#more hallucinations or give me death
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going âwtf r u good ?â or#âew keep me out of your brain freakâ#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits#does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate#he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly#plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously#he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist#the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to#a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks#and having fun with it#i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together#and there is so much to say abt him#also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death#yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that#tf2#medic#tf2 medic#medic tf2#team fortress 2
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WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST
Welcome to Whumptober 2024 â Seventh Time's a Charm!
Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.
This yearâs AO3 Collection can be found here.
This year's playlist can be found here.
The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.
And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.
Weâre very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!
Best of luck and happy whumping,
Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro
(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)
Whumptober 2024 Prompt List
No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK
Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.â (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)
No. 2: TRUST ISSUES
Amusement Park | Role Reversal | âYou got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.â (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)
No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE
Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."
No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS
Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | âYou're still alive in my head.â (Billy Lockett, More)
No. 5: SUNBURN
Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)
No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."
No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES
Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."
No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION
Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)
No. 9: OBSESSION
Broken Window | Bruises | âFrame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.â (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)
No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD
Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."
No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE
Convenience Store | Loneliness | âLeave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.â (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)
No. 12: STARVATION
Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."
No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY
Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)
No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD
Hunting Gear | Blackmail | âBecause I want you to know what it feels like to be hauntedâ (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)
No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"
No. 16: NECROSIS
Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."
No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."
No. 18: REVENGE
Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | âI see what's mine and take it.â (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)
No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL
Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)
No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST
Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."
No. 21: BODY HORROR
Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | âLet the bedsheet soak up the tears.â (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)
No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES
Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."
No. 23: FORCED CHOICE
Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."
No. 24: RADIATION POISONING
Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | âI never knew daylight could be so violent.â (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)
No. 25: SURGERY
Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."
No. 26: NIGHTMARES
Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | âI'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.â (Poe, Haunted)
No. 27: VOICELESS
Laboratory | Muzzled | âI have no mouth and I must scream.â
No. 28: DENIAL
CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."
No. 29: FATIGUE
Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"
No. 30: RECOVERY
Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"
No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP
Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)
Alternatives List:
Body Swap
Communication Barrier
Finding Old Messages
Forgotten
Friendly Fire
Motion Sickness
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown
Regret
Secrets Revealed
Shivering
Survivor's Guilt
Time Loop
Used As Bait
Venom
Vermin
Event Info & Rules
WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way youâd like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you donât have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is âflame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an âold flameâ - an old relationship. Itâs truly down to you!
In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.
Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you donât have to do ALL the prompts if you donât want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.
When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:
#whumptober2024 âŠ..(the event tag)
#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, âŠ..(theme number)
#bruises, #stabbing, âŠ..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)
#altprompt âŠ..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)
#fandom or #OC, âŠ..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)
#medium âŠ..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)
#teeth, #etc âŠ..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add âtwâ in front but only use the word/trigger itself)
#nsfwhump âŠ..(only for nsfw content)
#your own tags go here
PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]
Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.
Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Please read this before you send an ask!
TIMELINE
July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. Itâs up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.
PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION
Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this yearâs prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? Weâll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And youâre not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if youâre writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, itâs okay if that fic isnât finished by the time October ends, youâll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though itâs only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.
PROMPTS
Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you donât like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a characterâs mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as youâd like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you donât have to produce 31 separate works.
WORKS
Q: Whatâs whump? Hurting a character, whether thatâs physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if itâs whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic âwhumpee,â OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything weâre not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, itâs fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.
POSTING
Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You donât even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if itâs not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldnât it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We wonât be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a dayâs themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. Weâll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, thatâs fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! Weâve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (donât out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).
Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!
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Poison list
While it's important to approach writing with creativity and imagination, it's crucial to prioritize responsible and ethical storytelling. That being said, if you're looking for information on poisons for the purpose of writing fiction, it's essential to handle the subject matter with care and accuracy. Here is a list of some common poisons that you can use in your stories:
Hemlock: Hemlock is a highly poisonous plant that has been used as a poison in various works of literature. It can cause paralysis and respiratory failure.
Arsenic: Arsenic is a toxic element that has been historically used as a poison. It can be lethal in high doses and can cause symptoms such as vomiting, abdominal pain, and organ failure.
Cyanide: Cyanide is a fast-acting poison that affects the body's ability to use oxygen. It can cause rapid loss of consciousness and cardiac arrest.
Nightshade: Nightshade plants, such as Belladonna or Deadly Nightshade, contain toxic compounds that can cause hallucinations, respiratory distress, blurred vision, dizziness, an increased heart rate, and even death when ingested.
Ricin: Ricin is a potent poison derived from the castor bean plant. It can cause organ failure and has been used as a plot device in various fictional works.
Strychnine: Strychnine is a highly toxic alkaloid that affects the nervous system, leading to muscle spasms, convulsions, and respiratory failure.
Snake Venom: Various snake venoms can be used in fiction as deadly poisons. Different snake species have different types of venom, each with its own effects on the body.
Digitalis: Digitalis, derived from the foxglove plant, contains cardiac glycosides. It has been historically used to treat heart conditions, but in high doses, it can be toxic. Overdosing on digitalis can cause irregular heart rhythms, nausea, vomiting, and visual disturbances.
Lead: Lead poisoning, often resulting from the ingestion or inhalation of lead-based substances, has been a concern throughout history. Lead is a heavy metal that can affect the nervous system, leading to symptoms such as abdominal pain, cognitive impairment, anemia, and developmental issues, particularly in children.
Mercury: Mercury is a toxic heavy metal that has been used in various forms throughout history. Ingesting or inhaling mercury vapors can lead to mercury poisoning, causing symptoms like neurological impairment, kidney damage, respiratory issues, and gastrointestinal problems.
Aconite: Also known as Wolfsbane or Monkshood, aconite is a highly toxic plant. Its roots and leaves contain aconitine alkaloids, which can affect the heart and nervous system. Ingesting aconite can lead to symptoms like numbness, tingling, paralysis, cardiac arrhythmias, and respiratory failure.
Thallium: Thallium is a toxic heavy metal that can cause severe poisoning. It has been used as a poison due to its tastelessness and ability to mimic other substances. Thallium poisoning can lead to symptoms like hair loss, neurological issues, gastrointestinal disturbances, and damage to the kidneys and liver.
When incorporating poisons into your writing, it is essential to research and accurately portray the effects and symptoms associated with them. Additionally, be mindful of the potential impact your writing may have on readers and the importance of providing appropriate context and warnings if necessary.
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Wait for your love | jjk
â Â pairing: firefighter!jungkook x female readerÂ
â Â genre: kind of exes to lovers, parents au, angst, fluff, and smutÂ
â rating: 18+Â
â Â summary: sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation â none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your schoolâs team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
â Â words: 17,383
â Â warnings: strong language, car accident, blood, mention of pregnancy, mention of cheating, mention of divorce, mention of sex, sever injuries, mention of death, crying, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, oc suffers quite a lot, mention of unprotected sex, mention of fire, mention of fighting, kissing, pain struggle, tattooed!jungkook, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, praising, oc and jungkook are needy, choking, a bit of fingering, a bit of handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, morning sex, slow sex (is it even a thing?), and creampie
â authorâs note: so here you finally have this fic đ€ iâve been working on it for a little while already & iâve adored writing it! To be honest, this is my fav jk that iâve ever written đ«ŁI truly hope youâll enjoy this fic as much as iâve enjoyed writing it âš donât hesitate to let me know what you think of it â€ïž
â playlist: supernatural | forget about us | standing next to you | bed chem | juno
MASTERLIST
The sound of the sirens echoes in your ears.
Your eyes are completely shut, your entire body hurts, and you put your hand on your head as if youâre trying to stop the pain youâre feeling. Slowly you try to open your eyes, and you see the completely broken windshield of your car. You take a look around to notice how damaged the inside of your car is.
Itâs pretty bad.
Your eyes flutter shut once more, the effort to keep them open too much to bear. Gradually, you feel yourself falling asleep. As you slip into slumber, your mind is drawn back to a painful memory â the day you gave your son up for adoption. Â
Being a teen mother wasnât on your plans. Even though you really wanted to become a mother, it simply wasnât possible then. Having a kid at sixteen wouldnât be easy and for sure, you wouldnât be able to offer a proper life to that kid. It wouldnât be fair to him to keep him only because you wished to become a mother. He deserved to have a good life, to have loving parents, and to accomplish all his dreams.
On top of that, the baby was living proof that you cheated on your then-boyfriend. Definitely, you werenât proud of yourself. The father of your baby was a bit of a jerk, but, when he found out about your pregnancy, he showed nothing but support. It was surprising, but it felt great to have him by your side.
Giving your son up for adoption was devastatingly hard. But it was the best for him. After that, you spent the last sixteen years wondering what he had become. Every boy you met thatâd match his age; youâd wonder if it was him. And sometimes, youâd regret abandoning him. In those moments, crying was the only solution.
As hard as possible, you resist the urge to fall asleep, but the headache is making this battle hard to fight.
âMa'am,â you hear a distant voice.
Those words echo in your mind, and strangely, it feels like this voice is a familiar one. The pain must be causing some hallucination, you think. But as hard as you can, you try to find out who could be the owner of that voice.
While you think, your eyes open a bit before closing again. Your hand remains on your head, and suddenly, you remember who it is. It is the father of your firstborn.
As you realize who it might be, you shake your head. Itâs impossible to be him. After the birth of your baby, you went separate ways and never heard of him anymore. Sometimes, you hope to meet him again to check what he has become.
That man was handsome as hell so youâre absolutely sure that he found someone, got married, and had children. From time to time, you think about him and wonder if he also thinks about your baby as much as you do. Maybe he doesnât since youâre convinced he has new children to think of.
But thatâs silly of you to think that because after your firstborn, you had three other adorable children: two girls, Jia and Jiwoo, and a little boy, Jeong. Being their mother and caring about them never made you forget about your first.
On top of being a mother, you also got married to Minkyu. You met him three years after giving birth, and you were convinced he was the love of your life. However, you ended up divorcing after eight years of marriage. It wasnât easy, you felt like a total failure. Now, youâre living on your own, sharing custody of your three babies with your ex-husband. Luckily, you remained on good terms, youâd even say youâre friends now.
For the past two years, youâve been focusing on yourself which means no relationships. But that doesnât exclude one-night stands. Youâre very careful as you donât want your children to one day stumble upon one of the guys youâve been fucking with. And you also want to avoid getting pregnant again.
When you planned on stopping the pill to have a child with Minkyu, your gynecologist told you that you seemed to be the fertile type. She was quite right since you got pregnant right after stopping the pill. In three years, you had three kids. So, it explains it all. And it also explains how you easily got pregnant at sixteen, the only time you didnât use protection.
Now, youâre wondering if this is how your life ends. Youâve last seen your kids four days ago, youâre probably never going to fall in love again, and youâre never going to see your firstborn. This is a tragic way to die. Your mind only thinks about your babies.
Although your mind feels disconnected from your body, you sense a pair of strong arms lifting you up. Â Your body is completely sore, and even being held in someoneâs arms is painful. The person is talking to you, or at least talking to someone but your brain doesnât process the words at all. Â Â
Then, the pain knocks you up.
Jungkook and his team got called for a car accident involving several cars, and when they arrived, the scene was horrific.
There are probably five cars pressed and smashed one against the other. There are people injured and bleeding walking around the scene. Paramedics are already taking care of them, but Jungkook is walking to the cars to retrieve the people stuck inside. His captain screams orders and tells him which car he should go to.
His eyes look around, his heart breaking when he sees everyone involved and still stuck in their cars. Visions like this are quite common for him, it doesnât happen all the time but itâs still recurrent. At the end of the day, his job is to save people in this type of situation.
When he reaches the car, he was assigned to, he takes a look at how many people there are inside. Thereâs just one person, a woman behind the steering wheel. She has her hand on her head, clearly showing that she might have a headache. She doesnât really move. Instantly, Jungkook tries to open the door, but itâs showing a bit of resistance.
It feels impossible to open the door, but Jungkook sees the womanâs head falling. Heâs getting worrier; sheâs slumping into sleep which isnât a good sign as she was holding her head barely seconds ago. He then proceeds to break the window so he can try to open it from inside. There are other possible ways, but it would be harder and more dangerous to get her out of the vehicle.
âMaâam,â he says with urge.
Eventually, he manages to open the damn door from the inside. A good part of the carâs front is crashing into her. Before even thinking of taking her out, he places a cervical collar to protect her neck and spine.
âMaâam,â he repeats. âCan you hear me?â
She doesnât answer at all. Jungkook gets closer, his fingers brushing the hair from her face, but when he finally gets to properly see the womanâs face, his heart skips a beat. This woman is none other than you. His mind canât start to get lost in the past right now. He needs to focus on taking you out of the car. Â Â
Youâre in pretty bad shape.
Thereâs blood on your forehead, you most probably have a wound on top of your head. Thereâs also blood at the level of your stomach, turning your green shirt into a very dark color. He can distinguish a big fragment of glass shoved into your belly. It doesnât look good. Your legs are also completely smashed by the front, causing the steering wheel to be very close to your body.  Hopefully, your legs arenât too injured. He doesnât even want to start thinking about all the bruises on your body.
Slowly, he places one hand behind your back while his other hand slowly pushes your legs. Heâs trying to be as careful as possible to avoid causing any other injury. Â His strong arms hold you once he manages to fully remove you from the car. His eyes look down at your face with evident pain. He notices how youâre trying to open your eyes which makes him think that youâre trying to fight the urge to fall asleep.
âYn,â he says while walking to an ambulance. âPlease, stay with me,â he whispers with despair. âIâve finally found you, and I canât lose you right away.â
A tear streams down his face as Jungkook begins to run. âFuck, fuck,â he mumbles when he realizes that youâve now fallen asleep. Â âHelp me here,â he shouts to some paramedics.
Two people run in his direction with a stretcher, and he carefully places you there. His eyes never leave you until youâre placed inside an ambulance.
Never did he think heâd find you like this. For the past sixteen years, he imagined the many ways heâd stumble upon you. He thought of meeting you randomly one day in the streets, in a shop, or even in a restaurant. Meeting you after a car crash wasnât on his mind at all.
Jungkook then proceeds to take care of the other people stuck in their cars. His job isnât over yet, other people are waiting for his help. Thankfully enough, after so many years of experience, heâs able to focus on what he has to do.
Slowly, you open your eyes. Instinctively, you place your hand on your head since you last remember having a headache, but it doesnât hurtâat least not anymore. For a brief moment, you close your eyes again while trying to understand what happened. Â
Once you open your eyes once more, you look around to realize that youâre lying on a hospital bed. Youâre in a room, an individual one. Although youâre alone in a room, can hear many people talking outside.
In the midst of all the noise, you distinguish your sisterâs voice. You canât really understand what sheâs saying but she seems worried. Somebody is talking to her, but you donât recognize the voice. After a little while, your sister opens the door to join you.
A smile appears on her face when she sees you awake. âYn,â she says before hugging you. You wrap your arms around her, sheâs holding you tight. Thereâs no need for her to speak for you to understand she was dead worried. It also leaves you wondering if youâre really in a bad situation. Â When she finally takes a step back, you can see how worried she is.
âI was death worried,â she says. âI thought you died.â
Those words crunch your heart. The simple thought of picturing your sister thinking that is heartbreaking. However, youâre still here. Maybe not in your best shape but youâre still alive.
âDeath was too afraid of me,â you jokingly say.
âItâs not funny,â sheâs definitely annoyed that youâre joking. âItâs very bad, yn.â
Her eyes donât betray her, it doesnât look great. For sure, itâs bad since you remember seeing your car completely destroyed. Memories of the car crash come back. It happened quite fast. The car in front of you didnât notice the car on the left. Two vehicles in front of you suddenly collided with each other. Due to the small distance and minimal reaction time, you were unable to stop in time, which led to you colliding into the cars. The same happened to the cars behind colliding into you.
âTwo people died in the crash, yn, and the doctors didnât give me many details when they called me,â she explains.
âHow long have I been here?â you ask.
It leaves you wondering how long it has been since the car crash happened.
âAlmost two days,â she informs.
âOh,â you simply say.
Your sister then proceeds to explain to you that you went through a couple of surgeries.
When you arrived, you had a glass shoved into your stomach and it caused some damage. You were bleeding internally so you first had surgery to remove the glass and stitch any part of your intestines that needed to be repaired.
On top of that, your knees were destroyed and a part of your hips was broken. So after the stomach surgery, you went through a long surgery to repair your knees, and later on, another one to repair your hips.
Your sister doesnât know the specificities of the surgeries, but those surgeries are already a lot. She also tells you that you evidently have bruises and scratches all over your body. It definitely sounds bad, but youâre under the influence of painkillers so you donât really feel anything so far.
âWhere are Jia, Jiwoo, and Jeong?â you ask looking around.
âMinkyu took them back home a couple of hours ago,â she tells you.
If your sister was dead worried, you canât even start to imagine how your kids were feeling. You have such a strong bond with them, and they are still so young; your little Jiwoo is only four years old. You donât even doubt that they started imagining the worst.
âHow are they?â you ask.
âAs you can imagine, itâs been harder for them than for anyone else,â your heart aches. âTheyâve been crying a lot.â
You close your eyes, holding back the tears. It breaks your heart to have put your babies through this. Even though itâs far from being your fault, you never want to hurt your babies like that. Your role as a mother is to protect them.
âWeâve all been there for them,â she adds.
A tear runs down your face.
âDonât worry, big sis,â she says before hugging you once more. âTheyâll be so happy to see you fully awake.â
You hold her tight in your embrace to comfort you in some kind of way. For a little while, you both stay like this.
âThereâs been a firefighter coming to visit you every day,â she whispers in your ear. âA handsome one, actually.â
A little giggle escapes your lips.
âStop saying nonsense,â you give her a little tap.
She takes a step back with the brightest smile on her face.
âIâm very serious, yn,â she says. âThe firefighter that saved you has been coming to check up on you.â
Well, it sounds like heâs kind of adorable. Itâs definitely very sweet of him to take the time to check up on you after saving your life.
âHeâs extremely hot too,â she adds.
âStop it,â you say. âYouâre exaggerating!â
âI am not!â she instantly replies. âYouâll see when he comes.â
You roll your eyes. Sheâs definitely unbelievable as always, but sheâs your sister. You love her beyond comprehension because she was your very first baby. You have a ten-year gap and youâve been taking care of her since the very first minute she was born. Your parents had her very late; they were almost 40 years old but the happiest.
When you were around two, they started trying to have a second child. However, it didnât go as planned. Your mother suffered two miscarriages and after that, it became even harder to have a child. Eventually, when you were around eight, they gave up. They were happy to have you and settled with the idea that youâd be an only child.
But against all odds, a year later, she got pregnant. The pregnancy went to full term, and thatâs how you became a big sister.
The gap between you was harder around your teenage years. All you were thinking about was boys, and all she wanted was to play. She also wanted to have a younger sibling, but your parents were already too old for that. Your mum said that she couldnât handle another big age gap between her kids.
Your sister was the happiest when you announced your pregnancy at sixteen. She was only six back then, and that baby would have been like the little sibling she always desired to have. She was devastated when you explained to her that you wouldnât keep the baby. Your parents were too but they understood and supported your decision.
Outside your parents, nobody ever knew that Jungkook was the father of your first son. At first, your ex-boyfriend thought that he was the father, that maybe a condom broke and thatâs how you got pregnant. But you always knew that he wasnât the father. It simply wasnât possible. It all got confirmed when you birthed a baby that looked a lot like Jungkook.
You still remember how heartbroken your ex was, and you couldnât blame him. The breakup was too hard to handle back then so you never told anyone who the father was, except for Jungkook. He deserved to know the truth. You werenât expecting much from him as he was the basketball star of your school team. And above anything else, he was a complete jerk.
Nevertheless, he proved you wrong when he supported you. He was by your side for the entirety of the pregnancy. He came to all the ultrasounds and gynecologist's appointments. He was there, and he completely stopped being a jerk to your eyes. Eventually, you became closer, but you refused to be more than friends even though you had strong feelings for him.
Why?
Because itâd be too hard to stay with him after giving up your son for adoption. Jungkook was also supposed to leave for one of the best colleges after that. It was in another city, and you knew heâd stay if you dated. You refused to let him give up his dreams for you. You broke his heart; you could see it in his eyes, but it was for the best. If you were meant to be, youâd find your way back. But it never happened. After that, you completely lose contact. Â
Thereâs a knock on the door. Your sister proceeds to open it, letting the person come in. âSpeaking of the devil,â she turns her head to look at you with the brightest smile on her face.
When the famous live-savior firefighter enters, the entire world completely freezes. The firefighter is none other than Jungkook. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet. After all these years, you finally see him again.
A smile spreads on his face when he sees you awake. You can tell that heâs relieved. For an instant, you take a proper look at him. Heâs still wearing his firefighter uniform, indicating that he most probably came from a mission â if thatâs the correct word to use. His hair is very short and a tiny bit messy. Above anything else, he absolutely looks tired, the dark circles under his eyes betraying him.
âHi,â he simply says as he takes a step inside.
âHi, Jungkook,â you reply.
Your sister is at first taken aback by the fact that you know his name, but as she takes a proper look at your facial expressions, she can tell that you know him.
âIâll leave you two,â she says before disappearing.
âHow are you feeling?â he asks while getting closer.
âI guess fine for now, but not sure, how Iâll feel when the painkillers will no longer have any effects.â Â Â
His eyes scan your face while yours do the same. His beauty is still breathtaking; youâd even say that he aged like fine wine.
âThanks for rescuing me from the car crash,â you add.
âNo need to thank me,â he instantly replies. âItâs part of my job.â
âI still need to. Without you, I wouldnât be here today.â
Even though itâs part of his job, he saved you, and he deserves to be thanked for that. You would have said it to any other firefighter.
âItâs good to see you awake,â he says.
There is so much you want to say to him, but at the same time, now that you have him in front of you, you donât even know what to say.
âI just quickly passed by to check up on you,â he informs you. âI need to get back to work.â
âNo problems,â you reply. âThanks for coming.â
âWould you mind if I come back later?â he nervously asks.
Your heart is now racing in your chest. Of course, you want him to come back so you get to catch up and find out how he went from basketball player to firefighter.
âNo, I wouldnât mind,â a little smile appears on your face.
âThanks,â he says before waving goodbye and leaving your room.
Seconds later, your sister storms inside your room. She has that expression on her face that says: âwho the hell is this guy?â.
âWho is he?â she asks while taking a seat.
Sheâs definitely expecting to hear something like: âheâs a guy I slept with after my breakupâ, or âI met him at a barâ, or anything of that sort because it was obvious there was something going on between you. The look you both had wasnât saying we were simply friends. It was a look screaming âsomething hot and sexy happened between usâ.
âThe guy that knocked me up sixteen years ago.â
âMama,â your oldest daughter, Jia says. âWhen are you leaving the hospital?â
An hour ago, the doctor in charge of you came to explain the extent of the situation to you. Since you now have metal wires in your knees, youâll have to go through a long recovery, and youâll have to follow physiotherapy to learn how to walk again.
On top of that, your intestines were stitched, and it will definitely be hard for a moment to eat and drink. So, for at least ten days, youâll remain in observation at the hospital. There is for sure a very long recovery ahead of you, but what matters is that youâre still alive.
For what is coming, you know you can count on your familyâs support, and without any doubts, seeing your babies will help you navigate the hard times. Obviously, youâre also very self-aware that sometimes, it might be too hard, and during those times, even your support system wonât be enough.
âIâll stay for a little while, boo,â you answer.
She seems a bit sad by your answer which is totally understandable. Briefly, you take a look at Jiwoo and Jeong to see if they also look sad, and they have the exact same facial expression as their older sister.
Your ex-husband, Minkyu is also present. Itâs logical since itâs his week with them, and also because you were literally in a coma. When your eyes meet, you give him a little smile. By the way heâs looking at you, he definitely seems worried.
âBut youâll see, time will go by super-fast,â you try to reassure them. âAnd very soon, Iâll be home with you.â
You canât wait to go home and be with them even though for a little while, due to the recovery time, it wonât be easy at all. But youâll be with your babies which honestly is the only thing that matters.
Your babies jump on the bed and hug you. Feeling all this love coming from the little human beings you create warms your heart beyond comprehension. Although the pain is starting to kick in, you pretend like you donât feel anything because you want to savor this moment with them.
Jeong, your son, shows you what he drew at school for you. He takes the time to explain what it represents. Itâs definitely adorable. Then, Jiwoo tells you how her day went by. She played a lot with her friends, she learned to count until 20, and her teacher told her she was an amazing learner. Her face was shining, and you couldnât be prouder.
Your oldest daughter doesnât speak much, letting her younger siblings talk. You then try to make her talk about her day, but she bursts into tears, hiding her face in your chest. Your heart definitely breaks while you hold her in your arms.
âWhat happened, boo?â you caress her back, trying to comfort her as much as you can.
Sheâs heavily crying, your shirt getting wet with her tears.
âMy little boo-boo,â you whisper. âWhatâs going on?â you add. âTell me.â
She hugs you even more which squeezes your heart. You donât like seeing your babies like that.
âI thought you were dead, mommy,â she sniffs.
âOooh, my boo-boo,â you really want to cry at her words. Imagining her thinking that is one thing but hearing her saying it out loud is something completely different. âIâm so sorry.â Thatâs all you can say.
Jiwoo and Jeong join the hug, trying in their own way to comfort their big sister. This is a heartwarming hug, and it comforts you beyond comprehension. Itâs hard to see them like that, but itâll get better with time. Minkyu joins you for what is like a family hug now. This right here is the only thing that you need.
After this uplifting moment, your ex-husband and babies leave you alone in this cold hospital room. They need to go back home; the kids need to wash, do their homework, and get ready for bed. You wish they could have stayed longer because you donât want to stay alone. Â
The pain is now unbearable, and it honestly scares you for the long recovery awaiting you. Luckily, right after your family left, a nurse came in to give you dinner together with strong painkillers.
The food is âas imaginedâ disgusting. Thereâs nothing you can do about it, but tomorrow, youâll try to convince your sister to bring you a pizza or sushi or some fast food. Thereâs no way youâll survive ten days with this horrible food.
A little later, someone knocks at the door. As promised earlier, Jungkook appears inside your room with a bright smile on his face. You return the smile as it honestly makes you happy that heâs here.
âHi,â you say.
For a brief moment, your eyes linger on his figure. Heâs no longer in his firefighter uniform; Â heâs dressed in an all-black outfit that, in all honesty, suits him well. A pair of jeans, a tight shirt, and a leather jacket give him an entirely different vibe from earlier. His hair, now perfectly arranged, makes him look strikingly similar to how he did sixteen years ago. Â
âHi,â he walks closer to you.
His eyes notice the serving tray with the empty plate.
âWas it good?â he points to the empty plate.
âIt definitely wasnât,â a little laugh escapes your lips while you shake your head. âThe good thing is that the dessert was a chocolate mousse.â
Jungkookâs smile grows bigger on his face.
âYour favorite dessert,â he whispers.
Now, youâre the one smiling more. When pregnant, you could eat a chocolate mousse without growing tired of it. Due to that, you gained quite some weight during your first pregnancy. Anyway, it was the least of your concerns since you knew you were about to give your son up for adoption.
âYou still rememberâŠâ
âHow couldnât I?â he instantly says. âYou were eating it night and day.â
You giggle as you remember it.
âYou werenât helping too,â you accuse him. âWhenever Iâd ask for one, youâd make it, and youâre a good cooker.â
Jungkook was your personal chef. Whatever dish youâd ask for, heâd prepare it. His mousses were so delicious that you found yourself always craving them. The ones from the supermarket simply couldnât compare to Jungkookâs.
âWell, for my defense, I couldnât let a pregnant woman starve,â he puts his hands up.
It doesnât feel like sixteen years happened since you last spoke. Itâs great you found each other again. It wasnât under great circumstances, but heâs here now.
âThat was nice of you,â you gently say.
âDo you mind if I take a seat?â he points to the chair near your bed.
âNo, no,â you shake your head.
Jungkook sits down before turning to you. Heâs incredibly close now, allowing you to get a better look at him. Heâs definitely gotten older, the wrinkles on his face canât lie. The beginning of a beard is also easily noticeable.
âHow bad does it hurt?â he seriously asks.
âIs it that obvious?â you say.
Jungkook nods. Honestly, this time around the painkillers arenât helping much. Your entire body aches, you canât even say which part hurts more.
âItâs pretty bad,â you answer. âEven with the painkillers now, it hurts like hell.â
âIf you want, I can call a nurse,â he suggests.
âNo, itâs fine,â you answer. âIâll probably need to wait a bit more before it really takes effect.â
Jungkook doesnât really listen to you since he leaves the room. You roll your eyes but with a big smile on your face. Itâs incredible how he didnât change after all these years. He used to never believe you when you were in pain.
A few seconds later, he comes back with a nurse. They are talking, and heâs explaining that Iâm in extreme pain. Heâs exaggerating a bit the reality. However, the nurse administers you a stronger painkiller and she also tells you that you shouldnât hesitate to call her if youâre suffering. Then, she leaves. Slowly, youâre finally feeling the pain going away.
âYou didnât need to do that,â you tell him once the nurse leaves the room.
âYes, I needed,â he instantly says. âThereâs no way I was leaving you suffering unnecessarily.â
Jungkook seems definitely concerned.
âYou donât have to play the strong girl after this terrible car crash.â
Heâs not wrong, but this is one of your flaws. Youâll only take a painkiller unless you donât have much of a choice. Most of the time, you donât take anything as youâre convinced you can handle anything.
You simply nod while Jungkook sits again on the chair. This time, you start talking about what has been going on in your lives for the past sixteen years.
Jungkook barely managed to finish his college years because he honestly had his mind somewhere else. After all, he had become a father, given his son up for adoption, and had his heart broken by the girl he always had a crush on. He didnât mention the last part. He had tremendous regrets about how everything went down.
Right after college, he became a firefighter; a passion he randomly discovered the summer before. Saving lives, and helping others in need is what truly fulfills him. He considers his job as his own therapy even though itâs not always easy to deal with the horrific visions he might encounter.
Eight years ago, he met a French girl who had recently moved here. They fell in love and had a little boy, Noah. Heâs four years old today; the same age as your youngest daughter. His eyes were filled with love when he started speaking about him. He said his boy is a mini version of his mother so he barely looks Korean. He even has blue eyes.
However, heâs no longer with her. They broke up three years ago and they arenât really on good terms today. She already threatened to move back to France with Noah. They went through a tough legal battle for their sonâs custody. Itâs a shared one, and Jungkookâs parents are the intermediates between them. They pick up Noah at her place to bring him to Jungkookâs, and vice versa. Â
It honestly broke your heart to hear about all that. It doesnât seem to be an easy situation, and hearing his story makes you feel even more grateful for the good relationship you maintain with Minkyu. Â
Then, you proceed to tell him about what your life has looked like for the past sixteen years.
âLately, Iâve been thinking a lot about our son,â you honestly say.
Four months ago, on the 2nd of June to be precise, your son turned sixteen. Heâs the age you were when you gave birth to him. Since that day, youâve definitely been wondering what he has become. Is he also about to become a father? You hope not.
âWell, I always think about him, but lately, itâs been more than usual,â you explain. âAnd I also imagine him with my other kids, and I wonder what bond theyâd have.â
Jungkook only nods. âI get that,â those are his only words.
You refrain from continuing to talk about your son as it seems to affect him in some way. Maybe itâs simply too hard for him to think about that son you didnât keep. You understand that so you prefer to stop talking. But his next words definitely catch you by surprise.
âIâve found our son.â
Seventeen years ago
As you step inside the pretty big basketball court, your eyes immediately look for a place to sit. There arenât many people watching the teamâs training. You place yourself in the very last row, almost as if youâre trying to hide yourself âor to hide your little secret.
Instinctively, your eyes look for Jungkook, the best basketball player. Heâs the reason for your presence. Quickly, you take a look at your watch. The training should be over soon.
Your heart is beating crazily in your chest. What you have to tell him isnât easy, especially since you donât really know what to do. Youâre actually even convinced that heâll tell you to fuck off. Jungkook is known to be a jerk after all.
The man notices you while running in the court. His eyebrows frown, as youâre the last person he was expecting to see here. The past month has been hectic because things have been hot and cold with you. For a while already, he has been having a massive crush on you, but heâs never said anything because youâre in a relationship with Minho.
Even though heâs known to be an asshole, he never wanted to be the reason for your separation. However, last month, you had sex, and youâve been feeling guilty since then. He can only understand you so heâs stayed away to give you the space you need. Nevertheless, you would sometimes interact and to his surprise, youâd be nice.
âJungkook,â someone screams.
He grabs the ball that is thrown at him, and heâs focused again on the game. The end comes rapidly. Jungkook walks directly in your direction and you give him a little smile. As he gets closer, he instantly notices the sadness in your eyes. He sits down next to you with heavy breathing. His face is red, his hair is wet, and heâs all sweaty.
âHi,â he says with a smile.
âHi,â you reply.
Deep down, heâs kind of hoping youâre here to tell him that youâve broken up with Minho. Thatâs all heâs ever wanted, especially since he slept with you.
âHow are you?â he asks with evident concern.
âNot good,â you bite your lower lip, tears already forming in your eyes.
Jungkook directly pushes you into his arms to comfort you. Tears stream down your face while you hold him tight in your embrace. You hold him as if your world depends on it. Quickly, you start sobbing which breaks Jungkookâs heart. Heâs definitely worried now, especially since he would have never imagined you coming to cry into his arms. He gently rubs your back in silence, letting you cry in peace.
This scene seems unreal to him.
After a little while, you take a step back to clean your face, dabbing at the tears that seem to not stop. Youâre sure you look like a complete mess right now with your red eyes, face ravaged with tears, and trembling hands. Jungkook is staring at you, his gaze filled with heavy unspoken words.
âSorry,â you mumble.
âDonât worry,â he replies.
Jungkook tugs a strand of hair behind your ear.
âItâs not easy what I have to say,â you admit.
âItâs okay,â he gently says. âTake your time.â Â
Jungkook has never been a jerk with you. Heâs definitely a tease, and heâs been teasing you for months now. But he has never been mean or rude. Even though itâs been quite obvious to you that he was flirting with you all this time, heâs been nothing but respectful and never crossed the line.
But that was until you couldnât resist him anymore.
Obviously, heâs a very handsome guy and it flattered you a lot that he was interested in you. However, youâre in a relationship with Minho. Heâs been your boyfriend for a couple of months, and you adore him. But Jungkook has shaken everything up. It was obvious that one day you would surrender to temptation.
Jungkook is very good in bed, thereâs no doubt about it. Your one-night stand was a memorable one, but youâve felt nothing but guilt since then. And you also hate yourself. How could you have done that to Minho? Heâs been nothing but an angel to you. You clearly donât deserve him.
âIâm pregnant,â you admit.
Jungkookâs body freezes completely. Of all the things he was expecting to hear, this definitely wasnât one of them. This is quite a bombshell! This will forever change your life, and he can only sympathize with you. Now, it leaves him wondering if heâs the father.
âIs it Minhoâs?â he asks after a couple of seconds. âOr mine?â
âItâs yours,â you inform him.
Although this is a piece of very destabilizing news, he kind of feels proud to be the father of your child. Itâs a weird feeling but the chances of him being the father are quite low since youâre in a relationship.
âYouâre sure?â he asks.
âOf course, I am,â you almost sound offended. âI always use protection with Minho,â you whisper. âAnd if you remember correctly, we didnât.â
âRight,â he nods.
You were so in the heat that a condom was the last thing you both thought of, but you used the pullout method. Looks like it wasnât the brightest idea. It would have been best if you had been more careful. Now itâs too late to go back in time. Now, thereâs a baby on the way. Â
âIâm so scared to tell him,â you admit.
Tears start running down your face again.
âWhat will I become now?â you add. âMy life is ruined.â
Jungkook cleans your face because he doesnât like to see you in this state.
âYour life isnât ruined, yn,â his thumb caresses your cheek.
âHow canât it be ruined?â you desperately say. âIâm pregnant; I'll give birth in less than nine months. My life will all be about that baby, Iâll have to drop school, and Iâll have to be a parent when Iâm still a kid.â
The man in front of you can only understand your despair. His life will also drastically change from now on. Most probably, heâll also need to give up on his dream college to work and provide for this baby.
âIâm here, and we will find a solution,â he whispers. âYouâre not alone.â
You shake your head. Thereâs no way youâll find a solution. It is simple: thereâs a baby on the way, and outside that, thereâs the whole situation where you cheated on your boyfriend.
âAnd Minho will be completely heartbroken,â you start crying even more. âOut of all people, heâs the one that doesnât deserve that!â
Jungkook doesnât know what to say. For sure, it isnât great to cheat on your partner, but he knows heâs very much capable of doing it without having any remorse. Heâs perfectly aware that he isnât the greatest guy on earth when it comes to love. Even though he has a crush on you, he isnât convinced heâd be the right one for you.
âMy life is destroyed,â you repeat once more.
The basketball player pulls you once again in his embrace. His strong arms are comforting, and you realize now that you did great by coming to talk to him.
âWeâll find a solution,â he whispers in your ear.
Little did you know at that moment that he was right. A week later, you both agreed to give your son up for adoption. It wasnât an easy decision, but it was the best one. You could feel it inside your bones.
From your roomâs window, you admire the landscape that stretches before your eyes. The view isnât the prettiest but at least, itâs something different than the tv. For the past three days, you could only be lying and sitting on your bed. Itâs been horrible.
Jungkook has been coming every day to check up on you, and youâve been talking a lot. Itâs honestly so great to reunite again and to finally discover what he has become for the past years.
Your sister has been very curious about your reunion with the father of your firstborn. She also asked if Minkyu ever knew about him. You never hid from your ex-husband the existence of your first child, but you never told him who the father was. There was no need to do so. Â
Your sister informed your parents who saved you, and they already saw him again. They really liked him when you were pregnant, so they were very happy to meet him again.
Jungkook didnât tell them that he found your firstborn, and youâre grateful he didnât because you donât even know what to do. You asked him to give you some time to process the information. Heâs been nothing but respectful.
This morning, you started walking for the first time since the surgery. It was beyond painful to even move one leg, but you bear with the pain of walking a little bit. Since the first day, youâve been having physiotherapy sessions to help with the recovery. At first, the sessions only consisted of moving your legs while remaining in bed. Now, you get to walk a bit.
The physiotherapist handed you a cane today. Itâs incredibly glamorous!
The good side is that you can now move from the bed to the chair more easily. You obviously still need a lot of help, but it gives you a bit more freedom.
Slowly, you try to stand up as you need to go to the bathroom. Right there, someone knocks at the door before entering. You expect to see the nurse since you call for her, but youâre surprised to see Jungkook. As he notices you struggling to get up, he rushes to help you out.
âShouldnât you be asking for the nurse to help you?â he asks.
âThe nurse should be coming,â you reply.
âIs it okay if I place my hands on your waist?â you shake your head.
His hands instantly reach your waist, holding you firmly while you stand up with shaky legs. Feeling his presence around you reassures you, especially with his strong arms holding you. Your eyes quickly glance at him when youâre proudly standing up, and he looks incredibly hot with his red cheeks and messy hair.
At this precise moment, you feel like your teenage self, who was deeply attracted to him. The version of yourself who had deeply fallen in love with him when you were pregnant. That nostalgic feeling kind of warms your heart.
âIâm happy to see you finally out of that bed,â a smile spreads on his face when your eyes meet.
His stare is softer now, and itâs evident that he truly means what he just said.
âMe too,â you admit. âCouldnât stand being on that bed anymore,â you laugh a little. âItâs been driving me crazy.â Â
The nurse finally arrives, but she instantly leaves as you inform her that Jungkook is helping you.
At a very slow pace, you start walking in the bathroomâs direction. Jungkook stands next to you, his hands very close to you, ready to catch you any minute.
âIâve been thinking,â you start saying as you put your right foot in front of the other. Â
âAbout?â he asks.
Itâs extremely frustrating to be walking as fast as a turtle, but thereâs not much you can do right now. Â You have brand-new knees, so you need to learn to walk with them, which will take some time. Plus, you also need to adjust to the pain these new knees cause.
âAbout our baby,â you answer.
Jungkook is taken a bit aback; he wasnât expecting you to bring the topic up this early.
âAbout Sunny,â you add.
Sunny is the nickname you gave to your son. Neither you nor Jungkook wanted to give him a name, as you knew itâd be too heartbreaking to let him go. The nickname came naturally, and it gave your son a human dimension. When you were pregnant, it almost didnât feel real that there was a human inside you since you couldnât see him.
A little smile appears on his face as he remembers how you used to call your firstborn.
âIâd like to hear the story of how you found him.â
For the past sixteen years, youâve dreamed of meeting your son one day, but it was just a dream. You never thought that itâd actually happen. Obviously, you could have done everything in your power to find him, but that wouldnât be fair to him. However, youâre now curious to hear how Jungkook found him.
âWell, maybe you should go first to the bathroom because thereâs a lot to be said,â you simply nod.
Jungkook is wearing his firefighter uniform, and it suits him incredibly well. It definitely shows off his toned chest which could satisfy any hungry eyes, like yours, for example. Any lady would like to be saved by him.
Once you arrive at the bathroom, he waits outside for you. It takes you a bit of time to pee, wash your hands, and leave the room. Itâs painful too, and all you hope for is to go through this terrible phase as fast as possible.
The firefighter helps you to sit on the chair, and his kindness warms your heart. No doubt that he makes a great life savior.
âSo, tell me about Sunny,â you say the second youâre comfortably sitting.
Jungkook takes another chair to face you, and he rests his arms on the little table placed in between you.
âI found him to same way I found you,â he looks down at his hands with a little smile on his face. âI was called for a fire in a building complex almost two years ago,â he starts explaining. âIt was early in the morning, something like 6 am, and it was a pretty big fire. There was a fourteen-year-old lying on the floor, coughing like crazy so I naturally took him out of the building.â
Jungkook takes a little break, his eyes going from his hands to your eyes. His stare is intense; it unsettles you at first.
âOnce outside, I almost felt like I was looking at you and myself at the same time,â his voice is soft. âAnd one of my colleagues even said that the kid oddly resembled me.â Â
You canât imagine how it must have felt for him.
âI instantly knew it was Sunny, but I kind of didnât want to believe it,â his eyes clearly show how sad he feels. âIf it wasnât him, it would have broken me. I was already going through shit with my ex, so it wasnât an easy time for me at that time.â
Itâs visibly not easy for him to be talking about the situation with his ex-girlfriend.
âA couple of days later, he appeared at the station with his mother to thank me for saving him. In the daylight, it was more than obvious we shared DNA. Even a blind person could see the striking resemblance, but nobody said a word as if we were all scared to say the truth.â
âThat must have been an unbelievable moment,â you whisper.
âIt definitely was,â he chuckles. âBut looking back now, itâs almost funny. I still remember how shocked his mother was when she first saw me. Sunny looked confused, but his motherâs reaction was extremely funny.â
It eases your heart to know that he looks back at that moment with delight.
âThe day after, she came back but alone this time because she wanted to talk to me.â
His right hand grabs one of your fingers to play with it, causing your heart to hammer crazily in your chest. Jungkook is incredibly nervous to be talking about those moments, and he needs to look at something else than you. Â Â
âAs you can imagine, she asked me if I was his biological father, and all I could tell her was that I wasnât sure. I then proceeded to tell her that I had a son at seventeen and that we gave him up for adoption. She naturally asked me when he was born, and then, there werenât any doubts anymore. He was undoubtedly Sunny,â a smile full of pride appears on his face. âIâve been in contact with him since then, but I donât force anything. Iâm just happy to see him.â
For a moment, you look at him with wonder. This man is evidently happy to have found his firstborn and to be able to be part of his life. Jungkook didnât really want to give his son up for adoption, and you knew it. For a long time, you considered changing your mind because it was obvious that he wanted to be a father. Even though you were in love with him, adoption wasnât about you or him. It was about Sunny.
That baby boy deserved to have a good life. Not a chaotic one where you regretted having him because he was the impersonation of your sin, or because he destroyed your life as you became a teen mom. You werenât able to give him what he needed, and it was the best decision to have a family giving him what you couldnât.
âWhatâs his name?â you ask.
Right now, you donât know if you ever want to meet your son. It already brings you so much joy to know he found his biological father. But youâre also wondering what his name is. He has always been âSunnyâ to you.
âTaemoo,â he answers.
Thatâs a pretty name. His parents found the perfect name for that little boy.
âItâs beautiful,â you say.
âNot as pretty as Sunny,â he jokingly says.
Your fingers wrap around his right hand. This is a vulnerable moment for both of you. It brings you back to a past where you were confronted with a harsh reality. Nothing was easy back then. You were ripped between your hearts and minds. The heart wanted to keep Sunny, but the mind was being realistic.
The tears shed from the day you had to give him up still haunt you to this day. The heartbreak painted all over Jungkookâs face never leaves your mind. That day was the hardest day of your entire life; it ripped your heart open.
âDo you think there was a possibility we could have kept him?â you ask with a shaky voice.
His eyes look up at you.
âMaybe,â he frankly answers. âIf we werenât that young and stupid, we could have been the parents he needed.â
âI definitely was stupid,â you shake your head.
âYou werenât,â he says without any hesitation. âYou made a mistake, but that doesnât make you stupid.â
âSay that to Minho,â you retort.
Jungkook giggles.
âI would never approach him, even now,â that makes you smile. âMy face still hurts from his punch.â
After the pregnancy announcement to your ex-boyfriend, it was pure chaos. Minho went completely out of control due to his heartbreak. Obviously, he insisted on knowing who the father was, but you never flinched. Nonetheless, he instantly understood that it was Jungkook. He had noticed how he was constantly teasing you. Â Â
So, the first thing he did was punch Jungkook in the face. The basketball player didnât even fight back as he believed he deserved it. After all, he slept with a taken woman with absolutely no regrets.
Minho got even angrier because he wanted the player to respond. He was devastated by what happened, and you could only understand him. The day after, he went to another high school, and you never heard from him anymore.
âTo be honest, yn,â he starts saying. âBack then, there wasnât a possibility to keep him. My soul wanted to keep him, but it was for selfish reasons. I wanted to be a father but couldnât be one back then. There isnât a day where I donât feel grateful for the tough decision you took and stand for. It would have been a complete disaster.â
His hand squeezes yours, and just right there, with his words and touch, you just burst into tears. Those tears just came by total surprise, but deep down, those are the tears youâve been holding back for sixteen years. Hearing about your son and remembering the harsh moments you faced when he was inside you caused reality to hit you right in the face.
Jungkook instantly pushes the table aside to hold you in his embrace. You place your face on the crook of his neck while your arms wrap around him. It feels like youâre brought back to seventeen years ago when you announced your pregnancy.
âIâm so sorry,â you whisper.
âDonât be sorry,â he responds. âYouâre going through a lot now.â
There are some words Jungkook is dying to tell you, but itâs definitely not the appropriate moment. This is already shaking you up, so no need to add an extra layer.
Taemoo would like to meet you; itâs been actually one of his dreams. Jungkook has already told him a million things about you, and your son has been beyond happy to hear all those things about you. He also got to see a picture of you when you were sixteen.
So Jungkook definitely wants to tell you that Taemoo would like to meet you, but he doesnât know if this is the right time, especially since he doesnât know how youâll react.
âSometimes I regret so much that I gave him up,â you honestly say. âSometimes itâs just unbearable to remember the day I handed him over to the adoption center.â
His strong hands caress your back in an attempt to comfort you.
âItâs normal,â he whispers. âI do too,â he admits. âThere isnât a day that goes by where I donât think about his birth and when we said our last goodbyes to him.â
You hold him tightly, his strong arms comforting you in an unbelievable way. You donât want to let go of him. All you want is to cry in his arms until there arenât any tears left.
âWe did well, yn,â he tells you. âSunny has been having a wonderful life. A life that we could have never given him,â he tries to reassure you. âHis parents love him so much, allowed him to follow his dreams, and gave him everything he ever needed.â
As he got to meet Taemoo and his adoptive parents, he can reassure you now.
âThey are adorable people,â he adds. âAnd theyâve been taking good care of our Sunny.â
Jungkook spent most of his life wondering if good people adopted his son, and he would have hated himself if it wasnât the case. But when he got to meet Taemooâs parents, he saw how great they were. And above anything, he saw how great they raised him. Taemoo is a wonderful kid with a wonderful soul.
Hearing those words definitely reassures you. It comforts you that Sunny has been doing well and landed in a loving family. At the end of the day, thatâs all you ever wanted for your baby.
âThanks,â you whisper.
The firefighter smiles while holding you a bit tighter. For a little while, you stay like this without saying a word. Reuniting with Jungkook is the best thing that happens in the midst of all the chaos your life has become. It also allows you to think about something else other than the excruciating pain you constantly feel. Â
A nurse enters your room while youâre reading one of the many books youâve had left to read for the past years.
âThere is a young man who says heâs your son. Should I let him in?â
You frown in confusion, momentarily wondering if your son has been mistaken for someone else. Nevertheless, you nod.
âYes, please,â you say, placing your book aside and grabbing your cane to keep it close, just in case.
A soft knock sounds at the door before it opens, revealing a tall, nervous teenager. Your heart stops as you take in his face. It isnât Jeongâbut your oldest son.
As Jungkook described him a week ago, Taemoo definitely looks like the two of you. Nevertheless, his resemblance with his biological father is surprising. There is absolutely no doubt that he is Jungkookâs son. You understand now his motherâs reaction when she saw the firefighter.
âHello,â he says, his voice tentative, holding a bouquet of bright sunflowers.
His hands tremble slightly as he steps inside. As you look a bit more at him, you canât help but notice that heâs dressed thoughtfully, a gesture that tugs at your heart. Â
This moment feels absolutely unreal. Merely days ago you found out about his name, and today heâs standing in front of you.
âI am Taemoo,â he continues.
As you look at this not-so-little man, you wonder what you could say to him, but you have no clue.
âHello Taemoo,â you manage, your voice soft and unsteady. âCome in,â you add.
Taemooâor Sunny as youâve been affectingly calling him for the past sixteen yearsâcomes closer with some hesitation. Heâs clutching the flowers like a shield. Despite the nerves, thereâs a quiet strength about him.
âI donât have much to offer, but I have water, cookies, biscuits, and hot chocolate. Would you want something?â you propose.
âNo, thanks,â he gives you a little smile.
âPlease take a seat,â you offer while showing the chair next to yours.
For a little moment, he hesitates before sitting next to you. Your heart is hammering in your chest, ready to burst any second. The little man you gave birth to sixteen years ago is now standing before you. The same boy you gave up for adoption merely three days after his birth.
âSorry, I didnât properly introduce myself,â he mumbles.
As much as you want to tell him that he doesnât need to, you need to hear him say it out loud.
âI am Taemoo, your son,â he says.
âHello, Taemoo,â you gently say. âItâs a pleasure to meet you again.â
Tears start running down your face as you look at him. Sixteen years ago, you were holding him in your arms while your heart was completely ripped out. You were looking down at him knowing youâd have to say goodbye.
âI⊠I brought you these,â he shows the bouquet in his hands.
Your chest tightens as you take the flowers. âThank you,â you say, your voice thick with emotion. âTheyâre beautifulâsunflowers are my favorite.â
âI know,â he murmurs, glancing at the floor. âMr. Jeon told me.â
Your heart melts; this boy definitely seems to have a big heart. More silent tears run down your face while you look down again at the flowers.
âI have to ask,â you say after a little while. âHow did you find me?â
You try to clean your face to compose yourself.
âI was in the hospital for a checkup, and I noticed Mr. Jeon at the front desk asking about you,â he explains. âI also know your name because he gave it to me when we met,â he adds.
You nod slowly, absorbing his words. It kind of warms your heart that Jungkook talked about you to Taemoo, but it aches your heart that this is how he got to meet you. You would have largely preferred you had organized this reunion.
âIâm glad you came.â
Your firstborn shifts nervously in his chair. âI wasnât sure if I should,â he admits. âI didnât know if you ever wanted to see me.â
It breaks your heart to hear those words as you picture him worried to come. Thereâs no doubt that itâs brave of him to come here. He could have stumbled upon a mother who didnât want to see him; he was for sure aware of it.
âTaemoo,â you start saying. âYou have every right to be here,â your voice slightly trembles. âIâve spent the last sixteen years wondering how itâd be to see you again.â
But you also wondered if it was a good idea to even look for him. You never wanted to shake his world up, especially after giving him up for adoption.
âI donât want to bother you,â he says. âI justâŠâ heâs quite hesitating to continue his sentence, and you nod, silently encouraging him to proceed with what he has in mind. âI just needed to see you.â
âYouâre not bothering me at all,â you reassure him instantly.
For a moment, silence falls between you, heavy with unspoken emotions. You donât add anything else as you let him take the lead. Heâs the one who was brave enough to come so you want him to say everything his heart desires.
âI have questions,â he finally speaks. âAbout why. Why gave me up for adoption.â
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat growing.
âJungkook never told you why?â you question.
âYes, he did but he never spoke on your behalf. He only gave his reasons.â
This is the Jungkook that you know, and it is very fond of him.
âI couldnât be a mother,â your voice trembles. âI desired nothing more than to be a mother for you, but I couldnât give you what you needed. I wanted you to have a life I couldnât give you at the time.â
Itâs hard to tell him why you abandoned him. Youâre not even sure he can understand your reasons.
âI was just a girl when I had you; I was your age. I was so scared, but I thought only about your future. You deserved to have a good life, to have parents who would give you everything you needed. In my mind, the best thing for you was to give you up for adoption.â
Thereâs also the part where you cheated on your boyfriend, but thatâs something he doesnât need to know.
His expression is unreadable, but you notice his hands unclenching. This might be a good sign.
âDid you regret it?â his voice is barely above a whisper.
âEvery single day,â you confess. Youâre unable to stop the tears now. âThe day I handed you over was the hardest day of my life. Iâve spent the last sixteen years wondering what youâve become, but I was too afraid to find you,â you feel extremely vulnerable in front of your son. âI thought youâd hate me.â
Taemoo looks away, staring at the floor while he processes your words. It isnât easy for him to be here and to know the truth. Jungkook said the same time. He was too young to be a father; he was a total idiot back then, and he tried to give his son the best life he could.
âI donât hate you,â he softly says, and relief washes over you. âI never hated you because I had a good life, but Iâve spent my whole life wondering if I would have had as well a good life with my biological parents.â
Youâre convinced it wouldnât have been the case.
âThanks for answering my questions,â he gently says.
Another silence settles between you, but less tense this time.
âMr. JeonâŠâ he hesitantly says. âHe told me you like books,â he says, changing the subject.
At this stage, youâre wondering what Jungkook hasnât said about you. First, there are the flowers; now, itâs the books.
âWhat are you reading?â
Youâre grateful he swifts the topic of conversation. It was heavy to be talking to him about your painful past. Smiling, you reach for the book on the bed, and show it to Taemoo. Â
âItâs one of the books I bought years ago but never read,â he takes the book to look at it.
âI like books too,â he admits while looking at the book. âMostly history, and fantasy too.â
Your heart warms as he gives you a small glimpse into his life.
âIâd love to know what youâre reading,â you say. âMaybe you could recommend me something?â youâre hesitant.
âSure,â he straightaway answers. âMaybe next time.â
âNext time,â you murmur while holding onto those words like a lifeline.
Taemoo gives you a small smile. Slowly, you reach for his hand, and for a brief moment, he freezes, then lets you hold it.
âThanks, Taemoo,â your voice is filled with emotions.
He nods with still that small smile on his face. âIf you donât mind, we could exchange numbers?â he asks with hesitation.
âYes, of course,â you smile at him, giving his hand a small squeeze.
Your phone is on the other side of the bed, so you slowly try to get up with your glamorous cane. Taemoo stands up without any second thoughts to help you out. Heâs already as tall as Jungkook; you donât doubt heâll be taller than him. You walk very slowly, and your son doesnât leave your side in case you need him.
Once youâve reached your phone, you unlock it to give it to him. âYou can type your number and save it,â you say.
Taemoo freezes when he notices your background. There are three kids, and he realizes how much they resemble him. Even though he looks a lot like Jungkook, he also takes a lot after you.
âAre those my siblings?â he asks when he glances at you.
âYes,â you answer. âI had three other kids years after you.â
âThey look adorable,â he tells you before proceeding to save his number on your phone.
He calls himself, so he can also have your number. After that, he helps you to sit again on the chair before leaving the room. The room suddenly feels empty as Taemoo leaves you alone with the flowers and the overwhelming realization that your sonâthe boy you thought youâd lost foreverâis finally back in your life.
Today, Jungkook took a day off because heâs going out with you.
Itâs not really a date âat least, that's what youâre both trying to convince yourselves. Itâs been like a week that youâre out of the hospital, and he promised heâd take you on a car ride. Even though you walk better than you did some days ago, youâre still very slow. However, it doesnât change the fact that you want to go out a bit.
For the past few days, youâve both spent a lot of time together. Itâs been great to be around you again. Things are very different now because youâre both grown-ups with kids, and thereâs a lifetime that happened since you last saw each other. But he still feels the same around you. He still has that massive crush on you.
Honestly, he thought that with time, itâd fade away, but he was wrong. He understood it the second he pulled you out of that car. Being around you brings him peace. He feels like he doesnât have to play a role; he simply can be himself.
âWhere are we going?â you ask.
âSomewhere,â he quickly eyes you before focusing on the road again.
Sixteen years ago, he knew he could never have you because of the circumstances. It was obvious to him that you loved him back, but it simply wasnât possible. However, today, things are different. He still has a crush on you, and he will do everything in his power to not let you go.
âYouâll like it,â he smiles at you.
You look at him with suspicion.
âLetâs see,â you mumble.
Since youâve been discharged from the hospital, Jungkook has been kind of scared to put you back in a car. So, for this day out, he asked you a million times if youâd be okay. You reassured him because it didnât really frighten you.
Your baby daddy has been thoughtfully thinking about the place he could take you to. There are for sure hundreds of places, but he wants something special. However, above anything else, he wants to distract you.
He has noticed how you sometimes contort with pain. Definitely, you try to hide it but he can see it through your eyes. Most of the time, he feels sorry to see you in that state. It doesnât look great at all. Nonetheless, heâs been trying to help.
Taemoo has also passed by once or twice at your parentsâ place. Jungkook has never been present because he wants you two to get to know each other without him being in the middle. He definitely wishes the three of you to be reunited, but letâs take this step by step. Itâs difficult for everyone.
âHow has it been going to come back home?â he asks.
âNot easyâŠâ you admit. âThe kids struggle to not be staying at my place, even myself.â
Unfortunately, you canât stay alone since anything can happen and you need help. So youâre staying at your parentâs place. Youâre sleeping in your old bedroom that has since been transformed into a kidâs room for your babies. Your old bed is still there, but it doesnât feel like your actual bed.
âThey cry when they have to leave with their father. They really want to stay at my parentsâ place with me, but itâs already very crowded.â
Your sister still lives with your parents, sheâs only 22; sheâs still very young. Well, she refuses to let you call her young because, at 22, you were getting married to Minkyu.
âThey understand the situation, but it doesnât change the fact that itâs hard for them.â
Jungkook nods as he can only imagine how this situation feels for everybody. Hopefully, things will slowly get better, and youâll be able to recover quickly.
âI donât like to complain, but itâs already physically hard, so seeing them like that makes it harder,â you admit.
It leaves you wondering if it will be like that until the end of your recovery.
âThen, itâs a good thing I take you out for a little bit today,â he smiles, trying to change the conversation.
âIt is,â you smile at him.
Itâs warming your heart that he has been very present for almost a month. There hasnât been a day where he didnât visit you, even if it was for five minutes. You feel lucky to have him during this tough time; heâs been quite a comforting and reassuring presence.
After maybe half an hour, you reach a parking lot from a park located on a high hill. Itâs a park you and Jungkook terribly loved. Youâd come here towards the end of the pregnancy when you couldnât sleep.
âSo, what do you think?â
âI like this place,â a bright smile grows on your face.
âI know,â he says.
This is definitely very thoughtful of him.
Jungkook leaves the car to help you get out of it. As you think you are going to walk for a bit, the man just holds you in his arms, one of his arms under your back, and the other under your legs. You instantly wrap your hands around his neck. Your faces are pretty close, and all thoughts are shut down by the irresistible desire to kiss him.
âSince thereâs a lot to walk before reaching our spot, itâs better if I bring you there,â he confesses.
âAlways trying to play the superhero,â you mumble.
âEeh, Iâm not,â he straight away answers. âIâm just trying to make your life easier.â
You roll your eyes while giggling.
âI can let you walk if you prefer but donât blame it on me afterward,â he says while slowly pretending to put you down.
âOkay, okay,â you retreat in defeat. âTake me there.â
A smile grows on his face before he starts walking in the direction of your spot. Itâs a bench where you have the perfect view of the city. At night, itâs wonderful as the buildings are lightening up. You spent many nights here sixteen years ago with your head on his shoulder, and your hand on your belly. Sunny would kick quite a lot during those moments, and Jungkookâs hand would rest on your bump to feel his son.
You were young and stupid, but definitely in love at that moment. A month before your sonâs birth, you shared a passionate kiss on that bench. It was a highly desired one. You shared other kisses afterward but they never felt like that first one.
Surprisingly, when you reach the famous bench, nobody is sitting there. Usually, back in the day, that bench was always occupied during the day, only being empty at night.
âIt almost feels like you booked the bench,â you chuckle.
âI could of,â he answers. âBut I donât have the means.â
Jungkook sits you down on the bench before taking a seat next to you. Gently, he grabs your legs to place them on top of his. Heâs aware of how painful it can be for you to have your knees bent. At least like that, they are almost flat.
âThanks for bringing me here,â your eyes look at the handsome firefighter instead of the pretty view.
The man only offers you a gentle smile, and the two of you now look at the city stretching before your eyes. It is very different than it was sixteen years ago. The city has grown bigger, some buildings were replaced by others or some even were destroyed. Everything is different while still being the same. Like how it feels to be around Jungkook. Â
âCan I ask you a question?â Jungkook breaks the silence between you.
Your eyes look back at him, and his expression is unreadable.
âSure,â you nod.
âWould you have given us a shot if you hadnât gotten pregnant?â he asks with some sort of hesitation.
The questions catches you by surprise as it is the last thing you thought heâd ever ask.
âTo be honest, I donât know,â you say. âI was feeling so guilty about what I did to Minho, I felt stupid, and I was avoiding you.â
Well, he felt that.
âI avoided you because I really adored what happened with you,â you say. âYou were really good in bed,â he smiles at your words. âBut I looked at you differently because I got pregnant.â
Sixteen years ago, you never had a conversation about your feelings for him. But it definitely looks like youâre having it now.
âYou were by my side every second. Youâd cook whatever I was craving, youâd be at every appointment, youâd hold me when I cried, youâd do anything when I was in pain, and youâd bring me here when I couldnât sleep.â
Your heart is beating fast as youâre about to pronounce the next words.
âI fell in love with that Jungkook,â the firefighterâs heart is also hammering in his chest. âNot with the jerk whoâd flirt with me.â
His cheeks are getting red with shyness. After all these years, and even though he knew his feelings were reciprocated, he feels like a teenager falling in love for the first time.
âWe were two when we conceived Sunny, so I naturally had to get my shit together and be by your side and help you as much as I could,â he says. âI was for sure a jerk back then, but Iâd always assume the consequences of my actions.â
His heart is hammering faster as he takes his courage to speak out loud about how he has been feeling about you.Â
âI also had a crush on you so I also saw that as a way to spend more time with you,â now youâre the one blushing.
Anyone observing this scene from outside would instantly get how smitten you are. The person would even bet that youâre together.
âDo you still have a crush on me?â you question.
Youâre way too curious, but you definitely want to know because damn, youâd kiss that man right now.
Jungkook gets closer to your face, his hands moving to your thighs to caress them. Not in a sensual way.
âWhat would happen if I say yes?â he whispers when his face is extremely close to yours.
âYouâll have to find out,â you teasingly say.
His eyes move from your eyes to your lips as he desires nothing but the same as you. To kiss you.  Â
âYes,â he says without any hesitation. âI still have a crush on you.â
You bite your lower lip before breaking the small space between you to fervently kiss him. Having his lips finally against yours feels like a relief, almost as if youâve been waiting sixteen years to feel them again.
The kiss is shy at first as if youâre both scared but it slowly turns into a desperate and fervent one. One of his hands goes to the back of your neck while the other remains on your thigh. Your hands cup his face while you intensely kiss each other.Â
This feels like heaven for you two. You open your mouth, giving him free access to it. His tongue doesnât hesitate one second to find yours. Gently, your tongues meet and it feels wonderful. Inside of your lower belly, thousands of butterflies are freed. Never have you thought that this would happen again although youâve thought about it since reuniting with him.
When youâre both out of breath, you break the kiss and rest your forehead against his. For a moment, you simply look at each other while you catch your breath. Jungkookâs fingers softly caress your face, and you close your eyes to savor this moment.Â
âIâve dreamed of this since I found you again,â he admits.
Jungkook presses once more his mouth against yours. A soft moan leaves his mouth when your lips meet. He wants to keep doing this forever. He teasingly bites your lower lip which causes a moan to escape your mouth. A devious smirk appears on his face but he gets back to kissing you fervently.
Before the kiss takes a very dirty turn, you break it. âIt isnât the appropriate place for that,â you whisper.
He giggles as he realizes he was ready to take it to the next level in a public place. The firefighter presses a gentle kiss on your lips before you resume to admire the view.
After a couple of hours, he takes you back to your parentsâ house. Your mind is filled with euphoria from the kisses you shared earlier, and you canât help but smile every time you think about it. Kissing Jungkook still feels the same. It still tastes like heaven. Â
When youâre home, you notice nobodyâs here which is a bit weird, especially since you warned your parents youâll take a shower today. Maybe they went for a walk since you were with Jungkook.
âWould you mind staying a bit?â you ask. âI need to take a shower, and I wouldnât feel comfortable alone.â
âYeah, no problem,â he says.
Jungkook assists you until you reach the bathroom and grabs underwear, a bra, pants, and a shirt from your bedroom.
âYouâre sure youâll be able to be by yourself?â he asks with concern.
âI have a stool and everything I need has been placed at the stool level,â you explain. âSo donât worry.â
Jungkook canât help but feel worried. Even if itâd be weird to be in the bathroom with you, heâd feel reassured.
âIf I need anything, Iâll call you,â you add.
Thereâs not much he can do, except to leave you alone.
âOkay,â he presses a gentle kiss on your lips before leaving.
You sit on the stool to get undressed. To remove your shirt and bra, itâs quite easy, but to take off your pants and panties, itâs a whole other story. Your mother has been helping you a lot with the shower part, and youâve been feeling like a five-year-old who canât do much by herself.
The last two showers, youâve been able to do everything by yourself, and youâve been very proud of yourself. However, right now, youâre struggling a lot. Itâs frustrating you beyond comprehension, but you remind yourself that you need to calm down otherwise, itâll only be worse.
After a little while, you simply resign and call for Jungkook. He arrives in a rush, and his heart breaks a little when he sees your defeated face.
âStruggling?â he asks when he notices your pants stuck at your knees level.
âI canât push them further than that,â you pout.
He walks in your direction, kneeling before you. âLet me help you.â
His hands carefully push your pants down and throw them onto the floor. Then, before even touching your panties, his eyes look up at you, asking for your consent. Even though you called him for help, he wouldnât want to cross any line. Consent is important, after all.
You simply nod, you donât have much of a choice here. His fingers brush against the skin of your hips, causing goosebumps all over your body. Last time he touched you there was the day you conceived Taemoo, sixteen years ago. Your eyes are frozen on him.
Jungkook grabs the hem of your panties to push them down your legs, his fingers brushing against your hot skin. Youâre now fully naked in front of him, and it feels incredibly weird although he already saw you like this. But at the same time, it feels reassuring to have him here with you.
âDo you want me to help you wash? Or would you be fine now?â he asks while standing up.
âHelp me please,â you almost beg. âNot sure Iâll be able to wash if I canât even remove my clothes,â you laugh a bit.
You try not to cry at this whole situation. Itâs better to laugh at it than cry.
âOkay,â he turns the water on. âYouâre going to wash your hair?â
âNo, no,â you answer. âJust my body.â
The man in front of you nods and hands you the showerhead.
âLet me know when it is too hot,â he tells you.
Youâre holding the showerhead with one hand while the other is below to check the water temperature. In the meantime, Jungkook removes his socks in order for him to get inside the shower.
Once done, his eyes look at you with admiration. For almost a month, youâve been going through hell with everything that has been going on. Youâve been handling things like a champion even though itâs sometimes very clear youâre suffering terribly. He has nothing but admiration for you.
His heart swells with happiness because, in the midst of all that, you chose to let him be by your side. He even got to kiss you.
âItâs good now,â you tell him with a smile. Â
Jungkook grabs the showerhead to run it over your body. He carefully executes the task while being extremely focused on not forgetting any body parts of yours.
âWith my mum, we always do the intimate parts at the end,â you inform him.
âNo problem,â he answers.
Once your body has been fully covered in water, he seizes the shower gel.
âDo you want to do it?â he asks with the gel in his hands.
Usually, with your mum, you do it, but with Jungkook, youâll gladly let him do it. You really want to feel his fingers touch your body.Â
âCould you please do it?â he nods.
Jungkook understands that you simply want to feel his touch, and he wonât complain as he desires nothing but to touch your soft skin.
There is nothing sexual about this moment. The two of you would even say that itâs a very intimate moment, even more intimate than sex.
The man covers your entire body with soap before holding back the showerhead to clean you. Once done, you stand up so you can clean your last body parts, which are your vagina and ass. This time around, you want to do it yourself as you feel like it could take a naughty turn if he touches you down there.
Jungkook leaves the shower. âWhere are the towels?â
âIn the storage cabinet below the sink,â you inform him.
Seconds later, when you cut the water, he wraps you in the towel before you sit back again on the stool.
âThanks for your help,â you say.
As you slowly wake up, you feel a warm presence behind you which is something not normal. Since youâve been back from the hospital, youâve been sleeping alone in your old bed.
Then, you start remembering what happened yesterday. After the shower, your parents arrived and were very delighted to see Jungkook. A bit later, your sister came from work. Your parents naturally invited him to stay for dinner.
Once dinner was over, you practically begged him to stay the night. You then went to your room, and watched âEnola Holmes 2â, but you instantly fell asleep with your body pressed against his, your head against his chest. Â His heartbeat was the little melody that rocked you to sleep.
Your eyes adjust to the light in which the room is immersed. You turn around to see Jungkook sleeping like a baby, and he looks absolutely adorable.
In this quite big bed, it seems like heâs so far away from you as he isnât close to you. Thereâs a distance between the two of you that makes you smile; you know he purposely put that distance. He respects you way too much, and he wouldnât do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.Â
You turn again before closing your eyes to remember what happened yesterday. It was an intense day, but intense in a good way. As you remember the kisses you shared, you run your fingers over your lips. He still kisses like a god. Â
Yesterday, you felt so much alive. You didnât feel that way for already a couple of years. Hopefully, this is a feeling thatâll stay longer. You donât want it to fade away so soon. Â
Suddenly, the bed moves behind you. A big hand carefully wraps around your waist while a mouth presses a gentle kiss on your shoulder, and a body snuggles up against yours. Instantly, your eyes close to savor this precise moment.Â
Both of you snuggle together for a little while, just enjoying the closeness of your bodies together. Waking up with someone and with his arms wrapped around you is something you havenât experienced in a while. The last time it happened was when you were still married to Minkyu.
âGood morning, sunshine,â he whispers with his hoarse morning voice before pressing a sweet kiss on your neck.Â
Goosebumps rise all over your skin because this is a beautiful way to wake up. Damn, you wouldnât mind waking up every day to this.
Jungkook feels your shivers beneath his hand, a smirk growing on his face. It feels like a victory to have already made you feel this good so early in the morning. Â
âMorning, Jungkook,â you whisper.Â
Naturally, your back arches, pushing your ass back to meet his crotch which makes him groan against your skin. Your cheeks instantly turn red and you push your ass away from his intimate parts.
âSorry,â you say.
Jungkook also feels a bit embarrassed that his little friend down there is already all turned on. But what can he say, he spent the night with the girl of his dreams.
âIâm the one whoâs sorry,â he whispers. âIâm already all turned on.â
Since youâre still flustered, you donât dare to turn to look at him. Heâs also grateful for that; he would hide his face in the pillow if you ever look at him.
âItâs not a bad thing,â you say. âI mean, itâs normal.â
âI know, but itâs awkward for both of us,â he answers.
For a moment, you donât say anything as you try to find your words.
âIâm actually flattered,â you break the silence. âWasnât expecting to turn someone on this early in the morning.â
Jungkook gets closer to you once more, his hard member pressing against your ass through his underwear. That feeling alone causes your walls to clench around emptiness. You also bite your lower lip to repress any moan that might escape your mouth. Youâre at your parentsâ house, anyone could hear you.
His arms wrap around your waist once more before he presses another kiss on your neck. A very soft moan manages to escape, causing Jungkook to feel some kind of pride. His fingers slip beneath your shirt to caress every part of your body with his cold fingers.
Your back arches at the sensation while one of your hands goes to his head, your fingers running through his hair. Your other hand goes to your mouth to muffle the sounds of your moans. You donât know exactly what time it is, so youâre not sure if thereâs somebody at the house. To be safe, itâs better not to moan like a mess.
Then, his fingers move down on your body, pushing your pajamasâ pants and underwear together. The cold air that brushes against your core makes you grow wetter. Thank god you have your hand in your mouth because thereâs no doubt this would have made you moan.
His fingers slowly get closer and closer to your bundle of nerves. By the time his fingers reach your clit, youâre already completely soaked.Â
âSomeone else is already all turned on,â he whispers in your ear before licking and nibbling it. âTell me what you want, sunshine.âÂ
The simple fact that he asks what you want is a big turn-on. Men tend to forget that during an intimate moment, it isnât all about themselves and their pleasure. Itâs about two people trying to give and have pleasure.
Your back arches a bit more, rubbing your ass more against his semi-hard cock. A deep growl echoes against your ear. Your mind is going completely crazy. Thereâs one thing you desperately crave right now: him inside you.
âYou,â is actually the first word that crosses your mind. âYou inside me with your hand on my throat,â you clarify.Â
Well, the only time you had sex with Jungkook, it was pretty wild. You both discovered how much you adored having his fingers tightly around your neck. It gave a totally other dimension to the sex. It was even more intense, and you loved it.
âYouâre sure?â he still asks to be sure.
He doesnât want to cause any more pain.Â
âAbsolutely,â you reassure him.
Your eyes close when his free hand finds its way to your neck, his wonderful and delicate tattooed fingers wrapping around your throat. This feels wonderful, and it gets you wetter.
As you feel a moan ready to leave your mouth, you sink your teeth into your lower lip. Thereâs no way youâre going to muffle all your moans. This is already too wild for you, and you know itâs going to get even wilder.
âIâd give anything to see the way you look with my hand around that pretty neck of yours, sunshineâ he whispers in the shell of your ear, his deep voice emphasizing the word âsunshineâ.Â
With your eyes closed, you can perfectly picture the way his hand fits on you. Jungkook can imagine it too, causing chills to run through his skin.Â
While his hand caresses your neck, the other one does wonders to your clit. The torture is exquisite, nothing feels as good as having his hands on you. His hand works harder on your core to make you wetter. The man is already desperate to give you what you want. Him inside you.Â
Once he feels youâre wet enough, his fingers leave your pussy alone to pull your leg up a bit, this way will be easier for him to push his cock inside you. Quite rapidly, he takes off his underwear.
âAt any time, let me know if I hurt you, okay?â he whispers with evident concern.
âDonât worry, Kook,â you say. Â
His lips pepper the back of your neck with kisses. Your hand goes behind to stroke his cock a bit before rubbing it for a little while against your soaked core.Â
âShit, yn,â he groans against your skin.Â
You bite your lower lip because, damn, itâs fucking hot to wake up to this.
As you feel him growing harder in your hand, you decide to push his length into your heated core. Your pussy sucks him all in, his head stretching you open as he goes further inside you.
âYou always feel amazing,â he hisses once he bottoms up.
Small and barely audible moans and whimpers leave the two of you as you both enjoy feeling your bodies connected. Jungkook doesnât move for a few seconds, giving your body time to adjust to him.
Itâs been a while since you last had sex together, and Jungkookâs cock tends to be quite big. That was for sure something youâd never forget. How could you? If you compare to all the dicks you experience, heâd be the biggest.
But it isnât the kind of big that makes it painful. Itâs actually the opposite. Youâd say that his dick is simply perfect.
âMove, Kook,â you give him a small slap on his ass to urge him.Â
You need him, in ways you canât even express.Â
The man doesnât need to be told twice before he starts thrusting into you very slowly and deeply with his hand still around your throat. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as the creaky bed quickly fills the room.Â
Jungkook takes all his time, he isnât rushing anything because damn, he wants you both to enjoy this moment. His lips stay on your shoulder, pressing soft kisses to avoid moaning. His other hand holds your leg up while he rolls his hips in a way that you absolutely adore.Â
The hand on your neck and his dick deep inside you are the perfect combos to make you come in a snap. None of you speak, only enjoying this torrid moment.
The man behind you feels that heâs slowly losing you, that youâre losing yourself further in the pleasure that only he can give you. So, he lightly tightens his hand around your throat to help you reach your orgasm faster.Â
âFuck,â you swear as his fingers wrap tighter around your neck.Â
This is more than bliss for you, you could just come right now because of his hand but you donât want to let go of your orgasm. You want to let it grow immensely until it becomes too overwhelming for you. You want this orgasm to be like an explosion of fireworks inside you.Â
âYou take me so well,â he whispers before bringing your face closer to his to press his lips against yours. Your walls clench around him causing his cock to twitch inside you. A guttural groan leaves his pretty lips, a groan that you happily swallow. Â
Wanting to bring him closer to the edge, you start moving your hips in circles while he keeps thrusting into you at a very slow and torturous pace. His lips leave yours, his eyes close shut, and barely audible moans keep flooding out of his mouth.   Â
âKeep doing that, yn,â he pants.  Â
His cock goes deeper inside you, filling you up fully and hitting all the right spots which causes the pleasure to grow stronger within you. Your moans are harder to suppress, it feels good to be railed by Jungkook this early in the morning. Morning sex is honestly one of the best types of sex.
He groans deeply against your ear, your orgasm building stronger and stronger. You know that in a matter of seconds, youâll be coming undone, and Jungkook senses it too. Your hips never stop moving in tandem with his but as you get closer to your high, your walls squeeze him harder.Â
As he gets lost in the euphoria of the moment, he starts thrusting more harshly. Both of you are chasing your own orgasm while bringing the other closer to the edge. It doesnât take you too much time to be fiercely hit by that overwhelming wave of pleasure, making you come undone around his massive cock.Â
âJungkook, fuck!â you cry with ecstasy, your hips stopping completely to move but the man behind you never stops moving.Â
âCan I come inside?â you simply nod, barely able to make a proper sentence in the middle of this euphoric state.  Â
Both his hands move to your hips, gripping them tightly as he releases his thick load inside you. A lewd moan escapes your mouth when he pumps his hot cum inside you, pushing it as deep as possible inside you.Â
For a little while, both of you stay in this position, his hands still holding you tight against him while his cock remains inside you. None of you wants to break this moment but you have to since youâll need to leave the bed. Â
Very slowly, you remove yourself from his cock to stand up from the bed. âCan I ask you to help me put on my underwear and pants?â you ask.
Without hesitation, Jungkook stands up while grabbing your clothes. As yesterday, he kneels before you to dress you. A smile spreads across your face as you look down at him. This man is, without any doubt, the kind of man you want to have in your life. Heâs been nothing but a sweetheart with you.
âThanks a lot, Jk,â you say once fully dressed.
The man carefully spreads your legs to situate himself between them.
âNo problem, sunshine,â he presses a gentle kiss on your lips.
âAlso, Iâd like to mention that I take the pill,â you mention with a silly smile on your face. âSo we wonât have any other surprise kid.â
Jungkook smiles and kisses you once more.
âIâm glad to know that,â he whispers against your lips.
Still fully naked, he stands up to assist you to do the same. Once youâre straightened up, you take the glamorous cane. At the same time, Jungkook puts his clothes back on because thereâs no way heâs going to leave this bedroom naked. Itâd be way too embarrassing.
This impressive man helps you go to the bathroom and, then, to the kitchen. At first, it seems like thereâs only the two of you since you donât hear any noise. However, to your surprise, when you reach the kitchen, you find your sister sitting at the table and eating breakfast.
âGood morning,â you say with evident joy.
âOnly good morning to you,â she snaps back.
You frown with confusion. Your sister looks you dead in the eyes, totally ignoring Jungkookâs presence in the same room.
âI really didnât need to know how you two conceived your first kid,â she explains.
Both you and Jungkook open your eyes wide; you werenât expecting that at all. But there were chances that someone would have heard you. Itâs definitely weird your sister was the one. You wouldnât want to hear her having sex with someone.
âHopefully, this time around, there wonât be any other kid,â Jungkook manages to say. Â
Your sister laughs a bit. âI like this one,â she takes a sip of coffee. âHe seems better than the other ones, and heâs also a lot hotter than them.â
Jungkook starts laughing as he helps you to take a seat.
âSheâs funny,â he whispers to your ear.
âDonât be silly,â you tell your sister. âAnd please, go find a guy so you donât drool over mine.â
Although you havenât defined your relationship for now, heâs flattered you consider him as âyour guyâ.
âHow can I compete with a firefighter?â she teases. âAnyone will feel boring next to Jungkook,â she adds.
âIf you want, I can introduce you to my colleagues,â he suggests.
âDonât encourage her in her nonsense,â you tell him.
âYes, please,â she says with enthusiasm.
You roll your eyes. Sheâs unbelievable and definitely very crazy, but thatâs maybe why you love her so damn much. Â
After that, together with Jungkook, you prepare breakfast while speaking with your sister. She leaves a couple of minutes later because she needs to meet with her best friend downtown. And right after her, Jungkook leaves you alone in your parentsâ house which breaks your heart. However, you donât stay very long by yourself as your kids come to visit you with their father.
Three weeks later
You and Jungkook are sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant. Your heart is beating fast with nervousness.
âEverything is going to be fine,â he tries to reassure you while resting his hand on top of yours.
âDonât know,â you mumble.
Today, youâve organized a dinner with Jungkook and Taemoo; your first time as a family. Itâs weird to even think about it, but Taemoo really wanted to spend some time with you, together. Since he proposed this, youâve been feeling very nervous. Youâre a bit scared of how things will go when youâre finally the three of you together.
âThereâs no reason for this to not go well,â he answers.
Before you can even answer, Taemoo joins you with a bright smile on his face. Like the first time you met him, heâs very well dressed.
âHello,â he says. âI brought you these,â he hands you a tiny bouquet composed of three sunflowers. âItâs one sunflower for each of us.â
Your heart has completely melted now. This kid is so damn thoughtful, just like his biological father. His parents definitely raised him well, and it only reassures you that the decision you made sixteen years ago was the right one.
âHello, Taemoo,â you say while standing up to hold your son in your arms. âThanks a lot.â
Your firstborn wraps his arms around yours. This is a heartfelt moment; being able to hug him fills your heart with so much love. It feels like holding Jiwoo even though you didnât raise Taemoo. Unfortunately, you canât hold him for a long moment due to your wonderful knees. So he then greets Jungkook before taking a seat in the empty chair.
âThanks for accepting this,â those are his first words.
Although he seems very happy and relaxed, you notice heâs a bit stressed.
âAfter seeing you separately, I really wanted to spend a bit of time with the two of you,â he starts saying. âNot sure how this will evolve in the future, but Iâd like to sometimes organize this kind of diner.â
For the past few weeks, your life has drastically changed, and honestly, sometimes, you feel like itâs too much. However, having Jungkook and Sunny back in your life is what you consider to be a blessing. In all this chaos, you found two deeply important people that you left sixteen years ago.
The sixteen-year-old version of you was devasted to part ways from them two, thinking that youâll never see them again. If she could see this today, the heartbreak would have been less painful. But that version of you is beyond happy today to see the three of you sitting at the same table.
This car accident destroyed your knees and stomach, but it has brought you Jungkook and Sunny. All of this would not be happening without this accident.
You also canât wait to see your three other little munchkins with the man you love and their older sibling. Undoubtedly, that day will be the most wonderful day of your life. Now, you feel like you can finally truly be happy. You now have all the people you need to be happy. Â Â Â
#bts#bts fanfic#bts imagine#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts angst#jungkook angst#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#wait for your love#spideyjimin
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Jinx x reader
- Jesus fucking christ this woman is actually so fine in season 2. I didn't expect this.
- â ïž : Contains spoilers of S2, No nsfw, affectionate stuff and nice jinx. Headcanons of jinx I have during s2. May seem unrealistic but I'm going by all I can sense.
- After Silco's tragic death, Jinx certainly had changed alot. The girl who was never afraid of taking risks was becoming almost invisible.
- First thing you noticed about her after Silco's death was the way she was more calm. She wouldn't hallucinate that terribly anymore. Sometimes during nights she would wake up due to nightmares.
- Overall, she was calmer. There wasn't anyone trying to manipulate her anymore and make her worse and you were not a bad person.
- Your relationship was once riskfull, chaotic and full of arguments. You and jinx would get into alot of disagreements at first but now..
- She had turned more quite, She used her body to express herself more instead of words, She had became more affectionate and last but not least, silently obsessed with you.
- Not that she was never obsessed with you. Not a day would go on and without her questioning "Are you going to leave me?" Plus, more careful and it felt like she was everywhere with you even if she wasn't physically there.
- She would show her affections through small gestures, sometimes holding your thumb or pinky finger, sometimes putting her hand lightly on your back and sometimes giving you small pecks on different part of your body.
- During the nights, she would be the most affectionate. Holding you close to her, you were afraid anymore pressure from her and you would break.
- Unlike how you thought, she wouldn't cry infront of you about Silco. Not only that, she would comfort you all the time as if her own pains had never existed.
- After Isha's grand entrance to you guys' lives, She went on full mom mode. Not only for Isha, but you too. You would sometimes find it funny how she would become worried for Isha or you.
- With Isha entering her life, she became even nicer and happier. She definitely awoke Jinx's innerchild and you definitely didn't know how to thank the little girl for simply falling on Jinx.
- A crazy, manipulated, afraid and frustrated jinx was now anything but those words.
#jinx x fem!reader#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane x female reader#arcane imagines#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#jinx arcane#jinx x y/n#jinx x reader#jinx x fem reader#jinx#jinx league of legends#jinx x you
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Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending
If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.
So let's break these down!
Lae'zel:
I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.
This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.
Karlach:
Fuck you.
Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.
Wyll:
I... I forgive you.
This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.
There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.
Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:
I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.
Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?
(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)
Selunite Shadowheart:
I... I thought we were going to save each other...
This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.
She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.
Gale:
You made me want to live...
From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.
It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.
Spawn Astarion:
I should have killed you when I had the chance...
The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.
And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?
All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.
Ascended Astarion:
No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...
In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.
But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?
He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.
Halsin:
Thaniel... goodbye...
Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.
So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.
And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.
Minthara:
No... we were meant to do this together...
Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.
#halsin#shadowheart#astarion#gale dekarios#karlach#lae'zel#minthara#wyll#wyll ravengard#jenevelle hallowleaf#halsin silverbough#astarion ancunin#karlach cliffgate#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3#dark urge#the dark urge#spoilers
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Inevitable (Alex Summers x Reader)
Inevitable (Alex Summers x Reader) Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Word Count: 13,014 Warnings: violence, angst, fluff, death, injuries, mentions of unable to have children, sad ending, implied sexual actions Spoilers: I guess the plots of X-Men First Class, Days of Future Past, and Apocalypse but the films have been out for years so don't at me.
This is the story of Y/N L/N and Alex Summers - of Aura, the girl who could turn invisible and manipulate energy around her, and Havok, the boy who could generate and blast plasma from his body. A boy destined for destruction, and a girl who could prevent it.
Their story was always inevitable.
I'm going through an X-Men rewatch and I forgot how much of a chokehold some of these characters had me in, especially from the First Class era. As you can probably tell from my previous stories, I have an soft spot for the tragic ones, so here is my little story of Alex Summers who bloody deserved better.
1962 - C.I.A. Mutant Division
Y/N looked around at her surroundings as she followed Erik and Charles down corridor after corridor. She'd never met C.I.A agents before, let alone stepped inside one of their facilities. But Erik and Charles aren't C.I.A., she reminded herself as she took in the bland concrete walls and cold, harsh lighting above her. They were like her - mutants.
She hadn't believed them at first when they'd told her just a few hours ago inside the cafe she was closing up for the day. It had been a busy day and she hadn't had time for a drink of water let alone any reasonable break. She thought she was hallucinating when the two had entered the cafe, prattling on about how they knew who she was.
It was only when she demanded they prove it - that they were like her - and the taller one (Erik) had lifted every piece of dirty cutlery in the store and had them float into the foaming sink to be cleaned that she believed them.
That was almost seven hours ago, the drive from New York to Virginia giving the men more than enough time to bring her up to speed on what they were doing and why: they were gathering other mutants like her to stop another war from starting.
As she followed the two men through the facility, only now did she start to have doubts about their intentions. For all she knew, she was going to be experimented on and tortured, possibly killed.
'If we'd wanted you dead, we would've made sure of that back in New York,' Charles suddenly said without looking as he and Erick led the way.
'What? How did you-' Y/N started to ask, but cut herself off as she remembered what Charles' gift allowed him to do.
Y/N noticed her surroundings starting to change. Instead of a war bunker, the corridors started looking more home-like and the lights grew warmer. As they approached a big orange door, Y/N heard voices speaking and laughing in the room beyond. They sounded... happy.
Finally, Charles looked at her and spoke, but not with his mouth. I promise you, Y/N, he said into her mind, freaking her out a little bit, you don't have to be scared here. You don't have to hide who you are from the people beyond this door. Here, you can be free. Happy, even.
Y/N looked between Charles and the door for a moment, imagining whose faces belonged to which laugh, which voice. She imagined herself doing those same things, and that was what convinced her that she was in the right place.
'Are you ready to meet your new family?' Charles asked aloud this time, to which Y/N nodded and Erik opened the door.
Y/N was met with six people sitting around a coffee table chatting and laughing while having a few drinks. She took a moment to admire them all - a short girl with dark hair and visible tattoos all along her shoulders and arms; a red-head who seemed to be doing a lot of the talking in the group; a man with charcoal skin and broad shoulders in a tight grey vest-shirt; a boy with glasses who looked really shy next to a gorgeous blonde girl who could very well have been a super model; and a blond boy in a dark t-shirt and leather jacket who had the smoothest smile Y/N had ever seen.
They were the perfect picture - how could she possibly interrupt that? Y/N was about to leave when suddenly Charles called for everyone's attention and that smooth smile from the blond was now aimed at her. Her heart thudded in her chest, embarrassment at being caught flooding her cheeks and she just had the visceral response to hide, hide, hide.
'Everyone,' Charles started proudly as he motioned to Y/N, 'this is Y/N. She will be- Wait, where did she go?'
Y/N watched as everyone looked around the room even though she she hadn't moved. Both Charles and Erik looked at her, but they didn't seem to see her. That's when she looked down at her hands and found her entire body covered in a translucent light only she could see. And that could only mean one thing.
'Sorry, I'm right here.' Y/N concentrated hard on revealing herself and when she could no longer see the translucent light, she knew she could be seen again.
'Whoa,' the red-head said, his mouth gaping in shock.
'That... is wicked cool,' the broad-shouldered man exclaimed.
'As I was saying before,' Charles said, sounding sheepish at forgetting her ability, 'this is Y/N. She will be joining you all and her gift... Well, we will leave that to her to discuss that with you all. Erik?'
'Yes,' Erik replied, and then the two of them were gone, closing the door behind them and leaving Y/N standing all alone.
Y/N was usually a confident person - she had to be as a waitress - but having six pairs of eyes staring at her so intently had her wanting to hide again. The beautiful blonde stood up from her place on the white couch and sauntered over to her. Y/N found herself looking up at the woman, who seemed to have legs for days and the most beautiful smile as she approached.
'I'm Raven,' she said, holding a hand out in greeting. When Y/N shook her hand, she gestured to the couch. 'You've come at the best time. We were all just about to discuss our gifts with one another.'
Y/N was quickly dragged to the couch and plunged into an in-depth conversation with the six. After only a few minutes, Y/N felt as if she'd always been there, talking and laughing and joking around and becoming more confident. Although, she couldn't compete with the blond boy with the smooth smile from earlier, now known as Alex Summers.
In the short time she'd heard him speak, she'd deduced he was the cockiest man in every room ever. No wonder he was put into solitary confinement, she thought when he mentioned he was picked up by Charles and Erik at his army base. He's probably been the instigator of more than one fight.
'We should think of some code names,' Raven suggested enthusiastically. 'We're technically government agents now. We should have code names. I want to be called Mystique.'
'Damn, I wanted to be called Mystique,' Sean, the red-head, groaned in fake misery, causing everyone to laugh.
'Well, tough. I called it,' Raven said, then her voiced changed as she physically did, eliciting gasps from the group as she now sat as an exact replica of Sean. 'And I am way more mysterious than you.'
The group gave her a round of applause as she morphed back into the beautiful blonde, but now that she'd revealed her gift, Y/N wondered if what she showed everyone now was her true form or just another disguise.
One by one they went around the room, showing off their abilities and coming up with names for each other. The mood somewhat soured when Angel asked Hank who he wanted to be.
'How about Bigfoot?' Alex jested as he took another sip of his coke. His condescending laughter communicated that it wasn't a nice joke, and that didn't sit well with Y/N.
'Well you know what they say about guys with big feet,' Raven said, eyeing his own feet before she continued, 'and, um, yours are kind of small.'
Alex's smirk dropped instantaneously as the group laughed and oohed at Raven's burn. Except for Darwin, who rounded the group back to the topic at hand.
'Okay, okay, settle down now,' he said. 'What can you do, Alex. What is your gift?'
'How about being burnt by women?' Y/N murmured just loud enough for the group to hear, earning another round of laughs and a hard glare from Alex. Y/N held his gaze with a smirk in challenge, taking a sip of her own drink. He might've been top dog back in army bootcamp, but Y/N didn't like bullies, especially if they were meant to be teammates.
Alex eventually dropped his glare, his whole demeanour changing as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 'Um, it's just... It's just that... I can't do... I can't do it in here.'
'Can you do it out there?' Darwin asked, and when Alex hesitated to answer, the rest of the group started goading and pleading him to show his abilities. Y/N even found herself intrigued. What could Alex do that he needed open space for?
The group cheered victoriously as Alex gave in to peer pressure, put his drink down and climbed through the broken glass courtesy of Sean moments before. As Alex set up outside, Y/N joined the others who leaned out the broken window to watch him.
'Get down when I tell you,' Alex said as he lined up in front of the bronze statue that's head still smoked - courtesy of Angel's fireball during her demonstration.
'Get back,' Alex said, and Y/N leaned back with the rest of the group, but they all apparently were too intrigued and so they all leaned out from behind the wall to watch him.
Alex went to make a move until he realised the group hadn't listened to him. 'Get back!' he warned again, but when no one moved, he faced the statue again. 'Whatever.'
Y/N found herself gaping at Alex as he seemingly powered up, red rings of plasma rotating around him until he slung them out into the open space but uncontrolled. The last one hit the statue, slicing it on a diagonal that had its head and part of its torso falling to the grass in flames.
The group erupted in rounds of applause as Alex walked back to them. He appeared more confident now as his teammates applauded. Y/N figured he wasn't used to that. Perhaps that was why he'd been in solitary confinement as much as he had been.
'Well, I'm glad you did that out here,' Darwin said, looking at the wreckage slightly worried. 'You've caused... a bit of chaos.'
'I can't control it, unfortunately,' Alex said, looking at the damage he'd caused. 'I'm hoping that might change one day.'
'Don't be ashamed of your gift, Alex,' Raven said, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 'You're amazing.' She looked to the rest of the group. 'We all are.'
When Raven did that, Alex's attention fell onto Y/N again, a skeptical look on his face. 'So what about you? Do you do anything useful or do you just disappear when you get a little embarrassed?'
Y/N's cheeks heated with anger. Who the hell was he to judge her? He didn't even know her.
'At least I don't cause havoc with my gift,' she bit back, motioning to the flaming buildings and statue.
Where a normal person would look at the damage and wince with remorse, Alex had the audacity to look at his handiwork and laugh in amusement. 'Havoc. I like that. Maybe that should be my code name, except change the c to a k so it looks cooler written down.'
Y/N rolled her eyes while the others complimented how good a name it was. But she had to admit it was a fitting one, just a shame he turned her insult into a name for a hero.
Y/N released a sigh then held out a hand to the fires in the courtyard, concentrating on grasping the energy in the air. After a moment, small bubbles of white energy appeared and Y/N was vaguely aware that her new friends had gone quiet as she forced the bubbles to encapsulate the fires. With a flick of her fingers, the bubbles started shrinking, depriving the fires of oxygen and eventually extinguishing them.
When Y/N turned back to the group, she found them all gaping at her in wonder and shock.
'Well, that was cool,' Angel said, earning hums of agreement from the others.
'What exactly did you just do?' Hank asked.
'I don't really know what it is,' Y/n answered honestly. 'But, I think I can manipulate energy or something like that. I can create those force fields, and as you saw before...'
Y/N let the energy hide her, and she relished the shocked faces of her friends as they could no longer see her. Feeling cheeky, she ran at Alex then dropped and swiped his legs out from underneath him, sending him sprawling to the ground.
He landed with a resounding thud, his breath escaping him in a loud, 'Oof,' as he did. Only then did Y/N reveal herself, looking down at him with a smug smile.
'...I can turn invisible.'
The others clapped in appreciation of her demonstration while Alex looked up at her in annoyance. Y/N offered her hand to help him up and surprisingly he took it and together they pulled him to his feet.
'So what, you can control, like, the Force, or something?' he asked.
Y/N rolled her eyes. 'This isn't Star Wars, asshole. It's more like... I can feel the aura of the energy around me and I connect with it and then use it to my will.'
'That's it!' Angel exclaimed suddenly. 'That's your name!"
'What is?' Y/N asked, confused.
'Aura!'
'Aura.' Y/N tried it on her tongue. She had to admit, it had a nice ring to it.
'Aura, Havok, Banshee, Darwin, Angel...' Raven said each of their new code names as she looked at them, grabbing a drink for herself from the table. She looked to Hank. 'We'll find one for you soon, Hank,' she reassured, then pointed to herself. 'And Mystique.' She raised her drink high and everyone else did the same. 'Here's to our new life. Here's to being our true selves.'
'Here, here,' Sean said as they all clinked their drinks together in solidarity.
'So, what do you think?' Alex said just to Y/N as seperate conversations between the others started. Angel switched on some music and her and Raven jumped on the coffee table to start dancing.
'About what?' Y/N asked.
'Are you going to be your true self here? With us?' he asked, and there was a little challenge in his question, as if he really wanted to add Or are you going to hide away?
Y/N had so far lived her life in constant fear. But Erik and Charles said they needed her, that the world needed her. Perhaps it was time to stop hiding.
Y/N flashed Alex a small smile, reflecting his challenge in her own eyes. 'I don't think you could handle the true me, Havok.'
Alex's grin widened devilishly. 'Try me, Aura.'
1962 - X Mansion, pre-Cuba
It had been weeks since the C.I.A Mutant Division facility had been attacked by Shaw, that Angel had chosen his side, that Darwin had sacrificed himself in the effort to save them all, Angel included.
Egos bruised and hope extinguished, Charles had brought those who remained back to his mansion to train for the upcoming battle with Shaw. Which is what Y/N was doing with Raven when Charles entered the gym requesting her presence in the war bunker.
'You want me to what?' both Alex and Y/N exclaimed together in the bunker, gaping at Charles because he'd clearly lost his mind.
'You heard me,' Charles said nonchalantly, walking to stand in the middle of the room. 'I want you two to spar while you, Y/N, protect me. Expand your range of concentration so you can control different energies at once, manipulate numerous fields doing different things simultaneously. Alex now has the tools he needs to control his power so he won't be as volatile as he once was.'
'Hey now,' Alex said, clearly offended.
Charles offered a mediocre apologetic smile before readdressing Y/N. 'You have to push the limits you have set for yourself in order to become stronger. I can sense your full potential hasn't even been scraped at yet. How about we try today.'
Y/N looked between Charles and Alex, who also looked at Charles like he was crazy. But there was an air of truth to his demands. Shaw was no novelty mutant, and neither were Angel and the other mutants following him. If Y/N didn't do this, she would be their next victim, and what kind of teammate would she be if she died too early?
Y/N eventually nodded her agreement. 'Okay, let's do this.'
'You sure about this?' Alex asked her.
'Aw, is big old Alex Summers worried about hurting me?' Y/N taunted, though she didn't really know why. His concern was sort of sweet.
It disgusted her.
Alex's concern scrunched up in annoyance on his stupidly beautiful face. 'No. I just... Oh, screw this. Fine let's spar, L/N.'
Y/N went to stand at one end of the bunker and Alex at the opposite end. Charles planted himself right in the middle of the two, looking too casual for Y/N's liking. Did he really have that much faith in them?
'Whenever you two are ready,' Charles called out, rocking on the back of his heels in anticipation.
'Okay,' Alex said hesitantly as he fired himself up. His new chest plate helped him to control his plasma so he surely would hit the professor if Y/N didn't do something.
Just as Alex fired, Y/N placed a force field over Charles and the plasma blast bounced off it and straight back at Alex. Alex had to duck quickly as his own blast came hurtling back at him, and Charles let out a small laugh as the blast made a small dent in the wall behind Alex.
'Well this is going to be fun,' Charles said, and the fight truly begun.
Alex would sling shot after shot at Y/N and the professor, but Y/N deflected every shot and held the force field around the professor soundly. At one point, Y/N managed to to turn in visible while Alex was distracted and landed a few blows.
But Alex managed to knock her back, the blow forcing her to reveal herself. She had no time to worry about being exposed however, as Alex powered up for what seem to be one giant blast. Y/N managed to bring up a force field around her as the blast connected, but instead of bouncing up off it, the plasma seemed to sink into the force field.
Y/n looked around in confusion, feeling the energy flowing stronger through the force field and increasing with every second. She was vaguely aware of someone calling her name - it sounded like Charles - but the energy was becoming too much to hold up now.
Y/N let out a cry as she released the force field, and the shockwave it sent through the bunker sent both her and Alex flying to opposite ends of the bunker.
Y/N smacked into the solid brick hard, sending an intense throbbing through her head as she hit the ground. Her vision blurred and she felt drained of power like never before. Two blurry figures were in front of her, their mouthes moving but not saying a word. She thought they were saying her name.
After a few more seconds, her hearing came back to her as well as her vision, showing Alex and Charles kneeling beside her with worry on their faces.
'Y/N, can you hear me?' Charles asked, scanning over her body for any injuries.
'Are you okay? Can you hear us? Say something,' Alex said, eyes searching her face for any sign that she understood anything they were saying.
Y/N hummed in reassurance and his worry dissipated into relief. Alex quickly helped her into a sitting position as she gathered herself. 'Well,' she breathed out, giving Alex an amused smile, 'that was... fun.'
This elicited a laugh out of both men as they helped her to her feet. Y/N was very aware of Alex's hand holding her steady on the small of her back as they both listened to Charles.
'My! You two create quite the show,' he exclaimed with an enthusiasm that kind of scared Y/N. 'Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant work, you two. You have both grown in leaps and bounds these past few weeks. I daresay you will both be quite powerful when you fully master your gifts. Now, take the afternoon off, possibly head to Hank in the lab for some patching up and look overs. I will see you both first thing tomorrow.'
'He sounds like a professor talking to students,' Alex muttered after Charles had left.
Y/N shrugged. 'Well, we kind of are students, so I guess that would make him our professor.'
The two shared a small laugh and both their eyes slipped to his arm, which was attached to the hand that still pressed gently against her back. Alex quickly dropped his hand and Y/N took a decent step away from him. Well now it's awkward.
'G-Good fight,' Alex finally said after seconds of silence, unable to meet her eyes. He did the thing where he rubbed his neck and Y/N's stomach did a little flip at how cute the gesture was.
Quit that, she told herself, then realised she hadn't responded to him. 'Y-yeah. You too. Sorry... for sending you into the wall.'
'It's okay. I've been hit harder,' he said, and his cocky smirk was back. Something about his statement rubbed Y/N up the wrong way, like he was undermining her ability. That was a pretty decent fight they just had.
Y/N just huffed and stormed out of the bunker. 'Whatever,' she muttered as she left him behind.
'Hey,' Alex called out as he ran to catch up with her. 'What's wrong? You want me to apologise too? Okay, I'm sorry for sending you into the wall, too. There? Happy?'
'You know,' she started, stomping up the stairs that would take her to the first floor of the mansion, 'you can be such a jerk, Alex.'
'What are you talking about?' he asked, and he had the audacity to sound genuinely clueless.
At the top of the stairs Y/N finally stopped to let Alex catch up. She didn't care that he was taller than her, she looked up at him with annoyance in her eyes. 'You can never admit that someone could be better than you, let alone that they could be your equal.'
His face screwed up in confusion. 'What? That's not what I meant. Where did you get that impression from?'
'You think yourself superior to us all, and for what? We all have gifts, Alex. We are all special and useful and powerful. Yet you make fun of Hank, you belittle me. What is your problem?!'
Alex stepped towards Y/N, closing what little space there had been between until she felt his breath brushing her heated cheeks. 'You know, I was just about to pay you a compliment but forget it.'
'I wouldn't want a compliment from you, Alex. They're more like insults than anything,' Y/N said then stormed off.
'Princess!' Alex called out after her in a last ditch effort to have the last word.
'Jerk!' she answered over her shoulder.
'Coward!'
'Asshole!'
Y/N finally entered the lab and Hank was already looking at her crossed arms.
'You know, you two really need to take your fights outside,' he simply said, already reaching for his equipment to check her health.
Y/N raised a brow in a silent question, to which Hank responded, 'The walls and floors to this place aren't as thick as they appear.'
Downstairs where Y/N had left Alex smouldering, a certain telepath entered Alex's mind. Well that's an interesting flirting tactic.
'Oh, piss off,' Alex hissed aloud as he walked in the opposite direction towards his assigned bedroom. Y/N was the most aggravating person in existence. Flirting with her was the last thing on Alex's mind.
I don't know, I think you two would make a rather nice couple, Charles interjected again.
'I said piss off!'
1962 - Cuba Beach
Y/N was locked in a fight with Riptide when she saw Alex and Sean crash onto the beach, Angel having shot them down. As she went to attack, Alex shoved Sean out of range as he unleashed his uncontrolled plasma rings, his chest plate missing.
He caught her wings, slicing them in half and sending her flying to the ground, but as Alex helped Sean to his feet, Y/N spied Angel get to her feet, rage in her eyes and fire burning in her mouth.
Alex's back was turned. He would never see it coming.
Y/N, rejuvenated by the threat, turned back to Riptide and conjured up a large energy wave and sent it hurtling at Riptide. He tried bringing up a wall of wind to counteract it, but the wave was stronger and sent him into the side of the uprooted submarine. He fell to the sand with a hard thud and didn't move.
Y/N immediately ran for Alex and Sean, hands raised and conjuring up a force field around her friends just as Angel spat fireball after fireball at the two of them. The fireballs bounced right off the force field, angering Angel even more as she turned her attention to Y/N.
Before she could attack, Y/N trapped Angel in another force field, raised her off the beach, and sent her out over the ocean where she finally let the force field drop. It hurt her to hear her old friend's scream as she fell into the deep water, but Angel had done this to herself.
Y/N turned back to the boys. 'Are you two okay?' she asked, looking over them for any injuries. All she could find was Alex's bare chest and a hole in Sean's wing suit.
'We had it covered,' Alex said, his tone annoyed.
Y/N scoffed. She couldn't believe it. He was still being a self-righteous jerk in the middle of a battle?
'I just saved your life, asshole,' she said, stepping towards him in anger. 'Maybe you should be thanking me instead of complaining like a little boy.'
'Get down,' he said, his eyes on something over her shoulder, but she didn't care. He wasn't listening, but she would make him.
'Don't you tell me what to do you self-righteous jerk-'
'I said get down!'
Before she knew what was happening, Alex was pushing her behind him as he sent plasma rings at Riptide, who Y/N obviously hadn't knocked out entirely and was lining up to attack her from behind.
Riptide saved himself from being sliced like the statue back at the C.I.A. with a small tornado, but the impact from the plasma rings sent him flying over the submarine and out of sight.
'And I just saved yours,' Alex said as her tuned back to a shocked Y/N. He was panting heavily, obviously not used to exerting so much energy in such a short time frame. 'Now we're even.'
The way his words were haggard from his lack of breath made his voice raspy and Y/N hated how much the sound tingled up her spine pleasantly.
Y/N opened her mouth to retort at him - tell him how stupid and reckless and irresponsible and idiotic he was - but she couldn't find anything to say, and so snapped her gaping gob shut in indignation. The two just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, eyes locked as so many unspoken emotions passed between each other.
Until Sean walked in between the two of them, shaking his head in disbelief. 'Damn, get a room, you two,' he said, his tone both disgusted and amused as he started walking back to Charles and Moira still on the crashed jet.
'We're not-' Y/N started.
'It's nothing like-' Alex interjected at the same time, but Sean was already out of earshot.
Y/N and Alex looked back at each other, both their cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
Alex was the one to finally break the silence. 'We should...' he trailed off as he gestured after Sean.
'Right,' Y/N immediately answered, grateful for the change in subject. They still had a fight to win, otherwise the whole world would fall into another war.
Y/N and Alex followed Sean swiftly, happy to leave the awkward interaction behind them. But even after the fight, Y/N didn't know about Alex, but maybe there was a little truth to what Sean's words implied. It wasn't that Alex was unattractive. He was just... infuriating.
But he had saved her life, put his body on the line protect her. That meant he cared for her in some capacity... right?
1967 - X Mansion
'You're what?!' Y/N exclaimed, standing up from her seat in the middle of Charles' office.
'I'm sorry, Y/N, but I have no choice,' Charles said, his voice sad and exhausted.
Y/N should've seen this coming. She'd seen the signs. How Charles had let his hair grow out, how the shadow of a beard grazed his jawline. How he lounged in his wheelchair instead of sitting with his usual perfect posture. And the hope and colour of his eyes had faded to loss and hopelessness.
'Yes, you do,' Y/N argued, slamming her hands on his desk. 'You can choose to keep fighting. You can choose to keep helping and teaching. You can choose hope, Charles.'
'There is no hope left, Y/N,' Charles replied, dejected as he looked anywhere but Y/N's eyes. 'Erik was right. The world is not meant for mutants. The world does not want mutants.'
Y/N walked around the desk to kneel before his wheelchair. 'You can't truly believe that, Charles,' she said trying to catch his gaze. 'After all you have done, after everything we've been through, you cannot believe that. Look at what you've achieved!'
She gestured to the room, but she meant the school as a whole, whose corridors buzzed with students who possessed unique powers. Admittedly the numbers had dwindled significantly because of the Vietnam War, with most of the teachers and the older students being drafted. Y/N had managed to not be drafted so far, and had dedicated every second she had to teaching. She was now in her late 20s and had learned all she could as a student. It was her turn to teach the next generation what it means to be a mutant.
But regardless of numbers, there were still children who needed help. They couldn't close. They just couldn't.
'Please, Charles,' she said, placing a gentle hand on his cheek to guide his eyes to meet hers. He looked in so much pain - a pain Y/N couldn't see but she could certainly try to understand. 'There is still hope. There is still good in the world. We just have to find it again.'
Charles didn't say anything at first, and Y/N took that as a sign that maybe she'd gotten through to him. Since beginning her teaching career, Charles had become like an older brother to her. He hadn't given up on her when she didn't believe in herself all those years ago, she wasn't going to give up on him now.
But Charles gently took her hand away from his face and turned his chair so he faced away from her. 'Hope is a human error. I've already made up my mind, Y/N. I suggest you forget about all of this and go live what life you have left. God knows society won't allow you a full one.'
Y/N remained crouching, too shocked to argue, too horrified to be angry. As Charles turned his back on her - busied himself with his bookshelf - Y/N left the room in a daze, still unsure what had just happened. That's how she felt for the rest of the day as she taught and supervised, students constantly asking her if she was okay as she usually wasn't as silent as she was.
Y/N easily deflected the questions, but she couldn't ignore the breaking of her heart every time she spoke with a student, saw them master an ability, ask a question. How would she break the news to them? A more accurate question would be how could she? They looked up to her, to Charles, to all of them. Some of them had no homes to go back to, no families that accepted them or no families at all.
By the time the last bell rang, Y/N was on the brink of breaking down.
It was now late at night, the children well and truly asleep. But Y/N remained awake, walking the mansion, dreading breaking the news tomorrow during the assembly. God knew Charles was in no condition to break the news himself even though he was the headmaster. And Hank hated public speaking despite being a teacher. No, she had to do it, but she'd be breaking hundreds of hearts in the process.
As she reached the front foyer, looking around and remembering her first few days there, remembering the first few days of the school opening and it being full of enthusiastic and excited children, tears welled up in her eyes.
They'd just started to slip when the front doors clanged open. Y/N immediately went into defensive mode, her hands lighting up as her mutation activated
Alex threw his hands up in faux surrender. 'Whoa! Easy Y/N, it's just me!'
Y/N breathed a long sigh of relief as she let her hands drop. 'Jesus, Alex. You mind knocking next time? What are you even doing here? It's two in the morning.'
Alex was also a teacher at the school, but he sometimes slept off campus as his family home was just a few suburbs away. He usually didn't slip back in until just before class though so this encounter was a little surprising.
'I needed to see the professor,' he said, then his face scrunched with worry as he looked over Y/N. 'Were you just crying?'
Y/N quickly turned her back to him to wipe away the tears that had escaped. 'I'm fine. It's nothing.'
'No it's not,' Alex said, and he took quick steps until he stood beside Y/N. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and managed to turn her to face him. He looked down at her with such concern Y/N felt more tears welling up.
He was a dick. From the day they'd met he'd solidified that for himself. But the past five years had seen him mature, grow, change in ways Y/N had no idea he was capable of. She saw how gentle he was with the children, how fiercely protective he'd become of them.
And while they still clashed and fought like cats and dogs, they'd found comfort in each other more than once. They would always laugh on the terrace late at night as they had a nightcap, downloading their days to one another; Y/N would occasionally bring Alex food when she knew he hadn't made it to lunch because he was so busy with work; and Y/N would wake up sometimes from nightmares to Alex comforting her.
Out of all the original X-Men group, those two had become the closest. With Charles busy running the school, Hank busy with his lab, Raven, Erik, and Angel off recruiting for their Brotherhood, and Sean deciding to go see the world, Alex and Y/N only had each other.
'What's wrong?' Alex asked so gently. 'What happened?'
Y/N couldn't get a word out, her heartbreak finally bubbling to the surface as tears and sibs wracked her body.
'Hey, hey, hey,' Alex said as he pulled her tight to his chest, arms wrapping securely around her, hands rubbing up and down her back soothingly. Y/N clung to him for dear life, the only part of her body she could control as she continued crying. 'It's all right. I've got you.'
They stayed like that for a few minutes before Y/N had no more tears to cry. When she finally pulled away, there was a dark patch of tears staining his white t-shirt that he wore under a plaid overskirt. 'Sorry about that.'
'Don't be. Ever,' he said, and Y/N had never seen him so serious before. 'Now, what's wrong?'
'Charles is closing down the school,' she said, voice dejected.
'What?' Alex looked up the stairs then back to Y/N, confusion and anger morphing his features. 'I'm gonna go talk to him.'
He made to run up the stairs and no doubt give Charles a piece of his mind, but Y/N quickly grasped his wrist and halted him. 'You can't,' Y/N said. 'He's already made his mind up.'
'Like hell he has,' Alex seethed, making to leave again but Y/N pulled him back.
'Alex,' she pleaded with him, 'believe me if I could change his mind I would be up there right now doing so. But... he has no hope anymore. The war has dwindled us thin. He doesn't see the good in the world anymore. That's not something we can give back to him. He has to find that again on his own.'
Alex looked ready to argue, jaw clenching as he looked between the stairs and Y/N. But Y/N slipped her hand into his and squeezed it gently and his features softened. He rubbed the back of his neck - as he always did - as he let out a defeated sigh. 'So I guess there isn't any point in informing him that I've been drafted for the war?'
Y/N's eyes bulged and her heart rate spiked with fear. 'You what?' she asked, but she'd heard him correctly.
His jaw clenched as if he didn't want to elaborate. 'Got the call this morning. I'm just surprised it's taken this long for them to find me again.'
That's right. Y/N sometimes forgot he had been in the army just before they met. 'When do you leave?' she asked.
'Two days from now,' he said regrettably.
Y/N never considered herself an emotional person, but tears welled up in her eyes again. 'It's just not fair,' she said, breathless as she tried to keep the tears back. 'You deserve to be free. You deserve to be happy, Alex.'
'Hey, hey,' he cooed, using both hands to cradle her head and neck, forcing her eyes to meet his. 'I'll come back. I promise. And who says I haven't been free and happy?'
He swallowed thickly as his eyes scanned over Y/N's face, hesitating on her lips before looking back at her eyes. Y/N felt then something change. In the air, between them, possibly both - she couldn't quite tell. But the way he was looking at her, how he held her so preciously, had her heart racing.
'The past five years here have been the most free and happy I've ever been,' Alex admitted. 'Training and teaching with Charles and Hank... and you. You have given me a home away from home, a new family. You've protected me when no one else would; you've laughed and cried and fought with me, for me...'
He leaned in closer now, as if there was a gravitational force pulling them together. 'I will come back, Y/N. To you.'
Alex Summers was a dick, but he was also a kind and loyal man. A man silently laying out his heart before her despite their previous disagreements.
'Promise?' she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
'Promise,' he said, and with that confirmation Y/N stood up on her toes to lock her lips with Alex's.
His hands cradled her face still as he held her to him, their lips melding harmoniously as they kissed. This had been building in Y/N since day one when he'd flashed her that smooth smile that sent her stomach into somersaults. Every fight (verbal or physical), every conversation, every drink they shared, every looked that passed between them, it had all been leading to this.
They finally pulled apart but pressed their foreheads together as they caught their breaths.
'I've been wanting to do that for a long time now,' Alex admitted, his words breathless.
'How long?' Y/N asked, curious.
'Since day one,' he answered, then let out a small chuckle. 'I didn't know it at the time, and when I finally did I never wanted to admit it. I think Charles and everyone else knew before I did.'
'It was the same for me,' Y/N assured him, and Alex smiled brightly before he pulled her in for another kiss.
The rest of the night was spent catching up on lost time. Y/N was thanking Charles that all teachers' rooms were at the other end of the mansion to the students' rooms. Y/N and Alex managed an hour of sleep before the rays of dawn warmed them awake.
'We probably shouldn't have done that,' Y/N said, tracing a finger along Alex's toned stomach.
'We were pretty quiet, I thought,' Alex said, stopping threading his fingers through Y/N's hair to press a kiss to the top of her head. 'Though, you did get a bit loud when I-'
'Shut up, asshole,' she said, giving him a slight shove that sent the both of them into a quiet giggling fit. Once they'd both calmed down, Y/N returned to tracing Alex's abs. 'I mean, we shouldn't have done that because you're leaving in two days.'
'Yeah, we certainly have great timing, huh?' Alex tried joking but when Y/N didn't laugh, he sat up in bed bringing her with him. 'Hey, I told you I will come back. Nothing's going to stop that.'
'You can't assure me that,' Y/N countered.
'What was that whole thing about having hope?' Alex questioned, and when Y/N couldn't find an answer. 'I believe in us, Y/N. I have hope. You taught me that. I will come back. I promise.'
Y/N still had her doubts but she allowed herself to play into the fantasy that it would all end up okay, and she leaned in for another mind-melting kiss.
'Okay, Alex,' she conceded. 'But just know you're still an asshole.'
'And you're still a princess. But you're my princess.'
As the two got ready for the day, Alex asked, 'So what are you going to do? When the school closes down.'
Y/N had been thinking about it since Charles told her and hadn't been sure if it was the right thing to do, but she had to try. 'I heard that Raven has broken off from Erik and is going about their cause on her own. I'm going to go find her and bring her home.'
'That's going to be dangerous,' Alex said, his tone worried.
'And going to war isn't?" she countered. 'Raven is like my sister. I've got to help her. There is good in her, she's just angry at the world. You're right. I have to keep hoping, even if everyone else has lost it. Because we are worth it.'
She walked up to Alex to cradle his face as he had done so many times the night just gone. 'We are worth it,' she whispered.
Alex placed a hand of his own over hers, pressing it closer to his face which had only gotten more handsome over the years. 'You're amazing, you know that right?'
Y/N just smiled before bringing him in for another kiss. When they broke apart she took a moment to contemplate his face then laughed.
'What is it?' he asked, an amused smile on his lips.
'We're just two idiots, aren't we?' she said, her tone bordering on sad. 'All that time wasted on arguing. All seems stupid now in the face of danger and death.'
'I disagree,' Alex said as he took her hand and headed for the bedroom door. 'I wouldn't change that time for the world. I am who I am because of that time, and you were always so cute when you were mad.'
'Hey!'
1973 - X Mansion
Y/N breathed a sigh of contentment as she stood out the front of the mansion, all tidied up and ready to reopen.
'I forgot what it used to look like without the overgrown weeds and dusty windows,' Charles admitted as he looked over the entrance too.
'Now whose fault would that be?' Hank asked with a smug smirk on his lips, but it quickly dropped with Charles' side eye.
Y/N smiled at the familiar banter. It had been a long six years full of struggle and pain and loss since Charles officially closed the school. But a man called Logan from the future had convinced Charles of something Y/N had been unable to, and while Y/N hadn't be able to bring Raven home, she'd been able to help their future and bring Charles back to life.
It had taken a few weeks to clean the mansion up with just the three of them. They had no one else to ask. Logan was missing, Raven too. Erik had gone into hiding, and Sean and Angel and most other mutants had been subjected to and killed by Trask's cruel Sentinel trials. None of them had a chance to say goodbye, and that very thought haunted Y/N even now.
And Alex... Last time Y/N checked, Raven had freed him and other mutants in the army who'd been locked up from the rest of the soldiers for some reason. No doubt for experiments. Y/N had been on base that day, but she'd gone to another bunker with other mutants. Her and Raven had stayed behind after that; Y/N never got even a glimpse of him, but Raven said he was okay and that he missed her.
'That doesn't matter now,' Y/N said. 'What matters is we're doing what we were meant to be doing all along. Speaking of which...' Y/N turned to the two men kind of sheepishly. '...I actually can't start teaching again just yet. I have to go.'
'What?' Hank asked. 'Why? We need you here.'
'I know, and I have every intention of coming back,' Y/N hastily reassured. 'I just... I need to go find someone.'
'Who?' Hank asked, but Charles was looking at her knowingly.
'It's Alex, isn't it,' he asked, but it wasn't really a question. Besides, he'd probably read her mind.
Y/N nodded. 'He used to call me from base every two weeks, send letters once a month. But then the calls stopped coming about a year ago, and so did the letters. I didn't even know if he was alive until Raven and I went to his air base. But I didn't see him, and now I need to find him to see if he did make it home after all.'
Charles looked at her and he smiled, the action caught somewhere between pride and sadness. 'You really love him, don't you?' he asked softly.
Y/N found the same smile stretching across her lips as she nodded. 'Very much so.'
Charles chuckled softly as he looked away, then somewhere over her shoulder. 'Very well then, off you go. But... something tells you'll find him closer to home than you think.'
Confused, Y/N turned to follow where he was looking over her shoulder and saw a black Cadillac pulling into the driveway. It wasn't until the driver pulled up in front of the building and stepped out that Y/N realised what Charles meant.
Alex Summers stood facing her from the driver's door, smiling smoothly at her as he pulled off his aviators. 'Hey, princess,' he said, his tone somewhere between his usual swagger and pure relief.
Y/N flew down the front steps and over to him. He held his arms out expecting a hug, but all Y/N saw was red as she lined up to slap him square across his face. The sound was crisp and cut through the air, silencing even the birds.
Alex was stunned as he turned back to her confused. 'What the heck was that for?'
'How long have you been home' Y/N asked, ignoring him.
'Um, like, a month? I don't really know-'
'And you didn't call me? Let me know you were okay?'
'I was kind of busy consoling my family since I've been gone for like six years,' he argued, rubbing his cheek. 'And you seemed to be busy too. You know, saving the world and all.'
Y/N couldn't argue with that, but she still wanted to be mad at him. He had her all worried for nothing. 'You still could've called me.'
'I'm here now, aren't I?' He reached a hand out to clasp hers and she allowed him to puller her closer with it. 'Trust me, there wasn't a day that I didn't think of you, wishing I was back here with you. I'm sorry if I made you worry.'
His genuine tone softened her anger until it was nothing but relief and joy at seeing him. She pressed her forehead against his own and smiled. 'Like you said: you're here now, right?'
With that, the two connected in a long awaited kiss that reflected all their longing and love for one another. They were so enthralled with one another that they didn't hear a word of Charles' and Hank's conversation happening just a few steps away.
'Wow,' Hank said, trying not look at his long-time friends making out in front of him. 'Alex and Y/N. Not going to lie, did not see that coming.'
'Oh, I did,' Charles said smugly, though his eyes reflected the happiness he had for his close friends. 'From the moment they met, I knew they were inevitable. You didn't need to be a psychic to see that coming.'
1978 - Alex and Y/N's house
Y/N sighed as she unlocked the front door to her and Alex's house. They'd moved in together about a year ago, hating constantly going between the school and Alex's old apartment. He hadn't returned as a teacher to the school after the army as she had, and so found a place of his own. But one night they'd both realised they didn't want to keep figuring out whose place they would spend the night at. They wanted a place for themselves, and the rest was history.
Y/N kicked off her sneakers, grateful for the relief she felt as she walked into the lounge room where her feet sunk into the carpet. Alex seemed to have had an early mark from his office with the U.S. Military, as he was in the kitchen cooking. His soldier days were thankfully over, but he'd been promoted to a desk job which didn't really suit him but it paid well and he could actually try and make a difference from there. For both humans and mutants enlisted into the army.
'Hey, princess,' he said, stirring up some sauce that had Y/N almost drooling for.
'Hey, baby,' she said tiredly as she came up behind him and cuddled him, breathing out a content sigh as she attempted to meld into his back.
'Wow,' he said with a chuckle, 'no asshole today? You've definitely had a bad day.'
'Don't push it,' Y/N warned, but it was an empty threat as she didn't move a muscle. Alex was always so warm, and now that it was winter she craved his presence even more. 'You didn't have to make dinner.'
'I know,' he said nonchalantly, continuing to stir the delicious smelling sauce. 'But I figured if you weren't home by five, you'd had a hard day.'
'Aw,' Y/N cooed, squeezing his torso slightly tighter. 'Alex Summers, you can be so thoughtful, you know that?'
'Besides,' he said, finally putting the sauce bowl down and turning in Y/N's arms to face her, a cheeky smile on his lips, 'you take forever to cook and I want to eat at some point tonight.'
Y/N's smile dropped. 'I take it back. You are a jerk.'
'That's nothing new,' he said as he pulled her in for a loving kiss. Y/N really enjoyed their more fervent kisses - the ones that left her breathless and hungry for more because she just couldn't get enough of him. But this - the gentleness, the care, the love transferred between their lips - calmed and grounded her. Reminded her she was at the best place in the world: home.
'Why don't you go have a shower, relax, and I'll have dinner ready by the time you come out?' Alex asked after they ended their kiss, rubbing his hands up and down her arms in comfort.
Y/N shook her head. 'While that does sound like a wonderful time, I'd rather help you cook the rest of dinner.'
'You sure? It's nothing special or hard. I can handle it-'
'Alex,' she interrupted, heading for the drawer with all their aprons, 'I have spent all day at a desk or in a classroom looking at paperwork and marking grades. I want to help. I want to spend time with you. It's treat enough that you're home before the sun sets.'
She tied her apron up, rolled up the sleeves of her dress shirt and reached into the pantry 'Now, let's get this pasta cooking.'
The rest of the night was relaxed, with Alex and Y/N chatting about anything and everything while they cooked. They continued chatting during dinner, and Y/N laughed at Alex spilling red pasta sauce all over his cream shirt. Before they knew it, bed time had fallen upon them.
Y/N was just brushing her teeth as she was explaining how her day was going to go tomorrow. 'Now remember, I'm going on an excursion with the kids tomorrow to the national history museum so I won't be home until six, I think.'
When Alex didn't answer, Y/N asked, 'Alex? Did you hear me?' He didn't answer again, and so Y/N spit out the toothpaste and hurried back into their bedroom.
'Alex? Why aren't you-'
Y/N's heart almost stopped as she was met with Alex Summers on one knee, holding a delicate but beautiful ring up to Y/N.
'Believe me when I say I had a different plan in mind for this,' he said, eyes hopeful and the twitches of a fearful smile pulling at his lips. 'I had it all planned out and was going to do it when we go on our trip next month. But those places don't mean anything to us: here does. In our home.'
To Y/N's surprise, Alex's eyes welled up with tears as he continued his speech. 'Tonight was perfect, and I realised... that I want to have a night like tonight every night. You are too good for me, Y/N. I can be a jerk and an asshole and self-centred and rash - but you take it all in stride and put me in my place and I thank you for that.
'I love you, Y/N. And I want to love you - fight with and for you, explore with you, live with you - for the rest of my life. So, Y/N L/N... will you marry me?'
Alex never cried, so seeing him get emotional opened the floodgates in Y/N's own tear ducts. Y/N clasped her mouth as both sobs and joyous laughter escaped her, leaving her a blubbering mess.
Y/N wiped away her tears and flashed Alex the most loving smile she could manage. 'What do you think? Of course I will marry you, Alex Summers.'
Alex breathed a sigh of relief and his tears of joy finally fell as he stood up and embraced Y/N. Y/N couldn't hold him any tighter it seemed, couldn't pull him close enough even when there was no space left to close between them. But finally they parted and Alex slipped the delicate ring onto Y/N's finger. It shimmered in the low lamp light coming from their bedside and Y/N couldn't imagine anything more fitting.
'It's beautiful, Alex,' Y/N said, still sniffling.
'Anything for my princess,' he muttered into her hair as he held her close.
Y/N laughed into his chest before craning her neck back to look up at him. 'You're locked in now, asshole. No take-backsies.'
Alex laughed. 'Don't you know?' he asked, leaning down to capture her lips in another loving kiss. '...I was always in it for the long run,' he said after breaking away, warm breath fanning across Y/N's cool skin.
1983 - X Mansion
Y/N was just leaving her classroom when four students came flying by.
'Hey!' Y/N called out, and the four students stopped.
'Sorry, Mrs. Summers,' Jubilee said, a bashful expression on her face.
Y/N eyed who else was with Jubilee. Jean Grey, and the two new students: Kurt Wagner and her brother-in-law Scott Summers.
Y/N placed her free hand on her hips as she looked at them skeptically. 'And where are the four of you off to in such a hurry at this time of day?' she asked, noting how it was the middle of the day.
'Uh...' Jean started, looking unsure.
'We were just off to the library,' Scott interjected, his voice confident and full of bravado. 'To study.'
Y/N narrowed her eyes on Scott. Scott was not the studious kind, and usually she could read Scott like a book. But since his mutation kicked in and he'd had to wear the ruby quartz glasses, it was hard to tell what he was truly thinking.
'That's right!' Kurt added over-enthusiastically, and the others nodded in agreement.
Based on their adamant responses, Y/N knew something was up. But she released a sigh and waved them off. 'Okay, but don't study too hard then.'
'Yes, Mrs. Summers,' Jean and Jubilee said together, then grabbed Kurt and headed around the corner and out of sight.
Scott was just about to do the same when Y/N called out to him. 'Hey, Scott.' He stopped and turned, his lips pulled down in a frown, possibly worried that he'd been caught out. But she just smiled and said, 'It's nice to see you've made some friends already.'
Relief and genuine appreciation split his lips into a smile. 'Yeah. Me too,' he said, then he took off after the others, their laughter bouncing off the walls of the old mansion.
It genuinely made Y/N happy to see Scott making friends. He was usually the reserved type, making small rebellions but certainly not as loud as his older brother. He used to be the kid that got picked on at school, so to see him actively engaging with other kids was promising.
It was the changing period between classes and so all the students were milling about the halls as Y/N made her way down the steps to the front foyer. She had a free period so she was in no hurry.
What she didn't expect to see, once the children had cleared, was Hank and Raven of all people standing together in the foyer.
'Raven?' Y/N said in disbelief, a baffled smile adorning her lips.
Raven and Hank seemed to have been engaged in a serious discussion, but she returned Y/N's smile and opened her arms for an embrace. 'Hey, Y/N.'
Y/N accepted the offer and embraced her long-time friend tightly. 'Oh, it is so good to see you, Raven. It has been too long.'
'Yeah, since seventy-three I believe.' The two women pulled apart but held hands. Raven ran her fingers over Y/N's hands and her fqace changed to shock and happy surprise. 'Oh my God, you got married?!' she exclaimed, bringing Y/N's left hand up to inspect the delicate diamond.
'Yeah. Alex and I just celebrated five years,' Y/N said, her words taking on a sad tone.
'Five years...' Raven dropped Y/N's hand, a sad expression on her face. It was then Y/N recognised that Raven was in the skin she'd worn for years to fit in with society, not her natural blue. There was slight betrayal and hurt on Raven's face too.
'We tried finding you, Raven,' Y/N said, grasping tight to her friend's hands. 'I wanted you there. Truly. You just... Well, since D.C. I imagine you've been busy.'
Raven's betrayal morphed into shame. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I would've loved to have been there. For you.'
Y/N knew she meant it, and so she flashed Raven a smile and said, 'It doesn't matter now, though. You're here now, and it is so good to see you. Speaking of which, why are you here?'
'I came to speak with Charles about Erik,' Raven admitted, the two women finally releasing each other's hands. 'I think he's in some trouble.'
'I was just telling her Charles and Alex were out,' Hank added.
'Well, they should be back in the next hour, I think,' Y/N said. 'Why don't we wait in Charles' office until then.'
As they all waited, Y/N and Raven decided to catch up. They discussed everything from the school to Raven's personal missions as a vigilante for mutants to Y/N and Alex's marriage.
'I must admit, I always knew you two would end up together,' Raven commented, a knowing and cheeky smile on her face.
'No you didn't,' Y/N argued. 'Did you even know Alex and I back then? We fought like cats and dogs!'
'Still do, depending on the day,' Hank muttered as he drank his tea.
Y/N flashed him a hard glare before turning back to Raven.
'Oh come on, it was practically inevitable you two would end up together,' Raven countered, laughter dancing on her words. 'But I'm happy to hear you two are happy. You're some of my oldest friends and you deserve happiness.'
'Thank you, Raven,' Y/N said softly.
'So, how many do you have?'
Y/N raised an eyebrow in confusion. 'How many what?'
'Kids. I can only assume you've got an army waiting for you at home...' Raven quietened as she noticed Y/N's demeanour change. Her smile dropped and she sunk back into the couch more. 'Did I say something wrong?'
Y/N shook her head and tried smiling for her friend, but tears welled in her eyes. 'No, you didn't. It's just... Alex and I found out we can't have children about a month ago.'
'Oh, Y/N.' Raven didn't know what to say or do. She just reached a hand out was a grateful that Y/N took it for support.
'We've been trying since we got married,' Y/N explained, wiping the tears away before they even fell. 'When nothing was happening, we decided to go see a specialist. But I guess even being a mutant doesn't make us immune to human genetic failure.'
She gestured to the closed doors that led from Charles' office to the school beyond 'Besides,' Y/N continued fondly, 'I have hundreds of kids already to deal with,. Children of my own would just complicate that probably.'
Raven just hummed in agreement, but said nothing more. No doubt she could sense or even see Y/N only meant half of what she said. Y/N truly loved each and every kid at the school, but it broke her heart to know she'd never have a daughter or son that had her eyes or Alex's smile, her wit or Alex's bravery.
Before they could dwell on the sad matter any further, the doors to the office opened and in came Charles, Alex, and someone Y/N thought she'd never see ever again.
'Moira?' Raven said as the three entered the room, standing to her feet in shock.
'Raven?' Charles asked.
'I'm sorry, have we met before?" Moira asked, cluelessly smiling at Raven, then Y/N and Hank.
Soon enough, Raven and Charles needed to converse privately and so Y/N, Alex, Hank, and Moira stood in the foyer awaiting their decision. Hank took one for the team and took Moira for a bit of a tour around the school while Y/N and Alex stayed in the foyer to talk.
'Never thought I'd see you step inside these halls during school hours again,' Y/N said cheekily.
'My brother and Charles are the exceptions,' he said, and when Y/N pouted he added quickly, 'and of course my beautiful wife.'
'Hmmm, sure asshole,' she said, before allowing him to kiss her briefly.
'You know you can be so mean sometimes,' he said as he pulled away.
'That's why you love me though, right?' she asked.
'Hmmm, sure princess,' he mirrored her earlier comment, earning a light slap to his shoulder as they devolved into laughter.
'So, how's Scott doing?' Alex asked, genuinely concerned for his little brother.
'Don't worry,' Y/N reassured him. 'He's fitting in just fine. Although he said he was going to study just before...'
'Oh, he's definitely doing something he shouldn't be then,' Alex said.
After a moment of silence, Y/N said, 'I was talking to Raven just before... about us not being able to have children.'
The topic always made Alex more protective, and so he placed his hands on her arms and started gently rubbing them up and down slowly. 'You okay?'
'Yeah I'm fine, but it did get me thinking... why don't we look at adopting?'
Alex looked halfway between shocked and happy when she said it. 'Are you sure?'
Y/N nodded. 'Why not? There are so many kids in this world that have no homes, no families. We could be that for them.'
Alex smiled brighter than he ever had as he embraced her so hard he lifted her off her feet with joy. 'I love you,' he said as he finally put her down, then looked at her as if she was the light of his life. 'We're gonna have a family.'
Y/N nodded then pulled him into a short kiss, just as Hank and Moira finally came back to the foyer and Charles' office doors opened. 'Y/N and Hank, you are dismissed from classes for the rest of the afternoon,' he said. 'We have to find Erik.'
~~~
It all happened so fast.
Someone hijacked Cerebro and controlled Charles momentarily, taking over the world for just a split second. Raven, Hank, and Y/N were finally able to wrench Charles free of the power and then Charles commanded Alex to destroy Cerebro.
The incident left the whole group, except for Moira, panting and drained as they exited the flaming room. Charles was unconscious in his chair, giving no signs that he was okay.
Y/N sensed a change in the area's energy force, and looked down the hallway to where a portal was opening. 'Uh, guys...'
The rest of the group followed her gaze to where five figures stepped out of the portal, one notably being an old friend.
'Erik,' Raven said softly, realisation dawning on her face too late. He was not here to be friendly.
Before anyone could react, Erik reached out to Charles' chair and brought him in to their portal which was firing up again.
'Charles!' Raven called out.
The winged figure protected Charles as the others stepped in front of him as barriers. Not that any of Y/N's group chased after them - wait, one person did.
'Alex, no!' Y/N said as her husband ran past her. When he didn't listen, she chased after him.
'Alex!' Hank called out behind them.
'Hey, asshole!' Alex called out to the blue man standing out the front of Erik's group.
The portal reopened around Erik, Charles and the other figures, the blue man stepping out in front to say, 'All will be revealed my child.' His voice was haunting, echoing all around them in a way that emanated power. He was not a standard level mutant.
But Alex still ran, and Y/n sensed he was charging up to fight.
'Alex, don't!' Y/N was almost there, could reach him in another few steps.
'Wait!' Hank called out, but Alex was lining up, red plasma already bursting from his chest. 'Stop!'
Y/N finally realised Hank's fear. While she was trying to stop Alex from chasing after mutant much stronger than all in the room, Hank was more concerned as to what was just beyond the doors Erik and Charles stood before.
Y/N's fingers just grazed Alex's shoulder when he let out a powerful plasma blast. But Erik and Charles disappeared into the portal before the blast could reach them, instead allowing it to burn through the metal doors that lead into the jet hangar.
Y/N pulled Alex behind her as the explosion happened. She threw up her hands and conjured a force field that surrounded the entire hangar just as the fire was about to reach her face. The strain was immediate as well as the heat, and Y/N almost crumbled as the explosion bounced and rolled around in the bubble.
'Y/N!' Raven called out, and Y/N felt hands on her arm and shoulder as Alex came into view.
'Baby?' he asked, eyes apologetic and frightened.
'I'm okay,' Y/N managed out, breathing deeply as the strain increased. 'Get everyone out. Now.'
'We can't just leave you here,' Hank argued.
'We won't,' Alex answered. 'I'll stay with her. Let me know when everyone is out.' When Raven and Hank didn't move, Alex said, 'Go!'
Once they'd gone, Y/N said, albeit with a strain, 'You should go, too.'
'I'm not leaving you,' he said, the weight of his hand on her back ever present. 'Hank and Raven can get the kids out themselves.'
'I'm not just talking about the kids.' Y/N managed to tear her gaze from the swirling explosion just beyond her force field to look Alex in the eyes. 'Go find Scott. Make sure he's okay.'
'I trust Hank and Raven,' Alex said.
Y/N's hands shook and so she turned her attention back to the force field. 'Alex, I don't know how much longer I can hold this. And I'd rather you not be here in case-'
'Don't say that.' Alex moved more into her vision so she didn't have to break her concentration. 'I put you in this mess, I will see you through it. You're the toughest person I know, Y/N. If anyone can hold this, it's you.'
Y/N saw on his face he truly meant it, but her hands shook harder now and the fire was pushing against the field more. Y/N swallowed a groan because as much as she didn't agree with Alex, she had to try.
Every second counted.
But every second was torture.
In reality, it was only five minutes before Hank notified Alex that the school had been cleared. But Y/N's vision was starting to spot black and her entire body now shook. Sweat rolled down her face and exhausted tears threatened to spill over.
Alex's phone buzzed and he answered the incoming call. 'The kids are all out,' Hank said, his crackling due to the horrible service of the lower levels. 'We're coming back for you.'
'Don't!' Y/N strangled out, groaning as the strain increased. She was aware of Alex's gaze on her so she turned slightly to look him in the eyes and saw something that she didn't want to see.
Hank kept talking. 'What? No, we're coming back down-'
'It's okay, Hank,' Alex said calmly, his eyes never leaving Y/N. 'Just... keep them safe.'
'Alex, wait what-'
Alex ended the call and Y/N could've screamed with frustration. 'No,' she whispered. 'You're not staying with me.'
'You never planned on getting out of this alive,' Alex stated. 'Did you?'
'I've made my peace,' Y/N explained. 'You need to be here for Scott.'
'You are my wife, Y/N!'
'And he is your brother!' Tears finally spilled as her powers began to wain. 'He is young and scared and he needs his brother so please Alex, go!'
Pain and indecision whirled in Alex's eyes as he looked from her to the doors that would save his life. Y/N couldn't hold on much longer, but she'd make sure he would get out. Tears spilled down his gorgeous face. Even after all this time he still looked as he had when him and Y/N first met, apart from the hair of course.
Resolve and love and apology was on his face as he finally looked back to Y/N, and he said, 'Scott will understand.'
He was really doing this. He was really going to die with her.
'I can't protect us once I let this field down,' she strangled to say, tears and pain and regret threatening to overwhelm her. 'I have nothing left, Alex.'
'You've done enough,' he said gently, then manouvered himself to stand between her arms so he was face to face with her. He cradled her face in his hands then pulled his lips to hers for one final kiss. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered, tears streaming down his face.
'I'm not,' Y/N replied, and despite their situation she smiled as brightly as she could. 'We had a pretty good run, didn't we?'
That finally brought a smile to his face. 'We sure did, princess.' He looked into her eyes, his gaze unwavering and the way he held her was heavenly. 'I love you.'
'I love you,' Y/N answered, then her energy emptied completely and she fell into Alex's arms.
They held each other as fire engulfed them and the mansion exploded, unable to be torn from each other even at Death's door.
1983 - X Mansion, post Apocalypse Battle
Scott Summers stood before two headstones with X's on them that had been put up in the school's courtyard. Both had his last name.
Alex Summers
Havok
1941-1983
Husband, Brother, Friend, Hero
Y/N Summers (neé L/N)
Aura
1942-1983
Wife, Teacher, Friend, Hero
Scott took his glasses off to wipe his tears. He hadn't been able to fully process his loss thanks to Apocalypse, but now that the school was rebuilt and he was back at school, he was more than aware of Alex and Y/N's absence.
He felt a hand slip into his, and he put his glasses back on to find Jean smiling sadly at him. 'I'm so sorry, Scott,' she said, and he didn't need to be a mind reader to know she truly meant it. 'I never met your brother, but Aura - Y/N, spoke often of him and their heroics at our age. He sounded amazing.'
'He was,' Scott said, looking back to his brother's and sister-in-law's graves. 'He was my hero.'
'They both were heroes.'
The two teens turned to find Hank, Raven, and Charles - now bald from the battle - strolling and wheeling into the courtyard respectively. Charles didn't speak again until the three of them reached the teenagers. 'Even as children, I knew they would be heroes. And in a society where mutants weren't trusted, even feared... They saw the best in the world. Always.'
'They gave everything they could to this school,' Hank added, eyes watering behind his glasses as he looked over his friends' graves. 'They were some of the best people I know, even now.' Hank allowed a tear to fall but he laughed. 'Even if your brother was a bit of a dick, sometimes.'
'Only sometimes?' Scott said, and the group laughed and the weight of grief on Scott's shoulders lifted slightly.
When it grew silent once more, Jean said, 'But is this to be our fate? Where we fight for a world that doesn't want us? Is a premature death only inevitable?'
'Death is always inevitable, Jean,' Raven said gently, and walked up to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 'But if Alex and Y/N proved anything to us all is that it doesn't matter what time we have on this earth; it's what we make of it. While we can, we will fight for a better future. For all of us.'
Jean nodded then turned back to the graves along with everyone else. Resentment and pain and loss roiled within Scott as he looked down at where his brother and sister-in-law rested. 'I wished he hadn't died,' he admitted, because that's all he truly wanted.
'Me too, Scott,' Charles said, wheeling up beside him. 'He loved you very much, though. Always spoke about you - about how you were to do great things with your life. I truly believe that, you know.'
'At least he died doing what he loved,' Scott said as he gestured to the rebuilt school. 'Protecting mutant kind.'
The group was silent for another few minutes, just reflecting on their times with the two people in the ground. Then Hank ushered the two teens back to class, and after sometime Raven left to go teach also.
Charles remained for a while longer, unable to leave his friends that he'd buried, that he'd gotten killed. Some small part of him wished he'd never sought them out to join the X-Men. They could've lived quieter lives, safer lives. But we wouldn't have been happy, Charles could practically hear Y/N say with that hopeful smile of hers, and Charles smiled at the thought.
And besides, if he hadn't recruited the two, Alex and Y/N wouldn't have met. And wouldn't that have been a true disservice to his students to never have witnessed such hope and love.
Or maybe they would have. After all, like he'd said, they'd been inevitable from the start.
And maybe Jean was right; possibly, a mutant's life was to inevitably end prematurely. But Raven was also right.
Charles touched Alex's headstone, then Y/N's, tears pouring down his face. 'Thank you, friends,' he whispered tearfully. 'Rest well. You've earned it.'
As the years went on, and the school took on more students and the gardens grew higher and wilder, Charles sought to personally keep his friends' graves clean and tidy. He told each student the tales of his fallen friends, the ones he was unable to bury as well. He made sure that the First Class of X-Men were not forgotten, and that their dream of a better future lived on in the next generation.
Sometimes, as he grew older, Charles saw a little bit of Alex and Y/N when he saw Scott and Jean. It broke his heart to know that Alex would never see his little brother become an excellent hero such as Alex, or that Alex and Y/N wouldn't grow old alongside him and Hank and Raven.
But their spirit lived on anyway, and maybe that was the inevitability of it all in the end.
#romance#friends to lovers#angst#slowburn#rivals to lovers#xmen first class imagines#xmen x reader#xmen imagines#x men#alex summers#alex summers x reader#alex summers imagines#lucas till#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#raven darkholme#mystique#banshee#sean cassidy#hank mccoy#beast#xmen first class#xmen days of future past#xmen apocalypse#logan howlett#wolverine#angel salvadore#Darwin
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typing this laying in bed forcing myself to sleep but my brain wants to write so headcanon format it is.
thinking about ak!jason who has no idea that after his âdeathâ that you went insane looking for him. but you were no detective, you werenât in the police field, you were just jason toddâs girlfriend.
but you damn well did everything you could, from begging bruce, to sneaking into offices, looking for nightwing, anything.
you taught yourself to use a gun to search places alone. jason would scold you for doing such a thing for him but you didnât care, not when you knew he was alive.
you didnât know.. but your gut feeling told you he was. a body was never found, nothing. you refused to believe it.
âyou didnât find anything? no pieces of his suit? no blood? nothing!?â you screamed and cried at batman, desperate, grieving.
âiâve looked-â
âno! you didnât! because if you did look everywhere you wouldâve found something! all this technology and you still couldnât track the location?â
âitâs not that simple.â
âright, because you arenât the greatest detective in the worldâ
you tried to distract yourself with work but it was no use, not when you came home opening the spare bedroom door to your mess of a room. papers everywhere, maps, pictures, you wouldâve seemed insane to any normal person.
you were exhausted, too many dreams of him in front of you but thatâs all it was. dreams.
one night, you felt someone push your hair behind your ear. instantly, like jason taught you, you grabbed the knife under your pillow and went to slash at the intruder but the knife made a thud as it hit the floor.
a hand, gently, wraps around your wrist.
you blink your eyes awake, taking in the person in your home.
jason.
no. itâs another dream.
âyouâve gotta be quicker than that, sweetheart.â
you donât speak, still taking in whatâs going on. the light from the moon just barley shows his face.
âhey donât cry baby, itâs okay.â
you back away, unable to take another hallucination.
âno.. this isnât real. you canât be here. i havenât found you yet.â
âiâm right here, baby.â
shaking your head, you back into the corner of your bed, making yourself as small as you can.
âno, i have to find him. i have to find jason!â
âlook at me, sweet girl.â
you canât tear your face from your arms, so he softly pulls your face up with both hands, wiping your tears,
âiâm right here. iâm not going anywhere ever again.â
the closer he is, the more you notice the difference in his features.
the j on his face, the scars, but his eyes,
his sweet beautiful eyes still look at you with love.
âiâm so sorry.â you give in, real or not, you hug him.
he hates it, after everything heâs been through he canât take the affection. but for you? for you heâd do anything.
so he lets you cry into him, squeezing him tight, even if he canât be the jason you loved, he holds you all the same.
sobbing into his chest, âi tried so hard to find youâ
âi know you did sweetheart, i saw the room. but it wasnât your job to find me.â
âdonât say that, youâre the love of my life. i would rather die than stop looking.â
âyou did good.â
âi didnât. you still had to find me.â
âiâd climb out of my grave and crawl back home to you, iâll always find you.â
âplease donât let this be a dream.â
âiâm right here.â
he holds you until the sun rises, rocking back and forth slightly. heâll tell you about it all later, for now, he just wants you close.
edit: i will be making this into a fic later ;p
#á° honeywrites#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#arkham knight#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight x you
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âïžMild arcane spoilers âïž
Miiight ruffle some feathers.
Not EVEN going to lie, unnecessary ship wars aside, the fan base has developed such a deep love and understanding for these characters (because letâs be honest, there are some pretty intelligent people giving eye opening analyses) that after the finale, it appears that we have a better understanding of them than the actual writers.
We deserved better as the audience after all the hype over the years, all the waiting, even after some episodes got leaked a while ago, most of us remained respectful and waited to see what this season would bring us. The core characters ABSOLUTELY deserved better as well.
It felt as if I was watching all of the charactersâ development be erased in real time, or become sidelined and nearly mute after being propped up to appear as if they were going to have a significant arc.
With the amount of episodes we had, it felt like they were trying to cram a bunch of different storylines into one 9 episode season and that left us with annoying plot holes and rushed sequences.
And Iâm just gonna say it.
If a certain relationship needed to be sacrificed if it meant that other characters had the proper development they needed and DESERVED, then I would have preferred that much, MUCH more than that undercooked finale.
Donât. Even. Get me started on that caitvi scene. In the cell? Right after that conversation she had with her sister? Donât give me that nonsense about how itâs vi reclaiming her power or something. (An actual weird ass statement from Amanda Overton in a Q&A video about how that was Vi reclaiming and working through her trauma in that cell).
No apology? No groveling for forgiveness? That little argument they had lasted like five seconds and didnât even address the earlier conflict that happened in the show after cait left vi. And before any of you say âcait apologized with her actionsâ
I donât care. Two things can be true at once, she can and should have apologized directly as well as displayed that with her actions.
Moving on to Mel??? We did not nearly have enough time to explore her new abilities as a mage, her armor, and her connection to the black rose. As I said, the storylines this season should have been more refined so we could focus on a central group of characters. They did nothing but hint at her armor from the end of season 1 all the way up until now.
Also maybe Iâm hallucinating, but did we ever find out what happened to the firelightâs tree?? Thatâs one of the main reasons Ekko and Heimerdinger went to the lab isnât it? HELLO?
Next on my list, Jinx. This girl has suffered to no end.
- Lost her whole family except for Vi.
- Almost died once and was brought back to life.
- Tried to end her life several more times
And you slap us all in the face by writing her off?
âOh but she may not be GONE gone, look at the glitching at the end!"
I. Donât. Care. Itâs the principle.
Iâm sick and tired of seeing characters that struggle with mental health and keep having one bad event after another happen to them, never receiving a proper ending. What messages are the writers sending with this? That death is basically the answer because thereâs no hope for them? Cool. That was not an honorable act of self sacrifice, that was plain insulting.
Instead, if they still really wanted to have a Jinx redemption arc and a chance to rekindle her relationship with Vi, having her tap into engineering for the betterment of Zaun would have been the better route.
We should have gotten an extra extended episode since this is last season for the Piltover/Zaun region, and for Jinx and Vi's story. I really want to blame Riot for being greedy and possibly becoming too cocky with the popularity of Arcane that they think anything would suffice because It's Arcane.
#riot got greedy#arcane#league of legends#arcane league of legends#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#arcane Mel#arcane jayce#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#vander arcane#Warwick#vi and caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#hextech#timebomb#arcane silco#young silco#arcane season 2#riot games#fortiche#arcane spoilers#arcane zaun#piltover#arcane act 3#arcane act three#arcane sevika
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i propose a redo of race to the edge, but this time with a mature rating. imagine:
(spoilers for rtte)
actually being able to see characters deaths and wounds
more depth into snotlout and spitelouts relationship- itâs clearly not a healthy one
more depth into hiccstrid and other couples
specifically, queer couples and characters- we know gobber and snotlout are gay/bi respectively, but we never get more info on that subject
actual blood and wounds
let!!! them!!! say!!!!! fuck!!!!!
more clarification on which dragon fire hurts which dragons, and which ones donât
blood!!
ruff and tuff clearly have things to say that are not age appropriate, let them say it
could go more in depth with the scarier side of the dragons
show the effects of characters getting wounded!!!!
just. everything about dagur.
could go more in depth with fishlegsâs anxiety?
on that note, all of the gangâs mental health- hiccup clearly overworks and blames himself for everything, astrid has obvious anger issues and pent up rage, snotlout pretends to think heâs better than everyone else to mask his cripplingly low self esteem, fishlegs 100% has anxiety or some kind of panic disorder, ruff is already canonically frustrated with being âa woman in a manâs worldâ and doesnât feel appreciated enough, and tuff doesnât seem to value his own well being very much- not to mention that he literally has hallucinations sometimes
and dagur definitely has something that causes him to be in a constant state of mania
gustav and his parents- he said his mother only notices heâs gone after the third day????
at least one person on berk has (consensually) fucked a dragon. give me some background on that.
at least half of the riders cursing like sailors
being able to show sicknesses better- the time astrid caught the scourge of odin, the time astrid got deathly poisoned, plus the time astrid went blind (astrid sure does get beat up a lot damn)
just give me all the things we couldnât have as kids!!!! blood!!! gore!!!!!!! death!!!!!!! cursing!!!!!! gays!!!!!!!!! abusive relationships!!!!!!!!! kissing that doesnât look awkward and forced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! monster fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is all, thank you for your time
#how to train your dragon#httyd rtte#race to the edge#rtte#httyd#ruffnut and tuffnut#ruffnut thorston#tuffnut thorston#httyd ruffnut#httyd tuffnut#hiccup haddock#httyd hiccup#hiccstrid#hiccup how to train your dragon#hiccup and toothless#astrid hofferson#httyd astrid#httyd snotlout#snotlout jorgenson#snotlout snotlout oi oi oi#fishlegs ingerman#httyd fishlegs#rtte dagur#httyd dagur#dagur the deranged
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â â â â â â â â â â àłâàż Blue Injuriesâ Â Ë
masterlist à«ź àŸàœČ â â á navigation
JINX is definitely the type to get hurt on purpose, not badly to the point of death. but visible injured and makes you care for her.
âJinx?! what the hell..? itâs the middle of the damn night..â
sheâll open your unlocked window, reserved for her, and fling her already injured body into the window and hit a loud and hard thud on the floor, causing you to wake up.
ârelax toots, just a few minor injuries. nothing serious.â
she knows how much you hate when she uses the staple gun. she enjoys the lectures because itâs you but she doesnât want to be scolded again.
you caved in and sigh tiredly, you tell her to stay put and leave the room and went into the bathroom to grab the medical supplies.
JINX loves your room, she seen it multiple times and still acts like sheâs brand new to the area. the room is a mixed of you and her, 75% of you and 25% of her. your decorations and somewhat aesthetic and her doodles and the half-finished projects that she keeps here for funies.
âyouâre acting like youâve never been here before.â you catch her looking around again in awe.
you examine her bruises and cuts / scratches, muttering to yourself about how she needs to be more careful and mindful of whatâs really happening to her if sheâs in the right state of mind in the first place.
she hears all of your mutters and mumbles but doesnât say anything like sheâs deaf or something. watching you intently as you fix her up again.
âmy personal nurse!â a little nickname she always has for you when it comes time for healing.
once youâre done. itâs immediately cuddle time!
âcâmon toots! i know youâre still tired! cuddle with me.â
trying to punish her by not giving her what she wants is funny and scary. funny on how much she begs and demands for it but scary on what her reaction will be if you tease her for too long.
âshut up! stop saying! youâre lying!â
when the hallucinations come back then you comfort her. you didnât want it to reach that point but whatever.
cuddle time, you are the bed. jinx curls up on you, does her whole starfish on top of you, or you are her whole body pillow when sheâs half way on you. sheâs clingy as fuck. you arenât complaining but when itâs time to get up or use the bathroom in the middle of the night it is a struggle.
you know she barely gets enough sleep for your liking due to her always working on guns snd bombs and working for her father so when she does sleep, sheâs out cold. a light and heavy sleeper depending on where she is or who sheâs around.
with you, she isnât waking up until you somehow escape her animal grip while she sleeping.
âmorning toots, where are you going?â
it is longer than i excepted . â just have an HC of jinx hearing almost everything but nothing at the same time. due to how aware she is but also she dissociates every time (just like me fr)
Â©ïž A M A T E R A S U. all rights reserved. please don't plazarize, copy, or steal any of my works without my permission, thank you !
#â â â â â â â â â â đČàŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶Öž ïžÖŽÖ¶Öž amastarxoxo đ€ .#â â â â â â â â â â â Ë works ê°ê°â ââ ê±ê±#â â â â â â â â â â â Ë favorite ê°ê°â ââ ê±ê±#arcane x reader#arcane#jinx x reader#jinx x y/n#jinx x you#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane x female reader#jinx x fem!reader#jinx#arcane jinx
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Hi hi hi! Was wondering if you could do a jinx x reader fic where instead of ekko saving her from blowing herself up it was the reader
Tyy <333
of course! thank you for the request <3
two out of three finals knocked out, then one more tomorrow and im free đ
summary: fem! reader saves jinx from blowing herself up.
characters included: jinx
tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, suicidal ideation, mentions of poor mental health, s2 spoilers, (some) fluff at the end, reader does not have ekko's time traveling skills (sorry)
men dni.
jinx stands on a ledge, dark tears staining her pale cheeks. long, blue braids gone. her shoes taken away, nail beds raw. she stands, with one of her own bombs, pulling at the safety pin. testing her own fate with each pull growing stronger and stronger.
pulling, pulling, pulling.
until she hears your footsteps, slowly looking over her shoulder. jinx looks through you, her eyes so utterly blank and dull. she looks so⊠defeated. sheâs out of energy and out of resolve. she doesnât say anything to you, though, only turns back to the bomb in her hands. pulling the pin one more time-
until you wordlessly sprint towards her, throwing your arms around her in a way that miraculously didnât throw her off her balance. clasping both hands over hers, physically restraining her from putting the bomb to use.
âplease, jinx, can we talk about this?â
you plead, your eyes desperately searching for any kind of reason. her eyes are downcast, her face relaxed. too relaxed. her voice comes out in a soft yet exhausted whisper.
âleave me alone, (y/n).â
âno.â
jinx tries to wriggle her hands out of your grasp, her shoulders thrashing with the movements and face contorting. sheâs impatient. she wants to do this and get it over with.
âyouâre too late.â
she says, still trying to escape your hold. still grasping her bomb, desperately trying to find any kind of purchase. anything. sheâs given up, sheâs done. there isnât a point.
âtoo late for what?â
you gasp, now in a full wrestle with your girlfriend. wrapped around jinx from behind, your hands over hers, sharp nails scratching your skin and jinx writhing. grunting. sheâs so frustrated yet so empty, and it makes your heart ache inside your chest. with the loss of isha, being thrown in jail, losing almost everyone she had⊠you understood jinx. finding motivation to keep living was already difficult enough for her, but almost all of those things had been ripped away from her.
it rips you into pieces seeing your girlfriend like this. youâve seen it all: her breakdowns. screaming and crying because voices and hallucinations wonât leave her alone. her trying to act as if she doesnât care when she gets blown off by her sister. coming home with bruises and cuts from god knows where after a mission, or even worse, coming home an inch from death. but never have you seen jinx like this.
jinxâs knees buckle under her and she falls to the ground, but your grasp is still strong.
âdrop it, jinx.â
âno.â
âdrop it.â
and to your surprise, she does drop it. you hoped to whatever was out there that this was the end of it, that she would give up. she would go home with you and finally tell you exactly what brought her to this point. stationery, the bomb falls on the floor, rolling away from the both of you and jinx staying in that kneeling position.
until she doesnât.
âiâm tired of talking.â
she mutters under her breath, making her way to a ledge without so much as looking back at you. your senses are blown into full panic mode as you spring to your feet to sprint towards her, reaching for her braids to restrain her from stepping over- but theyâre gone. your hand shot to the clasp of her top. holding jinx in place as if her life depended on it, probably because it did.
âjinx, baby, please. i know that things have been hard, youâre not happy. but you have to stay alive. for me, if nothing or nobody else. please.â
you plead. you circle jinx to stand in front of her, placing your hands on her shoulders gently. almost afraid that sheâll break if you handle her too harshly, especially after just restraining her to stop her from killing herself. your eyes are filled with tears just waiting to spill, your lips pressed into a thin line. and then you feel jinx begin to tremble.
like a bridge that's lost its foundation, shaking and threatening to combust. her breathing is getting quicker, her eyes are darting from place to place to place, but never once settling on you.
"jinx."
you squeeze her shoulders, looking into her eyes, desperately trying to get through to your girlfriend. there has to be something you can do, surely. how come nothing is working? you've already pulled out all of the stops, what more could you do? what, if anything, would be successful? the tears in your eyes spill over, but you don't make any sound. you can't. you have to hold it together for jinx's sake.
jinx swallows tentatively. quivering.
"i... i can't do this anymore."
"of course you can," you whisper. reaching up to cup one of her cheeks with your hand, but she jerks away.
"everyone i get close to dies. or they leave. mylo, claggor, vander, isha... will you be next?"
she asks, finally locking eyes with you. it's clear that it's a rhetorical question- jinx doesn't want an answer. she wouldn't be able to handle an answer, not right now.
âno. no. iâm not leaving, jinx- and i donât plan on dying any time soon. please, listen to me.â
you beg her, still looking into her eyes, half-lidded and glowing pink. one hand coming up to try and cup jinxâs cheek again, and this time, she allows it. this is a good sign. youâre getting somewhere.
âi have to break the cycle. i have to do something to fix all of this,â she says. âiâve done so much i canât come back from. what else is there to do?â
âwalk away.â you whisper.
âwhat?â
âwalk away. you donât need to die, jinx, walk away. go somewhere. take me with you. you can still break the cycle without doing this.â
your thumb is brushing her cheek, your own cheeks stained with dried tears.
âwhat is your death going to fix? if anything, itâll cause more pain. zaun will be fine if you walk away, but could you imagine what would happen if you died?â
jinx looks down, and another tear falls from your eye.
âplease, you have to stay. iâll come with you. iâll do anything. just please, baby, donât die. i donât know what i would do with myself if you did.â
you plead with jinx. desperation is obvious in your tone, her jaw quivering, threatening to cry herself. sheâs spent.
you feel jinxâs hand slowly, hesitantly coming to rest atop yours on her cheek, and all she does is nod. slowly.
âletâs go home.â
you whisper, brushing a lock of hair from out of her eyes.
âwhat do i do from here?â
jinx asks, her voice low and unsure.
âweâll figure something out. i promise.â
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Ahhhh I've been waiting for your requests to open, I've been following you since your first Price fic and never had an idea to request until like 2 weeks ago đ« so, I've been thinking, what about being in a relationship with Keegan but getting separated when ODIN hits the earth and not meeting again until about 5 years later? đ Love your writing, hope you have a great day đ©” :)
For The Weak And Weary
PAIRING: Keegan P. Russ x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: When ODIN struck you had thought he had died, sky alight with fire. It had taken years to accept it, much less live with it. But after Dallas falls, would you get a glimpse of your Lover's phantom again?
WORDCOUNT: 6.2k
WARNINGS: Angst, depressive thoughts, PTSD insinuations, gore, wounds, blood, death, canon-typical violence, (1) suggestive joke, alcohol, hallucinations, fluffy reunion, tears, verbal arguments, etc.
A/N: Just because I'm a sucker for sticking to the game timeline I made it ten years, lol. Enjoy, Anon! Very fun prompt.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
You could never make sense of what Keegan went through in 2005 during Operation Sand Viper. It would be pointless to try and wrap your head around it from what little you knew. All that mattered was that when he came back on leave, something in his eyes wasâŠdamaged. Hell, heâd only been sixteenâthe both of you had known each other since you were kids, you knew when something was wrong.
And this was entirely new to you.
He smiled less and snapped more; got spooked when you dropped something in his family's kitchen like a grenade had gone off. Maybe, you reasoned, he thought one actually had.Â
But through it all, you could still see how much he cared about you. When you were old enough youâd both moved into a nice place in the suburbs and started a relationshipâa life shared between the two of you.Â
You knew he loved you from the way heâd grip you close at night and breathe into your scalp. How when you were sick from the take-out dinner heâd brought home, Keegan would hold back your hair and rub circles into your spine as you threw up. He never shied away from telling you how beautiful you were; prided himself on it. Keegan loved to show you off.
But there were times back then when you wondered if the same Keegan that had been so fulfilled to join Ghosts had died, and, in fact, a phantom was instead puppeting his skin. He was so quiet now.
If youâd known that the world was going to end on July 10th, 2017, youâd have never let him walk out that door angry. You would have grabbed his hand and pressed your lips to his, whispered affirmations into his flesh and sobbed at the cruelty of it all.
âI canât keep pretending that youâre okay!â You yell, tears in your eyes, at the man standing tense in the kitchen doorway. Blank blue eyes stare lifelessly. âKeeganâthis is killing you.âÂ
It was early morning by then, and the neighborhood was quiet. The house that the both of you had moved into years ago was littered with the remnants of a happy home. Pictures on the walls, dishes in the sink, and freshly baked bread on the counter. All youâd tried to do was give Keegan a hug, slipping your hands around his waist when youâd entered.Â
Heâd balked back, jerking to the side and nearly elbowed you in the gut before he saw your wide eyes and stopped himself. The way heâd looked at youâŠhow could eyes be so dead?
âYou need to talk to someone,â you put your foot down, shaking your head. âI-I donât know a therapist orâŠor someone who can get you proper help because I canât keep acting like I can live like this.âÂ
Every mission, every time he went away, it always got worse.Â
Keeganâs eyes get sharp, hands at his sides clenching. He speaks in a low growl. âI donât need to talk to a shrink, alright? Iâm fine, you just startled me.â
âBullshit,â your mouth hisses, glaring. âYou thought you were back in â05.â
The man points at you, strong jaw clenching, âDonât.â
âKeegan,â you plead, âplease, I love you! I donât care about this, I just want you to be alright. To be able to live your lifeââ
âWhat you want is to try and change me!â The black-haired man barks. Your eyes blink in shock. Keegan rarely yelled. âI already told you I was fine, why donât you get off my back all the time?â His eyes flash, pupils going to slits as his hands shake at his sides. Why did he look scared? Your breath stills, lips slightly open, with tears dripping to the tile. âFuck, itâs like I canât come home without you pesterinâ me âbout something!âÂ
A stiff silence falls.
âKeeââ He snaps a hand to his mouth and rubs at his stubble, suddenly unable to look at you.
â...Forget it.â Itâs low and shaky how he says it, eyes wide, before he darts into the foyer and slips into his boots. You listen to the sounds of panicked shuffling before the man wrenches open the front door and slams it shut behind him. One of the picture frames falls and hits the ground with a shattering of glass.
You flinch and tense, taking down a terse breath and sniffling tightly. Trying to get your lungs to work properly, your feet take you over to the picture as they feel weak and uneven; a stuttering mess of steps before you bend down. Your fingers bleed as they shift the glass away, taking out the image of you and Keegan on your hike through the mountains.Â
Smiling faces mock you, and you break at the bright and open affection Keegan wears as he looks down at youâeyebrows curved up and smirk like a knife to the chest.Â
You loved him so much it hurt to breathe when he was away.Â
He had needed time, you knew, but what you didnât know was that time wouldnât be available. Around noon the world had opened into a ball of fire and death. 27 million dead. Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix, Houston, and MiamiâŠall goneâŠat least, that was what everyone in Dallas was telling you.Â
When Keegan had been away taking a walk to calm himself, youâd been home alone. The earth caved, the ground shook; houses burst like balloons. By the time youâd crawled from the rubble of your home, all you had was the picture and the clothes on your back. People were screamingâyou were screaming. But you knew that you couldnât stay here if you wanted to survive.Â
And then youâd made it to Dallas by sheer luck and the few tricks Keegan had taught you; had thought that he had died in that first strike by the Federation. You carried that guilt and self-hatred for not holding your tongue for a few more hours.Â
So much could have been different in these ten years. Better. You never got over him for even a second.Â
But the reality was that you couldnât think about all of that now, because if you didnât focus on holding your breath you would be dead in the next three seconds.Â
Your hand is anchored to the body of your sniper rifle, finger hovering over the trigger as you hide behind the outcropping of rubble in the decimated cityscape; the air is hot and humid despite the weight of the night. It sticks to your skin in a sheen of violent sweat. Yet itâs still not as potent as the blood.Â
Teeth gritted, you hold back whimpers as Federation soldiers stalk the grounds, scores of themâlegions. An entire army that had breached the walls and executed everyone insight, soldiers, civilians, if it once moved it didnât anymore. The burning in your shoulder was agonizing, head smashing itself back to the rubble in an attempt to stifle your own ragged need to scream into the night as layers had peeled back to allow a bullet to pass through.Â
In the ten years youâd been here, youâd taken up the mantle of quite the sharpshooter; pulling on Keeganâs lessons when he was on leave and wanted to bring you to the firing range. You had even picked a rifle similar to the one back in your destroyed homeâheld in a plastic case and treated like royalty by your long-deceased lover. It wasnât the same, but the jet-black Lynx made you steady like the picture in your breast pocket did.Â
A reminder of what was lost and why you had picked the knock-off up in the first place.
Footsteps get closer as the sweep of a flashlight cards above your skull, if possible you go even more still, lips pulled in and heart rampaging. There were barked orders and yelling, but no more screaming.Â
How long had you been unconscious after taking that shot to the shoulder? Fear was breeding with horrorâwasâŠwas everyone dead?
Spanish is loudly called not five feet away, and the flashlight leaves as your breath does. You let off a quiet gasp and suck down air greedily. Eyes flashing from one shadow to another, you look for any opportunity to slip away from the city. In the wind, you could smell fire, and taste it on your tongue as you licked your lips.Â
All around you can see the limp shadows of bodies and the apartments, large skyscrapers were on fire deep in their frames. The city was entirely lost.
How the federation got into the walls you would never know, though there was concern about the enemy soldiers rounding up civilians outside the walls and executing them. Maybe one cracked before the bullet entered their skull.
You bite hard into your lip to force back your pain. Trying to shoot a rifle would be useless at this point, you might as well have lost the limb. Slinging the gunâs strap over your head, you look back and forth along your visible perimeter, checking for hostiles as you unsheathe your combat knife and cradle your limp arm to your chest.Â
If only Keegan could see you now.
Rounds of gunfire make the air burn with urgency, and you take the time to peek out behind as sweat makes a trail down your dirty face, dripping off of your chin as you breathe like a wheezing dog. Your wound needed tending, and you had the med pack on your vest with the supplies, but you canât do it here.
Whereâs safe? If Dallas has fallenâŠis there anywhere thatâs still standing? A location hits your brain as your gaze darts from one abandoned street to another. You take a deep breath and whine as you force your legs to stand and move quickly, feet shifting as quietly as youâre able to make them.Â
âFort Santa Monica.â Now a stronghold, youâd heard US soldiers here talking about the large presence of military power out in Californiaânumbers so great they rivaled those that had lived in Dallas.Â
You stumble over a spasming body and slam your uninjured shoulder into the bulk of the buildingâs wall, groaning loudly like a wounded boar.Â
âFuck!â If you made it out of the city, that would be where you would have to go; to warn them of what was coming. The Federation had found a way inside the Dallas wall, and that meant if they had enough tenacity, they could do it to them too.Â
Everything would be done if another city fell. Â
Holding your knife tighter, you push off the wall and grit your teeth harder, mind running on that edge of hysteria and forced calm. Itâs in these moments where you have to pull on old memories to keep you goingâeven if they end up hurting more than the open wounds you carry.Â
Keegan had his bad moments, but you always got through them together. Years and years of knowing each other inside and out; memorizing bodies and thoughts like they were second nature. He would want you to keep fighting, tell you to get your ass in gear and goâŠand you would never let him down.Â
You owed him that much even if some days you wanted more than anything to join him.Â
Blade in hand, you hear muttered speech from up the alleyway and pause, feet splayed but still swaying as you come to a slow stop. Your ears ring at garbled sentences, foreign words spilling into one another.Â
Panting, you listen closely, limbs vibrating. More gunfire echoes over the air, screams and death that get ingrained into your head like a brand into sizzling flesh. Skyscrapers burned and buildings fell with great earthquake booms. Everything is under a sheen of distance.
Get out of the city. Get to Fort Santa Monica.
âKill who I have to,â you slur out, itching at your neck as you leave a trail of blood behind you. A single pair of footsteps walk quickly forward near your corner and you hold your breath, bringing up your knife as pain pounds in your arm.Â
Deep blue eyes sit in the back of your mind, counting you down as they always did.
Keep your arm steady for me, Doll, a phantom tells you. Breathe...
When the first shadow of a Fed soldier graces your eyes, you strike.Â
â
Itâs roughly nineteen days from Dallas to Santa Monica, and that was if you kept up at a steady walking pace. If the crude sling youâd fashioned from bandages found in your med pack was any indicator, it would be double that.Â
On the first day, you had hiked half-dead over the destroyed landscape of what remained of the USA, licking your wounds and counting your losses. Youâd had your pick of abandoned houses, taking a red brick one just because it looked nice and you were about to pass out from blood loss. The only reason youâd made it this far was that the bullet had thankfully passed right through you, making sure that if you moved too suddenly no more damage was being done internally. You packed it with a sterile rag.
Sitting in the home, pictures gathering dust on the fireplace mantle, you tipped back a bottle of whisky youâd found in one of the bedrooms, grimacing at the sting. It was better to be drunk for what you were about to do.Â
Heating up your combat knife in the fire you had started in the hearth, you watched the metal grow an eye-flinching white as you stared off into nothingness.Â
âYou remember when you showed me that scar, Keegan?â You always talked to him. Others had given you shit for it, but they knew the purpose. If you didnât talk to someone, even a ghost, you would give up.Â
The guilt was eating you alive, and it would overtake you eventually. Hadnât in ten years, but it wouldâŠyou knew it, everyone did.Â
Keegan was everything, and nothing looked the same when you lost him.
âThe one on your thigh?â Pulling the knife back, you turn to the leaking flesh of your shoulder, gushing blood as black desecrates the sides of your eyes. Youâd taken off your vest and shirt. If you tried hard enough you could imagine Keegan standing in the corner, watching. Always watching. âYou said you had to dig a bullet out and cauterize the woundâwhen I asked you said you barely felt it over all the adrenaline.â
The ghost tilts its head, eyes sad and lips pulling taunt. Your lungs take in a shaky inhale and your hand quivers; only you feel how your eyes burn with unshed tears.Â
âI never thought about it before,â right as you growl and shove the knife into your skin, you bark out in fear, âBut I think you were fucking lying!âÂ
On day two, you knew you had to avoid the remains of Fort Worth, so you decided to increase your distance and cut that landmark out entirelyâtoo many remnants of Federation. They were everywhere now, and you needed to keep low; get out of Texas. You scavenged properties and took stock.Â
Four magazines for your Lynx, a pouch with five protein bars, one bottle of water attached to your belt, and your knife. Normally youâd have a pistol at your thigh, but youâd used it up in the firefight back home. When youâd woken back up, it had been gone.
And, of course, you had the picture. You kissed Keeganâs face and placed it back in your breast pocket, caressing the material softly before clearing your throat and addressing the obvious.Â
With what you had getting to California was a pipe dream.Â
Youâd been on the radio all day, clicking through channels and pleading for anyone alive to reach out. Nothing. Static.Â
Iâm the only one left. The thought was intoxicating, pounding in your skull like your hangover. Everyone is dead.Â
While you had become somewhat of a loner in the last ten years, especially with the few months youâd been by yourself in the beginning, Dallas had given you a chance to build bonds again. Ten years, and in an instant it was all wiped out.Â
It rang a devastating bell.
Somehow, you had cheated death where so many others had failedânot only in Texas, but back with ODIN too. You had survived, but somehow Keegan hadnât.Â
Keegan, the one who never spoke about â05 and jerked awake from nightmares years later because of it. Keegan, who wanted nothing more than to stay at your side when he was home and keep you on his chest when watching movies. Keegan, the love of your life.
The only love of your life.Â
âI really wish you were here,â you mutter, grimacing as your arm gets jostled as you stumble over a piece of rusted metal in the empty street. âWho gave you the right to go away before me, huh? We were supposed to grow old together, Russ. You promised me that.âÂ
Garbage gets blown over the road when a hot breeze shifts the air, bringing the scent of dirt and the noise of rustling trees. Nature has reclaimed the towns and suburbsâgreat patches of ivy and long grass that rise to your hips. But the silence was a curse.
The only thing keeping you going is the thought of delivering your warning to Santa Monica, from thereâŠ
Your lips thinned. What even was there left? How many times could you go from one place to another, starting over with stories of your past and having to brush the pitying looks off as you fake a smile?Â
Shaking your head, you recall memories from the better days as the light gets low in the sky.Â
âYouâre doinâ too much, Sweet Thing,â Keegan mutters, and you turn from the stove top with a bright smile to face him.Â
He had just gotten out of the shower, towel ruffling through his dark hair as he stands in the kitchen entrance and watches you cook for him. The shirt hangs off of his wide shoulders, and gray sweatpants are loose over his formed hipsâhis strong brow line raises in a casual expression.Â
âOh, donât act like you donât like it,â you tease, hearing his low chuckles as you turn back to your pan. âYou look good, yâknow.âÂ
âOh, yeah?â Keegan grunts, smirking, and his feet pad over to you, tossing the towel to the counter as his presence looms over your back. Large hands grab onto your hips and a nose burrows into your hair; inhaling deeply before gradually melting to the curve of your spine.Â
You smile and hum, pushing back so you can rest on his chest. A chin sets itself on your head, deep massaging fingers making you pur as they bunch your sleep shorts.
It was lateânearly two in the morning. Keegan had only gotten home a short while ago, but sleep wasnât going to stop you from spoiling him. A wine bottle was on the island counter, two glasses, and the food was nearly done from what you could scrounge up on short notice.
â...Good to be back,â the man grumbles into you, kissing your head and slowly sweeping his arms around your waist as you sighed softly at the contact.Â
Your face gains heat.Â
âWell, Iâd sure hope so, or else this would be awkward.â You huff to hide the bright smile in your voice. But like a moth to flame, you hear, as well as feel, Keegan chuckle against your spine. His grip squeezes you for a moment.Â
âHow was it when I was away?â He asks as you move around the contents in the pan, nose brushing your neck as his lips travel to kiss behind your ear. He breathes against the flesh as his low rasp makes you shiver. âAny trouble?â
âNegative, Sergeant,â you raise a brow and smirk over your shoulder at him, seeing his blues spark as he gazes hard into your eyes. A faint twitch to his lips is what you get before his hand captures your cheek; anchoring your face as he descends to connect his mouth to yours.
He sighs into it, arm still around your waistâtight as if you were a pillow.Â
âKeep talkinâ like that and we wonât have to wait long for dessert, will we?âÂ
Days three through seven were uneventful beyond the constant agony of your arm and tired legs, but on day eight amid a waterless walk in the sweltering heat was when the hallucinations began.Â
Keegan walks beside you, his footsteps mirroring your own as sweat pools down your forehead and drips off your nose. He doesnât speak, doesnât look at youâhe just walks, looking exactly like he did the day he died.Â
At first, youâd flinched back and blinked wildly at the sight, panting, but then heâd disappeared and your heart had shattered. It worried you with what you were seeing, but it was also a strange comfort to be able to ramble toâŠsomething, even if it wasnât real. Hungry and with a dry tongue, you were on the verge of calling it quits.
So on day eleven, without a wild animal in sight to give you a proper food source and all the water having to be purified, you started talking to him while licking the inside wrapper of your last protein bar.Â
âBut I never understood why you hated sleeping in shirts,â you licked your lips to get the remnants of granola off of your flesh, pushing away the greasy sheen from your cheeks. Your arm was burning upâevery heartbeat was felt as it moved the skin around red and infected flesh up and down. Puss was leaking out from the crude stitches you had made of embroidery thread from that first house youâd found.Â
âAnd you always kept the room freezing.â Continuing, you drop the wrapper to the ground and then take the meat of your fingers and get what little flavor you can off of them, grunting through realization. âThat was a ploy to have me use you for heat, wasnât it? Jesus.âÂ
The man in the corner of your vision smirks, tilting his head and chuckling from where he leans against a tree trunk.Â
âYeah, thatâs right. Knew it.â Glaring at nothing, you stand from your overturned stump and nearly fall right back over, stomach yelling at you as your vision swirls.Â
You dig a hand into your hair and grip at the strands, pulling and groaning. â...God.âÂ
Keegan comes over and stands above you, your eyes staring down at his feet as you get light-headed. You focus on his shoelaces, counting the Xs and taking down shaky breaths. When you blink like a cat with dirt on its face, the shoes are gone entirely and you stand back up to your full height.
â...Keegan?â You ask after a moment, the words disappearing into the trees, but no oneâs around.Â
Your sight goes to your wound and your jaw tightens, moments of clarity slipping in as a knife would into your consciousness before the curtain settles once more.Â
You bend over and vomit what little nutrients you had, spending day twelve sleeping through a fit of nightmares and fever-induced delirium.
Nothing about the remainder of the time you can recall to memoryâbits and pieces always flash through on long nights, but theyâre only walking montages. Dragging feet, looking at your hand as if it was a foreign object as you turned it back and forth; everything in a sheen of sickness. Days and days and days. Little food. Less water.Â
More than one-thousand miles.
But somehow, the Wall peels out in front of you as you crash through the foliage, your body giving out and collapsing down a large decline. Bouncing and getting jostled by rocks, you come to a stop without the strength to get back up, staring blankly ahead as your head connects with concrete. Your mouth is open in broken inhales, pain not even registering.Â
Shouts echo, the pound of rapid feet.Â
Green eyes meet yours, a youthful face with a beanie and stubble. Heâs saying something to you, glancing over your gear and your obvious near-death situationâhis hand jostles the side of your face. But your eyes shift behind him gradually, attention falling to someone more important.Â
Before you finally let yourself rest, you stare at the smiling face of your steadfast phantom.
â
The doctors and nurses at Fort Santa Monica were nice, if a bit secretive about the entire operation. Seeing as you werenât an official soldier, no dog tags or patchesâno name in the databaseâeveryone was a bit hesitant to tell you anything.Â
Until you said you were from Dallas, of course.Â
But no one was eager to rush you in your state, even if the information was dire. You had been hooked up to an IV and bedridden for a week straight; talking to nothing on account of the dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Some days you spend unconscious.Â
But what really pissed you off when you got back into it, was the fact that they had taken your Lynx and your gearâyour picture.
Youâd almost grappled onto the first nurse youâd seen when youâd woken without it. It was a beacon, your prized possession of damaged corners and taped tears. Water damage that may or may not have been from sobbing fits in the first five years.Â
In fact, that was the entire reason you had snuck out so late in the first place.Â
Stalking down the hallway in the white shirt and camo pants that had been given to you on the fifth morning you had woken up here, you pad along with no shoes, only plain gray socks. You limp with bandaged flesh all along your healing shoulder and your feet.Â
The doctor had explained that youâd entirely skinned the bottoms and your heels were a mess of blisters and open wounds.Â
âTake my property,â you grumble under your breath, shuffling along and rubbing at the back of your neck. âWhat gives them the right?âÂ
You werenât going to stop until you found it.Â
Reading the name tags on the walls, you silently wonder where they would have taken your stuff as you slip out of the medical ward, listening to the buzzing of the lights and frowning. As youâre limping along the next hallway, a man suddenly turns the corner on nearly silent feet.Â
âWoah!â You halt immediately, heart jumping in your chest. A hand catches your shoulder before you run headlong into him.Â
Green eyes lock with your own, wide and blinking quickly. Brows furrow and youâre quickly looked over before a slow, teasing remark enters the air, you listen with a growing heat on your neck.
âYâknow, I could have sworn you were supposed to be in bed, Maâam. I miss something here?â The man who had found you.Â
âWouldnât know,â you say blandly, blinking up at him and taking a careful step back. This brunette had a casual air to himâstill in his gear despite the time. He folds his arms and tilts his head at you, smirking. âIf youâll excuse me.âÂ
You begin to walk forward, slipping past him and hoping you wonât get snitched on. Except it seems youâll be having a shadow, as not a few seconds later a smooth chuckle meets your ears and the man walks beside you.Â
âI think Iâll be tagginâ along if you donât mind. Security and all.â He turns to face you, sticking out his opposite hand. âHesh.â
âThat supposed to be some kind of nickname, Kid?â You raise a stiff brow but participate in the handshake nonetheless. His grip is firm but not hard.Â
Hesh blinks at you, eyes swimming with amusement before he shrugs in a boyish way and shakes his head with a laugh. âHell, you remind me of someone, Maâam.â A moment passes in silence as you study the area. The man huffs, âWhere exactly are we off to?âÂ
âWonderland,â your lips grumble, tired and wanting to sleep but not until you find your picture. Hesh sighs but you can still hear the hilarity inside of it.Â
âAlright thenâŠdonât know if youâre going to be finding a shrinking potion anytime soon, though. Weâre in low stock.â
âVery funny,â your eyes send a dry look, but you relent when he prods you with his eyes, taking a corner. âIâm looking for my vest.â Hesh blinks at you in curiosity, letting you elaborate as you motion to your upper shoulder. âMy pouch has some of my personal belongings. I donât like being away from it.âÂ
âOh,â the brunette nods a few times, his beanie jerking along. âYeah, thatâs no problem.â A hand is waved and you stare in confusion as he pivots. âCâmon, Iâll get you there.âÂ
Your eyes burn into his back before you immediately speed after.Â
âWhy so eager to help?â Hesh smirks at your question.Â
âAs I see it, if you went over nineteen days of hard hiking just to get to us, you should at least be able to keep your stuff on you, Maâam.â Your lips flicker in a smile.Â
âYouâd be the first.â You tell him your name and miss the slight emotion it provokes in his eyes, head lightly pulling to the side but ultimately saying nothing. Hesh shrugs with a grunt, leading you to a meeting room on the opposite side of the building.Â
Yelling is on the other side.
âElias, how long has this been kept from me?!â The voice makes your head perk, evoking something inside of your chest. Hesh seems taken aback too, holding up a hand to you for momentary silenceânot that you had to be told.Â
âKeegan, I canât have that happen. She needs to recover and you being there could jeopardize that. We need what she knows about Dallas.â Your body stills to a near-frozen state, and itâs comedic how your entire face falls to a blank slate. Wait a second.
âŠKeegan?
âShe belongs with meâI thought she fucking died and sheâs been here for who knows how long?! Why wasnât I informed?â Rampaging feet suddenly sound off, going to the door at break-neck speed.
âSon, thatâs not a good idea. This is what I was worried would happen if you found out.â
âI didnât exactly ask, did I? As far as Iâm concerned, nothing else matters besides getting back to my Girl,â the bark is ferocious and violent, more of an animalâs than a manâs. âNow where the hell did you put her before I tear this damn fort apart andââ You shove at the door before Hesh can grab you, throwing it open and letting it hit the opposite wall with a great boom of wood.Â
Your wild eyes instantaneously lock into sharp blues, pulse pounding in your ears. Itâs like all the air is taken from your lungs in a great punch.Â
Oh, heâs so similar to how you remembered him to be ten years ago.Â
Keegan stands only a few feet away, turned in your direction with his eyes so wide and small you might faint. Thereâs black face paint in his sockets, making the cerulean all the more bright and shocking to the senses. Heâs still tall, still built, if only a bit more rugged than when ODIN struckâthere are lines on his forehead and his scars are more faded. Small differences in the way he holds himself like the difference between a rabbit and a hare. Keeganâs black locks are shorter now, but stillâŠhis.
Lips part in silent shock, an entire halt of your nervous system.Â
The entire universe holds its tongue as you two stare at each other; walls and rooms blur into a mess of matter and realityâthis couldnât be real.Â
Keeganâs feet shift for a moment as if to steady himself as his fingers twitch. In his hand, he holds your picture, his body covered in gear and weapons. He blinks as you tell yourself heâs a phantom, simply that same ghost come back to haunt you as tears sting the backs of your eyes. But then he speaks, and itâs the same voice you had slowly lost the ability to remember in year three.Â
â...Sweetheart?â
His ghost never spoke. His ghost could not imitate the phonics of his speech or the rhythm of his throat. His ghost could not make you recall the memories youâd long since boxed up.
You jerk forward just as he does, bodies colliding into a feral grip of flesh and fabric, hands latching and faces burying. Sobs rip from you as Keeganâs shaky breath echoes right next to your earâhis chest hitching and arms snatching your waist and lifting you up as easily as he always had. He holds you up without any thought of putting you down, legging your legs dangle as Elias slowly exits the room and corrals a highly confused Hesh with him.
The door shuts, but neither of you notices.Â
âKeeganââ Your voice is high with emotion, hardly believing what you're seeingâwhat youâre touching. âOh, my God.âÂ
He had been alive all this time? Ten whole years and youâd thought he was dead. But by the way he was barely letting you breathe from in his iron clutch, you imagined Keegan had thought the same about you. It wasâŠincomprehensible.Â
âShh,â he whispers, his shushes cracking and flinching between broken gasps of your name. âShh.â He sets you down on the floor only to have his firm hands travel to your cheeks, turning your head to each side in a desperate need to understand if you were really there.
Keeganâs eyes are wet, but no tears let themselves fall quite yet.Â
âIâm so sorry!â You hiccup and the man kisses your cheeksâyour browline and nose. Every piece of you he can as you both stay so intimate you might melt into one another. âI thought you were gone, I-I should have stayed and looked for you, I didnâtââ
âYouâre alive?â Keeganâs hands rub across your body, gripping and tugging you closer and closer. âMy Girlâs alive?âÂ
His tears drip to your face as he hovers above you, and you both shake with the weight of years.Â
âMe?â Your chuckle through sobsâyou want to scream and wail at the same time. Blue eyes flutter and ragged breaths puff on your forehead. âWhat about you, you asshole?âÂ
Keegan shakes his head, and you stare deeply into him, hands coming up to cup his cheeks as he sags forward. He had stubble now, spreading out to grate your flesh.Â
The man forces a weak huff.Â
âChrist,â is all he mutters before he presses his lips to yours in a kiss so unyielding you expect to have your air stolen. Ten years to feel him kissing you againâto feel his warm flesh under your hands and his heart rampage into you.Â
Youâd do it all over if it still amounted to this.
Your body shivers and you reciprocate with just as much fervor; this emotion of relief is so overwhelming and all-consuming that it makes your head light. You suck down quick breaths between the sensation of your lips meeting, Keegan doing the same.Â
Unconsciousness was better than letting him leave again, your lover sharing that sentiment as chests slid against one another. Soft hair slips through your fingers as you grip Keeganâs hair, cascading through locks as he groans into your lips and tries to hide his tears from you.Â
He pulls away and immensely shoves his head into your neck.Â
âYouâre here,â he whispers quickly. A hand quivers at the back of your head as your tears wet his gear. âYouâre right here. You came back to me, didnât you, Doll?âÂ
You cry, âIâm here, Keegan.â The man sobs when he hears you say his name, his knees giving out as you both fall to the floor and not letting the other move beyond the caress of skin and lips.
âI missed you,â Keegan gasps, âso much. Donât you understand? I was nothing without you. You took it all from me, everything. Every damn thing.âÂ
You press kisses to his neck and racing pulse, healing him inside and out without even realizing it; it was only fair, he was doing the same back to you.Â
The picture lays long forgotten on the floor.
âNever let me go,â your voice forces out, as he rocks you back and forth like a child. âNever again, Keegan. Please, I love you too much to go through that again.â
âNever,â he immediately promises, pulling back and kissing your lips againâneither can stop themselves from this. Blues eyes blink quickly, cataloging your face and every little blemish heâd have to relearn and study; to find the story behind. Keegan had never been happier. He felt like he might break from it. âOver my dead body, Iâm never lettinâ you out of my sight. Youâre stuck with me.â
You laugh genuinely for the first time in ten years and say youâd like nothing better as he pulls you back in and plants his mouth to yours in reverent worship. His arms trapping you to him as yours do just the same.
Not to leave again anytime soon.Â
TAGS:
@luuvbuzz, @emerald-valkyrie, @anna-banana27, @blueoorchid, @cryingnotcrying, @writeforfandoms, @homicidal-slvt, @jade-jax, @frazie99, @elmoees, @littlemisstrouble, @alpineswinter, @phoenixhalliwell, @idocarealot, @lavalleon, @facelessmemories, @h-leigh, @20forty9, @glitter-anon-asks, @emily-who-killed-a-man, @neelehksttr, @aeneanc, @escapefromrealitysm, @i-d-1-0-t, @pparcxysm, @hawkscanendme, @caramlizedtomatos, @konigsleftkidney, @sanfransolomitatm, @maelstrom007, @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet, @pheobees, @glitterypirateduck, @uselsshuman, @fan-of-encouragement, @halfmoth-halfman, @ghostlythunderbird, @I-inkage, @pukbadger, @kopatych11, @0nceinabluem00n, @cocrorapop, @knightofsexyness, @abnormalgeil, @smallseastone, @jacegons, @330bpm-whiplash, @simon-rileys-housewife, @4-atsu, @tiredmetalenthusiast
#cod#cod x reader#cod x you#call of duty#x female reader#call of duty keegan#call of duty x reader#call of duty x you#cod keegan#keegan p russ#keegan x reader#keegan russ#keegan x you#keegan russ x reader#keegan p russ x reader#call of duty ghosts#cod ghosts x reader#cod ghosts#cod keegan russ#cod fic#cod fanfic#cod x female reader#x fem!reader
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Y'know, it's so funny to me when people make out like Tim Drake would keep files on how to take down his friends when Tim has explicitly said he disagrees with Batman on this:
[Young Justice (1998) #36]
Like, yes, during his Red Robin tenure he does make a Hit List full of contingency plans for known heroes. But if you go and read that, you'll notice that, while the Justice League and Damian may be on there, Tim's own friends are decidedly absent:
[Red Robin (2009) #14]
In fact, a lot of these heroes are people that have either (a) attacked Tim specifically, (b) have a track record that includes turning evil/getting mind controlled, or (c) are on the JLA (meaning Batman probably already had those files compiled and Tim just stole them).
So yeah: Tim's not down with contingency-planning for his friends. You know which one of the YJ crew DID agree with Batman though? My favorite blorbina Anita Fite, aka Empress:
[Young Justice (1998) #36]
But yeah, this contrast is honestly fascinating to me. Because while both Anita and Tim have been shown to be incredibly loyal individuals, this exchange really highlights the fact that, between the two of them, Anita is far more likely to engage in this kind of pragmatism when she thinks it's necessary to get the job done
The whole Our Worlds at War arc actually does a really good job of illustrating how both of them react to betrayal from within. It's not just the Batman Files conflict either -- I'm thinking specifically about the hallucination-based torture Granny Goodness put them through, which showed them their worst fears. Most of the team ended up having to watch their loved ones die, but what's super interesting to me is that we really only see Anita and Tim hallucinate that their loved ones blame them for their deaths:
[Young Justice (1998) #37]
Like. It's not the same as a teammate turning evil at all. But it does give us a good idea of how they'd both react when faced with a friend or teammate doing harmful things, albeit on a smaller scale. Because where Tim kind of just accepts Superboy yelling at him and moves straight into bargaining for Kon's life, Anita actually flips the script, gets angry, and defends herself against her father:
[Young Justice (1998) #37]
(she actually gets so righteously pissed off that she manages to break out of the VR simulation Granny Goodness had her trapped in, but that's another point)
But yeah, it's super interesting, because by this point, both Anita and Tim have been set up to be very similar characters. They both can be a little bit obsessive, they both have some issues with boundaries and stalking (Tim with Nightwing and Batman, Anita with Cissie), and of the team, they're both portrayed as the "normal" members (Anita does technically have mind control powers but she barely ever uses them, and in a fight, she's basically just a very good, human-level fighter)
But at the end of the day, though Batman forces Robin to put on a cool front of objectivity, Tim (at least in his pre-grief-spiral era) ultimately wants to see the best in his team. When the people he cares about screw up, he wants to give them second chances. And when that trust gets broken, his first instinct is to try to use diplomacy, or, failing that, simply remove himself from the situation (as we see at the end of the Our Worlds at War arc when he quits the team)
Anita, on the other hand, while still incredibly loyal, does not hand out that loyalty unconditionally. We see this when she tries to keep her identity secret from the YJ squad, we see it when she gets pissed in Granny Goodness's hallucination when her father blames her for her mother's death, and we see it when she later blames Secret for her perceived role in Anita's father's death
Anita also happens to sit right smack dab in the middle of the YJ morality scale; while she's generally pretty chill and willing to abide by typical superhero codes of ethics (unlike Slobo and Secret), she's also been shown to bend those rules when she believes it's necessary (as seen here when she tortures and threatens to kill a man for trying to hurt Cissie). Ultimately, what this means is, between Tim and Anita, it's honestly Anita who'd probably be the most willing to put her personal qualms aside, buckle down, and go against her loved ones if it was the only reasonable option
Anyway. This is a really long-winded way of saying I think Gun Batman's biggest nemesis should be Empress
#anita fite#meta#tim drake#young just us#LISTEN hear me out i may be an anita girlie but i'm also right#they barely interact but that doesn't change the fact that they're FOILS your honor. one reflects the other#plus she's probably got hella connections in the government like let's face it fite and maad definitely knew amanda waller#gnome talks comics#red robin#yj98#young justice core four#batfam#batfamily#dc comics#anita tag#kon el superboy#donald fite#titans of tomorrow#gun batman#long post#tim tag
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not for us
pairing: miguel oâhara x fem!reader
summary: miguel oâhara found the face of the woman he had loved (and lost) in his office, donning a spider suit with a warm cup of coffee in hand for him. he knew there were no second chances, not for the both of you. still, he couldnât help longing.
warning: a shit ton of angst⊠i just cannot let this man be happy, can i? death of loved ones (an alternate you and gabi).
note: fun fact! i wrote this feverishly under my covers at 1 am. enjoy while we wait for me to finish ripping my hair out over chapter two of my miguel series <3
miguel oâhara masterlist. | gif credit. | ao3 mirror.
You were dead. Miguel knew this.
When he looked up and saw you, smiling with a warm cup of coffee in your outstretched hand, he thought he had been hallucinating.
He thought that maybe Lyla had been rightâ his lack of sleep and refusal to take care of himself for the sake of work finally caught up to him, but no.
You were real.
Standing there, donning the same spider emblem so many others did. His weary eyes traced over your face, taking in every detail his worn out state allowed for him to. He felt almost selfish for the first thought that came to mind.
You looked as beautiful as the day he lost you.
His heart lodged up in his throat and his eyes stung with tears as he heard the sound of a slight laugh fall from your lips.
âWell, are you gonna take the coffee or what?â
He swallowed quickly, picking his head up off of the desk he had fallen asleep on in a flash. Instinctively, he stood up straighter and brushed back his hair, some part of him still wanting to look good for you.
Miguel grabbed the coffee from you with a tentative hand, almost afraid that if he touched you, you would fade to nothing.
(Just as you had a year ago.)
He had never been more grateful for the dim lighting of his office. If it had been any brighter, he was sure you would be able to see the way his eyes glassed over, as you spoke, filling to the very brim with solemn pain.
âIâm Y/n,â You smiled, tilting your head to the side.
He almost flinched. He knew that.
âY/n L/n.â
His chest squeezed. It had been OâHara, once.
âPeter B. recruited me this morning and I, uh, Iâve heard a lot about you.â
Of course he did. Miguel made a mental note to have a chat with his least favorite Peter Parker.
At his lack of a response, you fiddled nervously with your hands. âUm, anyway, Iâve heard that youâre a huge workaholic. I mean, youâre the one who started this whole thing, right? I just⊠thought you could use a little pick me up.â
You gave him a smile so warm it burned.
His face shifted with an expression that was unreadable. Too many feelings were festering inside of him. Too many thoughts. Too many questions. Too many unspoken words.
His voice came out gruff. âThanks.â
(He didnât mean for it to.)
The smile didnât leave your face as you nodded, taking backwards steps out of his office. âOf course, anytime. Take care of yourself, Miguel. It was nice meeting you.â
His door clicked shut and Miguel fell to his knees.
You were lying. Probably. Most likely.
The only word he said to you was thanks, that too in the least thankful voice he could have ever mustered. (God, he was an idiot, wasnât he?)
Still, your answer was typical of your character.
You were a kind person. Someone that always sought to see below what met the eye.
You had also always been a caring figure. One that doted, poured love onto whomever you could, even in the smallest of ways.
You had been that way with Gabiâ gentle hands, a guiding voice. And you had been that way with him in a way, too.
Slipping him snacks in his work bag, knowing his habit of forgetting meals. Pulling blankets over his slumped form if he ever fell asleep at his desk, knowing his tendency to drown himself in work. Giving him all the kindness you could offer, reminding him of how much you loved him, knowing his self-doubtful ways.
You were being that way now, bringing him coffee at even hearing that he overworked himself. You didnât even know him⊠and yetâŠ
Miguelâs heart felt like it was being crushed and he swallowed back a sob, eyes squeezing shut.
Seeing you alive and well was all he wished for, but he hadnât thought about the pain that came with knowing that he could never show up at your doorstep, begging for forgiveness for what he had done to you. To Gabi. To your world.
Because you werenât his. This version of you didnât love him, didnât even know him.
(He supposed the other version of you didnât exactly love him, either.)
âLyla,â
His voice came out choked. He placed himself in front of his monitors almost robotically, hands moving absentmindedly to pull up and replay the same old home videos he tortured himself with for hours on end.
âSend out a message that I am not to be disturbed.â
đ
It had been an odd few months.
Miguel had spent more time with this⊠alternate you than he wanted, and as much as he hated to admit it, it was partially his fault.
He had made himself promise after promise, swearing to stay away from youâ but youâŠ
You were magnetic.
He was drawn to you the way planets and moons were drawn into their orbits â by a force so fundamental there was nothing that could be done to help it.
In the many missions he went on with you and in the small moments he had spent with you back at the societyâs Headquarters, he had observed that you were different.
This version of you had a body that was littered with small scars, eyes that carried the certain pain that every version of Spiderman knew.
You were different, but so eerily the same.
You still laughed the way he remembered, with your whole heart, nose crinkling and eyes screwing shut. You still worried the same, always rounding into his office some way to another to check up on him. You made the same jokes, seemed to love the same things.
If anything, the small changes this new version of you possessed made him fall even more in love with you.
(He hadnât thought that was even possible.)
Miguel had always known you were strong. But seeing that this version of you had remained softhearted â despite the many, many hardships that could have turned anyone bitter â attested to that trait even further. You were more resilient and kind than he had thought you were, and he adored you even more for it.
With the you that he had loved, he had known every nook. Every cranny. He had memorized every curve, every dip, every single part of you.
He had seen and touched and loved it all wholly, and now, some sick part of him was itching to do the same once again.
Miguel wanted to trace your scars, hear where they came from. He wanted to see every new part of you that was unfamiliar to him now, wanted to know if you still like being held the same, if your hair still smelled of lingering jasmine shampoo.
He shouldnât be thinking about this. It was wrong. He knew it. You werenât for him, not in this universe or any universe.
Because even the you that he had grown to love wasnât meant to be his. He wasnât the man that had raised your daughter, the man that had married you.
Still, what was more human than longing for what you cannot have? He had to remind himself over and over that he had tried that once.
He had reached for a happiness that was not written out for him. And the consequencesâŠ
His mind drifted to you. To Gabi.
To the way you had been close enough to touch, the way his beloved daughter had been in his arms. To the way you had both been so close and then gone like you were never there in the first place.
âŠThe consequences had been devastating.
He would not make the same selfish mistake again. No, he wouldnât. Happiness wasnât for everyone, and he would force himself to live with that.
(Even if it hurt. Even if he longed for nothing more than you, you, you.)
đ
The mission had gone spectacularly downhill, and Miguel was in worse shape than he had ever been.
His body ached, but he bit back the pain.
He clumsily patched himself up and forced himself to carry on.
Miguel was in his office as he usually was, hunched over his monitors when you barged into the room.
âMiguel!â your voice was panicked as you made your way up to him. âShit, shit, shit, I heard what happened. Are you okay?â
Your eyes were wide, swimming with worry, and Miguel had to force his gaze back to his screens.
âI am alive, arenât I?â
âThatâs not what I meant, I-â You let out a frustrated breath. âGod, Jess told me you were almost killed and now youâre just⊠on your computer again!?â
âI have to file a mission report.â
âNope. Not now.â
Before Miguel would even process your words, your hands were already looping around his arm, pulling him away from his work with all the strength your smaller frame could muster.
âYou are going to rest. Now. Where is your room, do you have a bed here? Take me there, now.â
Being a man of his size and strength, Miguel could have easily resisted your pulling, but some small part of him wanted this.
(He missed being cared for. He missed your hands on his skin. He missed you and he hated himself for it.)
âWhy are you doing this, Y/n. Itâs the middle of the night, you should be at home.â
âAnd you shouldnât?â
Fair point. That silenced him.
You stopped in your tracks, heaving in small breaths before turning to him. âCâmon now. Open a portal into your room. You need a bed and a good nightâs sleep for once.â
If this were anyone else, he would have told them to get lost. Go home. Crawl back to whatever universe they had come from, but it was you.
Miguel swallowed thickly and did as you asked.
He could almost hear Lylaâs snickering. Hear the teasing remarks she would always pester him with about how down bad he was.
(You made a comment once about how the cafeteria should serve Spiderman themed burgers, so he discreetly made it happen. You said something about how you liked his webbed cape, so he made sure to always put it to use if you were around. You could probably ask for the sun as a joke one day and he just might be lovesick enough to give the impossible task a try.)
He could also hear her reminder that it was incredibly unhealthy for him to let this version of you be a temporary filler for the hole left in his heart after he lost the woman he had loved.
(The woman he was never meant to have.)
Still. He had opened the portal. Betrayed his promises to himself yet again and let you take him by the hand into his room.
His bedroom looked untouched. In all honesty, he couldnât remember the last time he had fallen asleep here, so it made sense.
You walked over to his bed, pulling Miguel with a small hand around his wrist, and stopped to point to the bed with a stern finger. âChange into some pajamas. Then get yourself here.â
The man grumbled, face flushing as he trudged over to his closet to grab a snug fitting cotton t-shirt and a pair of sweats. He flicked the light on in his small bedroom bathroom and went in to change.
When he came back, pajamas and all, you were sitting on his bed, having drawn his covers back.
You caught sight of him and bolted up with a smile.
âYou look nice! Er, comfortable, I mean.â
Miguel felt his heart flutter. (Was it stupid that you still had that effect on him? Probably.)
You cleared your throat and laughed nervously before giving his bed a small pat. âSleepy time.â
Miguel didnât know why the action felt embarrassing, why he suddenly felt shy.
He laid his head down on the soft expanse of his pillow stiffly, body rigid as he heard you shuffling around to pull up his covers.
You just about pulled them up to his shoulders when you took notice of how uncomfortable he looked.
âYou look uneasy, is something the matter?â
âNo.â
âWould you like a blanket instead? Or, or, a blanket with your covers?â
âNo.â
âIs it too warm in here? Too cold?â
âNo.â
âDid you clean yourself up right? Did you take meds for the pain?â
âNo.â
âAha! I knew it was something. You really have to start taking care of yourself, Miguel. Where do you keep your medicine? Oh! And do you have a nighttime version? It could help you sleep.â
Miguel let out a sigh, sitting himself up. He made a vague gesture towards a desk, one he hadnât touched or used in months.
âThereâs a drawer in that deskâŠâ
âPerfect.â
You walked over, pulling the drawer out to rummage through the contents of it. âShoot, looks like youâre out of pills. Guess youâll have to settle for the liquid kind. Do you have a spoon?â
âKitchen.â
âWhich is⊠where?â
He forgot. You didnât live with him, you didnât know this home.
âIf you open the door here and, uh, walk right.â
âOkay,â You nodded, giving him a soft smile before walking out. âbe back in a sec.â
He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned quietly to himself as soon as you were out of earshot. Dios, he felt stupid. How could he forget?
Maybe you were right, maybe he did need to start taking care of himself. His head felt foggy. His back was tight, shoulders heavy with exhaustion.
You returned with a spoon in hand, clicking his bedroom door shut as you walked towards him.
âI donât want to spill any, so Iâm just gonnaâŠâ
You were in front of him, pouring the medicine into the spoon, and then your hand was on his shoulder, steadying yourself so you donât let it spill.
He was sure heâd scold himself in the morning for what he was doing, but just for now⊠just this once⊠he let himself melt into your touch.
His muscles visibly relaxed as he downed the tart tasting liquid. He let out a sigh as you pulled the spoon back from his lips. (Hand still on his shoulder, he noted.)
You bit your lip, brows knitting together as your eyes traced over his face. âIâm serious, Miguel, you need to start letting yourself rest.â You gave his shoulder a small squeeze and his heart was beating so hard he could hear it thumping in his ears. âWork is important, but so are you, okay?â
In that moment, Miguel almost felt like you loved him, like you were the woman who had been his wife.
Maybe if you stayed one night, if you curled up beside him and let him hug you from behind just this once, you could love him again, you could be his the way he would always be yours and the two of you could be happy.
Stay,
He wanted to say.
Please, stay.
But he wouldnât allow himself to.
There were no second chances, not for the both of you.
Instead, he let himself say the things he so badly wanted you to hear in a way you wouldnât understand.
âPerdĂłname, querida.â His voice was a mumble, barely above a whisper. âTe decepcionĂ©, lo siento mucho, cariño.â
âS-Sorry, I donât know much Spanish.â Your voice was almost self-conscious.
He gave you a small, tired smile. Eyes fond as they met yours. âThank you.â
His voice was soft, almost gentle. He said it in a way that actually sounded thankful, this time.
You smiled and retracted your hand from his shoulder, assuming that those two words were what he had said to you in his native tongue.
âI said anytime, remember? You donât have to thank me.â
You walked over to his desk and set down both the spoon and medicine bottle on its surface, sparing him one last look up and down before fiddling with the device around your wrist, opening up a portal. You looked at him one last time before swinging back into your dimension.
âGood night, Miguel.â
And just like that, you were gone. His room was once again cold, devoid of your warmth, and he was once again alone.
Miguel let himself fall back onto his bed. Limbs heavy, heart heavier.
He shut his eyes, and just as he always did whenever he let himself drift off into a rare slumber, he dreamt of Gabi.
And he dreamt of you.
translations. please note that i do not speak spanish! i found these translations and words using the internet. if there are any errors, please please let me know! <3
Dios (God) , Perdóname (Forgive me) , querida (beloved or darling) , Te decepcioné (I let you down) , lo siento mucho (I am so sorry) , cariño (darling, dear, or honey)
#writing of mine.#hall of fame!#this is what happens when youâve seen one too many sad edits manâŠ#miguel oâhara#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel oâhara x fem!reader#miguel oâhara x female!reader#miguel oâhara x you#miguel oâhara x y/n#miguel oâhara angst#miguel oâhara fluff#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara x reader angst#miguel oâhara x reader fluff#miguel oâhara x reader smut#miguel oâhara fanfiction#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel oâhara fic#miguel oâhara imagine#miguel oâhara one shot#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman 2099 spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#satsv#across the spiderverse#atsv#spiderverse#sony spiderverse
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