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dark-elf-writes · 1 year ago

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So I pulled out the computer for this one. I finished my reread of WSTS and I'm going to scream here for a few minutes sooooo *clears throat* LET"S GOOOOO

Please keep in mind I am very much a stream of consciousness writer when I have an ask box instead of a comment box lol.

-(Harry didn’t sigh. He didn’t. He just breathed very deeply from the very depths of his soul.)

This is such a goddamn mood. Such a goddamn mood.

-(“Dad?”

Harry turned before the word had fully registered, opening his arms in time to get a lap full of sleepy seven year old with tangled blue curls and blurry green eyes that always made Harry’s heart ache to look at on the bad days.

“Have a nice nap, cub?” The international portkey had been hell on both of them, but poor Teddy had only made it as far as the front steps of the Japanese ministry before their head was dipping and they were leaning against Harry’s side. They had been out cold with their face tucked into Harry’s shoulder before he had figured out the train system.

“Is that Aunt Mione?”

Rude. Harry carried them for miles around Japan while they slept and all he got in return was being used as a piece of furniture as they talked to a mirror.

Parenting was rough. )

I melted and cackled at the same time. Teddy is absolute perfection. They receive all protection! fjeiaonlvfuaid The image of them crawling into Harry's lap for cuddles only to ignore him for the more interesting person. AHAHAHA perfect example of a seven-year old.

-(Harry was pretty sure the sound that Teddy let out could only be heard by canines. )

jdevrauigjklsdnd HOW DO KIDS MAKE SOUNDS LIKE THAT?!?! Like I've actually heard kids make sounds like that and I never understood that!

-(“You know I’m a hero too, right?” Harry muttered ----

He got a finger, painted with pink and blue polish courtesy of Ginny, poking his cheek for his efforts. “But, dad, they’re a cool hero.”

Ouch. See if he saved an entire society again. )

Parenting at its finest, cry laughing at this. No one is less cool than your dad. Not at all. I was this kid. My dad is a literal helicopter pilot and I was still like this.

-(Tom Riddle’s eyes had been dull and lifeless. Like congealed blood left to rot. Present Mic’s eyes were as far from that as possible.

They were red like a fire crackling away in a hearth. Red like the plush armchair he had tucked himself into countless times in the Gryffindor common room. Red like the family that had welcomed Harry with open arms and called him by their last name.)

So I'm obsessed with the entire first meeting between Ouroboros and Present Mic but this line right here. This absolute fucking poetry. HOW DO YOU DO THIS YOU MAGICAL WORDSMITH?!?!?! I could read this bit over and over and just ashdjiovnaorhgnjkr HOW?

-(“You called me in to make your final decision on if I’m fit to teach at your school, yeah? Have you reached your verdict yet?”

“You misunderstand me, Potter-kun. I am the one trying to sell our school to you.”

Harry blinked. Then blinked again.

What? )

Harry, love, you in fact are wanted. And about to find the loves of your life but moving on. WANTED!! Love how this is written, like the utter confusion comes across so clear!

-Vlad saying something rude and Harry immediately snapping back was amazing but Teddy chiming in in the most perfectly, childike oblivious way was just *chef's kiss* incredible. The sass!

-MINI BABY SHOUTA MINI BABY SHOUTA MINI BABY SHOUTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Yagi opening his mouth and saying the wrong and yet the right? thing. *beats head on table* My dude, not your business to tell!!! But right on the nose for the character. The whole scene though is brilliant!!!!! Like the sweet moment with Teddy then Yagi opening his big mouth only for Harry to share the horror of 'oh yeah, child soldiers. It's a thing. I would know. Exhibit A here.*Gestures at self*"

-Potter luck strikes again! But I have to wonder Shouta's thoughts around Harry's outfit during the first round of Potter luck. Short shorts and oversized sweater. Then of course, death happens ahahahaa.

-(but he figured that getting stalked together allowed some level of intimacy. )

How's that for a first date?! Oh hello, I'm going to drop in on you and btw you look adorable tonight? Shall I escort you for snacks and be stalked as well?

-(“I love you?” He tried, flinching back behind his hands as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I love you too, bastard. I love you alive more, you fuck.” )

Yes Harry, you are in fact very loved and need to be very alive to feel that love. I absolutely adore the sibling energy here. Also Hermione calling him a fuck is comedy gold!

-(“He wouldn’t.” The words sounded weak to Harry’s own ears. )

This is so heartbreaking. Like he's already dealt with so much and to have to face the thought that someone he trusted that much could twist the knife already in his back. OOOOFFF

-(Whatever he was respecting the former number one to respond with it sure as fuck wasn’t laughter . “I believe you’ll find, Young Potter, that we heroes are a stubborn lot. UA heroes most of all.” )

foreshadowing future lovers??? I'm here for it!

-(some of his most cherished memories were the stolen moments in the twilight hours before the rest of the Burrow began to stir, moving in silent concert with Molly as she showed him new techniques and recipes that were too foreign or magical for the Dursleys to even consider allowing them into their home. )

So like, I absolutely love how this is phrased. It's so easy to pull together that mental image in stark detail from this. I'm going to keep saying it. You have a ways with words that is fucking magical.

-(Looking over his hoard, Harry had to admit that he, perhaps, had taken his avoidance a bit too far this time. )

As a stress baker myself, there is no such thing. Nope nope, I refuse to be called out. noooooo

-(All of them were hurting. Because of him. Always because of him. )

there's the martyr complex *sigh* My desire to reach through the screen and shake characters is strong here. Like sometimes people hurt for you too my dude.

-(Merlin, please just kill him. The hour or so of oblivion would be better than this . )

Too soon man! But oh my god I definitely laughed inappropriately loud at this.

-(He turned around, cursing as his shoulder caught his own door with a loud enough bang that he saw Teddy’s head pop around the corner to check out the noise. It wasn't enough to muffle the fond laugh from behind him. )

If this isn't the most relatable kind of clumsy. I have absolutely tripped over my own two feet in front of very attractive people and omg do you ever want to reset your existence.

- Okay the absolutely cute factor of Eri and Teddy in the same room is deadly. DEADLY. One can only take in so much sweet before the body just gives up!

-So the whole interaction with MagicEraserMic is amazing but some moments really shine. Shouta taking Harry's hand and not shying away from the scar, acknowledging that Harry's life as a whole has been ... challenging... Hizashi swooping in and helping Teddy while Harry gets to watch and absorb the moment. And the realization that Shouta and Hizashi offered him understanding, made him feel less alone is just aaahhh perfection. and to end it with that moment of levity with the battle over who gets to marry Harry for baked treats. All is just *chef's kiss* perfect.

-(“It’s alright I suppose.”

Black eyes narrowed at him. “Don’t make me get the spray bottle.”

Harry couldn’t help but snort at the idea of Shouta threatening him like a misbehaving cat when the man had nearly a foot on him and was nearly twice his size in pure muscle mass alone, but the very serious looks on both of the other heroes' faces had Harry holding up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’ll take your word for it.”)

AHAHAHAHAH all I can picture is 'bad harry!' spray spray and a very pouty master of death glaring at the two hysterically laughing, before busting up laughing himself.

-The trio always figures it out, even insulting each other along the way. LOVE THE SIBLING VIBES. Like seriously love them here!

So this is just chapter one through six and I feel like I need to stop and start a new ask soooo here you go! keep an eye out for the next one lmfao. I regret nothing here! ahaha

I am screaming I am crying I adore you I

I always love hearing what people like about my fics and it’s nice to know some of my favorite moments are yours as well.

#the elf talks #mha #bnha #harry potter #who saves the savior #wsts #eagerly awaiting the next part #by which I mean it’s like midnight and I need to sleep but am still excited

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djsouled · 3 months ago

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💌 m maybe

love letters, still accepting! - @keshimasu <3 <3

altair. oooooooogh altair. also whiteknuckling you by your shoulders and smiling sooooo sweetly sooo sweetly.

you are someone who crept into my life quietly and yet so smoothly, you grew on me instantly and i can't believe how lucky i am to have just stumbled into you. i haven't been this motivated and convinced to stay so active on tumblr like i have been since i was 17, and that's genuinely amazing to me. you give this additive to being here and the experience of being in the rpg again that i missed just so, so much. you bring back a piece of home to me every time we write together and i'm not just gonna let that go, like ever lmfao!

the effort that you put into your muses, also. the stuff that you've thought of for shouta alone, it gets me so good. absolute genius moves, buddy. congratulations and thank you i'm obsessed with him!

shouta means so much to me, to hizashi, and i'm so pumped and excited to write more villain shit with you in the future! you've gotten me out of my comfort zone and it's been so fucking fun dude. a rollercoaster, one thing after the next and i find myself constantly rereading our shit i just. it gets me so good. you capture him in a way that's so unique, different yet special to you and it's just. it's all you. and i love you a lot man! i sincerely hope we're writing together for a long time yet still, i enjoy it so fucking much. everything feels so real, so true to his psyche and so real like i really understand all of his lines of thinking. i feel his pain. i feel his happiness and his love and i'm soo fucking normal altair!!

and honestly you've really become such a good friend to me. i hold a lot of walls up and the whole nine yards from being through. just a lot. but you're just so easy to talk to, i feel seen in ways i don't usually feel with ig, just anyone? yeah. like i'm not afraid to fumble around a lil. holds ur hand.

thanks for sticking around like you have, thanks for being such a caring and sincere friend. thanks for giving me so much to look forward to for all these days. i really hope i get to keep you in my life for a long time!

#keshimasu #blowing you sooo many kisses

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crowtrobotx · 1 year ago

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OMG YOU REMINDED ME i’ve been meaning to cry into your asks about how good chrysalis is. it’s been bouncing around my brain for weeks now. like you perfectly capture the side of karl that i’m most infatuated with— which is just how he cares for people even if he’s stubborn and ruthless and yk. just karl heisenberg. ITS SO SWEET. but you also never lose the grit of his character.

AND THEN KRIS AND LOTTIE TEAR ME APART they’re sooooo fucking well written they’re so fleshed out they’re so. real. you balance your beautiful descriptions with clever and heartfelt dialogue so perfectly. like i can’t wait for every next word i read i get so excited about it.

i got too caught up in how obsessed i am with your writing i forgot i had like. an actual question— what was your inspiration for writing the fic? bc your overall theme of how science can create both terrible and beautiful things is really interesting and i love it. and i really enjoy how your characters embody this.

me personally, my inspiration for my fic came from seeing how different ethan and heis were and how their deal would’ve never worked out. bc karl simply doesn’t understand what it’s like to love someone— he’s never had someone to care about (as far as we see in the game). so ethan’s bleeding heart goes completely over his head. so i was wondering what would happen if heis DID understand ethan. what if he DID have someone to care about.

and i was wondering if you thought the same? (don’t spoil anything if you don’t want to) but will that motivate his actions in a different way when it comes to the events of the game?

anyway ily and your stuff mwah ❤️

🥺

PLEASE oh my goodness thank you so much for the kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me! I am trying to be better about being dismissive of any compliments because I still genuinely feel baffled that people who are not me are enjoying this so much but I am so so so so glad for it all the same.

I’m honestly very happy to hear you say that you think I don’t “lose the grit” of his character because that’s something I’ve honestly struggled with trying to balance! I mean, that’s kinda crazy to say, because this is a dude who was on screen for like ten minutes lol but I feel pretty strongly with the way he swings wildly between homicidal rage and moments of stark vulnerability, there’s something resembling a person capable of love and care under there. We never got a backstory for him and I think most of us are on the “he was taken as a child, not an adult” train, so I’m always trying to depict a battle between a kid who was robbed of any opportunity for a “normal” life, the adult who came from that and has been warped into both a weapon against his will and a person hellbent on survival at all costs, and a guy who, under kinder circumstances, might have been a decent if quite a bit eccentric dude. And that’s really hard! I often worry I’ve gone and made him too soft and that I need to focus more on him behaving like a violent toddler but I always soothe myself by remembering that Capcom didn’t exactly flesh him out which is both deeply frustrating but also leaves room for almost endless possibilities.

And hngggg loving on my original characters is like, so incredibly validating for me thank you <3 I have spent a long time thinking about those two before I even wrote a single word and I’m touched that you and others can tell and seem to enjoy it. I think I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve spent the last decade plus exclusively writing poetry, not prose, so I think sometimes that comes out with my descriptions and general style. It’s kind of a harder transition than I imagined but I’d like to think I’m getting better chapter by chapter lol.

Anyway, that’s enough about me. I love your stated inspiration for Heisenberg Principle – it totally comes through in your work and I absolutely agree. It’s actually quite similar to Chrysalis, at least in part. I, too, don’t think Ethan would have ever accepted the proposal. I say this with zero hate in my heart for the folks who were gunning for a team up DLC but I actually would have been furious if they’d done that and it hadn’t ended with Karl betraying him and a black screen with “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING” on it popping up lmao. Yes, Heisenberg is meant to play at your heartstrings because it’s clear he doesn’t want to be there and anyone can sympathize with that – but I thought it was pretty clear that the player was meant to notice the hypocrisy in his massive rant about how he’s not like his siblings or his “Mother” while he proceeds to commit unspeakable horrors. (I’ve seen some folks argue that it’s ‘not that bad’ because they’re corpses or whatever but like…. Come on, man.) I tend to view his interactions with Ethan as hugely manipulative. Karl’s a living weapon. He sees Ethan as another living weapon, one he can use to dispatch with his siblings, and Rose as THE living weapon to kill Miranda. Miranda has used Heisenberg as a tool his whole (?) life so why should he think any other human relationships are different.

Which I guess leads to Chrysalis. I was also hugely interested in exploring what that confrontation would have looked like if they both had someone to protect/love and more specifically if they were both fathers. My longtime Heisenmoots can tell you I’ve been singularly obsessed with this idea since like…. Day one lol. I am hoping that it will flesh out some of his canon interactions or at least make them more interesting while also perhaps maybe change the way he ultimately interacts with Mr. Ethan “Loses a Hand Biweekly” Winters. There’s a bit of personal inspiration in there, of course. Lottie is, for example, the daughter I would want if I had one: kinda feral, smart, authentic, a little weird. Kris is in part an exploration of my own chronic illness/disability struggles – many Heisenberg fics involve the reader/OC becoming a lord (which is COOL and AWESOME and I love all these characters, to be very clear) but I wanted to look at a story where that person doesn’t mesh well with the Cadou, where through no fault of their own they succumb to it like so many other nameless folks before. Not saying I was trying to be ~edgy~ but I also thought it would be fun to subvert the traditional “Karl and OC make a vessel” story which, again, I do not blame anyone for writing because it’s right there. And, yes, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say I just love this queer old man and I wanted him to have something, anything good in his life.

I feel like I’ve been rambling like a lunatic lol I could say so much more but I’m afraid I sound totally unhinged. Before I shut my trap, I’ll say that like many I felt there was a lot to be desired with how little backstory and motivation we were presented in this otherwise compelling game. There is something they’re trying to say about parenthood and something they’re trying to say about fairy tales and it all just… leads nowhere. No, RE has never been about satisfactory/deep character development but sheesh there really is the skeleton of something crazy good here. The whole of Chrysalis is leading up to that confrontation (I believe @vodkafolie called it a Dad Battle which I love lol) and I don’t want to spoil too much but it’s going to be both about that whole idea of ‘what if he actually did pick up what Ethan was trying to throw down’ but also the whole idea of love as madness and is there a point where in trying to preserve that love you can cause too much destruction and squeeze to hard and crush it like a bug in your palm.

Again thank you thank you thank you for your kindness, mwah right back ily2 <3

#asks #chrysalis (fan fic)#mourningstarmace #thank you thank you thank you again

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daphnebowen · 1 year ago

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more season four episode one things

okay guys because I’m obsessed I’m rewatching season four this time actually recording things because last time I just did what I could remember. That was also from a while ago (when i originally wrote it) some stuff might be the same but do I care? No. I was gonna jump right to episode three but then I thought “am I really gonna miss ‘maybe this time’ and ‘puppy love’ for this? No.” So yeah. Here we go! FYI, most of these just might be quotes because I’m basically brain dead right now.

THE RINA CUEEEEEE and ginas proud little smile

I absolutely love Ryan’s sparkly suit

Monique, Corbin, kaycee, and Lucas sound soooo good!!! Lucas especially he is really belting

“they have been silent in the group chat” 💀 gets me every time

ms Darbus sounds the exact. same.

EW. EW. MACK IS - UGH 😑

Richard is screaming. I mean, I get it, I would too if my girlfriend was kissing someone else, but chill dude

“no boys?” Girl. Gina’s super smart. She can handle a boyfriend and worry about her future. I hate her so much.

mike 💀 RICKY PAY ATTENTION - I hope those clothes were clean~

AWWW HE HAS GINA IN A PHOTO ON HIS DESK <3

”be safe” is crazy 💀

”don’t… try not to mess that up.”

”that would have been thoughtful” he’s not slacking in the boyfriend department at all

”just kept us for us” is sooooo freakingggg sweeeeeetttt “as long as we’re an us” AHHH FIND ME A MAN LIKE RICHARD BOWEN

gina: shushing Ricky. Ricky: proceeds to make more noise on his way out of the window 🤦🏼‍♀️ what is wrong with him

kourtney and Carlos are slaying

”we need to sign him up and get him educated” girl same

Ashlyn is so lost lmao

miss Jenn gets their attention so flawlessly my teachers could never

I wanna see Richard bowen’s senior prank… 😃

theyre so disappointed about doing hsm again lmao “high school musicale?!”

the east high leopards mascot is actually so disturbing

”mentally I’m not here” lmao sameeee!

”the whole gang” mins Troy Gabriella and Sharpay as per the first five minutes of the show right?

coach literally spit while saying “America’s favorite couple”

woke. I can’t.

bart Johnson is so hyped

”if it’s Mack somebody stop me before I flirt with him” “Carlos!” “Yeah, Carlos!” Ricky is so jealous omg

”Mr bluh?”

miss Jenn looks like she’s about to pass out when Monique and Lucas walk in 😭

JESSICA IS CRAZY

poor Ricky I just want him to be happy

“if Alcatraz and 7-11 had a baby” Quinn 💀

they’re dead. The farm is heaven. Why did he say that so bluntly???? The way Gina’s face fell was so sad too

”I bet he sheds a lot” PLEASE

can I just say I think Ricky is way better looking and just way better than Mack??? Like this boy has nothing to worry about.

Kourtney turned British there for a moment lmao

gina cannot improvise holy crap

“opposites do attract” THE LOVE IN HIS EYES I CANT

HOMECOMING I CANT THEY ACTUALLY LOOK THE SAME

the fact that they made Ricky’s hair darker for the Valentine’s Day part is actually crazy

“wow” part 1

Raisenets are nasty

i wanna see kourtneys instagram like I bet it’s so cute

why the freak does Dani want to know about Ricky like hop off he’s in a very serious relationship

”WISH WE WERE CUDDLING” omg WHAT (tho tbh… that would be sooo cute. I want a spin-off of just rina. No one else. Just rina one shots irl)

#hsmtmts #ricky bowen #gina porter #high school musical the musical the series #rina #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene

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alegocarmadein · 4 months ago

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Long read ahead I do warn.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Somber. Morose. Melancholy. Those three are my holy grail of insane meanings.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Yeah my own work, the Shaman was too late. So, I wrote it in 2021. Very beginning of 2021. I had just been put on bupropian, after years of trying anti-depressants, it finally worked. Slowly. But I still had psychosis, so I'm getting less depressed but I'm still psychotic. And literally the last day of 2020 into the early hours of Jan 1st 2021, I listened to (and binged) Kane and Feels. Obsessed. FUCKING OBSESSED. IMMEDIATELY. But I was off of social media in its entirety, so I had one (1) person to scream at and she was busy in school and shit. So I turn my mind to fanfiction. Psychosis is a BITCH. It robbed me of my memory during and after, it made me paranoid, and a horrible insomniac. So I sit in my room and formulate this plot in the early hours of morning, just muttering to myself. This weird story that would not ever truly make sense but vaguely had a plot and a destination. And I wrote it! And because my memory was so terribly dogshit, every night and every morning, in between edits and writing fits, I would read it. Uh. Out loud. It took hours to read, partially because of how long it was, partially because my reading skills were close to non existent. For a while I considered making a podfic of it to go along with it, but I didn't have recording equipment or money! I was really isolated and spent well over a hundred, maybe two hundred hours on a 13k fic. My writing skills at the time were…diminished, and far from polished, so it took a lot of edits to make it readable. But it was my baby. It was the first fic I'd truly fallen in love with of my own. And eventually I posted it and didn't hate it like all of my others. I would reread it every month, sometimes every week after, checking for errors (of which there were many). Again, my baby. And still, I consider it one of my best fics, this fic I wrote in between 16 hour sleeps, interrupted often by hallucinations and paranoia attacks. And its just terribly special to me, because I know it so very well. I spent two months writing it, and I love that fic, truly.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Okay its not really a subject matter, but fluff? So hard. Don't get me wrong, I can come up with it and put it on paper….but keeping it around is sooooo very hard. I am very much a kill-the-part-of-you-that-cringes, but with kaf especially….eeek. Like the first bit of physical affection I think we've ever been aware of them doing is in the end of WHY, right? So writing close affection is like….babe no, this is Kane we're talking about. but….I think I've had enough independent events/developments (character wise) through my string of fics that I can stretch the lines a bit and put in a little affection here and there. Not super shippy either, just…"holy fuck I'm so glad you're alive that really sucked man." oh and verbal affection is a BITCH. Dude NO. I can't. it never sounds reasonable. I can't do fluffy I CAN'T DO FLUFFY. I'M A MAN OF ANGST DEAR READER. ANGST. Anyway, I wrote a fic about them waltzing. You should read it. And I'm also really proud of the next of kin scene in Next of Kin.

And memory related magic trauma whatzits are my favorite thing to write. I have it so many fics of mine. Psychosis <3 you are so fun to write about, my beloathed.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

This is from The Shaman was too late, near the very end.

"Lucifer Kane is standing on a cliff, overseeing a hazy ocean with a soft lavender-grey sky. Distant golden-grey light shines through the clouds, and the smell of salt and a gust of a warm, ocean breeze puts him at ease."

First off, full name, this is serious talk. Usually I call him Kane, Lucifer when I'm trying to make a point, full name is for introductions and endings. The present tense is something I very rarely do, I generally get tripped up with present tense. The only other time recently I've used it is in Next of Kin at the very end of chapter 4-7, where Kane notices Brutus and is back in the present moment. Weird choice. And I don't really know why I had such a clear image of the hazy ocean with the golden light, streaming down, crepuscular rays (god's rays) streaming from the cloud, but still hazy. The lavender grey was such a spur of the moment thing while I was writing it, it's the color theme for the fic, the other worlds are lavender grey all over. I knew I wanted an emotional yet…like…quiet moment for them being reunited? Keep in mind at that point only season one and WHO, the first ep of season two had been put out, so no hand squeezes, no ocean, not yet, no reuniting, and I didn't know if kaf would ever be coming back. Sigh. Rough times. Well the scene at least hit dyn hard enough for them to make some really baller art of that scene, so I'm happy.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

so…..so much. Most of the time at least. Big fics are almost guaranteed to have a separate notes document with a general outline, to keep my ideas on track. You usually find them in the final end note on the fic, though occasionally they're too messy to really share. This is actually what has tripped me up so bad with the sequel to Next of Kin that I've been working on FOR A FUCKING YEAR NOW, JESUS, is that I wrote an outline for an ending, went a completely different direction, wrote a new outline, then changed it again and now I'm super duper stuck and have no clue how to get to the end. :\

It's a document with bullet points or checkboxes with short plot points and weird details/characters/places I want to add. I ignore them at my will. I actually do enjoy it…for any other fic than the elphame fic. jesus.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

a fucken weirdo. Not like. WEIRD weirdo, just a weirdo. like, that artist who did the beautiful, colorful cat potraits that look very interesting? the one who had schizophrenia so now everyone attributes the weirder ones to his mental illness instead of to his creative ability? louis wain? I feel like they'd attribute all the weirder stuff I write to mental illness, when instead that was hand crafted and delivered by my loving, not-really-stable-i-kinda-have-a-tremor-but-lets-pretend hands.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/12/Louis_wain_cats.png)

(my ao3) https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlegoCarmadein/profile

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

(Not my poem (rest of the post is a poem))

Ode to Silence by Edna St. Vincent Millay

---

Aye, but she?

Your other sister and my other soul

Grave Silence, lovelier

Than the three loveliest maidens, what of her?

Clio, not you,

Not you, Calliope,

Nor all your wanton line,

Not Beauty's perfect self shall comfort me

For Silence once departed,

For her the cool-tongued, her the tranquil-hearted,

Whom evermore I follow wistfully,

Wandering Heaven and Earth and Hell and the four seasons through;

Thalia, not you,

Not you, Melpomene,

Not your incomparable feet, O thin Terpsichore, I seek in this great hall,

But one more pale, more pensive, most beloved of you all.

I seek her from afar,

I come from temples where her altars are,

From groves that bear her name,

Noisy with stricken victims now and sacrificial flame,

And cymbals struck on high and strident faces

Obstreperous in her praise

They neither love nor know,

A goddess of gone days,

Departed long ago,

Abandoning the invaded shrines and fanes

Of her old sanctuary,

A deity obscure and legendary,

Of whom there now remains,

For sages to decipher and priests to garble,

Only and for a little while her letters wedged in marble,

Which even now, behold, the friendly mumbling rain erases,

And the inarticulate snow,

Leaving at last of her least signs and traces

None whatsoever, nor whither she is vanished from these places.

"She will love well," I said,

"If love be of that heart inhabiter,

The flowers of the dead;

The red anemone that with no sound

Moves in the wind, and from another wound

That sprang, the heavily-sweet blue hyacinth,

That blossoms underground,

And sallow poppies, will be dear to her.

And will not Silence know

In the black shade of what obsidian steep

Stiffens the white narcissus numb with sleep?

(Seed which Demeter's daughter bore from home,

Uptorn by desperate fingers long ago,

Reluctant even as she,

Undone Persephone,

And even as she set out again to grow

In twilight, in perdition's lean and inauspicious loam).

She will love well," I said,

"The flowers of the dead;

Where dark Persephone the winter round,

Uncomforted for home, uncomforted,

Lacking a sunny southern slope in northern Sicily,

With sullen pupils focussed on a dream,

Stares on the stagnant stream

That moats the unequivocable battlements of Hell,

There, there will she be found,

She that is Beauty veiled from men and Music in a swound."

"I long for Silence as they long for breath

Whose helpless nostrils drink the bitter sea;

What thing can be

So stout, what so redoubtable, in Death

What fury, what considerable rage, if only she,

Upon whose icy breast,

Unquestioned, uncaressed,

One time I lay,

And whom always I lack,

Even to this day,

Being by no means from that frigid bosom weaned away,

If only she therewith be given me back?"

I sought her down that dolorous labyrinth,

Wherein no shaft of sunlight ever fell,

And in among the bloodless everywhere

I sought her, but the air,

Breathed many times and spent,

Was fretful with a whispering discontent,

And questioning me, importuning me to tell

Some slightest tidings of the light of day they know no more,

Plucking my sleeve, the eager shades were with me where I went.

I paused at every grievous door,

And harked a moment, holding up my hand,—and for a space

A hush was on them, while they watched my face;

And then they fell a-whispering as before;

So that I smiled at them and left them, seeing she was not there.

I sought her, too,

Among the upper gods, although I knew

She was not like to be where feasting is,

Nor near to Heaven's lord,

Being a thing abhorred

And shunned of him, although a child of his,

(Not yours, not yours; to you she owes not breath,

Mother of Song, being sown of Zeus upon a dream of Death).

Fearing to pass unvisited some place

And later learn, too late, how all the while,

With her still face,

She had been standing there and seen me pass, without a smile,

I sought her even to the sagging board whereat

The stout immortals sat;

But such a laughter shook the mighty hall

No one could hear me say:

Had she been seen upon the Hill that day?

And no one knew at all

How long I stood, or when at last I sighed and went away.

There is a garden lying in a lull

Between the mountains and the mountainous sea,

I know not where, but which a dream diurnal

Paints on my lids a moment till the hull

Be lifted from the kernel

And Slumber fed to me.

Your foot-print is not there, Mnemosene,

Though it would seem a ruined place and after

Your lichenous heart, being full

Of broken columns, caryatides

Thrown to the earth and fallen forward on their jointless knees,

And urns funereal altered into dust

Minuter than the ashes of the dead,

And Psyche's lamp out of the earth up-thrust,

Dripping itself in marble wax on what was once the bed

Of Love, and his young body asleep, but now is dust instead.

There twists the bitter-sweet, the white wisteria Fastens its fingers in the strangling wall,

And the wide crannies quicken with bright weeds;

There dumbly like a worm all day the still white orchid feeds;

But never an echo of your daughters' laughter

Is there, nor any sign of you at all

Swells fungous from the rotten bough, grey mother of Pieria!

Only her shadow once upon a stone

I saw,—and, lo, the shadow and the garden, too, were gone.

I tell you you have done her body an ill,

You chatterers, you noisy crew!

She is not anywhere!

I sought her in deep Hell;

And through the world as well;

I thought of Heaven and I sought her there;

Above nor under ground

Is Silence to be found,

That was the very warp and woof of you,

Lovely before your songs began and after they were through!

Oh, say if on this hill

Somewhere your sister's body lies in death,

So I may follow there, and make a wreath

Of my locked hands, that on her quiet breast

Shall lie till age has withered them!

(Ah, sweetly from the rest

I see

Turn and consider me

Compassionate Euterpe!)

"There is a gate beyond the gate of Death,

Beyond the gate of everlasting Life,

Beyond the gates of Heaven and Hell," she saith,

"Whereon but to believe is horror!

Whereon to meditate engendereth

Even in deathless spirits such as I

A tumult in the breath,

A chilling of the inexhaustible blood

Even in my veins that never will be dry,

And in the austere, divine monotony

That is my being, the madness of an unaccustomed mood.

This is her province whom you lack and seek;

And seek her not elsewhere.

Hell is a thoroughfare

For pilgrims,—Herakles,

And he that loved Euridice too well,

Have walked therein; and many more than these;

And witnessed the desire and the despair

Of souls that passed reluctantly and sicken for the air;

You, too, have entered Hell,

And issued thence; but thence whereof I speak

None has returned;—for thither fury brings

Only the driven ghosts of them that flee before all things.

Oblivion is the name of this abode: and she is there."

Oh, radiant Song! Oh, gracious Memory!

Be long upon this height

I shall not climb again!

I know the way you mean,—the little night,

And the long empty day,—never to see

Again the angry light,

Or hear the hungry noises cry my brain!

Ah, but she,

Your other sister and my other soul,

She shall again be mine;

And I shall drink her from a silver bowl,

A chilly thin green wine,

Not bitter to the taste,

Not sweet,

Not of your press, oh, restless, clamorous nine,—

To foam beneath the frantic hoofs of mirth—

But savoring faintly of the acid earth,

And trod by pensive feet

From perfect clusters ripened without haste

Out of the urgent heat

In some clear glimmering vaulted twilight under the odorous vine.

Lift up your lyres! Sing on!

But as for me, I seek your sister whither she is gone.

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you’ve always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

#the poem is about persephone #from greek mythology #keep in mind this was written in the 1920s #people didnt like really KNOW about who persephone was on a national scale #so this is her love poem to her #thanks for letting me do this #I just needed to ramble #I haven't rambled about my writing in a while #I don't even care if anyone reads this im just happy I wrote something down #If anyones curious about the other ones leave in in my inbox :)

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castlebyersafterdark · 2 months ago

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Nooooo lmao that title my poor man getting fucking roasted. He's a dad!! His whole plot is trying to rescue his wife and then daughter across games 7 and 8, but also gets the shit kicked out of him along the way. His voice actor is just top tier on the whimpers (he also just has a very soothing voice) lmao He just popped into my head randomly yesterday, so reading that last post of yours made me laugh and I made the connection instantly lol I can totally see Will innocently playing games and "pretending" to be bad at them so he can have his character make all those noises over and over again!! anyway I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED TIME STamps instead of making you go in blind here bless your ears with these 1:17, 2:28, 4:01, 13:47, 14:29, 17:32, 34:56, 38:28, 38:37, and 38:04 is so funny that this is actually real dialog from the game. Or also physically Leon from the resident evil 4 remake, or Carlos Oliveira from resident evil 3 remake, YEAH video game characters in horror games are OUT HERE and the the resident evil series is leading this hot guy brigade. There is a whole world of hot, animated guys in video games just waiting for Will to find them lol I love the idea of him being able to be sneaky simping for the hot guys in complete inconspicuous things that are generally considered "normal dude things" like video games!! Except back in the 80s the quality was shit so. I guess that's more of a modern au mentality but my point still stands. Or it's just older Will timeline still playing video games, getting turned on by these characters while he waits for Mike to get home so he can jump him lol

Oh no, your poor guy!! They did him dirty, that sounds interesting though! I am not a very avid gamer much anymore myself (though I do live with one...) and don't really know much at all about this specific game. Character does have a nice voice, agreed there. And this is a really perfect HC for Will!! I do tend to like a canon timeline, but there's also some fun in fitting him into modern day sensibilities and adapting his character to fit - I know he'd be a really passionate gamer (and in the canon timeline too but the progression of video games is a bit different). He and Mike, they'd definitely have games they like together and separate interests as well. Horror games for Will! Absolutely. And oh, I looooove his sneaky secondary interest in the games and flying lowkey for that. It really fits! OBSESSED with the idea that Will would pretend to be bad to get the guys to make some suggestive noise ohhhh that's sooooo real, genuinely this is killing me it's so him hahaha. Big brain headcanon right there.

#asks #Will

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 10 months ago

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Sorry if this is weird - but can we get The Star Seven and where they fall on the LGBT spectrum? :3 Or physical/mental illness N stuff? (Also you're my favorite fanfic author of all time! Ur so cool <3 )

Oh my GODDDDDDDD FIRST OF ALL!!!

Tysm I’m fucking losing my shit at being someone’s favorite fanfic author!!! And I am ALWAYS down to go stupid abt OrangeJuiceVerse oh my fuck.

Also!!!! There is not a single neurotypical mf in the entire 7!!! These bitches are soooo out here terrorizing any therapist they try to go to. So to start Off.

Kyle. That little I Learned Something Today Ass Bitch is SO fuckin gay!!! Like he realized as a preteen that he he didn’t actually like women like that (no wonder he’s Maidenless smh) and he was like OH! Bc the way he felt abt Stan was soooo homiesexual dear lord he whole ass kept it to himself for way too long. He’s also on the ace spectrum, bc as a demi loser, I feel like he’s demi idc. Like this man fr thought porn was something only referenced in movies and then Kenny showed him some shit and he was like WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL IS THIS rip same Ky. As for mental illnesses and such, aside from being Down Horrendous for the sbf, this poor guy is sooo fucked in the brain. So he’s got awful anxiety, borderline obsessive compulsive tendencies, a fucking eating disorder (for a lil while in hs, he’s mentally fine in that department during most of the ojv), some kinda martyr complex. And physically? Mans a mess. Type 1 diabetes, absolute shit immune system, chronic issues with his left knee, probably anemia, on the verge of developing early onset arthritis when he gets older bc he fucked his body up with the ed, he’s STRUGGLING. He’s also stubborn as fuck and has frequently passed out because he didn’t want to check his levels. He gets in trouble with literally everyone for that.

STAN!!! Jesus this poor boy. My absolute Bi King!!! (Kyle may be the one biking around town bc his road rage is so godawful but Stan is the BI-king) yeah I’m a bi Stan believer bc this man is a HUGE simp!!! Ohhhh my god this boy when he was younger he’d see someone pretty and be SO down bad. But the only person he ever was actually good at being in a relationship with was Kyle. Stanley Down Bad Marsh, since the moment he knew what beauty was, beauty was Kyle. He did have a crush on Wendy in 4th grade, but then he was like kyyyylllleee. (Jail to stan). God his brain is so fucked. First of all RANDY is his father so he’s got trauma out the wazzoo, he’s an alcoholic, and he’s so plagued with adhd and dyslexia like pack it up Percy Jackson (he’s so Percy coded argue w the wall) plus this guy is depressed as hellllll. Oh my fuck Sadsack is real his lows are LOW and Kyle has threatened him with his therapist friends before. He’s doing better later down the timeline, thank you aa, oh yeah there’s the alcoholism too, but he’s the support group KING my darling boy ojv stan!!!

Kenny. Ok man the Kenny Of It All is sooooo bizarre. So he is immortal, but no one knows except for Marj! This takes such a mental toll on him, this guy is out here fully discombobulated bc he just came back from a rebirth and everyone’s like oh hey Ken where’d u go yesterday. His deaths have gotten less frequent as he grows up, but tbh he is still veeeerrry prone to bouts of depression and anxiety because of them, especially when he feels forgotten. I delved into that here and a tiny bit here, his mentality honestly can’t really be put into words. Like his brain doesn’t make sense even to himself. ALSO!!! He is THE Pan Without A Plan he’s so all over the place if you put him in the same room with Stan (his Blood Brother In Desperation, his Ride Or Die Disaster Bi), someone’s comin out in need of an emergency room.

Tweek!!!!! Dude Tweek that poor kid. Addiction, ocd, anxiety, the guys got it all. Also, another bitch on the ace spectrum? Yep. Homoromantic for sure, and closer to the sex-repulsed side of things.

Craig is an enigma dude, like this mf is so nonchalant about everything until he isn’t, the typa man to just casually drop some random piece of lore and you’re just like BRUH TF?!? Smh but anyway so he’s autistic, diagnosed as a kid when his parents were like our son got something goin on, and then everyone in his life was like ohhhh that makes sense. He gets kind of violent in his meltdowns, punching walls and shit, and he’s SCARY!! Not because he’s trying to be, like OrangeJuiceVerse Craig is such a softie, but he’s also scary looking! Like he’s 6’4 and long as hell, resting bitch face, he’s honestly kind of terrifying until you get used to him. He’s got the most absurd dry sense of humor though omg he and Kyle have this stupid “we can be assholes for fun” vibe. He’s a full blown gay ass dude btw.

MARJORINE MY BELOVED! She doesn’t label herself really, she just knows she loves Kenny, and her heart is so big like Love Is Stored In The Marj (unfortunately she’s also the queen of mlms and has had multiple pick me phases smh gullible queen). So she ALSO is autistic, and omg she’s a lot of the reason Kyle switched his major from premed to psych. I’ve mentioned before the m5 living together the first year of college and one time Marj had a bit of a problem at a karaoke bar with Stan and Stan my precious sweetheart IMMEDIATELY brought her to Ky (Kenny had studio hours) and Kyle’s letting her braid his hair and he’s helping her through her meltdown and she’s like “you should really do this as your job”. She was right. Kyle’s fantastic at what he does.

Jesus fuckin Christ Cartman. No one knows what the hell his sexuality is. He won’t tell you. He won’t disclose his pronouns either. (Tbh this mf never fully figures out his sexuality or gender he’s just vibin and also doesn’t care.) Also bruhhhh he’s such a disaster mentally. He’s been on a cocktail of meds since middle school for schizophrenia, sociopathic personality disorder, bpd, poor dudes got too damn much going on. BUT he’s relatively stable from like 6th grade onwards. Just an asshole for fun and out of habit. (OJV Cartman is so much fun to me)

OKAY! Dude you have no idea how excited I was to get this ask I’ve wanted to talk abt what the OJV Star Seven have goin on mentally foreeeevvvver!!!

Any curiosities someone has about OrangeJuiceVerse or ANY of my other stuff PLEASE ask me about whatever! I am super annoying and Weird!!!

#asks #south park #headcanons #OrangeJuiceVerse #my shit #sp headcanons #look I stand by these #ojv

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