#some of the people in the tags in the last post were right in that there ARE bats who are pollinators

[lazywitchling]

So here's the thing, right? I keep looking through my own blog going "Hey! Where's the witchy content?" (the-- the 'where's the cream filling' commercials? anyone? no? I'm just old? okay.)

I've made a few posts over the past little while that boil down to "blogging about witchery gets hard once it gets more specific". At some point, my craft got so personalized to me, interacting with my own familiar spirit, building my own astral space and figuring out a whole paradigm there about bridges and astral space and liminal space and imagination... there's just so much that I can't really *share* and have it applicable to anyone else but me, you know? So in a slow-but-steady snowball effect, I've wound up going pretty radio silent over here at lazywitchling dot tumblr dot com. I'm still witching in a way, but it's been a lot more reading and information gathering lately. Less active work and more passive learning.

It's hard to talk about the information gathering process, especially when a lot of that has moved offline. It was easy to share all the things I was learning when I was first starting out, because all the things I was learning came from here. It was easy enough to hit the reblog button, share a post to my blog, and tag it so I could find it again later. As a consequence, other people were able to find content through my blog too. But now I'm spending more time reading books offline, taking notes in a physical notebook, sitting quietly in the dark with my eyes closed having conversations with a spirit consisting of vague impressions and images, waving a pendulum at a dusty old building corner and asking The Thing That's There if it wants to stay or leave.

So what do I do about this radio silence? SHOULD I do anything about it? The other thing is that I've seen so so so many witches over the years of this webbed site just disappear, then come back years later with a lot of fanfare and "I'M BACK, BABY!" and then they just... stop posting again after a month. So something about making the big "I've decided to post more!" announcement just doesn't work. You gotta have reason to start posting more, not just the desire to, yaknow?

What do I talk about, then? Vague updates about the astral space I'm building? Perhaps a few more stories of the conversations with J (my familiar)? More vague updates of me screeching at witch books? (I know y'all love that last one!)

Something. idk what, but something.

Anyway. Hi. I'm Jes. It's short for Jester. How's it going?

[botanyshitposts]

confirming the Ethiopian wolf pollination hypothesis seems so straightforward in theory, like just erecting anti-wolf barriers around some of the hot poker plants and seeing if those get pollinated at the same rate as the other ones, but also I feel like it could be some lab’s 6 year long project that ends up in Nature and answers more questions about wolf dessert time than I could ever think to ask. and also it would give more beautiful photos of wolves between 3 seconds and 1 hour into passionate nectar indulgence. so hopefully with the media attention they’re getting they can do that

[muffinlance]

Do you get the impression the live action is treating us like utter morons?? Like I thought that making it aimed at an older audience would open the doors for more subtle story telling, but no, they're just using monologues to tell us eveything! Like in the second episode Katara's like 'oh his power isn't that he's the avatar, it's that he ~connects~ to people'. Girl we're not idiots we can see that!! And the first episode with Aang's goddawful 'I don't want this responsibility' monologue

THIS, YES. The word that keeps coming to mind is definitely "subtlety". The show for literal children? Had it. The remake for adults? Not so much.

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[seaweedstarshine]

Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).

I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?

That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.

Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌

TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.

Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.

(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)

Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.

(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)

Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.

Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.

Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.

We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).

Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.

(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)

And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.

If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.

Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.

[gigifujijifu]

Anyone else remember the little 88x31 buttons from older internet days? I've been remembering them a lot lately.

I make ffxiv ones in msp when I'm in queue or my bf is flying me around between quests.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.

You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!

[widevibratobitch]

me when im obsessed with dead singers from 50 (well... mostly 70-120) years ago and im heartbroken to know i'll never see them on stage... never hear them breathe, never see them sweat, never even touch the hem of their garment...

it really is enough to drive a person mad...

[hyperfixationtimego]

sometimes I end up shipping things just to be contrarian. like not on purpose or anything I just get insulted when people say shit like “these two unrelated characters, who are roughly the same age but have wildly conflicting perspectives on the world, would never work in a relationship.” like okay. you are joyless and unimaginative btw. i’m picturing them in my head rn and it’s the greatest drama of our generation. they’re kissing with tongue. jsyk.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ok another one in that i went over everything again expressly to pick up murder mystery clues, especially in the beginning

noted as the first appearance of mordecai, hanging out in the garage. to be perched on the hood of a car, leaning back, is so whimsical for him. jaunty. but also, being the earliest appearance in the comic / its own timelines, you know. more informatively, it sure seems like atlas was shot or something there. looks like it matches his design even from the mostly obscured look we get at it, and presumably there's any all the more unobscured view available to everyone in-universe. it's also presented as part of someone's file, so that's noted re: drago, though it may just be the required framing to present it as a photograph that'd exist at all

then introduced to mitzi in the next page, and i've helpfully added the arrow b/c i was looking for it like "well, based on this Theory that the basis of mitzi and mordecai being in cahoots and having an understanding about it is their mutually having a personal/emotional connection to atlas (at least on their end b/c we see so little from atlas and hear even less. even when people would usually say one is personally connected to their wife. are they)....might mordecai show up at the glimpse of atlas's funeral" and i'm noting how closely that design there aligns with mordecai's, even though this isn't high res enough to be absolutely certain. but: seems to have a shaded-in coloration, center streak in the ear, sharply triangular corner of face (especially a feature in these earliest depictions, rather than this triangularity incorporating a bit more waviness / curve later), light uhh muzzle nose mouth area, what could be the outline of the light stripe under the eyes, light eyebrows >:c ly arched, & pince-nez or just glasses if that's the only option when you're cats....there's a lot of "wow that really could be mordecai huh" design alignments that are otherwise just a lot of coincidences like, whoops drew this background rando who matches so closely one of the main cast members....characters. getting theatrical out here. and what's then also noticeable is: none of the other background randos resemble any other characters, even when if mordecai is simply here as an Important Employee, where's viktor, where's anyone else we know was already around, where's the employees who remained steadfast who are shown immediately after this, versus mordecai who, as an employee, did Not loyally stick around at lackadaisy, but as someone with enough emotional investment in atlas for that to indeed be the foundation of his and mitzi's murder mystery Understanding, to then also maybe be the only lackadaisy employee at atlas's funeral (presumably with mitzi's knowledge), to have left lackadaisy out of grief rather than professional interests....hmm

mordecai also in this picture, where again everyone's hanging out, next to atlas and singled out by being the only person not sitting. did he just get there, maybe. is he On The Job still, i.e. maybe by being something of an [almost always active personal bodyguard] here. seems he'd face more Away from atlas for that. but not like i know what he's up to otherwise, and Thee Point may be to more symbolically have him standing apart. with even viktor also there, sitting and chilling, to show how mordecai Might also be doing that....but isn't. also of course tingling with mystery senses about what mitzi was going to have said to wick here, about how she would hate to, dot dot dot...then changes her mind upon Considering Atlas

here's mordecai Standing Near atlas again while socializing is happening. while he is also distinct from a) mitzi, in that this is confirming (if somewhat implicitly) that mordecai was in fact already associated with lackadaisy & atlas before atlas met mitzi, and b) viktor, who was still stationed with the arbogasts' funeral home, wherein i'm also considering this relevant b/c naturally it emphasizes that the professional viktor & mordecai duo's existence doesn't make them interchangeable: backing up that mitzi sure may have had a reason beyond a coin flip for having this secret with mordecai rather than viktor (and, of course, the reason probably isn't just "i need to work with some lackadaisy employee who can fire a gun" in the first place)

a couple more points being

mordecai going on and on about professional approach all the time; could simply be his preference, could be an expression of the like precision / methodical perspective that makes him good at biting and killing, could be [that] plus just how he deals with his job being biting and killing when it's unlikely he was up to that before the train ride ft. atlas and atlas taking him on for that success....i also wonder if he took a Professional Approach to killing atlas / thinks of it in that way, even if that reason for [secret mystery involvement with mitzi on this] was an emotional one, and that being recent and tumultuous has him like tripling down on this. even though mordecai may not have killed atlas either, even presuming atlas Was shot and killed. and knowing that mitzi gave him a gun, or mordecai gave her the gun, or they passed it back and forth a few times for obfuscation

the pig farmers start wandering into a dark area of lackadaisy's caves and there's bones back there. what goes on in said caves....all this coming about b/c atlas opportunistically took advantage of the cave access, seems like the kind of environment with real potential for some figurative resonance. like also the rivers.

mitzi telling wick that atlas was the murderous one in the relationship....not necessarily that significant when like, technically who around here Isn't murderous. just like there having been "here's the body stashing cave section" isn't necessarily extraordinary in its literal existence, but with the symbolism of wandering into the caves and finding an area with no light, where you start walking on old bones, and are about to be killed yourself....hmm. and re: atlas's murderousness, sure is possible to team up to kill someone to protect a fourth party, even though like, who. and that would add another layer of "mitzi and mordecai care about the same person" on top of their presumed [handshaken] emotional regard towards atlas. possible, but like, who would that be. it seems unlikely atlas would, say, threaten ivy or something. and how would that incorporate that [there has to be the Mitzi's Asserted Culpability] element. but these things are sure noted

not directly related to the mystery but i will leave off again on the mordenico agenda. even though, also, it is a "bite me a zillion times, two zillion times shy on me" situation like, what are the odds the [inroad of intrigue over shaking up the glitter in your funny little guy who everyone usually just would rather ignore] situation is actually bound for working out. yet [Also Everything Else. like in this scene and the prior Hotel Room Fête encounters] and declaring yourselves as the same and trying to stay friends no matter what....we can dream

[solarpunkani]

How much am I allowed to post/ramble about the solarpunk zombie apocalypse story I'm working on before it gets annoying.

Bonus points: I haven't actually gotten to the solarpunk part of it.

[angelicxi]

also not to to make vague and whining posts...but to make vague and whining posts, since I am actively sick and so dizzy I can barely stand upright for five minutes at a time, ergo sorely lack the required brainpower needed to express this w any of like, grace and precision, much less eloquence.

man oh man I am so fucking done with the way people approach art and media. how all of it is now perceived as "content" and the only metric by which they judge whether or not it is good is how hashtag relatable it is to the consumer, how the point of it is, or should be, as far as these people are concerned, to be Nice and Inoffensive and Digestible and About Me, The Specialest And Most Importantest Little Princeling, actually. how they perceive themselves as a customer, essentially. shopper weighing you, the artist / creative, like a product in his hands and tutting. and more than anything I loathe the incredibly dangerous entitlement bred by this attitude.

also, people have gotten waaaaayyyyyy too comfortable with just wandering into the DMs / inboxes of strangers they encounter at random on the internet with increasingly bizarre grievances. main character syndrome is sosososo real, deranged and common. I want to scream!! I AM screaming!!!!

[enigma-absolute]

Today marks 10 years since I first really stepped into the Eddsworld fandom and went through an event with it.

But it also happened to be first anniversary of its creator's passing. This year marks the 10th.

I figured 13 year old me wouldn't want to feel alone in that moment, so I made this to join her and go through the flow together.

Without Edd and Eddsworld, I don't think I would've had that accessible foundation, can-do mindset and enthusiastic influence, admiration and desire to animate and make stories of my own. I was a year too late when I first entered into the fandom and heard about it, but these past 10 years taught me it's never too late to make an impact and tell your tales - no matter how long they'll take.

Thank you Edd Gould. For everything.

[the-travelling-witch]

accidentally got spoiled for jjk, life’s good

[starlene]

missing Så som i himmelen original cast

[todayisafridaynight]

I keep seeing those "character without trauma" depictions and they seem like fun but I can't really picture it for most of The Faves... I guess Arakawa would've stayed an actor and Mine would've stayed at his company (or who knows, maybe he would've pursued baseball instead to begin with), but other than that I'm coming up blank...

its hard to imagine traumaless depictions when A Good Portion Of Characteristics are a product of trauma tbf 👁️💋👁️