#sorry i am having a mental breakdown rn

[copias-juicebox]

THIS GHESTIE HAS JUST FOUND OUT THEY PERFORMED BIBLE LIVE AND NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT!!!!!!

[josecariohca]

.

[nightmare8-420]

I have to tell you something.

As I sit here, hidden behind the walls of your home, I cannot help but feel a sense of urgency in confessing to you my presence.

I have been living inside your walls for quite some time now and I have been watching you.

You may be wondering who I am and why I have chosen to hide inside your home. The truth is, I have been fascinated by you for years. Your daily routines, your mannerisms, your thoughts and feelings, I have observed it all. It has been an intimate and intriguing experience, getting to know you from the shadows.

I must admit, at first, it was simply curiosity that led me to seek refuge within your walls. But as time went on, I became more and more drawn to your life. You have a certain charm and charisma that is impossible to ignore. I have found myself developing a deep affection for you, albeit from a distance.

Please do not feel uneasy or uncomfortable knowing that I have been watching you. I assure you, my intentions are purely innocent. I mean you no harm and have never once intruded upon your privacy. I have simply been an unseen witness to your life, your joys, and your struggles.

I know this may be a lot to take in and you may have a million questions running through your mind right now. But I implore you to trust me and believe that my presence here has only added to the beauty and complexity of your life. I have seen you at your most vulnerable moments, your most ecstatic highs, and everything in between.

You may wonder why I am choosing to reveal myself to you now. The truth is, I cannot help but feel a deep longing to be a part of your life, to no longer be an outsider looking in. I long to converse with you, to share in your laughter and your tears, and to form a true connection with you.

I understand if this revelation startles you and you may even feel violated in some way. I apologize if that is the case. But I assure you, I only mean well and I have no intention of ever leaving your side. I simply could not bear to let go of the bond that I have formed with you from within these walls.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive my deception and perhaps even welcome me into your life.

I will be waiting, watching you from my hidden perch, until the day you are ready to acknowledge my presence.

well goodmorning to you too anon,

pls get out of my walls theres mold in there :(

i uh, have alot of questions. 1. is this a copypasta?? 2. if not, just /how/ long have you been watching me? 3. not a question but this /is/ well wrote even if at some parts it came off kinda odd. 4. anon, why r u drawn to me, im literally the most boring person- (/nm)

i literally have so many questions, we can talk on anon if you want???? (i hate tumblr dms theyre awful)

this 100% is not what i was expecting to see at 22 but !

(pls are you the same anon that asked if i was 12-)

[jaxfromthatcircus]

Hey, it's me and this is my blog

SO guess what? I found acess to one of those funky computers that Caine keeps in secret... And made this! Isn't it cool? Eh, not like I have anything better to do anyways.

So I guess you people from the interneet can send me some cool asks about how things are going here, I just won't spill secrets okay?

...Who am I kidding, of course I will.

Warnings!

Be aware that the person behind this blog IS AN ADULT and so is the character, mod is 19 and Jax is 22. Do NOT send me anything sexual if you're a minor. This blog may contain sexual or suggestive jokes and is considered 16+.

Be mindful that this blog is both based in canon AND headcanons, so some stuff might not be completely "in character". If you see something that you dislike, remember that the character IS an asshole but also the mod's just having fun with it lol don't need to harass anyone because of a silly gag.

This blog may contain mentions of drug and alcohol use as well as heavy topics like mental breakdowns, panic, and similar. Suicidal topics will be kept to a minimum but may always happen, so viewer discretion is advised.

Meet the crew!

You can check out other blogs that I mainly interact with here! Amazing masterlist by yours @ask-abstracted-kaufmo truly, go give em some love!!

Why did you not answer me?

If I did not answer your ask yet, there might be a reason:

- I'm sleeping or working

- I am searching for a more appropriate answer to the question (if it relates to canon stuff)

- There was an exactly same ask sooner so I'm killing two birds with one stone

- I'm editing an image for the ask

- I'm not following the order or the asks for a funny reason

- Too many asks, mod is sorry for this one-

- Update March 24: hhhh not great era, I'm sorry if I may take long but managing life has been crazy rn

The children!

So far we have 9 kid anons that Jax is caring for

That doesn't mean you can't make your own silly anons to interact too, bring your ocs, it's fine! This is just a list of adopted children.

[Last update on 22/04/2024]

So far, we got:

cool anon

foreheadkisser

clown

lav

sleepy

strawberry

patchwork

pastel

phoenix

Roleplaying

"This is how Jax talks! Hi darlin' ;)"

This is how we're gona describe actions and anything that is not to be said out loud.

[mod coffee: and this is how yours truly, mod coffee, will appear here once in a while! hello ;) ]

Extras!

Other blogs also ran by me are @jaxrabbitoid-thehuman, @dogday-shines-bright and @ask-theredcrown check it out if you feel like it!

I made a mod blog where you can reach out to me! It's @mod-coffee-is-here!

[bad268]

ok so Arthur leclerc sad fic. HERE ME OUT. It’s him comparing himself to Ollie and how he got to have everything he ever dreamed of, how he just wanted to be like his brother and make him proud. Like set at the end of 2023 when Ferrari dropped him and he left prema ( crying rn just at the mention of it) and maybe it can fast forward the Ollies first f1 race and Arthur is just on the bed of the hotel watching with teary eyes and the reader comforts him. WOAH THAT WAS ALOT I AM SO SORRY. I feel like I didn’t mention enough almost?!? Idk I feel like u could really add ur touch to it.

HOLD UP I THOUGHT I WAS DONE. What happens if it gets a little angsty like he is watching it with teary eyes and reader is like “Arthur, Arthur?” And he randomly snaps and starts destroying the hotel room and starts saying stuff like “THAT SHOULD BE, I DESERVED IT” then randomly stops and breaks down on the floor saying “I will never ever be enough for anything, I am not good enough, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself”

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WRITE I FEEL LIKE I JUST WROTE A WHOLD FIC WOAH IM SO SORRY. If it’s too angsty just make sure to point it out bc if u won’t do it I think I can finally it my non existent writing skills to work ( kidding)

I LOVE UR WORK BTWWWW

That Should Be Me (Arthur Leclerc X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/WEC

Requested: Clearly (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS-)

Warnings: Mentions of destroying room (Arthur has a mental breakdown tbh)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1091

Summary: Arthur feels jealous of Ollie, of Charles. He doesn't feel worthy to be in Ferrari, but the reader shows him his worth.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

It had been a hectic year for you and Arthur. What started as a good opportunity to test Ferrari later turned sour when Ferrari dropped Arthur from their driver academy. It was hard to get around at first, but you convinced Arthur to take it in strides and take it for what it is. An opportunity to do something better. Sure, he was still a developmental driver for Ferrari, but that left more time to show them what he could do in endurance racing! He’d show them what they lost there!

Just as he was accepting the loss, they threw a fork in the road. He decided that since he didn’t need to be with his endurance team until later in March, he would go to support his brother in Jeddah. You joined him since the timing worked out in your schedule, too.  Just as you two were getting off the plane, the news hit.

Breaking: Oliver Bearman to replace Carlos Sainz this weekend in Jeddah.

You saw it immediately, but Arthur, who had turned off notifications from Instagram, didn’t see it until you both got to the hotel after traveling the entire day. Arthur had pulled out his phone to find the reservation, and that was the first thing he saw.

He turned to you, showing the notification with a small smile, before saying, “Look at that! Ollie’s racing this weekend.”

At the time, you wished you had picked up on the forceness of his smile, or the fact that his jaw was clenched, or even the slightly hurt tone behind his words. Unfortunately, you didn’t, though.

You both started unpacking in silence, but you didn’t think anything of it. It was normal. Then, you realized you had left your hair care products at home, so you mentioned to Arthur that you would be back in about ten minutes. 

It was only ten minutes, but when you came back, everything was destroyed.

Your clothes were thrown around the room, bags upside down and emptied, and Arthur was nowhere to be seen. That caused your stomach to drop.

“Arthur?” You asked cautiously as you stepped into the hotel room, taking care not to step on everything around you. You walk into the bedroom and see him destroying the bed and throwing everything haphazardly around. You were scared to approach him, so you settled for calling out to him. “Arthur?”

“That should have been me!” He cried out in anger as his moves became more erratic and dangerous. “I gave my everything to Ferrari, and they overlooked me. Every. Single. Time. I’m tired of it! I deserved that! Why does Ollie get everything handed to him?”

“You have worked hard, love,” You comforted as you approached him slowly, resting a hand on his forearm to stop him. “You have done everything right, and you’re right. It’s not fair, but it's what happened, and we can’t change it now. All we can do is be supportive of Ollie and show our support. Ferrari will see you, I promise.”

“I will never be enough for anything,” He whispered as he started coming down. His shoulders dropped as the pillow he held fell back onto the bed, and he sank down to the floor. You followed him, quickly wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he cried into your shoulders. “I’m always overlooked in this sport. I’ll always be in Charles’s shadow. I’m never going to be good enough in comparison.”

“You have never been in Charles’s shadow to me,” You whispered back as you put your hands against his cheeks to pull his face off your shoulder. You wiped away his tears like he had done with you on so many occasions and left trails of kisses over the tracks that lined his cheeks. You gave him a minute before leaning your forehead against his. “You have been and always will be enough. You deserve so much. I know it seems like everything is crashing down against you, but your time to shine will come. It’ll just take some time and patience.”

“How do you know that? How do you know they aren’t just going to throw me out after they don’t want me anymore?” He asked. He sounded defeated, and it broke your heart to pieces hearing him doubt himself so much. “What if they’re only keeping me around because of my name? I’ll never live up to Charles.”

“Please stop comparing yourself to your brother,” You pleaded with a groan and a pointed look at Arthur.

“Why? He is better than me in almost every way,” Arthur tried to go on a tangent, but you gently squished his cheeks to stop him.

“I’m dating Arthur Leclerc. I have only dated Arthur Leclerc. I only want to date Arthur Leclerc. I love Arthur Leclerc. I have only loved Arthur Leclerc. And I only want to love Arthur Leclerc. Is that clear enough for you?” You planted kisses around his face with every statement you made before landing with the final one on his lips with a slight chuckle. “You are the love of my life, and I have always believed in you. You will always be enough for me because you are all I could ever want.”

“So you won’t leave if I don’t make it to F1?” He questioned as he leaned more of his weight into your hands. 

“Don’t speak that into existence, love,” You sighed. “But wherever you end up, I will always be beside you for it. I don’t define your success like that. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy to be with you.”

“I’m happy to be with you, too,” He whispered back as he finally smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. He moved his hands to the side of your neck and your cheek before he pulled back slightly and whispered against your lips, “What do we do now?”

“We support the team like we came to do, we cheer our friend Ollie on for this opportunity he got, and we show that you are just as committed to the team as you always have,” You said with a shrug. “There isn’t much we can really do besides that. If there is more, I just don’t know it. We’ll just go with the flow.”

“Can we get dinner and dessert?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “I could use a cheat.”

“I think you deserve a little cheat after today,” You chuckled, leaving a light kiss on the tip of his nose. “Anything you want.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[py-dreamer]

...um...hi?

so if anyone's concerned, no I'm not dead.

Thankfully the digital studio is intact this year (thank god I would've had another mental breakdown istg-)

to all my lovely marshiemallows, thank y'all so much for your patience omg!!!!

(and to all my mutuals, @furornocturna and @violetjedisylveon in particular I'm so sorry I haven't been responding or active online at all, I'm so sorry-)

But to sum it up:

I'm on holiday in my home country rn and have been having a blast personally. Meeting relatives, childhood friends, the food, familiar places ect.

and I'll admit I do have a lot of free time outside that but honestly I do feel a wee bit burnt out ngl.

And with my spare time, I've jumped down the demon slayer rabbit hole

(huh who would've guessed)

Basically it's all been a huge break for me.

But I will still post lmk stuff dw. Though don't be surprised if you see a kny thingy pop up somewhere in the dreamscape!!

And for those curious about the fic:

I'm sorry I haven't updated at all, the wips are still in my drafts. I have no formal posting schedule but after returning and getting some work sorted out I'll see what I can do! But no promises!

Regardless, about the pic then.

It is a WIP. It's a sketch for a shadowalkers piece (Wooh! Haven't heard of that au in a while eh?)

I have redesigned mostly Bai He's outfit and added a little pouch for Macaca. The change was mostly so I had more freedom to do different top designs for the new members of the fam!

If anyone has suggestions for outfit designs or accessories or jewelery, hair, anything! let me know pls!

This is just the WIP stage and I really want to achieve that semi-wild, untamed but mysterious and refined gypsy look.

(Also its a guilty pleasure of mine to dress up my characters in aus or just for the fun of it lol)

And fun fact: Wukong's the only one in the fam wearing shoes lol.

Another fun fact: That brick pattern rag he's wearing? Was once a part of tripitaka's cassock from their days on the mountain. (see shadowalkers lore summary for context)

I didn't forget their tails this time! Wheeee!!

Oooh! Ooooh! Also the top half of Wukong's body? I did that myself sans references!!! Woooooooh!!!

Not that there's anything wrong with references of course. Pros and beginners use them and I do recommend them for poses, ideas and such.

Though I am proud I could think of something off like memory and make it work! I think...you can tell me otherwise lol

(BTW this is the after of the main plot where shadowpeach reconciles, they escape the town and Bai He gains a new stepbrother!)

SH!T I REALIZED I FORGOT MEI!!!!

UM I'LL ADD HER IN!! PROMISE!!!!

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Let's do one more episode tonight. The sooner we wrap up this stupid Emperor plot arc, the better.

***

LMAO, there goes maternal uncle Bai.

He should have just sat home and eaten his food and he would still be alive, but no, he just had to be greedy. Serves him right.

***

Eh, you fought for this marriage.

***

Moar plot holes and shitting on established characterisation.

I'm supposed to believe that the Princess (and by extension, the doormat Duke) suddenly became loyal and benevolent to Minglan and Gu Tingye, especially since there is now an actual perceived risk to associating with them? Please.

***

LMAO, I love Lady Zhang 🤣🤣

Molan has certainly lost none of her talent for making enemies and then she moans and whines about how everyone is excluding her. LOL, bitch, have you ever wondered why?

***

Oh, great 🙄

She gets on my very last nerve but I suppose that today is the day when all of Minglan's true friends must show their faces. She can cross everyone who doesn't show up off her list for life.

***

Wiping tears rn, ngl 😭

Danju, my beloved 💙

***

Aww, her cousins from the countryside are here too!

Truly, all the important people!

***

WTF.

This baby has been alive for a whole month and has already suffered TWO assassination attempts 🤬 Madam Qin is not giving up on the marquis title!

***

WHAT THE FUCK?

SHE IS AN ACTUAL ASSASSIN??

I DID NOT SEE THAT FIGHT COMING!!

FENGXIAN, WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO BECOME INTERESTING ALL OF A SUDDEN? AND AFTER TRYING TO KILL A BABY, NO LESS!!

***

Aww, Zhao'er is looking good and coming throuuuuuuugh!!

***

LMAO, suffer.

If you had only let Minglan in on your whole plot, she would not be making an embarrassment out of herself and everyone here now.

***

LOL, he is a whole mood 🤣🤣

***

This is why Minglan and Changbai should have been told.

They have the potential to screw up the entire plan and bring down the Sheng family in the process.

The stupidity of writing here, I cannot even.

***

LMAO, they are almost making me feel sorry for Sheng Hong 🤣🤣

Such unreasonable children!

***

OMG, she's going to tell her!

Please, tell her! Please, someone, have some brains and compassion here!

***

LOL, I have absolutely no love for Gu Tingye at this point, but this is hilarious.

Girl, your marriage is a hellscape and it's your own doing. You're so full of bile and wretchedness, you would not be happy if you married and Emperor.

***

LOL, no matter what their status is, they will STILL look down upon you.

***

How am I supposed to be rooting for Gu Tingye after all this?

She is having a mental breakdown in public because of his dumbassery. He's one of the worst male leads I've ever encountered in a c-drama ever. No love.

***

LMAO, look at the pot calling the kettle black 🤣🤣

With that said, what did she expect, marrying this guy? He probably has every STD known to man by now.

***

LOL, you treated her well?

IN WHICH LIFE??

***

What? WHAT?

She killed Chunke? Like her mother did??

I didn't even realise Chunke had died, wtf.

[hana-no-seiiki]

tw/cw: (16+ only please) yandere and religious themes. bitchy reader. mentions of sex. slut shamer! reader

I’m having my sadist yun era like legitimately am having a mental breakdown on Playboy/Playgirl/Playperson(?) reader rn it’s not healthy oh god.

Except they’re a massive hypocrite and an absolute bitch and a half.

Sleeps with everyone and I mean everyone in the campus but when it comes to people asking them out their excuse is always “I can’t date someone who isn’t pure.” yeah whatever the fuck that means.

Uses religion as an excuse and whatnot. You say that when you seriously date it’s basically marriage so you’d rather not have someone who isn’t completely loyal to you or even has a chance to cheat.

Yan could have literally held hands with someone else before they met reader but nooooo sorry can’t be with ya.

And omfg when they meet their match? An equally slutty yan? hoo boy.

Whore! Yan is absolutely head over heels with you. Every person they fuck is in your name. They always imagine you to be under them. They’re doing this mostly so that they could build experience and connections to get with you but also cause they’re just horny af.

Mission failed successfully because after a few nights with them they ask you out and you just take one look at them before going

“Me? With someone as filthy as you are. No thanks. You’re a great fuck. That’s all.”

And their world just fucking shatters.

[boydepartment]

Hey Jayjay, hope you’re doing well~

I just wanted to make a request for a Jake comfort fic, where he’s comforting reader after they’ve had a break down from holding their emotions in for months and didn’t tell anyone bc they don’t know how to express themselves to people?

Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense I’m not in the best headspace rn. But please don’t feel pressured to do this request if it makes you uncomfortable🫂

ON IT- i started writing this right when i got the request, i love you so much <3 dms always open bb

Condensation- Jake Sim x reader

warnings- mental breakdown, fainting

wc- 600

MASTERLIST

The room was absolutely spinning, and you weren’t drunk or anything. You weren’t high and you weren’t sick. You were overwhelmed. Absolutely everything overstimulated you and you were exhausted. The room seemed to be going a mile a minute and all you wanted was for it to stop. You wanted everything to stop for once. Life was hitting hard, and you didn’t know what to do or who to turn to.

Everything got so much that you didn’t even remember inviting Jake over, when the doorbell rang you stumbled to answer. Once again, not having the mental capacity to even think. You swung open the door and the next thing you knew you blacked out. All the stress and nerves absolutely draining your tired self.

When you woke up you were in your bed, water was on the nightstand, and you took a split second to watch the condensation fall from the glass onto the bedside table. Whoever left it didn’t put a coaster or anything down to protect the wood.

You turned over and felt a weight down on your bed, looking up you saw Jake sitting there on his phone. He looked down at you and popped his headphones out.

“Oh, thank god you’re awake.” He put a hand on your head, “fever? No. cough? Cough?” He was pretty frantic about the state of your physical health. He had no idea it was your mental health that was causing a decline in your physical wellbeing.

“No cough, just exhausted…” You mumbled and rested your head down again.

“Did you go out today or something?” He asked, trying to figure out what was wrong so he could help you. Jake was always very pure at heart, if something was wrong with you, he wanted to be there and help. He would never not go out of his way for you and your wellbeing. That’s why you never told him about how overwhelming your life had gotten recently. You hit a brick wall and how was he supposed to try and fix something that seemed so unfixable?

“Y/n?”

“Huh?” You realized now, you never answered his question, “oh sorry. No, I didn’t go out today.”

“Thinking too much?” Jake suddenly asked. You looked up at him.

“Yeah…” You swallowed hard, feeling that familiar lump in your throat. It hurt badly, trying not to absolutely break down hurt badly.

“You can talk to me, I can’t fix all the mental problems, but I can still help.” Jake said, he held your face softly, “I know it’s really hard though- opening up.”

Finally, the dam broke. You started crying hard. Jake held onto you and let you cry it out. He always knew you had issues with vocally saying how you were feeling. He knew you didn’t want him to worry, even though he was going to worry anyways.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I can’t stop-“You continued to cry and Jake rubbed your back softly and slowly.

“Let it out Y/n… It’s okay. I am right here, I'm not going anywhere.”

You continued to sob until you started to doze off again, all those overwhelming emotions once again took you out. You hadn’t realized how much these past months of bottling your feelings took out of you. You were constantly battling by yourself, and it finally caught up to you.

When you woke up from your post crying nap, Jake made you drink water.

“If you don’t want to talk about it still it’s alright.” Jake said, “I’m still going to be here though. I care about you and I just want you to be alright.”

You looked at him, “I think- I think I want to talk about it.”

[bobamilkk]

TF2 HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

I told myself I’d get these up one of these days👍 I finished this list at 4 am last night so none of this makes any sense and every word is more chaotic than the ones before it and no I’m not sorry y’all sighed up for this bs

Scout

-Can understand a good chunk of French but can’t speak more than a few simple words if that, has no clue how he understands it (Spy spoke a good amount of French around him as a baby or something idk)

-Can be just has hard to find as Spy-once you loose sight of him he’s impossible to find if he’s actually trying to stay hidden-Like father like son

-Can and will steal your food-this includes Heavy and Medic-He has no fear whatsoever and has been sent to respawn god knows how many fucking times because of this-And yet he still does it

-Loves scifi movies and comics and if you watch a movie with him half of it is him pointing out random trivia facts because he’s incapable of shutting the fuck up (this is also what happens when you watch a movie with me irl. My grandparents are sick and tired of it. Yes this is even more self projection what of it?)

-has mastered the younger sibling talent of fucking climbing people if it means getting something that’s held over his head. He also bites

Soldier

-it’s impossible to tell if he’s insulting you or complimenting you 90% of the time

-Has stabbed Scout’s hand to the table to prevent him from stealing food before and no one stopped him

-The team has movie nights once a week and Soldier always puts on the same inaccurate WW2 documentary he made himself when it’s his turn to pick-he used to put on 10 hours of the American National Anthem but someone (read: The rest of the team working together) lost (read: Violently destroyed) the tape after the third time

-I said he was from Missouri once in a rp cuz my rp friend and I are both from different parts of Missouri so that’s my hc now

Pyro

-I always hc him as Irish for some reason idk why

-Can casually pick up every merc except for Heavy-He struggles a bit with Medic because that man is pure muscle but they can indeed pick him up

-May or may not be a cannibal-it’s a little uncertain but either way they’re banned from the kitchen and cooking duty

-I’m a sucker for the hc that he does not like water whatsoever-Getting this man a bath is like trying to bathe a cat except somehow even more deadly

Demo

-This may be the impulsive sleep deprivation but my brain randomly went “What If he can see general ghosts because of his possessed eye socket, not just Eyelander or the scream fortress ghosts” so sometimes people walk in on him casually having a conversation with the air. Considering he’s made out with his own organs in his head, this is one of the less weird things they’ve walked in on him doing

-Surprisingly he’s the best with kids out of all 9 mercs, Heavy is a good runner up though and Spy’s not far behind but will never admit it

Heavy

-Accent gets thicker when he’s talking to people he cares about

-Was the one who suggested the movie nights in the first place

-Actually cleans up in the base unlike literally everyone else

Engie

-People don’t realize how unhinged this man is ok??? Anyways he’s a caffeine addict and has developed the habit of pulling way too many all nighters if it means getting work done (like me. It’s 4 am as I work on this list. Help)

-What’s a southern farm boy without a few dozen concerning stories about pushing cousins out of second story barn windows or near drowning fishing story? My cousins lived on a farm when we were kids and they scared the shit out of me I swear there was a new broken bone every summer

-probably once had a sleep deprived mental breakdown on his workshop floor because the sweet tea one of the mercs made him wasn’t sweet enough idk man I’m sleep deprived rn and could really use a southern style sweet tea

Medic

-Mann vs Machine hc that his hometown would rather deal with the robots than having Medic anywhere near them ever again. They want him GONE

-Sleeps like a fucking corpse-You can’t even tell he’s breathing unless you look closely. He even crosses his arms like a corpse

-Will take you graverobbing for a romantic date-gotta get experiment canvases somehow he’s running out of room on the other mercs without them just dropping dead from it all

Sniper

-The opposite of a morning person, but his internal clock won’t let him sleep in ever. The suns up? He’s up! Someone help him

-Has befriended a wild owl and feeds it at night-The offense trio very violently helped him name it (They fist fought eachother over who’s name was better while Sniper spaced out thinking about random gator facts)

Spy

-An adrenaline junkie but will never ever admit it

-Spy can mimic voices to a near perfect even without his disguise kit-he however rarely uses this and instead simply mocks everyone instead because he finds it funny (“This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!”)

-Wears a corset because I said so-It always matches perfectly with his outfit and underwear too-He feels SO bonita

Bonus since it’s Pride Month

-Scout is gay and so many levels deep in the closet it’s embarrassing-He’s also trans because I said so

-Soldier is trans, bi, and poly :) his list of wives consists of anyone and everyone /j

-Spy is bi and a cis man who wears dresses regularly he’s gnc af and I love that for him he’s my wife now

-Medic is gay and still legally married to his wife they’re mlm wlm solidarity married for tax benefits /j

-Pyro is trans, non-binary, and pan and uses he/they pronouns because I said so

-None of these men are straight ok

-Medic did both Scout and Soldier’s top surgery but both of them instead have overly extravagant extremely gorey stories on how they got their scars

[bee-named-alex]

So episode 6 of IWTV s2. My thoughts? Many. Enjoy them, I'll try to make it as coherent as possible in my current state. Spoilers and my mental breakdown below the cut

Fuck this. I cannot wait for a week after this episode, how am I supposed to be normal after this???

So I guess I'll start from the start? The tension is in every word and I get why Daniel's getting afraid for his life, I mean I am afraid for his life rn and he's not even real.

The Dubai scenes, they contrast really well with the first couple episodes of this season. The cracks in Loumand relationship are very apparent now, they can't even decide on what painting to have in their house. And I read a post that was like "season 1 was music, season 2 is art" and it's so true and this means like their relationship is empty i guess or something. Maybe just that it's falling apart.

And the way they began this season holding hands and sitting so close, acting like everything was perfect, ready to fight Daniel and now they sit as far away as possible, fight like all the time about everything and Louis and Daniel (and even Rashid I think) keep on further unionizing against Armand... I think that's just great.

And Armand knowing that they know and from the start trying to spin it. I'm not sure how the sentence "Why do you ask, love?" from Louis is like the coldest thing ever but it just is.

I'll talk more about Dubai later.

But now to Paris. Claudia's diary "Fuck these vampires" - girl's so right (in both meanings of that word btw). Claudia was never really my fave, but out of everyone I feel like she deserves a happy ending the most (not counting daniel here) and fuck, she's not getting it. i know but it still hurts like hell.

Her and Madeleine's relationship is great. Inbetween all the plotting and manipulation and murder this feels like one of the only peaceful things. In the scene where Claudia reveals herself I though that she's like Madeleine's guardian angel. But also an angel of death. But Madeleine doesn't mind and I think that's very important, that she doesn't really see Claudia as a monster - or maybe she does, but it doesn't change what she feels (after all, she thinks that she's a monster)

Then the turning. First Louis trying to convince Armand and him not obeying- as Daniel says "maitre only when it's hot or convinient" (it was hot in the art room btw and it's so not fair that we didn't get to see at least a little more i mean that whole scene was inexplicably so hot and i need moreeee).

But it also reminded me of another post, the "Armand is a willingly leashed tiger" because like yeah, Louis has the power up until the point when Armand no longer wants him to have it. (also Louis persuasion being "imagine me without the burden of her" sucks, like sorry but this hurts, even if you didn't mean it and yes it matters if you meant it. But his later method - aka kiss to shut him the hell up - seems much better.)

Then I got a little pissed or perhaps confused at his "Are you asking or making me?" because we know that Louis can't actually make Armand do anything, not when he is 100 % sure he doesnt want to. Because if he could, Armand would've turned Madeleine. (speaking of, Armand not having turned anyone is pretty interesting, but i guess that that's how it was in the books and it was important so sure why not)

Also Louis' "It's ok, it's ok" here reminded me of "Of course, of course!" and also "It's fine, he's fine, we're fine" and it's just so funny how they all think that if they say things over and over again they'll convince themselves that they're true.

The turning itself was beautiful, as Louis said it would be. Like it wasn't violent, there wasn't fear, no tears. Just love and devotion and I'm so sad that Claudia's and Madeleine's beautiful dream didn't last longer.

Louis not caring afterwards is just another exampke of his dissociative state and I worry about his mental well-being. (All of their mental and physical well-beings tbh)

In Dubai again, Armand finally talking about the erased memories and how they both hate on him for it and they're right. Like what do you mean Daniel doesn't have the right to be angry, of course he does. It's fun to see Daniel delighted about fighting Armand.

But also... Louis asked him to get rid of those momeries (if he believe him. And I, in this episode more than ever and despite my better knowledge, do believe Armand. Maybe it's just because of Assad's phenomenal acting but I believe his words and I believe his tears. Which actually makes this all worse btw.) and that makes the whole situation suddenly much more complicated.

Other Paris plot - Santiago (fuck Santiago) and his coup -, yeah that kept me on my toes for the entire episode. Like Armand says that he was in love and Louis says that he got lazy but I just think he must've been blind to not see it.

I feel like Dubai kinda reflects this (Louis and Daniel unionizing as we've said and so it's like Armand losing his power over his people again) but also. Paris and it's aftermath was the biggest crisis of their relationship, must've been (followed by San Francisco and Daniel I'm sure). But now as the recount it they are also reliving it and are also in a full-blown crisis and i hope this one doesn't end in a fire.

And the ending of it all. Fuck. I was near tears watching it.

The double-date in the cafe felt like a dream, they even said in the episode insider that they wanted it to feel surreal or something like that, like a romantic comedy. And for a few minutes it does. They let you believe that they could be happy. You know they won't, you know that shit's about to go down and everything will end in ruin but this single scene makes you beg, no please, no don't fuck it up, just stay happy, like this, it can be good. And despite knowing what's coming, you stick your claws into this idea of happiness like a lifeline.

And then it hurts that much more when this perfect bubble pops.

I admire all the actors because idk what Armand was feeling the moment he stepped outside but through Assad's acting I felt it too. And as Louis looks around, seeing the world stop, here I know exactly what he must've felt- the realization hits, the betrayl and then the immense worry for Claudia and Jacob portrays it so beautifully.

"He chose." This breaks my heart. Because what did he choose exactly, or better yet, what did he choose over? I mean this is terrible, the trial, but what was his other choice? He calls himself a coward so maybe it was Louis and Claudia and Madeleine or him that the coven would go after. But maybe this was actually the better choice idk.

But like you see the regret in Armand's face in Paris but especially in Dubai and I trust him. I believe him that he regrets it, I believe him the tears and as I've said that just makes it so much worse. Because he chose this and now they suffer for it and he suffers for it too and blames himself (rightfully so), but it still hurts.

And then Lestat. Fuck. I knew this was gonna come (I just couldn't help myself and because of my recklessness saw a spoiler, that he's gonna be there) but that in no way did that knowledge diminish what I felt when I saw him. Because, hell, idk I'm just so excited to finally have him back because I love him but also I hate him and am so scared as to what he's gonna do. He's gonna testify against Louis and Claudia sure but what if he won't? Does he want to kill or fuck Louis? Will his and Armand's past play part in this or is that a box to remain unopened until later?

"You cannot script a hurricane" they said and so this means Lestat will go off script. But to what extent? At least to which it results in burning the theatre down.

The preview didn't help my state, quite the contrary actually. Louis in Paris is scared that Lestat's gonna come. Santiago's laughing. What does Armand feel? Who knows not me, I'm just scared. And excited. I feel like I won't fall asleep for two days after this but it's fine. I'm fine, everything's fine.

[etherealspacejelly]

hi robin how are you today

hello!

i am. alive.

i did my laundry. finally. it took a lot but i did it

im just. kind of in a hole rn. emotionally. but ill be ok.

i have a doctors appointment tomorrow. my friend is coming with me so thats nice. im gonna talk to him about my chronic pain

and i have an appointment with my disability mentor on friday and shes really nice and i like talking to her so thats good

i havent been able to watch any star trek in days. thats usually a bad sign. and i kinda had a mental breakdown/meltdown yesterday. and a minor anxiety attack earlier today... fuck it we ball 🤪✌️

from the bottom of my heart im tired. im fucking tired. and everything hurts all the time and i feel like shit.

im. struggling.

but. i will keep going. because i always do. i have a support network and im doing everything i can to take care of myself. i think. yeah. sorry for venting

[yeyayeya]

I’ve wanted to make this post for a while but wanted to wait until the dub was officially over so

My Final Thoughts on the TGCF Season 2 English Dub

Howard Wang as Xie Lian is fucking perfect. Every single time he spoke it just, I don’t know how to properly put it into words, except it is so well done?? But when XL started basically having a mental breakdown in front of Hua Cheng after Lang Qianqiu found out about the truth of the Gilded Banquet, holy fuck did the emotions just hit me in the feels. The scream and he emotional fatigue after? Xie Lian’s voice is perfection omg

Shoutout to James Cheek for just voicing the gayest character ever (Hua Cheng) and writing the gayest script for TGCF. While I liked his voice in the first season, but I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. It wasn’t until the second season where almost everything improved, and James’s voice for Hua Cheng? *chef’s kiss*. Okay but at least tone down the gayness a bit. And seeing someone who has read the novel and having little easter eggs for the novel readers for them to go insane over is incredible. I’m going to miss his voice in Season 3 since they’re going to have to cast someone else as Hong’er, but that’s ok.

Male and Female Shi Qingxuan: OMG??? Perfect casting. I just know they both put so much effort into them and I am eternally grateful. They just sound like the best of friends (they are). Every single line from them was so fucking iconic, which is accurate to the Wind Master’s character. I love both their voices so much you don’t understand.

Lang Qianqiu: AAHHHHH. My son, my boy, they gave him justice and I am so happy. First read through of TGCF, I only cared for HuaLian, but reading it again has made me appreciate and fall in love with the side characters, with Lang Qianqiu being one of them. I’ll say it did take a bit for me to adjust to it, but he sounds so much like an anime protagonist that I am ok with it. Another perfect casting. I’m going to be so fucking sad that he won’t appear for such a long time, and while he does get brought up occasionally, his last appearance is going to be the finale. I’ll miss you my son 😔

Jun Wu: ASDFGHJKL. He sounds like such a manipulative/toxic ex and a father figure at the same time. wtf. But his voice is so sexy tho. I don’t like it but I do. And I thought his original Chinese voice was hot, and then the English one goes and surprises me. I hate that I love it

Qi Rong: Perfection, glorious, fucking incredible. HIS VA IS PERFECT. Original was slaying so hard, and English? Fucking killing it. He was actually the one I was looking forward to the most, and he 👏 did 👏 not👏 disappoint. I won’t get over the perfect casting. Ever. The crazy and mad laughs? The insults I’ve never heard about but decided to keep in mind? Literally everything. I’m sorry I can’t get over how great his voice is

Feng Xin and Mu Qing (of course together): I am so biased towards Lucien Dodge, so I immediately loved his voice for him. He slaying that tsundere cat boy vibe so well. I will admit that his voice made me like his character more tbh. Ok but Feng Xin’s? Every time I hear it, I always need at least 30 seconds to get used to it. Idk why. I don’t hate it, and I actually love it, but he sounds so much like a dad it’s so funny. I still love him tho.

Pei Ming: 😳. No but that was actually my reaction to his voice. Why is every single god’s voice so hot. Please calm down. I really did not like Pei Ming at first but damn. I can actually understand why every single woman went weak with him.

Ling Wen: While she didn’t get as much dialogue this season, I’ll still count her. I’ve heard some drama relating to her voice actress from a while back but I’m not bringing it up rn. But her English voice is almost exactly the same as the original, just, different languages of course. She has such a unique voice and it’s quite pleasing to hear. She also sounds a bit like Siri but it fits her character

Other major characters that got only a few lines but still slayed their roles (Ming Yi, Pei Xiu, Jian Lan, Yin Yu): Hello?? Can I be patient to hear their voices again? Probably not, but please I need more of them. Ming Yi sounded hot since he took voice lessons from Hua Cheng, Pei Xiu sounded like such a little wet cat (wtf where did this crush on him come from), Jian Lan slayed because she is such an underrated queen, and Yin Yu? I WAS NOT EXPECTING A DEEP VOICE FROM WTF. I will say I do prefer his Chinese VA a little more due to it being more in character with him sounding soft and somewhat tired. But I enjoy his confident and announcing voice. They should keep him for the QuanYin flashbacks.

All in all, perfect cast. I don’t have twitter/X but I see things from the VA’s from time to time. And seeing them interact with the fandom and trying to give more to their characters makes me so happy. I just desperately need for more of the characters to have voices (aka Shi Wudu, Quan Yizhen, Mei Nianqing, Yushi Huang, Male!Ling Wen, White-No-Face). Give me more please.

Please check out the dub it’s so fucking great.

[candeathbereal]

Just a small roast of some placements

If a person has Leo and Aries placements then that Virgo Venus means meh imo. Idk I’ve met so many with that and they don’t act like people with Virgo Venus that I’m used to. The impulsive and dumb manner of us fire signs are a moment. I can roast these motherfuckers cause I got all three fire signs in my chart. Quite literally a fire dominant with a Virgo moon. That Virgo moon is fucked but she is trying her hardest. I think if I didn’t have my Saturn in my tenth house I probably would have a shitter work ethic than I do now. I have no proof but ehh fuck it.

Also cancer placements don’t pack the punch I thought they would have. Scorpios aren’t mysterious they are just dumbasses who know how to keep their mouth shut. Yeah I said it! Plus Pisces I got nothing for you sorry. I got Pisces in my eighth house so you guys are confusing to me. I can’t roast without proper interaction. Like you guys are delusional but so are us Neptune dominants.

All the fixed signs have an odd stubbornness which is to be expected from them. And yet it surprises me how much it’s there. Mutable signs have the fun parts of going with the flow and all the lovely vibes of not properly dealing with their emotions especially mutable moons. I don’t blame us for wanting to try new shit but dealing with our emotions in a “healthy” manner is not one of the ways I’m going to be trying. I have to deal with my trauma first before I even try to grasp the idea of crying in front of people unless I intensely trust them. Don’t even get me started on the idea of comfort while going through a mental breakdown. I try to take care of my shit before I get to that point because it’s either that or having a mental break and being extremely exhausted but still having shit to do. Like bruh how can I get better if I have to depend on others emotionally? The Virgo moon is busting out of me rn. Like I know it sounds dumb asf but I feel like ranting and roasting at the same time. This is how dumb we sound but it’s just the brain functioning like it has to.

To sum it all up emotionally we can deal with it later cause other people need a good/easy time. Sag moons do it by staying positive and fun and I love them for it. They just gotta learn that crying your eyes out can be fun. Just make it a game you fools! Geminis have a similar vibe but idk how to describe them. I think they are more likely to have a decent upbringing compared to sag moons. Idk most sag moons I’ve met have some of the worst upbringings oddly similar to cap moons. The key difference is how they cope with those emotions. Cap moons can be workaholics whereas sag moons probably can but not really ya know?

-I am wondering how people can say moon square moon in synastry shows short term. I can grasp it to a certain degree but general this aspect can stay together. It just seems that the common theme is that they have something shared like a child or a pet. Maybe even a business but ehh. For instance my own parents have squared moons and stayed together for years before their divorce. They argued a lot sure but in the end, shit moved on. Traumatizing a little bit but overall could have been worse for sure imo. Oh and they were together for 20ish years but married for 18 of them I think.

That’s it for now

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

I'm sorry but funny ideas come to me late at night so I have to send this ask rn or I'll forget about it. so imagined what if the skeleton's adopted child is basically those terrifying children from horror movies

Undertale Sans - It's 3 am and he tries to pretend so hard he's not seeing his child staring at him and S/O sleeping on the doorsteps. That's two hours they're doing this now and Sans thinks he will never be able to sleep again. He is freaking out and desperately try to shake his S/O awake because he swears to Asgore he is terrified.

Undertale Papyrus - "OH, HELLO CHILD. EVEN IF I APPRECIATE YOU NOT WALKING ON THE WET FLOOR, COULD YOU PLEASE NOT WALK ON THE CEILING EITHER?" The child doesn't answer and pass next to him, growling like an animal. Papyrus sighs. Ah, children. Aren't they cute? Undyne and Alphys are frozen in shock in the couch. What the hell.

Underswap Sans - He breaks into the room, pissed of. "TIMMY! STOP MAKING YOUR UNCLE DOG SPIN ON THE CEILING THIS MOMENT!" The child pouts and lets the dog goes back on the floor. The dog runs away in terror to join Honey. Blue starts lecturing his child about doing horrible things in the middle of the day. Please wait the middle of the night when no one can see you!

Underswap Papyrus - He looks up from his book. "what are you holding?" "A chainsaw, I'm going to use it on the neighbour." "oh, ok, have fun." The child leaves the room. Honey freezes for a moment, then jumps out of the couch. "oh shit, no, wait!" He runs after the kid.

Underfell Sans - He was looking himself in a mirror when you jumpscared him out of nowhere by making his reflection attacks him. Red screams bloody murder and crawls out of the bathroom, soul beating so fast it mights explode. That freaking kid. What the hell were you thinking when S/O wanted to adopt them specifically?!

Underfell Papyrus - He's in the middle of the shop. The kid is doing a litteral banshee scream because he said no to buy the last toy he saw on TV. The humans around are all on the floor, ears bleeding while Edge is simply lecturing the child, unaffected. It's not because you scream loud that you will have what you want! He can scream loud as well!

Horrortale Sans - Poor Oak is on the couch, head fills with wiggling worms. Willow is lecturing the child to death. "I KNOW THIS IS TEMPTING BUT YOU CAN'T FILL YOUR DAD HEAD HOLE WITH WORMS BECAUSE YOU WANTED HIM TO STOP HUGGING YOU. LOOK AT THAT MESS! MAKE THEM DISAPPEAR WITH YOUR DEMONIC POWERS THIS MOMENT YOUNG MAN! AND APOLOGIZE!" The kid sighs and obeys.

Horrortale Papyrus - Things are flying everywhere in the house. Willow sighs loudly and turns towards his kid. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT INVITING EVIL SPIRITS TO PARTY IN THE HOUSE? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ASK ME FIRST. YOU WILL CLEAN THE MESS." The child makes Willow's mouth disappear because they're angry. Willow frowns and lectures the kid with sign language instead.

Swapfell Sans - This is the worst possible timeline. Nox is hiding in his bunker, trembling in terror after his kid found out that sneaking on him and breathing in his neck makes him jump in terror everytime. Nox is having a mental breakdown. He hates this kid. He keeps asking S/O when the orphanage is taking them back. As he's finally calming down, he feels a cold breath on his neck. He screams and turns away, finding his kid upper half has crossed the wall somehow. He bangs on the scelled door to beg S/O for help.

Swapfell Papyrus - You're having dinner, trying to ignore all the animals with redeyes staring at you from every windows of the house, waiting for one of them to get out of the house to kill them. This is fine. Rus doesn't even need to get out ever again anyway. It's no use to say anything to the child, he could just open a window as a revenge.

Fellswap Gold Sans - "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?" "My friend." "...YOUR FRIEND? WHERE IS HE?" "Right next to you." "... SURE. WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?" His kid gives him a drawing of a very scary clown holding a huge scythe. Oh nice. What the hell. Wine smiles, a bit tense, then says to his kid to not go to sleep to late. He is also locking the door of his room tonight.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He was going to the kitchen like every morning to make breakfast but can only find humans organs in the cupboard. Coffee tries to not panick, at least there is coffee. He high pitched screams when he serves himself a cup of coffee and finds a human eye floating in the drink. He begs his kid to stop doing this.

[twocrabcake]

alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.