#someone FUCK ME TO SLEEP
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im HORNY
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seeing other trans people be happy and enjoy being trans is not a threat to you. to doubt their transness because they're (perceived as to be) not as miserable as you is, however, a threat to them. - transmonstera
[IMAGE ID: "to measure the validity of other transsexuals by their misery is to hold the cissexual narrative higher than your own right to joy" in bold white text. the background is a number of yellow measuring tapes and rulers. the base of the measuring tapes has a sad face sticker on the side. the background is solid black. END]
#got annoyed at someone on instagram implying i wasn't really trans because i'm not miserable and crying myself to sleep every night#you are not more trans than me fuck off and grow up.#trans art#collage art#collage#transsexual#transgender#transmasc#transfem#nonbinary#trans joy#trans happiness#lgbt#queer#transmonstera
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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i need someone to free me i cant live like this
#this is the most ship art ive done in such a short time frame istg#theyre not even my fav mcyt ship what the fuck is happening#they have literally been in the back of my head for the last bloody week#literally 4:30 am and my body wouldnt let me sleep until i got this doodle out of my head#someone cue that smiling friends clip of the guy screaming GET OUT OF MY HEAD#thats me right now#grimpulse#hermitshipping#to the artist i found who infected me with this#i blame you#<3#aight bedtime now before i lose my mind and make another one-#lemonywings art
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going “wtf r u good ?” or#“ew keep me out of your brain freak”#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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This idea popped into my head and I couldn't let it go, enjoy
#i spent way too fucking long on this so y'all better appreciate it 😂#this movie has such a special place in my heart#as someone who did theatre and went to a weird ass sleep away camp#i couldn't help but fall in love with this film#critical role#critrole#critrole memes#bells hells#bell's hells#theater camp 2023#theatre#orym of the air ashari#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#laudna#chetney pock o'pea#imogen temult#dorian storm#braius doomseed#cr spoilers#cr memes#cr shitpost#courtesy of me#cr campaign three#crit role#critrole meme#cr3#cr c3
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albus "I hope I die first, because I can't live without you" potter
and
scorpius "I hope I die second, so I can save you from that grief" malfoy
#i spent a very long time debating which way around they would be#had me sweating#do you love someone so much you cannot live without them#or love them so much you hope they never have to live without you#personally am the first ✋🏻 my fiance better fucking die after me i cannot be doing that#i know im fucking jinxing it rn#absolutely horrendous we cannot die at exactly the same time im suing#if we do die together in a car crash or smin just know that that is the best case scenario for us lmfao#jilys death is honestly the dream 🤞🏻😍 take us out together or dont take us out at all#i cannot imagine scorbus dying seperately im gonna be honest#imagine one of them at the others grave im going to throw up#absolutely not#headcanon that they die by fucking up a potion or even just dinner and setting their house on fire and dying of smoke inhalation together <#hashtag romance 😍😍😍😍😍😍#scorbus#hpcc#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#harry potter#its 6am i havent gone to sleep yet hope this is coherent 😚😚#harry potter and the cursed child#albus severus potter#scorpius hyperion malfoy
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do i Look normal about them
for the sake of the joke, we're ignoring the whole okiya subaru | akai shuichi | kudou yusaku | edogawa conan | kudou shinichi ordeal that episode 781 had going on, okay. that's just furuya coming to akai to file another complaint.
og posts are linked below the cut !!
otpbutmakeitspicy with i suffer from 'men are hotter banged up' disease (preach)
whatsappauntie with ever since i was a little girl i think might have been deleted since the link and qrts dont work
H1TWOM4N with punished for my jests (+1 for the image)
fic tagged as "trust me" i say as i drive backwards (fandom: spiderman)
link to drug dealer? no man. hug dealer. come here (via me because i don't know what rb etiquette there is)
clouis-loumentine with what is a rival (again, sorry, via me because the link doesn't work ??)
ft-an with called you bro but im kinda in love with you
teaboot with the found family
theft etc is from a fic i wrote. the title was not chose intentionally and it's not even for dcmk (actually 'i wrote' is a lie. its an abandoned little child, oops)
jessecase with the extreme cold alert with the recommendation to check up on your local elderly fbi agent
oate and the ongoing argument
#IF I GOT SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE TELL ME#im posting this b4 going to sleep and i am so tired im not sure if this fits together#like if link doesnt work or the ALT is completely fucked up#dcmk spoilers#detective conan spoilers#case closed spoilers#if someone can comprehend okiya subaru | akai shuichi | kudou yusaku | edogawa conan | kudou shinichi enough for it to be a spoiler ig#anyway. yeah im back on my bs#dcmk#detective conan#case closed#magic kaito#kuroba kaito#kaitou kid#koizumi akako#haibara ai#furuya rei#amuro tooru#akai shuichi#okiya subaru#edogawa conan#hattori heiji#heishin#for the soul#hakuba saguru#im so sorry to not have found a screencap w him in it fr :(#dcmk textposts#<- the collection (as always)#was anyone going to tell me i had this tagged as “haib” and “furuy” respectively or was i supposed to find out myself
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nothing to boil the blood in the morning quite like coming across an etsy page of AI generated furry adopts and going "okay, well, surely no one's *buying* these seven fingered airbrushed freaks," but, alas. almost 600 sales. making literal hundreds of dollars off of stolen work. fuck off and blow up.
#moo.txt#im still sleep deprived and this is actually making me want to bite ppl in half#just fucking spit on the artist while youre at it why dont you#for fucking shame to the 500+ people buying this garbage.#posting this to my art blog bc my stance on ai is very harshly the equivalent of stealing someones lineart and selling it with even less#effort#generating say. funny mario smoke a blunt is VERY different from generating art from stolen work#and fucking selling it like you did anything but type a prompt into a box#fuck OFF fuck off#aaarurugh#scum of the earth. suck my dick and balls from behind
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i downloaded that app that lets you customize your own soundscapes because i was like well this probably still won't be for me but i'll try it out just to see. first i set up a cafe with loud babble so i could eavesdrop on the table next to me, but there was only about 2 minutes of recorded audio. so once i memorized the conversation, i moved on to an irish coastal seascape, where i discovered that you can set the sliders to "drowning in the open ocean." that legitimately relaxed me so much that my headache went away but after about 20 minutes my brain adapted enough for the Voices (TM) to return, so i turned to a thunderstorm where all the thunder sliders were turned up to 100% power. so you feel like you're in the middle of bullshit tornado country. after all this i discovered there's a haunted mansion soundscape already so. i guess i'll get some mileage out of this thing yeah.
#app is myNoise. not a sponsored post i just figure someone will ask.#i don't know how to make any of the other soundscapes on there have enough peril to put me to sleep but we'll see.#context for ppl who havent been following me forever: guided meditations reassurances and peaceful soundscapes Freak Me The Fuck Out#conversely horror/danger makes my brain go 'oh that's what i'm sensing. this fake sound. we're in no real danger. goodnight 💕'#is this backwards for most people. yes. does it work for me. unequivocallyyy
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I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.
Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.
Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.
Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?
#this spurred from a series of posts about kevin always fumbling the men in his life#and yeah. he really is always second place#he supposedly ends up with thea which. what the fuck.#to me that alone speaks volumes about how out of everyone in aftg he is the one that starts and end basically at the same level of struggle#this is also about the part in the EC where he talks to wymack about Bee#and look i love bee and Andrews’s relationship he really does deserve her#but kevin is right to say that she is his and he can't have her#they text each other#kevin needs and deserves to have his own therapist#someone that is his alone#it breaks my heart to think about this boy#he wont even ask for it#he says: she's Andrew's#and that's it to him#it is true and unchangeable and nothing can be done ablut it#and never thinks okay maybe someone else could be to me what she is to him#and no one else says it either#im sleep deprived this is killing me i had to get it out#kevin day#you deserve the world#nobody even wanted to listen to you talk about history#you are easier to deal with when drunk#you don't have to words nor will to fight them on either of these fronts#you ask once and when you are denied you neverask again dont you#aftg#these are the types of people that end up killing themselves and everyone is surprised at first and then goes...oh yeah he had a hard time#but we couldn't imagine it was that bad#we wish he told us
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Warren Kole is so fucking fine and someone's getting that Texan dick every day and it's not me and for that I need to bang my head against a wall.
#it's 5am someone tell me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep#i need that man loooooorddddddddd have mercy#warren kole#phillip graves
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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literally atp my main desire for iwtv going forward is that they dont tone down the fact that everyone is obsessed with eachother. Yes, because thats how 70 percent of the plot happens in the first place but also because im so petty and the "who is in love with who" arguing makes me want to shoot this place up
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#char.txt#had someone send me an ask 2 weeks ago being like ''lesmand cant happen cuz they were never together''#and i was so kind and didnt give them an itemized list of lesmand being so weird about eachother in just TVA alone#and knowing that amc is going to give louis a much bigger part- we have got to accept#that everyone is fucking everyone and people confess undying love for another character like every other chapter#but some of yall couldn't even believe that armand was sleeping around with the coven so ykw maybe its hopeless LMAOOO
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