickly, squeezing you tightly. You can’t remember the last time you hugged either one of your parents. Not one of those side hugs, or hugs that you do for a family portrait and quickly pull away after the flash goes off. 

An actual bone-crushing hug. 

Your arms slowly wrap around her, before your eyes slowly squeeze shut, moving closer. 

“My baby,” She whispers, pulling away and pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m so sorry.” 

You smile softly, shaking your head quickly. “It’s okay.” You whisper, breath shuddering slightly as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand. She reaches up and wipes at your other cheek. 

“I’m so, so proud of you, you know?” 

It’s strange. The words she says have your face crumbling and another shaky breath escaping you. You never knew if she was truly ever proud of you or not - you still wasn’t for sure, the words could just be in the moment - but it still renders you breathless all the same. 

You jump slightly when you hear a honk outside. Your eyes dart towards the front door before glancing at your mom. She nods. “I’ll get your dad to carry this out too.” 

You nod and start to walk out of the kitchen. You pause and turn back around, hugging her tightly. “I love you, Mom.” You whisper softly. 

Her arms tighten once more for a second before releasing slightly. “I love you, sunshine.” Suddenly, you’re a little girl again, beaming at her when you pull away. 

You quickly walk outside, smiling softly when you see the people who are standing outside, waiting by your car. Walking over, JJ is the first to see you. 

“Hello, Miss Georgia.” He grins, walking over. Everyone glances over. You embrace him in a hug, smiling softly. 

“Hello, JJ,” You laugh softly, pulling away. “Thanks for coming. Sorry that it’s gonna be a short goodbye too - I want to get going before traffic hits.” 

“Then we better get to it,” Topper says from the side. “There’s a concert going on today.” 

You hum softly and hug JJ once again, patting his back softly. “Don’t get yourself into too much trouble.” 

“No promises.” It sounds like he sniffles at the end, but you pull away to hug Pope next as JJ turns and fixes his hat. 

“Make good choices and study.” He reminds you. You pull away and stare at him, grinning. 

“You’re so studious, Pope.” 

He smiles softly and pulls you into another quick hug, patting your back before moving to stand next to JJ. You hug Topper and Kelce next - a side hug, but it was still nice of them to come tell you goodbye. 

You hug Kiara next, promising to text her and send her pictures of the sunsets - mountains, too, if you go hiking. 

John B gives you a small smile. Sarah pushes him slightly. “She doesn’t bite,” She shakes her head. “Well—”

“Hush, Sarah,” You warn, hugging John B. You lower your voice. “Take care of her, okay?” 

He nods and steps away. You smile at Sarah and hug her tightly, feeling her fingers grip at the material of your shirt. “I’m sorry he didn’t come. I tried.” She whispers. 

You nod. “It’s okay…” You whisper. Pulling away, you smile and take a look at everyone. 

“I love you guys,” You nod. “Thanks for being here. It means a lot.” 

“Anything for you,” JJ smiles. “But we can’t watch you leave. Otherwise, we will follow you.” 

Letting out a small laugh, you nod. “Then you guys better go. I’m about to leave after I tell mom and dad bye.” You motion over your shoulder. 

They all walk towards their cars, goodbye’s and ‘I’ll see you soon’ filling the space. You watch as everyone disappears before turning. You see both your mom and dad standing and waiting patiently. Walking over, you smile. 

“Okay…I guess this is the part where we hug and I promise you I’ll see you both soon?” 

The man chuckles and pulls you close. “Exactly,” He pats your back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You allow yourself to be selfish and indulge in his attention. “I love you. Text when you get there, okay?” 

You nod. “I will. Thank you, dad.” 

He presses another quick kiss to the top of your head, pulling away. You step towards your mom first, pulling her into another tight hug. “Call me whenever you need to. When you want to come back.” She whispers. 

You smile and nod. “I will. I love you.” You feel her nod and you pull away from the both of them, walking towards your car and slipping inside. You glance in your rearview mirror, watching as your mom lingers on the doorstep as your dad passes by, stepping inside. You frown slightly. 

The attention he had given you was short lived. 

Sighing, you turn on your car and hover your thumb over the START button on maps. Your eyes lift once again towards the house. The door shuts once again. 

Your eyes begin to sting as you look away once again, clicking the button. 

“In .3 miles, make a left…” 

Rafe pauses as he watches your car make a quick left, disappearing from his view. Rubbing at his face, he looks over at the packed bags in his passenger seat. 

He backed out. 

He packed his bags. Drove to your home to see if the offer still stands - to see if you still wanted him to go with you. Then he stopped before he even pulled into the driveway. 

He didn’t know why he couldn’t push himself to do it, no matter how many times he kept saying that’s what he wanted. He wanted you. He wanted to make a home with you. Have that perfect life that you believed in. 

He didn’t know what was holding him back. 

Starting up his truck, he stares at the mailbox in front of your house. He clears his throat and quickly pulls into the driveway, getting out and making his way up to the door. He knocks and waits. 

Your dad answers, brows slightly lifted. “Oh, Rafe,” He then pinches them together in confusion. “Didn’t you already say goodbye?” 

“No,” He shakes his head quickly. “I, uh…I was at work.” He lies. 

“Well, I’m sorry, kid. You just missed her,” He motions towards the end of the driveway. “I could call if you want—”

“No,” He quickly stops him. “No…I don’t want to hold her up if she had a timeline she wanted to follow. Thank you, though, sir.” 

He nods and begins to shut the door. “Wait,” The door opens once again. “This might be…” He trails off. It wouldn’t be weird. As far as they know - hopefully - you both are still together. “Would it be okay if I go up to her room?” 

The older man’s brows lift slightly, shrugging. “I don’t see why not.” 

Rafe nods and steps inside when he steps away. “Thank you, sir. I’ll be quick.” He makes his way towards the steps, quickly jogging up them and towards your room. 

He opens the door, stepping inside before closing it behind himself. He slowly steps in and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he looks around the room. 

Sitting on the edge of your bed, he smiles to himself softly. It did feel strange sitting in your room, without you. 

His eyes land on the photo on the nightstand, picking it up carefully. It had been moved from your dresser, closer to your bed. He didn’t know if that was good or bad. 

His chin quivers and drags his thumb across the dried flowers that had been stuffed under the glass. They were from your second date - Rafe had been late, Ward holding him up to do something that could’ve waited.

He wanted Ward's approval and put you last. He thinks that was the first time he ever did that. You never held it against him. 

Kicking off his shoes, he shifts around in the bed as he lies on his side. He holds the frame close to his chest, arms crossing over it protectively. 

He was never the one to get close to people. It was a surprise that he had even let you get close enough that you knew his little tics he would do when he was nervous, lying, or joking. 

Close enough that you knew him better than he knew himself. 

More than he knew you. 

The thought makes his eyes squeeze alongside the painful squeeze of his heart, the heel of his palm pressing in between his brows. His phone is weighing heavily in his pocket - his mind screaming for him to just call. 

But he didn’t want to hold you back. He knew you were meant for something greater than this place. Your friends. Him. You deserved to prove yourself in a way he never could or never will be able too. 

He loved you too much to hold you back. 

He loves you too much. 

His eyes grow heavier, the hold on the frame loosening as he slowly falls asleep to the scent of your sheets that smelled of both you and him. 

That smelled of home.

— tags; @starkeyvhs ; @clairoscharm ; @oceanblvd111

| please do not steal my content! feedback, requests, comments, & reblogs are appreciated & very welcomed. ᢉ𐭩

[olderthannetfic]

So, you mentioned low standards of research in podcasts. I don't listen to podcasts or watch a lot of videos about fandom analysis, but I have seen error corrections happening in the wild for what I have listened to, so I can only imagine how annoying it is when you know your shit.

Do you have any resources that come to mind as things everyone who likes fandom should be comfortable with, or specific essays on uniquely important fandoms (such as Sherlock Holmes or Star Trek) that everyone should read? Obviously the OTW resources are up there; what else?

Aside from resources, do you think there are any skills that are especially vital for getting to the bottom of fandom trends? Interview skills are probably pretty high up there.

Any pitfalls you see a lot of young fans falling into?

(I do a lot of fandom history research. It is the thing that gives me joy in fandom; other people like shipping or AUs, I like my little mini-anthropology sandbox and watching how ideas spread. I'm not necessarily good at it, but it's fun!)

--

Well... it's the usual things.

For example, a lot of fans claim to love fandom stats, but the ones that get passed around come from like three people. The people doing those stats, including me, don't usually have a statistics background, which doesn't automatically make them bad, but it really seems like people are just trusting anything with a pie chart.

We've recently seen people discover that those year-end AO3 ship stats have a seriously weird methodology. They don't show the thing their fans are actually trying to find out. People were pissed. But most of the time, they don't even bother asking what the methodology is or trying to do anything themselves.

There's far too much sitting back and waiting for some BNF to spoon feed one publicly-available information.

--

The big failings aren't usually the math itself but, of course, not knowing what question to ask, so it pertains to history research, not just stats.

You'll see a lot of stuff on shipping that looks at AO3 because AO3 shipping numbers are easy to pull... But AO3 shipping numbers don't just happen to be easy to pull: that is both an effect and a cause that is directly related to AO3's content. Someone interested in meta shouldn't be asking "What do AO3's numbers show?" as their first question. They should be asking "Why is this metadata available or not available and what does that mean on a sociological level?"

--

Thing two is the eternal I Have Apparently Never Heard of Anime problem. A fuckton of people theorizing about fandom trends seem to know fucking nothing about whole massive sectors of fandom or treat them as afterthoughts. This is okay if you're writing a history of Media Fandom. It is criminally stupid if you're trying to talk about what makes a piece of media have fic when another doesn't, what kinds of websites make fandoms take off, etc. Those kinds of broad questions need a broad understanding of what's out there.

It's not anime-specific, and I'm not asking for a high degree of knowledge.

I have routinely had people tell me that best friend ships and mystery/crime as a genre aren't popular, and that's why AO3 has this or that pattern... Meanwhile, buddy cops are the bedrock of oldschool slash fandom and make up basically all of the longest-running Western m/m fandoms that aren't Star Trek. CSI slop tends to have legions of future canon het shippers, and they make plenty of fanworks. It's just that some of this is more visible on FFN or older places, not AO3.

I'm always seeing things like someone speculating about how this and that anime fandom thing or bit of mid-00s FFN community drama led to this other thing on AO3, not realizing that AO3 came out of LJ Western fandom slash culture. To them, FFN is so central that it must be the main reference point, not the bajillion and one archives AO3 founders ran or Usenet or mailing lists or LJ.

I once saw someone asking on twitter about where a prominent Ranma fic might have been posted in the mid-90s. People claiming "My professor is an authority!" came out of the woodwork in droves to blither about K/S zines and then LJ. Not only was this entirely wrong, but the right answer was blindingly obvious if you knew enough to interpret the google results. I can only assume that the person tweeting had never heard of Usenet and didn't recognize the acronym for the big anime fanfic group that literally everything like this was first posted to.

I'm talking people insisting that fandom only goes for white characters when it's very obvious that fandom goes for majority leads who are not othered. All the bawwing in the world about "People assume anime characters are white" won't get rid of The Untamed or Kpop thirsters or whatever.

I'm talking sweeping pronouncements about gender and fanfic writers where the person hasn't even heard of FIMFiction or SpaceBattles or Dark Lord Potter cheesefests.

I've been in fandom for a long time, but I wasn't in all these parts, and I wasn't around for 80s zines. You don't need deep knowledge until you pick a research topic. But it's shocking how little shallow, broad knowledge a lot of people have when they're writing their Theory Of All Of Fandom History.

--

People are stupid as shit about survivorship bias, and fandom history is no exception. They're also dumb in the opposite direction, assuming that the thing they like now has always existed in this exact form.

For example, someone got mad at Fanlore for supposedly not documenting the history of f/f zines. Others have searched and searched for the zines of their old show they got into last year and are bewildered to not find any. The reality is that Fanlore editors are attempting to document every Media Fandom zine and have combed through old adzines looking for any mention of anything. Because of the methods of distribution—because it was expensive—small fandoms often had no zines at all.

Femslash fandom doesn't seem to have gotten enough critical mass to do much until Xena. The internet has really democratized things, but even the early internet was still somewhat in that old mindset where only certain popular things have a fandom. I think Yuletide itself, which started in 2003, really helped spread the idea of rare-but-existing fandoms being a thing. FFN and perhaps some other multifandom archives like Media Miner played a huge role.

Nowadays, we think of fic as just how you respond to media, any media, even if there are only two fics for that one car commercial, but that isn't how people saw things in every era—or at least it's not how fandom infrastructure worked. A lot of the time, the big hosting spots were single-fandom archives, often with restrictive content rules. Finding somewhere to post a m/m/f OT3 fic used to be hard. Never mind early zines when photocopiers didn't even exist yet and you had to sell out your print run of 500 to make a go of it.

All good research starts with a lot of preliminary investigation to figure out what you're even trying to look for.

Actually bothering to look for fans talking about their own history or casually chatting with your interview subjects before the formal interview will put a person miles ahead of many of the cringeworthy fandom ~papers~ I've seen.

The biggest mistake people make is going "Okay, these numbers aren't perfect, but some numbers are better than no numbers".

Bullshit.

As soon as there's a pie chart of the false numbers, everyone's brain turns off and they never look at the chart subtitle, never mind the research notes.

Bad numbers are often worse than no numbers.

Look at the logic behind the methodology first. Look at the social context. Basic understanding of human nature and familiarizing oneself with the shape and hangout locations of a community will get you most of the way there before you sit down for a specific interview or try to collect any specific numbers.

--

None of this is a fandom thing. Research is research. It's just that most people think "research" means watching a tiktok that the algorithm likes and were never taught how to evaluate a source for reliability.

Evaluating sources is a skill. I had explicit lessons on it in school. Lots of people don't, and that sucks.

Honestly, watching the more thoughtful debunking content on non-fandom topics, like Miniminuteman's stuff on pseudo-archaeology or Dan Olson's... everything, is a good window into critical thinking, and that's most of what's missing from bad fandom history.

--

But more than any of that, more is more. Not the crap stats, but the narrower, more personal accounts, the interviews. The more fans who investigate their little corner that isn't the same old AO3 site-wide "Why is there so much m/m?" ship stats or the same canned "Everything comes from K/S" history, the better.

What I object to is not amateur efforts but efforts that pull from the same small pool of data or that just reblog a tiny handful of supposed authorities.

--

If people are going to read just one thing... hmm... go try to look up a history of rec.arts.anime.creative, not because I think it's the most important fandom history out there but because it's at the nexus of things a lot of current fandom history work miss.

[seeker-ophelia]

HAPPY DRAGON AGE DAY

Conniving Crows, Wicked Watchers, Lustful Lords, Vivacious Veil Jumpers, Wild Wardens, and Shrewd Shadow Dragons!

Me: THANK YOU SO MUCH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR FILLING OUT MY SURVEY! You: Lady, what are you talking about? Me: A couple weeks ago you filled out my survey! You: Oh yeah, whatever happened with that?

Well, let me tell you, good internet people!

Dragon Age: The Veilguard in “One Word”:

If I had a nickel for every "Fun, but..." or "Pretty, but..." responses, I would have a lot of nickels. "Fun but not Dragon Age" was my personal favorite.

If you don't see your verbatim response here, that's because there was 650 of you. And I had to take some liberties with verbiage here.

What were your Overall Impressions of Dragon Age: The Veilguard?

What did you like the MOST about Veilguard?

What did you HATE about Veilguard?

Ho, nelly, you guys.

186 (>28%!) of you used the “Other” box to expand on your ideas (which is part of why this graph is so uhgly) but I appreciate every single one of you sharing your thoughts with me.

19 (2.9%) of you said something pertaining to “The Writing” even though that wasn’t an option

112 (17%!) of you mentioned (at least one of) the words: shallow, pale, child-locked, darkness, nuance, choice, conflict, empty, sanitized, or (my personal favourite) toothless.  

Some “Hated” Honorable Mentions:

“Neve’s Hat”

Fuck off her fascinator is fascinating

“Not Being able to Swim”

I read it before and I still laughed; this one is the real MVP

The Death of Varric

☹

The one person who said “Harding”

I will fight you

The TWO People who said “Too many puzzles”

Bitch is this Taash? How did you get access to this???

**Shout out to the people who pointed out I spelled DIALOGE wrong, yeah I know sorry I’m an idiot

If Veilguard were to have a DLC, which Companion Characters would you want to see return the most?

I find it SO interesting that I asked for 5, and there were 5 VERY CLEAR winners...

(Cole, Dorian, Fenris, Merrill, Zevran, by a veritable landslide; there’s over 100 votes between the lowest – Merrill (284), and the next highest – Cassandra (177))  

To those of you who can’t read: the HoF, Hawke, and the Inquisitor are NOT Companion Characters.

Also, to the one person who responded: “No one deserves to be dragged through that” I see you.

*I did not have time to collate the data supplied in “Other” but I think there’s a pretty obvious winner here

And now, if a “Keep” DLC were to be made, which choices do YOU think are the most important to have?

Before we jump into that, I would just like to say how little these answers differ; despite my open ended question a LOT of people wrote the same things.

Some of you, bless your little hearts, explained your choices like im a dumb bitch who hasn’t been living in the wiki and played each game 2/3/5 times. Like I would be doing this and not know what Orzammar or the Architect is.  Bless your little worm spirits you’re so adorable.

Every person who said “Inquisitors Class” followed it up with (weird I know sorry uwu im so weird im sorry) like… guys. You know…. You are ALLOWED to have OPINIONS. And you’re not weird there was like 6 of you. You're not alone.

To the EVERYTHING/ALL OF IT people; I see you.

Four people were brave enough to admit they couldn’t remember anything, and 55 people didn’t write ANYTHING.

Behold, Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat:

Circle Fate: Fate of the Chantry Circles after DAI

DAI Wardens: Wardens exiled/accepted in DAI

Divine: Who you chose for the Divine (DAI)

Fade Fate: The Fate of the person you left in the fade in DAI

Mage/Templar: The outcome of the Mage/Templar conflict (not differentiated between Inquisition/2)

Southern Rulers: All three Rulers of Southern Thedas; Ferelden, Orlais, & Orzammar

The Well: Who Drank Mythal's Bathwater (dont kink shame me)

Any answer with less than 5 responses got taken out for brevity and are listed below:

(2) Nothing Cuz they destroyed the South, (1) ANYTHING!!!!!, (1) fuck you (bioware) for disregarding the entire lore of the first few games, (1) I think the most interesting things are the smaller stuff you don't expect to carry over.

(2) Andraste's Urn, (2) Avernus (research), (1) Awakening companions fates, (2) Calpernia's Fate, (3) Cass/Tranquility, (2) Clan Lavellan Status, (1) Cullen/Lyrium, (2) DA:O Dalish Clan, (1) DA2 Isabela, (2) DA2 Qunari Plot outcome, (1) Dagna (Magic School), (1) Danarius, (1) Disband/Keep Inquisition, (2) Faded for Her Result, (3) Hawke Siblings Fate, (2) Inquisition disbanded actual consequences, (1) Inquisition Support of Nevarra or Tevintrer (josephine war table quest), (4) Inquisitors Class, (1) Iron Bull, (1) Isabela, (1) Paragon of her Kind (Golems), (1) Prisoner at Ostagar, (1) Rule of 3, (1) Save/Stop Solas, (1) Sha-Brytol dwarves, (1) Shale, (4) Solas/Inky Approval, (1) Solassan Implications, (1) Solavellan Vallaslin, (1) Soldier's Peak, (2) Sten, (2) Zevran/Darker Crows.

To the one person, who commented: “I think the most interesting things are the smaller stuff you don't expect to carry over.” I see you. And I am percolating.

If the Devs/Anyone at BioWare happens to see this, the last question I asked was this:

If you could ask the Devs/Writers of Veliguard one thing, what would it be?

A lot of responses are focused on the lore. More are questioning the narrative & lore decisions & implications of VG. Some are begging for DLC. Some are flat out rude. One is a proposition. But there are a fair amount of people who want to ask you;

‘hope you're okay’

‘How are you holding up?’

‘I hope despite everything you know that your creation is loved and adored.’

‘THANK YOU!!!’

Intelligent fans know the development Hell VG went through to be born. They know corporate culture. They understand there's often more than meets the eye. Fans of Dragon Age know what heavenly good delicious golden content BioWare can make. And they're hungry for it. Take some well deserved rest, and then come back to the table with us, because we cannot wait for more.

A Sappy Little Note:

I have Zero online presence and really expected to get about 100 responses total, and I got 650 (*mind blown emoji*), I wasn’t even able to share it to reddit main (bc of the fvbjvks mods). Most of these responses are from YOU GUYS on good ol’ tumblr.com and Im so weepy about how you all got involved and shared your thoughts with me Thank You SO MUCH.

For those of you who messaged me about the DLC, you are not forgotten. Believe it or not, I have a plan. Watch your inboxes over the next couple days, because I’m going to be prickling your creative brains over the Holidays.

Once more, Thank You All, so so so much for participating. Bare your blade, remain vigilant, and keep an Eye out for The Agents.

[astraariel]

flores amarillas (a devotion of love)

pairing: fili x mexican!reader (kinda?)

summary: after being thrown into Middle Earth randomly, Fili surprises you with an act of love, reminding you of your life back home.

september 21st - when someone gives someone else yellow flowers on this day, it means you have undying loyalty and love for that person and can be used as a symbol wishing to spend the rest of your days with that person.

word count: 2.4K

warnings: none

tags: tooth-rotting fluff; nobody dies/everyone lives!au; modern character in middle earth!au

author’s note: I am so sorry for being gone for a whole year, oops. here is a fic I wrote in a couple of hours bc I randomly got the urge to write again… my hyperfixation of lotr/the hobbit has made it’s return so I hope you guys love Fili as much as I do <3

so when I daydream, obviously I do it by how it pertains to myself and my culture so this technically is a mexican!reader insert since it's a holiday from my culture BUT it’s a cute holiday nonetheless so I wanted to write about it. this will probably be the only specific reader fic I write because I don’t want to narrow my broadness bc I try to write for any READER! (ig I also write just fem!reader but I digress)

am I posting this a month after the date? yes, yes I am. but who cares! I still wanted to write this and I think it will help me get out of my slump and make me try to write more…

for the sake of the fic (and my mind) the dwarves have the same calendar system as us... I can not mentally try to convert when September 21st would be for them lol. anyways, enjoy and ignore any grammar mistakes♡

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The sound of your footsteps echoed around the grand halls of Erebor, the quiet murmurs and shuffling of all the dwarves doing their jobs filled the air as you walked toward the gates.

Thorin had dismissed Fili of his duties for the day as crown prince, allowing him to skip all his meetings he normally would be in attendance to.

As soon as Fili had gotten the news, he ran to find you so he could make sure to steal you away for the day. 

So here you currently were, making your way to where Fili was so he could surprise you with whatever he had planned for your date.

Looking back on your life now to what it was back in your world, was bizarre to say the least. You’ve grown accustomed to your new life here in Middle Earth, but it had taken you a bit to adjust to it. Having been fond of the books made you excited to live and breathe the words you had read as a kid in real life.

Finding yourself stumbling around the Shire at the same time when the company had been instructed to meet at Bilbo’s house, changed your life for the better. 

Once Thorin had begrudgingly allowed your presence into the company, you quickly learned how the quest had been a long and exhausting one. Hours and hours of the dwarves grilling you on where you came from, what your world was like, and what you were doing there had your head spinning. Eventually, it turned from weariness to genuine curiosity so you had found yourself on quiet nights around the fire, surrounded by thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard telling them about random facts from your world. 

The company slowly began warming up to you in their own ways, but you grew exceptionally close to the two younger brothers. 

Many nights with Fili and Kili had you going on and on about your life back home. Kili’s incessant questions and curiosity allowed you to run your mouth over and over about random aspects of your life and made you grow fond of him immediately. Fili, on the other hand, was a bit quieter, shaking his head at his brother’s antics and having more thoughtful questions that had you reminiscing on old memories.

Nonetheless, you began to care for them even with the many nights that had you dreading the end of the quest and the final battle that the dwarves found themselves in before reclaiming their homeland. 

You originally didn’t want to get close to any of them, the fact that you already knew their fate and they didn't, ate at you everyday. You kept your distance at first, the anticipatory grief already settling in once you had made eye contact with the brothers that very first day was already too much. And yet, you still found yourself laughing and opening up to them throughout the quest. 

Especially Fili. 

His blue eyes captivated your mind, they beckoned you to get closer to him, to ask him questions about his life back home in the Blue Mountains. About his childhood, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes; he made you fall in love with him after your very first conversation. 

Of course, you couldn’t voice that. He was the crown prince, who was currently on a quest to reclaim his motherland. 

And of course also because…the ending.

You weren’t sure how your presence in Middle Earth and on the quest would affect the outcome, but if you couldn’t change what happened, you wanted to save yourself that grief. 

And yet, when Fili presented the courting bead he had been creating late at night during the journey, you accepted it wholeheartedly. 

You were a selfish creature. 

Thankfully, you did everything in your power to keep everyone alive, after long and anxious nights of sitting by all of the Durin’s beds they all healed from the battle and began their new lives in Erebor.

You began your new life in Erebor as well, with Fili. 

A voice shouting your name shook you from your thoughts. 

“Amrâlimê, you look beautiful as ever.” Fili came into view as you processed his comment.

Smiling, you leaned over to kiss him. “Thank you, you look wonderful as well.”

Grinning, he took your hand. “Come, I have an amazing day planned for us, ghivashel.”

♡‧₊˚

Your fingers traced the lines on Fili’s hand as the two of you laid in the grass, still recuperating from the spontaneous race up the hill where you currently both laid atop of.

After a bit of silence, Fili’s voice rang in your ear. “Did you have fun, my love?” 

Sitting up on your arm, you look over at him. “Of course I did, I always enjoy myself when I’m with you.”

Fili looks over at you, “Flattery,” he grabs your hand and kisses it, “careful fair maiden, you may just create an admirer out of me with your words.”

Giggling at your mushy banter, you smile over at him. His golden waves framed his face perfectly in the fading daylight. His eyes crinkling in happiness as he looked over at you made you swoon inside.

Fili stands abruptly, extending his hand out to you. “Come, follow me, I figured we could have a picnic under the stars like old times.” 

Fili leads you off to the side into a fenced off area where you knew the few botanist dwarves cultivated their flowers. 

Once the two of you entered, your eyes were met with a blanket in the middle of the garden with an area of food and desserts displayed along with blankets that the two of you could use for the coming night chill.

“When did you do this? You were with me all day?” Your confused face followed Fili’s figure that was walking toward the sitting area.

Fili sends you a cheeky grin. “I may or may not have bribed Kili to do this for me with the guarantee that I’d cover for him with Uncle so he can sneak off with Tauriel next week.”

Scoffing, you shake your head. “Kili will do anything but confront Thorin about being with Tauriel, he needs to just suck it up and tell your Uncle he’s in love with an elf.”

Fili hums in agreement as he guides you further toward the blanket. You situate yourself as you look over the treats that Fili (Kili) had laid out for you.

The two of you quietly begin snacking as you gaze at the sky when Fili breaks the silence. “I’m very lucky to have you, amrâlimê, I thank whatever power that put you in my world because I was able to meet and love you.”

Rolling your eyes, you turn away from Fili, “you're so sappy.” Glancing at him again you smile, you never will get used to his random confessions of love he does. You don't think the butterflies will ever go away, he constantly makes your heart want to burst out of your chest with how fast it always beats around him. 

The amount of love you have for Fili has never been like anything you’ve experienced. Whenever you think or look at him your heart swells, just being in his presence sends a calming effect through you and yet simultaneously, a tsunami of intense emotion. You've never had any love like it before.

You agreed with what he said, you truly thank whatever power placed you in the Shire when it did.

“I know we don’t really see each other often since I'm so busy-” Fili begins.

“Fee, I know you have responsibilities, I understand.” 

Fili just stares and smiles at you for a second. “I know you do, Mahal, I love you so much.” After a split second he says, “I’ll be right back.”

The random shift of tone catches you by surprise eliciting a laugh from you, “What?” 

“I’ll be right back!” He gives no other explanation before running off in a direction leaving you. 

“Ok?” You’re left confused, but amused at your lover’s antics.

A few minutes pass by before you hear footsteps returning, your head turns in the direction of the sound and you find Fili’s figure holding something behind his back.

“What are you hiding,” you giggle, “What’s behind your back, Fee?” Leaning over you try to get a glimpse at the mystery behind him.

He doesn't say anything as he bends down to get on his knee so he can be closer at your eye level to your figure reclining on the ground. 

You look at him expectantly waiting for him to start.

“I wanted to make this a grand gesture, but I was panicking and Kili’s fed up with me constantly going on and on about this day but…”

Titling your head, you question, “This day?” 

Fili seems to stop his rambling and pulls his arms from behind. “It’s the 21st of September.”

You let out a surprise gasp before sitting up. You had noted on the calendar in your room that it was the 21st but expected nothing from it since you weren't in your own world.

And yet here was Fili, kneeling with yellow flowers held out in front you. 

Your eyes scan over the array of yellow flowers that were held carefully with white paper in Fili’s hands.

“How did you-?” 

Fili smiles, “During the quest, remember?”

Your mind combed through your memories, attempting to recall the conversation. 

The company had been unknowingly making the journey to Rivendell (under Gandalf’s expense) which had evoked Kili’s curious side from the exhausting trek. You and the two brothers were walking side by side toward the back, when Kili had posed you with a new question from your life back in your world.

“Tells us more about your culture,” Kili nudges you, “not just your world but you specifically.”

Catching you by surprise, you think quickly for an answer. “Hmm…well from where I’m from, there's a specific day that a person may use to confess how they feel about you.” You're not really sure what compelled you to mention this specific custom, but your mouth opened before your mind could keep up with it.

Kili’s eyes brightened with your response, so you knew you’d have to unfortunately continue with the train of thought.

“Well, on the 21st of September, if someone gives you yellow flowers, it has meaning. A lot of people from my culture see receiving yellow flowers on this day as being a very important and caring act. It’s to some, very intimate, because not many express their emotions like this so when a person does, the significance is extraordinary.” Your eyes flick back to the brothers.

Clearing your throat, you looked forward in embarrassment.

Great. You’ve just opened that can of worms out to the two brothers who you’ve barely met, as well as whoever else was currently eavesdropping in your conversation.

Not having felt the change in air with you, Kili continued to ask, “Have you been gifted yellow flowers before?”

Still not making eye contact with either of the brothers, you sighed. “No, I have not.” Clicking your tongue you continued, “I think perhaps it’s because the people who I have dated didn’t know about the meaning. I mean, even if they did, I don’t think the flowers would mean much because the relationships never worked out.” You shrugged lamely.

It’s not like you’re admitting all your past relationships were a bust, it just wasn't the type of love that was true. If any of your exes had gifted you yellow flowers, you're not sure if it would’ve had the type of impact you’ve always imagined. All your relationships had their highs, but they also had their lows, hence why they all ended and why none of them had gifted you your yellow flowers. 

You still had the hopeless romantic thought that The One would come into your life and you’d know if they were The One if they gifted you your flores amarillas like you've dreamed of. 

“Ah, well that’s interesting!” You looked over as Kili smiled at you, apparently losing interest in the conversation. Glancing at Fili, you noted that he seemingly wasn't paying attention to your entire spiel; thankfully in his own thoughts.

Your mind reels back from the memory. You knew exactly why you didn't remember that because you were embarrassed for the rest of the day because you had gotten emotional during the conversation. While you were already getting close to the brothers, you still were embarrassed that so early on you had opened up about your pathetic love life so much that you blocked it from your mind.

“I thought you weren’t listening when I was talking about that to Kili?” You questioned.

“Of course I was listening, every time you spoke I was captivated.” Fili’s smile softens.

Biting your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from grinning, you let him continue.

“When you had answered Kili's question with that, it took me by surprise but I found myself enamored by the way you spoke about the custom. So when I heard you speak about your culture, I knew it meant a lot to you not only due to the meaning but because it reminded you of your world.” He reaches a hand toward you, “While I am thankful you're here with me, I know that you also were pulled from the world you knew, so by talking about your culture it comforted you.” 

Your eyes began to water, God, you truly loved him. 

“I knew I wanted to incorporate this day in our lives so I thought what better yet than to propose to you with something that reminded you of your culture back home.” 

Your eyes widen, “I knew you were my One the moment I set eyes on you. So, will you marry me, amrâlimê? Will you grant me the privilege of spending the rest of your life in your new home with me?” 

“Of course I’ll marry you, Fili.” Leaping over you toppled both of your bodies to the ground with your hug. 

Landing on your sides, Fili pulls away quickly, “Don’t crush your flowers!” 

“Oh, oops, sorry.” You laugh before grabbing and smelling the bouquet, “Where’d you get these?” 

“Oh, I got them in Dale this morning,” 

“Oh my gosh.”

He laughs, “Yeah I’ve been writing to a botanist who has a flower shop in town, because I was wanting real yellow flowers for you.” 

“Flores amarillas.”

“What?” Fili looks at you.

“Flores amarillas, it means yellow flowers in Spanish.”

He smiles at you and slowly repeats, “flores amarillas.”

Giggling, you nodded.

Grinning at Fili, you made a mental note to teach him Spanish.

[jackinalex]

I have an idea that is impossibly ambitious and may end up being a complete disaster, but if it works, it’ll be an awesome event for our little fandom. As a fan fiction reader and writer, I know how important interaction is for the longevity of fanfics in the fandom. In order for readers to have content to read, writers have to write. And for writers to write, they need feedback and love. Comments and kudos are great, but have you ever wanted to take it a step forward? As a reader, have you ever wondered what you could do to encourage your favorite writers and give back? Have you ever wondered if your work is honor-worthy? I certainly have, and for that reason, I want to host fanfic awards! 

Here’s how I think it will work: For my concept, it will be completely fan-nominated and fan-voted. I have come up with categories and stipulations, but I am open to suggestions for both. I plan to create a Google Form in which fans can nominate stories for each category, and the stories that are nominated the most for each will become the nominees (or if there are few votes, then all suggestions will become official nominees). Then, I will create a second Google Form in which the official nominees will be voted upon. The nominees in each category that gain the most votes will win! I’m still trying to come up with prizes, but at this point, I think an official graphic that winners can display on their blogs, profiles, etc. will be enough, as with the official titles. If you have an idea for prizes, let me know! 

Stipulations for Nominations: 

-Please only nominate one story per writer for each category. To clarify, you can nominate a story by your favorite writer for two categories, but not two in the same category. 

-Please only nominate stories from the past five years (I want to try and highlight stories from the more modern era since our fandom has fallen off. The writers who have been here deserve some recognition!) This does not pertain to the Legacy Fic award. 

-Please don’t nominate a fic in one category more than once. I’m not collecting emails for privacy reasons, but it isn’t fair to nominate one fic five or six times. Give other fics a chance! 

-You may nominate one fic in more than one category if the fic will fit into that criteria. However, I will likely use my best judgment to determine if the fic needs to be in both categories. 

-Please only nominate fics in the All Time Low fandom.

-Please CAREFULLY read the criteria for each category before nominating. Also, be sure to check the year a fic was last updated/posted to ensure that it is from the past five years (nothing past 2019). Fics can be posted anywhere (ex. ao3, wattpad, mibba, etc.) 

Categories: 

-Best Fluff (any pleasant, feel-good work)

-Best Angst (main plot has to do with prevalent physical or, mainly, emotional torment of characters)

-Best Smut (focuses on sexual activity)

-Best Kink (fics focusing on a specific kink(s) rather than just sexual activity)

-Best Crossover (fics featuring members of ATL and members of other bands, actors, etc.)

-Best Drabble (fic under 1000 words)

-Best One Shot (single-chapter work)

-Best Ongoing (fic that is still being written)

-Best Completed (fic that is multi-chaptered and completed)

-Best Legacy Fic (an iconic fic that is well-known and respected in the fandom and has been for many years)

Please direct any questions, comments, or suggestions to my ask box! More information will be out as more is decided.

The nomination form. 

[bengiyo]

We Must All Get Louder and Gayer About La Pluie Immediately

I understand that this show only airs on iQIYI and that most of us canceled that after KinnPorsche and/or Love in the Air, but I’m gonna need y’all to re-up those subscriptions and get on this train right now. This and Step By Step have been some of the most intriguing romance explorations we’ve had in the realm of Thai BL in a long time, and you are missing out on this incredibly breakdown of the soulmate and fast romance tropes that I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve seen some consternation about whether this show is honoring or defying conventions within romance and BL, and I don’t think that’s the most enjoyable way to engage with a piece of media in a mature genre. I think it’s more useful to ask questions like:

How is this show using those conventions?

What do these conventions fit?

What new things have we learned about ourselves or the genre as a result?

We’ve been unpacking the soulmate idea from the very beginning (@lurkingshan). The show upended our expectations about that from the opening scenes by showing us a romantic man who doubts in his own romantic destiny because his parents divorced. The show has then gone on to state quite plainly that it believes that the hearing loss connection is entirely coincidental, and that what people do in their relationships with other people is what matters the most.

We are sitting in the audience, and so we know that this is a romance. We fully understand that Tai and Patts will more than likely be together at the end of this story. What that knowledge and expectation allows the show to poke at the development of relationships in dramas. The characters are in a slow burn romance, but everyone in their lives doesn’t think they should be! That’s been incredibly fascinating because we so often see BL characters rushed into a relationship with each other that we are always surprised when they aren’t (Bad Buddy, My School President, Bed Friend). It’s been incredibly enjoyable for me to see a romance refuse to rush their characters into commitment with each other.

My good friend @lurkingshan wrote about this subversion of tropes and expectations this morning as they pertain to Lomfon. She makes the point that we expected Lomfon to be a bigger factor going into episode 7 than he was, and that’s also I think part of the point. He’s not a threat to the core romance, but he does have a role to play in this story. For me, I think he’s here to reinforce that skepticism and doubt are critical to making any sort of relationship or belief system function. Your ability to handle new challenges and things that confuse you are critical to being able to maintain a commitment. It doesn’t work if it’s forced.

As for misunderstandings, this show also continues to be intentional about this. As far back as episode 4, Dream chided Patts for not making things clear with Nara. Patts listened but hoped that his non-answer would be enough for Nara. Likewise, Bow has warned Tai twice about Lomfon’s clear desire for him, and how by not making things clear Tai may also face difficulties.

This comes to a head this week with Nara. I agree with @ginnymoonbeam that Nara’s return lets the narrative blow up Tai’s uncertainties he’s left bubbling since the beginning. I personally love Nara’s reintroduction here because Tai is romantic and because he genuinely seemed to like Nara. He liked that she still knew how to take care of her ex. He liked the determination she showed to travel all the way to Chiang Mai to pursue him. He was rooting for her! Even if he misunderstands the kiss, it’s not really about the kiss. It’s about the fact that someone he admires cares for Patts, and he likely worries that he’s the reason they didn’t work out. He’s also still questioning if the mutual attraction between himself and Patts can be trusted.

Moving on to the intimacy, I wrote last week about the way this show has made it clear that these are two men interested in each other. Following up on that this week, we entered an incredible liminal space in their relationship. Patts signaled earlier in the episode when they first got to their room that he is hoping to pick up where they left off with their last intimate moment. Both went into this bed fully aware of the sexual tension between them.

Tai is the one who opens the door this time by first offering the massage and then initiating the kiss. Things heat up between them, with Tai again on top to remain in control of the situation, something @shouldiusemyname points out here. Tai once again asks Patts to stop when he moves to escalate the encounter, but Tai shows Patts that he is interested in him. He offers to help him out by performing the act that Patts was most certainly going to do last week. This is incredibly fascinating for me, because I have always asserted that bottoms are the ones in most control of an encounter. I do not read Tai choosing to take care of Patts as him giving up control in any way. In fact, it’s a way for him to further maintain it. He reassures Patts that he is happy to be here and lets them release the tension of the moment.

Also, I just absolutely lose it over the lip flick.

gif by @pharawee​

Once again, I cannot overstate how radical it is for me to see a show saying that the one performing the act is the one in control of the encounter, and has the character who’s feeling unsure use that as a way to explore their own feelings. Tai needed to know that he likes making Patts happy. Please list the other BLs that have done this with sex in the notes. It’s not very often we get this!

Also, look at this man. This is not the face of a man who is being coerced. This is the afterglow of two people navigating their intimate relationship (@ginnymoonbeam).

He’s literally rubbing his hand because as they spoon because he’s so relieved.

I also just absolutely love Patts. I love that he keeps leaving notes for Saengtai to make sure he knows where they are.

Look at him walking around the next morning. He seems pleased...like a man can seem pleased.

We just never get this kind of stuff in genre. This is a classic romance of the Nora Roberts variety that’s allowing us to show two men navigating their romance and intimacy on their terms while also showing that even fated mates must be good partners to each other. This is a story that loves romance and loves the conventions of the drama. It is approaching each thread with clear-eyed conviction, and we as queer viewers deserve this.

So, I’m going to need you all to get louder, weirder, and gayer about this show. We gotta get more people on this one. We can’t let this show be forgotten because it’s not on YouTube.

Once again, thank you for coming to my post.

tagging @wen-kexing-apologist​ and @kyr-kun-chan​ for all the conversation we’ve had about this show.

[glitchy-anime-fan]

This might be just me, maybe I’m missing something, but I feel like some people who criticise EPIC!Odysseus for killing an infant but drawing the line at sleeping with Circe might not be taking into consideration how literally every event Odysseus has face since Troy has affected him as a person and how much guilt he’s continually facing.

To preface; THIS IS NOT ME HATING ON OTHER FANS!! I’m not trying to bully anyone or make fun of anyone, this is just something that has been in my head and I need to rant about it. This also only pertains to EPIC’s depiction of Odysseus, not any other interpretation of the character/story!

[minor grammatical edits made on 2/25/2024)

I saw a discussion on here the other day where the parties involved were talking about the changes made between the original Homeric story and EPIC. One of the main points of contention that I remember was how one of them said it rubbed them the wrong way that Odysseus was fine with killing an infant but didn’t want to sleep with Circe. I can totally understand why this may be an odd choice of morality to make, however, we have to keep in mind that the Odysseus from the Troy Saga is VERY different than the Odysseus in the Circe saga. Troy Saga Odysseus appears to be far more confident in himself and his plans; one could even argue that he’s a bit cocky. As stated by Odysseus in the ocean saga, NONE of his own men died in the battle which would add to Odysseus’ confidence and pride. This is vastly different than the grief stricken Odysseus later in the story, but more on that later.

Now the infant scene in question doesn’t necessarily set in stone Odysseus’ moral/ethical code; one could say the situation itself is an ethical dilemma (a problem with no one right answer). Odysseus is told by Zeus, king of the gods, that if he doesn’t kill Hector’s baby than Odysseus’ entire family (perhaps even kingdom) is in grave danger. However, Odysseus doesn’t make a decision right away, I’m mean the entire second song of the saga is Odysseus mulling over his options; kill an infant or risk his families safety. Neither option is preferable and I think “Just a Man” is meant to show that Odysseus isn’t a man who would readily kill a child, no questions asked, just because he was told to. In “The Infant and the Horse” Odysseus is ready to comply until he discovers that the “foe” he’s meant to kill is an infant. I mean, he literally pleads with Zeus to give him another option;

[ODYSSEUS, ZEUS]

I could raise him as my own (He will burn your house and throne)

Or send him far away from home (He'll find you wherever you go)

Make sure his past is never known (The gods will make it known)

I'd rather bleed for ya, down on my knees for ya (He's bringing you down on your knees for ya)

I'm begging please

Oh, this is the will of the gods

Please don't make me do this, don't make me do this

This part alone shows that Odysseus is, in fact, NOT fine with killing a child. Again, the second song in the saga is Odysseus going over his options and even asks for forgiveness when he finally makes his decision. I don’t know about you all, but I don’t think someone who’s okay with killing a child would ask for forgiveness. In this situation it’s very likely that Odysseus made the choice to protect his family and kingdom above all else, which I feel like is a valid choice in this situation. Odysseus was told, by a god, that him and his family would be killed should the baby live, I highly doubt Odysseus at this point was readily willing to try and call Zeus’ bluff.

It’s also not like the action didn’t affect Odysseus later. Again, I’m sure someone who wouldn’t have a guilty conscience about such a heinous act would ask for forgiveness. Similarly, two songs later in “Open Arms”, Polites brings up Odysseus’ guilt at the end when he says “I see in your face, there is so much guilt inside your heart”. Odysseus is clearly guilty about what he’s done, once again reinforcing that he is not “okay with killing an infant”. You can also pick up on it in the way Jay sings Odysseus’ songs following “Just a Man”; Odysseus seems to be more distracted or distant likely due to the shock of his own actions.

Similarly, we have to take into consideration literally every new traumatic incident Odysseus is faced with between the Cyclops and Ocean sagas. In the Cyclops Saga, Polyphemus kills a large number of Odysseus’ crew which would make this the first heavy loss Odysseus’ army would have faced since the war. I can imagine that this loss would have been a huge blow to Odysseus’ pride given the fact that none of his men died in the war. Similarly, since Odysseus is their captain and king, it’s fair to assume that Odysseus may see the deaths as his fault adding to his guilt.

Not only does he lose many in his crew, Odysseus also loses his best friend Polites which greatly effects Odysseus throughout the rest of the musical. In “Keep Your Friends Close” when the crew is scheming to open the bag of wind from Aeolus, they say “Everything's changed since Polites,” referring to how much Polites’ death not only effected Odysseus but also the crew. Odysseus becomes more and more closed off and distrusting which makes sense since it seems Polites was the one that mainly pushed Odysseus to be more open. This is another death that Odysseus can tack onto the growing list of reasons his guilt is eating him alive.

Side note: Odysseus also looses the support of Athena, his patron goddess following “My Goodby”. Athena has been someone who we can assume (given Athena’s story during “Warrior of the mind”) has been guiding Odysseus since he was a child so, even if Odysseus is no longer happy with Athena’s view on being a good warrior, it likely hurt him on some level to loose her. We have to keep in mind; Odysseus also thought of Athena as a friend not just a goddess and has thought this way since he met Athena. If we assume that Athena and Odysseus have never had a fight this bad until “My Goodby” then I think it’s fair to say that the outcome of the fight would negatively impact Odysseus. He may be too prideful to admit it at the time, but I can only imagine how awful it would feel to loose the support of a friend and patron deity at the same time.

I think one of the biggest blows yet for Odysseus comes during “Ruthlessness” when Poseidon and/or the Laestrygonians sink and kill everyone but Odysseus and his immediate crew mates (as in, the crew on Odysseus ship as apposed to those on the other twelve ships). As I mentioned earlier, throughout the ten years Odysseus and his army were in Troy not one of his men died. This changed when they faced Polyphemus, and only worsens when Poseidon attacks. Odysseus goes from having a crew of 600 (at the start of the musical) to 43 following this attack. Not only does he loose nearly all his men, it’s directly Odysseus’ fault it happened in the first place. Poseidon tells Odysseus directly that they “totally could have avoided all this had [Odysseus] just killed [Poseidon’s] son”.

Had Odysseus just listened to Athena at the time and killed Polyphemus, there would have been no one left to tell Poseidon about the attack; the god likely wouldn’t have known. Likewise, had Odysseus not let his hubris get the better of him and not told Polyphemus his full name, even if Poseidon found out his son had died or was left blind, he wouldn’t have known who did it. The whole situation is directly Odysseus’ fault and Poseidon is very clear in letting him know that. This obviously is going to add to Odysseus’ guilt exponentially since this time it truly was his own actions that lead to this scenario. Not to mention that had Odysseus just apologised, Poseidon might have been gracious to the crew.

Now there’s no saying what that would look like for Poseidon, maybe he would have only sunk one or two ships or maybe he was lying, who knows. The main point is that Odysseus was given another chance to get out of this peacefully, but he can’t swallow his pride long enough to say “I’m sorry”. Odysseus instead tries to talk his way out of it and Poseidon isn’t having it; this is another instance of Odysseus’ actions resulting casualties. All of this happens before the Circe saga mind you.

So let’s review all the instances that would be causing Odysseus guilt so far:

He’s been forced to kill a child to save his family and kingdom

He’s lost his best friend and a chunk of his crew to Polyphemus

He’s lost the support of his patron goddess who he has also seen as a friend since childhood

He’s lost 90% of his crew (give or take) due to his own actions

You cannot look at this and tell me that it would not greatly affect your mental health in any way. Odysseus is being weighed down by an immense about of grief and guilt as the story continues. It gets to be so much that in Puppeteer Odysseus tells Eurylochus that while he would like to leave Circe’s island, he can “hardly sleep now knowing everything [they’ve] done”, directly referring to the guilt that keeps weighing on his mind. By this point in the story Odysseus is so wracked with guilt that he would rather risk his own life to save the few men he has left that add anymore to his guilty conscience.

I see this as one reason why Odysseus rejects Circe’s advances. Odysseus went to save his men who were transformed because he already can’t sleep and doesn’t want to add any more guilt onto his mind. Do we really think he would change this stance just so he could sleep with a goddess? The thought of cheating on Penelope would likely cause Odysseus just as much guilt as leaving his men. This situation poses a similar dilemma to the very beginning of the story; Odysseus can either comply and free his men or not. In this moment Odysseus is in a lose-lose situation, however, he doesn’t let that stop him from trying to essentially create a third option that doesn’t add to his guilt.

And he’s successful this time.

Unlike he pleaded with Zeus, is seems that for one reason or another Odysseus is successful in pleading with Circe; he is able to create a third option for himself and his crew. He’s able to create a reality where his remaining crew survives and Odysseus doesn’t add anymore to his guilt.

Again, this is not about the original story, or other interpretations, this is solely based on what we know from EPIC. In short; Odysseus pleaded and begged with Zeus not to make him kill Astyanax, to give him a third peaceful option but failed. Odysseus is given a whole song about his own moral struggle in the options given to him and is then haunted by the guilt of his actions. He is then faced with the death of his crew due to his own actions, becoming not only a point of further guilt but also a shot at his pride. Odysseus looses Athena’s favour and looses Polities. While Odysseus may have begun to cave to Circe, I believe it was ultimately his love for his family and his desire to not add to his guilt that made him reject Circe.

Odysseus was never okay with killing an infant, he felt guilty likely from the moment he made his final decision. By the time he meets Circe, Odysseus would rather attempt to talk his way out (something that hasn’t actually worked till now) than add to his guilt. I’m truly not sure what I’m missing that, in the context of the musical, this isn’t obvious. Maybe it’s because I’m taking EPIC as its own story and not a one-to-one with the source material, who knows.

Sorry this got really long, I just needed to get it out somewhere before it plaques my mind anymore. Once again, I’m not trying to hate on anyone or bully anyone, this is just my own opinion on the matter!

[mushroomnoodles]

info

mush/noodle · he/him · 21

read the FAQ?

hi. i draw sfw, nonfetish mpreg. of simon petrikov. i dont take requests unless im particular to them + simon related. but im willing to discuss and answer questions you have abt the whole.. mpreg simon thing lol, and you're always welcome to suggest things you want to see pertaining to my content, just uh.. be patient, and be aware im only gonna post simon stuff lol. i dont do a/b/o either. my blog is very fluff + angst forewarning. i aint afraid to touch heavier topics but i try my best to tw them accordingly.

i have a group of running aus and sometimes my content isn't just mpreg. im extremely uncomfortable with proship. please dont be horny on my art, i will block you. other than that im pretty chill

my art tag is #i have a mproblem, i also have #golbaby and #golbaby +1000 if youre looking for the baby or them in 1000 years. #my style is for works in my non-at art style. au tags beneath the cut :)

MAIN TIMELINE AUS (morrigan is the child of GOLBetty and the Simon in the show)

#plainvanilla the default timeline. the au color is purple. #wizardbetty (petrigrof semi-fix it au where simon is brought back in time into an alternate universe where betty survived as a budding wizard in the nuclear fallout, where he has to navigate the apocalypse while pregnant. eventually, morrigan creates a portal back to ooo, and the two try their best to get back to normal life while raising golbaby and trying to relate to humans from a time that is not their own.) the au color is blue.

#spicywizardbetty (similar to wizardbetty but simon is brought to the present day in her au. betty has full MMS and thinks he is her universe's simon come back to be with her.) the au color is the same blue as wizardbetty's.

#replacement dad (morrigan kidnaps an ice king from another universe and uses their transmutation abilities to change the wiring to bring that simon back and change the crown's appearance enchantment to make him resemble their dad. this simon, referred to as Imon or Ice Simon, is kept in morri's pocket dimension while they "fix" him.) this au has no set color. #bad end. (au where morrigan is unable to break the seal placed on them and is born 6 months after their due date; exhausted from trying to break the seal for so long, they drain the life of everything around them and it ends up killing everyone in the candy kingdom. marcy is a chaos creature now and pb is a monstrosity akin to the mother gum) this one is super angsty! the au color is grey. #forever seal (au where the seal placed on morrigan is extremely powerful and meant to be permanent, or at least until pb can figure out how to neutralize golbaby's powers; simon runs off shortly afterwards and is desperately seeking some way to break the seal on his baby. a wanted man, he travels ruins and hunts for artifacts and researches spells, while trying not to garner any attention from the townsfolk he lives with.) the au color is dark green.

#creaturewizards (arguably the most canon divergent, where wizards are all different kinds of mythical creatures. simon was turned into a sphinx and retains the species after being digested by GOLB, where betty becomes a harpy before becoming GOLBETTY. when she impregnates simon, he is expecting a whole litter instead of just morrigan.) the au color is brown.

MAJOR AUS (these universes do not feature morrigan as a golbaby, and the simons, betties, etc are different)

#candyworld (au where simon and betty are recreated as candy people, with betty being the candy elemental in pb's place. eventually she gains proper sentience with no candy person dumb dumb and overthrows pb, becoming the incredibly territorial candy witch.) the au color is pink.

#vamparents (au where simon and betty are vampires in the vampire king's inner circle, known as THE HANGED MAN and THE WORLD separately, and THE LOVERS together. betty was ambushed by a vampire before the mushroom war and was turned, before biting simon to save him from death by radiation poisoning.) the au color is maroon.

#lichtrikov (au where the host body The Lich chooses is the corpse of Simon Petrikov, unwittingly incurring GOLBetty's wrath. there is an alternate timeline of this where she impregnates him with a child meant to punish him forever by rendering him useless.) the au color is green.

#magic morri (au where magic betty and ice king stay together and have morri, who is then taken and raised by pb and marcy) the au color is teal. #dreamtime au (very tiny au following a dream i had once where magic betty turned ice king back into simon successfully after learning he was pregnant. ice king's personality is not entirely gone.) the au color is very loosely dark blue, but doesn't have a set color either.

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Shifting Wings: Chapter Four

Shifting Wings: Before the Raven Matthew, there was Jessamy, and Jessamy came with a little sister by the name of Adrienne. Dream adores his two little Ravens, but after over a hundred years of imprisonment and the death of Jessamy, Dream will find that he has not just lost his companion, but his beloved little Raven Adrienne no longer brightens the halls of his Palace. None of his staff wish to speak of where the Raven has gone, but the silent new resident of the palace is cause for question. After all, she was the one who aided in his release. If none of his subjects would help him find Adrienne, perhaps she could lead him to the whereabouts of the missing Raven. If only the woman wasn’t so flighty and hard to track down.

Warnings: Angst.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x FemaleRaven!Reader, NAMED Reader (I like the name).

Word Count: ~2.1k

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1916, The Dreaming

Morpheus was reading to you, a past time you had wormed out of him much to his confusion for why you wanted him to read to you. You knew perfectly well how to read these days, could flip your own pages, had read an innumerous amount of books since becoming a raven. But he found that it was, at times, hard to say no to you. He would never admit that he enjoyed your active seeking of his company. So here he was with you perched on the arm rest of his throne while he read you one of the newest books to appear in the library.

It was a book of poems, The Road Not Taken, by a mortal named Robert Frost, you found that you rather liked listening to the poems. Or maybe it was Morpheus’s voice. You liked the sound of it just as much. Morpheus finished up the last poem in the book and slowly closed the heavy leather bound book.

“Are you still awake, my raven?” Morpheus softly asked, knowing that on occasion, you fell asleep. A sight he rather enjoyed. But no, you had not fallen asleep this time and waddled your way to the end of the arm rest.

“Quite so,” You replied, tilting your head. “And I don’t always fall asleep.” Morpheus raised an eyebrow in counter and you stamped your foot. “I mean it! I’m listening!”

“So you say,” Morpheus echoed, enjoying the way you worked yourself up. It was when your true personality shone the brightest and your melancholy of being a raven was momentarily forgotten. Morpheus’s eyes dropped to the little anklet wrapped around your left leg. It had a little ruby hanging off of it that matched the one he wore around his neck. It was a gift that he had gotten you  years past after Jessamy mentioned your birthday.

While mortal celebrations such as birthdays were not celebrated within The Dreaming, Jessamy had planned out a small party for your 150th birthday. Many of the palace staff had given you unique trinkets from around the realm, even some found in other realms. Morpheus had mulled over what gift to give you, knowing that you already had all material possessions you could want. Certainly when it pertained to your passion of art. Jessamy had saved the day once again, suggesting that you would love something he created.

Morpheus had thought a ruby would be appropriate, as the red color fit nicely against your midnight and pearl colored feathers. It was also nice to have every visitor in the realm see that you were his beloved raven. You had glowed when he presented to you and you glowed every time it was mentioned, and then showed it off to anyone who would look.

“You’re staring, am I molting again without realizing it? Do I have pin feathers sticking out?” You asked, titling your head to the side before turning in a circle and inspecting your plumage. You couldn’t see any wayward feathers… but that didn’t mean they weren’t there.

“Be at peace, Adrienne, for there is naught a single feather out of place,” Morpheus assured you, fingers catching the side of your face and drawing your gaze back to his. “I was merely appreciating the divine Corvus perched upon my throne.”

“You’re flattering me… what are you about to do?” You accused him, narrowing your eyes at Morpheus and once again, hitting the nail on the head. Morpheus sighed at your ability to see through him.

“Adrienne…”

“No,” You tutted, hopping a few paces so you were out of reach of his bewitching touch. “I know when you and Jessamy are about to leave The Dreaming, you are consistently trying to get in my good graces. Where are you off to this time?”

“A Nightmare has gone rogue, Jessamy and I will be setting out to retrieve him.” Morpheus explained, running the back of his fingers down your neck. You stared hard into his eyes for a few moments before deciding that he was telling the truth. Not that he had ever told you an untruth.

“A rogue Nightmare,” You mused to yourself, mind thinking over who the fool was to go against Morpheus. “Which one? And why are you going to retrieve them? Can’t you just tell one of the others to go get him?”

Morpheus shook his head.

“I fear that it is one of the great arcana’s, that has strayed from his task.” He explained to you. “I shall go and retrieve him myself.” When it became apparent that Morpheus wasn’t going to tell you who had strayed from their task, you pressed further.

“You didn’t answer which one rebelled.” You pointed out. Morpheus, try as he might, couldn’t hide everything from you. You were the sibling of Jessamy and neither of you missed anything. You took a threatening step (it was hardly threatening to the Endless) towards Morpheus. “Who was it!?”

“Adrienne,” Morpheus started to speak, you cut him off.

“This isn’t something you need to protect me from!” You pointed out. “If it’s a threat to The Dreaming then I should know! You know ignorance is the biggest threat of them all.” Morpheus disagreed, sometimes knowing was far more dangerous, but he wouldn’t argue with you. He didn’t want to argue with you.

“I fear that it is The Corinthian who has gone astray,” Morpheus admitted to you, drawing a finger to the underside of your beak. “But you are not to interfere, Adrienne.” He warned you, his eyes sparkling with his astral power for a moment. “Am I clear?”

You weren’t so rebellious to not recognize a serious warning that you’d do well to heed.

“How bad is it?” You asked quietly, slumping where you stood, worry now filling your tiny body. Morpheus gaze turned gentle once more.

“Have no fear for Jessamy and I, my precious Adrienne, we are only going out to retrieve the Corinthian.” Morpheus soothed and reassured you. “We shall be back before you finish your sketch.”

“I told you that I only have an hours work left.“ You said skeptically.

“Precisely,” Morpheus spoke before rising from the throne and setting the book aside. He summoned his helm and donned it, then turned back to you. “Wait for me, Adrienne, and we shall start the next book in our stack. There is nothing to worry about,” He promised, then drawing out his pouch of sand, you watched as Morpheus transported himself from the realm.

“Then why do I have a bad feeling?” You whispered to an empty throne room.

You were mindlessly dragging your pencil across parchment, in a trance and dissociating from your surroundings. The only sound in your studio was the scratching of your pencil and your little feet twisting around on your work table. Lowering the pencil from the parchment, you examined the sketch of Morpheus with Jessamy perched on his shoulder. You didn’t know why you felt so composed to sketch it. Maybe it was the fact that despite Morpheus giving you his word that he would be back within an hour, both of them had yet to return after three hours.

Then again, time was weird within The Dreaming, so perhaps you had once again let it pull you into its grasp. Your head turned to the silent clock hanging on the wall. No. It had been three hours since Jessamy and Morpheus left. Late. Dream of the Endless was never late. Dream of the Endless never broke his promises. The pencil slipped from your grasp and you let it roll along the table and fall to the floor.

“I’d hate to harass Lucienne, but this is not normal.” You spoke to yourself, not able to hold back the growing worry within your small body. Abandoning the sketch, you took flight and opened a hole in the realm to fly directly to the library. Flying from your art studio to the library, you soared through the shelves and spotted Lucienne shelving a stack of books. You flared your wings and coasted down, landing on the top of the shelf. Lucienne looked up at you.

“Hello Adrienne, what brings you by the library.” You shifted your wings nervously, not wanting to bother her, but knowing that something was indeed wrong.

“Morpheus and Jessamy aren’t back yet,” You explained softly. “It’s been three hours.” Lucienne’s eyebrow went up and she adjusted her spectacles.

“Perhaps they found other business to attend to,” Lucienne offered.

“He promised he wouldn’t even be an hour, Luce, he said to wait for him,” Your voice dropped to a whisper. “He— he promised.”

That had Lucienne’s back going ramrod straight, for she knew that when Morpheus made promises, especially to you, he always kept his word. There was no one in the universe that Morpheus cherished more than you, and if he hadn’t kept a promise to you? Something was gravely wrong.

“Can you still feel Jessamy?” Lucienne asked, knowing that you and Jessamy were connected through your shared blood. You bobbed your head and shuffled in place, your ruby anklet jangling.

“Yes, that was the first thing I checked when the hour was up. You know Jess, she doesn’t play around, she’d make sure they found Cori and brought him back. She wouldn’t let anything get in their way. If they were going to change plans they’d tell me,” You said, your true anxiety leeching into your voice. “Luce, I haven’t heard anything from them.”

Everyone in the palace waited for Morpheus to return. Some with bated breath, others sure that the Endless simply had gotten caught up in business. But then days turned into weeks, and weeks to months. Soon years were trickling by, Endless and raven still missing. You always kept hope in your heart, certain that they would come back. They wouldn’t leave you all alone. But they never came and you sat perched on the armrest of Morpheus’s throne, waiting.

You didn’t know if it was your faith in Morpheus and Jessamy that kept you waiting, or your love for them. Jessamy was your rock, grounding you to The Dreaming and keeping you stable in your immortal life. Morpheus was the one who held you heart. To lose either of them would hurt you irreparably.

Night and day you sat there, waiting. It felt like agony to you, and it was by Lucienne and Mervyn’s despair that you barely took care of yourself. You often found yourself curled up on Morpheus’s throne, hoping that when you woke up they would be there. That Morpheus would be staring down at you in amusement as he chastised you for sleeping in his seat. You would give anything to be chastised by him again. But they never came back. Jessamy never came swooping back into the throne room. Morpheus never returned in a swirl of starry eyes and dark hair.

Then one day, nearly ten years after their disappearance, you were numbly helping Lucienne shelve books in the library. She had convinced you to leave the throne room, a very rare occurrence. Clicking across the table full of books, you were about to tug the next book of a pile when a blinding pain hit your chest and you let out a scream. Lucienne spun around to look at you just as your body flopped onto the table top and you convulsed.

Pain was blistering all over your body, like hot rocks were digging into your flesh. You flailed, your wings flapping like crazy while you struggled to breathe. Just as quickly as that blinding pain had come, it disappeared and you were left feeling a deep emptiness. While you gasped for air and tried to understand what had just happened, Lucienne’s hands gently righted your twisted body.

“Adrienne!?” Lucienne called, alarmed by your scream and worried that something terrible had happened. “Adrienne what happened?” You whimpered, knowing exactly what the hollowed emptiness you felt was. Not able to hold back your choked sob, you let out another terrible scream as tears dripped from your eyes.

“She’s gone!” You choked out, your wings flapping against the wood as you tried to grasp onto something to stop you from truly breaking down. Lucienne didn’t understand what you meant by ‘she’s gone’ at first, but the more your writhed around and the more you cried, the further her heart sank in her chest.

Only one event would cause you this much pain.

Lucienne collected you within her arms and held you against her chest to stop your thrashes, fearing that you would only hurt yourself. But in the end, nothing she could say or do would ever soothe the hurt you felt.

Date Published: 5/24/23

Last Edit: 5/24/23

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[so-long-soldier-writes]

Commitments

elijah mikaelson x fem!reader x kai parker | requested

summary: an argument breaks out when kai learns about elijah’s plan to propose to you. he had been making these plans himself, he just hadn’t expected the other man to do it without letting him know first. luckily, you intervene mid-fight and are able to settle it between them, proposing an agreement that suits you all

tags: poly relationship, arguments, talks of marriage, happy ending, fluff

word count: 1.3k

a/n: i hate the title, but not being able to title it was the only thing stopping me from publishing the request, which i didn’t want to do, so it’s kind of a bad title and i’m sorry about that. but, i hope you like it!

The minute you leave to go to your lunch date with Rebekah, Kai confronts the other man in your life about a small box he found in his nightstand. 

“What do you plan on doing with it?” He tries to square up the original after hearing it is, in fact, a ring. 

“I know you spent a lot of your life locked away, but I think you know why one would usually buy a ring.”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Are you going to propose to her?”

“If you must know, yes, I was planning on it.”

“You can’t do that,” he starts, only to be interrupted.

“And why not?”

“Because I was going to.”

“You must be joking. You don’t have the devotion for marriage, Malachai.”

“Maybe I do. How would you know?”

“Because I know you. We have been in this relationship for two years. We know each other just as much as we know her.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Elijah. I am devoted. Devoted to her.”

“I know you are. But what about marriage? It’s something else entirely.”

“Are you suggesting I’m not capable of it?”

“I’m merely suggesting that you are not able to handle something so binding. Marriage is a commitment.”

“I’ve been committed to your dumbass all these years.”

“You have, for her.”

“So what’s the problem then?”

Elijah sighs, “let’s not make this an argument.”

“Me? You’re the one starting shit!”

“Malachai, I-”

“And don’t fucking call me that, you know I hate it. Why do you think you get to propose to the girl we’re both dating? She can’t ride off into the sunset with you and leave me behind, and how do you know she even wants to marry you?”

“So now you’re telling her what she can and cannot do. That’s never a good sign of a healthy relationship, Mal-”

“Shut up! Stop calling me that! And I’m not telling her what to do, I’m only saying that there’s three of us in this relationship, and you can’t just break it up like that.”

“Of course we would work out the details later, but it is imperative that I-”

“No! We work out the details before we ask the life-changing decisions! And funnily enough, I was actually going to ask you about similar details when I found your little box - which, by the way, you should hide better - because I have been wanting to go out and buy my own little box for her, because I do love her, and I am willing to make that commitment!”

“It’s not a little box, Mal… Kai, it’s a ring.”

“I know that.”

“And did you just say you wanted to propose too?”

“Yes, I did. But unlike you, I care about her feelings towards you, so I wanted to ask you before I made any rash decisions.”

“I care about how she feels for you, Kai, I just planned to ask those questions pertaining to you after I asked the question.”

“Why after? Why not before? Why so secretive?”

“Kai, I’m not in the mood for doing this with you-”

“Actually, it makes so much sense. You’ve been really standoff-ish lately, and I’m guessing this is why. But why the attitude, huh? Guilt, maybe? Pity?”

“You’re taking this too far. I have not been meaning to come off a certain way. You are projecting your own fears onto me.”

“I cannot deal with your thousand year old pretentious vampire talk right now, Elijah, I-”

“Well I cannot deal with your sensitive, baby vampire feelings. So may I suggest we both end this before we drive ourselves crazy?!”

“I am not sensitive! You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

“I do, actually, quite know. And I know that you hate to admit it, but you are being sensitive, because you love Y/N so much and the thought of not having her kills you.”

“So then why are you taking her from me?! Why did you go and buy that-” 

“What’s going on?!” You shout into the room, effectively shutting up the two men. You could hear their muffled yelling from outside, tension settling in your bones at the noise. 

They both stop and stare at you. 

“Y/N,” Elijah coughs, “I thought you were meeting with my sister.”

“Something came up so we rescheduled. Why are you two arguing?”

It’s dead silent. 

“You better tell me right now. I thought we got over the two of you fighting.”

Kai wants nothing more than to spit out the truth, but the original would crucify him. Thankfully, Elijah sighs, “we are having a minor disagreement.”

“About what?”

“About you,” Kai says quietly.

“Yeah, I got that. Would someone like to expand?”

“I wanted to propose to you, Y/N,” Elijah finally admits. “But I hadn’t told Kai about this plan yet, so when he found the ring, he became upset.”

Your stomach flips, “propose? Elijah…”

“I love you, Y/N. You are the woman I want to spend my eternity with. But as it turns out, Malachai feels the same, he just hadn’t taken the same steps yet.”

“The steps?”

“I didn’t buy a ring because I wanted to make sure it was okay with him if I asked. But Elijah over here decided he’d just ask me after asking you,” Kai supplies. 

“You both?”

They nod. 

“Oh my god.” You sit down in the nearest chair to think. “God… I love you both, so much.”

“Would you?” Elijah starts, then continues when you look up at him, “marry one of us?”

“‘Lijah… I love you. I do want to live forever with you. But Kai, I love you, too. I can’t choose between you guys.”

“What are you saying, Y/N?”

“I’m saying I can’t marry either of you. I can’t break your hearts; I can’t commit to one; I can’t make that decision. I won’t.”

“But… you still want to be with us, right?” Kai stutters out, afraid your rejecting words are a break up. 

You turn to him immediately, “of course, Kai. That’s what’s stopping me from marrying either of you. I need you both in my life. If marriage is going to divide us, I don’t want it.”

“But Y/N, it’s the opposite. It’s what brings people together.”

“‘Lijah… marriage is a binding process sanctioned by the government. We can live and love without a piece of paper telling us to do that. We can be happy just being us.”

Kai visibly softens at your words. His shoulders relax and jaw untenses. “I am just happy to be with you, Y/N. Elijah, please say you agree.”

The more traditional man takes longer to give into the idea. 

“I love our relationship just the way it is,” you tell him. “And, since you already bought the ring, I will still wear it, if you want. Kai, you too. I can wear them both. As a symbol of our love, without going through all the yucky legal stuff to have it.”

Elijah sighs before smiling and agreeing. “An anti-proposal proposal. I’m for it.”

A huge smile takes over your face and you rush to hug them both. They return the favor with the same enthusiasm. 

“Now, if we may, I was going to give Bex my whole afternoon, but now I have nothing to do! Might my favorite boys join me on the bed with a movie?”

Kai springs up at the word ‘movie,’ and immediately fetches popcorn and snacks. You give Elijah one more kiss, thank him for agreeing to your wishes, and then send him off to find a movie. 

For the rest of the day, you lie cuddled in between your boys, sharing candy and kisses, until exhaustion settles in your bones. 

“Sleep, Y/N,” Elijah mutters, “we’ve got you.”

“We love you,” Kai mumbles, half asleep himself. 

You kiss both their hands, then start to drift off into a deep sleep. “I love you both, too.”

[ljnsdump]

What a Plot Twist You Were (Jisung x F!reader)

Jisung x F!reader

You can't force chemistry to exist where it doesn't, the same way you can't deny it when it does.

Genre: M/F, slight enemies to lovers, fluff, classmates, school setting no mature scenes because im not ready to imagine jisung in those scenes

Warnings: just a lot of bickering and probably cursing here and there, y/n is a spoiled brat

Word Count: 3,999

Hello! A Jisung oneshot because the man finally has an IG acc haha. As always, dont hesitate to give me feedbacks! Enjoy reading!

Read at your own risk.

------

"Y/N, don't make me let you pull out from that modelling." Her mom warns her sternly. "This is your final semester in high school. You'll be graduating soon and you will not be able to do that if you keep this up."

She rolls her eyes, knowing that her teacher is snitching on her again. As they should though. "Ma, it's fine. My grades are enough for me to be accepted in any university."

"No it's not!" She argues and puts the utensils down on the table that caused a loud sound. Y/N's dad holds her as if to calm her down. "Universities would prioritize those with higher grades and has better knowledge on the courses they want to take than you do."

"Whatever, you'll still get them to accept me anyway."

And that's the time both parents realized that they raised a spoiled brat.

It's monday and everybody is in their first class of the day.

"Okay class, as you may know this is your final semester. We will make sure that no one gets left behind so we came up with a way. We will do the buddy system. You guys will be paired up to your buddy and you will be responsible for each other for the rest of the semester. If one doesn't pass, the other will be questioned, so help each other out. If you have topics that are hard for you both, try to come up with ways so you both will be able to understand it. You can always come to me, other teachers and even students."

They all agreed and chose their buddy. Then Y/N and Jisung come into the room at the same time but from different doors. Y/N enters the front door with her ipad and coffee while Jisung comes in from the back with just his pen and a notebook.

Their teacher notices them both. "Oh good. You're both here." She says and looks at them back and forth. "You will be each other's buddy. You will be paired up for all school work for the entire semester. You will be responsible for each other's grades."

"What?" Y/N's eyebrows furrow. She heard what her teacher said perfectly but she just couldn't accept it. "He's not that smart! You're pairing me with someone who can't help me."

"You’re late, Miss Y/L/N. Both of you are. Everyone already chose who they wanted to be their pair. It's just the two of you remaining." She answers with stern voice. "And we tried pairing you up with Yunjin before." Pertaining to their top student in class. "But you ended up just letting her do everything."

Y/N looks at Jisung. "You're not saying anything about this?"

He just shrugs and goes to his seat. Y/N groans and does the same.

"Alright. Listen up. First task."

Jisung was the one who stood up first when class ended. He was about to exit the room when Y/N called him. "Park Jisung!"

He turns with an annoyed look on his face. "What?"

She walks to him. "Why did you not say anything earlier when she paired us? You know well both fail."

"I'm not that bad." He replies that she scoffs.

"Fine! Then what should we do about that stupid reporting?"

"I have to go. Just chat with me about your ideas and whatever." He starts to walk away.

And she follows his strides. "I don't have your number!"

"WhatsApp, Messenger, IG, Twitter." He lists down. "It's 2023."

Y/N scoffs in disbelief.

After class, she meets with her best friend who was with her boyfriend at a cafe nearby. They're both in 12th grade, Ningning is in a different class though.

"Hey, who's your pair?" Ningning, as soon as she sees Y/N.

Y/N groans and rolls her eyes. "Park Jisung."

"That sloppy, rugged soccer player?"

She nods. "Yup." Popping end of the word. "Hey, Jun." Y/N casually greets Ningning’s boyfriend who's playing on his phone.

"Oh, sup Y/N." And offers to bump fists.

She accepts with her fist as well. "Nothing much."

"Okay, let's order first." They all sit. "Love, what do you want?"

"A reuben would do, love." He replies.

They spent the remainder of the day talking about their lives and spilling teas.

When she got home, she decided to try out reading about the topic of their report but just minutes later, she plopped down on her bed because she got bored.

Y/N takes out her phone and decides to look for Jisung's account on messenger.

To: Park Jisung

Hey, what are we gonna do about this?

And she finished having dinner and even went to prepare for bed, he still hasn't replied yet.

To: Park Jisung

Park Jisung!

Still no reply. She runs her fingers over her hair in frustration. Jisung has two close friends, she remembered. Y/N looks up the name Zhong Chenle and the Chinese guy's photo pops up.

To: Zhong Chenle

Hey, just wondering if you're with Jisung. Please tell him to check his phone, we have to work on our project.

Just minutes later, a notification pops up saying she has a new message from Jisung.

From: Park Jisung

What?

Oh my god, he's unbearable, she thought.

To: Park Jisung

The project.

From: Park Jisung

Send me your thoughts and ideas about it.

To: Park Jisung

I have no thoughts nor any idea about it.

From: Park Jisung

Then what are we supposed to do?

To: Park Jisung

Idk, let's just meet up tomorrow after class to figure this out.

"Bro, what the hell." Jisung grunts as he puts his phone down and picks up the xbox controller. "She wants me to meet up with her after class. Why did we get paired up, we have no idea about these."

Jisung is currently in Sungchan's place with Chenle. They're playing video games like how they do every single day and not getting tired of it. "Finally you can get some." Chenle teases him.

"I heard she's double-jointed." Jisung's eyebrows furrow at Sungchan's joke, and looks at him with disgust on his face. While Sungchan and Chenle high five.

Jisung walked to Y/N's seat when their class ended. He watched her gather her things in a hurry and was surprised to see him.

"What?" She asks, forgetting that they planned to meet for their project today.

His eyebrows furrow, confused as well. "I thought we'll meet after class?"

"Oh yeah. About that, meet's cancelled. I have to go. Let's just pay someone to do that report." Then she takes off before he can say anything. Better for him though, he'll have the whole time to play his beloved games.

Y/N meets with her handler in a cafe after driving almost half an hour from the university.

"I'm here." She announces and gives a quick friendly hug from behind to her handler Joy. "Let's go?"

Joy turns to her as she stands up. "Okay, good. Let's go. Our client is very chic and very boss lady vibes, Y/N. She's picky and she definitely knows what she wants."

"That's cool. You know I'm here to impress."

"I do." Joy smiles as they walk fast towards the building across the cafe. "I've sent your file to them already. You've looked over the products that you'll be modelling for?"

"Yes, the jewelleries. I actually even own a couple of pieces from their brand. They're nice."

When they arrive, a tall lady in formal attire welcomes them.

"Hi, I'm Seulgi, Mrs. Laviste's assistant. She's waiting for you in her office."

The local company rents both the 3rd and 4th floors of the building for their offices and manufacturing facilities.

They arrive at the office, the woman stands up upon seeing them with a big smile to greet. "Welcome to Ligaya! I'm Flora Laviste, you can call me Mrs. Laviste." Offering her hand which Joy gladly took.

"This is my talent." Joy gestures to Y/N. "Y/N."

Y/N smiles and shakes hands with her as well. "Y/N Y/L/N."

"From what I heard, you're the youngest of Mr. And Mrs. Timothy Y/L/N, is that right?"

"Yes." She smiles. "Yes, I am."

They discuss for a few minutes in Flora's office then go to their in-house studio to shoot a few shots as a demo just for them to see how their products would look on her.

"We reviewed everything and we've decided to take you guys on your offer. She's very good." Nodding her head, applauding Y/N's skills. "We'll do the shoot on Saturday morning."

Friday came and it's time for them to present their report. Y/N came early to school to get the report she paid a college student for.

Holding the flashdrive in her hand, she thanks Yeri. "Thanks a lot Yeri! I really just can't do this on my own."

Yeri smiles. "No worries, Y/N. It was easier for me since we've been over the topic a couple of times already. I sent the file to you too through email."

Y/N sat beside Jisung when she arrived in their classroom. She specifically instructed him to come in early. "We just read what's on the presentation." She tells him.

His eyes shift, obviously in doubt. "Sure?"

"Yeah."

"Park and Y/N, you're up." Their teacher announces after the pair prior to them were done with theirs.

They set up on the computer and in no time, the first page of the slide flashes on the white board through the projector. 

"Our topic, the three main classes of carbohydrates." Y/N starts. She then continues to casually read the passages on the PowerPoint presentation which raises a brow of their teacher.

She stands up from her desk and walks towards the center walkway. "Pause, Ms. Y/L/N." The teacher raises her index finger. "You can't just click continuously on those pages without discussing them."

Y/N immediately protests. "But Mrs. Lim, these are self-explanatory."

"Good, then please explain them." She crosses her arms. "And Mr. Park, don't just stand there. Help out your buddy."

The two groans silently upon hearing their teacher's statement. Then Y/N looks at Jisung. "Help me explain it."

"You said it's self-explanatory." He whispers.

"I didn't think she'd let us explain it still after I said that."

After a few minutes of waiting and just looking at the two infront murmuring at each other, Mrs. Lim figures out they got nothing. "Alright, you two. Something's making me think that you both did not make this. I'm gonna let you re-do it this weekend and when we come back on Monday, I want you both to be able to explain and discuss it properly or else this reflects on my record book. Understand?"

Y/N grunts and removes her things from the desk to go back to her seat.

"Let's meet tomorrow morning." Jisung tells her.

"Can't, I have something very important. Afternoon."

"I have something important to do in the afternoon."

Y/N throws her pen to the floor, stomping her feet like a little kid throwing tantrums. "Why did we ever agree to this?!"

Jisung stands tall in front of her with a serious look on his face. "Don't throw tantrums on me, Y/N." He warns with his deep ass voice. "I'm not one of your maids."

"I-I didn't think you were." She nervously replies, blinking and shying away from his eyes. "I was just upset."

"Let's meet tonight."

"Mine or yours?"

"Mine."

At 7pm, Y/N arrives at the convenience store near Jisung's apartment. She immediately texts him.

To: Park Jisung

I'm here.

Hey!

Dude!

Park Jisung!

It's very cold here.

I'm gonna kill you.

8 minutes later

From: Park Jisung

Just hang on.

To: Park Jisung

I've been hanging on you idiot.

3 minutes later

From: Park Jisung

I'm coming down.

He, in his black hoodie and sweatpants approaches her and she almost had a heart attack. He looks like a kidnapper on his fit, the only thing that made her realize it is him is his nose. Weird.

"You look scary." She tells him.

He shrugs. "Yeah? Well... let's go."

They start to walk, her, following him from behind.

"Walk slowly."

"This is my normal pace. Your legs are just short."

Y/N stops and crosses her arms while watching him walk away. He did not notice until he finally crossed the road. He looks back and Y/N is still on the other side, glaring at him. Jisung can't help but laugh and put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he waits for the lights to go red again.

From: Park Jisung

Stay there.

Although she's far, he can see clearly that she rolled her eyes after reading his text.

As soon as the red light appears, he runs to her and grabs her wrist lightly, and they cross the street.

"Dickhead." She mumbles.

The apartment is definitely Jisung's, Y/N thought upon getting in. Empty red bull cans, chips packets, everything is everywhere. Chenle and Sungchan are there too, yelling at each other as they play.

Y/N looks at Jisung, suggestively while crossing her arms again.

He sighs. "Come on, guys. You need to go." Telling his two friends.

"What?! I thought we were---" Sungchan stops when he sees Y/N and the look on her face. "Time to go."

Chenle removes the headphones from his head. "So what if she's here, it's not like she's staying long anyway. And besides, bros over hoes."

Jisung immediately smacks his head. "That's the red bull talking."

"Oh yeah, she's the first. I'll consider." Chenle adds and this time Y/N is the one glaring at him.

Once they're out, Jisung kicks things out of the way. "My room is clean." Then walk towards there. And indeed it is. Shoes all over, but not in a messy way but it's on the walls like he's collecting them. And they're not just any shoes, they're all or at least that's how Y/N sees it, Jordan 1s.

Her mouth hangs open when she sees the display. "You collect?"

"Kinda."

Just minutes later, they're set up on the floor with their gadgets on the center table.

Y/N scratches the back of her head, getting frustrated over what they're doing. "This is so stupid. Carbohydrates are carbohydrates, what the fuck are those main classes for?!" She whines.

"Come on, Y/L/N. All we gotta do is read and understand then make a report."

"I wish it's as easy as saying it."

Jisung gets his hand off his keyboard. "It seems like you hate these subjects that we're taking. Why enroll under them?"

"Because they want me to be a doctor. Like any fucking Asian parent wants their kids to be."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be, it's not you."

They spent the night just talking about random things. She learned that Jisung prefers nights over days. He's got poop hands as what Chenle calls, meaning everything he touches just fails. He and his friends always play PUBG with Chenle's cousins from China. Random things.

But Jisung felt that Y/N is a good listener. She doesn't give her own opinions on his preferences, she finds everything he says cool, and she asks you about how you feel when you make that choice. It's like she's learning new things as they talk.

But they did not make any progress with their report.

It's almost 12 midnight. "I need to go home now." Y/N states after looking at her watch.

"Are you Cinderella or something?" He jokes.

"I have a shoot tomorrow morning. I can't look puffy." She replies. "You can come with me tomorrow morning. We'll work on this slowly."

Tomorrow came. They met at the cafè again. Y/N picked Jisung up from his place.

"Do you always bring other people aside from your own team to your gigs?"

"No. But it's fine. I can just introduce you as one of us."

They arrive and in no time, Y/N is all set. They also discusse sample shots for the campaign. Jisung just observes as he tries to work on their report.

"Your boyfriend's handsome." Mrs. Laviste says, giving her a teasing smile as they look over at him.

Y/N immediately shakes her head. "He's just my classmate. We got paired up for school work."

"He's been glancing and staring at you for the past few minutes."

"That's probably because he's doing everything and I'm here literally looking pretty."

They suit her up in a silk skin tone slip dress pointing focus on the jewelleries on her. A gold butterfly rests in between her clavicles, they take a shot of that. Her hands, her ears, they alternately put pieces of jewelries and take a few shots of it in all angles possible. Jisung couldn't help but stare. She's good. Great, actually. She gives what's needed from her.

"I just got off the phone with our male model. He won't be able to attend, he's suddenly having the flu." Says Mrs. Laviste's secretary.

Y/N lowkey raises her hand just enough to point at Jisung.

Joy tells Y/N, "You should talk to him."

Y/N nods. "Jisung-ah!" Jisung looks up at her. He sees her walking towards him. "We need a male model."

"And?"

"You'd be a great one. You're very tall, and your face is decent, you just need a little makeover."

He shakes his head. "I don't think I can. I just came here to work on our report."

"I'll help you. We have until tomorrow. Plus, the pay is good."

At the end, she was able to convince him to join the shoot. They set him in front of the mirror, Y/N helped out in picking up his fits. She laughs when she sees his eyes moving, afraid to move his body.

"You can move, idiot."

He looks at the makeup artist doing his face. "Really? I don't wanna mess up what they're doing."

"As long as you don't go crazy."

They do the shoot together first just so Jisung loosens up and then his solo shoot after. Y/N helps him a lot aside from the director.

"Jisung-ah, just a stoic face. This is a close up shot emphasizing the earring."

After several flashes, he's all done. Y/N claps her hands then everyone else follows. "Congrats on your first modeling gig!"

He grabs her hand and puts it on his chest. "Feel that? I'm so nervous."

Of course, she was taken aback, she didn't feel shit, just her own heart pounding when her hand landed on his hard chest. "T-That's normal." Then she walks away, face flushing, cleaning up her things.

"What's the plan?" He asks when they're finally out of the building.

"We're gonna get lunch and then go to your soccer practice?"

Jisung shakes his head. "I can just pass on that one. Let's just do the report in my apartment again." She looks him straight in the eye and before she can say anything, he says, "I cleaned up."

Y/N smiles a little. "Okay."

"What do you wanna eat? My treat today." He says, looking at her.

"I'm craving biryani."

"Let's go to Jamieson's then."

And somehow they're eating lunch together, Jisung is skipping practice to do their project together, talking casually unlike before where they just roll their eyes at each other.

Y/N asks while they eat. "So what do you think about the modelling thing?"

He shrugs. "It's cool for my first time. You and your team made it too easy for me."

"And you were pretty good too. You have potential." She puts her hand on her face, posing elegantly, mimicking his poses earlier.

Jisung laughs and immediately removes her hand from her face. "Stop it."

"Why? Wait until Chenle and Sungchan see those photos."

"Oh God." He cringes and ducks head under his hands while Y/N laughs.

They spend the whole afternoon discussing their topic, even arguing if one finds something different in their researches but at the end, they were able to finish up their presentation and are confident that they'll be able to discuss it in front of the class on Monday.

"Thanks, Ji."

And for some reason they found themselves arguing about what comes first, the egg or the chicken. They even did their research on their stands far more efficiently than how they did it first with their report about carbohydrates.

"If I'm right, you'll give me $50?" He taunts.

She pulls out her phone from her purse and counters with, "And if I'm right, I send this pic to your friends." Showing him photos of his shoot that she took without his knowing.

Jisung was about to snatch his phone when she immediately stands up and runs away from him. "Y/N, delete that!"

"No!" She yells back but falls onto the floor by the kitchen. "I can't feel my legs!"

He rushes to her with panic on his face. "What happened?!"

"I think we squatted on the floor for too long." Jisung sighs in relief. "But I still can't feel my legs, it's weird and ticklish."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I dunno, it's really weird. I hate it."

"I'll try to massage it." He looks at her waiting for her approval and she eventually nods, just desperate for the weird feeling on her legs to go away. His hands are huge, she notices. That's why it looked so good in the photos earlier.

"It's going away." Before they stand up, he attempts to steal her phone but she immediately holds it protectively with both her hands. "No, these are mine."

"That's literally me in those photos."

"Yes, I'm aware."

He traps her between both his arms and the kitchen counter. Jisung lowers himself to level with her. "Give me your phone." His voice drops an octave that gives her goosebumps. His voice has always been deep but it's different when it's this deep.

Their faces are almost touching and she blinks a couple of times as her nervousness gets the better of her. "Y-You're too close."

"I know."

"You look good." Out of the blue she says then covers her mouth with one hand.

Jisung chuckles. "You look good too. Really good." She tries to avoid his lingering eyes but she can't. "You like us like this, don't you? That's why you don't wanna give me your phone?"

"I thought I'm the first woman who ever got this close to you?"

"You are."

"It doesn't seem like it."

He gives a small smile. "That's because you make me do things I never knew I'm capable of doing." And her heart skipped a beat, she couldn't say anything. It's like her throat is blocked with something. "And I thought you're one of them strong girls? The type who nobody wants to mess with. You've always had that image but why are you refusing now?"

Y/N grabs him by the neck and crashes her lips with his. Jisung got surprised but started kissing her back until he snaps back to reality.

But she suddenly pushes him away, running to his bedroom to get her things and in no time, she's in her car driving home with her heart pounding in her ribcage. Meanwhile, Jisung remained speechless in the kitchen, no idea as to what exactly happened.

From: Park Jisung

People usually say something and don't just run after they do that, yk?

From: Park Jisung

Don't be a coward now.

To: Park Jisung

Forget that ever happened.

From: Park Jisung

Uh... no

From: Park Jisung

You kissed me first and now you just want me to forget abt it?

To: Park Jisung

Yes

From: Park Jisung

No, in fact, maybe I'll kiss you again tomorrow.

[queerlilchinchin]

Chinchin's WiYS Stream Official Post

This is the official post announcing my Write in Your Style writing stream.

--

Hello, everyone! Welcome and thank you for your interest in my Write in Your style writing stream.

Stream Description:

To start off, let me describe to you what I envision this stream to look like. Twice a month (every 1st and 3rd Tuesday), I will be getting on my writing streams. Probably somewhere around noon Pacific Standard Time. I will be starting the streams with that stream's strip of writing, then I will read the last stream's submissions.

Of course, I've got to start somewhere, so the first stream will be announcing the start of the streams as well as giving the first prompt. I will be doing livestreaming on twitch, which will then be downloaded and posted on youtube and tik tok. You are welcome to join me on my livestreams. I will open the stream up to questions at the end. It can be questions about the prompt or the concept or whatever else pertaining to the streams.

How to submit writing:

I will likely be making a new blog for it, though I already have a lot of blogs. This blog will be mostly for asking questions about the streams and gaining more interest in them. You may also submit here if you don't wish to e-mail yours to me, which will be the other way. Any submissions left via comments will not be used simply because I don't want to make it easier for others to steal your writing or risk anything like that.

Stream Start Date:

The streams will officially start beginning of December, so the 5th will be the first stream (unless something happens to prevent it starting on time).

Days of the week that the streams occur may change due to my life circumstances being kind of up in the air right now. I'm looking for new work, so my days off may change.

How writing works:

I've had some questions about how exactly the writing part will work and how long you all will have to write. As the streams are bi-weekly, you will have nearly 2 weeks to submit your writing. They will be short pieces of writing, so it shouldn't take terribly long to finish them.

For now, it will only be my original writing that will be used, but as time goes on, I may open up the streams to other writers who wish to also submit their own writing for the original writing for others to rewrite in their own styles.

You may write them however you wish to. It just has to be the same story as the original put in your own way (don't turn a romance about a valkyrie and a demigoddess into a horror about the two characters). You're just recreating the writing, just like draw in your style.

Who can write:

Absolutely anyone is more than welcome to write. I will be reading your submissions for now, but as I figure out the features of streaming, I may open up the floor to writers reading their own writing if they wish. I will also be giving credit in any form you wish (if you just want your name or your tumblr blog or your Wattpad/AO3 accounts linked).

Stream Account Links:

Gotta link you guys to the accounts that will be posting the streams!

YouTube

Twitch

TikTok

Blog

@wiys-streaming

Ending Statements

WiYS streams are really a way to showcase and remind writers that we all have our own style of writing, even if it seems like you don't. You are capable of taking a story that was already written and make it your own (not that I'm encouraging copying, but you know what I mean... hopefully). Being a writer can be really disheartening sometimes, especially when you feel like your ideas aren't original, but sometimes the most unoriginal ideas can be home to the most incredible stories. Cliches are/were popular for a reason. Tropes become tropes for a reason. People love what they love and if they love the thing that you are making that is so "unoriginal," they will love your writing.

Don't forget that originality is not synonymous to good. Or creative. You can write something "trite" and make it incredible. I hope that this new stream will remind writers of that. :)

Thank you for your time and if you have questions, please feel free to send them to @queerlilchinchin.

WiYS "tag me to everything" taglist: @nerd-in-distress, @jvten, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs (fyi, tumblr won't let me tag your other blog or I would have), @aether-wasteland-s, @mjrino, @cheezyratz, @accountusername, @perasperaadastrawriting, @mrblazeflappybird, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @mangofen, @bigwipscholar, @pluttskutt, @doublegoblin, @crazytechpersonzreal, @sitiart, @ashesinthewritten, @achildweanedonpoison6, @quotidian-oblivion, @world-of-my-imagination, @marmeegle, @alesseia

WiYS "tag me to important stuff" taglist: @distortedwhite, @lyssentome, @ah0yh0y, @grollow, @perlen-gold, @saltysupercomputer, @vshushmshu, @lordkingsmith, @gummybugg, @quisyop, @enne-uni, @cometkov, @shado48, @cryscal, @mary-is-writing, @elizababie, @squintclover, @schmem14, @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego, @wakkoroni

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

kaveh/gn!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

warning(s)!!: alhaitham cringes at y'all (fun sucker), typical kaveh & alhaitham banter, no-gender mentioned for y/n, lowercase intended sorry im lazy

w.count: 2.1k

synopsis: kaveh is always forgetting his keys one way or the other, you try and keep his mind focused on what he keeps missing. he misunderstands your question 'aren't you forgetting something?'

a/n: much love to @birinboom for helping me choose this title and letting me annoy her with my banners for hours. smooches

you dont have to live in the same house as kaveh and alhaitham to know kaveh's morning routines of which he has several. sometimes he'll wake up early- be it a rare occassion- and peacefully make some coffee or review a few blueprint drafts then get ready for the day. others he's a bit more speedy, already dressed by the time he makes it into the kitchen for coffee and already having mehrak at his beck and call so they can get a move on.

but mostly, it consists of him oversleeping from hardly getting any sleep at all, rushing out of his room with his hands pushing the last of his red bobby pins in, yanking mehrak's handle with anything but an apology, and hoping that anything he needs for the day is already inside the sentient briefcase. he'd get a coffee somewhere at the akademia, or from some client if they're so kind, or even from you if you happen to run into him.

he never remembers everything though. most infamously, his house keys that are usually hanging by the door or somehow end up in alhaitham's possession. on those days, when you wake up in your own home devoid of all the chaos a morning with kaveh could include, you somehow always know when it's one of those days when he would be locked outside with no way in.

'alhaitham,' you call out to the grey-haired bookworm when you see him in passing through the akademia's halls on his way to work no doubt. he stops his strides and looks over his bare shoulder to see you coming over, hands full of material for your daily tasks.

'what is it?'

'do you have kaveh's keys today?' you ask quietly in the halls, making sure no one was within earshot since kaveh tried so adamantly to keep his living at alhaithams a secret.

alhaitham didn't verbally answer you, but he did pull out his own grey key revealing nothing attached to it. if he had it, normally they'd be stuck together by the keyrings. you nod and hum, waving to him before dismissing yourself since you didn't need to keep him from his work. only two options left:

kaveh forgot it at home or your gut was telling you wrong... for once.

you knew that your partner had a few meetings with clients today, but you weren't exactly privy to where those meetings would take place. whether it be their homes or somewhere like puspa cafe for the reason that it was surrounded by the noise of the public.

you decided to wait until later on in the afternoon to continue your investigation- he wouldn't notice until then anyways. besides, you had work to do today as well and he'd feel bad if he knew you spent your time running around looking for him instead of working. he didn't want you to fall behind on your tasks at his expense.

the said tasks at hand were fairly mundane and didn't pertain to anything of great stress. working for the akademia was stressful all on its own, but it could be worse. luckily, your relationship with alhaitham- the acting grand sage- was smooth enough that when you needed his approval for something he was quick to hear you out and then make a decision. you lightly chuckle at the memories of kaveh finding out he had rejected something from you for whatever reason and chewing his roommate's ear off later because of it.

kaveh could be high-strung about certain things- your duties and work for example- even when he didn't need to be. so you had advised him that any further pressing on why the acting grand sage told you 'no' (which shouldn't happen in kaveh's perfect world), wouldn't be necessary. the rejection made sense when you inquired further on it and all you would need to do was make some adjustments and try again.

it was the same type of drive you wish he'd have with his own stubborn clients. when something in a blueprint doesn't or can't work out due to literal safety and impossibility, you wish he'd just tell them so and just say no. though almost always, he caves. he's proud of his work, but you also know it weighs heavily on him as a 'genius architect'.

that overloaded, perfectionist mindset was exactly why he always forgets the small things not pertaining to work.

the middle of the day comes and just before it goes by with the tick of the clock hand, your name is called from afar. you could see your blonde worry-wart coming your way with mehrak close behind him. you stop in your strides in order for him to catch up with you and once he's within arm's distance he's slinging one of his over your shoulders to give you a small side-squeeze.

'running errands?' he asks before he's taking the books and files out of your arms and nods his head in the direction you were previously going. you learned long ago to not fight him on when he takes things from you so he could carry them in your stead. your arms had started going numb from the distance between your workspace and alhaitham's office where they were soon going to be delivered anyways.

'yup. documents and files for the acting grand sage to go over and review.'

'eugh,' kaveh shivers, 'can't you just refer to him by name? i doubt he cares if you drop the titles when you aren't even around him.'

'it's not very professional, kaveh. when im working i need to address him properly.'

'i dont see why. he wouldn't correct you if you just used his name.'

'he'd correct you though.'

'yeah to get under my skin!'

you laugh at the rise you start to get out of your lover before you lightly grabbed onto his bicep using it to tether you both together while his hands were occupied with your workload. the rest of the trip was filled with mindless, idle chatter- his favorite kind when with you. the moment you knocked on alhaitham's office door he had half a mind to stay out in the hall, but he couldn't just give your paperwork back to you. he had to see the duty of carrying your things for your through, even if that means getting a few rips from his grey-haired roommate.

'here are the documents i told you about before. they just need brief reviews and filing.'

'thank you,' alhaitham told you without so much as looking up to you. he knew kaveh was with you though. 'kaveh,' he started, 'y/n came to ask me if i had your keys this morning.'

kaveh basically dropped the paperwork on the desk since the acting grand sage decided to bring that up in the middle of the blond setting them down.

'they have a knack for suspecting when you have forgotten them,' alhaitham continued while kaveh distressingly looked to make sure no one was listening in while aggressively shushing him. alhaitham knew how to push his buttons.

still, kaveh was quick to search his person while you stood beside him amused. he pats his pockets and pants down, and even mehrak's digital expression twists, idly hovering nearby. acting anxious on his master's behalf. kaveh looks at you bewildered when his search comes up empty.

'how do you always-'

'i just do.' you answer him. 'dont worry, if the acting grand sage is kept busy you can stay at my home until he's back.'

'you're more than welcome to keep him,' the rip to kaveh went discarded as the blond just kissed your check in appreciation. 'please keep that out of my office,' alhaitham sighed. kaveh just sneered childishly at his previous underclassmen.

'consider that payback.'

'for what exactly?'

'oh, 'for what', he asks. for your little attempt to pester me just a moment ago!'

'oh, my apologies. i thought you hadn't heard me.'

'well, i did!'

'boys,' you intervene before they both get too worked up. 'i don't want to listen to you both squabble, so if that's all you need from me acting grand sage, i'll be going.'

'yes,' alhaitham sets his sights back to you, 'that'll be fine. thank you.' he thanks you again before you turn and start making your way out. kaveh makes it a point to grab your hand and swing your interlocked limbs dramatically on the way out, just to show the other man what for.

on other days, you're lucky enough for alhaitham to allow you to stay over with kaveh. he allows it for a couple of reasons: it keeps kaveh from hammering away on projects all night because he won't let you sleep by yourself and you have a tendency to placate the blond so the mornings can run much more smoothly than if it were just the two of them. also, you make coffee for both of them and any chance he gets to drink coffee he didn't have to go through the effort to brew himself gives him just a bit more time to himself and his books.

you were standing in the kitchen of their shared home in one of kaveh's open-back shirts. you had tried one on for fun once since they were so interestingly designed and found the open fabric was nice to sleep in since it didn't trap the stuffy sumeru night air.

as usual, alhaitham was the first awake and walking around. you shared sounds of morning humming before you give him his coffee and he meanders off somewhere to read. not long after, kaveh was waking up and stumbling bleary-eyed into the kitchen lured by the smell of coffee. you also hand him his mug of coffee with too much creamer in it and he receives it along with a peck to your lips.

'hmm,' he hums still groggy. 'your lips are warm.'

'well, i did drink come coffee myself. probably from that.'

'really? i didn't taste it.' he teases, wanting to try and 'taste' the coffee you drank before alhaitham shouted from the other room.

'take it out of my kitchen..!'

you spend the morning sharing kaveh's space and helping him get dressed and ready. he let you braid his hair and place his feather behind his ear. he helps you get dressed and flatten out any uncomfortable wrinkles in your clothes. along the morning quiet, he would place kisses anywhere he could. on your nape as he helps adjust your collar. your shoulder before you pull on your shirt after discarding his. on your wrist when you're braiding his hair messing it up in the process so you have to start over.

neither of you would talk much, but the messages conveyed through actions and small kisses are enough for an early day. you both hear alhaitham leave which lets kaveh loop his arm around your waist and swing you around playfully to his chest and hold you there for a bit before you both finally finish up.

just before kaveh leaves ahead of you since he doesn't let you open the door yourself, you snag the long, dark ends of his hair and effectively stop him. he whines before turning to you.

'aren't you forgetting something?' he racks his brain and even merak looks confused behind his shoulder with digitally upturned brows. he runs a quick mental checklist before a look of understanding crosses his face. he steps back over the threshold and the toes of his boots tap against yours. you weren't expecting the sudden proximity as you lean backward and almost stumble before his arm is wound around your back and his other hand gently guides your chin up.

behind the walls of the entrance and cracked open door, he kisses you sweetly. once on your lips, then the corners of your lips, then your cheeks, and then one more peck to your lips. he looks at you satisfied and only leans his chest away from you as you lift your arm.

'that was very flattering, but i meant these.' you both start laughing at the sight of his keys dangling between the two of you. his small keychain bearing witness to the overly affectionate kisses early in the morning.

'thanks, sweetheart,' he tells you before gently taking them and placing them safely in his pocket. he kisses you one more time on the forehead and finally starts to make his way out with you to start his day.

at least he didn't forget them today since you were there to remind him. he can only wait on pins and needles for the day he can do this in his own private home with you and not one where alhaitham ruins the mood all the time.

[polyhexian]

despite Jasper telling Raine not to call him for CATTs business after the finale, I feel like Raine would, indeed, end up calling him. a lot. because, like. there's an entire oppressive government to mop up, and as former Golden Guards both Jasper and Hunter would be a wealth of information.

it's a 50-50 chance whether Jasper will just hang up or whether he'll demand some ridiculous price for his help, but Raine has a dangerous castle full of an evil emperor's secrets to clean up, and the former Golden Guards are RIGHT THERE.

so like…

~

"Whispers, I told you not to call me."

"I know, don't worry, I'll be quick. Is there a backup key to the treasury?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"We can't find the treasury secretary and the key is gone and we KIND OF need the relief funds - "

"Ohoho you guys are screwed, if you try going in there without the key you're gonna get vaporized by the security system."

"I AM AWARE. Do you know of some other way to get in?"

"Mmm theoretically."

"…What's it gonna cost to get you to help?"

"I've been considering getting my own wifi plan. Could you get the fees waived for, like, forever?"

~

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO GET UPPER-LEVEL ACCESS TO THE CASTLE'S CRYSTAL BALL NETWORK?"

"Hello to you too, Whispers."

"YES, HI, WE'RE KIND OF ON A TIME LIMIT HERE, NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT LILITH'S ACCESS WAS REVOKED SO - "

"Pfft wait, they actually locked her out? Oh, wait, she was alive when she defected, that makes sense…"

"JASPER PLEASE I KNOW THIS IS A LONGSHOT BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS - "

"Here I'll just text you my username and password."

"…WHAT???"

"Yeah they never changed it, pretty stupid of them. There you go, sent, feel free to use it as much as you like, it's not like I need it anymore. Also stop calling me."

~

"Listen I know you said you don't care to participate in government BUT I'm just putting out feelers so I wanted to know if you had any ideas on how to de-militarize the Emperor's Coven?"

"What makes you think I understand the first thing about political theory?"

"You were the Emperor's RIGHT HAND MAN."

"Haha yeah, doesn't mean I understood anything."

~

"Did Belos actually acquire the XYZ artifact?"

"Oh, yeah, I got that for him like 20 years ago."

"Great! Do you know where he stored it?"

"Not a clue."

~

"Whispers I am marathoning Cosmic Frontier with my kid, this had better be important."

"Sorry, just - quick question, we're trying to clear Belos's wing of the castle and we need to know, how many secret passages are there in this hallway?"

"Well in the hallway there's five, but there's another two in his chambers and one in his study."

"For the love of - "

"Hm? One sec. …Okay, Hunter says there's actually three in the study and seven in the hallway - wait, but Hunter, you never knew about the grimwalker lab? Huh. Okay so between me and Hunter there are eight in the hallway. That we know of."

"Great. Fantastic."

"Also watch out for the booby traps. And now that I think about it, one of the passages in the bedchamber is probably keyed so that only a human can enter, so you might want to recruit Luz for that."

"Is there anything I can do to get you to come help us clear this place?"

"Absolutely not. Wait, let me check - hey, Hunter, want to go back to the site of our torment to help Whispers and Mason do their jobs? Yeah, didn't think so."

"Alright, alright, sorry for asking."

"Oh, but I do claim anything you find pertaining to grimwalkers as, like, reparations or whatever. At the very least there should be a shelf full of journals in the lab. You can give what's left of Caleb back to the Clawthornes, though, he's their graverobbed great-great-whatever-granddad."

"Oh dear titan."

"Going back to our marathon now, if you have an emergency in the next thirteen hours I am NOT answering my scroll. Byyyyyyye."

SO fucking funny. "here's my password have fun kids" and that's how Raine finds out how jasper has known everything always all the time jehshdhdja. THAT SON OF A-

Don't forget jasper loves being bribed. When hunter is busy or at school jasper can be convinced to do stuff. Mostly with food. Food is a great motivator the man is hungry.

Raine: hey... Can you come and break down the wards in Belos's chambers?

Jasper: no

Raine: you want a house

Jasper: what

Raine: a house. White picket fence. Bay windows. Kitchen nook. You want one

Jasper: wh

Raine: mason will make you a house if you will come deactivate these wards

Jasper: why would I need a house. I have a house.

Raine: you live in a cave.

Jasper: I like my cave.

Raine: I bet hunter would like a house.

Jasper: I'll be right there

[eris-snow]

Deku's birthday series Q n A!

This will most likely be my last post pertaining to the Deku's birthday series for awhile. I'm sorry it came out late! 😭

There are some behind-the-scenes screenshots over on my Instagram if anyone wants to see, so go visit my post after you’re done reading this! https://www.instagram.com/eris.snow/

---

Katsuki, slamming the door open: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Now, I have no idea what you’re—

Katsuki: NO! YOU HAVE EVERY IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING. HOW DARE YOU, LEAVE ME WITH THE NERD AND HIS FUCK-ASS MEMORIES. FREAKING. FUCK. YOU!

Come on, it can’t be that bad—

Katsuki: JUST SUCK FACE WITH HIM ALREADY

No.

Katsuki: I will kill you and make it look like an accident, come here you—

---

Hey I’ve always wanted to do one of these.

---

Question: Is there going to be a part 3? Deku birthday series

Ans: Yes, there’s going to be a part 3, and it will be the last part of this Izuku trilogy of Deku’s birthday series! (Because I’m unwilling to milk this more than necessary)

Question: Why the ending? (Aka, why did you write another cliffhanger ending that’s so unsatisfactory) -Revelation

Ans:

The answer to that is that I felt it was a little unfair to have Izuku have Starlight handed to him on a silver platter. Frankly, I want to see him work for Starlight, because she’s worth it, and we haven’t really seen that. Also, angst.

Question: What can we expect in the next part?

Ans:

Definitely more flashbacks from Izuku’s point of view. Also, it will be a happy ending, confirmed. I think it’ll be a little irritating to see things go nowhere if I make a part 4. I really don’t like dragging things out longer than necessary, but the next part should be more Izuku-centric. Plus, there are a bunch of scenes I wanna write that are now unlocked because Izuku remembers, so stay tuned for that!

Question: How did you come up with the story’s narrative? -Secret

Ans:

Honestly, I have no idea. As I was writing the first two chapters, I was bouncing ideas off with one of my loved ones, and it just clicked. I did a little reshuffling, and then ironed out a cohesive storyline. Secret came at like a odd spot of, should I write a birthday series for him, because I did it for bakugou. On Tumblr, it was a lot more popular than I thought it would ever be, and Secret struck a gold mine with my AO3 audience.

Question: Do you relate to Starlight (Y/n)?

Answer: In some ways, yes. Sometimes, you’re afraid to let go of pain when that’s all you’ve ever known, and I wanted to show that. After all, Izuku and Y/n are teenagers. They have no idea what they’re doing, just working with bits and pieces. Kinda like how sometimes, we have no idea what we’re doing at whatever age we’re at. Also Starlight’s internal debate of whether to accept the offer of removing one of her feelings, and dissociating herself. Sometimes, cutting of feelings seem better, especially when you need to steel yourself. But no one should ever cut their feelings of entirely.

Question: What’s next in terms of your content?

Answer:

Er, a lot. First, I need to finish Anachronism and Juxtaposition, because I’ve been delaying doing that. And request, oh, gosh I’m so sorry to anybody who put in a request recently. But, I’ve still got lots of ideas I want to put out! Thank you for supporting me, and I hope that you’ll enjoy my other series! If you have any suggestions on what my long fic should be about, you can ask me on Tumblr or Dm me on Instagram at eris.snow!

Question: What’s next for Deku’s birthday series?

Answer:

Err, I really want to do an audio adaptation of this (Something like a CD drama), because I’ve had offers from really nice people to turn my story into something like an audiobook. I don’t think that’ll be really good for my work, so I kinda want to turn my story into a script and pull strings together to make it into a CD drama, ASMR roleplay, honestly idk what to call it.

Still working it out though! If you want updates or to ask for more questions about that, you can find me at eris.snow on Instagram and tumblr (I post more on Tumblr, like the freak I am). Looking for VAs interested to voice these people, so if anyone wants look forward to a post coming out somewhere in November ish that will release more details!

It’s going to be my first time doing something like that, so if anyone has any pointers, please tell me, I need all the help I can get 😭

PS: This is only tentative. I’ve expressed interest in doing it, but nothing is set in stone yet! However, if there are people interested in this idea, then I’ll definitely take it into consideration whether or not this will, or will not happen!

---

That’s all I want to address. Hope this clears things up for everyone!