#sometimes i think i get too overwhelmed trying to do Everything at once so it's nice to have a structure like this that limits me to some
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DN ask game: how about 18 and 23 (23 I will amend to 'one of your current favourite moments,' in case you are me and hate choosing favourites in any kind of absolute way haha)
CACKLES oh you know me so well =3=" original ask game
18. what do you think about Wammy’s House?
MY GOD. what do i NOT think about wammy's house. i feel like i've already talked a bit on wammy's house in Various Essays, but i suppose to coagulate some of those kinda random thoughts...
it Fucks those kids up. by nature of what wammy's house Is, i don't think it's possible for a single kid to get through it w/o getting at least a little fucked up. that goddamn orphanage is releasing a Storm of incredible messed up little geniuses on the world and the world will never recover. you can't create a fucking organization based around concepts like Live Up To The World's Greatest Detective or Never Ever Use Your Real Name (guess that's probably KIRA motivated, but still) without screwing over the sense of identity of an entire generation. nobody's doin it like them fr.
i really really really like the idea that people toss around about KIRA = god of the new world, therefore -> L = god of the old world, and i think wammy's house maps onto that idea super well as a kind of cult of the old god. something something greco-roman mystery cults, L as a void player homestuck classpect-wise, the Secrets and Idolization inherent to that entire entity. oh yeah it's all comin together rubs my hands eviley.
i saw someone say the LABB murders novel was bad the other day and almost cried because i personally Adore that book, for the additional naomi characterization + beyond moments yes, but also for the extra lore it establishes about wammy's and L more generally. having actual Generations within the house is so fucking fascinating by how you can break it down, especially when you try to fit L into it and maybe have a generation where he was interacting with the other kids during his kinda Rise to Power. i definitely think beyond and L interacted quite extensively at the very least (headcanon basis for that mostly, i just like the idea + it explains why he even got the idea to emulate him so closely), and the existence of A in and of itself is such a fascinating mystery, i love seeing how people mess with the idea of them in different ways.
also everyone go read heirs and spares for fantastic light-at-wammy's house content that almost reads like some of the best earliest parts of the promised neverland and also has some great L and light childhood worsties content. go go
also kira bless time speaks for writing that entire timeline where light and L go live at wammy's and traumatize mello w/ their horrible terrible flirting that is fucking saving me. i am so Desperate for more lawlight interacting with wammy's content i have no idea why that sets my brain off so bad but it Just Does. etc etc L negligent parent King for the win, i need to see near and L have the most horrible terrible psychological battles monologuing so loud it stinks up the entire damn room while mello and light are beating each other with bats in the background. please. lord.
also also roger's characterization in the seals are good series is unironically my accepted characterization for him now whoops. btw i don't think i have many Deep Thoughts on watari, he's kinda just a shitty old man philanthropist to me :/ though i do find him more interesting and Paternalistic with a good L genderbend.........
23. what was your favorite moment and why?
you said current favorite so honestly... ok i'll limit myself to two.
FAVORITE SCENE OF ALL TIME: LIGHT DYING. ez. specifically in the manga. there is legitimately no better scene in the entire series. this fucking panel haunts my dreams it's so goddamn Good
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there is nothing i love more in this world than watching light yagami bloody and pathetic crawling on the floor and begging for his life only to die like every other criminal he killed. his fear is so Palpable it literally makes me sick. i've read this final sequence, like ch.105-107 but especially this last bit so many goddamn times istg it's burned into my eyelids LIGHT YAGAMIIIIIIII. also his laugh in the anime is fucking incredible in both dubs 10/10 no notes you killed it fellas
FAVORITE SCENE AT THIS MOMENT: been thinking a Lot about both naomi and matsuda lately and their various notable scenes, oddly. i think i need to reread his entire comedy of errors during yotsuba again alskjfskjd and also check out naomi's death again esp in conjunction with LABB murder stuff?? idk. they're both characters that i feel i haven't talked much about (also kiyomi, thought i've been getting Thoughts on her LMFAO thank you forever @kiyomitakada) so i wanna get my image of them cleared up more in my head. also all of the SPK too, halle especially. damn i guess that's a whole lot of moments actually :P WHATEVER.
anyways ty for the ask <33
#death note#astronaut rambles#ask#thank you thank you thank you a million times for asking about wammy's#i love love love thinking about wammy's everyone go talk about how fucked up that house is even more#anyways another mini essay cuz i think the character limit for asks is way shorter than usual posts lol#this has been super nice to get some of my random DN thoughts together actually#sometimes i think i get too overwhelmed trying to do Everything at once so it's nice to have a structure like this that limits me to some#mini-er rambles
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'The other side of the door'
Not outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
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summary: Joel is giving you the silent treatment until you come back home hurt, and he wasn't there.
w.c: idk.
warnings: angst, miscommunication, mentions of a broken arm, fluff.
a/n: this is me after having an outburst about not writing again. If this flops I will have another one and I'll take a break forever. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💌
dividers by: @/saradika-graphics
It was 2 a.m., and you were sobbing on the cold bathroom floor like a little girl, asking for her mother to kiss the tears away. The pain on your now broken arm was unbearable, but the stillness in your heart was worse, enveloped in a shirt that belonged to your brother-in-law instead of your boyfriend because he didn’t pick up the phone after the officers called him.
Instead, Tommy picked you up, rushing to you the moment he saw you by the ambulance with a sling around your left side and a bandage on your forehead.
“Oh my god! Are you okay? Where is Joel?” He said something, touching your face for some sort of answer, but you stopped listening to him after Joel’s name was mentioned.
“I don’t know where Joel is.” You said it monotonously.
Tommy's face paled as he realized the gravity of the situation. "It's going to be alright; we'll find him," he said, though his voice trembled with uncertainty.
“He didn’t pick up the phone,” you said again. “He hasn’t talked to me in a week, Tommy.”
“My brother can be grumpy sometimes; you know him,” he said, trying to find a way to make you smile, but you felt just ashamed.
You didn’t mean to be hit by a car on the on the way home, but everything happened so fast, and your mind was everywhere but focused on the road ahead of you.
“What if I call him?” he offered.
“He turned off the phone after my call,” you said, standing up slowly with the help of the paramedic.
Tommy helped you into the backseat of his truck, making sure you were secure before he slid into the driver’s seat. The drive to your house was quiet, save for your occasional wince of pain and Tommy’s sighs of worry. He kept glancing at you through the rearview mirror, his concern evident.
Once home, Tommy guided you inside, supporting your weight gently. He settled you on the couch and handed you a glass of water. "You need to rest," he said softly. "I’m sure you both will figure this out in the morning."
You nodded weakly, too exhausted to argue. The pain in your arm was a constant reminder of the accident, but the ache in your heart was a dull, persistent throb. You clutched Joel’s shirt tighter around you, its familiar scent providing a small comfort.
“Do you want me to stay here and beat him once he arrives?” He asked jokingly, making you smile for a mere second.
“No, I don’t think that’s necessary,” you said, managing a weak smile despite the situation. “But thank you, Tommy.”
He chuckled softly, sitting down beside you. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Joel can be stubborn, but he loves you. I’m sure he’ll come around.”
You leaned your head back, closing your eyes for a moment. The exhaustion was overwhelming, but sleep was still a distant hope.
Tommy stayed with you for a little while longer, making sure you were comfortable. He adjusted the pillows around you and tucked the blanket more securely. "You should get some sleep," he said gently. "I'll stay until you do."
You nodded, too tired to argue, but you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness. You tried to focus on the comforting presence of Tommy, the warmth of Joel's shirt, and the hope that things would be better in the morning.
Eventually, Tommy rose from the couch. "I'm going to head out now. You can call me if you need anything, okay?"
You managed a small nod. "Thanks, Tommy. I really appreciate it."
He gave you a reassuring smile, though the worry never left his eyes. "Get some rest. We’ll figure everything out in the morning." He squeezed your shoulder gently before heading to the door.
You listened to the sound of the door closing and the silence that followed. The house felt impossibly quiet and empty. The weight of the evening pressed down on you, and tears welled up in your eyes again.
There was Joel’s shirt on the couch, and you clutched it tighter with your left arm, breathing in the faint scent of him. The memories of the accident replayed in your mind—the screeching tires, the impact, the confusion. But what hurt the most was Joel’s absence, his phone turned off, and the uncertainty of where he was or why he hadn’t answered.
You stood up, walking upstairs towards your and Joel’s bedroom, but instead of lying on the bed, you walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind you, and slid down, sitting on the floor. Tears began to flow down your cheeks.
Joel wasn't home. Now that you needed him, he was out somewhere, still avoiding you.
You sat on the cold bathroom floor, your back against the door, and let the tears flow freely. The pain in your arm was nothing compared to the ache in your heart. You felt abandoned, hurt, and utterly alone.
As the minutes passed, you lost track of time, consumed by the overwhelming sadness. The sound of your sobs echoed off the tiled walls, and you didn’t hear the faint sound of a key turning in the front door or the footsteps on the stairs.
Joel moved through the house with a growing sense of urgency, the emptiness and silence amplifying his fear. It wasn't until he stepped inside the bedroom that he heard you wiping from the bedroom.
Gently, he opened the door and saw you sitting on the cold floor, clutching to your own arm and sobbing uncontrollably. The sight broke his heart, and he immediately kneeled beside you, his presence startling you from your sorrow.
"What the hell happened?" he asked softly, ignoring your plea. He didn’t understand why you were this hurt when, in the morning, you were perfectly fine.
"Go." You whispered, ashamed of yourself for being hurt and crying.
"Now you want to talk?" you asked, standing up carefully and using the wall for support.
Joel reached out to steady you, his touch gentle but firm. "Please, just tell me what happened," he said, his voice filled with concern.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "I was hit by a car on my way home. It happened so fast, and I was so scared. The officers called you, but you didn't answer. Tommy came instead."
Joel's face paled, his eyes widening with shock and guilt. "I had no idea. My phone died, and I was out of town.”
You could see the sincerity in his eyes, but the hurt and anger you felt couldn’t be ignored. "You haven't talked to me in a week, Joel. I needed you, and you weren't there."
Joel's shoulders slumped, and he looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know. I’ve been a fool, and I’m so sorry. I let my pride get in the way, and I hurt you because of it. Please, let me make it right."
You looked at him, and the regret was evident on his face. It mirrored your own feelings, and slowly, the anger began to melt away, replaced by a longing for things to be better. "I just needed you," you repeated, your voice trembling.
Joel took a step closer, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm here now. I promise, I’ll never let you down again.”
"You didn't seem to care about me for the last week, Joel."
"Lo—"
"Don't you dare call me that now. I'm mad at you," you interrupted, your eyes flashing with anger.
Joel looked stricken, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for the right words. "I know I messed up. I know I've been distant, and I'm so sorry. But please believe me, I do care about you more than anything."
You took a step back, needing space to think and process everything. "If you care so much, why did you ignore me? Why did you shut me out over missing dinner?"
His heart broke at the sight of you, staring away from him with dried tears on your cheeks. He didn't have words left to make this better, nor a way to ask for forgiveness or soothe your heart after breaking it without real intention behind it.
He was angry at you for missing the dinner, and he wanted to get it back at you.
But this? This wasn't what he wanted.
"I can't say how sorry I am," Joel continued, his voice cracking.
"Well, don't say it then," you snapped back.
"Love—"
“No! I'm tired, and everything hurts. My arm is broken, and I feel so humiliated right now. I just want to go to sleep,” you cried out, the words pouring out in a torrent of emotion.
"Okay, let me help you,” he said, reaching out to touch your shoulder, but you stepped back from him.
"No, everything you have done for the past week makes me cry," you said, the weight of your words hanging in the air. "You make me cry," you sobbed into your hand, trying to sweep the tears away.
Lifting your gaze, you looked at Joel, who seemed to be conflicted. His brown eyes, now glassy with unshed tears, almost made you give in.
"Could you please sleep in the guest room tonight?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Joel's face fell, but he nodded slowly, understanding the need for space. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll be in the guest room. If you need anything, anything at all, just call me."
You nodded, too drained to respond further. Joel hesitated for a moment, then turned and left the room, the weight of his footsteps heavy on the floor. As he reached the bedroom, he turned towards you.
“Do you want to know why I was so mad at you for missing that dinner?” He asked, his voice low and filled with a mix of regret and vulnerability.
You looked at him, the exhaustion and pain making it hard to process everything, but you nodded slightly, curious despite yourself.
Joel took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours. “It wasn’t just about the dinner. It was because I had planned to ask you to marry me that night.”
The words hung in the air between you, heavy with emotion. You stared at him, the weight of his confession taking a moment to sink in. You felt your heart beating so fast.
“Joel,” you started, your voice trembling. “I had no idea.”
“I know,” he said softly. “And that’s on me. I should have talked to you instead of shutting you out. I’ve been a fool, and I’m so sorry for everything.”
The revelation left you feeling even more conflicted. The pain of the past week, the accident, and now this. You didn’t know how to respond, so you simply nodded, feeling the tears welling up again.
Joel took a step back, giving you space, but not without planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, just next to the bandage. “Goodnight,” he said gently, before turning and walking to the guest room.
After that, you lay down, clutching Joel's pillow tightly against your chest, the familiar scent providing a small comfort amidst the chaos of your emotions. As you closed your eyes, the weight of the day slowly began to lift.
The night dragged on, each minute feeling like an eternity. You tossed and turned in bed, unable to find comfort. The weight of Joel's confession and the emotional turmoil of the past week kept you from sleeping peacefully. The silence of the house was deafening, and the pain in your arm felt almost secondary to the ache in your heart.
Around 3 a.m., unable to bear the loneliness any longer, you decided to go to the guest room. Moving slowly and carefully, you made your way down the hallway, each step mindful of your broken arm. The pain was a constant reminder of the day’s events, but the burning desire to be near Joel overpowered it.
You opened the guest room door quietly, the creak of the hinges making you wince slightly. Joel was lying on the bed, his back turned to you. You carefully slipped into the room, trying not to disturb him too much. The guest bed was slightly too small, but you managed to settle in beside him, positioning yourself so as not to jostle your arm too much.
Joel stirred, his eyes fluttering open. He blinked, his gaze shifting to you. Confusion and surprise crossed his face as he saw you lying next to him. He sat up, pushing himself on one elbow, his brow furrowed in concern.
“What are you doing here?” he asked softly, his voice still heavy with sleep.
You shifted slightly to face him, your voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t sleep... I needed to be close to you.”
Joel’s eyes softened, and he reached out carefully, his hand brushing against your cheek. “Are you okay? Does your arm hurt?”
“It hurts,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “But I just needed to be near you, to feel like everything might be okay.”
Joel nodded, understanding the depth of your need. “I’m sorry for everything,” he said again, though his tone was gentler this time. “I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll do everything I can to make it right. Please, just let me be here for you.”
You reached out and took his hand, feeling curiosity creeping up. “About the proposal,” you began. “Are you planning to ask me soon?”
Joel's eyes softened, and he looked at you with a mixture of hope and vulnerability. “I was planning to ask you that night,” he admitted, his voice low and filled with regret. “But now I don’t feel like I deserve you.”
You searched his face, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.
Joel took a deep breath, his expression serious yet tender. “Now, I want to make sure we’re in a good place before I ask you. I want it to be right, and I don’t want to rush into it just to fix things. But I can’t deny that I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
You smiled softly in the darkness, your heart swelling with emotion. “I would love for you to ask me now,” you whispered.
Joel chuckled softly, a sound that was warm and comforting in the quiet of the night. “Even with the broken arm?” he asked, his voice light with affection.
You nodded, your smile widening. “Even with the broken arm, I know we have things to work through, but I’d still say yes.”
Joel’s laughter was gentle, filled with relief and affection. “You never cease to amaze me,” he said, brushing a gentle kiss against your forehead. “Alright, then. I promise that when the time is right, I’ll ask you properly. For now, let’s focus on getting better and being here for each other.”
You nestled closer to him, feeling the comfort of his embrace. “I don’t need a fancy proposal in a fancy restaurant, Joel. I just want you,” you said softly.
Joel’s expression softened even more, his hand gently stroking your hair. “And you have me,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity. “No matter what, I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together, and when the time is right, we’ll take the next step together too.”
You let out a small, playful sigh. “Okay, if there isn’t a ring on my breakfast tomorrow, I’ll be mad,” you joked, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Joel laughed softly, the sound a comforting balm to your troubled heart. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, his tone light but warm.
He took a deep breath, his gaze steady and sincere. “So, would you like to marry me?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for a response.
The question hung in the air, tender and unexpected. You looked at him, your heart swelling with emotion. The warmth and love you felt in that moment made it clear that you were ready to take that next step.
With a smile that spoke of both relief and joy, you nodded. “Yes, Joel. I would love to marry you.”
Joel’s face lit up with a mixture of happiness and relief. He pulled you into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around you with tenderness to avoid hurting your broken arm. “I’m so glad,” he murmured into your hair. “We’ll make it work, I promise.”
You snuggled closer to him, the sense of security and love filling you with a peaceful calm. As you closed your eyes, the laughter and playful banter gave way to a hopeful, contented sleep, wrapped in the warmth of his presence and the promise of a future together.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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𝓣𝓦𝓢𝓣 !𝓝𝓢𝓕𝓦! 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 !
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DNI If you’re uncomfortable with these topics !
𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼𝓵𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓾𝓵 𝓿𝓮𝓻 !
~~~~~~
𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 𝑅𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓈
mommy kink
Tries his best to top, but ends up bottoming almost every time
The reason he’s bad at topping is because: 1, he’s very stiff, he’s too overwhelmed. 2, he literally tops by the book
Before his first time, he read a book on tips and bases everything he does on that
He is trying his best to get better though
Serious praise kink. Degradation will actually break his heart
Riddle has surprising stamina so he can go a decent number of rounds, although he doesn't last as long
He's prone to overstimulation, this is all very new to him
Mostly liquidy, and tastes ok. Somewhat sweet.
Kind of loud, but he tries to muffle most of it because he considers it "indecent"
𝒜𝒸𝑒 𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓁𝒶
Ass man
Eating ass, looking at ass, cumming in ass, fucking in ass. Completely ass drunk
Lots of foreplay for him. Even teasing can count as foreplay for him when he's in the mood, which is quite often
He's really mean. He'll deny you orgasms and will tease you the entire time about it.
He loves reverse cowgirl and doggy for obvious reasons aforementioned, but he likes seeing your spine arch as well
Personally I hc Ace specifically being either Bi or Pan. I feel like he'd also be open to poly relationships or simply bringing a 3rd person into the bedroom
A little bit of degradation on both ends will really get him going
Ace is a switch but prefers to be the one in control. He's super athletic, of course he'd have good stamina too.
Thicker consistency, and kind of sourish. A little harder to swallow.
So whiny and he curses so much
𝒟𝑒𝓊𝒸𝑒 𝒮𝓅𝒶𝒹𝑒
Deuce is very sweet and very gentle
Would never do anything to hurt you
It would be pretty chill with him, very sweet unless you propose something else
Deuce thinks of intimate time as a private thing between the both of you, so he takes it very seriously
Your pleasure above his. His priority is to make sure you feel good all throughout
This by consequence also brings about some of the sweetest aftercare. He’ll make sure you know how loved and appreciated you are <3
For that reason, I think he’d be very open to experiment with kinks and positions, as long as it doesn’t involve hurting you or potentially putting you in a dangerous situation
Seeing your blissed out expressions fuels him to keep going further
Sometimes a few curses slip up, but he tries to hold them back
Tastes as decent as cum can taste like. Not watery, but not super thick either, it’s not particularly difficult to swallow
Cuddles afterwards always. Or at least expect him to end up falling asleep cradling you in his arms
𝒞𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒟𝒾𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓃𝒹
He films the whole thing on his phone and has a whole album dedicated to it. And he’s sneaky about it too, you can hardly tell when he’s filming, unless he’s blatantly doing it which also adds to the excitement
Asked for nudes way too quickly
Sexting (shocking)
He’d have no reservations using his unique magic. Are both of his hands busy? No problem, he’ll use Split Card for another pair, sometimes several
Taking advantage of his unique magic, he’d try all sorts of things to push you over the brink.
I feel like he'd test to see how much stimuli you can stand with all his clones
He’d put your hair up if it’s long enough, and pull on it
Cater would also have an obscene amount of toys from the most popular ones to the most niche.
He’d also be down for pretty much anything, at least once
A little thicker, with a little more sour and salty taste.
𝒯𝓇𝑒𝓎 𝒞𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇
He'd definitely use doodle suit to make his and your cum taste like whipped cream
For this reason he loves eating you out and vice versa
Trey sucks on whatever he can. Your shoulder, your neck, your tits, your fingers. Treating them like sweet candy
He loves to have you clawing at his back and leaving scratch marks all over it, so he really likes missionary
He'll help you brush your teeth after giving him head
Best aftercare ever?? Like he'd whip up anything you'd like, run a hot bath for you, and tuck you in afterward, maybe even cuddle if you feel like it
Although Trey is very usually mild-mannered, this switches around with you. He can become quite rough as a way of stress relief if you give him permission. He'll slap you, yank on your hair, keep a sharp grasp on your hips and wrists
Trey is vocal, but not too loud.
He can make it taste and smell like anything, but it does have a thicker consistency
He'd often incorporate real food, as a form of temperature play and sitophilia. He'd pour a chilled drink over your body to lick it all up or place something sweet between your legs to eat you out
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#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twst imagines#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst x you#twst x yuu#twst headcanons#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#riddle x yuu#twst hcs#twst smut#twst smau#twst riddle#ace trappola#ace x y/n#ace x you#ace x reader#ace smut#ace twisted wonderland#ace twst#deuce twst#deuce spade#twst deuce#twisted wonderland deuce#deuce x yuu#deuce x reader#cater diamond
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PAC: Whispers from your future spouse’s soul: a message your heart needs to hear
TIP JAR - FREE READINGS - PAID READINGS
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Sometimes we miss someone we've never met
1->2
3->4
Group 1:
My love, I know how hard it’s been for you to keep standing tall when the world feels like it’s crumbling around you. You’ve carried so much responsibility, always striving to maintain control and stability even when chaos surrounds you. I see your strength, and I admire it more than you could ever know. But I want you to know it’s okay to let your guard down with me. You don’t have to be the one holding everything together all the time. I’ll be your steady foundation when the storms come.
You’ve been going through transformations that feel heavy, almost unbearable, but trust me when I say you’re shedding the old to make room for the new. I want you to look at these changes not as endings, but as doors opening to a brighter, more secure future for us. There’s a seed of something beautiful sprouting in the cracks of your old life—trust it. I’ll be here to nurture it with you.
I know there have been moments where you’ve felt like giving up, where your efforts seemed wasted. But don’t let those doubts consume you, my love. All the work you’ve put in, all the pain you’ve endured, it’s leading you somewhere incredible. I see you as a creator, even in moments when you feel lost. Together, we’ll turn those fragments of hope into something solid.
There’s something you’ve been avoiding, a decision or a truth you don’t want to face. I see you hesitate, afraid of what might happen if you choose. But I want you to know that you are stronger than the fear that holds you back. Whatever you decide, I’ll be beside you, ready to catch you if you fall. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
When your world feels like it’s falling apart, remember this: sometimes destruction is necessary for rebirth. You are rising from the ashes of what once was, becoming the person you’re meant to be. And when you look around and feel lost, know that I’m here, already searching for you, ready to hold you when we finally meet.
Group 2:
My dearest, I feel your frustration and your impatience. You’re caught in a cycle that feels endless, like no matter what you do, things just won’t fall into place. But please, don’t lose hope. You’re not stuck—you’re learning. Every step, even the ones that feel like missteps, is shaping you into the person you’re meant to be. And I want you to know that I’m so proud of how hard you’re trying, even when you can’t see the results.
There’s chaos around you, and I know it feels overwhelming. It’s like you’re juggling too much at once, trying to keep everything balanced, but it’s okay to let some things go. You don’t have to do it all alone. I’m coming, and when I do, I’ll help you carry the weight. Until then, please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing better than you think.
I sense that you’ve been questioning yourself, your intuition, your path. You’ve doubted your own wisdom, wondering if you’re making the right choices. But trust me when I say that deep down, you already know what’s best for you. You don’t have to second-guess yourself so much. You’re more capable than you realize.
The wheel may look like it's not turning in your favor right now, but this isn’t the end. Life isn’t a straight path; it’s full of twists and turns, and sometimes we have to lose our way to find it again. I believe in you, in your strength to keep going even when the road is unclear. And when we finally meet, I’ll remind you every day of how far you’ve come.
You’re a fighter, my love, even when you feel like you’re losing the battle. Your resilience is one of the many reasons I’m drawn to you. Hold on to that fire inside you, and don’t let the world dim it. I’m here, waiting for the day I get to tell you all this in person, and I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.
(IM SO HAPPY THIS ONE CAME OUT FOR YOU it's one of my fav songs 🤧)
Group 3:
My love, you’ve been feeling like your efforts aren’t paying off, like no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough. But I see your heart, your determination, and I want you to know that it’s not in vain. Every step you take is bringing us closer together, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Trust the process, because I already see the beautiful life we’re going to build together.
I know you’ve been hurt before, and it’s made you cautious, maybe even a little guarded. But you’re learning to trust again, to let go of the fears that once held you back. I see you opening up, little by little, and it’s one of the most beautiful things about you. When we meet, I’ll make sure you never have to question my loyalty or my love.
You’ve been moving so quickly, chasing your dreams, your goals, and sometimes forgetting to take a moment to breathe. I admire your drive, but I want you to remember that it’s okay to slow down. Life isn’t a race, and we have all the time in the world to create something amazing together.
You’re surrounded by love, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. Your friends, your family, they see the light in you that I see. Celebrate those connections, because they’re a reflection of the joy you bring to the world. And when I finally step into your life, I know we’ll create a bond just as unbreakable.
You’re on the brink of something incredible, my love. A new chapter is waiting for you, full of opportunities and second chances. Trust yourself, and trust that the universe is guiding us to each other. I can’t wait to meet you and tell you all the things I’ve been holding in my heart.
Group 4:
My dearest, I know how much you’ve been searching for answers, for guidance, for something to hold onto. You’ve been so strong, navigating the challenges life has thrown at you, but I see the exhaustion in your soul. You don’t have to do it all alone anymore. I’ll be here to support you, to guide you, and to remind you of the beauty in your strength.
You’ve been feeling stuck, like no matter what you do, you can’t move forward. But I want you to know that this is just a pause, not an end. Sometimes we need to step back to see the bigger picture, to understand what truly matters. Take this time to rest, to heal, and to prepare for the incredible journey ahead.
You’ve faced heartbreak, betrayal, and disappointment, but you’ve never let it define you. That resilience, that ability to keep going even when it hurts, is one of the things I love most about you. I promise to honor that strength, to never be the source of your pain, but the one who helps you heal.
There’s a part of you that’s afraid to let go of the past, to move on from what’s familiar, even if it no longer serves you. But I see your potential, your ability to rise above it all. Trust me when I say that the future holds so much more for you than you could ever imagine.
When we finally meet, I’ll show you what it means to be truly loved, to feel safe and cherished. I’ll be your partner in every sense of the word, and together, we’ll create a life filled with love, passion, and endless possibilities. Until then, know that I’m already loving you from afar, cheering you on as you take each step closer to me.
xoxo🌙
#tarot cards#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#pac reading#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#tarot spread#tarotblr#pick a photo#future spouse reading#future spouse#intuitive tarot reader#intuitive messages#pick an image#tarot love reading#love reading#tarot blog#tarot messages#intuitive readings#tarot guidance#tarot community#tarot free reading#future husband#Spotify#tarot future spouse#fs reading#fs tarot#fs pac#tarot witch
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Yandere Artist x GN!Maid-Reader
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Julian (or Jules as you nickname him), an esteemed artist in Victorian society, becomes captivated by a forgotten maid who moves through life unnoticed by others. Obsessed with finding ways to capture the adoration he has for you on canvas.
You’d been a maid at the gallery Julian visited, and the reason he returned over and over. He, a man of great status, an esteemed artist too, became drawn to you beyond his own understanding.
On one of Julian’s many visits, he found the courage to speak to you. "You work so hard, yet make it look as graceful as a dance", he murmured, his voice soft but sincere. You were startled—maids weren't meant to be noticed by men of his status. But Julian wasn’t like the others.
It was only after weeks of shared glances, whispered conversation and quiet sketches that Julian dared to ask you for more.
Losing sleep over the way you made him feel, emotions so deep and unexplainable he began going mad over trying to express it. His current models and pieces of art just weren't good enough compared to you and the way you make him feel.
A type of suffocating love he never thought could exist.
“Forgive me for being so forward,” he said, his voice gentle and earnest. “I understand this may come as a shock, but if you’d allow me, I would be honoured if you would be my muse."
Though you were hesitant to overstep and cause a scandal, he promised you everything you could want if you were to only be his muse, he’d give you a place to stay and all you could ask for, you wouldn’t have to be a maid anymore. But then being his muse, turned into friendship, then lovers.
He fell in love with how you so effortlessly inspired his work -but fell harder for how you grounded him as a person. Smitten by the little things- your soft laughter, the gentle way you spoke. He loved the small gestures you made without thinking, the way you’d hum as you worked. He'd notice it all.
While initially hesitant from the intensity of not being spared a glance to having a man tripping over himself at the sight of you -you grew to enjoy his presence. The idea of being someone who inspires him, someone who is at the centre of his world. After living your whole life in the shadows.
...
Many hours a week are sat in his study as he paints you, his work taking on a new life, new meaning that only makes it so much more beautiful.
Julian loves to draw you absentmindedly—it’s almost like an instinct, something that he can't stop even when he's lost in thought. He has many books filled with fast sketches that are almost abstract that he scribbles without even looking at the page, to incredibly detailed sketches that almost look like photos.
Parts of your day are recorded in those books like his own form of videoing you. Some are so attentive they could be made into a seamless stop motion.
Sometimes he even finds himself sitting on the bathroom floor as you bathe, talking to you as he once again absent-mindedly draws. finding inspiration for his next piece.
He’s obsessed with the little details. He gets lost in those details, and every sketch is a desperate attempt to capture your essence. But not necessarily just when he’s drawing either.
When he’s not drawing, Julian traces his fingers over your skin studying every part of you.
His love language is physical touch, though it’s always gentle and respectful. Gently running his fingers through your hair or resting a hand possessively on your waist.
But that doesn't mean he lacks in the other 4 departments. Like how he loves to whisper to you just how much you mean to him.
His feelings for you are intense, to the point of worship, though he doesn’t fully realise how deep his obsession runs, he doesn't do anything to correct it either.
Sometimes that can be overwhelming for you, especially going from such an ignored life to one in a lovely house, a handsome gentleman of a husband and the title of being a muse.
But you can't bring yourself to make him stop, he’s Prince Charming in your eyes.
You don’t see the way he glares or scowls at men who dare talk to you when you accompany him to town or an event. Or how he makes borderline cruel verbal jabs to women who try to take his attention from you even for a moment.
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Weaknesses part 3: stop everything
Gaz is so easy to stop in his tracks. You really just have to pout a little bit and tilt your head down. It’s all “C’mon, love… you know I can’t stand it when you look at me like that…”
Soap reads into text messages so hard sometimes. And he can tell right away when you’re not feeling so hot. A lot of “oh, that’s ok” and “but you don’t have to”. And like he’s already in his way to your place. He’s not even gonna ask, he knows you need him.
Ghost is specifically weak to overwhelm tears. He doesn’t like seeing you cry from being sad, but he hates seeing you cry because everything has just become too much. Too many burdens— too many people asking favors you couldn’t say no to. It really hurts his heart when you’re hurt because you’re kind— he’ll put aside anything and everything to attend to that.
Price is always watching you like a hawk. And his sights are set on you when he can see you quietly retreating. When you feel like no one is listening, paying attention, that you have nothing to offer. You do this sneaky thing where you try to slip away or go quiet when you think no one will notice if you do. He always notices. Will stop at nothing to pull you back in.
König is especially sensitive to your hormonal tears. Makes him feel so powerless— he can’t help what your body is doing to you. So he basically worships at your altar during that time— snacks, letting him use him as a heated, weighted blanket, giving you orgasms. He’s literally turning his phone off to attend to you— no distractions.
Nikolai gets especially keyed up when you’re upset because someone made you think a little less of yourself, intentional or not. He puts in all of this work to put you on a pedestal, his beautiful and fearsome darling, and someone else is picking at his stitch work. Once he attends to you, he’ll be making the offender beg for forgiveness.
#writing#cod fanfic#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#könig#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish#john price x reader#john price#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#nikolai x reader#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#nikolai belinski#cod nikolai x reader#könig x you#könig x reader#weaknesses#nikolai
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Obey Me! Brothers When Your On Your Period
Gonna keep the gn for the most part so anyone who gets this can feel included!! We’re all suffering together and I just want comfort 😭✌️p.s this is very me coded and I’m very much a crybaby and overreact to everything when I’m on my period so bare with me. My asks are open so if you want me to delve deeper on certain characters let me know!
Lucifer
Is informed of the menstrual cycle reading up on humans before you came to the devildom… well at least some of them
Makes sure you have the proper supplies you need already stocked in your room
Does NOT understand the emotional part
When Lucifers giving you one of his famous lectures, the pain begins and your just trying to stare at the floor
Lucifer: “are you even listening to me?”
You: “yes”
Lucifer: “I expect more from you as our human exchange student you know?”
At that moment you just put your face in your hands and start sobbing, too overwhelmed with the emotions and the pain
He’s taken aback for sure. He’s always expecting you to get mad at him, talk back, get angry, something other than this
He’s immediately by your side apologizing and making sure your okay
When you explain to him the situation he understands and lets you lay down with no other words
In the future when your on your cycle, he’s very gentle with you
The second he finds out your hurting, he immediately try’s to help in any way he can
Weather it’s getting you painkillers, a heating pad, anything you need
If you need a quiet place to be while your meds kick in he will let you lay down on the couch in his office while he rubs your back
Mammon
Has NO IDEA what a period is
But being your first man he notices the changes in you during that time
In a moment of pain you tell him what’s going on and have to explain to him about it
“Yer bleeding.. and ya do that ONCE A MONTH??? WHY???”
After a while he’s in tune of when it happens (mostly) and what you need
Always keeps pads/tampons on him in case you ask
If your cramping, all bets are off. No one is aloud to bother you or ask you for anything. Your going straight to his room or yours so he can take care of you.
“Leave MC alone! Cant ya see they’re in pain?!?”
If your craving snacks he will raid beels snack stash to get you what you need
Doesn’t mean it but when your upset and not on your period asks “what ya pmsing??”
he just wants to know
He can’t handle it if your emotional tho it gets him worked up too (even tho he tries to hide it)
“Don’t cry ya baby, you’re fine. The great mammons here ya know? It’s okay”
Leviathan
Figured it out through anime (what else is new)
If you tell him he might get a little wiggy and not know what to do
He’s trying his best let him live
Tell him what you need and he will do it for you literally anything
If your in pain he thinks your dying and panics a bit tell him you’ll be okay and you just need comfort
If you come to him teary eyed asking him to hang out he will put on a slice of life anime or something fun and cuddle with you in his bathtub bed
All the plushies and pillows are there so your warm and cozy
Keeps medication in his room on the off chance you need it
Satan
Oh this boy KNOWS about the pms
Read up on every book imaginable
If you get angry or frustrated during this time he completely understands
Your in pain! Who wouldn’t be upset
Definitely wants to fix the situation immediately but that can get overwhelming at times
“What do you need? Medicine? Heating pad? Water? You know you should stay hydrated.”
He’s just trying to help!
But sometimes you just need comfort
When you come to him, you just have to explain that you just need someone to be with you and to relax and it clicks
He will bring you to his room while he lays down and reads with you
If the pain gets to bad he will rub your head or back until you relax more
DEF yells at his brothers if they even think of bothering you
Asmo
I have a HC that asmo knows when your on your cycle before even you do so imma run with that
You don’t understand why he’s being so overly nice to you all of the sudden
He drags you into your room and you don’t get anything until the pain starts
“I just thought you could could use some extra asmo loving right now!”
It seems like he can read your mind on how your feeling
If your aggravated or frustrated he will let you rant and rave
If your sad and crying he will hold you while you let it all out
If your feeling self conscious he will tell you your gorgeous and amazing while he massages your scalp
Self care is in order, even if it’s just a warm bath he prepares for you with all the salts and oils to make you feel so relaxed, you can’t help but feel so cared for
Beel
We love this man but he doesn’t know anything about humans 😭 but he’s so willing to learn if it’s for you
Your pmsing all day at RAD and your very excited to have your snack that you have in the kitchen
After school, you immediately walk into the kitchen to find beel.
You open the cabinet for your snack, finding it gone
“Oh that? Sorry I was hungry”
You immediately start sobbing
He legit doesn’t know what to do
He normally promises to buy you snacks later and you are okay with it
He’s so guilty and so sorry
When you come to your senses and calm down you explain to him what’s going on
Your in pain?? Where does it hurt? How can he help??
Once he gets a grasp on it, every month he’s got you set
All your favorite snacks and sweets are bought for you to enjoy
If you don’t come down for dinner cause your ‘not hungry’ he’s worried
Will figure out your favorite meals you like for this time and make them for you
If you need a cuddle while your in pain he’s so warm and so cozy
Belphegor
He knows about humans and knows about periods but doesn’t know everything
And he’s a little late to the game with you
The other boys have gotten used to how you are during this time of the month and he’s new to it
You two are walking home and he’s upset with you
What could you do? You NEEDED him for a project you were working on for class so you woke him up from his hiding spot to pitch in
And he was upset and ranting
Not knowing the pain and emotional state you were in
You try to hold your tongue for as long as you can as you walk in front of him
Bel: “this is so so stupid, why do I have to do this project anyways?”
You: “I have to do this project too you know? Stop complaining so we can get this over with” you say with an irritated tone, just trying to get home.
Bel: “what, you on your period or something human? Lighten up”
Maybe it was the cramps irritated your body, making your back ache and your head hurt. Or maybe it was the hormones making your emotions run rampant. But you stop in your tracks, making Belphegor stop too
He can’t see your face, but he hears you let a sob out, wiping your eyes before you made a sprint to the house of lamentation 
Belphie doesn’t normally run, but he runs after you, missing you before you run to your room and shut the door behind you
Mammon sees the commotion, and stops him before he can reach your room to ask what happened
When Belphegor tells him, he’s pissed and lets him have it and explains the situation
When he realizes he’s so upset with himself
He shouldn’t have let his frustrations out on you during such a hard time
After a bit in your room, you hear a soft knock at your door
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were hurting”
You spent the rest of the evening cuddling
Finishes his and your part of the project to get some stress off of you
If he felt you twinge with the slightest bit of pain he would hold you that much tighter
After that, if he found out how you were feeling it was immediate nap time, he hates to see you hurting
Will massage your back to get you to fall asleep
Gets a bit too worried when your pain gets too bad and will ask Satan for help if needed
Welp here ya go! Belphegor isn’t even my favorite character and I got SO deep with him so you belphie Stans EAT UP
#obey me shall we date#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me belphie#obey me hcs#obey me scenarios#obey me x mc#obey me
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You're bedrotting too much.. What now?
Actually listen. I know you probably scroll through multiple posts trying to give you advice and you listen, but you don't actually listen. You continue scrolling. So for once, listen to the advice and take it.
Count to three then sit up. Turn your device off, take a deep breath, count from one to three, and then at three you sit up immediately. No excuses, no delaying.
Don't think, just get up. Don't think about the tasks you have to do. Thinking about it might make you feel lazy and urge you to get back in bed, so don't think. Just get up. You can count to three as well if it helps. Roll out of bed, stand up, and stretch.
Feel clean. Sometimes, when we're bedrotting, we feel gross (or at least in my case). When we feel gross, we might feel even more lazy or tired. What always works for me is doing one task to feel clean. This could be taking a shower, fixing up your bed, washing your face, changing your clothes, brushing your hair, cleaning that one pile of things just hanging around on your desk or on the floor.
Do only one task and one task only. Don't think about other tasks, think about only one task that you want or need to do. It doesn't need to be super complicated or huge, it could be a small thing like charging your laptop or taking a dirty mug out of the room and into the sink.
Turn it into a game! What always helps me is setting a timer and having a goal or multiple goals to achieve within that period of time. For example, within 30 minutes, I must clean my desk and my vanity table. If I don't achieve this, I get to have one spare life of extra 10 minutes. If I waste that spare life, I can't touch my phone for an entire 2 hours. If I win (achieve my goal), I get to eat a sweet treat. Set rewards, set consequences, and set a pace that you're comfortable with.
Don't be afraid if you mess up, just keep going. If, let's say, you lose the game or you face any obstacle throughout the day, don't give up. Just because you lost once doesn't mean you'll lose the entire day. Don't get back to bed, just keep going until you achieve the results you want.
Set everything in ridiculously small steps. Thinking about everything all at once will overwhelm you and push you back to bed. When you have a goal or a task, put it in VERY tiny microscopic steps. Don't think about anything else. For example, if you want to clean your desk, the first step is to even approach your desk. Second step: Grab any piece of trash and throw it. Third: Take 5 things off your desk. Fourth: Take another 5 things off your desk. Fifth: Dampen a towel. Sixth: Wipe the desk. And so on.
Listen to yourself UNLESS your mind is telling you to go back to bed. If you need a slower pace to get yourself going, go ahead. If you need a faster pace with more pressure, go ahead. If you want to put on some music or watch a film in the background or listen to a podcast / video while doing something, go ahead!
#strawberrysznn#strawberry#self love#mental health#mindset#mental growth#it girl#growth#glow up#girlblogging#self growth#self improvement#this is a girlblog#self help#advice#self care#selfhelp#reminder#life advice#self reminder#it girl energy#becoming that girl#girlboss#girlblog#self development#pink pilates princess#clean girl#health and wellness#glow up tips#dream girl
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𝑨 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕
Pairing: Alexia Putellas x reader
Words: 5.5k
Warnings: Mentions of throwing up. Panic attacks. I think that’s it.
Summary: Your time at Barça comes to an end.
Notes: I tried to add a little more detail to my writing, so I hope it turned out somewhat decent <3
[prompt list]
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A lot of people have told her what it was like to truly be in love. To feel that spark, that infatuation and instant connection that has you feeling weak at the knees. But Alexia hadn't truly known what love was until she'd met you. Like, true, fulfilling, genuine love that was both so exciting and terrifying it felt like falling off a cliff with no idea how high it is or what was at the bottom.
You came into her life unexpectedly, a ray of sunshine; always shining bright and radiating both warmth and happiness wherever you went. You make everyone around you feel good without even trying, a trait most people in this world lacked due to no fault of their own. Wherever she turned, you were there, the smile on your face so genuine it was hard not to smile back.
She doesn’t quite know how to put into words just how much she loves you, but if she has to try, it was like being on the brink of something extraordinary every single waking moment. You make her feel adored and valued on the days where she can't even stand herself. You make her feel cherished, important, like the ground beneath her wouldn't cave in at any second.
It was like a rollercoaster ride all of the time. Some days were both thrilling and exciting, and some days it was both dizzying and terrifying. Sometimes it was so overwhelming she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself. What was was sure of though is she wouldn't want to do any of it by herself. You were her everything, and she was yours, and she wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in the way of that. Including the fact you were moving half way across the country to join Arsenal.
It had been on the first of the month that you'd told her. You had been quiet and withdrawn for the entirety of the day, only responding to her futile attempts at conversation with quiet hums and one word answers.
Alexia hadn't quite known what to do when you'd exited the car with a quiet request for some space. You barely even give her a chance to respond, grabbing your things from the trunk before disappearing into the apartment building. Alexia had waited what she'd thought was a good amount of time before making her way inside too, footsteps hesitant and a deep sense of unease filling her stomach. The apartment door was closed, just as she'd thought it would be, and she does everything possible to swallow back the inevitable tightness in her throat as she unlocks the door and makes her way inside.
As she sets down her things, she realises everything was so unnervingly quiet she could hear the sound of her own breath. It was loud, quick, so clearly full of anticipation she pauses for a second to get herself together. It wasn't like her to be so unsure of herself, not when she was around you. Not in the comfort of her own home where it had taken months for her to fully accept the fact that no matter what mood she was in or how bad her day had gone you'd always welcome her inside with open arms.
Even when you'd had a bad day you were always willing to be around her. Your smile, whilst a little sad, still so genuine it made her thank whoever was above for bringing you into her life. Not only were you always willing to put everybody above yourself, you did so without consideration of your own feelings.
Perhaps that was why the sense of impending dread was unlike nothing she'd ever felt before, because not once in this relationship had you ever pushed her away. Been so quiet and so unwilling to talk.
Accepting your need for space, she walks past the closed bedroom door and makes her way through to the kitchen. She stands in the middle of the room for a few unsure seconds before deciding to make a start on dinner. If you won’t talk to her, the least she could do was feed you. You always love her cooking no matter what she makes, and she hopes the comfort of a home cooked meal would help ease whatever upset you were feeling.
In the bedroom, you were laid on Alexia's side of the bed, your body curled up small and your head buried into her pillow. It was soaked with tears, the material uncomfortably sticking to the skin of your cheek.
You didn’t think the word pain quite gives the way you were feeling justice. Oh no. It quite literally felt like someone had ripped your heart out of your chest before trampling all over it and shoving it back in. You were leaving Barcelona. Leaving Alexia. The word pain couldn't even begin to describe just how absolutely devastated you felt.
The second you had found out they weren't signing you for another season, it was as though everything around you had turned fuzzy, almost like the feeling you get when your leg falls asleep. An emptiness had suddenly filled you and it was so profound it made your chest physically ache. You hadn't heard a single world Jona after the fact. It was as though your world had stopped and in a way, it had. Your life in Barca, with Alexia, was no longer, and you only had your self to blame.
You should have been better. Scored more. Not gotten so many yellow cards. Done something, anything, so they would like you better and want you to stay. And maybe had they told you before the transfer window had closed, you could have at least tried to change their minds. But they hadn't. They'd kept it to themselves until the last possible second and because of that, there was now absolutely nothing you could do to change it.
You were leaving, and you had no idea just how you were going to tell Alexia without tearing your heart completely in two. You could hear her, if you really focused. The sound of ceramic dishes hitting the table and the soft thuds of her feet as she walks. She was cooking dinner, just as she does most nights after you get home from training if you don't opt to order in.
Most nights, you'd been in the kitchen with her. Sometimes sat on the counter and sometimes stood behind her holding her body to your own. You'd steal small morsels of food of whatever she'd decided to make that day and you'd pout playfully when she'd scold you for doing so. You could only imagine just how clueless she feels in there by herself, not knowing what was wrong or how to help. It makes a part of you want to go sit with her, just for the company, but the thought of seeing that beautiful, oblivious face, so unaware of the news you held simply made you want to crawl into a hole and die.
You can’t face her. Not yet. Not ever if given the choice but that simply wasn't an option. Telling her was inevitable, and you just had to accept the fact she might hate you for it despite it being completely out of your control.
You have no idea just how long you end up laying here for before you hear the sound of two gentle knocks against your bedroom door. They were barely audible, and you take that as an almost cruel opportunity to pretend you hadn't heard them. The door opens anyway, the sound of it creaking a deathly loud noise in comparison to the quietness of the room.
"Amor?" Her voice was a quiet, tentative whisper sounding so unsure it has you screwing your eyes so tightly shut in a futile effort to prevent anymore tears from falling. "Amor," the same soft footsteps you'd heard earlier make their way closer to the bed. "I made you dinner."
Silence.
Alexia softly clears her throat. "It is Pasta. Your favourite." She trails off hopefully, and it takes everything in you to remain still. You can’t face her. Not yet. You weren't ready.
Alexia wrings her hands nervously as she takes another small step closer to the bed. "I..." she hesitates, scratching the inside of her wrist. "I do not know what happened. Will you please talk to me?"
More silence, and you'd never hated yourself more.
"I do not know what to do" Her voice audibly trembles making the tightness in your throat physically impossible to swallow back. You could feel your resolve wavering. Just because you couldn't tell her what was wrong right this second didn't mean you can't let her sooth you, right?
"Bebé?"
With a deep, shuddering breath, you use every ounce of strength within you to sit yourself up and face her. She was standing just a few feet away from the bed, toes scrunching and un-scrunching anxiously against the carpet. Her hands were clasped tightly around her shirt, wrinkling the material as she squeezes and twists.
But what breaks your heart the most was the wetness staining her cheeks. She was crying. Crying because of you. Because you were too much of a wimp to simply tell her what was wrong. The guilt you were already feeling amplifies by a thousand, and you were forced look away from her before you well and truly broke.
"Amor?" She whispers unsurely, and you sniffle softly as you wipe your sweaty hands on your pants before taking a deep breath. It was a futile effort at composing yourself, but you simply had nothing else left in you.
"Will you-"
"I don't want to talk about it. Not yet. I can't." you cut her off, and Alexia swallows heavily before nodding her head. The overwhelming sense of dread that had once faded makes an abrupt reappearance at your words, but she tries desperately not to let it show. If she pushed, you'd push back harder, and she'd never figure out what was going on.
"Okay." She accepts in a quiet whisper, unwilling to do anything that might upset you further.
You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. "Okay?"
She nods.
"Okay." You whisper with a quiet breath of relief.
"Will you come eat?" She asks hopefully after a few seconds of silence. "I made your favourite."
The thought of food alone made you feel so incredibly nauseous you were forced to swallow back a different kind of tightness in the back of your throat. It pains you to reject her again, but you just couldn't do it. Not without ending this already horrible day with your head stuck in the toilet.
You shake your head. "Ale, I'm not-”
"Just a few bites?" She pleads quietly, hesitantly. "For me?" She holds out her hand.
You look up at her. You take in her wet cheeks, the unsure body language and the trembling fingers. You'd put her through the wringer tonight without even trying, and it was clear to see she was desperate for some sort of normality. Despite everything in you screaming to say no, you find yourself standing up and taking her hand. You were barely on your feet for two seconds before she envelopes you completely in her arms, her chest flush against your own as your feet hang from the floor.
Your bottom lip wobbles as she buries her head against your neck, your head dropping to rest heavily against her shoulder. It takes you a few moments, but your arms do eventually find themselves wrapping securely around her shoulders. At the feeling of you returning the embrace, she drops an arm from around your waist and hooks it beneath your behind, bouncing you up slightly so your legs cold wrap around her waist.
"I am sorry." She whispers, the words taking a few moments to fully register in your grief ridden mind. The second they do, you lift your head off of her shoulder and reach your trembling hands up to coax her face away from your neck. You were glad to see she wasn't crying again, but you could tell by the shininess in her eyes that it was taking everything in her to hold the tears back.
"No," you shake your head, cupping her cheeks and wiping the pads of your thumbs to rid them of their wetness. Alexia blinks, and you catch the first tear that escapes before it could fall. "No," you repeat. "You don't have to be sorry. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing at all."
Alexia swallows.
"It's..." the tears you'd been trying to desperately to hold back break free, and you make no effort to wipe them away. "I'm not ready to talk yet, and I'm so, so sorry that means you're being kept in the dark. I just need...a few hours. Just a few hours to process and then we'll talk, okay? I promise."
Alexia looks even more terrified as her grip loosens just slightly. "Are you...are you bre-"
"No." You're aware of how panicked you sound, but you needed the message to get through to her before she could fully mistake her assumptions for the truth. "No. I'm not. Not now. Not ever. I could never...no."
Her grip tightens around you again, and you let out a relieved sounding sob as you fall limp against her. You feel one of her hands lift to rest against the back of your head, and for a second, you allow to yourself to break; for her to comfort you, because after hearing what you had to say, it could be the last time she ever does so.
Alexia doesn't think she's ever felt more useless in her entire life as she holds you close, her throat burning, threatening the onslaught of tears. Something serious was going on. There has to be. She's never seen you this upset before, not even when you'd done your acl just a few months after she'd done hers. You'd been upset then sure, but you'd never shed more than a single tear in the year it had taken to get back on the pitch, and that year had been hell for both of you.
Tightening her grip around you, she turns in place and makes her way through to the kitchen. The two plates of pasta were just as she'd left them, though she suspected they'd long gone cold now. Knowing you wouldn't be able to eat despite saying that you would try and not particularly caring about her own meal, she passes the kitchen table and makes her way over to one of the free spaces left on the countertop.
She purposely ignores the burning in her arms as she eases you down and settles herself between your legs, feeling the way your crossed feet settle against her backside as her arms secure themselves tightly around your back. You were still in her arms, thankfully no longer crying if the lack of tears against her neck was anything to go by. It allows Alexia to relax momentarily for she knows things would sure turn south once you reveal what was making you so upset.
You pull away a few moments later, sniffling softly as Alexia tenderly cups your cheeks to wipe away the wetness staining them. You lean into her touch, eyes fluttering shut when she leans in and presses a lingering kiss to your forehead.
"I love you." She murmurs against the warm skin, and you're forced to once again swallow back your emotions as you take her wrists and press a soft kiss to the inside of them both.
"I love you." The unsteadiness of your voice was obvious, and you're grateful when Alexia makes no attempt at pointing it out. She leans in and kisses you, tasting the saltiness of your tears, and your hands desperately cup her face, not allowing her to pull away. Alexia's hands grasp your sides as she deepens the kiss just slightly, feeling the soft exhale you breath out through your nose against her skin. When you pull away, your eyes were closed, and Alexia takes this as her chance to really take you in.
Your expression gives absolutely nothing away. Nothing at all. Her gaze was still on you when your eyes finally open, brown irises full of an emotion you couldn't quite decipher. You tilt your head to the side, a silent question to which she nods in response to. Seconds later, the look in her eyes changes. Now, they were light, hopeful, willing for you to open up and trust her and god did you so badly want to.
"I am going to make you a smoothie." She breaks the silence, her hands giving your thighs a soothing squeeze as she steps out of your hold and makes her way over to your refrigerator. You watch her retreating figure as you let out a soft sigh. You still didn’t think you could stomach anything, but the thought of a smoothie was admittedly more appetising than cold pasta. You felt a little bad that the meal she’d cooked you had gone to waste, but seeing as though Alexia doesn't mind, you try not to either.
Alexia's eyes skim the contents for a few moments before she pulls out a few different fruits she knew were your favourite. She sets them down onto the counter next to you before heading to the sink and thoroughly washing her hands, allowing the water to run a little hotter than appropriate in a futile effort at feeling something other than complete and utter dread.
It doesn't work, and as she dries her hands, she wonders just how much longer she would be able to last before she inevitably breaks and begs for you to tell her what was going on. When she'd torn her acl, the fear she'd felt about not being able to play the sport she loved more than anything else in this world pained her more than she could even begin to explain. But the fear of losing you was a tenfold to that. Because yes, football was her world, but you were her entire universe so feeling this dread, this uncertainty and uneasiness was so, so much worse.
Softly clearing her throat, she forces a smile into her face and makes her way back over to you. You were in the exact same position, though now you were staring at her with pity. It makes her bristle just slightly, but she forces herself not to react as she grabs the blender out of the cupboard and plugs it into the wall.
The process of making both smoothies was done in silence. Alexia doesn't say a word, and neither do you. Soon, Alexia was back between your legs, a small glass in her hand that held the contents of your smoothie. You don't let yourself hesitate as you gently take it from her, bringing it to your lips for cautious sip. When it doesn't seem as though your stomach would reject it, you allow yourself a proper mouthful, a hum of content falling from your lips as you swallow.
"Good?" Alexia murmurs as her hands retake their place on each of your thighs, squeezing the flesh softly before her palms begin tracing gentle circles against the soft skin. You nod your head, holding the glass up to her lips despite the fact she had her own smoothie just next to you. The blonde smiles as she allows you to feed her, swallowing with a hum of content similar to your own.
You take turns in sipping both the smoothies until they were gone, Alexia setting the glasses into the sink to be washed later before scooping you back up into her arms. You welcome the closeness by allowing her to carry you through to the living room without complaint, her larger frame beneath your own as she settles comfortably on the couch. She says nothing as she slips her hands beneath your shirt to rest on the small of your back, the tips of her pinkies tracing over the dimples at the bottom of your spine, but you can tell by the look in her eyes alone that there was so much she wants to say.
It had barely even been an hour since she'd brought you out of your room, and whilst you still weren't ready to talk, you knew leaving her in the dark for any longer would be unnecessarily cruel. Unsure on whether or not she'd even want you near her when you found the courage to reveal the news, you slip off of her lap and perch on the edge of the coffee table instead, making a futile effort at avoiding eye contact as you wipe your suddenly sweaty hands off on your shorts.
You hear Alexia shift forward slightly until her knees brush against your own, her hands reaching forward to rest on either of your thighs. Your own hands circle her wrists, feeling the steady, consistent pounding of her pulse beneath the tips of your fingers. She doesn't force you to talk. She simply sits and waits, her presence alone a major comfort in a moment so anxiety inducing you felt as though you were only seconds away from throwing up.
A single drop of grief wells up in the corner of your eye as you swallow heavily, the small droplet of salty water streaming down your cheek leaving a tickling sensation in its wake. The blonde opposite you remains silent, but her hands slip down to the skin behind your knees, tugging them a little firmer against her own. Knowing it was now or never, you force yourself to make eye contact.
"I'm leaving Barça." Your voice was emotionless.
Alexia blinks as her hands freeze mid stroke against your thighs. "Qué?”
You swallow. "They didn't resign me for another season. I'm moving to Arsenal." The words felt like vomit on your tongue.
Alexia could do no more than stare as she feels the room begin to tilt around her, every sound becoming no more than a muffled echo. Her heart feels as though it had gotten stuck, each beat a sharp jab against her chest. Her mouth parts, but no words seem to be able to escape. She simply sits. Frozen. Like her entire body had forgotten how to move.
Your hands tighten around her wrists as the world around you blurs with the onslaught of tears. "I'm sorry," you choke out. "They only told me today and I...I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you." Panic gnaws at the edges of your mind when Alexia remains silent. "Say something. Please." The desperation in your voice was evident.
Alexia shakes her head as if trying to shake off the reality that was suddenly crashing down around her, her hands lifting off of your thighs and visibly trembling. She clenches them into tight fists, a futile effort for control as her gaze darts unsteadily around the room.
"I..." she has no idea what to say.
“Alexia?” You plead.
Nothing.
You feel an overwhelming urge to flee beginning to fester in the back of your mind as your hands tightly clutch the material of your sweater. Alexia's knees were still pinned on either side of your own, halting your inevitable escape. You were trapped by her, both physically and emotionally, and the longer she remains silent, the more your panic begins to build.
Your leg begins to bounce on its own accord; your heart races and it feels as though you weren't getting enough air into your lungs. A spiral of panicked thoughts keep repeating themselves, becoming more and more insistent as the minutes pass. Alexia hates you. Alexia was going to leave you. Oh god. Nausea swirls in your gut. You can't breath. Are you dying? You're dying. You have to be dying. Why can't you breath? Panicked eyes search the room for an exit. The front door. The back door. Which was closer? You didn't know. But you had to get out. You had to go.
A gentle, unsteady hand cupping your cheek startles you, and your head whips round so quickly you almost give yourself whiplash. Alexia was staring at you, eyes wide in alarm. Her lips were moving. But you couldn't hear her voice. Couldn't make out what she was saying. Why couldn't you hear what she was saying?
You feel your body move, steady hands beneath your armpits. They support the entirety of your weight as you were lifted slightly into the air. Strong, familiar thighs were soon beneath your own, your heaving chest pressed flush against Alexia's. She wraps her arms so tightly around your midsection you have no choice but to mimic her breaths. They were steady, consistent. You choke out a pathetic sounding sob as your heart continues to pound, your body unintentionally fighting her own.
But her grasp was tight. So tight you could feel nothing but her. She begins to rock. Back and forth. Back and forth. The motion was steady. Repetitive. You feel your chest loosen. Just slightly. Enough for you to breath. To get some much needed air into your lungs. The white noise in your ears begins to fade. You could hear again. Alexia was talking. In Spanish. You couldn't really understand what she was saying. But her tone was soft. Soothing. Warm. The pounding in your heart slows, and you can breath again.
You no longer felt like you were dying. Everything was quiet. Calm.
Alexia's body stills as your desperate grasp around her shirt loosens, your head falling heavily against her shoulder. Her lips press against your neck, dotting gentle kisses over the soft expanse of warm skin. You shudder a little at the sensation as you hunch your shoulders up to your ears, hearing Alexia huff out a quiet sound of amusement as she halts her affectionate attack. You feel her hands rest on each of your hips, squeezing softly before easing you away from her. When your eyes meet her own, you could clearly tell she'd been crying.
And Alexia had been.
It had taken a little while to gather her thoughts -and to get over the curveball that had been thrown her way- but eventually, Alexia had come to the quite obvious realisation that just because you wouldn’t be in the same country anymore didn’t mean your relationship was over. Long distance sucks, but it was possible, and there were many cases where it had been quite successful. Take Ona’s girlfriend, Lucy, for example. Lucy had left Barça nearly four months ago, and both she and Ona were closer than ever. Yes, being apart would be difficult. She was fully aware of that fact. But doesn’t the saying go, distance makes the heart grow fonder?
"That was a bad one, huh?" She murmurs as she presses her forehead against her own, and you could do no more than nod. Panic attacks weren't uncommon for you, but rarely does it get to the point where Alexia has to intervene anymore thanks to years of therapy. You'd learnt to anticipate the usual warning signs allowing you to talk yourself out of one before it could even begin, but that evidently hadn't been the case today for obvious reasons.
"Was it because of me?" Her hands cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping away the wetness beneath your eyes. Her touch was so gentle you could barely feel it.
You shrug noncommittally as you harshly wipe off your cheeks. "Not really."
"Not really?" She raises an eyebrow, and you sigh lightly as you tuck a damp strand of hair behind your ear.
"I just..." you trail off. "I guess I just panicked. You wouldn't answer me and my mind just jumped to the worst case scenario." You admit, hating the fact you were once again so close to tears.
Alexia's eyebrows furrow in confusion as she loops her arms around your waist. "What do you mean?"
"I told you...I told you I was leaving, and you didn't say anything. My mind jumped to the conclusion that that was because you hated me and never wanted to see me again." Voicing your thoughts out loud made them sound stupid, and you worry now that maybe you'd majorly overreacted.
Alexia doesn't seem to have the same concern.
"Amor, you really think that little of me?" She sounds more hurt than she does mad, and the guilt hits you like a punch in the stomach. You immediately shake your head as you attempt to amend the situation.
"Of course not," you insist. "But I panicked. As I said, worst case scenario.”
Alexia releases her hold on you for a short second as she rubs her hands over her face.
You can't help but frown. "Ale, I'm so-"
Alexia cuts you off cupping your cheeks and kissing you fiercely. It quite literally takes your breath away, and you have absolutely no time to reciprocate before she was pulling away.
"I love you," your mouth parts to say it back, but Alexia shakes her head, resting her pointer finger against your lips. You gently kiss the digit, lips quirking up into a small smile when Alexia plainly pokes your nose. "I love you, and whilst I am so incredibly sad you are going to be leaving, it is not forever. I will visit you, you will visit me.”
"But it won't be the same." Your voice was a broken whisper.
Alexia clears her throat softly as her eyes grow shiny with tears. "I know," she murmurs, taking both your hands in her own and squeezing softly. "But we will get through this, sí? You are strong, and I am strong. We will be strong together until we are no longer apart."
"Strong together." you mimic, and Alexia nods with a sad smile on her face. You attempt to mimic that too, but you find it difficult to do thanks to the way your bottom lip was trembling. The first tear falls before you could stop it, and Alexia blows out a shaky breath as she pulls you back into her arms.
Yeah, this was going to suck.
*
So yeah. Alexia loves you so terrifyingly much that she was willing to risk your relationship by being approximately nine hundred and twenty nine miles apart. You had faith you would be just fine, but a small part of you, way way deep down was sure it would end up crashing and burning right in front of your eyes. Long distance relationships were hard, and yes, you loved each other, but would that really be enough in the long run? Would love really be enough to survive who knows how many years apart with only the occasional visit until your contract at Arsenal ended?
You'd voiced your worries to Alexia who had been quick to assure you that whilst your fears were valid, they were wrong. That it was just your brain, again, jumping to the worst case scenario because you were anxious about leaving. She'd assured you that love was most definitely enough, so long as you communicated with one another which was something you were both thankfully pretty damned good at.
From that moment forward, you make the most of what time you have left together. You go on dates that last all day, visiting all the places in Barcelona you’d fallen in love with. You spend hours in bed, skin against skin as your favourite movie plays in the background. You even make the drive over to Alexia’s childhood home and spend the day with her family as one final farewell.
Your team was told about your transfer just two weeks before you leave, tearful hugs being shared with the ones you were most close to. Mapi had all but clung to you throughout the entirety of your last training session, Ingrid having to coax her into letting go when it was time to head back home.
You play your last game a few days later, playing the entire ninety minutes and scoring three goals with the assistance of Aitana. When the whistle had blown, your entire team had surrounded you, murmuring their praises and pulling you into hugs so tight you struggled to catch your breath. You tightly clutch the crest on your chest as your eyes skim around the arena, meeting the tearful yet smiling faces of the fans who were cheering so loudly for you it was the only sound you could hear.
This was it. Your time at Barça was over, and what a ride it had been.
**
Tags:
@codiemarin @goldenempyrean @girlgenius1111 @ceesimz @liloandstitchstan @xxnaiaxx @marysfics @alexias-putellas
#alexia putellas x reader#soft alexia putellas#alexia putellas x you#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femini x reader#woso x reader#woso community#woso imagine#woso appreciation#slight angst#happy ending
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Period Cramps
Requested By: @olivia-willo-w
Summary: The brothers find out (thanks to Satan) what a period is and try to help you through yours. The Seven Demon Brothers x Reader Word Count: 2,257
Periods are something that has become so normalized in the human world.
It's a natural thing that happens to women and it shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed about.
But, in the Devildom, the only other human you had was a male.
There was no one down there who would understand the process your body goes through once a month.
And that made it hard to talk about it.
You figured it would just be easier to keep them in the dark rather than try and explain it.
But, sometimes when you're on your period, it had a mind of its own.
You were having a bad cramp while at dinner with the brothers and you did your best to hide your pain.
But, Satan could tell you were in pain and he was worried about you. Not to mention, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to show his brothers how smart he was.
See, Satan was your resident human expert.
When he found out that a human was coming to live with him and his brothers, he read every book he could find about humans and when he was done with those, he grabbed all of the specific books about females.
He wanted to know everything he could before you got down there.
So, when you were having your period in the Devildom, Satan immediately knew what was happening and was well-versed in the subject.
You had all of the tell-tale signs - mood swings, food cravings, headaches, bloating.
Whatever symptom you had, it pointed to it being your time of the month.
There was a conversation already going on amongst his brothers, but Satan ignored it in favor of asking you, “Are you on your period?”
Everyone froze in place at Satan’s question and your face burned a bright red as all of the attention was on you. Who just asks a personal question like that?!
Satan didn’t mean any disrespect. The way it was presented to him in the books was as a natural, common thing that all women go through. So he didn’t you would have any reason to be embarrassed about it.
And maybe if he had approached you about it on his own, things would have been different. But he just blurted the question out…in front of everyone…in the middle of dinner.
Before you could even respond, Mammon asked, “What’s a period?” And your cheeks felt even hotter as you began to slowly sink down in your chair, wishing you could disappear from this conversation.
“You don’t know?” Asmo asked with a glint in his eyes. Of course, the Avatar of Lust would know what a period is. Considering the amount of human women he had probably met you were sure he was as knowledgeable as Satan was about it.
But there was no way the fourth-born would allow his little brother to take his thunder. “Allow me to explain,” Satan stated.
And for the next few torturous minutes, you had to uncomfortably sit there as Satan explained what a period was in vivid detail.
You watched the brothers’ faces go through a whirlwind of reactions until they were all left sitting there speechless and somewhat bothered.
“Well?” Lucifer’s question broke the silence and you turned to face the eldest. He was making eye contact with you and he continued to ask, “Are you?”
“Is that why you look like you’re in pain?” Belphie asked. “Wait, do periods hurt?” Beel questioned in response.
“Do all female normies go through that?” Levi questioned, his cheeks threatening to burn as bright as yours at the question.
Your cramps weren’t backing down and you were feeling more than overwhelmed at the sudden bombardment and soon everything felt like it was too much.
“I think I’ll skip dinner tonight,” you stated plainly before abruptly getting up from the table and making your way to the bedroom.
The brothers watched you leave, confused and worried about you. Was it something they said? Or was it because you weren’t feeling well?
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Lucifer was in a state of surprise when you left the dining room table.
He knew about periods, and he knew it was something female humans experienced.
But, it wasn’t something he had prepared for.
In all of the things that he had done and gathered to ensure you would have everything you need for your stay in the Devildom, that had somehow slipped his mind.
It took him a moment to gather his bearings before going to check on you.
He showed up to your room with a glass of water and medicine to help with your cramps.
He gave you a small smile when you gratefully took the medicine and allowed him in your room.
He looked a little lost, unsure of how exactly to help you. But, if you tell him what you need, he will move heaven and earth to make sure you get it.
You were his responsibility after all. He couldn’t disappoint Diavolo by allowing you to be in pain. And he couldn’t trust his brothers to do a good enough job.
Or maybe - just maybe - he wanted to be the one who took care of you.
Either way, he won’t leave your side for the rest of the night, and if you show any sign of discomfort, he’ll find a way to soothe you.
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Mammon was still freaking out about all of the information he had obtained that night.
Periods sounded awful and he couldn’t believe that it was something that happened to female humans - every month.
Mammon was trying to process everything when you left the table and that’s when his mind went from his own train of thought to you.
From all of the facts he was told, one stood out more than the others - you were in pain.
And Mammon was supposed to protect you, so he couldn’t have that.
He excused himself from the dinner table as well before quickly doing a search on his D.D.D. to find out ways to help you.
About a half an hour later, Mammon showed up at your bedroom door, his arms full of miscellaneous objects.
He had everything he could think of - a heating pad, pain medicine, chocolate, and your favorite snacks.
He wasn’t sure what out of those items would help, but he hoped at least one of them would.
He also offered to stay in your room that night and watch a movie with you, which inevitably ended in you falling asleep in his arms, while he held you close.
Mammon is just happy that you felt safe enough with him to let him help you when you’re in this vulnerable stage.
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It is a known fact that Levi panics in intense situations.
And you abruptly leaving the dinner table was something he would classify as an intense situation.
He didn't necessarily understand all of the intricacies of your period, but he did know that he wanted to help.
Levi didn't have any idea where to start, so he went to his default of bringing videogames and DVDs to your room.
You bit back a chuckle as you opened the door and saw Levi struggling to hold everything he brought.
You let him inside, grateful of the fact that he was trying and Levi quickly got to work setting up yours and his favorite game.
The fun that you were having with Levi was enough to distract you from the pain of your period cramps.
But that didn't stop him from checking in - quite often - and asking if you were alright.
Levi offered to get you food, something to drink, medicine - anything you would need.
And if you did ask him for something, he moved faster than you'd ever seen to get it back to you promptly.
He may not be an expert in what was going on with you, but he would do just as good of a job as any of the others when it came to comforting you.
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As stated, Satan was an expert on everything to do with your period before you even got it.
He didn't need to search anything up or refer to his books.
He figured this would happen sooner rather than later and he was prepared for it.
Like Mammon, Satan gets everything you need. But, unlike Mammon, it’s all already prepared in an emergency kit that he’s kept in his room.
Satan grabbed the bag and went to your room in a matter of moments.
When you opened the door, Satan offered you a brief apology about the events that occurred at dinner. He felt guilty about putting you on the spot like that.
But, he offered to make it up to you by helping relieve your pain.
When you allowed him in, Satan was as strict as a doctor, almost in an overbearing way.
He gave you the medicine to take and instructed you to lay in a way that allowed for the ideal positioning of the heating pad.
And even if it wasn’t the way you wanted to lay, when the heating pad started working, you were thankful for Satan’s expertise.
He stayed with you for the rest of the night, sitting next to you and gently running his fingers through your hair as he read one of your favorite books to you.
It ends up being much more comforting than you would have expected from the Avatar of Wrath.
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Asmo may not be like Satan or Lucifer in knowing all about a human period.
But he has had his fair share of experience with it.
And he’s a pro at rest and relaxation.
Asmo let you calm down in your room for a little bit while he set things up in own room.
He was sure you were upset at all of them for bombarding you at dinner like that.
But, he was hoping that you would let him help you anyway.
When he was ready, he asked you to join him in his room, and after promising he wouldn’t try anything risque, you agreed to go.
When you got to his room, you were met with an overwhelming aroma of essential oils and the sound of soft music playing.
The lights were dimmed so that the room was bright enough to see, but dark enough to relax.
Under normal circumstances, you would have assumed that Asmo was trying to come on to you, but he had promised he just wanted to help.
He led you to his bed and asked for permission to give you a massage.
Being the Avatar of Lust, Asmo’s knows the human body very well, and he knew every technique and every spot that needed to relax, and you felt all of your tension release and your cramps subside.
Asmo had a small smile on his face as you slowly drifted off after feeling relaxed enough.
He would always be there to help pamper you whenever you needed it.
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Beel was a bit confused when you left the table.
He didn’t really understand the gravity of the situation.
And so, playing to his kind and innocent nature, Beel thought something was wrong with the dinner.
He quietly finished the food on his plate before disappearing from the House of Lamentation.
When he came back, he went directly to your room with bags full of all of your favorite food. No one should skip dinner.
You had to keep yourself from laughing as Beel explained why he brought all of your favorite food and you invited him in to share the food with you.
Beel noticed the pained expression you flashed every so often and when you told him about your period cramps and how that was the reason you left dinner early, Beel wanted to do everything he could to help.
He immediately engulfed you into his arms, holding you tightly into him as his hands rubbed soothing circles onto your back.
You felt your pain slowly going away as Beel’s body warmth underneath you acted as a heating pad and his hands relieved any tension you were holding.
He might not know exactly how to help you, but he’s just as effective in soothing your cramps nonetheless.
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Belphie's help almost always came with a witty remark or some teasing no matter who you were or what the situation was.
But, for this particular situation, Belphie tried to be on his best behavior.
From what he heard, this was a hard time for you and he was certain the wrong remark would set you off.
So, he played especially nice.
He came to your room and asked you if there was anything he could do to help.
When you let him in, he asked a few questions about your period and got you a few things.
But, if that doesn't help, Belphie will escalate things.
When most people think of the Avatar of Sloth, they only think about him sleeping a lot.
They don't often recognize the power he had over other people's sleep.
And if you continue to be in pain throughout the night, Belphie will reach a point where he believes sleep is the only way to help you.
And it will be the best sleep of your life, full of amazing dreams to keep any pain of your cramps far away from you.
Naturally, Belphie will spend the night in your room, cuddling you.
But it's just to make sure you get a restful sleep the whole night!
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me x MC#headcannons#imagines#oneshots#obey me imagines#obey me fanfiction#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzbub#obey me belphegor#obey me nightbringer#obey me brothers#obey me writing#obey me scenarios#obey me levi#obey me belphie#obey me beel#obey me asmo#obey me mc#anime#fandomsxreader
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Eddie’s queer awakening Part 2 | Part 1
Steve doesn’t know what else to do to make Eddie realize he likes him. Never in his life has he had to work this hard at winning someone over. Never.
Even with Nancy in high school, there was always a hint that she wanted him to chase her, which made it worthwhile. Sometimes, Eddie will do something that makes Steve sure he feels the same, flirting back. Then Eddie will do something that makes Steve not so sure, laughing it off.
Steve doesn’t like resorting to bullshit queer stereotypes because he doesn’t exactly fit them either, but Eddie looks like those rugged guys on his posters and album covers. Sometimes it feels like a masculinity performance worthy of King Steve, but sometimes it feels genuine.
Eddie’s not dressing like Bowie, but he prances around on cafeteria tables yelling about sodomy and he’s never had a girlfriend that Steve knows of. He could like both, same as Steve, of course. Or it could be nothing, of course. Steve’s just putting all these moves on a straight boy, about to get his heart broken again.
Robin’s given him countless pep talks, assuring him that he’s right about Eddie when he starts to doubt it. “You sniffed Vickie out just from her VHS returns. If anyone has a functional queer detector here, it’s you. Trust it.”
“What if I ask him out and he rejects me?” Steve fully understands Robin’s worries now, it’s not the same as getting shot down by a girl. “I’ve got enough rumors about me already.” They all wanted to say it in high school, calling Steve a pretty boy in tight pants that spent too much time in the mirror.
Tommy used to shoot them all down. Now he’s not by Steve’s side, snarling at anyone who suggests it. Which was mostly just Tommy trying to convince himself that everything they did under the covers at sleepovers was “just guy stuff”, and he convinced Steve too. To the point where Steve hadn’t even considered any different until a few months ago when he told Robin and— yeah, that was an eventful conversation. The first time he stumbled across the word bisexual— from a Bowie interview in one of Robin’s magazines— it felt like something clicked into place.
“I don’t think Eddie’s the type to out anyone, either way.” Robin’s right. She’s not always right, everything would be easier if she was, but she’s right about that.
“I keep having to pretend to like his shitty weed to get him to come over. Not even the yawn and stretch move worked on him. Y’know, this,” Steve demonstrates, stretching an arm above his head and then draping it over Robin’s shoulder. She shrugs him off with a fake gag. “I kept looking at his lips and I thought we were gonna kiss, but he laughed and poked me in the ribs and called me dude.”
Robin listens to all his boy troubles and then they come up with a plan. Steve decides he’s going to come out to Eddie, just put it out there that he likes guys. In a totally platonic way and hopefully that gets the ball rolling the other way, where he tells Eddie he likes one guy in particular and hopes all his Romeo efforts don’t blow up in his face.
So he goes for it. Eddie strolls into Family Video and picks out a movie that Steve’s actually heard of for once. It’s easy for Steve to throw him a smile and invite himself over. “You know this is the closest thing to a romance movie you’ve picked? No way I’m letting you watch this alone, somebody’s gotta hold your hand through the sad ending, looks like it’s gonna be me.”
Several emotions fly across Eddie’s face, landing on overwhelmed disbelief. “I don’t get it, man. How do you not have a girlfriend? You’d be so easy to fall in love with. Hell, I feel like you've made me fall halfway in love with you already. If I was a girl, I’d date the shit out of you.”
It looks like Eddie wants to clap a hand over his mouth as soon as the words leave it.
Steve watches him carefully, trying to think clearly over his heart pounding in his chest because Eddie just said he loves him, kind of. This is it. “Would you still date me as a guy?”
Eddie’s nervous hands jingle with chain bracelets as they tug his hair and hide his face. “You mean, objectively? As a guy would I date another guy? I mean, could I want that? I hadn’t really considered that option until now. Uh. Shit. Wow, this is-”
“Because I would, you know,” Steve jumps to say, as earnestly as he can, needing Eddie to finally know. How could he not know? This is it. Steve didn’t come all this way just to tap out at the finish line. He goes for it. “I’d date you as a guy, Eddie. I’d date the shit out of you, too, just like you are.”
Eddie’s face is flushed now, his eyes wide and swimming with both questions and realizations. Steve snaps out of it for a second, looking around to see the store is thankfully empty, Robin’s still on her break, but this isn’t the place for this conversation.
“Wanna talk about it over the movie tonight?” He offers.
It moors Eddie, he relaxes more and Steve hopes he’s not imagining the faint hint of a smile. “Yeah, that’s— yeah, talk. I can do that.”
“Okay, it’s a date. See you then.” Steve hands over the tape, their fingers brushing and making warmth flutter all through him. He watches Eddie halfway trip out the door, running into it once and pulling on it three times before pushing it open.
Steve can’t stop grinning, thinking about later, determined to tell Eddie he’s already in love with him too.
#it’s hard work being eddie’s queer awakening but somebody’s gotta do it - steve#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#stranger things#rueswriting#mp
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So, request for the Obey me boys (main and side). When I'm emotionally stressed or overwhelmed, I get the urge to clean (especially if my space has been needing it). So, how would they react to an MC spontaniously cleaning anything and everything in that sort of state (Dishes, Floors, surfaces, their own room, etc)?
hi! sure thing!
i relate to this on such a deep level. it's when i get my best cleaning done LOL. having a crisis? suddenly the room is the best it's looked in months
posting this instead of spellbound because getting my car took much longer than I expected. spellbound will be tomorrow for sure :)
enjoy <3
Mc who spontaneously cleans
Lucifer
he may just have to marry you on the spot
his brothers aren’t exactly the cleanest bunch and sometimes he feels like he’s the only one making an effort
he might cry if he comes downstairs one morning and the kitchen is sparkling
Mammon
if he’s not the messiest bitch ever… no shade but there’s no way his room doesn’t look like it was hit by a tornado
however if he ever sees you cleaning he'll try his best to help
he will also try his best to keep things tidy to make it less work for you <3
Levi
I can’t explain it but something about him screams neat freak to me
but, this only applies to his spaces because it would be too much work
he applauded your efforts because more than once he’s cracked and just deep cleaned everything haha
Satan
he’s clean when he wants to be
and most of the time, he is. the only times he isn’t is to piss off lucifer even though he’s just going to drag him back to do it anyways
after seeing how hard you work, he never does that again haha. he would hate for you to have to pick up after him
Asmo
somehow clean but messy at the same time
he won't stop you if you want to go to town cleaning up his makeup pallets and what not
afterwards though he makes sure to treat you <3
Beel
definitely the guy that takes three plus showers a day lol
he always asks you to make sure he's picking up after himself though just in case
he appreciates you and everything you do :)
Belphie
if you think he's tidy, i am so sorry you are wrong haha
will complain about an area being dirty and then proceed to ask why you were cleaning it up
however he will thank you every time he notices you've tidied up :)
Diavolo
despite the fact that he has a whole team that cleans for him, he hates to leave behind a mess
so, he always insists you get him when you get the urge to clean
everything is better when you have someone by your side! besides, he'll take any excuse to be by your side
Barbatos
you know him, he’s incredibly tidy to the point that it’s almost impossible to find a mess in the demon lord’s palace
but in the rare cause you’ve beat him to it, he’s grateful since it’s rare he gets help
afterward, you’ll be having tea together, his treat
Simeon
he also seems like his things are always clean no matter what
it's almost like he's magic at the rate at which messes vanish
he will feel bad if he sees you cleaning, and will take over
Luke
both of his dads (simebarb sorry for kinda sneaking this narrative in here lol) are both neat people, so it only makes sense for him to be too
after all, he wants to be just like them!
if he catches you cleaning, he will instantly join in
Solomon
he seems like he would live realistically, not too dirty, but also not too clean
if things are a little cluttered, he's alright with it because it looks lived in
if you do spontaneously clean, he'll try his best to make it up to you with his cooking!!
#gn reader#headcanons#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me beel#obey me levi#obey me asmo#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me! shall we date#obey me! shall we date?#obey me solomon#obey me luke#obey me simeon#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos
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Hi!! Idk if this is against ur guidelines but would you be okay with doing hcs for aftercare w Jason Grace? I love your writing sm and I love my heroes of olympus boys 😔🙏❤️
ᬊ jason grace | aftercare headcanons
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☆ radiostar is playin': my girl by the temptations...!
warnings: sexual references, aged up (as everything in my writings) a/n: Heyyy, YES. this kind of content is accepted in my rules, which you can read here — rules. thank you sm for your cutie words 🥹🫶🏻 and thanks for passing by my blog! — kisses from Jupiter 💙
Jason is one of the best at aftercare because he's an amazing lover and boyfriend, no more to argue about.
Whatever position you end up in, he carefully slides out of you, not wanting to hurt you.
He's probably feeling a bit too much, just like you, so the first thing he does is ask if you're okay, without hugging you yet to avoid overwhelming you.
It's only when he sees that you're fine that he cuddles with you for a few moments while your breaths regulate and your hearts stop threatening to burst out of your chests.
And as soon as he feels a bit better, he'll be checking on you. He'll run his fingers through the hair on your neck and give you sweet kisses. "Are you okay?" he asks in his husky voice while stroking your bare shoulder.
It's so cute because he treats you like a delicate piece of glass after nearly breaking you in two and just telling you the dirtiest things, but you live for those two sides of him because damn, he's hot, right?
Jason always thinks about the type of aftercare you'll need depending on how you're feeling afterward. Some days he knows you need some time alone after reaching your orgasm and coming back to yourself, while other times you need to cuddle with him until you both fall asleep.
Jason has many things planned; for example, he'll have supplies ready, so after kissing your cheek, he'll put on his boxers and go get water or snacks for you. He helps you sit up in bed and brushes your hair away from your face.
He loves seeing your sleepy face and the sleepiness in it, as well as how flushed is.
He can't help but give you delicate kisses, trying not to overstimulate you again.
He also shows his concern in words, asking or saying sweet things like "Is my girl tired?" "You're so cute" "Come on, honey, drink some water."
He'll also ask if he crossed any boundaries with you. "Was I too rough?" You just shake your head, and he smiles.
"Come on, let's clean you up," and he carries you to the bathroom when you're feeling better. Literally like a feather, no matter how heavy you think you are, he can carry you.
Some days you both shower together, and other times he waits outside the bathroom while you shower. Maybe he'll be changing the sheets and tidying up the bed so you can rest better afterward.
You have your clothes in his place for moments like this, but still, Jason always prefers to give you one of his sweaters; he loves seeing you in them.
That man will cook for you and bring it to bed.
Once you're both changed, clean, and you've eaten something, you can finally cuddle up and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
Kisses and caresses.
Him humming while he strokes your hair.
You resting your head on his chest and him holding you tight.
Small "I love yous" whispered in your ear and hugs.
Until you both fall asleep.
This sometimes changes, but it's always Jason paying attention to your needs at that moment, because for him, you're his whole world.
#maría's shared dreams☆。゚✧#jason grace#jason grace x y/n#jason grace x you#jason grace x reader#jason grace headcanons#jason grace fluff#jason grace smut#jason grace fic#jason grace blurbs#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#pjo#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus
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hi, i had this idea for a while that jason is very s/o that thinks they're too hard to love (plus if they've never been treated right) x guy that loves them as easily as breathing</3
maybe I'm projecting and honestly thinking about it gives me a lot of comfort because I've never experienced something like that, and that's why I decided to request this anonymously, i feel a little ashamed T-T
too hard to love m.list | rules
pairing. jason x reader
note. hi! don't be ashamed it's fine to find comfort in this, and i hope my writing will help you get even more comfort <3
You couldn’t be loved, that was what you kept repeating to yourself all the time since your last breakup. Why? Because it was what everyone always told you. You had never, ever, been treated well before, but in your eyes, it was all your fault. You weren’t loveable ; you had your own problems which always ended up ruining your relationships. Your lack of confidence was probably the worst thing, you knew it, but you couldn’t do much about it. You tried, really, but everything just brought you back to this fact. You weren’t loveable.
Until you met Jason. The man was surely traumatized and tortured himself, but when he met you, it was like everything made sense for him. He fell in love with you in one look, and it was easy as breathing was for him. He knew the troubles you had believing it, but he never understood it. How could you think you were difficult to love? It was the simplest thing he had ever done.
It took months for you to accept to go out on a date with him. Not only you thought he was doing it to make fun of you or because of pity, but you also thought it was useless. A date for what? To see the disappointment in his eyes? You’d rather not. But after weeks of him asking you again and again, you finally said yes.
It went well, you couldn’t deny it. Jason was a sweet guy, probably the sweetest anyone had ever been with you before ; but it might hide something. it had to, you were sure of it. He spent months and months of yearning for you not silently until you agreed to go out with him, for real.
You were afraid, because you haven’t been in a relationship since so long ; and the last one surely didn’t end well. But Jason kept on reassuring you that it would be okay, and that everything would only be fine. He was enough of a sweet talker to convince you.
But the doubt never left. It never left the back of your mind, and even if sometimes it was easier, there were nights where everything was so difficult. Jason was out tonight, because the man was a vigilante after all, so it wasn’t rare for you to spend nights on your own.
Tonight was specifically rude for you. You couldn’t sleep at all, and after turning around over and over in your too large bed, you decided to leave it. You walked in the living room, going back on your own steps. Your mind was driving you mad, until you began to feel dizzy. You sat on your kitchen’s floor, your breath heavy. A panic attack. Great.
Your nails were scratching your poor damaged wrist, your eyes lost the void, not able to focus on anything else. You didn’t even realize the tears which were falling down your cheeks, until you noticed a broad figure in front of you. You looked up, only to meet Jason’s worried face. He wasn’t touching you at all, knowing it would overwhelm you more than anything else.
“Deep breath, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay,” his soft whisper slightly brought you back to reality, making you close your eyes to try to focus on him and nothing else. “That’s it, listen to me.” And it kept going for a few more moments until you were able to calm down at least a little.
Once you were feeling a bit better, Jason took you to the couch, making you lay down there while he was on his knees next to it, your hand in his own. He stayed silent for a moment, waiting for the right time to ask you the question that was burning his lips. “What happened?” He finally asked, and you took a deep breath, trying to explain it to him.
It was your own insecurities that made you like this, the way you were so scared that he would disappear one day because he had realized how difficult you were and how better his life would be without you in it. You expected him to frown, be frustrated, anything ; but it never came. His fingers reached for your face, putting a strand of hair away from your face with the most gentle touch anyone ever had towards you.
“Loving you is not difficult. Actually, it’s the easiest thing I've ever done. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my life, and if you want me to, I could make a whole list of everything that makes me love you so much.” You slowly looked up at him, expecting everything but this. You blinked a few times, before you simply nodded a little, which made him chuckle a bit.
Sitting down on the floor next to the couch, his fingers gently playing with your hair, he began to say one by one all the small things that you were doing that made his heart race like crazy. It made you realize that perhaps he really wasn’t lying at all ; and maybe you weren’t as hard to love as you thought you were. It would be a long path until you completely accept this, but you knew that Jason would be by your side during the whole process ; and it warmed your heart.
thank you!
#dcu#dc comics#dc universe#jason todd x you#jason x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you
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PLEASE do more storytimes of ur 15 days in ur dr 😩😩 like literally talk about anything, what food did you munch on, outfits, small details of your life that anyone else would find mundane but were so important to you... yap your soul away I BEG 🙏
✶ the basics of my shift to my better cr.
◞ when i shifted : september 3rd to september 18th.
◞ my time ratio : i went to sleep in my cr at about 1 in the morning (oh, quiet !!!) and woke up around 12 am. so i'm not really sure about the time ratio. it has always been 1 hour = 1 week, but i suppose it was different. time is fake. calendars are a conspiracy. moving on.
◞ where i shifted : new york. more specifically my room !! more specifically...... my mom's penthouse in fifth ave which looked absolutely the same as my pinterest board !?!?! uh I DID check google maps to find my house, only to find out that in this reality, it's a hotel ?!?!?! so. yea. kewl.
◞ backstory stuff : so, in my better cr i am basically me. everything is the same except that like everything's amplified. like i am me, but on dolby atmos surround sound with a slight film grain, ykykykykyk? my mom has a billion dollar worth foods-company (which primarily specialised in sugar-free and sometimes gluten-free stuff). she’s like if gwyneth paltrow actually had taste, and her whole brand is “eat like a decadent queen but without the sugar crash.” my dad, who is divorced from my mom, is somehow involved in auction houses & art dealing. not in a shady way, just in a “I inherited this Monet and I suppose I should do something with it” way. he’s always at Sotheby’s, slightly overwhelmed, always one step away from getting scammed. his great-great-grandma was like...a duchess in russia, and then fled during the russian revolution. so...that's that. i live with my older brother, who is very much a VERY GOOD (and i mean very, very, very good) tech bro who parties way too much and my mom. my younger brother lives with my dad in the west village. the custody arrangement was quite literally dictated by vibe.
◞ some of my friends : as always, i scripted in lily rose depp (she isn't an actress, though). our moms were really good friends, and that's how we met. when i shifted, i did gain some memories (!!!! and they were all so kewt) that we shared. i think my favourite one was when we were 12 and walking around galeries lafayette and just trying on heels. in chanel. and dior. heels that cost more than a small car. we were 4’10 and wobbling around, but we swore we were women of the world.
oh, and the most unhinged friend situation?? blair waldorf and serena van der foocking woodsen. YEP. so my better cr WAS inspired by gossip girl, but obviously i didn't want to be stalked n all, so i didn't even bother scripting them in, but my brain did it anyways. SO. yea. i even went to blair's slumber party (but like earlier, not during this shift). it was absolutely perfect. silk sleep masks. monogrammed pajamas. a slight air of menace, because blair is blair. i respect it.
◞ about loml, coryo : soooo, i didn't get to talk to him much :( cause we were at the rivals stage of our whole....saga. but, like, flirty rivals. the type where he would look at me in class like he was plotting my downfall, and i would look back like i was considering letting him. a classic. we didn’t do much !!! sadly !!!! although he DIDDDDD put his arm around me once !!!! when i was walking to classsss.sss/s/s//!??!?!?!?!?? so. YEA. hehehehehehhehe. ALSO. watched him play basketball......which was..........definitely not an out of body experience.
more important things !!!!
◞ food : okay. very important. let’s talk snacks. the cafes in my better cr are like little jewel boxes, and they make the best hazelnut croissants known to mankind. flaky. golden. would cause riots if taken away. also, i drank so many iced matchas i swear my bloodstream was 50% soy milk. my favourite meal was this ridiculous dinner at le bernardin where my mom and i ordered like four courses and just gossiped the whole time. opulence and secrecy, baby.
talking about my mom !!! on day 7 ish we went to louis vuitton for no absolute reason, and i experienced euphoria when we walked out there with new LV handbags. no special occasion, no nothing !!! (i start rioting cause i want to be back in my dr)
◞ outfits : what i wore daily was basically........MMMM. my closet was so massive. so so so so massive. and everything, and i mean EVERYTHING from my pinterest board was there. YEA, YEA!!! cashmere cardigans, tiny skirts, knee-high socks, vintage designer. most of my weekend nights were just me changing outfits. cause. AAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!
◞ small details : the smell of my apartment in the morning was always coffee and expensive candles. i had a balcony, which is insane considering it’s new york, but we move. i spent most evenings perched there with a book, looking over the city like some sort of melancholic heiress.
◞ school : st. lazarus international college (i am gonna introduce this one because i swear there has never been a kewler sckewl). yeah. the most competitive, the most exclusive, the most "if you don't know someone, you simply won't get in" school in new york. my mom basically donated a library to make sure i never had to worry about a waitlist. the building looks like an old château got plucked from the french countryside and dropped onto the upper east side, except it has a state-of-the-art technology lab and a rooftop garden where people pretend to study. the halls ARE buzzing. the classrooms ARE ivy-league rigorous. the drama IS constant. the uniform IS exquisite. crisp white button-downs, navy skirts, custom blazers with embroidered crests, knee-high socks, and a distinct air of inherited wealth.
◞ classes : philosophy was my favorite. not because i actually cared about the syllabus, but because the professor was clearly going through something existential, and it was just funny to poke at his worldview with hypotheticals that made him question reality. history was a battlefield, literally, because coryo and i sat across from each other. french? easy. literature? divine. mathematics? completely unnecessary to my future, but tolerable because my notes were meticulously colour-coded.
◞ social scene : so you already know about my girl lily-rose, but there were so many more. the usual suspects: the impossibly rich, the impossibly gorgeous, and the impossibly charming. social hierarchy wasn't rigid, but it was understood. there were the future ceos, the legacy kids, the ones who summered in capri, the ones whose last names could buy small countries. my niche was effortlessly magnetic. somewhere between the literati and the scandal-makers, sipping matcha lattes while discussing nietzsche, only to abandon the conversation halfway through to plan a party. the sheer drama of it all. the only thing that mattered was that i was KEWL.
◞ parties : iconic. thrown in penthouses, brownstones, luxury hotel suites when someone’s parents were away. they started with sophisticated cocktail hours and always descended into beautifully controlled chaos. champagne in crystal coupes, whispered conversations on private terraces, someone always ending the night dramatically (usually not me, but i did have my moment.......we'll get to that later). i attended two, excluding day 12-13 when i went to athens with my friend to celebrate her birthday (it was.....very fun. believe me).
◞ moments that i'll never forget : buying my first designer bag (chloé tote), gave coryo a nosebleed (i talked about that already but you know......so...wow moment), discussed halloween with my friend group (and then shifted right before it UGH), overheard a woman complaining about the declining quality of caviar. felt like i was in a tv show. rich people are SO weird. i felt like i was in crazy rich asians.
◞ books i read during my shift (literature is important!!!) : bonjour tristesse andddddd started reading ulysses.
◞ random things that made my shift feel real : the specific way my balcony doors creaked when i opened them. the sound of a coffee being stirred at my favorite café. a pinch i gave my forearm everyday i woke up there !?!?!?
that’s the shift report, lovies. let me know what else you wanna hear, cause trust me, i could talk for hours. cause i remember EVERYTHING. not every second, but, like, every hour at least. mwah xxxxxxx and thank god for self made this method that helped me do this like yip yip hooray !?!?
#asks#shifting#emmas better cr#reality shift#desired reality#shifting community#realityshifting#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting realities#loa blog#loa success#loablr#loass#loa tumblr#loassblog#law of assumption#loassumption#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shiftingrealities#reality shifting community#shifting advice#shifting diary#shifting ideas
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if tomorrow never comes
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pairing: carlos sainz x fem!reader
word count: 2.0k
prompt: ❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜. based on this request.
summary: in which you and carlos drift apart and the tension boils over on your anniversary.
a/n: i’m having so much fun writing these requests! thank you to everyone requesting :)
masterlist || be my valentine blurb event 💌
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“When do you think you can be here, Carlos?”
His voice is tight on the other end of the line, knowing that you won’t like the answer. “An hour. Ninety minutes tops.”
You want to scream out and repeat his answer back to him so loudly that he can hear from the balcony of your shared apartment. It’ll let all of Monaco know how ridiculous he sounds. The flight attendant’s presence at the other end of the cabin helps you keep your composure. “And you’re sure that’s it? One hour?”
“Yes cariño, I promise.”
“Don’t call me that when I’m annoyed with you.”
“Can’t help it.” Carlos smiles cheekily, you can hear it in his voice. You can’t help but roll your eyes, feeling that he’s not taking you seriously. Postponing time spent together, sometimes venturing into canceling dates altogether, was becoming too frequent for your liking. But patience had to be your strong suit dating Carlos. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah. See you soon.” You end the call abruptly, leaving him to a last minute business meeting while you’re sitting here, awaiting your boyfriend on the private jet he has abandoned. Then again it would only be considered abandoned had he shown up on time to begin with.
He’d returned home from training yesterday exhausted as ever, yet reassured you with the promise that you two would spend a few days on a quiet getaway for your anniversary. Just the two of you, alone together. A trip you’d been planning for weeks now, with the need to make it an anniversary you’d always remember. If getting away was what it took to get Carlos to relax again, to be with you free of any distractions from work, you’d do that.
Carlos regards his career with a dedicated spirit, diligently organizing his schedule to make sure nothing falls between the cracks. His training, his sponsorships, his future at Williams… As badly as he feels to leave you waiting, duty calls. A last minute Zoom meeting with a new sponsor held him back at the apartment for longer than he anticipated. While most people have already resigned themselves to the fact that they can’t have it all, Carlos Sainz is not most people. He’ll either have everything, or die trying. It’s one of the many traits you love about him. Your heart aches at the thought of it being what tears you apart.
“Champagne?” The flight attendant offers you the drink, one of two that was meant for your celebratory toast with Carlos to kick off your anniversary trip.
“Thank you, it’s been a long day.” The flight attendant gives you a sympathetic smile, watching you down the drink with no effort. If this keeps up, it’ll be a long weekend too.
–
Once Carlos finally joins you on the plane, his ask for forgiveness is difficult to deny. He brought you a bouquet of flowers so large they took up their own seat on the plane, and he hadn’t stopped showering you with love since he arrived. Something about making up for lost time, he’d mumbled into your ear when you questioned his overwhelming affection. The colors of the flowers tied in beautifully with your outfit; Carlos was sure to capture it with a few photographs.
His attention to detail was another thing that you loved about him, it drew you in everytime. When you’re together like this, free of the outside noise, you wish it could last forever. Always on the other end of the phone or outside the airplane window is something ready to whisk him away. Ideally, an anniversary spent with him would consist of a lazy morning making breakfast together, simply basking in each other’s company.
His company was hard to enjoy when you were barely experiencing it, now sitting alone at your anniversary dinner hours later. Your mood turned sour when Carlos excused himself to take a call, walking away from the table before you had a chance to express your distaste. The tension that had been simmering between you two was bound to bubble over once again as Carlos returned to your table with a guilty look, phone to his ear as he ended his call with his cousin/manager.
You didn’t bother to look up, taking your anger out on your meal instead, poking and prodding the food with your silverware. It was a delicious meal that did nothing to deserve a brutal assault by fork and knife, ruining its picturesque presentation.
“Mi amor, I’m sorry.”
“Did you know that the more you say those words, the more they lose their significance each time?”
He sighs, running a stressed hand through his dark hair. “You know the kind of pressure that I’m under right now, cariño. How much this year has worn on me in general. Please, I just need you to be a little more-”
“Understanding? Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.” You cut him off harshly, and the look you give him across the table is worth flinching from.
“You have. And I feel terrible, but it won’t last forever.” He attempts to soothe your worries, reaching for your hand. You don’t accept or deny his touch, you’re just still. It sends a shiver down his spine.
“You’re right, Carlos. It won’t last forever. You’ll make sure of it.”
“What do you mean by that? You think we’re going to break up?”
“I’m saying that if you don’t make time to nurture our relationship, there won’t be a relationship left! I’ve been here, Carlos. For you, for us, while juggling my own life and career, so don’t tell me it’s impossible. There was a time when you balanced it all before, when you weren’t working yourself to the bone because you decided you have something more to prove to the world.”
“I’m trying to balance everything, but it’s not always going to be smooth sailing. You know it’s not easy.”
“I know it’s not. I don’t need it to be, but I miss the days when you felt like our relationship was worth making time for. When I wasn’t the last of your priorities.”
“Maybe I miss the days when you understood that I’m not always going to be available for you 24/7.” Carlos rants, feeling defensive at how this time, the gloves are off, you’re finally letting Carlos feel the weight of the burden you’ve been carrying– loving enough for the two of you. Your pounding heart reminds you that it’s impossible to carry on like this. Something has to give. “Do you realize how much time I’m spending away from training to be with you? Is that not making time for our relationship?”
Tears prick your eyes in frustration, the air suddenly feeling warmer than before. Your nervous system begs you to get out of there, to leave the conversation before either of you say something you’ll regret. If it hasn’t been said already. “You still don’t get it, do you? I don’t even need any of this! I just want you! I remember the days when that wasn’t too much to ask for.”
Your hand has long dropped his, and Carlos’ eyes widen in panic as he watches you move out of your chair. “Amor, stay. Please, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Confliction moves through you like a strike of lightning, torn between staying to talk it through or taking a moment of space, after pouring out the feelings you’d spent so much time locking away. The last straw is when your waiter approaches your table, holding a small cake in his hands. On the top of it is a picture of you and Carlos together on your first anniversary, more content and in love than ever. A candle burns on the cake and wax melts down the sides, resembling the tears that wish to fall. Carlos’ eyes plead with guilt, begging you to stay and forget. Smile and pretend that right now, you’re still that happy couple printed on the cake.
Instead, you throw your napkin to your plate. “I need some air.”
–
Carlos watches you go, he doesn’t stop you. A timeout will do you both some good right now. He tries to tell himself that it’s not that bad. Couples fight. But he sits there, sullen, knowing that he’s fucked up this time. His heart burns as he stares at the picture of you two on the cake. It’s unbearable, and that little surprise he orchestrated now feels like a pointed joke at his expense. He blows out the candle and the light goes out. But closing his eyes won’t help his fear of the dark. Even he can’t run from this.
He finds you outside of the restaurant, sitting on a bench, staring down into the renewing waters of the fountain. It’s mesmerizing, the way you can drown in the sight and get lost in the calming sound. He slides his jacket off and wraps it around your shoulders.
“I’m sorry, mi amor. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just have a lot on my plate. But that’s no excuse to put our relationship on the backburner. I’m so, so sorry.” Carlos presses a chaste kiss to your temple, and feels comforted by how you subtly lean into his space. It’s a step. “I love you, and I’m going to listen to you. I want to make this better because there’s not a life for me without you in it. I need you, cariño. I want to be with you, always.”
“I’ve felt so disconnected from you lately and being here on our anniversary, reminded of all the happier times we’ve shared, I just… that scares me. I’m scared we won’t get back there if there’s any more distance between us.”
“I should’ve seen it sooner. The truth is, I am able to do what I do because you’re always there. You support me when things are up, when they’re down. When I lost my seat, when I got sick with appendicitis, when I won races… you’re there for it all. I took you for granted thinking that I could give everything I have to my career, when it’s you who deserves it.”
“You do give it everything, but I think you’ve lost sight of things a little bit. Usually you give me everything you have too, I mean the little cake with us on it… I love that you did that for me, Carlos. I’m only so upset because I love you too.”
Those words haven’t stopped echoing in his mind. He swears he’ll engrave them into his brain forever, as long as you’re happy. “Maybe I have been overcompensating a little bit, feeling pressure to make things perfect in my career. The year has been difficult, but I couldn’t have gotten through without you.”
You kiss his cheek, warming up to his affectionate words. He’s sincere, he truly means them. “You’re more than enough, Carlos. Just the way you are. Weathering the storm isn’t always easy but there’s nobody else I’d rather be with either.”
“Can we start over?”
“I’d love nothing more.”
“I have an idea. Should I throw my phone into the fountain, cariño? You’ll have my undivided attention for days.”
“Tempting, but no. Keep your phone dry, my love. Would you be opposed to going back to the villa? Enjoying the rest of the night in?”
Carlos wiggles his brows, as he recognizes that familiar glint in your eyes. One that shimmers with hope and longing. “We do have a pretty sweet cake being boxed up as we speak.”
“Maybe we can light the candle again? I promise I won’t leave the room this time.” Your hearts soar at the thought of blowing out your candle together, hands held as you make a new promise to each other. The past years together have been bliss and the rainbows have always shined through the cloudy skies. The next years together, you will wish for the same and even more.
“Anything for you, cariño. Happy Anniversary.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaving you with no choice but to cup his jaw and bring your lips to his. The cool breeze outside is no match for either of you– you’ve got your love to keep you warm.
“Happy Anniversary, Carlos.”
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💌: thanks for reading! reblogs & comments are very much appreciated :)
taglist: @marjorieswrld (add yourself here!)
#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz angst#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x fem!reader#f1#f1 fic#f1 x reader#formula one fanfiction#formula one#formula one x reader#cs55#cs55 x reader#cs55 x you#carlos sainz jr#cs55 x y/n#be my valentine blurbs
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