#social vs reality

[nitsaholidays]

Social media vs Reality 😂🥲🏖️

Social media: Glamorous photoshoots. Reality: Trying to take a selfie without dropping the phone on my face. 😅 #StruggleIsReal#InstagramVsReality#vacation#holidays#memes#nitsaholidays

[ahappydnp]

you ever have those specific moments/clips where you're reminded dnp are just some dudes bc this is mine

me (only child) back in the day seeing them (both grew up with brothers) rough house all the time and being like D:

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Myth vs Reality

I really don’t like the stereotype that autistic people are super smart but their social skills are nonexistent. Not all of us are geniuses. Some of us are just normal, regular people.

I wish writers, directors, and others could understand that.

Spectrum Sloth

[fumifooms]

I should have touched on dark elves in my beauty standards post... Let me just slap this on here real quick. So as we went into there, beauty standards can show political dynamics and sort of reflects the politics of who get to be seen as human, who get to be seen as desirable and promoted within a society. So like, beauty is power right, in the sense that beauty standards are highly influenced by the ones in power, the ones who have the time & resources to look a certain way and the power to present that look as desirable to large groups. It’s complex and diverse but generally beauty standards are upheld by the elite, the influential.

By the former 'time & resources' thing I mean stuff like clothes, health, makeup or even cosmetic surgeries, or even simply the freedom to only go out in public when you look your best— Meanwhile the latter, the power to present that look as desirable to large groups, usually applies more to situations where it’s about a whole category of people like an ethnicity that was uplifted as the ideal. Not just in a political or economic dynamic, but discrimination on a systematic level without regard for individual appearance or action.

For example in the former, not all people who wear makeup are rich, and while makeup did historically help signal status, if you’re poor and wear nice makeup you can still touch some of that beneficial association with the beauty standards that makeup helps you attain. In the latter……. Well you get, "no, all elves are good! So the elves who do bad things must be something else!". Where, in trying to have uniform standards for a whole group, you kinda just get erased or othered if you don’t conform to expectations. The elves especially put effort into giving off this air of perfection, which they've successfully made tallmen populations believe. So, for those people, the answer that "But elves are inherently good and beautiful and perfect?" asks, isn't "well elves mustn't be inherently perfect", but instead is "there must be bad ones too, innately too." A similar phenomenon happens with the reverse too, where people will say there are "the good ones" within a group that's seen negatively.

"But Fumi, in this case the difference is purely linguistic and perceived, there’s no visual difference!" Yeah, and there being little visual distinction between two groups has never stopped people from being discriminated tbh. Different types of christians seeing each other as heathwbs for example, or the deep british vs irish hatred that has existed. A tidbit of history I find fascinating was the infamous use of "speak white" from english-speaking canadians against french-speaking canadians especially, because complicated history aside, last century as the business owners the anglophones had the power over the majoritarily francophone working class and a lot of political sway even though they were the minority in the Québec region. There’s a different cultural and ethnic identity there, and language was the most important difference between the two groups- and I suppose the most noticeable one.

The way we as social creatures and social groups categorize people and the groups they form is complex, interesting and very important to our society and the way we approach both the world and social interactions, and that's what leads to discrimination. We decide what’s important and then we decide it’s what people should be judged and distinguished by. Belonging to a group is a show of status, and can be a weaponized both ways, for and against. If you’re not worthy to be an elf, a "good" elf, then you’re not.

Interesting especially because looking at the elf portraits page there seems to be many different cultures within the elf race, so yes "good elf" vs "dark elf" is considered something like a race rather than an ethnicity or culture presumably. There's definitely a "main" elven culture since it seems pretty uniform whenever it's brought up in the adventurer's bible and the story, though, wether the differenr cultures form different communities in different places or live together as one nation. But maybe more treated like a mental illness since it’s acquired, or sometimes slang? It's not completely clear wether it's thought of as fully innate or something learned, a chosen moral failure like sin is, but with how they speak about it they do sound very essentialists, even Chilchuck seems to get a chill considering Marcille could be one. Quoting Kui's lore comic, "There are two kinds of elves, nice holy elves and evil elves bewitched by darkness". It’s just considered like an innate thing that separates them from the concept of elves... 🤔 But this sort of category being vague is often a feature and not a bug, because then they can be a boogeyman to bring up just whenever is convenient, that can fit whoever, like calling a kid a "fairy's child" for whatever behavior in the olden days, because if you don't precise a lot what a dark elf is then it can apply to whoever you see fit, and it doesn't need to be coherent or consistent. The sort of discrimination headspace that leads to the classic fascist "the enemy is both strong and weak" type rethoric.

"Dark elves" is interesting within Dunmeshi because it's about people trying to fully separate elves from the concept of bad and untrustworthy people, even though they look the same. "Elf" isn’t just a beauty standard, it is The ultimate ideal of perfection both in appearance and morality, and if something threatens that perception and reputation it has to get rationalized and compartmentalized. Those are coping mechanisms to avoid having your whole world view challenged or shattered. To tallmen who practically worship elves, it’s a huge deal!! To them that makes it make sense! Some elves are born good and some elves are born evil, simple as! No world view re-examination needed!

So for Marcille for example... It’s interesting because she has an outside view of elven society despite being elven herself. She was raised amongst tallmen, aka the people who idolize elves to this intense degree. It had to have affected her dynamics with others— not unlike the academy students, mostly gnomes and tallmen, who looked up to her as some natural-born genius, even though she did do research and study to get her skills and grades. It also had to affect her relationship with having a role model growing up (having none around except for her mother who pretty much renounced her elven culture, a novel series that sensationalizes and glamorizes elves), her dynamic with being elven itself, because even though she doesn't feel like she fully fits into it she's interested in elven culture, and she herself enforces the beauty standards around elves and acts elitist about it- as seen when tallmen actors playing Daltian Clan opera, when men are very masculine rather than very androgynous like with Laios, having long hair, having no facial or body hair. With this angle, all of this behavior of hers is very "internalized high standards that were my bible to follow growing up and so others must follow them too and these high standards must be worth upholding".

Considering everything, elves being looked up to as a role model in appearance and behavior, plus them having the reputation of being great at magic, and Marcille having grown up amongst mostly tallmen, we start understanding that there was IMMENSE pressure on Marcille to conform to that idea of an elf. She has a lot of pressure and a very high beauty & behavior compass to conform to. She also has an idealist and rigid sense of justice and morals, like how Namari is a heartless traitor for leaving instead of coming along to save Falin, and she needs people to believe she has noooo facial or body hair. She probably WAS afraid of being seen as a dark elf, aka fundamentally evil, for her dark magic research. You don't want to be a letdown, do you? You don't want to be the ugliest elf, do you? You don't want to be a dark elf, do you? You don't want to be one of the bad ones.

Shave your facial hair and deny you have any body hair. Take care of elven traditions like hair-braiding and have pride. Be the kind, smartest model student. Do magic by the book. Never do dark magic. Ah shit-

And so she hid the domain of her research, and so she hid being a half-elf.

[girltalkcollectives]

The Barbie Aesthetic Is A Dangerous Illusion

The “Barbie aesthetic” everyone’s chasing on social media isn’t real. It never was. And it’s time we stop pretending it is.

Every time I open Tiktok or Instagram, I’m bombarded with another tutorial promising to help achieve that “perfect Barbie look.” Pink this, blonde that, unrealistic proportions everywhere. But let’s get one thing straight — we’re literally trying to emulate a plastic doll. A PLASTIC DOLL.

Do you know what it would take for a real human to have Barbie’s proportions? With her original measurements, she wouldn’t even be able to lift her head to walk upright. Her neck would be too thin to support her head, her waist too narrow to fit a single organ, and her feet so tiny and arched she’d have to crawl everywhere. But sure, let’s make that the beauty standard of 2024.

The math doesn’t lie: if Barbie were human-sized, her measurements would be physically impossible. We're talking about proportions that would literally kill a person. Yet here we are, with millions of young people filtering their photos, cinching their waists, and literally reshaping their faces to look more “Barbie-like.”

And don’t even get me started on how this aesthetic has been commercialized. Every brand jumping on the Barbie bandwagon isn’t celebrating femininity — they’re selling an impossible dream. They’re marketing perfection that doesn’t exist, convincing multiple generations that they need to look like something that was literally molded in a factory.

The real kicker? This isn’t about looking like Barbie anymore. It’s evolved into this toxic mix of impossible body standards, artificially enhanced features, and a very specific type of “pretty” that excludes literally 99.9% of human beings. The “Barbie aesthetic” has become code for thin but curvy, tall but delicate, perfect but natural, flawless but effortless. Make it make sense!

What kills me is watching people defend this as “just a trend” or “harmless fun.” There’s nothing harmless about promoting beauty standards that are literally unachievable without extensive editing, filtering, or surgical intervention. Nothing cute about making young people feel inadequate because they don’t look like a mass-produced toy.

Let’s be crystal clear: no amount of dieting, exercise, makeup, or filters will make anyone look like Barbie because BARBIE ISN’T REAL. She was never meant to be real. She’s a toy. A plastic doll manufactured in a factory. The end.

The “Barbie aesthetic” isn’t aspirational — it’s dangerous. It’s not a beauty standard — it’s a beauty LIE. And it’s time we stop pretending otherwise. We need to call this what it is: a harmful, unrealistic, and frankly ridiculous standard that needs to be dismantled.

To everyone creating content around achieving the “Barbie aesthetic”: you’re not helping. You’re not inspiring. You’re perpetuating a cycle of impossible standards that’s damaging real people with real bodies and real lives.

Instead of chasing an aesthetic based on a literal toy, how about we start celebrating the incredible diversity of human beauty? How about we acknowledge that looking like a plastic doll isn’t actually the compliment we’ve been conditioned to think it is?

The next time someone tells you to embrace your “inner Barbie,” remember this: you’re not meant to look like Barbie. No one is. And that’s not a flaw — that’s being human. That’s being real. That’s being alive.

Unfollow the accounts that make you feel less than. Step away from the filters that try to mold you into this plastic perfection. It’s time to realize that the most beautiful thing you can be is unapologetically, authentically yourself.

Because at the end of the day, the Barbie aesthetic isn’t just unattainable — it’s a distraction from the real beauty that exists in our differences, our “flaws,” and our humanity.

And that’s not an opinion. That’s a fact.

[maykitz]

a while back i was reading an article about modern nunneries on some christian website and they were interviewing a mother superior (or whatever it's called) about some of the women whose process to join them as nuns she had overseen in her life; one of them she described as a 19 year old young woman, still a girl really, who had come from a broken and abusive home and was searching for safety and belonging, who was ill and insecure at first but then really started to blossom and heal, really detailed how much that girl transformed in just a few months and how well she fit and devoted herself to the others, and then she ended by saying she expelled that girl shortly before she reached 2 years because she could tell her heart was more deeply attached to their community than the faith. it's remarkable, this particular type of passionless austere cruelty that seems to be unique to nuns

[chaosbungone]

I always liked to think if I was a fucked up TMA avatar I’d be something cool like the Buried or Flesh, but the reality is my nosy autistic ass is the weirdo who’s watching your every move without blinking unknowingly serving the Eye or the weirdo who’s London Fog tea’s steam seems to follow them around like a mist and never talks to anybody cuz they’re Lonely as fuck.

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

[goldkirk]

My five happy things for the day

• paper that has a good feeling texture

• things not feeling like an emergency EVERY second of the day, only part of the time

• the fact that these cheapo stamp ink pads from Walmart a few years ago somehow still have a bit of functioning ink not dried out?

• I’m able to track and retain conversations for longer periods of time again, I’m finally finally finally feeling some progress

• putting on a warm hoodie or coat when feeling chilled

[suswous]

It’s always funny whenever ppl see historians talking abt how it’s difficult/fraught to apply modern sexual orientation identity labels to ppl in the past, and react by going ‘haha then you can’t say anyone in the past was straight either’ as if it’s some sort of a gotcha.

When like.

That is exactly the point! That’s not a gotcha, that’s what they want you to understand!

[thirdtimed]

unfortunately if i ever developed the lifeseries orv au in my head in earnest i would in no capacity whatsoever manage to be normal about it at all and like. i mean it

[oldtvandcomics]

I just wish death wasn't such an absolute taboo in our society.

My grandmother died unexpectedly. But, really? Did she really??

Once upon a time, a passer-by helped Death up when he'd fallen down alongside the road. To thank him, Death promised not to come unannounced, but to send a messenger ahead of him. Death sent illness, and fewer, and old age and grey hairs and aching joints. The man didn't recognize any of these as the promised messenger, and was genuinely shocked when Death showed up at his doorstep.

My grandmother died unexpectedly. She was old, and getting noticeably weaker for years now. The last two weeks, she could barely move her arms for pain in her shoulders. Eventually, she had to call a relative for help, who called a doctor, who called an ambulance to take her to the emergency. The next day, she died of heart failure. Unexpectedly.

She was, by a complete coincidence that we definitely won't need to worry about, almost exactly the same age as her father, when he died of sudden heart failure. Funny thing, these coincidences.

My grandfather also died unexpectedly. He had Parkinson's, and wasn't able to move much those last years. Just before his death, my mother took him to the hospital for a check-up, and left him there, then came back here where we live. According to my sister, she cried when she left my grandparents' city. At that time, we visited three times a year, so she knew perfectly well that she would be back in three months' time. Why would she cry? But no, my grandfather died unexpectedly.

The next one to go will be my aunt. It is pretty clear, has been pretty clear since she was diagnosed with cancer last year. We could, theoretically, like, prepare for it. But no, because you can't talk about death, so we can't even mention it unless I'm alone with my father.

"Thank you for helping me," said Death. "As a thanks, I will not come unannounced, but will send a messenger."

"That is a fine thing," said the man. "That way, I won't have to worry about you hiding behind every tree."

And if I say any of this out loud, then I'm an unforgivable asshole.

[aceoffangirls]

One thing about Tumblr compared to any other social media I use is that I will not let anyone in my real life know my user name or follow and find me on Tumblr. I can just be my silly little goofy self with my only fear of judgment from people I do not know.

[nightfal1n]

If Hero Organization gets axed I'll wholeheartedly blame the title first because it's so hard to find ppl who talk abt it (while also filtering out unproductive comparison with kn8...c'mon we need more adult protag who isn't overaccomplished because that covers a lot! Not every adult are awesome side character or 100% incompetent jerk there're many guy in 30s who fell inbetween and in need of being noticed /okay this gonna get long so let ends it here)

[oediex]

There's a text in my phone that I've been ignoring. An invitation. Dinner. This weekend. It's been there for four days and I haven't replied. This is not the week for it.

We haven't seen each other in a while, and the message is kind, the reaching out welcome. Friendship is desired. But this is not the week for it.

I like food and I like dinner. They've recently moved and I wouldn't have to go far. I haven't left my house for four days. This is not the week for it.

I figure out the problem. Dinner is overwhelming. It requires looking at someone's face, into their eyes, where too much is going on. A walk will be better. Next week.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi, how are you doing?

I have this trait or habit in my personality,that I'm friendly somehow: I smile whenever someone speaks to me, whenever they say a joke I laugh, I try to console people when there is need, i listen closely and help them. I've always wanted to end this because I hate myself when I do this even when people do me wrong but i still forgive them, why? cuz I feel bad for them and I wouldn't want that to happen to me(again). I treat people nicely even if they don't deserve that. Can you tell if there is something wrong with me and what I'm doing, please help me how to at least reduce this. I'm not a people pleaser,my goal of how i act is not to please them to get something from them later. Thank you

Hi love. I'm not a trained mental health professional or anything of the sort, but the behavior you're describing sounds more like fawning vs. a control-centric form of people-pleasing.

It sounds like you're (at least subconsciously) speaking to people with the expectation that they will treat you the way you treat them, especially if you're kind to them. You treat them in the way you expect to be treated (understandable and admirable!) but need to remember that people will often show you who they are, regardless of how kind you are to them. Be kind and give with no expectation of any positive responses or gestures in return (even if a "thank you" should be the bare minimum, some people just aren't kind).

Before saying or doing something for someone, ask yourself: Would I feel like I'm losing something or need a certain response in return to feel validated from this interaction? If I said or did "XYZ" thing, would I be doing this out of my own generosity or with an expectation of reciprocity or kindness from someone else?

As harsh as it might initially sound, eventually you learn that you need to put your own happiness first and only go out on a situational/emotional limb for someone when it is like a gift to yourself for your own peace of mind rather than a gift to them.

Hope this helps xx