#sometimes i just need a little self confidence boost

[emily-e-draws]

drinker 🩸

(cause sometimes you just get the irresistible urge to redraw your art from 9 years ago)

[mitsua]

HUG?

synopsis: an s/o who likes to gives hugs and kisses randomly (1.15k)

🎧ྀི satoru gojo

this man couldn't be happier.

like seriously, you reciprocate his randomness on attaching to your hip from one second to the other? and smooch his cheek sweetly while doing so? he's in heaven.

the first time you surprised him, being already a couple since that gave you a boost of confidence on your plan, you felt him stiffen lightly.

you were at you're at your house so he had his infinity off of course—still, he didn't expect the affection so suddenly. you might've taken it a little personal and went to retreat your arms and apologize, a little shocked and disappointed that you've seen him start the affection many times before but maybe that's for some specific reason you guys had yet to talk about. until you felt his hands keeping in place your arms wrapped around his waist, cold hands as ever touching yours so delicately being in an awe state form just from your mere sweet self hugging him.

"hey now, you caught me by surprise but now i don't plan on letting you go!"

after that 'moment of weakness' as you'd like to tease him about it now that he's gotten more accostumed to it, he does look for you when you got your guard down and sometimes he just goes for a hug that turns into a cuddle session. but when he's feeling defeated or would simply like to hear you laugh, he'll start a tickle war.

"'toru! welcome home!" you greeted not moving from your spot on the kitchen stirring the pot as you heard your husband's keys shuffling for a moment and then open the door. however, you do turn around after some moments pass and he hasn't said anything which is so unlikely of him.

"'tor-" "boo!" he teleports right in front of you and starts tickling your sides and weak spots mercilessly, you—unable of containing your laugh and getting desperate for some needed air—don't really notice when you've gotten so close to the stove and duly ended up burning your arm.

"sorry sorry sorry!!!" satoru cried after hearing you whine in pain and went to take a look at your injury.

he swore to never tickle you ever again in the kitchen.

🎧ྀི itadori yuuji

ughh i wanna hug this man so bad

you never showed physical affection to anyone until you got close enough. that being said, when you've officially initiated a romantic relationship with yuuji, your hugs and kisses were a plus that you were uncertain to add in public at first.

that's why you kept on watching him all the time and as you gained more trust on yourself whenever you saw him alone in a classroom or walking by an empty street, somehow, someone would pop up and erase the idea out of your mind instantly.

thus leading to the following events.

it's been weeks of you wanting to start the physical affection with yuuji, even if you knew he'd never have a problem with you not openly admitting it, you were getting insecure that he might feel you're not reciprocating his feelings as much as you want to show him. so you decided to suck it up one evening you saw him at the street about to get something from a vending machine, you ran your way behind him as he bent down to pick his chips but felt yourself quickly being held in a headlock by no other one than itadori himself.

"hey! wow wait, (name)?! i'm sorry! i just gotta keep my guard up anytime in the streets ya'know? i'm sorry!!" he explained while letting go of you and adjusting your hair back into place. surprising both of you, you laughed, why would you ever think your boyfriend—itadori, would ever mock you for wanting to hug him? you laughed and he took it as apology accepted but still had his index scratching his cheek awkwardly in embarrassment.

after freeing yourself of that heavy insecurity that had been nagging you for so long, you hugged him, one arm of yours going up to hold him by his neck and the other one around his waist—fully embracing his warmth and beating heart with a calm smile plastered on your face and making him malfunction for a second until you kissed his cheek as well. only then did he snaked both arms around your waist and leaned down to be near your ear and whisper

"i really really love you (name)"

🎧ྀི megumi fushiguro

it was really hard at first to him to come to terms of how this is how you showed your liking, and soon love, for him. but the tenderness and such security you irriated unconsciously as you had your arms and legs around him while sitting on the couch, trapping him on place, made him feel really giddy on the inside and never ever thought about leaving his place in between your arms.

after some time in your relation, you've gotten a routine more than just surprising him with hugs—though you still leave him at loss of words when you kiss his cheek randomly—this is, whenever you have to say your goodbyes he'll wait at the front of whatever door for you to hug him and give your farewells 'til the next day.

so the day he started doing so caught you off guard instead, like imagine this 5.7 feet tall man with the face hard as a rock just in your way of getting out the door of the jujutsu school. like. "what?" you asked oblivious to his wishes. he didn't move nor say anything, expecting you to magically read his mind as always and figure out he missed your hugs.

"megumi?" you tilted your head in thought, you've gotten all your belongings on your bag already, what could he be waiting from you? you said your goodbyes and–oh. you giggled in realization, yes, you did understand his unspoken message and somehow reminded you of certain classmate who can't speak easily either. "never thought you'd like to hug as we bid goodbye 'gumi, i love it" you confessed softly. he melted in your arms and now did not want to let go again.

this brings us to the chaotic occasion he indeed did not let go of you for so long you almost missed a special mission assigned to you.

the director had told you he'd get your transport prepared for you to arrive on time. long story short, fushiguro didn't want to let you go as you did your traditional goodbye hug and as much as you tried to deny the affection or reminded him you had to go quickly, it only served him to squeeze you even harder.

after a reprimand from the professor, you learnt your lesson and decided to negotiate with megumi to have a whole cuddling day whenever a long mission trip dared close, wether it was yours or his.

"i love your hugs as well"

welcome to my new account lovely readers! hope you find whatever your pretty mind desires as i'll be doing my best to repost from my previous account and write more new content from the bottom of my heart to you! sending lots of hugs and kisses! my ask box will be open for any request you might have as soon as i post my masterlist, for now, if you wanna chat i'm open to that too! -mitsua

[gladiatorcunt]

- GUESS | XIII.

you wanna guess the color of my underwear, you wanna know what i got going on down there

cw: kinktober prompt (ass worship), yoga trainer!oikawa, fem reader, rimming, body hair, scent & piss mentions, light implied yandere, public sex (?), hinted possibly one sided iwazumi x reader, light dub con, mentions of fisting, implied that oikawa’s been into reader from the start, semi obsessive behavior, porno plot, self degradation, food play mention

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

“Mmh, just like that cutie, lift those hips up for me.”

You’ve been coming to the new yoga class that just opened up at the gym for a while now, a couple months a few times a week, you’re a bit of a homebody otherwise and yoga is the one physical exercise you don’t mind doing often. You like being flexible, able to bend your body in shapes and ways another person would have a harder time doing. And you’re not having sex, so any physically strenuous activity that leaves you sore until you’re put back together by your healing body does wonders for you.

Plus you like the way the leggings hug your well endowed assets, so do a lot of the men in the gym. You wear the form fitting workout clothes for yourself first and foremost, but you can’t lie that a little attention from afar (sometimes too close up by one of the trainer’s usually steps in to help you) boosts your ego. If there’s one thing in life you have to be proud of, at least you have your ass. Squishy and round, jiggles when you walk and never disappoints you unlike everything else in your life.

The same ass that’s raised high in the air in front of your yoga trainer, a more than handsome man in his late 20’s with wavy milk chocolate colored brown hair and a smug twinkle in his eye that’s connected to his smarmy always on his face (even when he seems pissed) grin. You’ll never forget the confidence in his posture, standing tall at the front of the class and introducing himself. Tooru Oikawa, just moved here from japan, his best friend owns the place so it wasn’t too much trouble to get hired, and SO excited to start this journey with you all!

You’ve stayed at the back since then, anxiety swirling in your belly when he’d make the rounds to correct your forms and check on you all. But he’d only pass by with a brisk touch to your back and a ‘good job’, maybe a semi solid pat if you were one of only ones who had a good form, and not to brag, but that’s been the case on more than one occasion.

Now you’re undergoing a little one on one session, he asked you to hang back, noticing you’ve been holding yourself back. You’ve never made much of an effort to talk to him and despite the fact that you’ve never needed this kind of focused attention, he’s been feeling a bit bad that you keep to yourself so much. He doesn’t bite you know, not unless you want him too.

It’s an odd flirtation, something you’ve noticed he never does with anyone else in the class. Oikawa’s attractive enough that you’d balk at him abusing his privilege to drown himself in quickies in the gym’s showers, as off putting as it’d be. But he’s very professional, chuckling at one of the older women making a pass at him and politely turning her down.

So you got in your own head and knew that since there was always room for improvement, surely there must be something he could help you with. So here you are, going through basic poses first before he pushes you into the more advanced ones. You told him that other than increasing your flexibility, you weren’t really sure what other areas would be best for you to get better at.

Oikawa smiled and squeezed your shoulder, no worries, he’ll walk you through a little assesment mini program. Since you mentioned not having done yoga seriously until now, there could easily be something you didn’t even realize needed to be attended to!

“Remember, we want to really feel that stretch, arch your back and lower your head. Breathe in, breathe out.” He instructs, settling a wide palm on your lower back. “That’s it, good girl.”

He’s so close, if you backed up to regain your footing your ass would press up against his bulge. Not that you can tell if he has one right now, but you’re kind of hoping he does. It’s just another part of the fantasy, that’s all this is, you tell yourself. You’re going to soak up the attention, make more small talk as you gather your things and leave, and sit at home suffocating your vibrator until your legs turn into jelly.

“Am I doing this right? My legs feel stiff.” You shift your weight from side to side, your hips gently sway, you could be too in your own head but having Oikawa’s pretty eyes scrutinizing every detail of your body is fucking with your confidence.

He hums, a trail of heat sizzles down your back as he slides his palm down to cup your hip. “If something seems off then it probably is, just widen your stance and put your feet further apart, loosen up your hips. You’re definitely a little tense, cutie.”

Okay so he’s definitely flirting with you, but you don’t startle and shoot back up so you can get out of here. Instead you internally cringe at the squeaks your yoga mat produces, adjusting your ankles to line up more with your shoulders. You keep breathing, in and out, letting your energy flow through your limbs as you maneuver them into the different positions.

Oikawa Tooru burns like a furnace in hell, you realize. Despite having a firm grip on your hip, he’s standing a respectable distance away from you as you bend over. You can still feel the heat radiating from him, his sleeveless muscle tank and his black shorts.

“I think that’s better. Sorry, it's hard for me to relax, I guess.”

“No worries, I totally get it, you do seem like the type to be wound up but that just means we get to unspool your thread and unravel you so we can get to the start and rebuild.” His free hand curls around your other hip, his thumbs absentmindedly stroke the crease where they disappear into your thigh.

This private coaching session is steadily becoming what you’re afraid of, and so horny for you could shoot off into the sky like a soda bottle chocked full of mentos. You didn’t notice when Oikawa got even closer, his blunt hip bones cradling your ass in between them. Could he just be weirdly, and grossly in most people’s eyes, friendly? Does he even see what he’s doing as being the tentative first step into fucking you in a public gym yoga studio?

“Um, yeah, thank you by the way. I’ve felt so much better since I’ve started taking your class, you’re a lifesaver even if I still have a lot to learn.”

“Oh, we all do, including me, believe it or not. I remember you from back then you know, so shy and fidgety, like a baby bunny.”

“You’ve really filled out too. Excuse me for saying this but I know this ass wasn’t always like this, so pretty and plump.” Toned hands drag over the swell of your cheeks, not digging in and kneading the globes, only ghosting their touch along the clothed flesh.

You subconsciously wiggle your hips, Oikawa’s breath hitches behind you, and that is perhaps the most monumental thing you could have achieved today. Flustering the man who gets hit on a billion times per day and gives it back tenfold, a competition of who can keep their cool, that’s how he operates in most things you guess. Like he’s always competing against somebody even if they don’t know, and he just has to win or it’ll be an ugly spot on his record. A record only he keeps and only he sees, but you sense that that’s more important to him than anything else.

“Oh, thank you. I just do a lot of squats every morning and every night after class, nothing crazy. Yoga’s the only other kind of workout I do consistently, anyway.” You're still in what feels like a perverted version of downward dog, briefly taking stock of the strain in your legs now trying to hold the position.

Oikawa makes a surprised sound, “Really? You have such a great body, I’m shocked you’re not a gym rat like me and all my buddies. Some people are just lucky, huh cutie?”

He says it, humble and charming, like he doesn’t also consider himself one of those people. Your cheeks heat up at the idea of a musclehead like Oikawa complimenting your curves, your chubby gathering of fat even in places some people would find ugly, your wideset bones and plush tummy.

A pin drops, “Alright. I think you’ve been in that position long enough, why don’t you go ahead and lower your knees into the table top pose, bring your head up slowly and remember to breathe. In, out, good girl.”

His hands guide your hips down, he steps back to let you settle your knees on the mat. You hear the foam sink behind you, he’s sort of kneeling too, halfway sitting on his legs, the backs of his feet facing the ceiling. Oikawa looms over you like this too, he has a presence you can be lost in before you actually see him, which you definitely can in the wall to wall mirror in front of you. The yoga class was a dance studio before Iwa decided it didn’t fit with his vision, you remember Oikawa telling you all on his first day.

He must feel your wide eyed stare, because he looks up too and suddenly you’re locked in a charged moment.

Neither of you says anything as his feather light touches on your ass become firmer, he’s outright groping you and pulling you back to be flush against his crotch.

He grinds his half hard bulge against you, keeping eye contact with you through the mirror.

“I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to notice me, cutie. Been wanting to do this for so long, you have no fucking idea.” He huffs, adjusting his clothed cock to rest between your cheeks. “You’re so hot, every time I saw you bend over I wanted to cancel class and take you right then and there.”

You gasp and rock back into him, shaking your hips and digging your knees into the mat. You have half a mind to look around the room for the camera and porn filming crew but reality is clearly stranger than fiction, your hot yoga trainer’s stiff cock is sandwiched in your ass crack.

He takes his sweet time dragging his length up and down, the tip catches in the divot of your leggings where your hole is, you’re a little disappointed that he’s not humping you like a rutting dog but you suspect that that’s part of the fun. Oikawa knows you want him so bad that he’ll restrain his urge to fuck you through the floor all the way to the center of the Earth just so you can endure some teasing. You’re so shy and withdrawn but those girls are usually the best kinds of freaks, all he’s doing is bringing it out of you, call it another one of his famous coaching methods.

The door’s locked, so if Iwazumi catches on to what’s happening and tries to rain on your parade, he’ll have to listen to a symphony of moans and slick sounds of bare sweaty flesh slapping against bare sweaty flesh. Oikawa laughs and tells you that Iwa’s been eyeing you too, when you check in at the front desk, when you’re getting water, when you head into the changing rooms to get ready for his class, it’d be helplessly cute if you weren’t already taken. Or, you’re gonna be, at the very least.

“When we’re done, I'll clean you up with my tongue and we can go on a little date. I can take you out properly this weekend but I'd hate for you to think that I was just trying to hit and quit it. I’m not the type to pump and dump, not anymore.” He speaks into the divide of your ass cheeks, having sunk to floor fully and doing some bending over of his own to be at eye level with your lower half.

You bite your lip when he starts nipping at you through your leggings, he smiles into the fabric and bites down harder, soothing the sting with slow licks. Oikawa kisses all over the swell of your behind, sniffing the scent of your perspiration and your body oil in between, medicinal vanilla and natural musk. You can see him hump the mint green yoga mat as he reaches up to hurriedly tug your leggings down enough to expose your ass. Your black thong frames it perfectly, but Oikawa pulls them off too and stuffs them under the waistband of his shorts.

He groans at the sight of your bare skin as it bounces free to say hello, taking a handful of each cheek and squeezing the life out of them, the thick flesh bulges between his fingers so he swiftly smacks each one, for tempting him and making his cock so hard it could explode into a blood filled mess of cum and sticky pubes in his pants. You cry out, rocking forward only to be immediately pulled back so he can keep kissing your ass.

He dotes on it like he would your face or mouth, almost giggling before and after quick pecks that develop into long slurps at your rim. He runs the tip of his nose over the hair on your crack, wetting it in messy swipes of his tongue.

“You taste so fucking good, baby, better than pastry i’ve ever had, and believe me, you don’t even want to know how much money i spend at the bakery across the street from my apartment. You’d love it.” He moans, saying hello to your winking hole by dotting barely there kisses right in the center before toying with you, dipping the tiniest bit of his tongue in your walls, then dragging his saliva all over your pucker. “It’d be fun to eat something off you, we could make a date out of it. Go up to the counter and pick which ones would taste the best when I eat it off your fat ass, but I think they’d all be amazing, don’t you?”

You nod rapidly and throw your ass back on his tongue, burning in shame with every smug laugh and grunt as Oikawa beats around the bush so to speak, doing everything under the sun with your ass but properly eating it. You wish you were in your shitty apartment, sitting on his face and drowning out the sound of your arguing neighbors with your slutty moans. He looks up from behind you to check on how you’re doing, and thank heavens because he finally buries his face in your ass and slurps at your puckered hole.

You lose yourself to the experience, feeling his wet tongue fuck into your ass hole and carve out little pieces of you for himself. He pays zero attention to your pussy, which is why it’s so wet and dripping onto the mat beneath you, it’s like he’s too obsessed with your thick globes to even notice, but you don’t hate it. It’s hot to have a guy be eye socket deep in your ass but also have him neglect where you really need his attention, there’s a dichotomy between being the mousey way you’ve gone about your life and the whorish behavior this man is urging you to consider.

You looked fucked out already, hair all over the place from how much you’ve messed with it and lips dropping open on drawn out squeals and whines. Oikawa is eating your ass out like it’s his main job, the one he puts in overtime for and goes above and beyond to be employee of the month at. He thrusts his tongue a few more times before apparently deciding that’s not enough and slipping in one of his absurdly long fingers alongside it.

You whimper, clenching around both as you just sit there in that damn table top pose and let a man you barely know play your ass like a well oiled fiddle. He shakes your cheek in his hand as he digs his tongue into you, delicately fingering your hole until it goes slack enough for him to insert another. You’re impossibly tight, as much as your clit is howling for it you know perfectly well that any serious penetration isn’t possible. From the impressions you got, Oikawa’s packing enough to tear you until you bleed if you don’t use lube or prep thoroughly beforehand, which you’d do anyways but it’s a shame.

Your clit throbs painfully but Oikawa pulls back with a gulp of air to level you with a warning look in the mirror, which only gets you wetter, you twitch again because he’s one of those. There’s a brief flicker of defiance, you could pout and touch yourself anyway, you don’t owe this ridiculously attractive man anything and he’s the one motorboating your ass cheeks and not the other way around, so shouldn’t you be the one in charge?

Then his eyes darken, you get another sharp smack and you table the discussion for some far off occasion.

Oikawa smiles, gently kissing the apple shaped swell of both of your cheeks, “See, I know from your time here that you can be such a good listener, you’re so sweet for me, I know it. You can’t hide that from me just because you want to throw a fit, I said we’d get to know each other afterwards, didn’t I?”

You scoot your ass back in apology, silently begging him to get back to it. He must really be horny too because he dives straight back in, groaning into your rim and french kissing your hole. The hand not doing its best to push its entirety into you kneads your fleshy ass cheek, molding it like dough and separating it from its twin, giving him easier access to your pucker. He ‘tsks’ not even a second later, crooking his two fingers and letting go off your cheek, humming in contentment when it bounces against his face and he’s smothered again.

He wonders if you’ll let him fist you, give you a unique one of a kind rose to swoon over and keep tucked away inside you later, the perfect first date gift from your future boyfriend.

You can even do couples yoga in the morning after your first night together!

“Let’s see if you can cum just from getting your ass played with.” Punctuated by a fourth finger sliding into the knuckle in your ass, he scissors his fingers to stretch you out and playfully acts like he’s gonna sink his whole fist in, pulling out his fingers to curl them into a ball.

The barest hint of blunt pressure on your hole sends a flood of your juices down his arm, smelling somewhat pissy which gives Oikawa truly the most impish grin imaginable.

[gothghostiie]

Hiii!! What about a reader who is very self conscious of the way she looks so the 141 boys (one, any, all?) fuck her in front of a mirror so she can see what they see? Eye contact encouraged!

I've sent a bunch of anons before and love how you write ❤️

ahh, thank you!! I always love finding out who my anons are :3 🫶🏻

cw: bondage, hair pulling, light edging

Ghost understands it, he really does. he feels the same way for himself, but for you? God, in his eyes you're perfection. he can't even comprehend how you see anything else besides pure and utter beauty. but who says he shouldn't show you what you're missing? sits down on the ground with you, in front of the mirror. chest pressed against your back while he puts you into almost a full nelson, making sure you watch very closely as he sinks you onto his throbbing cock. "see that, love? all pretty, 'n all mine.." stares at your face in the mirror while he bounces you on his cock, corrects you every time you dare look away or close your eyes.

Gaz feels similar about you, he could worship you for hours if you'd let him. he admires everything about you, but when youre sprawled out underneath him? heaven. he can't believe how someone like you could be insecure about their looks, when this is what he gets to see of you. he wants to show you so badly, taking time to put up a mirror by the bed, mood lightning and everything to get you relaxed before he fucks you from behind, hands on your hips - or pulling your hair if you try and look away for too long. he makes eye contact whenever he can, grinning at you. "see how pretty y'look? god, you're bloody gorgeous.."

Soap is more teasing and maybe a little mean in his approach, but he means well. if he hears you say something along the lines of being insecure he showers you with compliments and dotes on you - not just to make you feel better but because he doesn't see what you see. anything you find imperfect is another reason to love you (and fuck you a little harder). keeps warning you to not talk bad about yourself - if he catches you even looking in the mirror wrong he shows you what he warned you about. tying you up in a chair, him sat between your spread legs, hands and tongue working their magic - pulling away every time you look away from the mirror.

Price isn't very fond of you being insecure. he wont deny that you have imperfections, but that doesnt mean he doesn't like them - he fucking loves them. keeps telling you how much he adores them, even focusing on some of your insecurities while fucking you sometimes in hopes to make you feel less insecure. if he feels like you need a major confidence boost though, he'll fuck you in front of a mirror. props a chair up in front of it, pulling you in his lap and holding onto you, thrusting up from below while making eye contact with you, obscene grunts falling from his lips along with muttered words about how pretty you are.

[honeytonedhottie]

fostering and living out confidence⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁🍬

CONFIDENCE ANALOGY ;

think of unshakable confidence as a fragrance, there are three layers to fragrance, the base note, mid note and the top note. thats what makes the fragrance stick and creates the scent we love so so much. confidence is similar in that way, its not just a mask or a front, at least not authentic confidence.

SOOO after thinking of this analogy im going to structure todays post like that, just to keep things simple and easy to apply. anyways, lets talk about confidence…💬🎀

BASE NOTE ;

the base of self confidence is self love. period. you can think of a billion other ways to say this but the base will never change. the base of ur self confidence is how much you love yourself. so how do we get a strong base? a strong foundation of self love thats gonna make sure that our self confidence remains intact?

start treating yourself like someone that u care about. treat urself like you would a friend, would you criticize them harshly for every mistake? would you tear them down when they’re struggling? no, you’d encourage them, remind them of their worth, and help them grow. now it’s time to do that for yourself. cuz why are u treating others better than u treat urself?

a really important aspect of self love is FORGIVENESS. forgiving yourself and having compassion for yourself cuz we hold ourselves to such a higher standard then we do others, especially if you're a perfectionist. and that can become really toxic, really quickly.

MID NOTE ;

the mid note of self confidence is trust in yourself. it’s the belief that you can handle whatever life throws your way. it’s knowing that even if you stumble, you’ll figure out how to get back up. its knowing that YOU'LL HAVE UR BACK even if others dont. we can build up our self trust by...

♡ doing what we say we'll do

♡ following thru on promises made to ourselves

♡ practicing self discipline

♡ trust ur gut feeling

♡ say no when u dont want to do something

some words that u can add to ur vocabulary to be more confident and advocate for urself properly is "absolutely not" or simply NO. theres so much power in the word NO so make sure to use it more…💬🎀

♡ honor your feelings and honor your wants + needs

self confidence is the mid note of confidence because without self trust, ur confidence wavers because you’re constantly second guessing your abilities and choices and thats not sustainable at all. you have to know and TRUST that ur that girl. bcuz u are.

TOP NOTE ;

the top note of confidence is how u express yourself. its the top note because thats what radiates outward and its how the world notices u first. self expression is how you own ur individuality, how you voice ur own opinions. how u express urself AUTHENTICALLY. in essence, self-expression is about living boldly and unapologetically as you. because isnt it so freeing to just be who you are? now what are some ways we can cultivate our self expression?

♡ having creative outlets

♡ exploring ur interests

♡ having ur own personal style, signature, brand etc

♡ journalling

GET COMFY IN UR OWN SKIN ; 

i feel like the most confident people are dancers. i feel this way cuz of the way my own confidence SKYROCKETED after i started dancing. i feel like dancing gives u a sense of control over ur own body and its just amazing.

whenever i feel like i need a little boost of confidence or i wanna feel sexy and good in my own skin i DANCE. and i promise that it helps so so much. i dance around in my room in my panties all the time and it’s like therapy. 

embarrassment does NOT exist, stop making urself feel awkward or embarrassed for making mistakes sometimes, learn to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

ALTER EGO CONCEPT ;

an alter ego is a persona you create—someone you embody when you need to channel certain traits, strengths, or energies that you might not fully feel in your everyday self…💬🎀 

using an alter ego is super helpful when it comes to confidence because it helps u to detach from ur insecurities. you temporarily set aside your fears and limitations and adopt the mindset and behaviors of your alter ego.

using alter egos can even help u to access different strengths that u never knew u had because ur removing the limitations that u place on urself. lets talk about how to create an alter ego.

HOW TO CREATE AN ALTER EGO ;

first start off by identifying the traits that u want to have, then give ur alter ego a name and an identity. u can even go as far as to visualize ur alter ego, anchor them with symbols, and practicing embodying them. some examples of people who used the alter ego concept include beyonce with sasha fierce, and kobe bryants black mamba.

[mrmoldavite]

The Main Synastry Overlays & Aspects That Drove My Attraction to Approaching and Speaking to Random Women.

This year, I set myself a mission: to cold-approach every woman that I found attractive—no matter the setting, be it the gym, shopping, public transport, or elsewhere. If your energy drew me in, I wanted to talk to you.

After having established a connection, I’d then dive deeper and analyse our synastry through birth charts.

Here are the key trends I’ve noticed when it comes to attraction and astrology:

1st House Synastry (Time Stops Because We Stand Out)

Immediate and noticeable attraction. Walking into a room and noticing each other felt like entering a spotlight together—undeniable chemistry, as if we existed in our own bubble. We looked good together, Magnetic and undeniable chemistry. Sometimes a little Ego clashes.

2nd House Synastry (Boosted Self-Esteem)

Mutual respect & validation and a sense of value; just talking to each other made us feel confident and seen. Didn't tend to feel a crazy romantic attraction, just more like we're chill with one another. A person you'd smile at, say hello, small talk and wish each other well. Two people simply enjoying each other’s company and building each other up.

5th House Synastry (Energetic, Childlike, Fun Connection)

Vibrant. Fresh. Exciting. Conversations effortlessly turned playful and light-hearted, like our inner child had known each other for years. Felt like a burst of creative energy. Fun, spontaneous dates like bowling, cinema, mini golf, funny conversations over a quick meal. Fun and subtle sexual tension. Situationships or Quick causal light hearted fling.

8th House Synastry (Magnetic Intensity)

Chemistry so palpable, everyone in the room seemed to feel it. Our connection hinted at something primal and raw. Intense sexual tension behind our eyes. Thinking "just you wait and see what I'll do to you". Wanting to f*ck each others souls. Watching each other across the room like a Lion stalking its prey. Can be too intense for those not used to 8th House energy.

11th House Synastry (Instantaneous Friendship Vibes)

The vibe was casual, but deeper connections brewed beneath the surface. We felt like best friends immediately. In the gym for instance we might have ended up working out together, sharing laughs and light conversation. Everything felt easy and natural, with a good surface-level connection that hinted at a deeper, more meaningful bond underneath. Friends with benefits.

12th House Synastry (Past Life Soul Recognition)

I’d feel an inexplicable familiarity, drawn in as if we’d crossed paths in another life. There was depth and intrigue beneath our words. 12th house isn't just hidden enemies seems like people forget that it can also mean a deep feeling of unconditional love for one another. Especially when you're both spiritual beings that have done spiritual inner work. There's no words needed between each other, just an instant subconscious understanding of one another. Eyes are the window to the Soul. Seeing & feeling the spiritual love emanating within each other beyond our physical vessels.

Moon Conjunct Venus (My Moon in Virgo or Venus in Pisces)

Emotional connection blended with admiration. We found ourselves naturally caring about each other’s feelings, even if we’d just met. The kind of tenderness you feel when you see a dog or cat, you just think "awww let me pet you". Naturally supported & fulfilled each other emotionally, with little effort, creating an immediate sense of comfort and trust.

Ascendant Conjunct Venus/Mars (Attention Drawn)

The way we noticed each other was magnetic. My presence caught their eye, and they instantly held mine. It was like a beacon of light drawing us together. The way I moved, spoke, and carried myself seemed to be exactly what they were looking for—and they had the same effect on me. Every glance I'd take of them felt significant, making it hard to look away from.

Sun Conjunct Venus/Mars (Captivating Aura)

Our energies combined in a way that others could sense. I became more aware of my own glow and theirs. Our conversations and laughter seemed to light up the entire room. They saw how my Ego expresses itself as ideal match. Naturally we fit together.

Venus Square Pluto (Intensity)

Strong, transformative attraction that felt like a challenge to resist; conversations and eye contact were magnetic. Feel like I have this aspect with so many people because of my Venus in Pisces in a generation of Pluto in Sagittarius. The Pluto person loves how gracious my Venus placements is, the square makes them feel obsessive, intense and drawn to me. They want to own me.

Lilith in 1st, 5th, 7th, & 8th House Synastry:

A sense of forbidden attraction and untamed energy, manifesting in bold stares and raw authenticity.

1st House; My physical appearance & self expression is just raw and irresistible to them.

5th: Can't get enough of each other. Lots of fun together.

7th: Lilith energy just feels like a perfect fit. What you didn't know was missing.

8th: Knowing how to tap into each others hidden sexual desires. Insatiable.

Conclusion

I won't even front this little experiment/journey of cold-approaching beautiful women and then being able to explore the synastry aspects has been very insightful and has shown me how astrology definitely reflects the connections we feel with others.

Each encounter I had, whether it be brief or deep, has revealed unique chemistry, patterns of attraction and has vastly deepened my real world understanding of astrology aspects.

It’s not even just about charts; it’s about experiencing real connections in the moment. How fascinating it is to be able to experience certain types of bonds and then have the feelings backed up by astrological patterns.

The moments I've experienced have remind me of how the universe aligns energies and paths in such mystical way!

I hope this post was informative.

(P.s. I'm 6'3, have an 8h Venus, Leo Rising & Aries Stellium. My aura and confidence is powerful, which is why I am able to get a lot of attention from women). 😏😉

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

I WON'T TELL IF YOU WON'T

KINKTOBER DAY 6 - PROFESSOR AU WITH CILLIAN MURPHY

Pairing.| Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

Summary.| You’re Professor Murphy’s star student and play on his obvious obsession with you. But when he eavesdrops on a secret of yours, he has to mark you as his.

Warnings.| Dubcon, noncon, head f!receiving, groping, manipulative, blackmail, Cillian a creep.

Word count.| 2.6k

You were a teacher’s pet. It was in your female nature to grovel to those men in power. Your future depends on it hence why you need to take every opportunity you could. Professor Murphy, your literature teacher had a spellbinding fixation on you. You were his unsaid favorite student. You knew Mr Murphy had the hots for you from day one. It was a different kind of confidence boost you craved everytime you walked into his class. 

It was a dirty pleasure of yours, being a tease. It’s common for you to act in such a way, many other women do. Women desire male attention to feel validated, to feel good about themselves. A lot of the time it’s based on their raising, a lack of parenthood as an example. 

Mr Murphy would bend at the knee for you. He always had your best interest in class. You’d receive extra help from him without asking. He’d reply to your emails in a snap. Your little mistakes on your assignments would also go unnoticed by him. In return, you dressed flatteringly for him. Short skirts and cleavage showing every lecture, just for his ogling eyes. 

Flirting with him was a piece of cake, and he licked his lips clean every single damn time. Sometimes you’d brush your fingers over his. Grab onto his shoulder as you leant over him to point something out. But who really gave a shit. He pretended to be too much of a gentleman to bring to light your subtle advances, but really he was too horny to brush away those opportunities. It made him miss his youth a bit too much.

But one day you made the dumb decision of being too open in front of your professor. An urge inside of you wanted him to hear - because you knew he was already listening - that you were still a virgin. Your tongue dript of so much dignity, pride and amour propre that it would be considered a slipping hazard. A rush of adrenaline clouded your logical judgment. It’s normal to act with emotions over maturity, even at your age.

Of course your eyes have seen a couple of cocks in your life. Your hands and mouth have touched them, but you refused to a man touch you, let alone fuck you. Truth was, you were iffy with having a man inside of you. Someone touching you in that manner made you feel dirty. The longer you waited from puberty, the less you desired to do it. Your self-esteem ended up relying on your state of virginity.

When his class was dismissed, Professor Murphy couldn’t pull out his aching dick quick enough as he fisted himself behind his desk. Quicker than anticipated, he spurted out his white seed against the draw as he panted heavily, his chest heaving. He grumbled your name over and over, craving you to be underneath him.  

His mind was a drawing board on how to devour you. There were so many possibilities, but all could have severe consequences if he acted through his primal needs. But now, Professor Murphy knew that he had to act quick. A fellow classmate has captured your attention. William was kind, funny, considerate, and promising. Not to mention, a great kisser. But you were still too subconscious to let him touch you that explicitly. You started sitting next to him in class, he was distracting you a lot. Your attention on Mr Murphy lowered. Do you wonder how Mr Murphy felt?

His blood boiled. He was ready to commit murder at that moment. But no, he just had to act quicker and sharper. He had to confess, you had to confess, your binding love for one another. It was understanding, why would you admit such a thing on your own? Professor Murphy understood how anxious and restricting you would be on your thoughts towards him, towards being together. 

Yet, he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were trying to move on or trying to make him jealous. Both seemed to be logical. Either you couldn’t deal with the pain of wanting a man you couldn’t have or you wanted to make him break his moral code, his legal obligation. You got a reaction out of him, that’s for sure. 

His emotions got the better of him however. He was a harsh critic of your recent assignment, clearly shown through his final mark. You’ve never failed at anything before. Not only was it a massive smack to your ego, your scholarship depended on it. It made you angry, frustrated and anxious. So you had to know how on earth you could have failed. 

As you stood before him, you went unnoticed. It was a first, him not noticing you. The insecurity weighed down on you. Like everyone sitting in the room was watching you. “Sir, I don’t understand my mark” you mumbled, fingers twirling with one another as you stood before him sitting at his desk. 

He took a moment to acknowledge you before he even spoke. “I suppose I could go over it in detail with you” he replied, his no eye contact and no emotional tone left you dumbfounded. “But I wouldn’t be available until after my meetings after school hours” he added, finally making eye contact with you.

No, you had to be in over your head right now. He was not making a sexual advance on you. That anxious mind of yours was thinking of the worst possible outcomes. But his dark expression told you otherwise. 

“I suppose I could give you a call when you’re free” you half offered, half begged since your dignity and desperation fought with each other. 

“It would be easier doing it in person” he counted, fuck. “Just drop by my office after seven” he said carelessly, not phased if any other student would hear. Your heart started pounding. He spoke as if you were already consenting to this. How were you meant to reply to that? “Is that all?” Mr Murphy asked, a small grin on his lips. You nodded your head and did the  walk of shame back to your seat. 

You couldn’t look at him for the rest of the class. It made you feel nauseous and your skin was crawling. But he had no shame in watching you. Those gorgeous blue eyes of his was picturing fucking you in every position possible. 

Later in the day, you walked the deserted halls. Your mary jane shoes clanked over the polished floors. No one was at school at this time since it was a Friday. You could hear your footsteps echo down the hallways. With a hesitant thought, you knocked on his office door. He called you in, the door creaked open. 

“Hi there” he smiled, sitting behind his desk, the only source of lighting was his desk lamp. All of the blinds were shut. As you began to walk to the desk, he stopped you, “shut the door behind you, love”. Obediently doing as you were told, you shut the door slowly, your hand placed firmly on the knob. “Now, lock it” he ordered. You don’t know why you did it. Maybe because you were intimidated, anxious of what he would have done if you didn’t. Or maybe because it made your core naturally clench. “Come here” he gestured, you did, there was usually a pair of chairs in front of his desk but they were out of sight. Walking up to him, your teacher turned his seat to face you, legs wide open, silence filled the room. 

“Come on” he grinned, his hand patting his slim thigh.

“Professor” you whimpered.  

“Do what your professor tells you” he sighed, a hint of frustration in his tone as he patted his thigh on a slow heavy beat. 

“I thought we were going to go over my mark” you responded through a clenched jaw, refusing to make eye contact with him. 

“We can do that later” he said blankly. 

“I want to do it now” you whimpered, finding it hard to keep your guard up, your posture curling forward. “This is what I came over for, remember?” You tried to show some sternness, remembering you still had to have some power over him. His expression was as cold as ice. 

“Fine, you were sloppy. Your piece lacked creativity. I’ve never read something more rushed, do you know how many grammar issues I found?” he spat. You felt yourself tear up, not sure if it’s because of his tone or the fact that you were always a high achiever. Out of the blue he added a ultimatum, “I haven’t entered it yet, if you submit to me, then I’ll give you a more generous mark”. His eyes were dark and tone was blank. 

You gasped out and took a large step back. Professor Murphy stood from his seat abruptly, making you flinch. 

“No- I, I can’t do that. That’s wrong” you shook your head, hiding your tempting body with your arms. 

Mr Murphy sighed, his eyes lingering up and down your perfect figure. His mouth always frothed over when he saw you wear that beige pleated tennis skirt with the white see through blouse. 

“I won’t tell… Will you?” He cocked an eyebrow, head tilted as he carefully stepped towards you, as if you were a timid animal. 

“No” you replied softly. 

“Then what’s wrong?” Mr Murphy pulled a face. 

“I’ve never had sex before” you whimpered. 

“I know baby, I know. You said that knowing I’d hear you. A cry out in hopes that I would claim you. The clouds have rained a blessing for us both. I can’t wait any longer, I can’t risk you acting foolishly with anyone” he mumbled slightly towards the end. “I know you have feelings towards me” he brought to light. “And I want you to know that I reciprocate those feelings” a gentle sigh escaped his lips. 

As the distance closed in, Mr Murphy grabbed onto your hands and placed them on his beating chest. His expression was hidden by the dark, your face scrunched as you tried to decipher anything. Your heavy breathing filled the room, your ears felt blocked as you blinked with teary eyes. Slowly, he placed his hand on your heartbeat, but gradually his hand began to roam across your breasts. His other hand snaked around the small of your back, his fingers cautiously tugging your shirt out of your skirt. 

“You can’t help but to feel subconscious over your attraction towards me. It’s taboo after all, you’re so young. You still have a life to live. I’d want to get over it as well, it must hold you back so much” another sigh, a gentle smile on his lips. “But I’m here, right now. I need you to know that. That it’s me here” he said unsmiling now, his grip on your back much tighter than before. 

“I don’t want to fuck you!” you shrieked, your lips trembling. It was all a joke, it was just fun to tease him, with all of them. After trying to rip yourself out of his firm hold, you lost balance and fell onto your backside. 

You never could have predicted him to be so obsessed, so insane even though it was as clear as daylight. It terrified that he felt this way about you. Mr Murphy acted swiftly and pounced at you before you could get up. He pinned you down, your head whacked against the floorboards. You cried and thrashed to break free but it was no use when his hand smacked over your open mouth. “Why are you fighting me? You wanted this didn’t you!” Mr Murphy hissed with frustration. Hushing you of your muffled cries, he held you still until you managed to calm down.

“Now, don’t be a fucking prickteaser” he spat by your ear. “Sick of your fucking vamping, when I was so good to you” he mumbled as he started kissing your neck. You whined underneath him, still squirming like crazy, but he held you down with ease. “Now, be a good girl and stay quiet otherwise I’m going to have to spank you” he warned, a cheeky grin on his lips. His clamped hand slipped down, his fingers brushed over your wobbly lips. 

“Please sir, I don’t like this” you cried, keeping your volume down low. Mr Murphy started cooing you and brushed your hair to the side. 

“Hey, you’re stressing over nothing. I’m going to take care of you, okay baby?” Mr Murphy assured. His expression was unhinged but tone was kind. 

The only way you could respond to that was by quietly crying more. There were so many things going unnoticed by you, like how badly your body was shaking or how your core was squeezing like crazy. Admiring your face, Mr Murphy slid his hand down to your breasts and began kneading them, you bit your lower lip. 

“Such a good girl” he praised. “Always dressing up for me, looking sexy, just to make me happy” he grinned. “So your cunt is untouched mhm?” He questioned with his hands unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your cream bra. 

“Y-yes” you whimpered. 

“Good girl, you were saving yourself for someone special, for me right?” Mr Murphy asked, a sinister look on him. 

“Yes” you unwillingly repeat yourself. A soft moan fell off your lips as he played with your tits roughly. 

Slapping both of them harshly, you shrieked as he rode up your skirt, revealing your matching panties. “You did this on purpose yeah?” He mumbled with a grin. To keep him happy, you nodded. 

Slowly, he slid down your panties, you whined, heart racing and throat tightening as he pulled your panties off complete. Mr Murphy hushed you and slid down to practically lay on his chest as he took your thighs to wrap around his head. His ass was poking up like a slut, legs planted widely apart as he admired your gorgeous cunt in the dim lighting. The first lick was slow, he grumbled as you yelped at the sensation that ran up your skin. The next lick was deeper but quicker, Mr Murphy’s eyes rolled back, his cock twitching in his pants. Fingernails digging into your bare skin, you tried to grip onto the floorboards but found your hands slipping too much for your liking, resulting in you gripping onto his luscious, dark hair. 

His tongue slipped along your slit, your core was gushing now. Whimpering against his tongue, you found your back arching and hips locking up onto his mouth. Circles around your clit, up, down and zig zagging along your slit, deep inside your canal, Mr Murphy’s tongue was attacking your cunt in every movement. Your sweet, soft moans were music to his ears. 

Your walls began pulsing around his tongue, your legs shaking like crazy and your words unable to form a sentence. Nose deep into your cunt, your teacher started moaning into you, the vibrations made you yelp. With a massive pop sound, he pulled his mouth away from your cunt. 

“Does my sweet girl want to finish?” He smugly asked, his fingers slipping over your folds. You nodded instantly, hips moving up higher to him. Mr Murphy chuckled, a finger slowly slipping inside of you. You mewled, his tongue warmed you up but it still hurt to have his finger inside of you. “You’re gonna have to get used to my fingers first if you want to come. God, how are you going to react when you feel my cock inside of you?” he pursed one’s lips.  

[soaringwide]

PAC: What's great about you and how can you boost your self-confidence?

PILE 1 > PILE 2 > PILE 3

Today I wanted to do a lighter Pick a Card tarot reading and focus on the topic of self-confidence and how you can boost or improve it.

I hope this reading provides you comfort and help you understand what's awesome about you and what you can feel proud of :)

As always, this is a general reading meant for multiple people, take what resonates and leave out the rest.

IMPORTANT: I'm going on vacation until the end of September (2024) so there won't be new pick a card in the meantime, and I won't be able to do paid readings either. Shop is still open but keep that in mind because I'll either have to refund you or have you wait till I'm back. I'll be around a little on tumblr though in case someone wants to chat!

book a reading ★ all PACs ★ pinned post ★ instagram

PILE 1

Cards: the Magician, 10 of Swords, Queen of Swords, Page of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles, Justice, Page of Wands, the Lovers, the Sun, King of Cups

What's great about you

You are able to draw a lot of strength from your inner struggles, using your pains and failures to fuel you and turn them into something that can propel you forward. Having high expectations for yourself and a deeply seated sense of your own values and opinions, you are not just someone who let themselves go for too long, but someone who always pick themselves back up and find a way to bounce back. Nothing is truly a failure if you can learn from it and come back of it stronger, smarter and more determined.

You know what you want for yourself and out of your life and you are determined to make things happen at some point. It's like some type of very determined energy, that while not super fast moving per say, does not back§ off before anything and keep moving no matter what, slow and steady like a deeply rooted tree inexorably growing year after year. You are someone with a vision, a dream that you hold firmly and I see you also having faith that things will turn out in your favor if you just keep pushing long enough.

It's not wonder that the magician takes the center stage of this part of the reading, as this Major Arcana represent the power of someone who brings concepts and ideas into reality. Someone who is always learning, always evolving, someone who seeks mastering everything they put their mind to, turning the most unfavorable situation into something that can serve them and their goal.

How to boost your self confidence

With the appearance here of Cups and Wands, which you were lacking in the previous section, you're basically being urged to balance yourself and complete your set of tools, so to speak.

The page of Wands adds the spark, the passion, the enthusiasm. It encourages you to be more optimistic and recognize your own power, and embrace your vision even further, allowing yourself to lean into it and really go along with it openly and with an adventurous spirit. This message is highlighted even further by the Sun, encouraging your to clear up your doubts and be more carefree. I think that you would gain a lot from letting go of the struggle mindset, knowing that yes, your resilience is admirable, but you don't need to struggle to do everything. Things can be easy and exciting too, not everything needs to be a struggle, and you have that power within you too.

The King of Cups is here to remind you that your emotions are not your enemy, but important carrier of messages and signals from the inner realms to take care of yourself in a gentle manner. I think this ability to pick yourself back up we mentioned earlier may sometimes make you a bit harsh with yourself, and you're being encouraged to be softer.

On top of that, in both sections, there is a strong Mercury influence, with on one side the Magician, and on the other Justice and the Lovers (both gemini cards, which is ruled by Mercury). What it means is that you can lean even more into your intellectual and communicative qualities, which you already have albeit in a rawer form.

With these cards, there is also a strong message about choice. Basically, if you want to feel more self-confident, you have to chose to embrace it first and foremost. To decide that this is a goal of yours, to believe in it and go for it, because with this here I don't think it's necessarily on your radar right now, but mostly some type of noise in the background. With your go-getter energy, really making it a priority will propel you forward with force.

You are a born storyteller, and the main protagonist of your own story. So what story do you want to tell? Embrace your vision and the world will open to you.

PILE 2

Cards: 2 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 8 of Cups, 5 of Pentacles, the World, the Tower, Ace of Pentacle, the Chariot, 3 of Pentacles, the Lovers

What's great about you

It seems that you have currently closed, or are closing, some type of painful cycle that made you feel a great sense of loss. Perhaps it is related to a relationship or an union of some kind. It made you feel like you were lacking something and broke your world and the vision you had for the future. You were left disappointed and perhaps even made you feel some type of hopelessness.

However, I don't think you gave up, but instead, you decided to move on and refocus on yourself. Which makes me think that right now, you are in this transitional phase. Why this message is showing up here is to tell you that you might not see it, but this ability of yours to bounce back and prioritize your own needs is admirable and a great strength.

What's great about you is that you know when enough is enough, you know what is worth fighting for and when to let go, and you know you can rely on yourself to advocate for your own happiness.

You are being encourage to see it, celebrate it and embrace the fact that while a new chapter is closing, a new one is opening too, even if you can't see it quite yet.

How to boost your self confidence

You are being encouraged to focus on a goal of yours, perhaps some type of dream or opportunity you'd like to go for. Do not linger on what you have lost, or what didn't came into being, but rather, on what could be in the future.

Let yourself dream and use that yearning to power you up and go after what you want. The Chariot as a character is someone who went through something difficult and learnt from it, leaving the doubts and uncertainty behind to embrace their desire to go for what they want. It's a card of movement and determination, of effort leading to success.

What I'm getting here might be different for different folks, but with the 3 of Pentacles and the Lovers, the main message I'm seeing is that you need to focus on building something for yourself first and foremost, working on that goal or dream of yours and seize the opportunity that are available to you without fear that you are not ready or good enough, because you are, and work towards it with patience and focus. For those who resonate with the relationship part of the previous section, it is possible that a better union is on the horizon once you allowed yourself to be in a better and more fulfilled place mentally and emotionally, and for others, it's talking about a more harmonious relationship with yourself where you would be able to accept who you are and love yourself more.*

(*Note: that is not to say there will be no relationship at the same time, simply that the cards comment on the harmony with yourself being primordial here. It's not mutually exclusive.)

So yeah, don't let past hurt dictate how you should feel and what you should go for. Let that go, leave that to the side, and look forward to the horizon. And remember to love yourself like you would like to be loved, for the amazing person that you are.

PILE 3

Cards: Temperance, Judgement, the Sun, the High Priestess, 5 of Cups, the Tower, King of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands, the Hierophant

What's great about you

This pile is for those who have been intensively learning from their past and healed from it. There are three main messages here.

First, I see that you have learned to balance things between your rich inner world and your outer, more mundane life. I think you are highly intuitive and connected to your inner self, however, in the past, that may have made you overly detached from the world, and I see that you have made a lot of efforts to close that gap. I keep getting the word dissociation so perhaps that's relevant to some of you. Perhaps also you were described as overly mysterious or closed-off, and you worked a lot on yourself to be more open and actually connect with others authentically.

Secondly, I see that you went through a time of intense grief, which doesn't have to be about someone you lost (but could be) but can also be a general sense of loss or deep disappointment regarding something. For a long time, you stayed there licking your wounds and lamenting on the past, but then, you reached a point where you could not go on like that, some type of wake up call that made you move forward again.

Lastly, and tying the past two message together, you learned to let go of your catastrophizing or pessimistic mindset and are now more joyful, more optimistic, carefree even. There is a cheerful and youthful energy about you that some people who went through very heavy things and managed to come out on top hold, and is very inspiring to others who can sense it even if they don't know the details.

How to boost your self confidence

Here, I'm getting that after all the work you've done on yourself, it's okay and even highly encouraged to focus on your comfort and physical abundance too.

I think you may have put that to the side a lot, perhaps because it wasn't a priority or perhaps because you didn't think you deserved it, but here you're being urged to see that it's actually an important part of your life too. There is some type of legacy that you are able to leave, because you have the skills and/or wisdom to pass it down, and that could lead to a lot of success on different levels for you.

You need to let go of this mindset that you are not good enough, that you are unfitting to the things you want to get or to do, and also let go of this mental box you put yourself in where you were focused on surviving instead of thriving.

There is also the message that you hold a precious wisdom that could make you a point of reference in something, and that you need to recognize it and learn to actively share it. People will come to you for advice once you see that, but you have to see it yourself first and start to actively act on it.

[theoccultz]

How do your classmates and teachers perceive you ?

Req.

Intuitive chanelling

Thank you for all your likes ,repost and feedbacks, i appreciate it 🫶🏼

Pics and dividers credits to their original owners , i dont own them

Take what resonates, leave what doesn't, the decision is always yours .

ATTENTION : Donate #GAZA #BOOST

Pile l . Pile ll.

Pile ll. Pile lV.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Pile l .

Note : Their perception and your real self are 2 different things so take whate resonates and leave what doesn't , take it as a fun reading.

Students:

Nervous and a little on edge , you give off the impression of someone of a hardworker, someone's who's very attentive and great to work with , most of your classmates feel relieved when you are in their team in group projects , they think you have good ideas and a " unique perspective" you always seem to think outside the box , they think you have your style instead of saying things out and loud to appear more confident you seem to speak softly and explain things from your own interpretation, they think you are here to get work done rather to mess around, yes you will be playful with others but you're also very contemplative during class , its like everyone expects you to not pay attention it looks like you are in your head and you're not focused but when the time comes,suppose there's a surprise test you'll actually perform better than everyone else in teams of understanding the concept, your classmates has an assumption that you like to create your space and its always on the quieter side maybe you put in headphones or before writing or learning something you prefer to organise your table or get comfortable before the lecture starts . They think you'll be successful in life , but you might need to do things in a more textbook way rather than making your own interpretations of things and that way you will perform better . I think this perception has changed because of your professor's, maybe they told you to be more specific in your answer or state points in a systematic manner , to use this method and don't do this sum from this methid and blah blah , so you may feel a little stuck and maybe you have to put in more effort even though what you are doing is not wrong its actually creative, but your subjects might need a lot of mechanical interpretation .....yeah i feel so bad , you guys have really interesting perceptions, if you have seen the movie 3 idiots the guy rancho ig was his name , there was one scene where he was arguing with his professor about mechanical learning and ACTUAL learning. You look laid back and chilled out to most of them, you only speak when spoken too vibes but you know too much and keep quite. They think you are a perfectionist and teachers fav .

Your teachers:

They think you are a kind , compassionate person , they think you are introverted or you have a small circle of friends, they think you should take a stand for yourself, maybe they ask you questions and you just go with whatever they are saying instead of explaining it so they feel a little confused as to why you took that action or why you said that , they think you area little slow in your learning and that you actually think from a bigger picture instead of analysing small things for eg : they tell you to assume there's a person , you'll be assuming their height , their gender and what not ,to , make a mental map so you think a little ahead . They think you look intensely at them , maybe when they are explaining something you will look like you are 100% focused but then you might not actively participate in the discussion they want you to do that more , they think you should kind of relax and not be "THAT" attentive . They sometimes see that you may need to ask something but then they know you wouldn't come and ask them , they might think you are shy and nerdy ,yeah they think you are soft spoken and loves to avoid them lol . They think you have an attractive voice .

You may have these placements or you give off the energy of it :

mars 2h , venus-sun square, aquarius moon/rising, cancer6h , Neptune 8h , uranus square mercury, sun tribe nars , mars4h , medusa3h , aries venus , scorpio moon , gemini 8h/4 , L, loose shirt , heart locket , blue keychain , tomboy , late , wavy hair , Jamie, pet snake , crime books , mean girls , ice cream,baseball , anime ,stickers , skyhigh? glasses , cute smile ,fit , hairband , black bag, crocs .

Your energy felt so nostalgic and great to channel , its watching your favourite show on a Saturday night !!! Keep it up guys .

Thank you for reading!!

Pile ll .

Remember guys their perception and your real self are 2 different things so take whate resonates and leave what doesn't , take it as a fun reading.

Classmates:

They think you look nonchalant , you look disinterested and focused , They think you have a good attention span ,they think you might be rich , you look very confident but of course you have flaws , you are not embarrassed easily like you laugh it off , they think you look good in whatever you wear although you are moody , a lot of people find you charming and would be interested in a romantic relationship, they think you are drop dead gorgeous, you give them cold shoulder most of the times you are an ambivert ,you can work well but you are not that interested in people overall ,you have certain people you hang out with , they think you have a questionable circle , they think you have a lot of qualities they would be interested in learning , you give them the vibes of the student who can learn anything very fast you are kind of quick with the information although you may not be interested in class participation that much you , but you do well on your tests , they think you can be a little assertive like outright put them in their place if they disrespect you , you are also very sweet to some but you're kind of awkward with the new one's or people you dont interact a lot with , instead of asking about their day you get bored after 2mins and get back to your place , you seem to be always doing something and they could be taken back ,they think you're always engaged , i dont think you use phones a lot in class , you do look engaged with your work , maybe you just plug in to avoid Distractions and they're like woahh thats so cool , you come off as cool & cold to them lol ice queen vibes* its like someone who'd wear a hoodie in summers and still look cool instead of stupid, they think you are loud or you have masculine voice , they like your smile , hair and body , you may wear crop tops and big shoes , you look kind of edgy with your fashion like y2k style , i'm seeing a lot of stars for some reason. No bs vibe .

Teachers :

Oh my gosh do you volunteer for fashion shows or are you a fashion student ? Your teachers think you look like a doll now pls hang in there with me 😭✋🏽 they think you look kind of weak like you dont eat properly, they think you would ignore them no matter where they see you , you give them short replies , they think you do well in your tests , they think you area little stuck up and doesn't like attending Events , you make it very evident that you are forced to be here , you are emotionally expressive but also you keep on poker face, yeah they cant get a good read on you they have to spend time to not misread your habits , they also think you have good mannerisms yeah not a lot of opinions , they think you kind of actively go to places , they think you can cause trouble tho but you mostly dont so lol

*this was chaotic lmao*

You may have these placements or you give off the energy of it :

Noble , P, sister , sweet smell , kangaroo, 616 , 9, 47, hearty lips , big eyes , long eyeliner, yes , lets go out , blue jacket ,pink shirt , black eyes , dancer , sean socks ,j, stencil ? Steel? Mango , daisy , m , k ,braids , venus 9h , mars5h ,saturn2h , Uranus Neptune conjunction, Sagittarius moon , taurus n.node , pisces 1h , 11h satellum ,venus-saturn sextile ,pluto on asc ,19° , yod , cap /taurus rising, cancer 12h , aquarius moon.

Thank you for reading!!

Pile lll .

Remember guys their perception and your real self are 2 different things so take whate resonates and leave what doesn't , take it as a fun reading.

Classmates:

Damnn you have competitors, immediately you are someone of high status in your school/uni whatever, you are someone with great potential, you are very talented and smart , you are rebellious and can outsmart the easily , you know things before they do , they think you have a superiority complex , they think you pick up on their manipulation tactics easily , they think you are a tough nut to crack , they feel intimidated by your aura , they think you are very brave and its stupid to get revenge on you , they feel nervous around you but also excited because you look Sophiscated, they think you judge them harshly , they think you dobt care but you also put up an act , they think your friends are scary or there's too many people on your side , they think you have excellent communication skills , you are not afraid to be big , you would 100% interrupt them in their presentations with your smartass questions, they think you challenge the teachers, you play too risky , they think you may have had a tough childhood, they think you smell good and you love pet's and childerens, they think you'll stand up against the bully , they think you are strong willed, they are impresseed by your dedication, they think if your grades drop in next sem you would get it back but more than before , they think you are sporty , bold , and enthusiastic, they think you should show off your talent more , they'd wanna date you cause you're hot but you're too unbothered by their presence , lots of assumptions and nervous energy . They most likely dont show this they prob pretend around you or act too confident, there's sone bitchy ass Lame people here who are insecure and are projecting, they dont like when you act too "cool" or reject their gestures .

Teachers :

Oh wow completely different, they think you have a lot of interests , they think you can bring honour to the school/college , or a lot of people seem to compliment your ethics , they think you are consistent and very strict on discipline, they think you have a lot of opportunities and you are some people's favourite,they kind of wonder when you're not present, they want to talk to you more to get to know you better but you dont give them a Chance lol , you kind of shock them , for some reasons my notifs are on rise with this pile fir the 2nd time * weird * , you're mostly busy ,they think you are good with technology and loves to spend time in nature , they think you are active and you put in efforts in your appearence ,they think you live far , they think you have a different Accent , some teachers may accidently stalk you and they may think you lie a lot or you are very different from your online persona lol , they think you are artistic and you would 100% get their work done , they think you have neat & clean hands?what ... They think you have a lot of achievement certificates or you'll have many , they think you can make a great speaker , they think you learn from faliures , they think you want to be liked by your peers but you failed to do so , they think you lack confidence and need a lot of assurance. If you are mostly absent they'd wanna see you around more , they may mispell your name but they find you sincere and hard-working, someone who'll make it big with their skills & knowledge.

You may have these placements or you give off the energy of it :

Virgo rising, libra 10h , 9h moon ,12 satellum, jupiter sun , sun pluto saturn-pluto , birthday, 16 , funny, online ,stunted , senior , lilith prominent ,text habits are strange, eye bags , heighted , lot of distractions in this pile .

Thank you for reading!!

Pile lV .

Remember guys their perception and your real self are 2 different things so take whate resonates and leave what doesn't , take it as a fun reading.

Classmates:

They think you are smarter than you come across ,they think you take lead most of the times , they think you are a rebel and you dont back down easily , they like your vibe and they think you have right or good opinion on things , they think you are a trouble maker but you are always saved from the trouble, they think you can manifest easily or you can predict things easily , they think you are strong even in tough times you may appear calm , they think they can confide in you and bitch about other people, they think you are disliked by certain people for no reason like there's a lot of rumour which are untrue and stupid , at the first glance they think you have attitude or you look deatched but you're approachable and kind once spoken ,they think you should take care of your health more , they think you study well and you may have healthy habits , they think you stay up late , they dont know a lot about your background but they appreciate you regardless and will continue to do so , they also think you stand out fron the people in your caste , religion etc etc , they think you are really pretty but you get picked on easily for no reason, they like your eyes , they think you are sad but you hide well , they think you work well under pressure although you may not ,they kind of want to comfort you and have you around in the future. They think you go through a lot of transformations and you may also cut your hairs from time to time its like you maintain yourself, they think you have a signature scent you stick too , they always see you exhausted but still holding up , they think you avoid them or they see you first , they can read you well and they may act accordingly to it , they think you are helpfull but not weak and stupid , they think some are jealous of you , they think you are put in leadership positions and you do well , they do not agree with others critism and defend you most of the times . They think you are funny and free to work with , they love your attitude and would love to be friends with you if you would have less boundaries with them lol .

Teachers :

Ahh they feel disappointed in you , they think you dont focus on their class , they think you do the opposite of what they tell you too , they think you mess up on purpose, they dont like to see you around others ? Wtf they are so childish and unprofessional sorry. Most of your teachers dont want you to cross them if they say its zee then its zee not A , i dont think you do tho , their ass is negative af *toxic energy dude sorry * they want you to just obey them , they want you to be more Clear of your goals , they want to see you in competitions and active in activites,they think you can do better , they think you have a tendency to run away if things get hard, they think you are disrespectful and someone who they need to keep an eye on , they think you are exhausted or mentally drained , they think you dont have a balanced life , they'd want to offer you assistance, they think you resist things and you should be more open and free with them , they want to see you share your wisdom with others , they want to see you smile more or be more enthusiastic, they want to see you in an optimist state , they want you to focus on your self and maintain your hygiene. They think you look pretty elegant and influential but you are depressed , instead of guiding you they can get critical . These teachers are passive aggressive and likely on the face, so pls pick a diff pile if its not the same for you .

Ugh they dont know you at all , they seem so bitter and weird , must be stressful to deal with them , They are not all that first of all , second you should maintain your distance, and be more assertive around them . I picked up this energy of humbling you which i dont agree with .

You may have these placements or you give off the energy of it :

Scorpio sun/moon/rising, Sagittarius 12h, Lilith libra4h , sun-saturn , pisces 3h , leo 9h/rising, 2 , 7/11 , brooklyn ,sweeden , biscuits, netflix , captain, red shirt, clumsy umbrella, lost 20$ , frenemy, documentries , songs ,3pm .

Thank you for reading!!

[griffonsgrove]

NSFW Alphabet || Lucifer Morningstar

Hello my sweeties!! Been a while but I thought I’d break the hiatus with something a little fun. The last time I posted, I hadn't seen the entirety of Hazbin, but now I have so I definitely have had more time to fully flesh out my thoughts on the characters a bit more >:] I think I’ll get started on all of your lovely requests asap!! Ty for being so patient and please enjoy!!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel cw: sexy fun times be warned wordcount: 1758

  Fandom: Hazbin Hotel cw: sexy fun times be warned wordcount: 1758

 NSFW Content 18+ Minors DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Lucifer is such a sweetie!!! He’ll always be sure to check in on you, make sure that you're ok, clean you up and tend to you, especially after a particularly rough session. After coming down from that post-sex high, he’ll become really cuddly and cling onto you like a koala, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. 

That’s not to say he doesn't like being pampered as well, it's tough work being the king of hell! Sometimes he just wants to be coddled and doted on by his wonderful, sexy partner.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Being the sin of pride, I’d have to say Lucifer’s favorite body part would have to be those big ol’ magnificent wings of his. They’re a sign of his status and power, plus he’ll never get tired of the way your face lights up when you gaze upon them.

For you however, he loves your face. Watching those cute little reactions you make while he pleasures you, or watching your eyes roll into the back of your head as he hits that spot deep inside of you. He likes knowing that he makes you feel good. (It boosts his already massive ego).

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Thick and pearlescent. I'm not joking, it has a slight shimmer to it. It’s tangy on the tongue at first but has a sweet aftertaste. He prefers cumming inside of you, he feels like it's more intimate that way and it satiates his more primal instincts

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Wants you to sit on his face sooooo bad. Like full weight and everything. He doesn't care about the potential risk of suffocating either, he actually welcomes it. Lucifer is already a self-deprecating person and thinks he would die a very happy man with your thighs trapped around his face and surrounded by your scent.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) I mean- He’s technically had two wives and has a child- I think it's safe to say that he’s pretty damn experienced when it comes to making love. He’ll always put your needs before his own though, confident in his ability to make you see stars.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

As stated previously, Lucifer loves being able to see your face, so anything where he has you in his sights, such as the classic missionary, mating press, cowgirl, rocking horse, and the lotus position are a few of his favorites.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Oh he’s an absolute goofball a majority of the time. Cracking jokes, doing funny faces, or even making really bad puns that somehow correspond to whatever situation you find yourself in. There are of course softer moments between the two of you, but he takes great pride in being able to make you laugh or giggle when he’s balls deep inside.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Lucifer likes to keep himself well groomed (presentation is everything!). Hes definitely not baby smooth, but he does have a small patch of blonde curls at the base of his crotch. Occasionally trimming when he thinks they’ve grown out of hand.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I’d like to think despite his goofy demeanor, Lucifer really can be sweet and attentive during sex. He really just wants to be loved as much as he loves you, so he puts the utmost thought and care when it comes to pleasuring you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't think Lucifer would indulge in jerking off that often. In his mind, he doesn't need to waste the time touching himself when he has you! Of course also being the king of hell leaves him with not a lot of time to get away with cranking one out. 

If he ever finds himself needing some release and you’re not around (which isn't often), then he’ll give in and finally touch himself, thinking of you 100% of the time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

BREEDING. 100% has a breeding kink, you can't change my mind, the mere thought of seeing you with a round, swollen belly, carrying his child? It’s enough to have him nearly busting in his pants right then and there. Mommy/Daddy kink - This goes both ways, he enjoys being called daddy and even refers to himself as such a majority of the time, it kinda sets off a primal desire in him. But also, loooooves referring to you as daddy/mommy as well, especially if he's subbing. Bro gets a kick out of being topped. Which leads to the next kink:

 Authoritarian - Listen, Lucifer obviously has a type when it comes to choosing his partner alright? Being the short king that he is, if you’re significantly larger/taller than him that’s all he wants in a partner. It’s hard work running an entire realm, sometimes he just likes having someone else take charge for once.

Praise - They don't call him the sin of Pride for nothing. He needs to know how good he’s making you feel, please tell him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s not picky, but likes to keep things somewhat secluded, so anywhere within the sanctity of your shared home is free game. Although I do think that he’d get a kick out of fucking on his throne, he loves the display of power.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Doesn't take much to get him going if we're being honest. He’s a pretty basic guy, if you dress up in some new fancy lacey get up, he’ll jump on you right then and there. He really does just love to admire your natural beauty.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will physically harm you to an extensive degree. He loves you with all his little heart and he can't imagine inflicting any sort of long lasting wound to your beautiful body, he wouldn't forgive himself. There are of course exceptions (he’ll slap your bum, or give you a teasing pinch, maybe even a few love bites when he gets carried away) but never anything extreme.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) LOVES GIVING. He’s a munch for sure. There’s just something about your taste that drives him wild, it’s like ambrosia for him, and he’s hella skilled with his tongue too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the mood. Lucifer likes to take his time with you, so I feel like he tends to lean more towards slow and sensual love making, but there have been times when he’s been incredibly needy and desperate and just needs to hold you down and drill into you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lucifer’s a busy man, so I feel like quickies may become a recurring thing, whether that be in between meetings, calls or events, it often leaves him pent up and needing to release that stress.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Very experimental I feel. Wants to at least try everything once, just to see if he likes it or not, but he’ll never try to push your boundaries or try to make you uncomfortable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s an angelic being, I can imagine he'll be able to go for hours. Hes literally pure energy, you’re the one that usually ends up tapping out after numerous rounds, and he’ll follow you soon after.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Honestly, I dont feel like he’d personally have any toys for himself but would definitely get them to try out on you. As i’ve said he’s pretty experimental, and is always looking for new ways to spice up your sexy times.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Big teaser, but not to the point where he’s mean. He never wants to intentionally hurt your feelings; he’ll feel so bad. He does like to see how bashful you can get though when he asks you certain questions or praises you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

LOUD. I don't make the rules. This man will NOT shut his mouth whatsoever, he wants you to know how good you're making him feel ok? He’s soooo whiny it’s kind of pathetic at times but you love it. If he’s really carried away he wont even speak, just letting out a strain of deep grunts and growls into your ear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I touched on this briefly earlier, but honestly, Lucifer just wants to be taken care of. He’s so used to looking out for others and running the entirety of hell that it's no surprise he quickly becomes overwhelmed and depressed. Even if it’s just for a day, he’d love to not have to worry about anything, just being coddled and tended to by his partner.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Lucifers got a pretty darn good package. Nearly 7 inches in length, uncut, the same pale white as his skin but fades into a soft pink at the tip, with a prominent vein that runs along the underside. He sure as hell knows how to use it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average. He knows that your relationship is built off of mutual understanding and love and it doesn't always have to be connected through sex. I’d imagine y'all would have sex about  2-3 times a week at the least (a pretty healthy amount for someone in his position tbh) He enjoys quality time with you, and what’s a better way than having you cum your brains out??

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After making sure you’re well taken care of, Lucifer becomes extremely cuddly and affectionate, it's so adorable actually because he nuzzles into you and becomes a clingy, sleepy teddy bear, craving your warmth. It won't take him long before he eventually falls asleep, enjoying being surrounded by you.

[physalian]

In Defense of Fanfiction (Or the perfect starting point for your original novel)

Fanfic gets a bad rap pretty much everywhere except Tumblr. It’s misunderstood and misrepresented by its average works, seen as juvenile and cringey, or a banal point of contention between a famous person or piece of media and its fans.

Outside of fanfic that writes about real people, especially smut fics of real people, I support the art wholeheartedly. Fictional characters are one thing, but personally, caricaturing a celebrity’s life for public consumption and writing or drawing them in compromising content without their consent is a little weird. You do you. Don’t like, don’t read, as they say.

Fanfic is the perfect starting point for a few reasons:

It places you in a creative box and forces you to work within those constraints

It does all the worldbuilding and character concepts for you

It lets you write way outside your comfort zone

When published and receiving feedback, it boosts your self-confidence

It's incredibly flexible

It’s practice. All practice is good practice

—

Behold your creative box

When I was little I had no idea the majority of fanfic was shipping fics. I always pictured and looked for canon-divergent alternate universes. Like, what if X happened in this episode instead of Y? What if this character never died?

Fanfic demands you work within someone else’s canon, whether it’s an OC in the canonical world, or the canonical characters in an AU. These are like little bowling bumpers saving you from the gutter, but also keeping you on a straight-ish path toward the pins.

The indecisiveness of too many choices can be too intimidating when you’re first starting out. You want to be a writer but you have no idea where to begin, what genre to pick, what characters you want to chronicle, what themes you want to explore.

Even if it sits on your computer never to see the light of day, you still got those creative juices flowing.

Pre-packaged worldbuilding

Sometimes all we want is to get to the good stuff. Maybe I want to write a story about elemental magicians but Last Airbender already exists and I just want to play in a pre-existing sandbox. So I write some OCs into that world and have a free-for-all.

I don’t have to come up with my own lore, world history, magic system rules and mechanics, politics, geography—any of it. I get to just focus on the characters.

Even if you’re writing an AU, like say a coffee shop AU, you don’t have to think about brand new characters, you can just think “What would M do?” and go from there. The trade-off is your readers will expect canonical characters to behave in-character, but I think it’s worth it.

Stretch beyond your comfort zone!

Do you hate writing action scenes? Go practice with a shonen anime fic. Need work on dialogue? Write some high-fantasy fic, or a courtroom drama. Practice a fistfight by watching fistfights and writing what you see, and do it over and over again until what you read makes you feel like you're watching what’s on screen.

But beyond that—practice genres that you aren’t super familiar with. If you’re new to fantasy, write fantasy fic. Or a mystery novel/show, thriller, comedy, satire, adventure, what have you. The nature of fanfic still gives you those “guardrails” and you can get some brutally honest feedback on how you’re doing.

And, of course, the realm of M-rated romance and smut fics. I haven’t because I think I would die of embarrassment if I tried and I never intend to include sex scenes in my works anyway, but if you do want to, use the internet as your test audience. Post it on a throwaway account if you’re nervous.

Build that self-confidence!

The fandoms I used to write for are super dead, so it’s insane how I still get email notifications that so-and-so liked my fic to this day. Comments are as elusive as ever, but random strangers on the internet telling me they liked my work is a magical reassurance that my writing isn’t actually awful.

Random strangers on the internet are, as we all know, beholden to no moral obligation to be kind to your little avatar face, or be kind to be polite. So a rando taking the time to like my work or even leave a positive comment can feel more honest than one of my friends telling me what they think I want to hear.

I tend to avoid the more present aspects of fandom like online communities, forums, social media, what have you, so I get a delayed and diluted aspect of any given fandom through completed works. Which means, in general, I get to avoid the worst and most toxic aspects of fandom and get to sift through positive feedback and critique.

Even if your fanfic isn’t written with stellar prose, it’s fanfic. We don’t expect Pulitzer-prize winning content. And if your work isn’t up to snuff, people are more likely to just ignore it than put you on blast (at least in my experience, I never got a bad comment or a “flame” in the old FFN days).

Fanfic doesn’t care about the rules of published literature

On the one hand, try not to practice bad habits, but with this point I mean that your layout, punctuation, formatting, paragraph styles, chapter length–all of it is beholden to no rules. I get as annoyed as the next reader with giant blocks of paragraphs, or the double-spacing between pages of single-sentence paragraphs, but if the story’s good enough I might ignore it.

There’s more than just straight narrative fics, though. People write “chat” fics, or long streams of text and group chat conversations. The scene breaks can come super rapidly–I’ve seen fics with a single sentence in between line breaks to show the passage of time. And without the polish of a traditionally published novel, I’ve never seen a purer distillation of author voice in any medium more than fanfic.

All practice is good practice

Even if it’s crack fiction, or a one-off one-shot, or something meant to be lighthearted and straightforward and free from complex worldbuilding and intricate plots. It really helps break writer’s block when you can shift gears and headspaces entirely and you can get relatively instant feedback to keep you motivated.

Beyond that, the “guardrails” help you stay consistent as far as character growth and personality if you struggle with designing rich characters.

The most recent fanfic I wrote was just a couple years ago, for a dead fandom I didn’t think would get any traffic whatsoever. It wasn’t my original works, but the feedback on that fic gave me the kick in the butt I needed to get back into writing more seriously.

—

In short, I support fanfic. I may not be proud of my earliest fics' prose now, but I am proud that they walked so I can now run.

[xileonaaaa]

Hii I loved the way you characterised Choso in ur last fic. Mind doing husband headcannons? Or nsfw headcannons if you allow it? 💖 thank you 💖💖

Hiiii, I would love to! Thank you for being my very first ask 💕. Instead of him starting off as your husband, I went with the longer approach. Hope you enjoy!

Thinking of Husband!Choso

He’s still his same old self, but now he has that much needed confidence boost, because you are his, and he is yours.

•────────•°•❀•°•─────────•

.⊹ °ʚ☆ɞ°.⭒₊

Hubby!Choso who didn’t even know that he would soon take on the role of being your husband.

Hubby!Choso who acted like your husband before he even got the official title. He’d do things for you that most normal boyfriends just wouldn’t do on an everyday basis. For example, waking up at the crack of dawn every morning just to make you breakfast, or coming home early just so he could cook your favorite meal for you. (It’s not like he did those things only on special occasions, no he did them every. single. day.)

Hubby!Choso who literally looked at you sideways when you told him that he might as well just become your husband after breakfast one morning. (He didn’t quite understand your logic, because to him, he was treating you the best he could, because he knew you deserved nothing but the best.)

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t seem to shake the thought of what marriage to you would be like. (He often thought about how you’d look walking down that aisle, with your beautiful dress flowing behind you, as you smiled at him, while he tried his best to hold back tears of joy.)

Hubby!Choso who wondered if he was really worthy of being by your side indefinitely. A half human such as himself?

Hubby!Choso who let his thoughts continue to fester, till the point where he began to literally see signs everywhere he went. For example, nightly trips to the grocery store while you were still at the school, suddenly turned into a sea of married couples, swooning over each other, and flashing their matching rings. Some couples even had children in the front sections of their carts, and Choso couldn’t help but wonder what that would be like to experience.

Hubby!Choso who realized that marriage life wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. He found that right as he was about to make his decision on whether or not to propose to you, he started seeing the more sour side of marriage. Affairs behind the partners back, relationships just somehow burning out, fights, you name it, and he’d most definitely seen it somewhere.

Hubby!Choso who laid off the idea of proposing for a while. He wasn’t sure if he was being selfish for wanting more from you, for wanting to call you his wife. (The thought of you being referred to as ‘his wife’ made him go out one evening to purchase a ring, because why not? He could just call you his wife in his head, because it wasn’t like he was going to slip that ring onto your pretty finger any time soon right?….right???) Wrong.

Hubby!Choso who then began to see this warm aura surrounding you, quite literally making you glow, and shine in every little thing you did. Sometimes, your little glow would be so mesmerizing, he’d stop whatever it was he was doing to just quietly stare at you. It was times like these he’d slip a hand into his pocket, and twirl the ring he’d bought for you, around in his fingers.

Hubby!Choso who spent alot of time thinking, and planning about seriously proposing to you. (His little fantasy wasn’t exactly doing it for him anymore.)

Hubby!Choso who spent so much time thinking, that he didn’t even notice he was causing you to worry, until you spoke up one night, after dinner.

Hubby!Choso who felt his eyes widen as you poured your heart out him, questioning him on his very odd, and standoffish behavior. He didn’t think he was acting any differently. (He was.)

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t help but try to explain himself without giving away the fact that he was seriously going to propose to you very soon.

Hubby!Choso who started going in circles, ranging from one excuse to another. He couldn’t lie to you, he just physically couldn’t. So when he saw your expression starting to turn into that of hurt, he took a deep breath and got down on one knee. (He wanted his proposal to be more extravagant but as unplanned, and unorganized as this was, he genuinely couldn’t wait to call you his anymore.)

Hubby!Choso who noticed the very abrupt change in your facial expression the minute he took a delicate hold of your right hand, massaging your fingers with his own while he gently smiled up at you.

Hubby!Choso who proceeded to explain the reason behind his very strange behavior, and how your one sentence about marriage had led him down a rabbit hole.

Hubby!Choso who had watched over a dozen marriage proposal videos, still found himself fumbling for the right words.

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist and turn into knots as he told you in the softest voice he could muster, just how good, and comfortable you made him feel.

Hubby!Choso who never once looked away from your gaze when he asked you if you would marry him. He found himself smiling ever so softly as he listened to your excited squeals of happiness, as you enthusiastically nodded your head yes.

Hubby!Choso who slipped his free hand into his pocket to pull out the beautiful pink ring that he’d held onto for past two months, before easing it onto your ring finger. He was so happy, he could’ve died and went to heaven right there and then.

Hubby!Choso who would’ve panicked had you not assured him that those were happy tears trailing down your cheeks. Regardless, he still stood up, and took the initiative to kiss away those tears, before pulling you into a loving hug, somehow hoping that you wouldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating against his rib cage.

NSFW:

Hubby!Choso who loved to listen you ramble about wedding preparations. He began to notice that if you ever had to leave a name for a company to call you back, you'd call yourself "Mr.s Kamo." and boy did that serve to rile him up.

Hubby!Choso who just couldn't seem to keep his lips off of yours. His self control seemingly leaving his body whenever he saw your form emerge from the bedroom wearing nothing but one of his shirts, and your wedding ring.

Hubby!Choso who was nothing like your previous partners, who were always impatient and rough with you, he was unbearibly soft in bed. Once he'd gotten the hang of all of your weak spots, he made sure you felt like you were on cloud 9, without serving to bruise your guts. It was a win-win honestly, he could watch you come undone underneath him, over and over and over again, all while cherishing your body as much as he wanted to.

Hubby!Choso who used to be an avid condom user, nowadays plunged in raw, always wanting to feel your warm walls clenching around him while he fucked you into your shared matress.

Hubby!Choso who was, and still is the absolute king of aftercare. You'd always try your hardest to keep your eyes open while he cleaned you up, just so you could tease him about the time he literally called 911 because he'd fucked you so good, you'd fallen asleep. (He thought he put you in a coma.)

Hubby!Choso who never shyed away from the opportunity to tell you all the cheesy compliments that his brain would come up with, while he cockwarmed inside you.

Hubby!Choso who never really gave you any hickeys unless you asked for them. The last thing he wanted was you experiencing any discomfort from them, or worse case scenario, you coming home saying that one of your students pointed it out. He loves when you mark him up though.

Hubby!Choso who is definietly open to having kids. He often thinks of names when the two of your are winding down for the night, tangled in each others legs, with his face buried in your plush chest.

Hubby!Choso who thinks that this is the closest to heaven he'll ever get.

Hubby!Choso who loves his wife with all of his cursed heart.

[greenandsorrow]

~Her man child~

Headcanons 📺

Vox is the definition of a manchild and I think it's kinda obvious.

He's the mean kind, acting with so much spite, sometimes without it being necessary or justified.

He NEEDS to be taken seriously. He tries so hard, blurring the lines between respect, fear and tolerance.

But when you two are alone... the telly-head man is a whiny boy.

He complains like it's a form of art. You can't help but roll your eyes playfully when he lets out a too loud sigh, but after doing so you're always ready to give him all the reassurance and attention he desperately craves.

Your man prefers being the little spoon. He's like a lap cat.

If anyone finds out about his cuddly nature, he's gonna die a second time...

Vox feels the need to constantly prove himself to Velvette and Valentino, but with you he feels safe. He can be overly emotional. And weak. And needy.

Very needy.

If you're not somewhere behind the camera admiring him and boosting his confidence, his day is ruined.

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

In the mornings he doesn't even turn on his screen... settling for the protection setting instead.

You have to be patient with him.

Bring him a steaming cup of coffee and hug him from behind and he might as well start giggling like a schoolgirl.

He's too sensitive for harsh jokes. Being in Hell means ONLY dark and cruel humour, but Vox can't take it sometimes.

His ego is fragile.

In order to feel loved, Vox has to be showered in extravagant compliments on a daily basis. Whether it's about his appearance, his job, his amazing and very interesting personality... He needs them.

When you tell him he's better than the radio demon.... he literally gets rock hard.

Vox is in a constant dilemma between showing you off for all Pentagram City to know you're his, or keeping you secret.

It's the same as a boy with his favourite toy. If other kids see his toy, he's gonna have to share.

What if someone steals his favourite toy?! Or even worse... BREAK IT?!

That being said, he doesn't objectify you, but he's terrible at showing affection or appreciation.

He's gonna be there for you, help you with anything you need, laugh with you, spend quality time with you. Still, deep communication is a difficult subject for him.

Thank god you're observant enough to catch all the messages he tries to pass to you.

Such an attention seeker though.

Have you ever seen a six year old trying to impress his crush?

Just look at Vox trying to woo you. It's the same thing.

But he's not that bad... His self-esteem is an obstacle alright, but he becomes a rug for you to step on and use as you wish most of the time.

Vox would definitely go out of his way if you asked something from him. You're his rock. It's the least he can do.

The guy even whimpers in his sleep.

Vox loves to fill his hands with your thighs when it's bed time. They're warm and soothing to him, like stress toys. Being a walking television has its disadvantages temperature wise.

He would bend you over and take you in front of a mirror so he could see himself while at it, but he hasn't done so yet. He wants to ask you beforehand and make sure it won't make you feel weird.

Vox is easy to rile up. A breathy compliment and a squeeze of his thigh and he's more than ready to go.

He doesn't actually feel dominant, but he tries to act like it. This Vee member has the stereotype man = dominance engraved in his subconsciousness and so he fights to live up to it.

But between you and me... Treat him like an inexperienced and innocent boy and he'll be crying out in pleasure.

Aka... be a femdom. Even a soft one. You won't even have to try that much.

Another thing. Vox is loud. (Like his name implies 🫣)

He also pants a lot. Almost like he's hyperventilating.

Unlike Alastor, this man is very insecure about both his performance and... size.

I'm not saying he's lacking in either though. It's just how his mind works. Always comparing himself to his opponents and in this case, his opponents are other men that could perhaps satisfy you more thoroughly than him.

Allow me to say that he fucks in an anxious way. Hands shaking and his mantra "Does that feel good to you darling?"

You just need to praise him a little. (A lot)

He doesn't last that long but he'll be sure to rub your clit so you don't either.

When it gets too real, he tears up at the end, like a baby that's holding back from crying. But you're there to hold him until he calms down.

He's usually too tired (and still nervous) afterwards for proper aftercare. Vox likes to be babied though. It's more personal attention after all.

Oh to be cleaned up and tucked to bed! Only then will he feel comfortable enough to run his fingers through your hair and mumble a faint thank you.

Vox's head has a bit of an awkward shape for cunnilingus. However, he has a surprisingly long tongue that can reach more than enough to have you moaning out how good of a boy he's being.

He usually cums in his pants while eating you out.

And when you return the favour it's usually to relieve his stress at work. He feels like a teenager when you do it. It's an act of service, really.

He low-key fucks your face, not enough to choke you but you do gag around him. It makes him feel in control. It makes him feel like a man.

To sum up, Vox is a bit dependent on you and on your validation, but he would never hurt you or become too overbearing.

He's needy, but not stupid.

He is the definition of a manchild and I think I proved my point.

But he's your manchild sis!

Support a struggling university student! Thank you so so much🫶 CLICK HERE (PayPal link)

my masterlist || Hazbin Hotel masterlist 🦷

~~~

Vox divider by @rubra-wav

Support divider by @cafekitsune

The explicit content one... I don't remember :(

~~~

[unluckiestmember]

Arcane x innocent reader? Like someone who is a literal angel?

Of course! Coming up!

Arcane X Innocent! Reader

Characters: Jinx, Vi, Viktor, Caitlyn Kiramman, Vander, Silco, Ekko, Sevika, Jayce Talis and Mel Medarda.

Tags: Fluff, established relationship, Jayce being Jayce, Jinx being Jinx, overprotectiveness, innocence and reputations trying to be kept.

Warning: None. SFW.

A/N: I adore innocent readers and OCs! I feel they have a way of bringing out the true nature of characters, especially with this kind of cast! Also sorry to everyone for taking so long, I unfortunately have a chaotic and no good life. XD

Jinx

“Hey, toots! How has ya day been? Did you miss me?! Of course you did! Come here, you cute little bunny!”

You are Jinx’s little bunny! She loves how innocent you are for someone who hangs out with her, and in a way, you keep her grounded. You are the sunshine in this dark unforgiving world. Usually she loves destroying things and making others lives harder to live.

But when it comes to you? She is extra careful. She never lets you go on missions or patrol unless she’s with you. You’re in her hideout? She’s doing safety precautions by forcing you to wear a welding mask or staying six feet away from her projects. And unless they are little trinkets and presents for you, you can’t exactly touch them unless she assists you with them. You are a porcelain doll in her eyes. She doesn’t want you to break or become corrupted at all. She’s you’re protector and your lover and she won’t let you forget that.

Violet "Vi"

“Do you know how cute you are? You’re adorable… Hey, don’t hide that face from me, I mean it. You’re adorable.”

Vi is known to be a hardass sometimes to people, but around you? She lets her true colors come out. She’s super affectionate physically and verbally, telling you how much she loves you and cherishes you. If anyone was to hurt you, she’s not just breaking their nose, she’s breaking their entire body. You are so precious. Maybe too precious to her.

She always rushes from work back home just to cuddle with you and ask how your day was. And don’t get her started on your bashful nature, she adores it so much since you only get that way around her. Does she wish you could stand up for yourself? Sometimes. But for the most part, she’s okay with it, especially since she can protect the both of you. To everyone else, she’s a wild card with muscle and snark. But to you and only you, she’s perfect.

Viktor

“Rodnaya. Did you fix my calculations?... Please, don’t fret- I’m not angry. I’m just wondering… What did I do to deserve you?”

Viktor thinks you are make believe. There is no way someone as sweet as you should exist. How can you be so in love with someone like him? He believes he can never give you what you want or need, but whenever you assure him he can, his spirits are lifted and his confidence gets a significant boost.

Whenever you are around, you make Viktor feel he can make all the progress in the world no matter what anyone says. You make him feel a little more comfortable in his skin, which is nice. But even better is the fact that because of you, he tries his best to exercise self love. This can come in the form of taking a few breaks from his project and treating himself whenever he makes a huge accomplishment. Viktor cherishes you so much and he hopes you know that no matter how nose deep he can be in work.

Caitlyn Kiramman

“Good afternoon, my darling. I didn’t keep you waiting, did I? Let me make it up to you… You’re too sweet, but I insist.”

Because of how innocent you are, Caitlyn sometimes compares you to an angel. She finds you to be a bit pure and needs to be protected. Though unlike Vi, her protective nature is more tamed. She’ll prefer protecting you with her words, choosing to ask questions regarding your well being. But if you are in physical danger, she has no problem jumping to your aid with her gun in hand to scare those who hurt you away.

You mean a lot to her and she’ll show you by inviting you to places or showing you the many gardens in Piltover. Of course, she’s not without having more personal evenings together at home, cuddled together and enjoying each other’s company. All in all, she loves you and she’s not afraid to tell or show you that.

Silco

“This life. One of hardship and poverty, is not one that you deserve. I promise, I’ll grant Zaun its independence. For all of us. For you.”

If Silco is the king of Zaun, you are his king/queen. It’ll take a while for you to get close to him because of the locks he usually has around his heart. But if you are able to cut them off with time and effort, Silco will treat you as if you are royalty. Expect him to show you off to those around you, whether it be you sitting on his lap or standing by his side.

That being said, do not expect him to shower you in kisses and snuggle up to your body. He has an image to hold, so the last thing he needs to hear from his men is that he’s gotten soft and mushy. Around them and under the eyes of Zaun, you are just his second half. But behind closed doors? You are more like his life. Just make sure you don’t tell anyone.

Ekko

“Damn, the light here really knows how to bring the beauty out of you. Are you sure you’re not an angel in disguise?”

You and Ekko have a pretty chill relationship. You’re his lover and he’s yours for the most part. He’s not overprotective, but he can have moments of being a helicopter boyfriend. You’re going on a mission? Take Scar with you. You want to go into Zaun to get something? Why doesn't he tag along to help? You would bring it up to him that you don’t always need someone with you, but your bashful nature makes it a little hard. So unless another firelight realizes what’s going on, be prepared to not go many places alone.

Outside of the following, Ekko is for the most part considerate of you and what you want. You can always find him asking you what you desire or need from him and even if you try not to answer, he will subtly find ways to get most of the unspeakable answers. 

Sevika

“Hey, we can… Cuddle later, okay? Right now, my crew is here and I don’t want to ruin my reputation.”

Compared to Silco, Sevika is more open in her relationship with you. She’ll tell everyone that you are her lover and in her own way be proud of it. That being said, she tries not to show a lot of PDA in hopes of protecting her reputation and mainly yourself. In her mind, if her group or anyone finds out you mean a lot to her, you can become a prime suspect in future kidnappings or blackmail. And she doesn’t want that for herself nor for you.

Outside of work, Sevika makes up for having to be a little distant with you. She’ll take you gambling with her and if you don’t prefer that, you guys can always hang out somewhere else. As long as you are content and safe is what matters. Sevika’s a good girlfriend, very protective. Just don’t expect her to be super verbal with her love, she prefers actions over words. But do be on the look out for a lot of teasing.

Vander

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself from picking you up, you’re too cute... Screw it, you’re all mine.”

Vander is a big ol’ teddy bear when it comes to loving you. He doesn't care if anyone at the bar comments on your relationship with him because he will waste no time picking you and showing you off like a trophy. He talks about you almost nonstop if he’s not talking about work or affairs occurring in Zaun.

When it comes to his affairs with Piltover, he makes sure you are nowhere near it. In his eyes, you are too precious to get in the middle of anything affiliated with them. Not to mention, he wouldn’t be the same if somehow you got hurt or worse. The kids need you and so does he, because with you in their lives, they feel like a complete family. You hold the hound down on a leash and he loves you for that.

Mel Medarda

“You know what? After I’m done with meetings at work, we’re doing whatever you want. How’s that sound?... Come on now, love. You have to speak up.”

When it comes to Mel, conversation is key. Which is why your relationship can feel like a relationship, but also like a class. She pushes you to speak for yourself in many situations, but doesn’t force it upon you. It’s not that she hates how innocent and bashful you can be, she just doesn’t want that to be used against you or for other’s personal gain. So if she can shape you up to speak for yourself just a tiny bit, that will make her content.

Regardless though, she enjoys your company, especially after stressful days working with the council. In a way, you two kind of act like a married couple, having an unspeakable bond, but a loving one nonetheless. 

Jayce Talis

“Yeah, the meeting was great!... Okay, fine, I skipped it- But can you blame me? Why would I want to rehash work when I could be here with you?”

If you were a dog owner, Jayce would be that golden retriever that gives you a run for your money, but makes you feel intense happiness. Every day is always something new with this man because he will give you a run for your money due to how hyper he is when he gets a new idea. Also he’s very loving around you, wanting to spend as much time with you as he can.

Though, he’s no Jinx. He knows that the both of you have lives and duties to fulfill. So he’ll give you space. But not for long. Just be ready to be working or relaxing when Jayce pops up out of nowhere to check up on you. If you forget your lunch, he’s going to deliver it to you. Forgot paperwork? He’s already on it, all you need to do is check for numerous errors. Everyone knows how you feel to date Jayce; It’s a wild ride, but a fun one that’s worth it.

Arcane requests are currently open! :D

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! <3

[honeytonedhottie]

CONFIDENCE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

i've reached a point where my confidence genuinely cannot be shaken by anything, like all the shadow work and everything is rly paying off and having confidence makes everything in life so much better so i wanna talk about it 🍭

GAINING CONFIDENCE = GAINING SELF LOVE ;

to begin with, confidence is not gained over night and its something thats built and honed with time. so be patient with yourself! confidence always stems from self love.

self love is the most important thing ever. no matter what u have to know that ur gonna love yourself thru THICK and THIN. ur the only one with u 24/7.

make ur mind a palace, treat ur body like a temple, give urself the tender love and care that u DESERVE 🧁💕

GET COMFY IN UR OWN SKIN ; 

i feel like the most confident people are dancers. i feel this way cuz of the way my own confidence SKYROCKETED after i started dancing. i feel like dancing gives u a sense of control over ur own body and its just amazing.

whenever i feel like i need a little boost of confidence or i wanna feel sexy and good in my own skin i DANCE. and i promise that it helps so so much. i dance around in my room all the time and it’s like therapy. 

embarrassment does NOT exist, stop making urself feel awkward or embarrassed for making mistakes sometimes, learn to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

MENTAL DIET ; 

honestly in my experience, manifesting has played a huge role in my self confidence and my self concept. honestly, self concept work goes hand in hand with self confidence work.

keeping a strict mental diet has made my self concept untouchable so definitely get into that. so SAY UR AFFIRMATIONS, dont EVER bully yourself etc.

SAY NO ; 

something about a confident person, they can ADVOCATE for themselves and they know how to say no/im not comfortable with _. practice saying no more and being in control of ur time.

some words that u can add to ur vocabulary to be more confident and advocate for urself properly is "absolutely not" or simply NO. theres so much power in the word NO so make sure to use it more.

THE MUSIC ; 

the music that u listen to on a regular day to day basis rly have an impact on ur mind for either better or for worse depending on what ur listening to. 

steer clear of music that talks about things like self loathing or self hate and instead go for songs that uplift you. a lot of the time when ppl bring up the relationship between the songs u listen to and ur mindset a misconception that ppl have is that like, u can’t listen to emotional or sad songs and that’s NOT TRUE. u can listen to sad songs and still be a confident, bad bitch.

HONEYS HOT TIPS ;

probably TMI but something that rly helps confidence is when u match ur bras to ur panties (IDEK WHAT IT IS) like the confidence boost is insane. when u look good -> you feel good.

again, embarrassment does NOT exist

no one is above you and no one is beneath you

surround urself with other confident individuals so that they can uplift u and u all can LEARN from each other, cuz the people u surround urself with matters.

[mscherub]

The Extrovert and the Introvert(Kalim Al-Asim x Reader)

Gender neutral reader, referred to as Y/N or Prefect!

Warnings!:

Symptoms of panic attack(ex.: labored breathing, nausea)

Little bit of negative self talk

THE GLUTTON GRIM IS >:( (love him still, he baby)

Possible spelling mistakes, I didn’t proof read it when I transferred it 💀

Word count:

Approximately 2.8k

Kalim was the polar opposite from you it seemed, he was outgoing, friendly with everyone, and loved parties, a convivial type of person, but you liked him for that, finding it fascinating how he just got along with anyone and everyone, watching from the sidelines.

The moments you and him hung out alone were never boring, and he brought a boost of confidence to your being when talking to new people. But you only ever felt like that when around him.

Ironic, the introvert and the extrovert. But, it worked out. Kalim considered you a close friend, and you considered him that as well, but it ran deeper than that, didn’t it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You never were a big party goer at all, not here, and not back in your world. You preferred to stay at home and just watch shows while snacking and playing games on whatever device you deemed fit. Sometimes you missed those quiet moments, especially in certain times like these…

The music booms loud on the stereos, people dancing away to the beat of the music, even a conga line formed of random students paraded the middle of the dance floor. Jamil is stressed out himself as he stocks up the snack tables with newly made food items, running back and forth between the kitchen, and all while keeping an eye on Kalim(poor Jamil). Kalim invited you to everyone of his parties, but you elegantly declined by saying you had to study, or that you had some job to do that Crowley gave you. But, Ace being the stupid guy he is, asked at lunch if you were going to the party. In all truth, you honestly didn’t really want to come, but when Grim heard the word “food” fall from Ace’s mouth, he was all in, and gave you the cute puppy dog eyes(kitty cat eyes?) until you reluctantly said yes to attending.

“Oh! Prefect, I think you’ll like this! It’s a specialty of the Scalding Sands! It’s amazing, try!” He beams happily as he hands you another plate with food.

Luckily Grim munches up most things on your plate, you weren’t really hungry, in fact, you were already starting to get overstimulated from the loud drums of whatever song was playing.

A headache starts to form quickly as people shout. Kalim smiles wide at you before he goes off to interact with the next group of people.

What times was it now? How long have you been here? Only 15 minutes…time couldn’t go by any slower, could it?

“Grim? You done? I think we should head out, we probably have something to study for—“

“Henchhuman, look at all the food! Can’t just leave it!”he interrupts you.

“Grim—“

“Eat now, talk later!” He hums as he stuffs his cheeks full of what seemed to be baklava and various other items.

Your head pounded even more now, and you found it a bit harder to breathe, and also a nauseating feeling starting to build up. Grim will be fine, you just need to get some fresh air and then maybe things will get better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Navigating through the crowd is difficult, people bump into you from your left and to your right, always knocking you into someone else, causing you to have to apologize time and time again. Your breathing begins to get a bit more labored and your vision a little blurry.

You don’t realize as you walk that you’ve somehow ended up in the middle of the room, people glancing at you with questioning looks. You swallow thickly and you feel your breathing begin to quicken even more.

You shouldn’t have come. You shouldn’t have come, look at them all staring at you, you need to get out—

A hand touches your shoulder gently, causing you to jump.

You turn your head…It’s Kalim.

“Prefect? You seem a little out of it, here, follow me, I know a quieter spot.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kalim acts like an airhead most times, and truthfully, he is, but he wasn’t that stupid. He can tell when something seems wrong with the people he cares about, I mean he literally has over 30 younger siblings, him being the oldest of the bunch, so he has some experience in telling whether someone is doing fine or not. Of course he does lack most basic social cues, but he tries his best to understand.

He quietly leads you out to the hallways of Scarabia, the cold, night desert air blowing gently, shocking you back into reality. He keeps a hand on your shoulder as he leads you further and further away, the obnoxious belabor of the music fading into just a faint murmur.

“Prefect, are you ok? Do you need anything? I can go get it for you.” He says, his eyes unusually shaped with worry.

You clear your dry throat as you finally begin to calm down. How embarrassing, completely and utterly embarrassing. Having a panic attack at a party—

“Prefect? You with me still?” Kalim shakes your shoulder gently. You look into his eyes and take a breath in.

“I’m, ok. I guess.” You murmur out. Kalim sighs and he smiles again.

“Good! Hey, I’ll be back, I’ll go get you a water.” He hums as he quickly leaves.

You sigh and you rub your temples, leaning against the wall. Tears prick the corner of your eyes but you quickly wipe them away with your sleeves. Phew, finally away from the party.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kalim comes back a few minutes later, holding a water bottle and…another plate of food.

“I didn’t know what you wanted.” He sighs as he looks at the stuff. He sits down on the ground, waiting for you to do the same, which you do. You look at him.

“Water, here.” He pushes a water bottle into your hands.

“Oh, do I need to open it for you? I usually have Jamil open mine—“

Was he serious?

“I got it, thank you, though.” You murmur out as you crack the bottle open and sip on it.

“What happened? Ah, I mean, if you wanna tell me.” He stammers. He looks concerned. You look into his eyes again and quickly shift your gaze over to look at a potted plant in a corner that is seemingly more interesting at the moment.

“I guess…I just had a panic attack? I’m not a huge fan of uh…parties.” You whisper out.

You look back over at him nervously, I mean, you just told the guy who loved parties you basically hated going to the plethora of ones he hosted and that you avoided them by fabricating up assignments, but he didn’t seem sad, or disappointed at all.

Kalims eyes softened and he scoots closer to you, hugging you.

“Sorry, prefect. I didn’t know that. How stupid of me! I don’t like seeing you sad, actually I love seeing you smile so, don’t feel bad! I don’t want any of my friends to be sad…especially not you.” He mumbles, the last part of his sentence more so of a whisper to himself. He pulls away and smiles again.

“Maybe I’ll host just a tiny party later on? Would that work?” He beams.

I don’t know if he understood the part of “you not being a huge fan of parties,” but a less crowded one you could probably deal with…I suppose there was really no way of changing his nature.

“Yea, that sounds good.” You sigh as you fidget with the water bottle in your hands. Kalim bounces slightly and smiles wider.

“Awesome! Hey, while Grim binges out, would you maybe wanna go for a carpet ride?” He whispers with a smirk on his face.

“Maybe it’ll help to clear your head a bit more!”

Your eyes go a little wider and you look at him. One stressful situation and now he’s trying to put you into another one? This guy…

“Do you trust me?” He murmurs as he takes one of your hands in his.

Do you trust him? Of course you do. He gives you a pout, his pleading sparkling eyes swaying you instantly.

“I…sure. Yes, I trust you, Kalim.” You stammer out. You take a breath and watch as he jumps up, pulling you up next. He grips your hand in his and drags you to the treasury where the carpet usually was, all while humming a tune happily

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kalim gets on the carpet and holds out his hand to you. You take it and he helps hoist you up.

“All good?” He asks as he looks at you expectantly. You nod and you scoot more towards the middle of the carpet. Kalim sits up front closer to the edge, smiling wide.

He looks back at you, watching you as you hold onto whatever your hands can grip for dear life. “You can trust carpet. He’s good at this.” He giggles. And then—

You squeeze your eyes shut as the carpet descends into the starlit sky, going higher and higher, the wind picking up and ruffling your clothes and hair. “I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die,” is all you can think at the moment, and even opening your eyes just a sliver was a scary thought. But, you’re pulled from your thoughts quickly as you feel a pair of arms wrap around you, and you instinctively wrap your arms back around him.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes. Look! It’s pretty, believe me, perfect.” He laughs. You crack one eye open, then the other, and now? You can’t even blink.

The stars twinkle brightly, practically smiling down upon you two as the carpet glides seamlessly through the air. The moon’s celestial light gracing and bathing each of your features with a silvery glow. You slowly relax and loosen your grip from around him.

The desert below looks so small now compared to the large, jet black sky that sparkled.

“Woah…” is all you can manage to choke out.

“I know, right? Glad you trusted me, Y/N…” he smiles softly

“It’s like…a, a whole new world.” You whisper.

All of it was an ethereal sight, and, who knew how bucolic the sky could be up so close? You’d never take this for granted, that was for sure.

You turn your head back and smile widely at Kalim, the weight of what happened being lifted off your shoulders. His smile widens as well and he bounces up and down again.

“There! You smiled again! Good, good! Welcome back, prefect!” He exclaims, gesticulating just how happy he was with big gestures of his arms, which in turn, caused the carpet to move a bit, sending you to hold onto him again.

He laughs heartily and looks you in the eyes, his smile fading into a softer one.

“I’m sorry about earlier again. I know Grim dragged you there but, I never really thought you didn’t want to be there, I was just happy you were. Just me being stupid as usual, right?” He sighs, shaking his head.

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine, really, for not doing well in those settings—“

“Hey, don’t say that. It’s not your fault. It’s far from yours!” He scolds, though his voice lacks any bite to it.

“It’s just who you are. I’ll try and be better, I promise, be more considerate. I have been getting better! Jamil thinks so, but, it’s hard to tell with him.” He purses his lips, looking over at the moon.

“I’m like you, too, opposite, though. I’m nervous when I’m alone, instead.” He chuckles solemnly. He looks back at you.

“Ahhh…there I go again.” He grumbles. “Anyways, we should go back before Grim worries where you are.” He hums.

You don’t think Grim is the most bothered by any of this, I mean, the guy has got a whole table full of food, he’s definitely content. Tough, Jamil probably is the more worried considering how long Kalim has been out of his sight. Gotta feel bad for the guy.

Kalim shifts away from you and takes hold of the tassels on the carpet. He looks back at you again.

“Hold on!” He guffaws. You take that as a sign to scramble behind and wrap your arms around him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The descent down was…scary…but you both were alive. Kalim walks happily with a pep in his step as you both make your way back to where the party was being held. You pause just outside the large double doors as Kalim goes to open them. He flashes you a small smile and heads in, leaving you alone.

A few minutes later an exasperated Jamil exists through the door, holding grim by the scruff.

“Take him and leave.” He sighs as he pushes Grim into your arms.

“And, if you leave somewhere with Kalim, for the love of the seven, please tell me first.” He huffs, face palming.

“Have a goodnight. Be safe.”He murmurs before going back to hold down the fort.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As soon As you got back to Ramshackle, Grim was out like a light from having eaten too much. He curled up on the edge of the bed as usual, leaving you to get ready for bed yourself, silently slipping into your sleepwear.

You get into bed, the sweet lull of peaceful dreams pulling you to sleep.

Tap. Tap. Knock.

You flutter your eyes open and look over at your window anxiously, but it’s the furthest thing from anything scary. It’s Kalim. You get out of bed and flip up the locks on your window.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper. Kalim was seated on his carpet just outside your window.

“I wanted to check on you again. You’re better now, right?” He whispers back.

How sickeningly sweet of him.

“I’m doing better. Thank you. The carpet ride really helped to…calm me down.” Your eyes meet his. He places his hands on the windowsill and moves in closer.

“Good. Honestly, I don’t know why I came. I couldn’t go to sleep without knowing you were going to be ok just one last time. Weird isn’t it?” He sighs.

“Also, Jamil got mad at me.” He frowns. “If you got some backlash from him I’m sorry. Not intended!” He pouts. You chuckle and shake your head.

How cute.

“Jamil just told me to warn him next time. And, thanks for worrying about me…still. It’s sweet of you, but I’m ok now.” You smile. Your hand gently sitting atop his as an extra added bonus of reassurance. “You sure you came here just to check on me, though? You could have just messaged me, y’know?” You giggled.

He looks at you surprised for a moment but then chuckles, his cheeks dusted with a faint hint of pink as he glances away.

“Slipped my mind. You know me.” He chortles. He shakes his head and looks back at you.

“I’m glad you’re, ah, ok.” He sighs. “I guess goodnight then?” He purses his lips. “Goodnight, Kalim. And, no crowded parties for me.” You chuckle.

Kalim chuckles along with you and nods. There’s a comfortable silence between you two as you just gaze at each other.

Who knows what takes over, but you lean in and kiss his cheek gently. AHHHHH, OK, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT!! ABORT, ABORT!

You pull away, your cheeks redder than a tomato at this point.

“I- that…why did I do that? Kalim, I’m sorry that was—“ you stammer but then stop as you look back at Kalim who is as red as you. You feel the guilt start to build up.

“Now I know why.” He murmurs out, his eyes wide. You look at him confused, guilty, embarrassed, all of the above, expecting him to push you away but—

“It makes sense why my heart speeds up when around you now. I thought it was just because I finally found a good friend but…it runs deeper than that.” He whispers. His eyes soften as he looks at you.

“Look at me being stupid again! I would have planned a much nicer venue, or maybe have something cute prepared at least or just something to confess…” he pouts. He moves his hands and holds onto yours.

“I like you, perfect.” He states, proudly, too.

You’re baffled. Robbed of words. Lost. Was this happening? Hello, pinch me, if this is some sick messed up dream this is super unfair!

He squeezes your hands gently again, looking down at them intertwined, running his thumb over your knuckles. You clear your throat and hold his hands back.

“I like you, too.” You murmur out. Kalim looks back into your eyes and sighs. He giggles happily and moves your hand to his heart which is beating oh so rapidly.

“I like you. A lot. Too much. Ahhhhh, I’m happy.” He says all giddy. He laughs breathily and moves to hug you tight, burying his face in your neck.

“So…this means?” You murmur out as you hug him back. He simply nods. (Give him a few moments, it’s a lot to process.)

He pulled away, his eyes glossy. Was he seriously crying?

“I have to tell Jamil, this’ll be—“

“Ah…maybe not yet, Kalim.”

Idek what I was on when I wrote this…enjoy anyways, LOL. Anyhow…how many references did I make to Aladdin in this? Just a small trivia question if you feel like answering :D

Also we’re getting hit with a snowstorm so I have more time to write!!!

Master list

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)