#sounds like im making it about myself but thats not my intention

[hecksupremechips]

Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4

[t0rturedangel]

How about the Hazbin hotel gang with seraphim child reader who just somehow appeared after ep 8

╭ . . . 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎 ੭

𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐁𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ⿻  𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦??

⌦ 𝒲𝒜𝑅𝒩𝐼𝒩𝒢𝒮 ﹕angel dust - swearing, just him being him. Alastor - ill intent, possible swearing. Mentions of killing, mentions of blood. Nifty - she tries to kill you, dw you dont die. this too me so long im gonna cry

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ okay, firstly just know that the crew goes fucking crazy- I mean they just fought an entire army of exorcist angels and killed Adam, the first man Adam!! So they all think that you're sort of there to try and punish them all for it, so they all get ready to attack (even though you're LITERALLY a child, children are wild though)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ that's until Charlie, bless her heart, recognizes you (and depending on if you tried to defend her in court just like Emily) and rushes up to you, holding her arms out happily- thats until Angel Dust surprisingly tries to stop her

"It's you!" Charlie gasped, her eyes widening in a pleasant surprise, you were the third and youngest seraphim and much like your older sister Emily felt the need to defend Charlie and her idea of redemption- the thought of allowing those who suffered to see the error of their ways and correct them and then given their reward of eternal peace sounded brilliant, much like Emily you were horrified to learn of the exterminations. You were the first one to openly agree to what Charlie had said despite Adam's comments and facial expressions, you also helped Emily in trying to make the court see what was wrong with this method, unfortunately your plans did not work, though Charlie remembered your efforts and clearly she enjoys your presence. At the glee in her tone, you smiled and stepped forward, wanting to give a hug to the princess of hell though paused in confusion when someone looking oddly like a spider stopped her.

"Woah there toots!" the spider called out to his friend, grabbing her arm to halt her movement- Angel dust was staring both you and Charlie down- a look of uncertainty and distrust painted all over his face "Why ya going to rando angels? what if they were sent down here to finish the job for Adam?", Angel did have a point- you appeared put of no where and was just standing outside the hotel? pretty suspicious.. though Charlie is quick to cool things down "Oh no no no! They're alright, they're a friend! They mean no harm at all- in fact [name] was one of the angels who supported my idea!" she turned to you joyfully, smiling from ear to ear "We can trust them!" ... "okay but how did they end up here? in uh hell?" Husk piped up, his voice full of boredom- or annoyance (you can never really tell with husk, what an odd man) "Oh I fell! ... or rather- I threw myself out of heaven" you happily answered the question, giving everyone a quick second to process what the actual fuck you just said.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ thats how you joined the hotel! Pretty nice innit??

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Charlie adores you! you're such a sweet little thing, you're a sweetie and are just so kind to everyone!! (at least that's what she likes to think)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she thinks of you as a little small sibling!, after all you're the youngest of the team and act just like her, plus she always wanted a little sibling so you're perfect!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ any ideas she thinks of or any redemption exorcises she runs them by you- to see if they can be more or less effective to get her friends into heaven

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Since Charlie could only stay in heaven for so long, she loves to ask you about heaven and how it was like- always being so invested in your stories, she honestly cannot get enough of them!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ also, Charlie is... painfully aware that she can never get into heaven, ever. Afterall, she's not only a hell-born but also literally the heir to the throne of hell so yeah there is no chance for her redemption, something she cannot handle- she cries knowing this but now that she has you- someone who ran from heaven, actively choosing to leave and come here gives her comfort. Now she'll never be alone, she has you and you have her!

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ At first, Lucifer was startled and untrusting of you- you're a seraphim, someone that was just like him and could possibly actually take him down despite you being an actual child.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ over time, the king of hell did grow warmer to you, after all he sees a bit of himself in you. Both ex-angels, both hate heaven.... it's like you're his second little one!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Sometimes, when lucifer isnt busy with his actual child, he hangout with you- entertaining you with his magic while you return the favor with little stories and things, sometimes you even create little gifts like flowers for him.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Lucifer vows to keep you safe, even though you can easily take down hundreds of sinners and even overlords, it's paternal instincts what can i say?

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ this man totally makes you ducks- he has enough experience in making ducks so you know own a few dozen in your hotel room- how lovely!!

𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ oh this man, this radio demon. He's out for your soul, absolutely hell-driven to get it, and it's all for power (who could have guessed)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He doesnt like kids, in fact he can confirm that he absolutely HATES children though he will act all kind and lovely to you- remember though it's all an act! don't fall for it, he just wants your soul (if he gets your soul, your angelic soul? fuck- he'll be even more powerful than before, having an angel's soul would make him practically invincible!)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ This guy, funny fella really. HE CANNOT BUGGER OFF. Whenever you need help with anything he's the first to appear and offer a helping hand- and then in return as a favor back asks for a deal- is he serious? (yes. he always is)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Alastor though also, much like everyone else becomes a a bit soft for you- occasionally creating those little weird shadow creatures to play with you, since everyone around you are adults and are busy it's a way of keeping you entertained when they're busy

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He, also, understands that you are more powerful than him- and knows that if he gets on your nerves enough he'll probably become dust.

𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ at first, Nifty only had one goal: to kill you (hey don't blame her! Charlie told her to stab and she's still under that impression)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ good for you though!! coz you fly up right as she even tries to stab her dagger through your chest- Charlie and Vaggie immediately grabbing nifty to stop her from moving and killing you.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ after the whole misunderstanding, Nifty actually enjoys begin with you! you're clean, and help kill bugs (well really it's you pointing the bugs out to Nifty and her killing them)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ You're, unsurprisingly, taller than Nif so she likes to climb up on you and sit on your shoulders or stand on your back while holding onto your shoulders. She finds you the most comfortable to climb- plus she can hide in your wings and be used as a secret weapon.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she adores playing with roaches with you- while you are grossed out by it slightly, you still play to entertain Nifty (then after you sanitize your whole body about ten times)

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel tends to avoid you, not out of hate or spite or anything- it's just.... well he is aware of how he is and well he doesnt want to ruin you in the sense of his dirty talk and swearing.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ though occasionally he finds himself stuck looking after you, which is.... fun.... no i mean really its fun as fuck!!! Angel makes all sorts of jokes, offers you alcohol (you did almost take it if it werent for husk and practically everyone else to all collectively pry the bottle of vodka out of your hands)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel dust also teaches you some very creative swear words! so now, whenever you feel like talking you run around screaming weird insults at people, Alastor has heard you shout "EAT ASS AND DIE HORSE FACE FUCK BITCH!!" a few times to random sinners

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ The... star, is actually proud of teaching you those words- hey if you wanna stay in hell you gotta act like it!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ hides you away from Val- though somehow you still find out about him, and when you learnt how he treated your spider-friend.. uhm, the studio was in smithereens and val was close to death- now permanently loosing his right arm (just his right arm for now)

𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐊

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ to you, Husk is like the weird- drunk uncle who just got out of prison. Though, he's the cool drunk uncle.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk doesnt really speak to you, which is brilliant coz you dont really speak- so the two of you communicate through looks and gestures, leaving everyone in the hotel watching you two 'talk' very confused.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ never gives you alcohol, no matter how much you ask with 'cherries on top' and if he does catch you with any intoxicating drinks he snatches them off of you- scolds you a bit then drinks the beverage himself.... hypocrite

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk helps you avoid Alastor, he doesnt want to see you being under his clutches, you dont deserve that you're just a kid.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He also teaches you how to do magic tricks just incase you ever want to become a magician... and sometimes he teaches you how to play card games- or how to gamble

𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ In all honestly, Vaggie is very much threatened by you- because like, do i even need to say it?? YOU'RE A SERAPHIM !!!!!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Buttt as long as Charlie is okay with you and you don't pull any stunts to try and sabotage the team you're alright! Just dont try anything.... please

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she accidently treats you like a soldier sometimes- a habit from her exorcist days, speaking of you could immediately tell she was one of those angels and while you did not like her at first you grew to like her- viewing her as a second older sister

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ you and Vaggie sometimes sit and remember old times in heaven- and you'd ask about the exterminations, though quickly stopped after noting her discomfort.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Vaggies also likes to try and swap weapons with you- to see if she and you can handle other weapons (unsurprisingly you both adapt quite quickly)

[gabrielapazlima]

Why do i ship Cuddlejump⚡️❤️

(Hoppy hopscotch x Bobby bearhug)

And how i see their dynamic being like!

if you guys follow me for a while you guys may already noticed my very normal adimiration for the ship between hoppy hopscotch and bobby bearhug from the smiling critters...its not like they are 90% of my art gallery and that i cannot shut the fuck up about this ship hahaha right?

well,yea,i really,really,REALLY like them- its a ship that i pratically came up with first than anyone and somehow other ppl ended up found of them....but why? Why does Gabriela da paz lima is so normally obcessed with the ideia of a green tomboy rabbit n a red carebear being a couple?

At fist you may think "Uhh it is probally because of the classic tomboy tough girl x soft girly girl archetype right?" and yea,i can see why ppl think that is a very famous lesbian ship dynamic i respect ppl that are solid into them bc of it.... but its deeper to me than that...first i want to talk abt hoppy n bobby's solo characters first!

Hoppy Hopscotch⚡️🐰

ngl when i entered this fandom she was like,my favorite...i still love her tho

she is basically the energetic tomboy of the group acording w her official descreptions,she is also know as THE big motivation force of the critters,always pushing them out their comfort and have a very adventuous n positive spirit-

BUT she have very noticeble characters flaws as well,not only she is quite loud but she tends to be bossy n really impatient,being described as someone that can be "handful to deal with",and before the book release she is literaly the only critters with her character flaws listed-

i always liked how her personality is kinda complexish in comparassion to other critters,she is clealy have a good heart,very loyal n likes to help the others (which we can see in her cardboard line) but she can come up as rough n "overwhelming" in the way that she does it,she doesnt have the intention of hurt or being mean but she still comes as rude due her lack of patience n understanding( cof cof autism) of ppl's limits-

i really like her i feel like she is SO underrated:( you guys have to STOP make her a bully,she is NOT like that.)

Bobby bearhug🐻❤️

i love bobby so much that is not even funny,she is my kin baby-

she seems to be the typical shallow love girl at first sight but...theres so much more abt this carebear....

in her descreptions she is basically the mom friend of the group,she is here to keep her friends together not matter what,she is very phisically affecionate,she is emotional inteligent being very patient n understanding ( which is kinda of what hoppy lacks 👀) n her compassion don't limits itself to only hed friends but to things,places n basically any living thing-

she seems to be pretty much the perfect girl right?...well yea almost....and then theres her voice lines that give a very tonal shift to her character....

"i love you to the moon and back!im CRAZY about you...im lost without you...i been lost a long time....please take me with you this time....you'won't leave,will you?!"

at first it seems some kinda yandere shit but reading more and more deep in that,it sounds so desesperate n sad tbh...i seems like she is not thay confident by herself n DEEPLY fears the abandoment...which is...very ironical for HER character...

"But these lines are about the bbis destiny" yea i know but these lines are ALSO reflected in their cartoon personalities,like kickin being scared n hoppy being impatient...it very likely that is ALSO linked to her canon personality as well...which also makes me think in what amber said about her...

Damn thats....so relatable...i always try my best to be there for other ppl but im always so hard to myself when i know that i should not....thats a perfect irony to the "love character"...

she does not have that much of strong will for herself,she does not love herself in the same way that she loves everyone...she feels weak and defenceless n unwanted being at her own because she doesnt feel enough...

fuck,im crying...They will NEVER make me hate you,bobby bearhug.

🐰⚡️About Hoppy n Bobby's relationship🐻❤️

you see...they are both are very complex girls that love to support people on their own distinte ways,hoppy is the more of phisical support crittet while bobby is the emotional support critter- they deeply care about their friends and they want see them trying news things...i would say that they both valorize support over anything,thats their main atribute-

but they are also deeply flawed in very different ways,hoppy is impatient,bossy n can come off as rude bc of her lack of caring side....also very reckless as consequence....(kinda the reason of why she died) Bobby is very emotional dependent which causes her to panic over the ideia of being alone n doesnt like trying to push herself to do anything when she is feeling too alone( that also can be the reason of why she died)...

they flaws n qualities...weidly compliment each other well...hoppy needs more emotional inteligence n more understanding,not only of other ppl's limits but her own limits.... Bobby needs strengh will and motivation due her deep insecurities and self loath,she can be stronger than she is at her own,and hoppy can show that to her-

i feel like they dynamic is really strong and be summarized as "Besides all our differences,we value the same thing and in the end of the day,i really need you"

i just REALLY love comprimentary duos + opposite atract sorry- call me basic bitch.

💚More of their dynamic plus personal headcanons❤️

i like to think that hoppy would be sighly unconfortable with bobby's affection fowards her at first but she is slowly beggins to enjoy it and reciprocate it-

i also like to think that they would be the ones to come up with the group's activities together,hoppy tries to do batshit insane stuff but bobby tones them down to be safier-(they MIGHT go into lil fights abt it)

also hoppy really enjoys bobby's anger/tough moments because she is surprising REALLY strong but she always never show it-

hoppy also tends to be emotional but she nevr shows it util bobby find it by her own and she ended uo breaking her tough girl persona in front of her(which of course bobby accepts)

Bobby,hoppy n kickin were kinda of a trio and they basically the over loving girl,the cool "chill" guy and the hyperative dumbass...it fits them...

i have a MILLIONS of stuff to say about them but i would be here forever sooo i hope you guys have enjoyed my yapping about cuddlejump:)

BYE!!!

[iouinotes]

"The Cole Effect" | Cole Walter

pairing: Cole Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: smut, but just a little (I had to after seeing him in that last scene)

word count: 4k

summary: Cole asks the reader out on a date and after he convinced her, they spend a fun (if you know you know) evening together.

a/n: please pretend that his restored car has backseats...thanks (also I'm sorry for the way this ff ended. I wanted to write smut all the way, but it just didnt feel right anymore after the first half. So please enjoy the rest of it and bear with me...)

"So, when do I pick you up?"

He leans against my locker, looking over my shoulder and reading my notes. "Cole, how many times do I have to tell you? I dont have the time and patience, I'm sorry-" sighing I look at him, studying his smug grin.

"You have the chance to get to know me better. In my opinion, that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon." He smiles at me, his eyes scanning my face.

The fact is, I didnt want to fall in love with him and I knew, if I would let him take me out, it wouldnt turn out for the best. Well, mostly for me. He would probably date the next woman, that would catch his eye. And I would be on his list, sitting at home on the weekends and waiting for him to call. No, that wasnt how I planned to spend my time.

I mean, he obviously is very handsome, blonde hair, dreamy eyes, pink lips that somehow always look kissable. And to be honest, sometimes when I get lost in a daydream, forgetting about the math class, he appears in my head. Always smiling as bright as the sun. I dont know what it is, but something about him is so attractive, I dont even know how to discribe it.

Of course, I'm not the only one who feels that sort of attraction. His magical appearance, how he talks, walks, smiles, flirts.

It´s called "the Cole effect". For most of the time, I didnt really get it. But as soon as his eyes landed on me, as soon as he talked to me, trust me, I got it. He is charming, enchanting, funny and he has a way with words that makes it addictive to hear his voice.

It´s crazy, but it is reality.

When I look at him now, I feel another pair of eyes watching me. Erin. The girl, who is in a on-off realtionship with him. Cole has many women, who want him, not just because he is popular. But because he is what every girl dreams of. Thats the problem, he is a dream till he gets bored and then you find yourself in your own nightmare.

"Its just- I cant. Also, there is a really pretty and wonderful girl, standing right next to you, thats been waiting for you to notice her." I never unterstood how Cole could want someone else, when Erin existed.

"Well, Im currently talking to her, so I know when to pick her up." His eyes stay clued to me. Confused, I draw my eyebrows together. "But Erin is this way-" I turn my head to look at her, but at the same second I feel a finger tenderly turning my head back. I freeze, butterflies awake in my stomach and I have to keep myself from looking too flustered by his gesture. Of course, my body has its mind of his own, so I feel my cheeks turn red.

At that, he grins. "I know you feel it, beautiful. One date, thats all Im asking for. I promise, you will have a good time." Im too caught up in my emotions to think reasonable. So I quietly nod and feel myself holding my breath, when he leans down to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His finger again, linger slightly on my cheek.

"See you then, 9 o'clock. I'll be on time, you have my word." Winking, he turns around and walks down the aisle.

Finally I get to breath again.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

Why the fuck did I agree to this? Standing infront of my mirror, I look at my summer dress, warm yellow colour with beautiful, little sunflowers on it. It was the dress, I got a lot of compliments for. But then again, what was my intention with wearing this dress? Im not sure.

While I pick out a golden necklace in the shape of a sun and put on a few bracelets, I leave my hair down and the way it always is. I don't want him to think that I'm trying too hard.

He knows the truth anyway.

A few minutes later, I hear the doorbell ring and with one last, deep breath I open the door. If I'm honest, I would have liked to close it straight away. Because there's no way to avoid staring at him the whole time when he looks like that. Wearing blue jeans, slightly oversize, a white tank top and his red jersey. He looks hot, in a way I want to spend the rest of the day, riding something other than his car. God, help me survive this.

To my suprise, he is quiet the gentleman. He compliments my dress, he holds the door open to his car, he lets me pick the music and as I sit in the passanger seat, listining to Taylor Swift, I smile to myself. Unfortunetely I´m not very subtle about it, because he asks me right away about my good mood.

"I dont know, Im just having a good time, I guess." I look at him, while he is focusing on the road. I see one of his hand rising, so he dramatically holds onto his chest.

"I'm hurt. Did you think, I was that boring?" Laughing, I shake my head. "No, its not that. To best honest, I didnt expect myself to enjoy today." I turn my head and look at my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "Why not?" I see his head looking in my direction, a curious tone in his voice.

"I´ve had a hard time this last year, everything with school and you are- I mean, I dont know what intention do you have with me? Im not a one night stand type of person, I want something real. You know, like in the love songs, the real feelings, a real relationship. With a person, who wants me the same way, I feel about them. I think, thats the reason Im not sure, if this-" I gesture between us "is a good idea."

He´s quite for a moment and I feel more embarassed, the more seconds pass.

"Im sorry. I didnt mean that we´re going to be, you know like a thing. I respect your decision to spend your time with other girls, I didnt mean it is something bad. Its just-" He finishes my sentence. "-not for you. I know." His eyes are on the road, but I see his hands nervously tapping the wheel.

"Sorry, if I just crashed the vibe. I didnt intend to do it." I look at my hands. "No, its okay. Dont be sorry. I like your honesty. You know, you state your point. Thats good."

We look at each other and I try to search in his eyes for a sign, that he´s pissed. But he just lightly smiles at me, reaching out and holding my hands. While one of his hands is still on the wheel, of course. I feel myself blushing.

"Look, lets not pretend that I´m the best choice for a relationship or boyfriend material. Because I´m not and you knew that, even before you agreed to spend the afternoon with me. So, I´m just curious. Why did you change your mind?"

His thumb is massaging the back of my hand and I try not to settle with this warm feeling in my chest. "Because you dont give up that easily and it's hard not to give in to you." I see a smile tuck at his lips. "You think so?" I role my eyes.

"You know the affect you have on people, Cole. It wouldnt suprise me, if you run for president and won. People like you." He laughs at my comparison, turning the wheel and driving into the driveway to a nice restaurant. When he parks the car and turns of the light, he turns in my direction and looks at me.

"Do you like me?"

The question suprises me. "What?" I laugh quietly. "You said, people like me. So, do you like me too?" His eyes search mine.

"Well, if I would hate you, I think i wouldnt have agreed to go to dinner with you." He leans forward.

"Well you could just be here for the food?" I grin at him. "You got me, Im just hungry, sorry. Can we go in and be silent the entire time?" His hands are still holding mine, but now one of them is caressing my arm, leaving me with goosebumbs.

We sit in silent, but when he opens his mouth to break the comfortable atmosphere, Im shocked by his honest words.

"Well, I like you. You´re funny, endearing, honest and smart. You are nice to everyone, even if you have do deal with a guy like me, who gets on your nerves, so you agree to go on a date with him. It´s something about you, that is special and I would like to get to know you better. If you do, I promise you´ll get more food."

I smile at his last sentence, even though I dont know what to say. "God, you´re making me speechless." He leans even closer. "I can do many other things, that can make you speechless." At that I look at his lips. I see him grin and when I look up again, he is even closer than before.

"There are two choices now. One, we go into his lovely restaurant and talk about god knows what or two, we test whether the seats can be tilted backwards." At his voice I feel myself getting flustered. God knows, I would love to test what the car is capable of. But we´re out in a driveway, infront of a restaurant and people could see us. And even though I´m not really against the idea, its to early.

"Or three, we eat first and maybe later, you show me why I need to hate you less." He rises his eyebrows. "So you really are just here for the food." I laugh. "I guess, I am."

The time we spend in the restaurant was wonderful. I didnt expect us to connect this way, its like he just gets me. We ate a huge meal, in the end we almost forget to pay and I feel myself being so entchanted to him.

Even though the waitress tried to flirt with him (which by the way is rude, because what about girls support girls?), he kept his attention on me, also reaching out infront of her and taking my hand. I really couldnt tell myself to stop imagining, what it would be like, if we were a couple.

I mean, its ridiculous, because he made it very clear, that he didnt want to be in a relationship. But still, a girl could dream, right? Right.

After we did pay (much to the relief of the waitress), we went outside and walked a few minutes along a path, our hands entangled by the time we got back to the car. I didnt want to admit it, but he managed to make me fall in love with him in one day.

And even though I was scared, he made me feel alive. I couldnt concentrate on anything over than him, his sweet compliments, his eyes that kept looking at my lips, his arm that went around my shoulder to keep me warm.

He was so caring, it made me loose my mind. I didnt want the night to end. So when we were back in his car on the way home and he asked me, if I wanted to see his new car, I agreed.

We talked on the way back about our interests. He told me about his passion for football, even though he didnt get to play anymore and about his fascination for restoring cars. I told him about my love for books and that I would rather spend the day waching a new Netflix series, than doing sports. We talked about our goals for the future and that we both want to get out of this town, finally seeing something new.

By the time we arrived at the ranch and he parked the car outside the door, it felt like I knew his past selve, his present and future self. I never had a date like this before, something so honest and great.

But I mean, I also never knew a person like Cole before, so maybe that is the reason.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

When we arrived, it was dark outside, but because it´s summer, neither one of us felt cold. "Is it okay for me to be here? I mean, are your parents cool with you, bringing a girl home?" I look to the house, checking if some of his family members are still awake, but no lights are seen. "As long as they dont know about it, they´re cool." He grins at me and I shake my head.

"Come on, I want to show you what I´ve been working on for the last months." He leads me, one of his hands on my back to the garage, opening the door and letting me in. Its dark inside, but I hear him shifting around to find the switch to turn on the light. When I hear a click and the light flickers on, I look around and at the tools, all the stuff standing around and finally at the car.

He´s standing next to it, a proud smile on his face. "So, what do you think?" Im walking towards him, inspecting his work. "I mean, I dont have a clue about cars, but it looks really good and like it was restored by a proffesional." My fingers run over the open hood.

When he carefully closes it a few seconds later, I look up and see him watching me. "What?" I say, starring back. He takes a step towards me, searching in my gaze, trying to make out if I want this the same way, he wants to feel me. But as I stand still, waching him get closer, centimeter by centimeter, until our faces almost touch, I feel myself breathing heavily.

His hands sneak around my waist, pulling me gently closer to him. He turns around, so he leans onto the car, directing me, so I stand between his legs. I feel myself getting hot, I hear his breath and watch his eyes trailing down to my lips and finally to my eyes. I do the same. And before I know it, he leans in and catches my lips in a captivating way. I feel myself melt.

One of my arms sneak around his shoulders, so I get closer to him. I feel butterflies fly around in my stomach, smiling in the kiss and when he breaks apart, he looks at me.

"Hate me less now?" He wispers.

"Not really, try again."

So he does. Our lips meet, our breath gets taken and I feel my knees weaken, when one of his hands capture my face. He holds me still and I feel every touch, my skin burns.

The temparature rises and when one of his hands travel down, first to my neck, then to my collarbone and lastly to my shoulders, his fingers hold the straps of my dress. Again, he breaks apart, so I open my eyes and immedialy want to kiss him again. Although my hands wander over his shoulder, Im not sure what to do now.

"Are you nervous?" His hands caress my sides, his question leaves me uncertain. I nod, not in the right state to use my words. At that, he gently smiles. "Then I will help you relax. You can do that for me right?"

His words make me clench my thights and I feel myself getting wet. When I nod again, he leans forward and wispers in my ear. "Good girl." That and that his lips nip at my ear and leave a wet trail at my neck, makes me whimper slightly. I feel him smirk, so he earns a light smack on his arm. He laughs quietly and when I open my eyes, his ones are shining with a hidding mischief.

"You enjoy this too much." I say it as a joke, but he takes it seriously. "I do, actually. I dreamt about you making these sounds a lot more often, than I would like to admit."

At that, I gasps. "You what?" I try to concentrate on his words, but his wandering hands dont help with that. He kisses me, but now he turns us around and presses me against the car. Helping me sit on it, so he can get between my legs.

"I said" he beginns to speak and his lips find a certain spot, that makes me moan. "I want to hear all the little sounds, that escape you." My hands wander to his hair, holding it and messing with it. His hands again find the straps of my dress and when I kiss him more passionate, he slowly beginns to pull it down. First the right side until he lets go of it, so he can pull the other one down. All that, while still kissing me.

I feel myself getting lost in him, his lips are like a drug and I feel myself getting addicted. When I feel the air hitting my skin, I break apart. He looks at me, checking if I’m still okay with what we´re doing. "What do you want to do?" he holds the straps of my dress, gesturing that he wants to get me out of it. I breath, trying to know, what I want.

I come to the simple conclusion, that I do want him. Even if its just for now. So I kiss him and try to strip him out his jacket. To do that, he lets go of my dress and it falls to the floor, leaving me in my underwear. His eyes scan my body as his hands caress my skin, his finger going from my shoulders to my breasts.

Breathing heavily I look at him. "Your turn." His hands leave my body and with a teasing smile he takes off his jacket, leaving me starring at his muscles.

One of his fingers turn my head to look at him. "You like what you see?" His grin says it all. My hands find their way to touch his arms, going further down until i tuck at his shirt.

"I would like you more without it." His eyes turn dark. Swiftly he strips off his tanktop, leaving us both starring at each other. Before I can do something else, his arms direct me to him.

"You´re having second thoughts about this, sunshine?" He´s touching my necklace.

"Have you?" I look at him, seeing him smile.

"Never." His hands go to my legs, so he can lift me up and my legs hold on to his hip. I lean towards him, kissing his neck and stopping by his ear.

"What do you want to do to me?" At that, he stands up, still holding me, while opening the door of his restored car and lays me gently on the back seats. He´s hovering over me, a look in his eyes that makes me shiver. When he leans down and presses a kiss on my chest, near my neck, I try to focus on my breathing.

"I want to do so many things to you." His hands tangle in my hair, lightly tugging on it while he leans down, his lips ghost over my own.

"I want to-" his voice goes quiet, I feel his hands touching my legs, breaking them apart, so he can sit between them. "-take of your panties first. Alright?" I nod, looking up to him. Slowly his fingers find my underwear, so he can slide them down and I get out of it.

When he holds them in his hands, he puts it in his pocket, because he still wears his jeans. He starts to kiss me, leaving my mind with a relaxed feeling, going further down, kissing my chest and my stomach, eventually leaving a kiss above the one spot, thats been dying to be touched.

"I already have you this wet, how sweet of you." When his hand comes down and touches me, sliding one finger gently over my folds, I try to hold myself together.

"You dont need to be quiet. Nobody can hear you." But when I keep holding in my moans, he takes it as a personal challenge. As he leaves kisses all over my body, his finger carefully begin to speed up and I feel my walls clenching.

"God, you´re so tight. How long havent you been touched?" His mouth his hot on my skin and when he adds a second finger, I moan loudly. My eyes squeeze shut at the feeling that consumes me, I cant concentrate on a word he says.

"Already too turned on to answer me, huh? Thats a shame, because Im curious to know the answer of my question." He stops the movements of his fingers, leaving me with a needy feeling. And when I try to move, he stills my hips.

"As much as I like to see you sqirm, I want you to answer me. Can you do that for me?" I try to remember his question. "I-I havent." He rises his eyebrows in confusion. "You what?" His fingers leave my body. When I open my eyes, I realise what he has been asking me.

"I-I havent been touched like that before." His mouth opens in disbelief. "You never had a boyfriend or someone you´ve been intimitated with?" I look at the ceiling of his car. "I mean, not really. I´ve dated someone once, but we didnt reach a level, where we got to this point. So, I never did something like this." I can see the conflict in his eyes. "You´re sure, you want me to be your first?" Its sweet, that he cares.

"I- I guess so, Im sure it wont be a bad experience with you." He quietly laughs. "I hope so, but I cant get my head around the fact, that this is your first time. I mean, youre beautiful and fun to be around." He´s silent for a moment. "You know, we dont have to go all the way, right? I wont be mad, if we stop here."

I think for a moment and while my hands trace his muscles, I try to sort out my thoughts. Now that his fingers are no longer distracting me, I try to understand my feelings.

"We should maybe take it slow? I do want to get to know you better, before-" I dont have to finish the sentence, he just nods and when he smiles at me, I feel myself relax.

"That´s okay, don´t worry. I can drive you home, if that is what you want?" My eyes are searching for a sign, that he is mad. But he just gently brushes my hair aside and kisses the side of my mouth.

„I like you. That means, so we are clear here, that I want you to want me. And if thats the case, which I hope so, then we dont need to rush anything. If the time is right, who knows what will happen. Even if that means, I need to beg you to go out with me again.“

I raise my eyebrows, laughing at his words.

„You would do that?“ He shrugs, smiling at me.

„For you, I would.“

[kwaanie]

"the taste of a kiss"

bff!yang jungwon x fem!bff!reader

wc: 900, fluff & tiny tiny angst, just idiots inlove but theyre too much of an idiot to realize, not proofread

your friendship with jungwon has crossed several lines over the years. i mean youve been friends since you both were in diapers — it was bound to happen, right?

many people have told you before that this wasnt normal ; friends dont pay so much attention to the other ones laugh, friends dont ditch their dates in favor of hanging out with one another, friends dont get jealous of the other hanging out with someone else

and friends especially dont ask to kiss their friends on the lips

"im sorry, what?"

the stunned face jungwon wore brought heat to your cheeks, making you not want to repeat the words youve suddenly uttered. ".. can you kiss me?"

you didnt think it was an unusual request! — after all you had a totally valid reason

"its just so i dont embarrass myself with my future significant other, thats all!" right, totally a valid and very true reason

it isnt like youre trying to find an excuse to kiss your best friend.. totally not

"mhm, yeah no." he concluded, going back to phone while successfully hiding the way his cheeks were turning cherry red

with a small huff, you sat by his side at the couch — practically melting into his side as you clung to his arm like a koala. "wonnie-ah, please? with a cherry on top?"

"you dont need to know how to kiss because you wont be with anyone anytime soon" he replied half-heartedly, trying to cover up the shakiness of his voice

jungwon has practiced the art of deceiving with how its become second nature for him to lie over his true intentions ; like he doesnt want to kiss you, be with you

"okay, rude! didnt need to call me out like that" the banter brought a small chuckle from jungwons lips — slightly easing the tension that has built since the beginning of this conversation

"just indulge me for today, will you? pretty please?" you gave your best puppy eyes. jungwon scoffed as he shook his head lightheartedly, "when have i never indulged you?"

you rolled your eyes with a small smile. "alright you got me! whats adding another favor to the list"

the room went quiet as you watched jungwon ponder over your request — youve never seen him this serious before. sweat was slowly building up at your nape, the hands clutching the sleeves of his sweatshirt suddenly becoming too clammy for your liking.

"i-if you really dont wa-"

"fine, ill do it."

honestly, you really werent expecting him to agree to this at all. "uhh- are you sure? won-ah i was just joking around! .. kind of! you dont have to-"

"but i want to" he replied without a thought. jungwon seemed to realize how eager he mustve sounded and his confidence disappeared in a snap — immediately reverting back to his previous nervous demeanor

too busy keeping his composure, jungwon failed to notice the way the four simple words affected you — your lips have parted from surprise and your heart suddenly skipped a beat

you were brought out of your daze when jungwon held his finger in front of you. "you owe me for this, by the way" the furrow of his brow pulled a small laugh from you as you nodded your head. he seemed satisfied with your response

"so how do we go about thi- oh!" jungwons hands found purchase around your waist as he pulled you even closer to him than before, your hands landing on his shoulders — seeking for something to hold onto

from this view — you could see every little imperfections of his that you adored ; the subtle glow of his skin, and the tinted lips of his youve always daydreamed about — whether or not it was as plump and soft as it looked

today — youll finally find out

jungwon caught your wandering gaze unbeknownst to you. feeling encouraged, one of his hands cupped your cheek as he brought you impossibly closer — tilting your head up to meet his eyes

suddenly, everything felt like it was on slow notion. jungwons hand slowly slid to the back of you head as he leaned further into your space. you can feel his breath lightly grazing your skin — your noses barely an inch away

jungwons hooded eyes were drawn to the plush of your lips, his tongue poking out to wet his own. the simple act was all it took for you to move first to connect yourself together

the feeling of his lips on your own felt surreal. it felt like two puzzle pieces finally becoming one. it was slow, soft, and utterly perfect. like your lips were moulded for one another

it felt like hours before you pulled away. a giggle erupted from you when jungwon followed, already missing your touch — like a moth drawn to a flame. both of you were cherry red after the realization actually hit

youve just kissed your best friend. on the lips. for real

uncertainty filled the room at the question of what now? how will this affect your friendship?

you cleared your throat and uttered the words that broke jungwons heart. he thought maybe he had a chance now — you seemed to have both liked the kiss so maybe- just maybe he ...

"this is just practice? right won-ah? it wont change anything between us"

maybe he didnt have a chance afterall

© kwaanie — reposting/editing/copying is strictly prohibited !

[xanderisbraindead]

Im gonna try to switch to a flip phone

Ive wanted to do this, or at least unplug a little from my smart phone for a while, but I always cave and reinstall my apps and start using my phone again. My screen time was 10 hours a day average last week and that is absolutely embarrassing to me. To keep myself accountable, I'm gonna list my reasons why I wanna do this.

Mental health: High smartphone usage is being linked to higher rates of mental health especially among teens. Social media and the constant bombardment of information is very stimulating on the mind and thats turning out to not be very good for you.

Attention Span: My attention span is kinda dogshit... I catch myself opening my phone to scroll social media while my sims game is loading WHILE I'm watching youtube...

Dumb shit: I see a lot of dumb shit (mainly on twt and insta) and it makes me so angry but then I catch myself wanting more and more of that. I know I have anger issues and for myself, I shouldn't be purposefully doing that. Internet discourse takes up too much of my brain space to where I'll talk about it in real life...

General dependence: It's just a piece of metal, why does it feel like a limb I need to have on me at all times? I don't need to fall asleep and wake up with this thing in my hands.

Oversharing: I overshare a lot to the point I get embarassed about it. It's a little harder to do this when you're using your computer because you have to be intentional about your internet use. You have to sit down and some features are limited on web (ie insta stories) so you can't just say anything.

I want to appreciate other things: As I said, I spend an average of 10 hours a day on my phone and I feel like I'm wasting my time. I don't feel like im doing enough in my days because most of it is going into staring into a screen. I want to read more and remember to flip my compost and do more things in a day than sit hunched into a screen.

Physical health: I have bad eyesight and a bad back. Staring into a screen is not helping either of those.

Compulsive shopping: I have got some cool stuff, but again, I want to be more intentional in my actions, including shopping. I've found myself spending money a little too loosely lately, and I'd like to think my purchases through more.

There's probably more, but thats all I can think of right now. I'm gonna make a big shift tonight and sleep without my phone in my bed. That sounds silly to make a big deal of, but ive done it for maybe 4 years now, even when I was on vacation last month.

So yeah, thats my new adventure: Beating the addiction to my phone.

[mazzystar24]

exactly! i wanted to like tommy tbh i liked him in 703 and 704. 705 was meh to me. i couldnt really find it in myself to care because the entire episode was about buck freaking out about telling eddie. 706 just made me ???? because of the bachelor party scenes. like why are we having the new bf dismiss buck at every turn while eddie is all in if they want us to root for this man. he wouldve had to change at work anyway so why didnt he dress up. then again in 709 he’s just shooting down bucks joy with the “enjoy it while it lasts” thing and then we already discussed 710. like sure buck made it a bit jokey but then tommy sounded completely serious when he said “no i dont. i hope you do though!” im someone who’s very sarcastic in her own humor and i couldnt tell he was joking. like i get that they want tommy to be snarky or whatever but something about it just falls flat for me. some of the comments he makes feel like stuff he shouldn’t feel comfortable saying yet to someone he’s only started seeing in the past couple months.

also the evan thing confuses me because lou said on cameo the script supervisor told him he isnt allowed to call buck ‘buck’. i wonder if thatll ever be addressed in s8 because that feels weird to me. especially since buck has insisted people call him buck in the past but idk if thats even anything to actually think about. like im not sure if the writers just dont know what to do with this man or if they’re actually writing him to be a short term thing. its so easy to add depth to their relationship and open up a chance to be vulnerable but they either choose not to entirely or give those moments to eddie -birthmark anon

NO SAME LIKE I AM DOWN FOR RIVAL LOVE INTERESTS TO MY SHIPS IF THEYRE WRITTEN WELL

I WAS MID TYPING I HOPE YOU DONT SEE THIS YET

Like I made a whole post about how the show bones had Hannah and she was the best and the way they wrote her made her GENUINELY likeable

And 911 couldve pulled that off so easily with Tommy but just keep choosing not to??? Like they are making (imo) very intentional writing choices that just don’t develop him or bucktommy very well when they could literally just NOT make those choices like they’re fully in control so while these things are realistic and can have good explanations the writers are intentionally choosing to include them and write them a specific way

Like idk about you but if I wanted people to aim for my couple I would go about it VERY differently

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the beach conversation is insane actually im always being so mean to 13 for how closed off she is but it's insane what she does here like "ive never been able to", "it's what my life is", "not because i dont want to"

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much but lets play doctors and students and reenact the anatomy lesson dr nicolaes tulp you be the doctor and the students and i'll be the body hang on let me hold up a lamp so you can see what we're doing

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much i locked my hearts in this rusty vault and lost the keys but if i had a spare i would give you it i swear i promise i know thats not enough but i'd give it to you

"i cant fix myself" is how she starts. "i'll be fine, in the end, hopefully" she says like an hour after regenerating after describing just how much it fucks her up and how scary it is and how painful and how much of a gamble, really, how much of a leap of faith and hoping for the best, hoping for that net to appear because if it doesnt......... theres no backup

are you alright, doctor? are you okay? yaz has asked a hundred times without getting an answer. and now she finally does and it seems to recontextualise every dodge that has come before. stop asking, it's not the end yet, theres still time, a little more patience, i will figure it out, i will be able to give you a yes eventually im sure of it.

but now it is the end, regeneration looms again, time is running out, and this endlessly delayed answer sounds like a resignation. i cant do it. not in time. maybe not ever. but definitely not before the plane crashes and i take you down with me. i broke the universe and i cant fix it. it's too late. i dawdled too much.

and what this could have been, but isnt, because neither of them take it this way, think of it this way, because theyre too much alike, and not like this at all, but what this could have been, in intention and reception, is a request for help. i give up, i cant figure this out, but can you? the doctor doesnt mean this, and yaz has always been too attentive to the limits, too respectful of the doctor's boundaries (from "who, me? no. never doubted. don't know what you mean" in ghost monument to "can we just live in the present") to misinterpret it this way. so theyre on the same page. a page, as always, decided on by the doctor. but it does make the perfect set up for the finale

because i do think, sort of, that yaz fixed it. not you know the millennia of trauma but the specific inability of 13 to trust people. the clara/river/missy/bill my-friends-die-or-are-not-what-they-seem-or-both cant-hold-anyones-hand-but-my-own inability to trust her friends are her friends and they will not like explode into gore and viscera if she touches them (which now that ive said it i bet is what she has nightmares about. perfect match with what i think yaz has nightmares about which is the doctor exploding into gore and viscera and not being able to do anything abt it. actually the best idea i think ive ever written abt what yaz has nightmares about is "or you take off your coat and youre wearing dynamite", but i digress) that, i think yaz sort of fixes when she saves the doctor and saves the world and i think if 13 had lived she'd have trusted yaz after that in a way she couldnt before and maybe even that realisation of "you saved my life" in that weird malleable state of post-pseudoregeneration might have had a hand in why 14 is the way he is

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Pretty Girl | 5. hold my hand

1. pretty girl | 2. lover, you should’ve come over | 3. been on my mind | 4. last goodbye | 5. hold my hand

Warnings: again, mention of ed and ed discussion. if you want to skip those parts, go to the instagram story part :)

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Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, delilah.seresin, hangman.jake, and 1,089,282 more

y/n.username so guys,

you may or may not have noticed the inactivity, the rumors, the distance, or the chaos that’s recently been surrounding me and my life. if you haven’t, good on you.

i have no intention on denying anything said about me. it’s not my responsibility to acknowledge the lies that people spread about me, and it’s certainly not my job to change my lifestyle because someone i no longer associate with decided that my time is past.

that being said, i also have no intention on denying comments made about my past with an eating disorder. without getting into specifics, i want people to know that i’m not ashamed or scared to discuss my body and the choices i’ve made about it. yes, i’ve had moments of struggle about how i look. yes, i’ve learned how to love myself and see value in the people who love me. i’m not alone in my struggle, and neither is anyone else.

Comments have been disabled

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10 minutes.

That’s all the time it took with Jake on the phone to convince him to come and see you that day.

That’s all it took for him to pay double for shitty plane tickets, fight through fans and press, and show up at your door hours later with roses and open arms. You’d talked with him for 10 minutes and everything clicked together like it always used to.

Jake told you about his sister and her own struggles with her body; how, when he was 11, Delilah was 19 and raising him and his little sister Lillibet. How that didn’t leave much room for positive reinforcement in Delilah’s mind about how she looked. How she hid it from everyone else and didn’t get any help until it was almost too late.

You know now, looking back on that day, that Jake had been absolutely terrified of almost loosing someone else to mental health. You couldn’t have known, just like he couldn’t have known about you, and together that created a messy jigsaw of unexplained, very real emotions that didn’t fit together at the time.

Jake’s anger, understandable yet unwarranted, and your stubbornness made quite the wedge in between you. A wedge, however, that was nothing compared to the immediate reconciliation that took place on the phone call. He finally, finally told you why it meant so much to him, and you told him where he misstepped.

That had been enough to convince him to come see you in New York on a whim.

And he hasn’t left since. It’s been five weeks of reconnecting, getting to know each other more, and finding new ways to love him. It may sound trite, but he really does surprise you every single day. Whether it’s coffee from your favorite cafe on the way back from his run or a carefully planned date, he never disappoints.

You can’t say that it’s easy. There are going to be difficulties no matter who you��re with, but Jake makes them worth it.

He’s worth the pain and the drama and the rumors and the talking. He’s worth it all.

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Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

 ——————————————————————————

Messages

get bagman in the bag, man

tash: barf

callie: gross

you: because i’m so adorable?

callie: you are

callie: hangman isn’t

you: disagree

you: respectfully <3

tash: i know babe

tash: what are you doing today?

you: shopping to celebrate

callie: celebrate what?

you: i got a job

you: in paris

tash: NO FUCKONG WAY

tash: THATS INCREDIBLE

callie: BABEEE

callie: IM SO PROUD OF TOU

you: THANK YOUUU

you: ILY

callie: can we come visit you

tash: i’m coming with you

you: yes please

——————————————————————————

Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

——————————————————————————

Messagss

you: oh shit

jakey: what

you: everyone’s going to think i’m shopping for a wedding dress

jakey: are you?

you: you haven’t asked me anything

jakey: hmm

jakey: i’ll have to fix that soon

you: …

jakey: ♥️

you: so should i be wedding dress shopping

jakey: only if you want to, darlin’

you: i’m going to scream into a pillow

jakey: wait till i really ask you

jakey: you’re not going to know what to do with yourself

you: that’s what tasha is for

jakey: i was hoping you would say you would scream into my pillow

you: baby.

you: now i have to cut that out of the screenshot i’m sending to tash and callie

jakey: paybacks a bitch

you: no he isn’t.

jakey: you know what i mean

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Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, roo_bradshaw, halo_cal_bass, and 2,382,299 more

y/n.username we say hi from paris 🥖

view 347,292 comments

tasha.trace I MISS YOUUU

-> y/n.username COME VISITTT

halo_cal_bass save some paris fun for me

y/nsrealgf she’s living her best life rn

penny.benny Awww! Have the best time ever!

jakeyywife okay but her and jake are so cute i can’t believe they’re back together

delilah.seresin my favs <33

r_paybackfinch why didn’t i get invited :(

-> y/n.username you’re always invited :((

roo_bradshaw unfair i wanna go to paris instead of hangman

-> tasha.trace then maybe ask your girlfriend to go

-> tasha.trace i’m sure she wouldn’t oppose

maverick.mitchell Amazing! Tell Jake to take you out to dinner!

-> y/n.username i will!

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Messages

you: mav says to take me out to dinner

jakey: lucky for you i already had that planned

jakey: there’s a dress for you on the bed

jakey: i’m downstairs whenever your ready

you: AWWWW

jakey: no rush

you: crying

jakey: don’t cry, darlin’

you: too late

jakey: …

jakey: i love you

you: i love you too

you: i don’t know why you thought that would make me stop crying though

jakey: ♥️

you: <3

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A/n: guys!! it’s finished. this series has meant so much to me and i thank you so much for all of your support. let me know what you think about this last part, and send me any thoughts, requests, anything you want <33 nova out ⭐️

taglist: @rosiahills22 @fangirlvibez @djs8891 1 @shanimallina87 @abaker74 @lauraseresin

[heartbreakempress]

Fairiest of All

(This is my first time writing, so excuse my grammatical errors or spellings, BTW the appearance of the character is OC Please enjoy>\\\<)

Warning: Violence, mentions of abuse, pregnancy, Smut, Rape, kidnapping, angst, cursing, maybe happy ending in last part.

Maybe being born beautiful is not always a blessing, having a face that rivals goddesses can endanger your whole existence, having suitors surround you barely letting you explore the world that awaits, and a family that keeps you hidden from prying eyes of others, suffocates you until you can barely breath.

Golden locks that shines like the brightest sun, lips like the red-red rose, nose sculpted to perfection, eyes twinkle like the bluest star, skin white as the whitest snow and body like an hour glass. Her name is y/n, a princess, the epitome of beauty in their land, now weeping in her bedroom after her father the king announces that he arranged a wedding for her with a fine young prince who can give all the love she deserves. She packed all the things she needed and after 2 days will travel to the land of his husband to-be.

Arriving she was welcomed with warmth from everyone and also from prince y/n was to be married, handsome young man and to her perspective a kind one to her perspective, maybe this won't be bad, she thinks. After 5 days building a friendship with the prince sure is good but at the same day finding out that he already had 3 women in waiting to be his concubine after the wedding, broke your heart to pieces. So, here you are walking along the shore rethinking your life decisions, maybe planning some rebellion to take the throne or something. "huh fuck life and that prince, the ocean looks ethereal maybe a bath won't hurt?". The princess is just wearing a long white robe with a feather pattern. Slowly she took a step towards the water feeling the cool sensation, she walked farther until she's plunged underwater diving to her hearts content, not knowing the God of the Seas watching her every move.

The gods of seas pov:

Looking around the shore as part of taking care of the ocean Is a must, to make sure those pest humans don't do anything to harm my kingdom, after a while of patrolling I saw a human girl, staring to the see mumbling something, humans sure are crazy. I see that she's walking towards the see, is she going to contaminate my ocean? Walking forward I'm stunned, taking in her breathtaking features that even supprases Aphrodite, I just stare at the human girl until she's plunged in the water, after a while she starts to emerged from the water, staring intently in her figure her blond locks is like dripping with diamonds, her breast perk completely seen and skin glistening under that robe. I was about to approach her when someone came shouting, '' Princess your bride lesson is about to start where are you? '', what bride lesson she's about to get married? I should not concern myself with this humanly matter, after that I left going back to the castle.

Thinking that serene encounter with that human princess I can sleep for 3 nights, that scene keeps repeating in my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about that girl im growing crazy, I'm perfect in every way, it's that girls fault I'm being like this, but hahaha I'm lonely for centuries now, maybe a little wife who can carry my children doesn't sound so bad, and who would dare to disobey me. TONIGHT I MUST HAVE YOU.

Sleeping in the guest bedroom I feel uncomfortable for some reason, I feel someone watching me and also it's extra chilly tonight or is it the ocean breeze? (btw the castle is close to the ocean so hahaha), I decided to go back to sleep thinking it's just the wind until a looming figure appears, I was about to get up and turn around when the voice spoke and said '' My Sweet Y/N let's go to your new home'', thats the last thing I remember after that horrible night.

The said princess wakes up frightened knowing she's no longer in her room only to find her self in a luxurious room with white and blue walls and a ocean like ceiling, her clothes has been changed to a pink transparent robe with nothing underneath, showing everything to offer, y/n gets up to look in the window thinking maybe she could escape, but looking she's surrounded by waters a literal ocean water. Rocking her brains out, how the hell is she under water? Who kidnapped her, is the kingdom she left looking for? She's in the state of panic thinking a way to escape, when the door opened living the panicking princess stiff and frightened. '' You're Awake'', looking at her captor she's blown away by the perfect being in front of her with a trident in hand and a perfect toned body , shaking the idea she gathered all her courage and ask' ʼ'who are you, why did you abduct me?

The man stares at her with emotionless face and said '' Poseidon, God if Seas'' her whole world crumble knowing she can' t runaway from this one. The said God stared at her intently seeing the see through robe that he provided, he starts approaching her and uttered one word that leaves the girl shaking in fear, '' strip''. Knowing where this thing is headed the girl pleaded ' 'please no! Anything but that!' 'y/n started crying not knowing what to do. Poseidon puts his trident aside and hurriedly tossed the girl in bed,' '' I'm lonely for so long, I need a perfect being like you to relieve this urge, have my hot cum inside you until it become bloated because of too much hot spurt and for you to carry my child, I also need a wife and it happens that you appeared, now stay still we will make love to each other. The girl thrashed around trying to escape, only for the God of seas to slap her, '' stay still or you will suffer consequences, do you understand? Poseidon says clearly pissed because of the disobedience shown by his so called wife.

He started kissing her neck going up to meet her soft plump lips, savoring the strawberry tastes, snaking his long tongue clashing with hers, the girl stiffens when she feels his hand cupping her breast roughly. Poseidon suddenly sits taking in the beautiful girl underneath him, he tears the transparent robe and proceeds to position his head inside the princess thighs, '' hmmm vanilla''he said taking in the smell of arousal before diving in and eating out the girl hungrily like having the last meal of his life time, flicking, sucking and biting on the: inside thighs leaving the girl moaning, squirming, shaking taking in her first ever orgasm.

'' Aahh ah Please enough I can take it anymore'' she said panting hard,' '' You have to take four of my fingers if you want to take my cock'' the God said showing his fingers,' '' aagh ha ha please stop'' the girl cried when she feels one finger enters her spongey muscle. Poseidon adds two more finger while sucking on her pink buds. You feel like the world is spinning each time the God of seas drills his finger forward, hitting all the right spot making your body shiver, adding another finger you feel full. After a minute of fingering, you feel the orgasm building, '' ah! Ah! I'm cumming''. Poseidon sits up and starts to undress letting his perfect body display in full glory, letting his thick fat cock spring out, Y/N tried to get up and runaway only for Poseidon to catch her,' '' the best part is coming and your running away?, pulling back he positioned his cock, rubbing his tip to part the slit of her pussy and begins to push inside. You cried feeling ripped apart, '' now, now the pain will subside later, bear with it'' Poseidon then suddenly pushes everything earning a hard scream from you' '' why would you do this it hurts really'' Poseidon just ignored your words and keeps delivering powerful thrust rocking your world upside down. After a minute of thrusting Poseidon' s cock started to twitch, his orgasm is near ''now be good and take all of my seed, don't spill a drop, you should be honored that you will receive this' 'with one final thrust he released rope after rope of cum, he spreads your legs and pushed the overflowing cum with his fingers. After that he' s still not satisfied with one round making you bend in every position he likes and shooting hot spurt of come inside you, '' ah ah ah Please I'm so tired I can't do it anymore'' You said with tears streaming your face, Poseidon thrusts in ungodly pace realeasing his last hot cum inside her,he kissed her forehead laying beside the blond girl wrapping his arms around her both of them drifting to sleep' '' truly my love your the fairiest of all''.The girl barely heard what the god said praying that everything that just happened is a bad dream, wishing everything will go back to normal when she wakes up. May the days ahead heals her shattered heart.

(there's a part two and I'm taking request, see you>^<)

[polyhexian]

Murder drones pre-finale marathon begins. The new episode actually starts airing in two minutes but I wanted to wait until nightfall anyway. And also I want to be able to pause if like. I spill a drink or something. And my roommate left so now I have the house to myself. So it's time for a rewatch!!!

First thing is the same thing I always note when i watch the pilot again. It's incredible how MUCH the animation has improved over the last few years. And it was already great! I have also noted only the first episode has their eyes floating inside their visors rather than displayed on top, so when they turn their head to the side you can see both eyes. I definitely like the update.

The first episode also includes a lot of extra exaggerated subtle motion thats supposed to give it life but makes it look ever so slightly like motion capture rather than animation with intent behind it. The rigs improve so much along with the lipsync. And they were ALREADY good.

Tho, like future episodes, it can be a little too literally dark at times. That's why I want to watch it at night so badly; daytime screen glare really is a nuisance.

The humour is still perfect though. Absolutely incredible comedic timing. It's so SNAPPY and knows exactly how long to make a shot, how far to take a joke. And everyone's line delivery is positively incredible. Michael kovac is truly living for this role lol. He just sounds so delighted the entire time.

The score for MD is always great but they certainly have less diversity in episode one.

"sure. I love doing anything!" Is the single funniest line delivery I've ever heard in my life.

It's so funny seeing the v intro scene again because it's like. "Oh god, who are you?" Is so funny because. She can't see him. V knows exactly who he is because they've known each other forever. But she needs glasses lmfao. She's like oh god what the fuck who are you because he's a blob. Foreshadowing you don't know is foreshadowing!!

"I left an extremely dangerous we- excuse outside!" Fhjrjdjr

I love how n's legs look. They just have this extremely satisfying style the way they're designed. I actually like v and J's weird hips and legs but since there's only three murder drones anyway I think they should have given J something different. they fit V to a T but I think you could do something different for J that was more specifically her and offer some more design diversity! J should have feet. Maybe some smart Business Heels or something. Or, she's got kind of a very light gothic Lolita thing going on. Idk.

God I love when Khan abandons Uzi and even N is like damn that was fucked up wow.

Im hoping to get a bit of closure on this in the end but J's entire shtick is the whole business boss thing. But obviously we know now that earth has Exploded so. There isn't a company left sending orders. N notes SOMEONE was sending her orders and we know that was Cyn as Tessa and I suspect J does not know Tessa is Cyn, but technically that's not confirmed I think. But sort of. J's big ol business thing. I wonder if we may get further context on that personality trait.

It's VERY funny watching Doll in this episode like girl why ain't you doing anything

LOVE how N just picks her up like a cat and puts her on his shoulders. Just like it's nothing. Up you go, Uzi!

Love how the stinger at the end of uzi laughing maniacally about killing all humans never really comes to anything. Like it sets it up as if that's the plot, they're going to go attempt to do that. But no lol that's nothing

Next episode we go!

[p8droo]

Hellooooo rayyyyy!!! How are you ?! I hope you’re doing well :))) I saw that your requests were open and BOLTED.

I wanted to know if I could request a kaka x reader fic?? I had just a really vague idea of the fic most of its up to you ! Could you maybe incorporate the friends to lovers trope in there? Kaka and reader are really good friends and close. But reader starts feeling lonely and starts going on dates in order to find a relationship. Kaka notices and gets jealous??? [could there also be some nsfw??]

Thank you so muchhhh!!! Remember to take care of yourself and to stay hydrated and to do something you e enjoy doing, you deserve it ❤️❤️

-H

more then friends.

a / n : this story is set in 2003-2007 era’s! + angst/fluff

ricardo was your best friend. yes. the ac milan star.. you two had met back when he was still playing in são paulo, you’d watch your friends play and eventually he caught your eye, you two kicked it off really good. when he moved to ac milan, you moved just too see him play. you were practically inseparable. sleepless nights talking to each other about your favorite things. you two would get drunk and speak about the dumbest subjects, laughing and just having fun.

but ricardo had been a bit popular with everyone recently. he’s been focused very much on his career, no more of those sweet moments that you both would cherish.. rather you’d see him smiling to you on the pitch once or twice, thats if he noticed you under all those fangirls. you find yourself not being able to ever talk to him.. you can’t even call him because he’s always working out. it’s not like you didnt watch him train at the stadium, you’re realizing the reality that maybe.. just maybe.. he’s playing in europe, he’s a changed man.

it hurts seeing him never ever get the time to talk to you.. it was another weekend, you went to watch your best friend play. seeing him on magazines got you even more sad. you sat in your usual spot, looking towards ricardo.. watching him train. upon watching him train, you tried thinking of anything to cope with it. you’re getting so worked up.. ricardo had a teammate that seemed always interested when talking to you, paulo.. paulo maldini.. he was a defender, a really good one. paulo was the one always looking at you, he enjoyed looking at you.. he loved the way your hair looked, how delicate your voice was and how caring you were towards his friends, ricardo. actually one time , after a match, maldini had asked you out.. you didn’t mind it, you took the offer, you let him talk to you after that match.. even ranted to him about it. the whole situation, the way you think ricardo wasn’t into you anymore, how you couldn’t help but cry about it sometimes.

“you’re a pretty girl [name].. and i feel bad for just taking you out, because ricardo really loves talking about you. but what im hearing from you sounds like he’s being a bad friend” maldini sighed. you two kept walking on around the stadium, letting the grass touch your pretty sandals. “trust me, gli importa davvero.” <he really cares>. you smiled softly hearing that. “grazie di tutto!” <thank you for everything> you smiled sweetly.

you and paulo had grown closer, and eventually everyone knew. tv, magazines and ricardo kaka. ricardo noticed, and it was really hard to just watch you celebrate winning the league with you and the italian defender. on one day , you made your way to a match.. sitting down you smiled.. admiring the celebrations from the fans. you saw ricardo gesturing you to go down from the seats and celebrate with him. you smiled and did that. “hey! how have you been?” he asked hugging you. “i’ve been alright, how about you?” your sweet smile made the brazilian’s heart melt completely.. he was so happy to have you in his arms. “look— im really sorry for just distancing myself accidentally.. it was never my intention and i just..” ricardo was cut off by your hands cupping his cheek. paulo watch from a far, you guys’s plan worked.. making ricardo jealous worked. you smiled. ricardo blushed.. you kissed him. infront of everyone who thought you and maldini were together. ricardo kissed back.. taking your hand.. you two ran to the locker rooms.

[thejournallo]

hello!!! i think i got close to shifting the night!!! for the last 3 nights ive been trying some methods whether it be stuff i found on tumblr or guides methods on spotify. but none of them seems to be my thing, as after a while i get real awake and struggle to fall asleep as well as get bored. last night i decided to simply listen to powerful shifting subliminals before sleeping and during it. the day before i had read that i don't actually need a method or anything just simply my intention would be enough and ngl i'm a bit lazy but i just wanna wake up in my dr so bad🙏🙏 during it i said some affirmations then slept but woke up afterwards(it was a 2 hour video) and i couldn't sleep back. people in the comments were saying they have shifted to this regardless of if they have used a method or not. i laid awake for like 20 mins and then finnaly decide to close to video when there was like 10 mins before it was gonna end and decided to do some stuff to make me sleepy(it was 3 am) i don't really have a script but only something that is for security. i merely imagined things in my head, even something big as who my friends gonna be, where i will live etc or just said then simply in my mind, unable to find something for them and just see them once i'm in my dr. i hope this is enough?? bc im really not good at visualizing i can only think of certain actions happening that's why i hate methods too i'm unable to do them properly. anyway when i was finnaly sleepy,i found a powerful subliminal on spotify that is 1 hour long, simply said stuff like "i am in my dr, i will wake up in my dr, i have the intention to wake up in my dr" a couple times and tried to imagine myself sleeping there. the thing is i didn't change almost anything about myself so since it's very much the same as me now i cannot see my dr self any different than me. nevertheless, very close to me falling asleep, i felt like i was my dr self!! kept my eyes closed, i didn't feel anything physical but only felt as if i was truly in my dr sleeping there. and i had such a blank dream, literally no one or anything, just pitch black where i felt myself as if i was my dr self again. unfortunately i woke up here but i think this is a big sign?? and just one more little thing,, as i said i didn't script but i want some very general event to happen such as getting into the school i want, getting married, going on vacations etc but i don't really have a visualtion of my mind but rather things that will happen there, thats enough for them to happen write? i really don't like writing scripts if anything ill just add there. anyway, so sorry for writing such a long paragraph and i hope i made sense(english isn't my first language😖) and can you guide me a bit!! have a lovely dayyyyy<33

HELLO! AND CONGRATULATION, LITTLE STAR!

I'm so excited for you! And yes, it is a big sign that you are shifting! I'm so happy that you shared this great achievement with me! 🥺

Btw tho! To answer your questions! You don't have to write it for it to happen; intentions are powerful!

As you saw last night, our intentions are enough to let things happen! If you want to check if they happen, if you have a specific scene in mind, I suggest you have a list with a keyword connected to that scene so when it happens, you will know!

Ex: I want Fred Weasly to ask me out on a date. Keyword: date night scene.

Some general things I can suggest you do are: use YouTube instead of Spotify. On YouTube, you will find 10-hour-long videos with affirmations and non-affirmations.

I use brown sounds to fall asleep, but I found 10 hours of subliminals about abondance. I dont see why there could not be a subliminal for shifting.

BTW, keep going like this! You are not forced to use a method, and for sure, you don't need one because you are powerful enough to do it! I will be here! I am waiting to know your progress and celebrate your achievements with you.

Congratulations again, darling!

[rin-and-jade]

Question that's not explicitly plurality related but I think that yall would probably know the most about it, if that's ok?

How can you tell when a thought is yours? Like I'll have thoughts that I definitely know I'm thinking, but there's also a song running in the background (which I think is normal to not be able to stop, don't know if it's normal to purposefully try to think over it and have it still go just sound like it's underneath your thoughts), and other background noise too. By "background noise" I mean random trains of thought that I can't fully hear unless I focus on them. And then sometimes my brain will just start talking, narrating my life or telling a story or making up a scenerio or something. Sometimes it's full on conversations. It's not something that I'm trying to do, and if I'm like "hey brain, can you shut up ^.^" it'll be like "no" and resume (sometimes it just doesn't stop and sometimes it will literally say no, the latter not often though)

I'll also have conversations with myself, both outloud/internal and internal/internal, but only one of them will really feel like conscious thought so idk what's up there

I can't tell if my brain is just running without my input or if something else might be up here, but I figured that you guys most likely have more experience than a lot of people (singlets) with thoughts-that-don't-belong-to-you sooo.... yeah

Yep, im ok with it; Well in general means, there still can be thoughts that seems to be lingering around that doesn't necessarily correlate to being plural! I definitely know what you're talking about, so in this case i thought of a few things such as:

Intrusive thoughts This is when you unexpectedly think of something, which seem to pop up here and there that didn't actively come from you. How often someone experiences, and what kinds of thoughts have no limits. This one will make sense when you mean thinking things that doesn't relate to your train of thought or personality at all.

Neurodivergency Most apparent/often for people with ADHD, they often have their minds being loud with many background thoughts, often repeating a part of a song and or words. I am not entirely sure if this is for stimulation (keeping yourself from being bored or something) or because of scattered focus or other reasons that i had not mentioned. This isn't only limited to ADHD btw.

My Experience Well, some people are chatty in nature, im one of them, i often think alot, chat to myself alot to the point of having a fake convo (i know im the one replying to myself, thats the thing) because you're brain is super active and all that.. eh, i wish it's silent you know? And it doesn't have anything to do with those two things up there before.

And to answer your very first question to how you can know it's your thought.. i can only explain in one definition: You always know the reason, or why, or the train of thought behind it. Something that interjects and does and follow your flow is a foreign thought.

Also, to be safe, these are what you have to look out for that could mean your thoughts... can be alters:

Commenting on different preferences often

Commenting on what you're doing, sometimes telling you to do it differently or somewhere along the lines

Refer with different names

Have consistent, distinguishable accent/tone/characteristic (where, obviously, are not your thoughts)

Seem to have different views, morals, ethics

Capable of handling conversations, and reasoning, as if it's a physical person you're talking to. Which is entirely outside of your own will and intention

Often dissociate, feel like a different you, and have inconsistent likes/dislikes

If you seem to match up with these signs, you are likely to be an undiscovered system. And i will dedicate myself to further assist you to assess if you are one in an even more detailed/complete manner because it takes a decent amount of time to figure this out (oh and feel free to read DID resources just incase). If you got your answer, thats great! If you think you are a system, feel free to refer this ask when DMing me alright?

Wish you a good day.

- j

[youremyheaven]

i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

[p1xiemeat]

ive been living with sensory issues my whole life, i freak out when someone makes small changes to my routine, like i hate doing spontaneous things, most of the time i hate physical affection, & i have such a hard time socializing & making friends. i have bipolar disorder and other disorders like anxiety, etc. but my treatment for those things doesn't help with these other issues i have. i hate being like this and i want to work toward change but i don't know what to do to work toward it. 😞

like i said i have trouble making friends and i always have since i was a kid. i've always felt like an alien compared to other ppl. and that's fine because i prefer being alone. but i hate that i can't act normal in social situations and ppl always think im rude or weird when im not trying to be 😢 and it sucks because i kinda have to be in social settings sometimes because i have children. and i dread it for these reasons every time. nobody is interested in the same things as me. and when i talk about my interests ppl tell me im too obsessed with something or tell me its weird altogether. which hurts. and when i am able to make "friends" i always get taken advantage of because i can never tell when someone is taking advantage of me and my kindness or if they have malicious intentions with me. and i feel stupid every time because my bf will tell me they are "obviously playing you" or my mom will say stuff like "can't you tell that they aren't interested?" or the one i always get is "why can't you see that this guy is flirting with you/trying to sleep with you."

idk if im just having a panic attack or a mental breakdown or what. but this has been building up inside of me for years. i feel so stupid and weird. i have to carry lotion around with me because if my hands don't have moisture on them at all times i literally sit there with chills going up my spine and i can't touch anything. certain clothes make me want to rip my skin off. and my family gets annoyed every time i have to run back in the house because i forgot to grab it. which just adds to the guilt i feel for being this way and i can't control these issues no matter how hard i try.

i've literally made so many lists and "rules" for myself on how to act around ppl and i try so hard to follow them just to get through whatever event is going on.

i think thats why i throw myself into my interests and use them to escape reality so much. once i find something i like i become obsessed with it forever and i talk about it so much to the point where my bf tells me its too much. certain characters and shows are the only thing that brings me comfort sometimes. i have so many unnecessary lists and categories for my interests. i know its very time consuming and pointless but just having them makes me feel better. like pinterest for example is my best friend lol. making these lists and stuff just soothes me in a way. as stupid as that sounds. but even tho it comforts me it still makes me feel stupid because ive never met anyone else who does that.

i've never ever spoken about this stuff online/publicly before. mainly because of embarrassment and fear of being bullied for it since ive already been relentlessly harassed for a million other things. i just have so much anxiety all the time. and doing pointless things helps with it but i want to stop feeling this way. or at least have answers as to why i am this way so maybe i can fix it. im tired of feeling awkward or different from other ppl. i want to be normal and pleasant to be around. i want to get along with the other parents at school functions instead of being scared to talk to ppl. i can't even make eye contact with anyone i talk to. ive tried since i was LITERALLY a child and no matter what i always get scared or nervous and look away. and its really noticeable to other ppl because they've mentioned it to me.

i'm posting this to vent but also maybe someone reading this has gone through the same thing or can help me. because i feel so hopeless and im scared im going to be this way forever. ive only been able to find info on the sensory thing and ive found that there is no way to get rid of it. ive tried everything and ive given up on that. but i know i can change my actions and how i interact with ppl if i can just figure out WHY i am like this.

pls don't laugh at me or say anything mean if you choose to comment on this post. i already have so much anxiety and fear about posting it. i don't want sympathy or anything like that. i just need help 😞🥺😢

i have an appointment booked for seeing a psychiatrist but that isn't until november i haven't seen one since i was a little kid. so i'm hoping to maybe get some answers in the meantime.

i already can't work and im getting disability soon because my bipolar is so crippling. it affects my ability to function so much. and i have these other problems on top of it. the fact that i can't even make a living like "normal" ppl makes me feel bad about myself already. and since i can't get a job or a career i want i just want to feel normal in my everyday life and around ppl AT THE VERY LEAST.