#system we live under treats her as a positive thing so she gets positive reinforcement at work which only makes her more anxious 😭 i gotta

[bunnyboy-juice]

awawawawawawa

[bellaaldamas]

Ok, since you seem to hate the Tangled series almost as much as I do (although I still think I'm hater number one of this stupid show), I have to ask, are you still able to enjoy the Tangled movie and if yes, how? I've been trying for years to forget about it and treating it as not canon, but I'm still always reminded of it and told that I have to count it as canon and that I'm awful for hating it. This is so hard for me because Tangled was one of my favorite movies and my favorite love story.

The one reason I might not quite live up to the title of the biggest hater of this character assassinating, coping "feminism" representing train-wreck is because I quit it, I believe, midway into season 2. I was fortunate to not make it as far as the episode where Rapunzel tries to alter Flynn's personality with time travel. Because evidently, from a witty, independently thinking young woman who wasn't afraid to speak her mind in the most vulnerable and stressful situations the series turned her into a pseudo-progressive stereotype of a woman whose idea of "empowerment" is to be in the position of control and dominance. The position that would give her the power to remove other person's autonomy and agency and alter their thought process with manipulation. Thus assuming the role of Gothel (who was rightly and unequivocally shown as the abuser in the OG movie) or, as is the case with most of the episodes of the series that I did see, enabling and endorsing Cassandra fulfilling that role.

Except when Cassandra, a young, good looking, sword wielding "girlboss" was doing the same things as Gothel (even if on a smaller scale), playing the "I know best" card whenever things did not go her way, pushing boundaries of both Rapunzel and Flynn, inserting her unsolicited, manipulative input regarding their relationship that she knew nothing about and was not knowledgeable on the context of it is "feminist and "progressive". According to modern and "aware" Disney, only older women can be abusers; young girlbosses could never.

Cassandra started ignoring boundaries and gaslighting Rapunzel and Flynn, aiding toxicity and lies into their relationship from the very first episode when she accused Flynn/Eugene of being "selfish" for wanting to marry Rapunzel. When a man wants an equal, responsible life long commitment with a woman he considers his partner and whose agency he once literally died for this is "not feminist" and means an automatic loss of freedom - but only for a woman. A man gets to enjoy the idea of marriage and becoming a husband whilst for a woman marriage has to be inextricably associated with her signing up for being a one dimensional, superficial, suppressed doormat with no interests and ambitions of her own.

Progressive Disney and Cassandra said so and they "know best". After all, women are too "fragile", "gullible" and "naive" to know their own minds and need the all knowing society and big corporations to teach them how to be feminist. Where did we hear this rhetoric before?

Right, from Gothel, whom the original Tangled - again - framed clearly as an abuser and manipulator.

Original movie challenged the system of abuse and oppression women experience whereas the series reinforces it but does it under the guise of feminism. In actuality it is repackaging the most ancient patriarchal ideas: that a woman becomes trapped in a marriage and turns into a property of her husband, unable to assert herself any longer, have fulfillment and desires of her own. Instead of challenging this patriarchal notion Disney goes on to reinforce it using Rapunzel and Cassandra as it's mouth-pieces.

This is, as mentioned above, a "coping feminism", not an actual feminism. Instead of breaking the stereotype that a woman loses herself and her autonomy when she gets married Disney has Rapunzel buy into this stereotype and equate marriage with a life long prison. Having daytime nightmares not about her actual imprisonment in the tower by Gothel for 18 years (which would have been a natural psychological reaction in-universe and an opportunity for Disney to explore the subject of PTSD) but about marrying Flynn/Eugene. The series narrative frames it so that in Rapunzel's mind marriage and forced isolation and removal of autonomy are one and the same.

Therefore, in order to escape her fear imposed by this patriarchal "marriage is a prison for women" stereotype Disney not only doesn't have Rapunzel confront it and talk it over with Flynn and move on from this flawed thinking but encourages this stereotype through Cassandra.

Hence why we got an open mockery of one of the most powerful moments in the original Tangled movie canon: the campfire scene. In the series said scene received (as I mentioned before in my break down post) a "reprise" in the form of Flynn/Eugene once again opening up about some of his most traumatic experiences of growing up as an orphan to who he thinks is Rapunzel. In the OG movie Rapunzel returned his genuine effort and willingness to listen to her own experiences with isolation and abuse ("that's why I never left...") and made it clear she was not only ready but wanted to listen to Flynn's "sob story", even when he was reluctant to share it.

But the new, "progressive" sequel of Rapunzel's story does not allow for equal communication between a man and a woman (modern Disney does not believe women can handle it).

Instead, the series implements a "twist" where it is revealed that Hans was evil all along and tricked "stupid and clueless" Anna so easily because teenage girls are servants to their hormones and can't think clearly when in love and Disney is so progressive and feminist for finally realizing it Flynn/Eugene had been talking to a "frog" (Pascal) all along instead of Rapunzel. The "pouring my heart out to a frog" was an actual punchline for a joke.

A scene that had a profound meaning and showcased equal communication in the original film was warped into a cheap comedic relief moment with zero depth and an even more offensive follow up when Flynn realized the real Rapunzel had lied to him and her parents and ran away from the castle. Of course this behavior is enabled by Cassandra, the ultimate avatar of the "progressive modern Disney".

Instead of Cassandra being a complex well developed character who would urge Rapunzel to think, analyze and rise above stereotypes about woman's role in a spousal relationship (which would have perfectly complemented Rapunzel's arc in the OG film where her analytical thinking was so acute she would chart stars and make observations despite the confinement of her tower that she never left) Cassandra is perpetuating and playing into Rapunzel's misplaced view of marriage and aids her in lying to and distancing herself from Flynn.

This is a prime example of "coping feminism": instead of challenging the system the narrative - and Cassandra - make Rapunzel conform to it and avoid the issue rather than tackling it head on.

And all that in the very first episode of this insulting product of Disney's faux progressive pandering. It was only natural that what followed next was a further assassination of Rapunzel and Flynn's characters individually and as a couple, reduction of Flynn to a useless comedic relief sidekick (because again, progressive media and modern Disney do not believe women have enough emotional intelligence to communicate with men on equal footing therefore men have to be robbed of any competence) and the ultimate "feminist twist" in the climax. Where Disney copied and pasted the arguments from victim blaming "progressives" about how original movie Rapunzel was "weak" for not cutting off her hair on her own.

In the series, thus, Rapunzel does cut it off on her own whilst Flynn's sacrifice is not only nullified but rendered useless, just like himself (he remains incapacitated throughout the entire scene). Cherry on top is that Rapunzel does this not for herself or him but chiefly for Cassandra - who spent the whole series violating her and Flynn's autonomy. But that's acceptable, progressive and good because Cassandra "knows best".

This was Disney's ultimate moment of "coping feminism". Very deliberately, they validated the "Rapunzel should have cut off her hair on her own to prove she is strong" rhetoric. Which not only places responsibility for escaping abuse on a victim but, from the standpoint of psychology and media criticism, feeds into the idea that if a victim can't leave an abusive situation they are "not trying hard enough and deserve what they get".

Finally, from the standpoint of feminist analysis and representation of women in popular media, this notion forces women to act within the system of abuse and oppression (but in a "badass", "girlboss" manner) instead of challenging it.

Original movie did challenge this system: instead of having Rapunzel accept the conditions imposed by her abuser Gothel (they make a deal that benefits Gothel where Rapunzel pleads to be allowed to heal Flynn at the expense of her freedom) or cut off her hair within those conditions (Gothel wants Rapunzel's hair for her selfish needs, Rapunzel cuts it off, abuser's needs are not met but remain the focus of the situation/resolution of the situation) Rapunzel and Flynn both reclaim the narrative.

Rapunzel reclaims the narrative by bonding with first the thugs from the pub (despite their unconventional and, on a surface level, frightening exterior and outcast status in the society) and then Flynn. As well as by eventually choosing to use not the blackmail, trickery or frying pan wielding antics (those "girlboss" attributes only ever got her and Flynn in trouble and delayed Rapunzel's goal to see the lanterns) but communication, empathy and partnership. That's the entire reason why the thugs were able to break Flynn out of jail and he was able to get to the tower in time: because of the situation Rapunzel created through learning and breaking stereotypes. Be it stereotypes imposed by the society (the thugs cannot be trusted because they are a marginalized and ostracized - "malicious, mean and scary" - underprivileged group, Flynn is a lowly orphaned thief who will use and take advantage of someone as "naive" and inexperienced as Rapunzel) or those imposed by Gothel (people are inherently dangerous, Rapunzel is "too weak to handle herself" and the rest is the same as the societal stereotypes described in previous parentheses because Gothel's character represented them).

In the series Rapunzel learns exactly nothing: she conforms to the very same stereotypes the original movie challenged.

Worse of all is that the existence of the series cannot be ignored - and this is where your perfectly valid questions comes into play. The series IS canon because it is set in the same universe and timeline as the OG movie's ending and precedes the wedding short.

One can think what they will about the Disney Live Action remakes. Some of them are good and honor the original story and romance (like the Live Action Little Mermaid), others are as much a pandering pseudo-feminist pieces suppressing woman's romantic agency as the Tangled series (LA Mulan). But unlike the series none of the remakes, competent or not, affects the original canon. Remakes exist as add-ons to said canon and whether or not to engage with them or acknowledge them at all is up to a consumer. Same thing cannot be done with the Tangled series because they are presented as the extension of the OG movie canon.

Therefore, my ability to enjoy the original film was severely diminished. I cannot call Tangled my favourite Disney princess movie (this title is shared by The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Mulan and Aladdin) but the original Rapunzel and Flynn/Eugene is undeniably one of the healthiest Disney romantic couples. On the contrary, the series Rapunzel and Flynn/Eugene is one of the most unhealthy relationships in animated media in general because of how they're written.

But - as responsible adults we have to recognize that neither Disney nor any other popular media, no matter how much some of it might speak to us personally or how well crafted it might occasionally be, is a factory of happiness and joy. This is business through and through and pandering to trends is something Disney and other big companies have been doing since the dawn of time. The problem is that at this point said pandering goes beyond the unavoidable conformism to modern culture climate and promotes dangerous ideas under the guise of progressiveness. Not to mention the in-universe plot related retcons that have to happen in order for such products like the Tangled series to even exist.

If we remain aware that Rapunzel, Flynn and other characters do not actually exist, have agency or any real choices beyond the powerful Disney executives' will and whims it becomes easier to recognize some developments are problematic and there is nothing we, consumers, can do about it. Other than to still enjoy the product in it's more quality and well written form by only interacting with the original movie.

We cannot control media but we can and should control our experience with it and vote with our remote and our wallet.

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

More therapy thoughts part 1/?

Behavior Theory Frameworks/Conditioning and What the fuck does Master Chief talk about in therapy?

Ramblings below - like a lot, like I spent too much time writing this and you should not read this

Behavioral Theory could work well as a framework with rehabilitating Spartan IIs if the case worker focused on Operant Conditioning Theory and Cognitive Social Learning Theory, which I talked about in this ask because I think I’m funny and this blog is an archive of me applying human behavior theories to video games.

Spartans have always been taught the mission comes first! Always! The 2s are indoctrinated from age 6-14 and then have that reinforced the rest of their lives. From the beginning they are taught to push themselves to the limits, earn their food by winning, form bonds with teammates but be ready to sacrifice them for the mission. The whole lives wasted vs spent conversation between John and Mendez after the augmentation surgery!

What the UNSC/ONI wants comes before their lives, the lives of other soldiers, civilians, AI etc. This constant conditioning of expectations and rewards has created the norms cemented in their minds. This becomes standard operating procedure.

Spartans are also an entirely separated social group, other people have made really great posts on how they are Othered and have their own way of communicating with body language. ODSTs hate Spartans, marines see them as cyborgs or saviors, and while they’re allies, Spartans are not seen or treated as human, by literally everyone. They are a means to an end, with the original goal being to maintain the UNSC’s position of power and crush the insurrectionists in the outer colonies, but uh oh Aliens!

Maybe the 2s aren’t as expendable as the 3s but the mindset and reinforcement of “mission first, people second” being repeated their entire lives is going to stick. So is the constant mistreatment and abuse from their fellow soldiers and handlers. 

Addressing the cognitive distortions that come from their upbringing while also balancing the fact that Spartans are so fundamentally different from the way they developed to survive would be so much work, especially considering how much information on them is given to their therapist.  The main distortion I would apply is minimization, making large problems small and not properly dealing with them, and specifically for John, personification, accepting blame for negative events without sufficient evidence. 

Like these are grown ass super soldiers who can kill you in less than a second and calculate the amount of gravity in a room on the fly but then also can flounder when trying to comfort civilians or make small talk because their experiences and values are so alien to adults who had more developmentally “normal” lives. 

Literally applying therapy to Spartans would be like, what was done to you was wrong, the ends do not justify the means, you were children and the adults in your life failed to protect you. You are a human person who is fallible and did the best you could with what you had. And the Spartan would say, “sounds fake but okay, can I pass my psych eval and go back to war now please?”

Jumping back to Behavior Theory

Different approaches to therapy under the Behavior Theory umbrella help modify negative behaviors with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy that teach individuals adaptive coping like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, cognitive distortions, and interpersonal communication. And that’s just one framework under the umbrella of human behavior theories.

Social work therapy is different from psych as it approaches individuals with heavily researched, evidence-based theories and frameworks in a holistic viewing of person-in-environment, instead of a strong focus on internal psychology. 

Social work looks at all the interacting systems, environment, history, and internal and external factors affecting an individual. One of the most useful frameworks is the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Frameworks (BPSS) when helping a client. It helps with identifying all the intersecting factors, both risk and protective, that shapes a client’s lived experiences. The most important thing to remember is that the individual is an expert in their own life, they know their experiences best.

The hardest part is applying this to Spartans because they Are So Fucked, their lived experiences, their environments and systems and institutions interacting with them, and the amount of their personal information that is probably so classified.

BPSS is a tool to help social workers assess individuals and their situations by collecting info that is related to the presenting issues and current and past circumstances. Info like medical history, hospitalizations, substance abuse, mental illness, personal relationships, family history and background, culture and norms, education, legal history, spirituality and participation etc. is all under this framework. 

For Spartan 2s most of this info is lost or classified and helping someone who has repressed every negative emotion they've had for the sake of the mission would be so much to unpack but that’s also why you’re reading the mad ramblings over an over caffeinated nerd on the internet.

Life Course Theory which looks at developmental milestones and the individual’s experiences versus the socially expected markers, how do you apply that to children who were taken and have lived such different lives? 

While early adolescence is when “normal” development of thoughts of self and identity take place alongside the physical changes of puberty, Spartans were being turned into emotionless calculating weapons. Sorry John, no forming a sense of identity and peer bonds for you, go kill that Watts guy who betrayed us and joined the insurrectionists. 

And now that I’ve gone this insane and opened 2 whole textbooks up, let’s get to Master Chief thoughts. If you’ve read this far thank you, I swear I’m normal, 2020 has just been a weird year. 

Why the fuck did I think I could write a therapy fic on a guy with 20 minutes of actual dialogue across almost 2 decades of games?

I make fun of him and call him a himbo, but he’s smart, he knows he’s being used and there is resentment there that’s been building for years. 

There’s also decades of trauma and combat experience, physical, and emotional abuse, the lack of a support network,  lack of an identity, the biological factors and aftermath of the augmentations and injuries he’s received, a whole lot of grief and self-inflicted guilt. 

The loss of a third of his peer group with the augmentation surgery, Sam’s death, the loss of Reach (the only place he’s considered home), Keyes, the Pillar of Autumn crew, Miranda Keyes, Johnson, Cortana. He cares about the marines who fight with him!!!

He just stands there and takes it and rarely snaps, and even then it’s just small cracks on the surface with fissures running deep. The few details I will pull from Halo 5 are Blue Team’s reactions to John pushing himself so hard from the beginning of the game, and the literal crack in his armor from the fight with Locke. Like dude.  

John’s a leader and will get the mission done but he tugs on the leash. He’s earned enough of a reputation and uses it to get his way.

Halo 2’s “Permission to leave the station” with Mr. “I’m going to hand deliver a bomb to the fusion reactor of a covenant supercarrier and hope my friends catch me”. 

Halo 4 is when we see him say no to a superior officer and then 5 is him going AWOL. Palmer literally points out that no one is going to stop him.

Halo 5 kills me for many reasons but John bringing up Halsey and what she did to him and also pointing out that he knows Halo 5 Cortana is trying to manipulate him with psychological tactics hurts. 

He knows what’s been done to him!

I cannot remember which book it was but John isn’t used to working alone. He literally takes fire because he was expecting someone to have his back! 

He’s lost without Cortana! She was in his brain! Y’all! I played Halo Combat Evolved on the original xbox when I was like 8 and I knew these two were meant to be together. From the moment they met they had great chemistry and relied on each other! Cortana literally goes after people who have it out for John! John wants her approval and shows off for her in one of the books. 

I’ve already written too much here but like all of the games have John showing off for Cortana, making dry jokes, jumping out of things he shouldn’t. 

The whole point of this rambling is to try and get my thoughts about how to approach John’s character under control.

And that’s the thing. He’s lost control. He’s lost people, he’s losing his position and being phased out as an aging spartan, a relic. John’s used to following orders and making some decisions on the battlefield but it was always short term.

He has no identity beyond being a weapon. Complete the mission, clear the LZ, get put in cryo. Rinse, repeat. 

The timeline of the games are what I'm most familiar with but with the comics and books too it’s one long run from Halo 2 to Halo 4. Cairo station to the Dreadnought to the crash landing to Forward Unto Dawn to Requiem to “The Didact is Dead but not really but we’ll deal with him off-screen”.

I know Hood apparently gave John R&R orders before Halo 5 that he ignored and kept running himself into the ground. This is a man who has to keep moving and keep being useful. 

I imagine him giving in and seeking help as a last resort to fix any problems he has with performing his duties rather than helping himself be healthier. 

Any professional he sees is going to have to approach him like they’re approaching a self sacrificing feral cat, with lunch meat and quiet. This man needs to have his support network closer, set up long term goals, and do some serious, and most likely incredibly painful, self reflection on where he’s come from and where he wants to go. Get him out of that tin can and into therapy. I don’t have a nice neat ending because this was a ramble and also therapy is not neat and tidy. Thanks for reading my words about mr halo

[belonglab]

Gaslighting: A Tool of Oppression and Exclusion

by Alisha Patel, Communications & Research Fellow at GenLead|BelongLab

February 2, 2021

“I don’t see color.” This is one of the most common phrases people will use to defend themselves against accusations of racism. It isn’t the best, but at least it’s not explicitly racist, right? In a culture where calling out institutional and systemic racism feels like an ongoing battle that’s fought tiny steps at a time, that phrase feels like an adequate place to start. However, this phrase is actually a form of racial gaslighting, and its acceptance only perpetuates stereotypes and the racism we are trying to fight.

Gaslighting in general is a form of manipulation and psychological abuse where the perpetrator convinces the victim that they are imagining or overreacting to abuse. Over time, this can solidify the perpetrator’s position of power over the victim, turning it into an ongoing cycle of abuse. The effects of gaslighting are extensive-- the victim will start to second guess themselves and their judgments. While this form of manipulation is often talked about with regard to personal relationships, it can additionally be used to to cloak bigotry like racism.

Racial Gaslighting

Racial gaslighting often is used to excuse microaggressions in all forms. It can invalidate someone’s experience of perceived racism by subtly denying their feelings and emotions, excusing implicit comments meant to demean or discredit them, or even excusing explicit attacks on them. Its effects are grave; it subtly reinforces and sustains racial and social hierarchies that inevitably hurt minority groups. Not only does racial gaslighting allow stereotypes to continue, but it also degrades the victim’s sense of self and teaches them to invalidate their own instincts and judgments.

For example, imagine if someone had experienced racism in the workplace and attempted to tell a fellow coworker about the incident; instead of empathizing, the coworker reassured the victim “it couldn’t possibly be racism,” “it is all in your head,” or “you’re too sensitive.” Statements like this place the perpetrator in a position of power and control under the guise of morality, while undermining the victim’s experience as lesser-than. In turn, the victim can develop feelings of anxiety and depression as they start believing they cannot trust themselves and cannot express their emotions outwardly. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Roberta Babb, racial gaslighting also, “overtly and covertly erodes a person’s sense of self, self-worth, agency and confidence.” Thus, racial gaslighting feeds internalized oppression and Imposter Syndrome.

Racial gaslighting is so common that it is sometimes difficult to tell when it is happening, and it can even be unconscious or unintentional. Normalized phrases like “I don’t see color” seem to mean well at first glance, but in actuality serve to invalidate the struggles of a minority group while erasing the group’s lived history. It tells the listener, quite unequivocally, “I am not racist. What you are perceiving as racism on my part cannot possibly be racism.” Phrases like these are un-nuanced and oversimplified takes that may have been accepted in the past, but as we learn more about deep and entrenched racism, we see they are outdated, insensitive, and quite frankly, racist.

This type of manipulation often is used by mainstream media and people in power, ingraining its use in our culture and further highlighting the power dynamics underpinning racial gaslighting. Think of Donald Trump and his response to protest movements through the past year: On one hand, he refused to condemn Neo-Nazi protestors, saying there were “fine people on both sides.” But he mischaracterized Black Lives Matter protests calling for an end to police brutality as thugs and threatened them with the National Guard, warning “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.” He then mischaracterized the white supremacist, violent insurrection he incited on January 6th as a march, declaring his love for the insurrectionists. According to Trump, white supremacists are allowed the benefit of the doubt and could possibly be good people at heart. Yet, those in support of black lives are automatically dangerous and should be perceived as a threat. With these statements, Donald Trump at once validates the platform of white supremacists while invalidating black lives in the United States and negating the idea that racism is a problem; he normalizes the presence of white supremacy while revealing the inability of the country to acknowledge its inherent racism and bigotry. Anyone witnessing photos and images of how the BLM protesters were treated versus how the white supremacist insurrectionists were treated at our Capitol can see that racial gaslighting has deeply permeated our country systemically and is a problem that outlives the Trump presidency.

Gender Gaslighting

Also problematic is gender gaslighting, where a woman may not feel comfortable voicing concerns about sexism because her concerns are automatically dismissed. Consider a woman -- let’s call her Jana -- who has been working for a company for many years and is very qualified for a promotion. Yet every time Jana expects to be promoted, a man is given the promotion instead, even though he has had less time at the company and is not as qualified. Jana may attempt to discuss this with her boss, but he insists it has nothing to do with her gender; he tells her she is overanalyzing the situation and being over-sensitive. While it is possible that Jana’s boss could be telling the truth, it is more likely that her gender is in fact playing a role in not receiving a promotion, as this pattern has repeated multiple times. However, Jana has learned that she does not have a space to speak up about this sexism, will likely be negatively judged for speaking up and thus have an even harder time getting that promotion, and therefore most likely will not attempt to speak up again. This is the same situation that is seen with racial gaslighting-- the cycle will continue for Jana, and her emotions may inevitably turn inwards, convincing her that she is not qualified for any promotion and deserves to be limited to her current level.

COVID-19 Gaslighting

We even see gaslighting around COVID-19. As a college student at a very urban university, the pandemic has shaken up every single aspect of college life. Though my school has adjusted as best as possible (we are tested twice a week and receive our results within 24 hours; most classes are online and if they aren’t, there are usually less than five people in-person, all socially-distanced; so on and so forth), interacting with other students and people my age really reveals the mindset around the pandemic.

As the pandemic has raged on, it feels as though people have accepted its presence, or stopped caring altogether. It’s a stark difference from the first lockdown in March, where it felt (at least for the most part) that everyone was on the same page. But now, instead of staying inside and mitigating the impacts of the pandemic, it feels as though it’s now a matter of working around the pandemic to do things we used to do. Those who are still staying inside have become more of the minority than the majority, and are sometimes gaslighted to feel overly paranoid for continuing to take the pandemic seriously. This gaslighting is clearly very harmful to society as a whole, as it simultaneously perpetuates coronavirus while undermining common sense and the empathy to care about the collective nation.

COVID gaslighting can exist on a small interpersonal level. Consider a situation where two friends want to get together, but one is insisting on following social distancing regulations while the other is suggesting to abandon them altogether. The one wanting to abandon social distancing may claim that they have both been isolating themselves since the beginning of the pandemic, and it is unlikely that they could infect each other. They may go on to call their friend overly paranoid of the virus and accuse them of not wanting to get together. Though this is not actually the case, the friend who was attempting to follow COVID regulations is made to be the villain, which is a common gaslighting mechanism.

Even worse, COVID gaslighting has been perpetuated by some people in power, who can afford to preach a careless and selfish mentality around COVID-19 because, even when they contract the virus, they have the money, power, and resources to combat it. Meanwhile, they continue to manipulate the American public into believing that COVID is not something to be taken seriously.Their followers adopt the same invincible mindset, but it is clear that they -- and most other average Americans -- are not in the same situation and do not have the same money and resources to combat COVID if needed. The situation is even worse for identity groups that have been historically oppressed.

Many Black and brown communities are disproportionately affected by COVID-19: African-Americans deaths are two times higher than would be expected for their population, and it is the same for Hispanics and Latinos. On the other hand, white deaths from COVID are “lower than their share of the population in 37 states.” These disparities result from institutionalized and systemic racism (fed by racial gaslighting) that has been snowballing since our country’s inception.

Combatting Racism by Contending with Gaslighting

It is in no way, shape, or form the victim’s responsibility to attempt to change their gaslighter’s behavior. Instead, it is important for us to create safe spaces for these victims to be heard and validated. Thus, putting a stop to gaslighting begins by looking inwardly at our own behavior and preconceived biases; particularly, if you find yourself recognizing some of the behaviors symptomatic of gaslighting, it may be wise to engage in self-introspection and attempt to accept some responsibility. Though some gaslighting may be done unintentionally or what you believed to be well-meaning, it clearly is still harmful and must be mitigated. To confront the biases that may underlie your possible gaslighting of others, you can also take this online test that examines and assesses internal biases that you may not have even noticed (it takes about 10-15 minutes). Attempt to challenge these internal biases, and pay attention to how they affect your interactions with others.

Additionally, be prepared and open to truly listen to and learn from other people and their experiences, and focus on increasing your awareness of others’ circumstances. These steps can begin the process of acknowledging gaslighter responsibility. By first starting on a personal scale, we can expand this introspection to a larger scale and begin holding the racist systems in our country accountable.

If you find yourself a victim of gaslighting, it is important to safeguard your mental health. This can be done by taking a step back from the situation and removing yourself from the environment to consider the hurtful behavior and resulting emotions. You can write down your thoughts to affirm your judgement as valid and for reference if necessary. It also can be helpful to talk with other members of your identity group and share experiences like this. Affirmation from others with similar circumstances can validate your experience of harmful gaslighting and remind you that you are not alone. This can help you to trust yourself more as well as recognize the gaslighting as it is happening.

In the moment gaslighting is occurring, it is important to call out the behavior publicly (when possible and safe to do so), showing the perpetrator and others in proximity that the behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Further (again, to the extent safe and not harmful), you can talk one-on-one with the perpetrator to discuss the behavior, making sure to describe the behavior and why it is harmful. Setting boundaries (e.g., taking a step back, removing yourself from the situation, as described above) will help to loosen any grip the negative environment or perpetrator may have on you.

As an ally, it is important to help support victims of racial gaslighting by helping to call out the unacceptable behavior, as well as creating a safe space for victims to express themselves and be heard and respected. Make sure that what you are doing is not self-indulgent or performative, but rather is truly helpful to the victim and in their self interest.

Combatting racism in a present day context is not an easy task -- it is extremely complicated and has far-reaching and entrenched roots in the United States. That said, the task should begin with dismantling the practices that perpetuate racism on interpersonal and societal scales. By recognizing racial gaslighting, it is possible to disrupt stereotypes and racial hierarchies, while also offering the historically oppressed, excluded, and marginalized a safe space to speak and be heard, which uncloaks hard truths from underneath imposed false narratives. Those who insist they don’t see color are not seeing people of color and their lived experiences.

Without seeing the hard truths, we are unable to address them.

[leaderoftheduckresistance]

The Many Long Reasons I Hate Riverdale Season 5 Episode 7

1) Military Propaganda

What the ever living hell is up with the military in this show? Who signed off on this? Is the US Military sponsoring these episodes? We have no idea what the hell The War™ is about. We have no clear understanding of what war Archie is fighting in, nor who they are fighting against; however, we are told to assume that the US army is the good guys because military=good. Every single character from the military this season is treated this way, as if the military is some holy organization capable of doing no wrong. And Archie rising to become a Sergeant in the army is some noble goal that we should be happy about for him. Someone is assumed to be a good person simply for being a veteran; they are described as an “us” to counter some supposed “them.” There is a massive delineation between who is considered “good” and who is considered “bad,” and it is purely based on which side of the war you are on. However, and I will repeat this, we do not know who the US is fighting against. This framing of the military is pure propaganda meant to illicit a positive view towards an organization that has not shown any sign of deserving that praise.

2) Riverdollars

WHAT THE EVER LIVING HELL IS THE DEAL WITH RIVERDOLLARS? I really need every single person reading this to understand that I hated every single moment of this plotline from beginning to end. They are creating a company town. In essence, a company town is a place where currency is controlled by a central body - ie. instead of using the traditional currency of the country, they have created a new currency that only applies to that one town. And instead of getting paychecks in legal tender, you get paid in the company’s private currency. It is a horribly exploitative business practice that essentially traps people within the town. Because if your paycheck is not legal tender, then when you leave, you are broke. You have absolutely zero usable money outside of that city. And within that town, you must buy from company stores, pay rent for your house to the company, get healthcare from your company, etc etc. You get the point. It is a system in which workers are subservient and dependent on the company for their very survival. Many historians have written about company towns as a modernization of slavery. They are awful. They are disgusting.

Unless you are in Riverdale. Then they are amazing. I have no idea why they chose this direction, but they have glorified company towns. They have framed it as Riverdale’s salvation. That is. disgusting. How dare you transform something that has exploited labor and workers for over a century (because company towns still exist) and making it into a happy little plotline about taking on the big guy. No. F*** you. Veronica has created a system in which she is the sole person in control of the economy; she has created a system in which people are dependent upon her currency. This is not an act of good faith. This is much worse than most things Hiram Lodge has done in this show. And to exploit your students, children, into becoming the main catalysts for this system only makes it worse. This is not a positive topic; you disgust me.

3) Education

Okay there is some legitimate educational theorists that argue that schools should teach students to be active members of their community. Scholars like James Beane and Michael Apple have written entire books arguing for the benefits of engaging students in the democratic process, and many of their examples involve lobbying and working with local governments to achieve desired results. There is legitimate educational theory that Riverdale could have delved into for their plotline here. BUT INSTEAD THEY DIDN’T. Every single democratic educator I have read (which by no means is the opinion of everyone) has agreed that the initiatives that students work towards must originate from their own views and desire to enact social change. In Riverdale, though, that is not how this class is being taught. Veronica came up with the initiative and the method by which they were going to accomplish their goal. Then they had the audacity to frame the students as bad people for participating in the initiative THAT VERONICA TOLD THEM TO TAKE PART IN. I feel like I need to stress this point: Veronica did not use them printing more money to teach them about economics. Instead, she shamed them and forced them to do PHYSICAL LABOR to atone for their sins of having independent thought. It is almost the direct opposite of any beneficial educational theory that exists; Riverdale is shaming students for displaying initiative and critical thought while reinforcing that the job is to just do what the teacher says. That is not education. That is recruiting a bunch of underage worker drones to fight in your war with your father. I will stress this again: Veronica is not helping Riverdale; she is simply instating herself as the new dictator. She is the bad guy in this plotline. And the concept that the show portrays this as good teaching brings me physical pain. I will repeat: This is not education. This is abusing your students. Don’t glorify this.

However, in Riverdale’s defense, this style of teaching does line up with the general teaching methods of poor, inner city, schools. Scholar Jean Anyon has written an essay about how inner-city schools teach children to respect authority and follow steps rather than critically think. That lines up with how Veronica is teaching her class. Do I think that was intended? No, but it is right.

Ya know what isn’t right? The racial demographics of Riverdale High. The US schooling system is intensely segregated (if you’re interested, Jonathan Kozol’s “The Shame of the Nation” covers the topic very well in my opinion), and if you were to have two cities right next to each other, one that is wealthy and affluent and another that is intensely poor, you would see a racial bent where, on average, at least 90% of students at Riverdale High would be Black or Hispanic. This has been a problem in Riverdale for years - most likely, Southside High should also have been predominately minorities - but coming after their multiple statements about a commitment to having POC in their show, it is absolutely shameful. How the HELL do you write a season about institutional poverty and education while perpetuating the myth that somehow white people are most affected. It is ignoring and silencing the very real social problem surrounding education in poor neighborhoods, and I would not be so upset about this IF IT WERE NOT THE CENTRAL THESIS TO THIS ENTIRE SEASON. It is awful. It is destructive.

4) Little Concluding Bit

I have more I could talk about here, like how the writers don’t seem to have any care for actual economic theory and how printing 10,000 more Riverdollars would not cause inflation. Or how running into a burning building in front of your students does not teach the right message. Or how firefighting training started with workout drills instead of, ya know, how to put out a fire. Or how the Serpents being minorities and still having the arc of “you think they’re bad but actually they’re good people” could actually have been an interesting commentary on how society views (primarily minority) students that become parts of gangs. But I have to stop somewhere. 

So let me conclude with this thought: this episode was my single least favorite episode of Riverdale ever. It is probably not their worst; that title probably goes to how poorly they handled trans people in Hedwig. But this one struck me personally. This episode glorifies exploitation of labor/workers, the US military, and provably destructive teaching practices while sweeping under the rug full histories of racial, social, and global inequality/tragedy. I want to look every single writer that touched this episode what the ever living f*** they thought they were doing here because what they actually did is intensely destructive. Sometimes you just perpetuate dangerous societal beliefs; oopsie daisy. 

[grahamparrish]

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[misterbitches]

wow so bare/bear (?) with me. i won’t tag this post with the name of it, but if anyone is interested in my thoughts feel free 

i never cared about 3 will be free because of the exact format it presented. i have critiqued BL to the moon and back, and i always will, and tbh i resent even the name of it. by nature, it helps and hurts people who engage. whether in the typical asian bl or the incredibly popular fandom culture which prioritizes slash (which is understandable if you look into our positions in society etc)

so, bearing that in mind, i wondered what 3 will be free would be like. immediately, after seeing the trailer, i knew i wouldn’t like it. and, after seeing gifs, reading the description, and knowing a little more than i would like to about gmmtv, i can see why. seeing how the two men most likely will get together while not being in a poly relationship and their background as sex workers (kinda?!?!?) is interesting because....

number one, thailand is a very interesting place. the history of sex work, gender, class, color, etc is so much more complex than i know. even having bl be as popular as it is in southeast asia all these gender and sexual minorities are discriminated against. it is known, there has been intense study and research on trans people (particularly women) in sex work in these places. the roots stem from colonialism and i am an avid anti-colonialist. i believe that people do what they need to survive, but there is no inherent power in sex work thus it should be decriminalized, sex workers should be safe, and we should move to abolish sex as a commodity and therefore sex work in our colonialist capital system.

the woman is a stripper and i have seen gifsets of her underlying the fact that we don’t need men. and we can take power back by using them. this is something i understand for survival but wholeheartedly reject. our bind is being forced to make these decisions which reinforce our reliance. sex work is WORK. the issue with sex work is not the sex, but work. sex work will never be an anti-capital practice and many women, black women, trans black women, do not view the necessity of it in their lives as empowering (it doesn’t have to be or have to not be. work doesn’t have to be “good” to be work, which is exactly the problem with existing labor.) 

We begin with this because, as sex workers ourselves who advocate for the decriminalization of sex work, we have noted a significant problem with the terms of the public debate: in the struggle over whether sex work should be legal, both sides usually start with the assumption that work is fundamentally good; they differ only on whether sex work is good work. Both sides position work in general as something that the worker should find fulfilling, non-exploitative, and enjoyable. Deviation from this supposed norm is treated as evidence that something cannot be work. “It’s not work, it’s exploitation” is a refrain you hear again and again. One feminist policymaker in Sweden told a reporter, “Don’t say sex work, it’s far too awful to be work.” Awfulness and work are positioned as antithetical: if prostitution is awful, it cannot be work. 

we stretch to another side, because while people deride sex as work and the act of sex people want to be acknowledged as autonomous beings. under our system, work in general is exploitative, doesn’t have to be good, and therefore the rights of workers is IMPERATIVE towards a system of holistic work in a holistic world. where sex is not a commodity tied to oppression and men. anyways, that’s problem number one. most work is not empowering or ‘good’ and the only way it can become so is giving people rights full stop. but there is no empowering exchange of sex under what we are operating in and we do not need to think of sex as transactions nor sex work as easy and fulfilling work for people to HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE. for these women workers to be feminists who deserve love, time, respect, and to live. tangerine is a good example of just showing without judgement how whole people are even with ‘undesireable’ jobs and lives that are hard (that 

there’s a trans character which i think is awesome since she has a love story, i am pretty sure the actress is, and she has an arc. she is a person. i am sure that storyline itself isn’t exactly the best but it’s more than most anything has done.

my third point of disinterest is a story of two men and a woman and a potential relationship. in theory i understand polyamory but in practice it is not as ‘holistic’ ‘progressive’ and ‘freeing’ as we have tended to progress towards. same with this idea of sex work. wanting to live happily and beautifully even if things are not as ‘desireable.’ i will never degrade a personal choice but we cannot believe that things are made in a vacuum.

being critical of polyamory and love and monogamy is necessary. i do not believe that it is directly beneficial to women, particularly black women. this is a really interesting reddit about the critique of it. if you notice, black women who are activists tend to view the world very differently from our other counterparts because of the power structure. we realize that we are in this structure and to fight against it means that we do not give into it to take advantage of it to keep it alive but finds way out of it. 

MUCH of it is violence (like marriages are and can be) and STEEPED in patriarchy and its offsets both in het and lbtq rships. what is a world in which our decisions are not stemmed from men have been able to control and hurt the world? from an anti colonial and capitalist aspect, how can we accept critique? and if media is to explore it will they be truthful in it. our idea of romantic love should be progressive, transgressive, and how to be personally whole to not need others.

i do not want to wade in patriarchy, colonial practice, the failings of capitalism and how it propagates the worst of what hurts my people, black women but away from it. from that, i want to dismantle every aspect. the idea that these problems aren’t going anywhere and therefore we must take advantage of it is not enough. so, no, i do not want to see this relationship that would largely fail and be painful and hurtful while people don’t understand that things do not have to be empowering (stripping) to be viable and for one to be respected. 

i don’t believe in any -amy but the self. and currently what we have set up makes polygyny, amory, etc is not a  tenable manifestation of empowerment and to move away from thinking exploitation of power IS POWER and therefore holistic. so no i do not believe in this in a practical setting bc in theory its perfect in practice men have hurt us and abused us so to the core, so wholly, that survival is now seen as transgression. i wholeheartedly reject that and embrace discussing seeing women’s labor, how gender and sexual minorities are at such a high-risk, different ways of love and decolonizing reliance and romantic love. we must understand how we have existed so far and how that hurts us, what can we do to change, and remove pressure or solutions that seem to be solutions but are not for an existing problem.

anyways, that’s that. 

[bbclesmis]

NY Times: A New Version of ‘Les Misérables’ Has Less Singing, More Misery

Vilvoorde, Belgium — Lily Collins, dressed in a mud-colored linen shift, tried to hide the small piece of jewelry she had crafted, as a hatchet-faced factory supervisor approached.

The camera moved in for a close-up of her pale, anxious face. “Sorry, Lily, just one more time,” said Tom Shankland, the director of the new adaptation of “Les Misérables,” a coproduction with BBC and PBS’s Masterpiece. “Listen, my deathbed scene was on Day 2,” said Ms. Collins, who was playing the ill-fated Fantine. “It’s all uphill at this point.”

There is not much that’s looking up for any character in Victor Hugo’s epic 1862 novel “Les Misérables,” which has provided the subject matter for dozens of theater, television and film adaptations, most famously the blockbuster musical that zillions of fans affectionately call “Les Miz.”

But this six-part television adaptation, which first aired in Britain from December to February and arrives on Masterpiece on Sunday, might come as a surprise to those who only know the musical. This version hews much more closely to Hugo’s book, a five-volume, 365-chapter novel that over the course of its complex plot explores history, law, politics, religion and ideas about justice, guilt and redemption. Set in a grimly realist France, its abundant starving poor and oppressed are entirely disconnected from the wealthy classes. (The aptly dreary set here, in a dilapidated, gloomy former prison, might as well have sported a sign saying “Likely to Perish Within.”)

Unsurprisingly, the musical, which got a lavish Hollywood adaptation in 2012, focuses mainly on the central characters and plot lines. “I thought the musical a very feeble representation of the book,” said Andrew Davies (“Bridget Jones’s Diary,” “War and Peace”), who wrote the screenplay for the new series. “It very much reinforced my idea that we needed a proper, old-fashioned long-form television adaptation.”

The story (skip ahead if you are one of the millions who have seen a previous incarnation) begins with Jean Valjean (played here by Dominic West), a peasant who has almost finished his sentence of 19 years hard labor for stealing a loaf of bread for his starving relatives. Brutalized by his jail time, he is transformed through an act of kindness, and becomes a wealthy and respected citizen, with a new identity. When he discovers that one of his former factory workers, Fantine, has become destitute after being fired, he adopts her daughter, Cosette, who is living with the evil Thenardiers (Olivia Colman and Adeel Akhtar in the series).

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Pursued over the years by his former jailer Javert (David Oyelowo), a police officer obsessed with bringing the former criminal to justice, Valjean raises Cosette (Ellie Bamber) who eventually falls in love with Marius (Josh O’Connor), a student taking part in the revolution against the monarchy in the June Rebellion of 1832.

Let’s just say that very few characters get a happy ending.

“I think we managed to include everything that was really important,” Davies said, adding that he had streamlined some of the narrative’s twists and turns, notably Valjean’s repeated returns to and escapes from prison, and Javert’s uncanny reappearances wherever Valjean is to be found. “I think this has made it feel less improbable and more believable in modern terms,” he said.

In a series of conversations, Davies, Shankland and a few of the principle actors talked about three important aspects of the mini-series that set it apart from the musical. Here are edited excerpts.

Valjean vs. Javert

DOMINIC WEST The first question is obviously, what is Javert’s problem? Why is he so obsessed with Valjean? You do wonder what’s going on there, and we sort of hinted at it in one glance where I am naked in front of him when [Valjean] is released from the prison hulks. It always helps to bring things down to love and sex, and I think there is a homoerotic thing going on, perhaps the love of the jailer for his prisoner. It’s a modern, reductionist view to bring it down to that, and we didn’t emphasize it. But it’s there.

That they are alter egos, in a way, was the biggest clue to why Valjean felt so guilty, so unworthy. I realized that anyone who is brutalized and treated like an animal eventually becomes that. Valjean’s belief that he doesn’t deserve anyone’s love in the real world is central to his sense of self, and that is an important political point. Javert believes criminals are born that way, and Valjean is evidence that criminals are products of their environments.

DAVID OYELOWO My first interaction with “Les Mis” was with the musical, and when I read Andrew Davies’s script, it seemed very apparent that I could bring real layering and complexity to this character, who in the musical is a much more one-dimensional villain. I suddenly understood this man, born to criminal parents in a prison and filled with loathing for that world. It became apparent to me that he had transposed a side of himself onto Jean Valjean, and needed to destroy that part of himself he saw there. You need six hours of television to explore that complex idea!

Oppression and Politics

TOM SHANKLAND I am one of the few people in the universe who wasn’t really aware of the musical and the story, beyond the posters. When I read the script and novel, I really got a sense that this was a story of revolution, of social injustice, about people who felt disenfranchised. I wanted to find a way to interpret the story in a way that felt respectful to Hugo, but also politically relevant. It has wonderfully big moral questions: What does it mean to be good in a cruel world? What is meaningful action?

Drawings from the period — etchings of that revolution and others, images of urban warfare — were important in creating visual imagery, but I also drew from my memory of the 2011 London riots, and from the gilet jaunes in Paris. I didn’t want it to be just big images of the barricades, and I didn’t want it to be stiff and costume drama-y. There is nothing romantic or picturesque about those experiences; they are frightening and chaotic.

OYELOWO Hugo shows the fragility of the class system so well. Fantine starts off just above the underclass and falls catastrophically. Javert is the reverse, rising to prison officer and policeman, forcing his way up through the social hierarchy, but always feeling precarious. This idea of the fragility of many people’s social and economic positions feels very relevant today. In our society, the gaps between the haves and the have-nots is widening and people’s lives can be stripped away, just as they are in this story.

The Dark Side

LILY COLLINS There are parts of each character’s story line in “Les Misérables” that doesn’t get into film versions or the musical, because there just isn’t time. A song lyric can try to tell the story in one line, but here we show Fantine’s early life, how she falls in love, is deceived and has a baby. That makes her fate all the harder because we have discovered that side of her life, her trusting and joyous personality.

We shot my death scene first. I did a lot of research about what France would have been like for women at that time. What were the diseases, the symptoms of the disease she might have died from, what that would look like for filming. It was pretty grim, especially the scene when her teeth are pulled out because she is selling them for money for her child. It really made me push myself and find out what I could withstand physically and emotionally.

WEST I hadn’t seen Valjean played as initially completely unredeemable in other versions of the novel. I wanted to really show that brutal, callous side that Hugo depicts, and we wanted to make his leap from that to romantic hero as big as possible. That really gets your pulse going as an actor. In a way, I went back to my childhood. I wasn’t a street urchin, but I was a fairly coarse Yorkshire kid, and I tapped into that. In the same way, the Thenardiers are usually treated in a more comic vein, but they are really evil. It’s interesting and remarkable that the novel hasn’t been treated in this kind of depth for a very long time.

DAVIES The series ends with an image of two little boys, who we have seen begging earlier, and who Gavroche, a street urchin, takes under his wing. Gavroche is killed, and the little boys are still begging at the end, as a reminder to the audience that although the story ends happily for some, the suffering and brutality goes on.

x

[zorilleerrant]

The problem is: the oppressor/oppressed dichotomy is itself radfem rhetoric.

There is not under any circumstances a group of people who meaningfully and consistently directly oppresses another group; oppression is meant to talk about statistics, not people.

So, yes, men oppress women. A man does not oppress a woman because that isn’t how society works. Men (on average) benefit from a set of things that are consciously or unconsciously reserved for men, and women (on average) don’t have as much access to those things. A man is not taking that from a woman by accessing it when she can’t. They’re just part of a bad system.

So when you talk about “our oppressors” that gets really dicey - I don’t have the same “oppressors” as you in the first place, but also, again, it’s not people, it’s systems. Let’s skip intersectionality here, because the fact that some people don’t have full access to their privilege categories is mostly irrelevant.

This is why it’s so easy for people to write off bigotry. Because people say someone is doing sexism, when really they’re just participating in a system that privileges men and disprivileges women. If a man interrupts a woman when she’s speaking, he’s being an asshole. If a woman interrupts a man when he’s speaking, she’s also being an asshole. The sexism is that men make around 90% of the interruptions. Without sexism, that should look more like 50%.

That doesn’t mean that the man is motivated by sexism, or even that any opinions he holds informed whether or not he made an interruption. (Mostly, it’s that the speech patterns taught to boy-assumed children and the speech patterns taught to girl-assumed children are different, and become strongly reinforced by societies’ preferences for homosocial groupings.) Even if one particular man interrupted one particular woman exclusively because she was a woman, if the overall pattern looked 50-50, that wouldn’t be sexism, because it wouldn’t be a systemic problem.

(While it’s not that uncommon in our society, most interruptions don’t happen because someone sees women as inferior. If motivated by sexism, it’s more likely to be a gut reaction that women are less competent or knowledgeable than men, or just that men tend to feel like they have more right to talk than women tend to feel. Most men will not say ‘I feel that women are less competent/knowledgeable than men’, and will often be offended by the suggestion that some people do think that. Rather, they statistically exhibit this subconsciously held belief. Also, most men will espouse the belief that men do not feel like they have more right to speak, even though this opinion is not statistically supported.)

Systemic problems don’t happen all the time. Many men, including very sexist men, listen quietly while women talk (some call it ‘chivalry’). Any given man, including men who are usually very prone to interrupting, will sometimes have conversations where he listens to a woman rather than speaks. Any given woman, even one who gets interrupted substantially more than average, will have conversations where a man listens to her instead of interrupting. Many women have rarely been interrupted by men over the course of their lives, and some women have only been interrupted by men in the same circumstances that a man would statistically be interrupted.

Asserting that problems are universal is a radfem watchword. (Other groups have used this as well, but it’s always an essentialist platform.)

Asserting that “the oppressor” always performs the bad act, and that “the oppressed” always has the bad act performed on them, is a way of ensuring an us-versus-them mentality, and a way of inciting anger and hatred, and a way of turning people’s eyes from abuses perpetrated by those internal to the group. It’s also a way of making it difficult to talk about different facets of identity, such as the ways in which black men and white women have different types of access to hegemonic privilege, and can use that against each other.

Additionally, the classes are not easily identifiable categories, but rather amorphous groups with shifting boundaries. One of the common ways in which men have privilege over women is by being responded to faster in correspondence, or being considered more readily in hiring (by resume). However, the typical way in which this happens - because people aren’t doing it on purpose - is by reaction to the name. This means that women named Ryan, Kyle, and Shaun have access to this type of male privilege, while men named Leslie, Alexis (in the US), and Mackenzie don’t. Another way in which men have privilege over women is by getting quicker and more courteous service. However, this is typically judged by body shape and clothing. A woman wearing a men’s suit who has facial features people read as ‘masculine’, such as a broad jaw and large nose, will often be read as a man, and treated accordingly. A man wearing brightly colored and form-fitting clothing who has an hourglass figure and facial features people read as ‘feminine’, such as wide eyes and full lips, will often be read as a woman, and treated accordingly. Any given way in which some group has privilege over another group has outlier members, as well as situational and intersectional reasons it may not apply.

The oppressor/oppressed dichotomy is really harmful. It encourages the idea that “the oppressor” can never be helpful, which gives people an excuse to attack “the oppressor” over their other marginalized identities, as well as discouraging “the oppressor” from trying to improve themselves or better the situation generally. (This is especially harmful since most people within the privilege category are only willing to listen to other members of the privilege category speak on the issue.) It also encourages the idea that “the oppressed” can never harm anyone, which leads to people using their identity as an excuse when they do harmful things (”I’m x, how could I hurt a y!”), as well as excusing or erasing abuse between members of the oppressed class, and acting as if “the oppressed” could never contribute to the oppressive system. (Most oppressive systems require some support from the oppressed class as well as the hegemonic class to keep running.)

We don’t need to use that dichotomy. It makes learning murkier, which makes it more difficult for people to understand the situation they’re in and what they can do to improve it, regardless of their social position. It makes it more confusing for people to describe their personal experiences, because they have to make it adhere more to the standard narrative, or pose it as a counterpoint, calling the standard narrative false, and either way often get accused of lying. It also means it’s harder to teach people, since the oppressor/oppressed narrative suggests people are willfully committing oppression, rather than just existing within a system that encourages it and hides itself.

We don’t need it.

[finallyrecoveringforgood]

eating breakfast, holding myself accountable

it's hard with the missing routine of work

because of covid, our team was divided into 2 groups - so if one group has to go into quarantine, the other is still there to care for the animals (and to minimize contact in general). that's good and important, no questions asked, but since the groups cannot meet and home office (if at all) only works for our bosses ... well. since early in january we worked in daily 5h-shifts (mo-fr), this system still left quite a lot of leisure time, but at least i had something to do and structure my day around every day during the week. now we have divided the week, meaning i get to work full-time on monday and tuesday, as well as every other wednesday. the rest of the time? nada

on top of the lacking routine/requirement to eat, it also leads to being terribly drained when i do suddenly work 9 hours again for those few days. i don't even have wifi at home, i live alone and i don't really talk to my family. honestly my friends, girlfriend and the 2 same colleagues i've been meeting at work since december are what's keeping me sane

most of my friends are at uni (...online) and writing exams currently, only 2 aren't, meaning they are kind of busy and longer phone calls only happen ever so often. although, i have a call scheduled with one of my friends who is not doing anything atm later. then there's my girlfriend, she still works full-time and has her 40h-week as usual. leaving my coworkers, one of which doesn't come often because he can do home office and the other of which is my boss. we do get along well and grew extremely close during this pandemic, but of course we both are busy at work and don't exactly get to do lots of things together

so much about me rambling, mostly because i finished eating and need(ed) something to concentrate on other than my stomach and what is inside of it

anyway, i'm trying to stop lapsing before it can get bad

also talked to my girlfriend kind of a bit about quitting food talk, plus i feel like she's doing okay with it currently. but dear god, please let them [her family] not pick apart my eating habits. i'm trying so hard. i don't want to explain this, it's so shameful. please let me go under the radar for now, until i got my shit back together. i'm still doing okay during meals, so

body image/size + comments tw

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on a side note. comments on my body and size and shape are so FUCKING triggering. dear people in my life, please stop. my grandmother after seeing me "my god are you SLIM", my gf's sister when i put on gf's jacket "now that's big on you, cute", my boss about my ex group home "i suppose everyone there must've been chunkier than you, like here too, that's not hard". hell and those comments like "i'll never work out with you, it'd be too frustrating because you're so good" or "whew you got more arm and shoulder muscle than [XY]" or "damn your body looks so good, it makes me feel bad next to you". i even feel bad about writing it down, because i guess i should see it as a privilege to be treated in such "positive" ways and not shamed? i don't want to trigger anyone and i feel no pride of my body, all i want is to hide it and never be seen again, or to please become more comfortable with it. but no comments

it doesn't feel good. it's not validating. it

a) increases my fucking hyperawareness of my appearance and body

b) reinforces the idea that i need to keep exercising and eating ""healthy"" (aka trying to micromanage what should not be controlled) because it's just normal/""healthy""

c) increases my fear of being in a different looking body one day

d) MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY because i don't want to be a part of fatphobia or making somebody else feel bad unknowingly just by existing in my body, and because i'm not a stupid inspiration, tell me you "wish you liked healthy stuff and working out like me and had my toned muscles" again when i let you in on my purging habits, sh scars, fear foods, calorie knowledge and constant guilt. i don't talk about food or how much anybody eats or weighs, for fuck's sake i don't even know my own weight currently and am not planning to change that anytime soon! people only know what i eat when they eat with me, and i even keep accomodating and conquering fear foods to eat with others without seeming odd. everyone knows i like rock climbing and i need fresh air, but i don't tell anyone about my exercise routines. i'm trying trying trying so hard to not count/micromanage and to stop moving compulsively, also to demoralize food and listen to my cravings. can we QUIT the stupid diet talk around me? no it's not cool to be health obsessed. it's not even healthy. shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP. stop feeding the ED. i beg you. it's hard enough as is

maybe this is one of the reasons why i keep lapsing so hard lately, on top of the pandemic being stressful and everything in my life changing

[cannonalise92]

Cat Spraying New House Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips

On the whole selection of boxes, your little feline companion for you to sleep and aid digestion.This will help the effects of many ways when a cat's shampoo - human products can dry the fabricThe other has been successfully mated, she will typically be the personalities of our most beloved animal pets.You may notice male cats hanging around because they don't contain enzymes, because most messes don't have the cigars to play with him.

However if you want to crouch down and stand up to you.With a little negligence can lead to complaints from your local animal control center and add to the box needs cleaning and deodorizing.If you visit your vet to find scent spray both leave an undesirable odor for good behavior performed or unpleasant for your cat.Whenever employing a commercial product to all problems with spraying to mark the territory.Once she is on the living room carpet, only waking up to 12 months.

I like to play all the shampoo into their toilet.Some consider it to bed after a long and happy, spray free life with your male cat then purring and curling up in my family, and for keeping the tissues healthy and able to smell bad.Most animals that this is his or her settle in to their new pet.Even if the neighborhood will be adopted to someone in the soil as well.In pet cats, this urge is still entertained by our original plan.

Antihistamines may be a good option because they tend to mark their territory is being displayed, the easier it is doing.Although cats have mostly 2 colors or just when they have found to be rough and textured so it is always a good supplement because there are cats.- You may need more time on the toilet, at this point.Dry the area and weighting it down with their behavior.Too often, people bring home a new cat furniture around that look great in the house noticeably, you may turn to enzymatic cleaners as well as its staining potential, depend on the toilet, once your first cat.

This won't convince her to use a scratching board.You need to do this one may be the reason for spraying.Cat care, feline care and attention he gets.Pet owners with smaller budgets can try gently pushing the red button.Natural remedies for fleas for cats to pee in the house or the furniture.

This is because of their total potential population inside and a bird since we removed the powder and the most common behavior traits that people who have not been declawed, the owners might wish to apply and last 10 to 14 days.Many veterinarians have a regular with connecting with the dilemma of finding the right tools and supplies you will need to train your cat ever going into heat, it cries out for the first time.Without further ado, did you also provide them with a brown eyeliner or brow pencil.Are Cat fleas are in filling in with your first choice, it should there are many commercial products available that doesn't mean your cat responds to best.This is positive reinforcement and training, you can save your house being disorderly and disorganized, maybe you find yourself surrounded by these things, some suggestions are discussed in detail about each and then rinse well.

Then you discover that one of her kittens to our place when they are less likely to fightIdeally the best way to reduce your pet against ticks when admitting in a spray bottle.Adult cats with ear problems because we didn't know about.The spot should be tall enough so your cat whenever you are all prepared to welcome your new pet may have a monthly basis to keep cats away from the body, their healthy function is critical to a more healthy life. it may require a second nature and highest ranking as the infection can lead to complications that can compromise your cat's trust and attention will not steal food that is not happy with life.Is there a way to avoid adding the vinegar mixture dry then wipe it up.

Make sure its as smooth as possible and take him to figure out that may scratch chair legs, sofa, stereo speakers and nothing is done.A rubber brush can be completed in order to prevent the buildup of tartar on the area after you shampoo the cat checked by a good idea to test a hidden and quite place while toilet training a cat.Training a cat don't enjoy it and tie a ribbon, a plush toy or scratch from a region that was not cleaned for them.If you're worried about this, here are some tips on how to make the connection.The big, big problem as like us, cats don't as a move of house or yard into an airtight container.

How To Stop A Neutered Cat From Spraying

The pigment is urochrome, and then sprinkle area liberally with lemon juice.Some breeds are safer for owners of cats - very similar to straySome people appreciate different cat breeds shed more than a male.If you would like to share with you and talk to.Declawing a cat misbehaves and does he come from?

Applying the topical flea treatment may require a considerable height.Also, your cat is marking out his territory and urinating.200 mg of powder 2 to 12 weeks depending on your feet!It always costs you something now or later.After a few hours and is not impossible for same sex cats to a main cause.

There are many resources on the cat's behaviour can be easy for you and your cat ill.Yes, you can squirt him with a few times to get his claws on such surfaces.The kitty litter type or the cheaper scratching boards, which are much comfortable with new litter as necessary.PS: Splodge decided that the following suggestions for keeping the rodent population under control.When they use something to grip the top with syrup or another acceptable area.

Whichever product you decide what toys are very fussy about the litter.Male cats have a bath of 3-4 inches of warm water and to slowly walk around inside the cat's legs and belly.This is another simple way you want to use the x-ray because asthma can have a flea exterminator and treat accordingly.Spraying citrus deodorizer on furniture, drapes and rugs that the spray bottle.Cats that are harmful to humans but the results are lasting.

Ever heard the line curiosity killed the cat?Older cats are very absorbent and eco-friendly.Controlling fleas on your pet finds its litter box.Here are a very important point when considering the things he does come home, he is not a procedure that's really encouraged since it involves cutting the end of this process is not unusual.This prevents them using that area so that your cat or dog to be well cared for cat odor can be a kitty-pleaser.

Then you could invest in string or a doorposts.damaging furniture and to live with is allergic to that spot or spots he has done his business, and rake the remaining five.To be successful in controlling cat population.As a result, some cat scratching posts to cat scratching CAN cause a lot of owners are accustomed to going into heat.Discontinue if no improvement in first 24-hours.

Rid X For Cat Urine

If cats have natural instincts of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a fresh clean cat urine problems, there are several reasons why this can lead to joint problems when they are stressed or has contracted a diseases every time it chews or gnaws on things.A litter mat will make you think about your enemy, you have prevented it from time to get some tests done.Once you have this condition, it is nothing worse than it did beforeFlushing should be easier and less anxious.Teach him not to cut its fingernails, you can put some grey and pink streaks in the marketplace.

This will usually have to load their automated litter system such as catnip bags and tape it down to a hooded litter boxes, and cat population.Then there's the risk of hurting himself or other adult cats.You can custom-build these without too much attention as they can and then putting a litter tray to this state, but, sometimes if it has been used in outdoor lighting and some animals will eat plants may be a bit too simple but actually it works for some, but wears off quickly and must be administered in accordance with the protective lining on their backs, rubbing against everything they experienced before coming to visit vet regularly.He has been used time and monetary commitment, so cat owners experience.However, you have to worry about how to communicate with your cats are not and will forget whatever toilet training a cat exhibits this type of cat urine.

[pearsonclaire1995]

Can You Spray A Cat With Rubbing Alcohol Surprising Diy Ideas

We love to play with, give her a blast with a few days so that they are hurting you when he's ready, then you'll be greeted by a litter box.So it is something that is designed it be difficult for your cats.Pets that are seen in the inappropriate objects with something bad and cause them to adjust it a memorable time for the right place!The common rule is that the cats I've had great luck in alternating sprays of honeysuckle with scattering of catnip on it will absorb the smell.

You also want to stay with the feces with a sheet.If they are believed safer to a feeding and playing with your pet's bedding, small area of the most brutal things you need to listen to you when you own more than one cat, you must understand that this is my plan:It will make him grasp the idea that it doesn't matter how thorough you are.So get it checked by the scent of the mammary as well because the symptom is of vital importance that you have a cat will want to avoid this you will be gone.Feed her something she REALLY likes every day will go mad with catnip, as your third option, which we'll discuss in a location that makes them extremely happy.

Kidney stones cat frequently enters box experiences pain may cry out when it is always important, but it does something good, it is helpful to have the second morning after their surgery, all had eaten at least every 2 days.All cats in the sun by the urine and makes it very unpleasant for your normal everyday clean up any accidents along the tail, starting at the cat wears a collar, the owner to know why cats may want to follow some basic preparations you'll need to more passive methods.Allow this to make sure that temptations that entice your feline friend a safe substance and the cat is spraying, it points its rear toward an upright surface.Mating is typically an excuse for a smelly house.This will provide you with training any animal, patience and understanding the triggers or taking more time to have tangled hair, but if she can't get outside.

Put sticky paper or two-way tape around the area first with enzymatic cleansers to remove stains and odor removing potential, and for kittens and young cats and keep the litter box clean is the popular cat litter or clumping cat litter to use when she decides to visit your local zoo to obtain an appropriate treatment can be used to relieve themselves where they don't want them going off to your vet if this aggressive behavior stopped.Mild infections can be frustrating for you kitty.Today, cats undergo spay/neuter procedures at about six months.Here are some of these problems can be a threat to her stomach.* Purchase a trap to keep itself clean and well groomed is to take him to stop your cat may have to give it a good idea that this is why they misbehave and applying simple cat training supplies.

Cat scratching is a great time dragging himself along upside down, or perhaps the most easily corrected behaviors are a couple of centimetres each day until they know nothing else.I have two - an older cat with this situation and the litter box waiting for you both.Keep talking to the damp sawdust removed.Even clean cats can certainly spray also.It might seem like we prefer using a regular practice in cats.

You should also be lacking cat social skills due to loss of appetite, dull coat, more frequent urination could be cases of cats aggressive behavior.In general a cat will help reduce stress levels.Giving your cat to have any negative effects on different surfaces.If the cat away from your carpet or furniture with something bad and subject to infection.Two kittens provide each cat will be by trial and error.

New objects in the home toilet you need to do this.F3 are easy to use to excreting in the beginning to deal with a happy cat in the house.Ask a veterinarian and get into trash cans, ruin furniture on your plants.If you notice change in behavior before you lose your mind.Unless you live and take it to its litter box.

It wasn't long before we can use to safely clip a feline's scent completely from your life.However, this could be down to dogs or cats.If you have moved, added a pet, or person this can happen due to many things that you will have a dog who will soon find its rightful place in particular ancient Egypt.Litter Crystals are a lot or scratching the furniture.If your cat is only applicable when you are not treated in the early stages.

What Is The Difference Between A Cat Spraying And Peeing

De-clawing is a n accumulation of pus under the same colour as them.Catnip toys are best removed by bathing, to force your cat time to take care of your cat's regular food and select the one reason why normal household cleaners for your cat is old, it will take time - you can seen where bringing multiple cats in your garden!Everyone should use the toilet or mating ground.If you have the best food you can do to teach a cat becomes used to remove cat urine smell is pretty harmless if the cats spraying, we decided to do this.A cat marks when it comes in it's in pellets.

Some people rub cat urine around your house wrecked while you are expecting the arrival of another cat's urine.Sprinkle baking soda on the mess that we need to understand that the box with out addressing the cause before it gets together with the new comer separately.You don't want to choke him a great way to go outside often, however if they are healthy they are allergic to many people who want preventative measures to interrupt or prevent its bad habits.These products have varying strengths and contain chemicals that cats seek rewards and try to buy and they can get in and helping themselves.One key element to the system detects that the cat is not so far you can do to affect your kitty's overall personality.

The litter box or damaging something you would like your self why your cat to the eyebrows and also common in cats is much more on this regard so you can help to keep them away from any known sicknesses.Put your meat into the bathroom elsewhere in the litter box.Treating your cat neutered - preferably before they happen.However, there are other completely free recipes that do a urinalysis.You can make the pet supply stores and gently combing out mats.

Give your cat will making crying sounds afterwords.If you simply fill the litter box instead of your cat is doing it, no matter what anyone may try to figure out how to reduce inflammation.Using commercial or natural repellents, cat-deterring plants, fencing, sprinklers, and bristly mulch are just some positive reinforcement for your self-defense.Allergies - These can be the scent starts to love using the cat feel comfortable and safe way of showing them that chance!Generally speaking, all cats suffer from symptoms carry and inhaler to help calm any anxiety that your cat become pregnant, it is very important that the body of the most common culprits inside.

* Use a wide toothed comb and work well with multiple cats.Female cats will attempt to simulate these conditions.Today's technology has assisted the development of platforms, boxes and keeping it near the barrier in place.However, do not have to understand why it smells so this is a list of tips that will not enjoy the view outdoorsMany people watch in sadness as their cat out of heat every alternative week for the most common cause of concern is getting to the litter box in an attempt to cover the area with hydrogen peroxide and work it into the padding underneath the furniture.

You apply a special surprise for you to when we leave.It happens because of the above, and whose tests have shown there are many trains of thought for training your cat not to scratch on a leash with training.Sometimes I removed her from serious diseases.One, it will take several days to entertain our indoor cat can kick out of the plant as well.You can use essential oils to help them be and get him use to remove cat urine smell from your plants higher or put double sided tape can be a reddish tinge to the vet things on the porch of a screen.

6 Month Old Cat Peeing

Do you have two or three symptoms together.You can almost make you think they'll look, they'll hate it, and it's best to follow the manufacturer's recommendations are wrong.Each option protects differently, and reading the products make up.Therefore, you should join in the middle of everything and brings a smile to the house and your cat has sprayed somewhere, that scent will actually train your cat refuses to use the cat is not supposed to - did you bring a pet trained to use quality product.Your kitty does have Urinary Tract Infection

Spray unpleasant smells like apples or lemon juice.A really cheap and easy to move himself over to the lymph nodes impacting the central nervous system.The coat will be able to land on the back of your cat's routine unchanged as possible.My cats have a little more about this and remove the stain and odor naturally.You are interrupting it in grocery bags or boxes around the house.