#some of this is problems with myself which i do work on and i work on them hard. i don't want to be like that

[smugblueenby69]

THIS!!!

THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!!

So often I find myself appreciating Harrow’s depiction of her hallucinations and other mental illnesses because like fuck!! me too!!

And its not used as a scare tactic. Its not used as a once off thing that was magically foxed in which then made Harrow smarter and more brilliant, allowing her “true potential” to shine through after years of supposed adversity because of it! No!! She’s brilliant, but damnit she’s got problems! And she knows exactly how to navigate through said problems! She navigates some things better and some things worse because of these problems! And they don’t just go away when the plot gets convenient either. She just fucking has it, and has to live with it, and we all get to watch and understand it, without the bullshit fear factor movies wanna feed us!

Like I’m sorry that me seeing faces and bugs and shadows in the corners of my eyes is apparently freaky, news worthy material to you hollywood writers, but shit exists! It does, and no amount of horror content you make is going to rewrite the reality that people just exist with it. We go through day to day life, and we deal with it! On good days and bad days, life goes on.

I will also say tho that this post made me realize this is why I’m so much more perceptive than others around me 💀💀

Like yeah I have ADHD and Autism too, but yeah no I wouldn’t see all the little shit I do if it weren’t for the fact that my brain and eyes are always working overtime to triple check the reality around me

I feel like The Locked Tomb series has opened my eyes a lot more than I expected it to on my own funky brain issues and idk how to feel about it sometimes lmao

I could just be sitting here vibing and get IMMEDIATELY sucker punched with the reminder on exactly WHY Harrow is my highest kin

I am forever grateful for the balanced way Harrow’s psychosis is displayed. She is a rational person. She is able to evaluate data as sharply as anyone else. Maybe even more sharply than anyone else. She just isn’t sure if the data she is evaluating is all accurate. She reads as someone who has long since adjusted to this self-doubt about reality, and possibly as someone who’s intelligence was honed specifically by the process of needing to run every observation through rationality checks. It makes her weird, socially, but it also makes her very good at processing and deduction.

[pforestsims]

Trait Chemistry Mod edit

! another important update ( 5 Nov 2024 )

Everybody who downloaded my updated (1 Nov 2024) edit of Trait-based TO Chemistry Mod , based on a mod by Atomtanned , based on a chemistry mod by Dill. I overlooked a few things so it still wasn't working properly, @episims has helped me fix it /again/. Thanks, Epi.

If you use this mod, please re-download!

Download: SFS | BOX

*Correct file has 'Update2' in the name!

In this latest edit I decided to remove One True Hobby checks, so only actual hobby enthusiasm points can trigger TOs.

A few words to anyone who'd like to make their own edit of the chemistry mod under the cut:

Have in mind that Dill (at the time of writing this) haven't updated their mod and it still contains quite a few issues, style TO doesn't work, Alien genetics do not trigger alien TO, and there are a few other less serious things like cologne or hats triggering TO's they shouldn't trigger. Any edit of that mod inherits the bugs and ppl editing it should mention having it fixed.

So if you'd like to adjust a trait-based chemistry mod to match your own needs, there are other, cleaner mods for you to choose from. There's trait-based chemistry mod by @curiousb , Fran provided detailed documentation so if I was to do an edit for myself now, I'd pick that one. And there's Epi's TO chemistry mod, not fully trait-based but it has a bit of trait functionality added.

The problem is, chemistry mods have lots of features and testing it is a hassle. I admit I didn't do a great job testing my mod edit - but since I noticed my edit doesn't work as supposed to, I tried to track down all the problems and Epi came to the rescue. I had to include modified perfume BHAV, which might cause temporary flower effects for some Sims (only once) but it was necessary to fix the cologne issue.

As far as I know, this chemistry mod edit by @ramblinsims (also based on Atomtanned's edit of Dill's mod) works (almost) fine, they've fixed all the known issues aside from the Cologne triggering TO that it has been replaced with (but they are aware of it and intend to fix it).

[lucy90712]

We need angsty Kenan Yildiz storys!!

"Babe are you going to my match later?" Kenan asked 

"No I'm sorry I can't make it I have work until 5 then I'm going to the library to finish that group project that's due next week" I explained 

"You never come to my matches anymore" Kenan whined 

"I know and I'm sorry but after this project is done I should be able to come to a few more as long as they are after my shift" I said 

"I just miss having you there" he said clearly upset with me 

~~~~~~~~~~

"Kenan can you swing by the store on your way home we need a few things and I won't have time between classes and work to go" I said 

"Are you sure you don't have time I'm really busy today" he said 

"I mean I don't really have time" I said 

"I'll find a way to repay you if you can find a way to make it to the store" he said 

"I guess I can I'll have to take all the stuff to work though" I said 

"That works see you later love" he said running out the door 

~~~~~~~~~~

"What is it babe I've got training" Kenan said through the phone when he finally picked up

"Can you drive me to campus after you finish training my car won't start and I've already missed one class but I can't miss this afternoon as I have an exam" I said still stressed about the situation 

"Can't you call an Uber or get the bus?" He asked 

"The buses don't run from here you know that or I wouldn't have a car and an Uber is a lot of money we live quite far from campus" I said

"I'll send you the money whatever it is but I've got to go" he said hanging up 

~~~~~~~~~~

The tension between me and Kenan has been building up for weeks if not months. He's had a long and hard summer with losing in the euros with turkey and then pre season at Juventus and I've been as busy as ever. I wasn't able to go to much of the euros in fact I was only there for two days to watch one game as that's all I could afford in terms of the cost of going and losing out on money by not working. My parents are not well off at all so I have to pay every cent towards my education and my life in general so I have to work hard to survive. I'm lucky that I love with Kenan now but still I help him pay the bills as I refuse to live there for free as that wasn't how I was raised. 

I'll admit that I'm not home much but that's because when I'm not in classes I'm either studying in the library or working as that's the only way I'm going to get anywhere in life. My work ethic has been instilled in me since I was a child and I pride myself on how hard I work even if it means I'm not home much. This is Kenan's biggest problem with me as he wants me to be home when he gets home and to come to his matches but I can't and he knows why but still sometimes he gets mad at me. Kenan's schedule isn't anywhere near as packed as mine but still I find myself doing a lot for him which is my biggest grievance with him. It just feels like he's never willing to help me out even in the slightest it just seems to always inconvenience him in some way. That bugs me as I don't ask for much but sometimes I just need some support and he never seems to offer it. 

Today has been a particularly stressful day I left before the sun had fully risen and came back after it had gone down. I've had exams most of the day and then a closing shift at the store I work at so it's been a long day. My long day meant I missed Kenan's champions league game which he really wanted me to go to but I did tell him I wouldn't be able to make it. He was supposed to pick up a package before his game and take my car to get fixed but when I get back my car was still in the driveway and there was no package either instead Kenan was just laying on the sofa on his phone. 

"Where have you been?" Kenan asked 

"At school and at work like I said I would be why is my car still in the drive and where is that package?" I asked 

"I got busy so I didn't have time before the match" he said 

"Damn it Kenan can't you do anything to help me out" I yelled finally letting the tension boil over 

"Well your never here so what am I even doing helping you if never get to see you the boys keep asking me if we've broken up as you are never around" he yelled back 

"Look I'm sorry I can't be there every match but my education is important to me and to be able to continue with that I have to work you know my parents can't help me so I'm on my own I'm trying my best and if that's not good enough for you then maybe I'm not good enough for you" I said 

"Well maybe you aren't good enough" he snapped 

"You have to be kidding me Kenan you'd be a mess without me even with everything I have going on I still do so much for you while you'd barely help hold me up if I was falling" I said 

"Then maybe we aren't right for each other I don't need a girlfriend who needs me to hold her hand through everything" he said

"Fine then I'll go" I said 

I didn't know where I was going but I knew I needed to go so I grabbed my keys and slammed the door on my way out. It was dark and I couldn't see much of what was around me but I know the area well enough to roughly where I'm going. I just kept walking taking lefts and rights where I felt like it which is when I noticed someone walking behind me which isn't abnormal but my instinct told me that something wasn't right. To be sure I took a few quick turns only to see the guy still behind me but that could just be a coincidence so then I sped up hoping that would help me lose him but he sped up too. 

That's when I started jogging but that didn't help either which is when the panic sets in and I don't know what to do. The first thing that comes to my mind is to call Kenan but after our argument I don't know if he'll care enough to answer or come help me. I thought about my other options but none of them were going to help me or get to me in time so I had to swallow my pride call Kenan.

Please pick up. Pick up. Come on Kenan for once please just help me. 

"What y/n" he answered 

"I'm being followed I've tried to lose the guy but he's still following me now I'm running but he's running after me please Kenan help me" I said panicking 

"Where are you?" He asked 

"I'll send you my location" I said 

"I'll be there as soon as I can just keep going" he said 

I did exactly as he told me and kept running until I saw a car speeding in my direction which I knew instantly was Kenan. He must've seen me as he stopped the car just in front of me and hopped out. I ran straight towards him and he stopped me by pulling me into a hug and holding me tightly to his chest while I caught my breath. He yelled at the guy who was following me but I didn't hear a word he said I was still panicking and trying to calm down. 

"It's ok you're ok I'm here now" he said 

"Thank you for saving me I was so scared" I said 

"I would never leave you to be hurt by anyone else and I'm sorry for our fight earlier you're right I know you work hard and I could do more to help you" he apologised 

"I'm sorry for what I said too I know I should support you more than I do but even when I'm not at matches I'm thinking about you and the team" I said 

"I have an idea that might make things better and I know you'll try and fight me on it but I think it will make both of our lives so much better" he said 

"What is it?" I asked 

"You quit your job and I'll pay for your tuition and you don't have to give me anything towards the bills that way you can focus on school entirely and you'll have more time to come to some of my games" he suggested 

"Actually if you are really serious and you wouldn't mind then I'm happy to go along with that plan" I said 

"Then it's sorted and I'm sorry I wish things didn't have to get to this point for us to come up with a solution but I'm happy you're ok" he said 

He kissed me then we got in the car and went back home where Kenan helped me write my resignation email for my job and he got me a ticket for their next home game. Weirdly I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders straight away knowing I'd get to see Kenan more and I wouldn't have to stretch myself so thin that I could break at any point. 

[thealogie]

Gotta preface it with ‘I’m not from the US, so obviously don’t understand lots about how election results affect everyday life of people living there’. Also, if I suddenly, still being myself, became a US citizen with a right to vote, I can’t imagine voting for Trump. Saying all that, I don’t think labelling half of the country, tens of millions of people, genuinely evil is very productive or even mentally honest.

I am from the part of the world, which suffered from both republican and democrat US administrations, and lately most of the geopolitical games resulting in tons of blood, have been played, obviously, by democrats. I have to say that I find their utter hypocrisy deeply disgusting. At least your republicans, how I see it, don’t even mask being monsters, they say it like it is. When two negotiating sides state their goals outright, it is possible to come to an agreement at least marginally better than when one side is always being two(3,4,5)-faced, making a point to wrap their actual goals (if they even know them) in pretty words about democracy while double-crossing their negotiation partner even before the ink has dried.

I know that you’re from Iran and are aware of how deeply destructive US foreign policies can be, increasingly so since the start of this century. With one caveat that Trump seems to be especially hostile to Iran, and a democrat would’ve been marginally better when it comes to the US policy regarding Iran. It’s not the same for all parts of the world though, so we might not all be unbiased observers here.

I know that foreign policy doesn’t decide US elections, I only wrote this longwinded nonsense to say that maybe there are solid reasons for half of the US to prefer Trump and reject the democrats, like for the rest of the world there are reasons for either. Economic, political, whatever. Maybe liberals should look into these reasons before dismissing millions of people as genuinely evil, like Hillary did in her time. Idk about you, but when she called half of the country ‘deplorables’ or whatever, no one I know and no one I read (not from US) felt sympathetic. It just sounded incredibly entitled and delusional, and plain dumb. And it looks like since Hillary democrats haven’t learned or even attempted to learn anything, it’s still ‘half of our nation is broken and evil and we can’t do anything about it’. But it’s not how people work, in my opinion. Yes, they might not care about minorities first, they might care about themselves first, but doesn’t it mean that politicians should identify their problems and offer solutions? Isn’t it how it works? Dehumanazing Trump supporters will only radicalize them more, isn’t it what in fact happened, and how it always works with people in general?

Idk about life inside the US, like I said, but how I see it, the only ones to blame here are democrats and liberals in general. If people in the world, and I’m sure inside the US, will see that they finally start addressing the problems instead of hiding behind empty rhetoric, if the level of hypocrisy and delusional entitlement decreases at least to some degree, the support for right-wing populists will also decrease, I’m sure of it. Because most people are not ‘genuinely evil’, but they become embittered and cruel when their concerns are continuously dismissed, things start to fester resulting in ugly political outcomes. I mean, I know you know all this, sorry for being so boring and longwinded. It’s just that I usually like your takes (I came for MASH and stayed for the neighbors as well), including political ones, but here I got a bit of a whiplash, sorry.

I appreciate this thoughtful note. You don’t have to like my takes for us to be on friendly terms. And to be clear I do forever and always blame democrats and liberals for not energizing the people who agree with them.

But as you say you don’t live here and so there’s no way for me to convey to you without asking you to spend months reading right wing political accounts here and talking to people here that a sizable number of the people who support this man are genuinely bad people and want me and people like me out of this country.

This comes from hundreds of personal encounters over the past 8 years and spending the past three months reading dozens and dozens of pieces of reporting that are like “I went to talk to voters in a small town, here’s what they had to say.” And the things you hear are: purge this country of immigrants, make America a dominating force in the world again, get us back to traditional values where women are popping out babies…oh yeah and also the economy would be better under him.

Like idk what you want me to call sexist, homophobic, white supremacists but I think they are evil. And I think it used to be that the Republican Party was more polite about all of these beliefs so I could understand people being disaffected and voting for them for reasons other than hating other humans but now we’re just saying the quiet part out loud and there’s no plausible deniability

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[captain-astors]

Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)

[essektheylyss]

I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.

[dsntwrk]

help me i've gotten so deep into the steddie rabbit hole i haven't gotten this stuck on something since destiel

this really isn't good for my health

THESE ARE THE FICS THAT I SUBSCRIBED TO / LIKED READING (I'VE BASICALLY READ 1/5 WORTH OF STEDDIE FICS COMPARED TO DESTIEL FICS - I GOT INTO DESTIEL 4 YRS AGO, I ONLY STARTED READING STEDDIE FICS SOME TIME LAST MONTH WTF)

tbf, i have taken breaks from destiel to read other fandoms/fics so, ig the timing works out? if you think about it?

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

btw!! there's free virtual tours of all 16 spanish state museums both in english and spanish if you are interested, you can access all through here :)

[autumnhobbit]

would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist

[petrow1tch]

They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands

[purpurussy]

.

[asterdeer]

i can't speak for every mentally ill person but i don't think "don't self-deprecate! it makes everyone around you feel bad :(((" is necessarily the all-encompassing bandaid slam-dunk you think it is.

[your--isgayrights]

neuroscience degree? that's so cool !!

<3333 yesss i also think neuroscience is cool. I'm glad I went into undergrad because I think I came away from it with like a good mental mechanical model of how most brain stuff (that I care about) works. Which is fun because like... neurons teehee. And also just means like I love arguing with psychologists now i guess lol.

tbh I'm having a bit of trouble translating it into a career rn though, partially because i gained a lot of interest in other research fields through my minor and partially because navigating internships and references around some of my social dysphoria issues was like harder for me than I was noticing at the time in retrospect. Now that I'm graduated I'm trying to tie up some loose ends like getting my deadname off my financial statements and stuff (going to the bank today lol.)

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option