#and i was like 😃❓ (i had also not intended for the story to be funny. but i thought it was a compliment that he read it that way)
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.(personal)
#signing off for some time#i have some things to sort through 🫡#please expect something relating to au yvverse on valentines day! (i will be back by then)#a non-snz journal entry before i leave (not expecting anyone to read this):#i think writing humor is an interesting challenge#i remember reading a book in uni where i thought the narration was very interesting and pleasing and sharp#but then reading the reviews for it half a year later and seeing people say 'i couldn't stop laughing when i was reading this' / 'people#on the train were giving me weird looks because i was laughing so hard / this is the funniest book i've read all year' etc. and i remember#feeling distinctly confused... i had not registered that the irony and the sharp commentary were supposed to be funny; they were simply#texturally interesting to me 😭 i also remember submitting a short story draft and having a professor say in workshop 'your writing is very#funny. it reminds me of [movie he liked] which i also found to be very funny'#and i was like 😃❓ (i had also not intended for the story to be funny. but i thought it was a compliment that he read it that way)#humor is so inexplicable to me#i'm working on a series which i actively want to be funny and every time i write out a joke i'm like... fretting a little internally#like do i even know what humor is 😭😭 it's like this relay race exercise where (1) i hand off a scene and (2) the audience interprets it as#playfulness... neither of us is allowed to drop the baton in order for this to work 🏃♀️ it's a little scary??!! it feels so vulnerable#i think it's an interesting problem... trying to find all of these little pockets where i can modulate the tone towards playfulness#alsooooo unrelated... these days i find myself feeling the instinctive need to apologize to everyone 😭 i thought i would be fine#but now looking at myself i'm like... girl something is broken here 😭‼️ i tried rephrasing this in like 10 different ways and#nothing seemed right. anyways for good measure: i am sorry#truthfully i still feel like just half a person sometimes#perhaps i shall reemerge from this break metamorphosed into someone more tolerable 🐛 -> 🦋
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