#so serious when i say i was pandered to so hard

[tearsfallingdownat-theparty]

i wish i could write paragraphs about how much i loved glass onion as a sequel to knives out and how it echoed the same theme and how much i love benoit blanc because he is a character who CARES !!! and is shown to be stronger and smarter for his caring and i love him but all i can say is glass onion’s new york times mini crossword and clue references literally made the movie for me before i put any critical thought into whether it was good or not and that’s the truth

[yuri-is-online]

Why So Rude? (Or Yuu's BF Asks Crewel for their Hand in Marriage and What Happens Next Will Shock You)

For legal reasons, this is a joke. I have been dealing with a health issue of sorts (i am not dying so no worrying ok? just v annoyed) so writing longer stuff is escaping me at the moment, enjoy some crack while I take a breather. More can be found on my masterlist here.

NO (FLOYD, Rook, and Malleus)

Crewel has been in denial about this "relationship" since it started. Not that his disapproval is really going to stop Floyd, but Crewel 100% refers to him as "Yuu's ex boyfriend" much to the confusion of... everyone who hears that. They do find some common ground in their shared interest in fashion, but Crewel has never forgiven him for his behavior in his class OR his "stealing" Yuu's heart.

Rook on the other hand he didn't have too much of an issue with until he realized just how familiar he seemed to be with his home for someone who had supposedly only been there to visit you. The twenty page letter he wrote to confess his feelings to you didn't help either once he saw the few lines where Rook wrote about the beauty of your finger prints, but he knows his disapproval means very little to someone as obsessed with romance as Rook.

Malleus... is the King of a country genuinely hostile to humans and Crewel thinks he is a little too obsessed with Yuu for his own good. He is also not a fan of how condescending Malleus is towards his disapproval, but it's an issue that will be worked out eventually. They are fighting out of love for the same person, your safety and happiness is all they really care about at the end of the day.

No, but as a joke (Sebek and Jack)

I don't think he has anything against him really, he just wants to see how important tradition and the opinion of his elders actually is to him. When Sebek begins to plead his case because he does not wish to put a wedge between Yuu and their father figure, but cannot deny his feelings for Yuu Crewel's more than happy to "change his mind." He knows you will be happy and well looked after.

Jack is a solid partner, and he is a wolf beastman who speaks of Yuu as his soulmate, his one and only, his eternal life partner and- well. Crewel just can't resist a bit of teasing, he's always been so serious and easy to fluster about these sort of things. The sheepish look on his face when he realizes Crewel has been teasing him makes it very worth it.

I can't stop you can I... (Leona, Kalim, and Rollo)

While Crewel has faith that Leona has what it takes to save his home- he lives in the Sunset Savannah. That is really far away from the Queendom of Roses ( ; ω ; ) have some pity on your poor father he can't travel that far all the time it's bad for his skin. The pressures of being the partner of royalty is something he worries over, but a smug promise from Leona to protect you soothes his worries somewhat.

The flippant way Kalim talks about the assassination attempts is not the way Crewel wants to hear about attempts on your life or heaven forbid your death. Kalim is very sympathetic to this, he has no real argument against how ignorant he was in the past, but he isn't a child anymore. Just filled with a childlike love for the world and determination to make it better. It is hard to say no to that.

Rollo is too much like Trein. His request for your hand in marriage feels like something that the old man would cry tears of genuine joy over, so of course he hates it. Unfortunately he also knows how much this teen grandfather matters to you or whatever so the answer will be yes. At least he has an excuse to visit Fleur City more now.

Give me one good reason. (Azul, Jade, Idia, and Lilia)

Azul was such a good student that he should have zero complaints that you started dating. But he also isn't blind and dislikes being pandered to, which is very much what Azul is doing here. He does wonder briefly if this is a cultural thing and he is being insensitive, but he is still exasperated enough to not immediately say yes. The strange twinkle that comes to Azul's eyes at the prospect of negotiations makes him wish he had though.

Speaking of not being blind, what does the Leech family do and is it legal? Survey says probably yes, but Crewel remembers dealing with Jade's parents while he was in school and has no desire to feed his child to the shar- err eels. Jade immediately begins to sniffle, oh how could Crewel say such bad things about him? A poor innocent eel and blah blah blah. If Jade wasn't such a good partner he'd be cooked.

Crewel understands and appreciates the effort Idia has put in to his personal growth and he has no desire to shit on that... but S.T.Y.X. and the secrecy around it is no joke. He wants to continue having a relationship with Yuu and as soon as Idia reassures him of that he has no more objections.

Lilia is an old man, a war criminal, and a father. Of course Crewel has seen how he was able to live as a student while at NRC but his own credit as a father would be under fire if he didn't object mildly. Lilia has some fun with it and has a bit more respect for him for objecting. So long as the eventual answer is yes.

Yes (Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jamil, and Epel)

While Crewel does have some red flag concerns concerning Riddle's mother, he has no real objections to Riddle himself. He is a perfect gentlemen and the correct amount of nervous to be asking the question. He gets full marks, as if there would ever be any other outcome.

Trey is that sort of solid option that parents really love, but he also has that tight personal relationship with Crewel from his Science Club days. He lives in the Queendom and is tight with his own family there are few better places for Yuu to be.

While Cater isn't Crewel's favorite student, he doesn't hate him or the Shaftlands. He is also not entirely unconvinced that him asking is for a magicam trend but! He has no real major objections. He is more than ready to have two kids, as soon as Cater is willing to admit he could use a stable father figure.

I don't think that Ruggie would even suggest marrige unless he's obtained that stable, high paying job he so baldy wants and has moved his Granny out of the slums. It's the perfect time to ask for permission to propose, and while the Savannah is still super far away (r.i.p. Crewel's skin) he is much more supportive of the two of you and how far you've come.

Similarly to Ruggie, I don't think Jamil would propose to Yuu unless his personal issues with Kalim and his position with the Asim's had been sorted. He wants to actually travel on his honeymoon, and Crewel is very willing to suggest the Queendom of Roses. Jamil's ego is absolutely stroked by how Crewel had zero objections but your adoptive dad doesn't get to see how smug it makes him, Jamil saves the smirks for when you say yes.

I think that Crewel seems to like all of the first years, and Epel is no exception. Sure, his request starts out well put together and polite but devolves into a dialect that leaves Crewel with no idea of what he's saying, but he has a general idea. Of course Epel has his blessing, Harveston sounds like a lovely place for Yuu to live their life in Twisted Wonderland and Epel a perfect person to keep them safe and happy.

He already planned the wedding (Ace, Deuce, Silver and Vil)

I know what you're saying. Crewel approving of Ace? Of course he does! He was in his homeroom class, and Crewel has a soft spot for trouble makers from the Queendom, he was one after all! Sure he might have had some problems with him when you first started dating, but now, when he is deathly serious saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? Crewel has been waiting for this since he fist saw carrot head yanking your chain.

Deuce is a much easier sell, Crewel was always a bit harsh on his intelligence, but only because he ran a tight ship and wanted him to reach for the stars. Well he has, and he has you to support him through it, Crewel is so proud of both. He and Dilla have absolutely been hypothetically planning this for years.

While Silver's curse did not endear him to Crewel for his first two years of schooling, he really grew on him when you started going out. He's glad that you've found someone who loves you as much as Silver does, really he is. Unfortunately this means he has to plan a wedding with Lilia, something they both have been doing since you started going out and never talked about. Don't worry! They only intend to fight a lot little bit.

The instant you started dating Vil Crewel entered his mother of the bride era. The permission asking was less Vil wanting to be polite and more him coming up with a way to distract him and convince him to focus on designing the clothes. Thankfully it works and no one other than his dogs have to know just how insane the prospect of his two favorite students marrying made him.

[babyboywinchester]

Hey, why do you hate Misha Collins? Can you explain please, preferably with examples, if you have time and it's not hard for you? I'm just trying to understand, because half of the internet literally in love with him and half of the internet hates his guts, so I want to know why.

I could delve into this, if you’re actually being serious, but it’s hard to tell anymore. I will refer you to @nancylou444’s very extensive list of problematic things he has done.

In short, I find his pandering and lack of a spine to be abhorrent and unbecoming. He continually throws scraps to his rabid base of fans who in turn harass, threaten, name call, and bully others who don’t share their point of view. (That Destiel is TOTALLY ACTUALLY CANON and anyone who says otherwise is HOMOPHOBIC)

His opinion changes depending on whoever is in the room, he says things when he’s alone with a group of frothing at the mouth gay fetishizers, but the second someone is around that can call him on his shit he is 😶. You didn’t see him saying Cas and Dean would be “balls deep” with Jensen or Jared on stage did you? No, because they would have shot that shit down immediately. He does it to stay relevant with a select few fans because he knows that’s all he has. He isn’t a well known or well liked actor. He has no prospects outside of Supernatural and the con circuit and he needs to make money. What better way than to get this gullible rubes to loosen their wallets and give him their hard earned cash when all he has to do his say Destiel was totes canon and TPTB were too homophobic to let it happen.

“Half of the internet” is a very skewed statement. He only seems as popular as he is because this is tumblr and the fans are particularly rabid here… but outside of that, on the internet as a whole and with the general population he is not known or liked at all. It’s only within the destiehell circles.

If this was a genuine ask then I hope that answers your question. I thank you for sending it and hope that helps! If you yourself are a fan of him that is fine. That is your choice and don’t let my feelings about him take away from your enjoyment, but I would ask that you don’t descend to the levels of his other fans who choose to harass people because they see him for what he is.

🩷

[lakesbian]

can I please hear more about how sy and jamie don’t have the usual wildbow "no homo" vibe.

i'm extremely interested after seeing the quotes you pull out.

so when i call something a Wildbow No Homo Moment i'm referring to the moments where his writing demonstrates disdainful, spiteful, defensive insecurity about the idea of characters he's envisioned as straight being viewed as gay. when he did shit like write lisa literally turning to the camera after hugging taylor to tell people not to get the wrong idea & forum post about how all of the undersider girls are straight and "pandering is pandering," the clear message was that he thought characters being interpreted as gay would automatically ruin the meaning of their relationships: turn them into something cheapened and emotionally shallow, something silly and stupid and inferior to a normal, meaningful friendship between two normal, heterosexual women. it says a lot abt how he was viewing the idea of his characters being seen as gay (& obviously viewing gayness itself) as like. a grubby, vapid, self-centered, annoying intrusion onto his Well Written Female Friendships. it's fundamentally refusing to take the possibility of his main characters being gay seriously, and demonstrating that refusal by mocking and rejecting the possibility at every opportunity.

now to be clear. this isn't touching on the subject of whether or not we should get after wildbow for other complaints about jamie. but sy and jamie do not have that specific brand of wildbow no-homoing going on, at all. there's not that dripping spiteful insecurity about the idea of them being interpreted as gay--they're literally constantly holding hands, snuggling close, talking intimately together, etc., and it's never followed by sy turning to the camera and going "OH BOY I LOVE BEING HETEROSEXUAL AND SURE HOPE NO ONE INTERPRETS MY PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH JAMIE AS MEANING I'M GAY FOR HIM!" in fact, jamie is gay, and he is severely in love with sy, and it is taken as serious and meaningful and interesting and worthy of heavy narrative focus and emotional contemplation. you could call it bad taste in other ways, but sy being straight and confronted by The Difficulty of it is already not the same thing as wildbow blowing airhorns and going "fuck you for wanting to imagine characters as gay" every 3 seconds. also frankly sy sitting up for several hours at 2 am trying really hard to mentally turn himself gay for jamie is so. well i can't even call it funny even though it might sound that way in a void. but it's so Something that i'm inclined to grant wildbow clemency just to see more of whatever the fuck is going on with those two

[ouatsnark]

okay i’m sure you’ve covered this at some point but this site is an abomination to search in sometimes.

i wanna ask about your thoughts on s7 ending scene of the coronation - personally i hate it because it fucks up every timeline MORE (NEAL IS OLDER THAN ROBIN!), but most importantly, it has regina as the ‘good queen’ and after EVERYTHING she did, i would have fucking rioted if i’d been a citizen in storybrooke.

she said from day one that she didnt want to be a queen, which cora pushed her into cos she was a social climber, so giving regina power over everyone and everything when her younger self never would have wanted that, seems silly. i would have loved to see her happy for SNOW to be crowned the good queen of everything and all because it contradicts what she says in the pilot. THAT wouldve been a change!

regina needed a quasimodo ending, not something she expected but something she needed - learning to be happy for others after she took it away so many times!

that being the ending just proves that being the most evil and worst version of yourself, can result in you being bestowed even more power (exactly like our society tbh) i hate how they pander to her at every turn and i hate the writers for the coronation scene

I understand your tag frustration! Every time I think I’ve figured out a good way to tag this blog I’m like “yeah, that’s probably not helping!”

I don't think I have one single, serious, post dedicated to how beyond livid I am with The Once Upon a Time writers/creators for crowning Regina the “Good Queen” and placing her above all of her victims and those currently ruling their kingdom/realm WITHOUT HER HELP.

The other rulers do not need her. If they’d done this with Killian you’d hear them screaming misogyny over placing him above Elsa, Jasmine and Merida etc etc. But it’s OK because it’s Regina. And I have a hard time believing anyone asked for her to be placed in this position when Regina has done NOTHING for them.

I must say that I absolutely love your take on how Regina’s story should’ve ended and the crowning of Snow White. In my opinion, though, Regina’s younger self eventually did want power. People’s goals in life can change and the moment Regina tasted power her want for power was ignited. She liked it. Regina very much wanted to rule as was evident in her cursing herself for eternity as mayor over everyone. She also murdered, tortured and abused an entire kingdom to steal Snow’s throne. She was also very happy to be mayor again in the S6 finale. So seeing her give up her want for power would’ve been amazing.

Regina learning to be happy for others and petitioning to re-instate Snow as queen would’ve been a huge step toward making me believe “ok, maybe she’s changed. Maybe this is her redemption.”

But, unfortunately, once again, this vile villain that committed so many atrocities was placed above her victims. What makes it even more unforgivable is that she never apologized or showed remorse for what she’d done to them. She still had her vault of hearts for pities sake! For all we know that crowd there was being controlled by Regina!

I have always felt that the ending should’ve been centered on Emma and her family and not on the villain that destroyed their lives and doesn’t regret it. It should’ve been a coronation for Hope and the crowning of Snow White. it would’ve been nice to see Snow actually be Snow White again like they eluded to in S5 but never followed through with. You could say her goals in life also changed as her story progressed but I just felt like it was a regression for her. She was a strong leader that led with compassion just like her father. I’d have so liked to see Snow become who she was always meant to be and not just someone standing in Regina’s shadow.

I also do not like how the Wish People were there. Season 6 wish realm already didn't make sense but Season 7 completely destroyed whatever little sense it did make. Regina having two Henry’s to love her was absolutely absurd especially since the fake Henry forgave Regina for no reason after she murdered his grandparents and took away the only mother he’d known. This isn’t on Emma either as Regina told her that all the people in the wish realm weren’t real. Well, they aren’t fake are they if Regina was about to give up everything for fake Robin and now treats fake Henry like another son…? So where is justice for Wish Snowing?! Oh right where all of the other victim’s rights to justice are: ignored, forgotten and buried or turned into Regina being the victim instead.

I am 100% with you on just absolutely hating the message that Once Upon a Time sent in regards to Regina. It’s just vile. And I fully believe that this wouldn’t have been the case if LP wasn’t a beautiful woman. It is only because she is beautiful and a woman that this is even applauded.

[dark-elf-writes]

“Slytherin isnt bad,” the red headed boy on the train says to Harry. “My brother Percy is one. According to my other brothers Fred and George, nobody does anything without his say so.” Ron grind. “Malfoy is in for a sore surprise when he gets in and they don’t just pander to him. Bet he’s expecting it.”

Percy, who stopped by to check on his youngest brother and summoned Neville’s toad. Who had offered to place a small spell on their door to prevent people who just wanted to see the Boy Who Lived from finding them.

(Percy who looked at his youngest brother and saw a badger instead of a lion. Who'd already pulled the twins aside before to tell them it didn't matter where they went. Who had been the first to clap when two redheads went to Ravenclaw, their love of knowledge even it was to learn to prank leading them.)

Its a different Harry sitting under that hat.

(sorry couldn't resist)

Harry who gets support and care from the moment he meets the Weasleys.

Who makes a friend over a pile of junk food and failed spells. Who laughs so hard he nearly chokes on a chocolate frog when Ron makes a face at whatever terrible flavor of bean he got. Who is still feeling light and bubbly with joy when they talk about houses and Harry confesses he’s heard some… things from Hagrid that he didn’t know how to feel about (as kind as Hagrid had been, Harry had never trusted a word from an adult’s mouth. Adults lied all the time whether on purpose or because they had lied to theirselves so much that they tricked themselves into thinking they knew the truth. Adults had lied about him for years after all, accused him of things he didn’t do or called him bad for things that Dudley made up. Why would he trust them?).

Ron, surprisingly, gets serious at his words. Sits up straight and looks at him with those deep blue eyes and a smudge of dirt on his nose.

“No house is all good or all bad. My brother told me that, and he’s pretty much always right. Percy has been in Slytherin for years and he’s not dark or evil or whatever. He still holds Gin when she cries and fusses when I try to eat dessert before dinner. ‘S just a place, innit? Places don’t make you bad just by being places.” The serious mask cracks and suddenly Ron looks just as impish as his brother had when they had been yelling about toilet seats. “‘Sides, Percy is there. If anyone could turn a bad place good it’s him. Even tossers like Malfoy won’t stand a chance against him.”

Harry isn’t so sure how one person could make an entire house good (the train was bloody massive and if even a forth of the people on it were Slytherins what was still a lot of bloody Slytherins). Or at least, he wasn’t until he met Percy Weasley.

He was already in his robes, perfectly pressed and unapologetically green around the edges as he eased their door open. He takes in the sight of them, still red faced with joy and surrounded by sweets and wrappers alike, before tossing a wrapped sandwich (different from the smashed one Ron had pulled form his pocket earlier, perfectly preserved with Ron’s name written on it in a meticulous hand) to Ron with a pointed look.

“Eat something of substance, and try not to ruin your dinner, Ronald. Do share with your friend too. The two of you need something other than sugar in you or you will both be sick halfway through dinner.”

Percy didn’t seem evil. A bit fussy maybe, protective certainly after he had headed off a group of giggling older girls whisper Harry’s name and peering into compartments, downright kind when he had helped Neville find his toad and had passed it back to the trembling boy with steady hands and a soft look that screamed older brother. He just seemed like a person. A nice person even. Harry could have picked him and Ron out as brothers even without their matching noses and hair.

Harry thought he liked him. Even if he was getting close to being an adult.

It was Percy’s expression as he handed Neville his toad and Ron’s voice in his ears (“Places don’t make you bad just by being places.”) that Harry held in his mind as the hat fell over his eyes and a voice resonated in his head. An adult voice. Did hats count as adults?

“You would thrive in any house you know,” That voice croons too close and too loud in the space between his ears. Harry was definitely regretting all the pumpkin pasties before dinner now. “But you already seem to have your mind made up.”

Cunning and ambition weren’t bad. Weren’t evil. They had kept him alive after all. Had kept him one step ahead of his relatives and the bullies and everyone else that wanted to hurt him. And places were just places. And Percy Weasley wasn’t evil.

Harry Potter held his head high (not that anyone could tell with the hat dwarfing him) as the hat screamed its decision to the room.

“SLYTHERIN!”

Ron’s voice broke through the stunned silence, hooting and cheering as he jumped around in the dwindling group of unsorted first years. Three more voices joined his, just as delighted, just as kind, just as loud. His brothers from both Slytherin and Ravenclaw, filling the silence with their joy for him. With their celebration of who Harry was despite what others might think. After another heartbeat there were big booming claps from behind him, Hagrid, celebrating him even through his general nervousness around Slytherin.

They were the only ones who cheered. Harry didn’t mind as he handed the hat back and claimed the seat Percy had cleared for him under the heavy eyes of the headmaster and the rest of Hogwarts.

(Harry made sure to cheer just as loud for Ron when he was sorted into Hufflepuff, shouting until his voice strained and Percy nudged a cup of tea toward him with a pointed look and a smile that took away all hear that might have been behind it.)

[sapphic-agent]

I realize this is a little bit of a mixed bag, so let me explain my choices a little. I tried to use characters who had a) a solid backstory/justification for their actions/ideals, b) clear goals/aspirations, c) substantial and visible development, and/or d) a clear role in the story that was well-executed.

Lady Nagant was an easy option here; her backstory perfectly explains why she ended up the way she did and her goals aligned with that backstory. The only thing I would say holds her back is her lack of influence on the overall narrative, as well as her development not holding up as well as it should have. This was in no small part due to lack of exposure

Some nitpicking aside, I do believe Toshi is a well-written character with a great backstory and solid development. But he does lose points for the Bakugou pandering. Not because I hate Bakugou, but because it compromises his role in the narrative as Izuku's mentor. His failure to address how detrimental Bakugou is to Izuku's progress undermines his development as Izuku's mentor. There were also a lot of chances for his development to be even better that just weren't taken

Iida might be an odd choice, but honestly? He has one of my favorite arcs. Where the narrative fails to address Izuku's ideals about heroism, it perfectly corrects Iida's. And unlike with most characters, Horikoshi is actually consistent about it. Iida had the second lowest rescue points in the Entrance Exam. But we see his preconceived motions about heroism challenged in the Stain arc, his only saving grace being that his friends were determined to save him first and foremost. Then in the PLA War, he's the one who runs to aid Izuku and Shoto first. He's also the one to reach out and get through to Izuku during the Dark Hero Arc (yes, I know this scene is controversial but ignoring Bakugou's involvement, Iida comes off looking the best in terms of saving Izuku). The only thing holding his development back is lack of exposure and attention. I'm being so serious when I say he could have been the best character in MHA if Horikoshi had put a little more effort into him

Monoma is probably my oddest choice. But for what he is, he fills his role pretty damn well. He's an antagonistic jerk whose role in the story was primarily to give 1A a hard time. This wasn't changed about him either, but we also saw other facets to him. Instead of negating how "awful" he was, we saw other sides of him in addition to it. One thing I do have an issue with is that it feels like Horikoshi's insistence on making him overtly antagonistic had to do with how he criticized Bakugou. It seems like he made him overly spiteful, as Horikoshi tends to do with people who don't kiss Bakugou's ass

Anyway, those are the four I can think of off the top of my head. I'm not snubbing anyone who isn't on this poll, I probably just couldn't think of them at the time

[justrandomfanfictionskh]

We Should Have Stayed in Gotham ch5

(Almost every Maribat fic I read has the akuma class going to Gotham. But tell me which is more likely, a class touring the city of crime, or a class touring the city of lights? So here it is, the Daminette fic that only I asked for, where Gotham goes to Paris, and the poor students have to grapple with the fact that they have competition for the most dangerous city in the world. I wonder what will happen?)

ao3 Beginning Previous

Everyone froze when the Akuma Alert sounded and looked at their phones. However, this time the information provided was significantly less helpful than the first time.

ALERT UNKNOWN AKUMA

Possible Level: 1-3

Location: 15th Arrondissement

Suspected Power: Transforming Victims into Teacups

Avoidance Protocol in Effect

Ladybug: MIA

Chat Noir: MIA

(If you have more information on the akuma submit it here: Link)

Damian looked around and saw the Parisians visibly relax, and then move about their day as if nothing was happening. Which made sense. This was a low level akuma on the other side of town, the odds of it affecting them were decidedly low and, according to the government site, simply turning around when you see the akuma would keep you safe. 

Still Marinette stood up. “I’m going to check with the teachers, make sure this doesn’t interfere with our schedule,” she said before leveling a finger at her friends, and for some reason Damian, saying, “No killing. I’ll be right back!” 

She wasn’t even gone five seconds before, Chloe steepled her fingers like a Bond villain and said, “So we’re killing Lila. Who’s in?”

“Chloe!” muttered the silent Juleka who had joined them with her GA partner, Matt, a few minutes ago. “Marinette said–”

“That we shouldn’t kill anyone,” Sabrina said cheerfully, “She didn’t say anything about planning to kill someone!”

Juleka muttered something as she hid behind her hair, as if that would abscond her from their criminal ways. But before any real murder plans could be concocted Kathryn asked, “I don’t get it. I mean if everyone knows she’s lying, and only the Enablers are pandering to her then what’s the big deal? She’s not causing any serious harm, is she?”

“It depends on what you mean by serious harm,” Sabrina said gently. 

“Example!” Alex shouted, “Here, she said this literally five minutes before you all turned up.” Alix cleared her throat dramatically and then clasped her hands together, and in a voice reminiscent of a 1950s Disney princess said, “‘Oh you know, I spent a summer in Gotham! Yeah, I helped Batman stop the Riddler by solving one of his puzzles. It was so hard. And afterward Batman and Robin invited me back to the cave for a tour! It was so cool, and Robin was so sweet! I’d talk more about it, but I’m so parched. Alya can I have a sip of your coffee? I’d ask Marinette, but you know how selfish she can be.’”

She turned to Sabrina who giggled and mimicked Alex saying, “‘Oh, of course Lila! Here just take the whole thing. I’m finished with it. So, what did Batman say when you solved the riddle?’”

Every single Gothamite at the table cringed, and Damian scowled deeply, but it was Alice who spoke, “If you guys had come to Gotham, and she had said that, then she would have gotten killed!”

Alex waved her hand dismissively, “Lila’s not an idiot. If we had gone to Gotham, I doubt she would have said anything that would have put her in danger. Unless…Damn it! Why couldn’t we go to Gotham?! We could have gotten one of the Rogues to do the dirty work for us!”

“The point,” Chloe said pointedly, “Is that Lila reinforced the idea that Marinette, who is an angel, is selfish and hates her. And Alya gives Lila her coffee every morning, and today Alya was using her limited addition Heroes Day Travel Mug. They made a hundred of them, but only twenty were sold due to…complications during the celebration.”

“Akuma,” the other girls said in unison. 

“Level ten,” Juleka muttered. 

Chloe moved her phone so that they could see a picture of said mug, and she continued, “Resell price is €100, but would go for three times that at auction.”

“But Alya’s mug would start at €10,000,” Sabrina said, “And go for five times that, because it was signed by Chat Noir and Ladybug. We don’t know how she managed that because Ladybug almost never gives autographs.” 

“And Chat Noir?” Damian asked.

“Hands them out like candy,” Chloe said reclaiming her phone. “The point is that mug was irreplaceable. And because Alya idolizes the heroes, to her it’s priceless.”

“And she’ll never see it again,” Alex supplied, “And probably get akumatized when she realizes it’s missing. She probably didn’t even realize that she had brought it today. I’ll bet you five euros, Lila only ever asked for Alya’s coffee so that she could get that mug.”

“No bet,” Chloe said as the Akuma Alert pinged to let them know that Ladybug and Chat Noir had arrived on the scene, “I’d rather bet on this akuma. Ten euros says it’s a little girl whose tea part got canceled.”

“Mm,” Alex said, “No, I bet that no one showed up to her tea party.”

“The parents of Paris know better by now,” Sabrina cried, “Fifteen says someone at her tea party said something mean.”

Juleka muttered something, about them all being awful which was quickly echoed by Alice crying, “Seriously? That’s a little girl! You people bet on this?”

“Oh!” Chloe scoffed, “Like you don’t bet on which Wayne gets kidnapped every time they have a Gala!”

The Gothamites blushed and very pointedly did not look at Damian. He just rolled his eyes, “Of course we do,” he said, “In fact Todd owes me ten dollars, from the last Gala. But I am more curious about Hawkmoth’s obvious idiocy. I mean, does he truly believe a little girl turning people into teacups is going to achieve his goal? It is ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous,” the Parisians cried giggling, but Chloe just rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not ridiculous,” Chloe scoffed, “When you consider the numbers.”

Damian raised an eyebrow and Sabrina explained, “Year one of the Miraculous War saw Hawkmoth akumatizing one person per week, with a level 10 happening every other month. Year two, one akuma per day and a level 10 occurring every other week. We are now on year three, and on average there are two level 1-5s every day, and one level 6-10 every week. Although if there is a level 10, we only get one akuma the next day.”

“He’s wearing you down,” Will said, “Wearing the heroes down.”

The Parisians nodded their exhaustion seeping into their expressions. It was Juleka who spoke, “Ladybug and Chat Noir are getting stronger, but so is Hawkmoth. Every now and then he’ll enact a plan that almost succeeds. Queen Wasp, Heroes Day. But when those plans fail, he goes back to torturing the city. In the end, something will break.”

 There was a silence until Marinette returned with the good news that the day would go on as planned. But as she ran over to them, she tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. She would have face planted if Kim, who had just left the Museum, had not caught her, before joining his own friend group as if this was a perfectly normal occurrence. 

“That necklace,” Damian said, pointing to the smooth, grey, circular stone pendant with five mice icons on it. “You weren’t wearing that before.”

The Gothamites ignored him, but the Parisians narrowed their eyes. It was strange, But Marinette just brushed it off, “I got it in the gift shop on the way back. I thought it looked nice. So, what did I miss?”  

They didn’t have time to answer her questions however, as the last pair left the museum. It was time to return to the school for the “Getting to know you party.” Damian was not looking forward to the mundane and trivial socializing that this would entail. So, he stayed close to Marinette and her friends, whom he deemed to be of adequate intelligence. And it was a good thing too. 

For some reason, Marinette had suddenly become dangerously and inexplicably clumsy. She still had that spark of intelligence and competence that had convinced Damian that she was worth the time spent getting to know her, but every third step she seemed to trip on her own feet, fumble her phone, or run into a random object or person. It would have been humorous, if Damian had not seen her racing through the Louvre, dodging classmates and artifacts with almost inhuman grace and skill. In the end, it just made Damian suspicious.

But he did not have time to dwell on it too long, because they separated to drive back to the school. Once there, they were led into the art room, where banquet tables of Paris’s finest pastries and sandwiches were prepared, and popular music was playing. The teachers stepped to the side so that the teens could mingle. And once everyone had their food the party began. 

Damian turned to Marinette hoping to engage her in conversation when their phones went off. The green letters read. 

AKUMA DE-EVILIZED

Akuma: China Doll

Threat Level: 2

Power: Turning enemies into China Cups and friends into China Dolls

Akumatized Object: A Decorative Spoon teaspoon. 

Damage: None

Transformed: 50

Injuries: None

Casualties: None

Action Caused: No one came to victim’s tea party.

Akuma Prevention Note: Parents should encourage proper and healthy socialization in their children. Teachers should prevent alienation and bullying in school. No Tolerance!

Damian turned to discuss this with Marinette, but she just smiled and set down her plate. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I have to get something from my locker. Excuse me.” And with that she was gone. 

Damian sighed, and prepared himself for a tedious afternoon as the Parisians exchanged the bet money, and the Gothamites exchanged the new information about the akumas and the class. Damian turned to disappear into a corner of the classroom, or perhaps examine some of the students’ projects, when he came face to face with the last person he wanted to speak to.

“Hi,” Lila said holding out her hand, “I’m Lila Rossi. You’re Damian Wayne, right? Oh my gosh, I’m such a fan. Alya told me you speak French. Please say you do; my English is dreadful!”

Damian narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance, but said in French, “I do. Please excuse me.”

“Whatever Marinette told you,” Lila said stepping in front of him, her pinch faced in simpering embarrassment. “Please know it’s an exaggeration. It’s true I do have a lying disease, but I am trying to get better. It’s just Hawkmoth, you know. He makes everything so hard.”

“Perhaps,” Damian said his scowl deepening, “But that does not mean that I must listen to your useless drivel. Please, excuse me.”

He shoved himself past her, but before he could even make it three feet away, a second annoying voice shouted, “Hey!”

Damian silently groaned, as he turned to face the scathing voice of Alya Cesaire. She stormed up to Damian, slinging her arm around Lila’s shoulders and fixing him with a glare, which might have been threatening, if he hadn’t been so assured of her incompetence. “She was just trying to say hi! No need to be rude!”

Behind her several Gothamites shook their head in exasperation. Even the students who had never seen him before, were well aware of his reputation. Chad stepped forward giving the girls a smile that would often get him slapped or fawned over (depending on the girl) and said in French, “Oh don’t bother with the Ice Prince. He’s always like that.”

“Just because he’s ‘like’ that is no excuse!” Alya cried. “He should apologize!” 

“Ten euros on Alya getting akumatized,” a harsh whisper reached Damian’s ear.

“No way, do you see his face, fifteen on the Gothamite.”

“Oh, you’re on!”

“Guys! It hasn’t even been ten minutes!” A third voice whined. 

Damian’s scowl deepened. This was ridiculous! But he was better than that. He was better than them. The moment he had decided that the akumas were real, he had resolved against ever joining their list of victims. His training and obvious risk aside, the idea of someone controlling him was grating. So, he attempted the deep calming breath he had seen Marinette and her friends do and tried again. 

“I have no need to apologize,” Damian said icy but calm. “I did nothing wrong. It is your ‘friend’ who cannot take a hint. I suggest she leave me alone. I have no interest in engaging with liars and manipulators.”

“You jerk!” Damian turned toward the new, slightly squeaky voice stomping up to him. A small girl in pink was storming up to them in a fury, and Damian thought she looked like a small kitten for all the good her threatening expression was doing for her. “Lila has a disease!” She cried. “You need to apologize! Can’t you have compassion for someone who is sick and unable to help themselves?”

Damian scowled, as Sabrina and a tall blonde boy dashed between them. “Everyone—" the boy began, but before he could continue, Damian sneered,

 “If Miss. Rossi was incapable of helping herself then she would only just be above the rat she actually is. However, since she is completely capable of controlling her own actions, I think it’s fair to say that she’s not even worth the consideration of a rat.” Everyone gasped as Damian fixed the full weight of his glare on the small blonde girl. “As it is, her ‘disease’ is inconsequential.”

The small girl’s gasped, her eyes watering as Lila began to cry into Alya’s shoulder. Damian tilted his chin up in victory, but then looked around to see everyone else, including the teachers looking at him in absolute horror. Marinette was standing in the doorway, fixing him with a look that could only be translated as, “Seriously!” 

Damian was confused only for the five seconds it took for a purple butterfly, that glowed with its own dark light, to fly through the window and vanish inside the blonde girl’s bag. “Right,” Damian thought, as a glowing butterfly mask appeared over the girl’s face. “Emotional Terrorist.”

“Run!” Someone shouted, and the class dissolved into chaos. Damian took a defensive stance. He had caused this akuma, it would want him. He needed to face it to keep the others safe. 

He watched in horrid fascination as the girl’s soft features transformed into a scowl. “Yes Hawkmoth,” she hissed, as the teachers violently began typing something on their phones. She reached into her bag and pulled out a perfume bottle that was glowing the same, purple black as the butterfly. A hand grabbed Damian’s wrist and pulled him away with a force that had Damian stumbling, even as he turned back to see a black and purple (for lack of a better word) goo encase the girl. 

All around him people’s phones were going off with a notification that read,

AKUMA ALERT: LEVEL 4

Akuma: Princess Fragrance

Gas Mask Protocol and Local Shelter Protocol in Effect. Everyone within the 12th Arrondissement put on gas masks and evacuate to the nearest Akuma Shelter. More instructions to follow.

 Ladybug: ON THE SCENE

Chat Noir: MIA

Damian turned to the person who was dragging him through the school. The young woman was dressed in a black body suit with red body armor covering her torso, arms, and legs. The red was patterned with small black polka dots, which should have looked ridiculous, but was somehow natural. Her black almost blue hair was done up in pigtails, which had screamed innocence in her pictures. But when she looked back, she fixed Damian with such a scathing glare, the Demon’s Heir flinched. But he understood.

He had been hoping to contrive a way to meet Ladybug during this trip, but he had not wanted it to be like this, running from an akuma of his own making. But he had no time to process the implications of that as a strange noise started echoing down the hallways behind them. It was the sound of a dozen voices singing, “At your service Princess Fragrance!”

Damian looked back to see a pink cloud chasing them down the hallways. The shapes of students and teachers, bent down to a distorted silhouette of a girl. Her maniacal chackling sent a shiver down Damian’s spine and spurred him to run faster, even as the cloud surged forward with quickening speed.

“Brace yourself!” Ladybug cried, and Damian barely had time to snap his head forward, before she had pulled him against her, and thrown them out the window in a shower of glass and metal.

If Damian had been anyone else he probably would have screamed. But since he was him he only hissed, as the spotted hero swung them on top of a nearby building. “Ok,” Ladybug said. As she released him, she flicked open her yoyo and began typing hurriedly on it. Damian stumbled as he regained his balance and focused on his savior.

The way she stood made her seem taller than she actually was, which surprised Damian. All of the pictures of her were all from a distance, or from bellow, so to see that the “Savior of Paris” was actually quite short threw him for a moment. Especially since, her face was still fixed in that withering glare that honestly could have rivaled the Batglare. It made him pause and reevaluate all of his opinions on her. But it was her eyes that gave the look potency.

Her eyes were so blue they practically glowed. No, they were glowing. It was clear to Damian, that the miraculous had given her some enhancements, but even with them she was still probably physically weaker than other meta he knew. And yet her eyes glowed with a power that she did not use, fixing him to the spot. And yet there was still something about her that he could not comprehend. She was young.

Damian was certain of it, Ladybug could not have been three years older than him, if not younger. And yet here she was leading a team of heroes in the protection of her entire city. As the Demon’s Heir it grated on his pride, that someone of his age with less experience was in a position of power, when he was not. But as the Son of the Bat he respected her all the more for it. It was a strange war in his head, that he had been fighting for a long time. But for today, he felt that it would be best for Robin to win, so that he wouldn’t get in Ladybug’s way or alienate her completely.

“You do realize,” Ladybug said in perfect English, obviously annoyed but not angry, “That it hasn’t even been ten minutes since the last akuma? What did you do?”

Damian stiffened. If he was going to convince this woman to let him help her fight Hawkmoth, he had to make a good first impression, “A liar in our host class attempted to manipulate me against my associate. I put her in her place, and her friend was akumatized.” Damian paused tilting his head. “How did you get here so fast?”

Ladybug sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, “I was on my way back home, when I saw the butterfly. I would have purified it immediately, but I had to recharge��ok, we need to move before Princess Fragrance sends her zombies after us. Once I get you somewhere safe, I’ll be able to stop the akuma. Are you ok with me carrying you?”

“I’d prefer to run on my own,” Damian said. Hoping beyond hope that she would not force him to endure that indignity. His brothers would never let him live it down.

To her credit, Ladybug just raised an eyebrow and said, “Are you enhanced?”

“No, but I do have training in parkour and martial arts,” he said.

“That may be, but unless you have enhanced strength you won’t be able to keep up with me. Especially when I’m swinging and you’re just running.”

“I’m from Gotham,” Damian insisted.

“That means squat here,” Ladybug said with a furrowed brow. “Haven’t you talked to your hosts. Surely they would have instructed you on that by now.”

Damian opened his mouth and then closed it, remembering the images that Marinette and Chloe had painted in his mind. She was right, him being from Gotham was worth about as much as the air he used to say the words. So, he closed his mouth and glowered, which for some reason made Ladybug smile and say,

“You’re quiet a prickly one, aren’t you. I think I’m going to call you Spikes.”

“Spikes?” Damian demanded with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep,” she said, “Like your hair. You’re spikey.” As if to prove the point, she reached up to ruffle, Damian's carefully gelled hair. He reared back from her in complete bafflement which caused her to laugh, and shake her head. “Look Spikes, Princess Fragrance might just be a level four, but that’s one level away from being deadly. I need your complete cooperation on this, if you don’t want to get brainwashed and forced to do whatever twisted deed she has in mind.”

Damian sighed, “Very well, but first—”

He never got to finish that sentence, as Ladybug slung him over her shoulder like he was a bag of flour and took of across the city. Damian growled but didn’t fight her, as the sound of singing zombies grew louder and louder and the pink fog spilled out of the building. But before they were too far away, Damian looked up to see a girl with long pink hair, green skin, and a black dress march out of the building with a perfume bottle in her hand. She laughed shouting something that he couldn’t hear. But then a horde of brainwashed citizens spilled out of the building, smiling like they were on Joker venom and chasing them through the streets of Paris.

Ladybug didn’t set him down until they were completely out of sight of the zombie army and their Princess. She did have the grace to put him down on his feet, and so he easily turned to see that they were on top of a skyscraper. Based on its billboard, this particular building was dedicated to a news station. Ladybug flipped open her yoyo again, but she closed it as three new heroes jumped up onto the roof.

Viperion and Ryuko were both tall and imposing figures, but one glance told Damian, that they were just as young as Ladybug. As young as him. But they all carried themselves with a presence that Damian only saw around the adult heroes. It was something that Damian associated with true power and responsibility. It cloaked them, as it cloaked Ladybug, and there was no doubt in his mind that these were members of a coherent and well established team. Even their costumes had a uniform like quality to them as thy all fit into the same style as Ladybug's. Monochrome body suits with patterned body armor styled after whichever animal their Miraculous was named for.

 Viperion’s suit was black, and his armor had a teal scaled pattern, with a yellow diamond on the chest. Meanwhile, Ryuko’s suit was red, and her armor had black scales. A golden symbol of the three elements water, wind, lightening was embossed in the chest piece, and she had two golden horns, to complete her dragon look. Compared to them, Chat Noir looked very decidedly out of place.

His suit had not changed one bit in the three years he had been active. It was still the same leather black cat suite with the strange golden bell at his neck. And though his green cat eyes glowed with the same power that Ladybug had, there was something in his relaxed and easy posture that made him seem separate from the others. He was tall and obviously strong. But he clearly did not have the presence that the others carried.

Ladybug, Viperion, and Ryuko had the dignity of leadership and strength beyond their age. Chat Noire seemed obviously hindered by his. This fact seemed to be proved when the cat hero snorted at Damian and said,

“So, this is the one who caused Princess Fragrance. Looks like we got another Chloe on our hands, milady!”

“That’s enough Chatton,” Ladybug said stepping beside Damian. “We do not judge, remember.”

Chat Noir seemed properly chastised as the other two stepped forward. “What happened?” Viperion said calmly, strumming a…was that a lyre?

Ladybug sighed, “Lila.” All three heroes nodded understandingly, and no more questions were asked on the matter. Damian gritted his teeth at this reaction, and his hatred for the liar only grew. But he remained silent as Ladybug outlined her plan.

He listened intently as they spoke, half expecting that he would need to interject, point out a flaw in their plan, or come up with a better one. But no. Ladybug was clearly very strategic and experienced as she laid out a plan that was both simple and fool proof, provided that everyone did their part.

Damian’s eyes trailed to Chat Noir. He was clearly the weak link, but if the hierarchy of Miraculous that the SpotsOn blog detailed was correct, then Chat Noir was supposed to be equal to Ladybug, her partner and balance. Instead, he acted like a side kick, lazily swinging his leather “tail” and giving Damian narrowed looks. When he did speak it was to make a pun or joke, and Damian had a hard time figuring out what exactly he added to the group, except a place to fill. One thing was clear to Damian, if anyone was going to break ranks and cause the plan to fall apart, then it would be Chat Noir. He did not want that to happen considering it was his neck on the line.

Damian cleared his throat drawing all of their eyes towards him. “Your plan is good but it’s going to fail.”

“Excuse me?” Chat Noir demanded.

“What do you mean?” Viperion asked.

“It is too reliant on individual members. If so much as one person breaks rank, then the whole thing falls apart, and you will have to use your luck charm…is it wise to use two lucky charms in a day?”

Ladybug tilted her head examining him carefully, “So long as Cataclysm is used to act as a balance it's fine. Besides I need the charm for the cure, it's part of the spell. How do you know one of us will break rank?”

Damian looked Chat Noir up and down, and couldn’t help the sneer at his blatant childishness before facing Ladybug and saying, “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Hey!” Chat yelled and tried to charge Damian, but Ryuko held him back.

“Ladybug,” Viperion asked with a hint of amusement, “Where’d you find this one?”

Ladybug sighed, “Imagine if Ryuko and Bumble Queen were the same person and male, that’s him.”

She jerked her thumb at Damian as she said this, giving Damian a strange sense of déjà vu, but he shook it off as the boys nodded their understanding with soft “Oh’s” while Ryuko studied Damian far more carefully than before. Finally, the Dragon Hero said, “What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Your lucky charm,” Damian said turning to Ladybug, “Does it only work for specific situations, or will it always work no matter what?”

Ladybug smirked at him placing her hands on her hips. “Specific situations,” she said, “And if the situation randomly changes than it can become worthless.”

“Then—”

“Wait!” Viperion cried and then did something to his bracelet so that the snake carving on it began to glow. He then nodded for Damian to continue.

Damian arched his brows at that but continued anyway, “Then set the trap in an area completely under your control. But do not give specific instructions until Princess Fragrance is right in front of you. Once she is, command everyone as you see fit. It is the most efficient way to use your Luck Charm.”

“Ladybug!” Chat Noir demanded, “Are you going to let him talk to you like that?”

Damian sighed in exasperation but said nothing as he met Ladybug's gaze. He understood where Chat Noir was coming from. There was something in his tone of voice, that had most people believing he was arrogant and entitled. Which to be fair, he was, or at least he used to be. But he had lived six years with his father, three older brothers, two sisters, one almost brother, and one technically sister. And though he would never say it to their faces, they were all incredible warriors who had put him in his place as soundly as any of Ra’s trainers.

The arrogance might still be there, but the entitlement had been drained out of him with every spar lost, every prank war engaged in, and every birthday celebrated. But that didn’t stop people from hearing his tone and assuming the worst. He could only hope that Ladybug would look past this and see the logic of his plan, even if he was offensive about it.

The hero in question just looked at him with those glowing blue eyes, that seemed to pierce him even without the power behind them. A sly smile played on her lids as she shrugged, “I don’t know what you mean Chatton. He’s right. The only problem is our time limit. Once my lucky charm is used, we will only have fifteen minutes to defeat the akuma, and purify it.”

Damian blinked in confusion, “The Government site said your limit was five minutes.”

Ladybug’s smile became a smirk as she said, “And you think I tell the government everything? Viperion, what do you think?"

The snake hero paused for a count of three before grinning slyly and saying, "We didn't need second chance."

'The follow me," she said, and before Damian could protest, Ladybug slung him over her shoulder again. 

Next

@spicemallow @night-ngale @annastasha @ev-cupcake @hammalammadamdam @laydeekrayzee @itsemmylie @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks  @doglover82 @raven-ette @atiredartistandacat

[noodyl-blasstal]

Look into my Eyes

Day 29 of @taznovembercelebration, one more day to go! Today's prompt was "ignore" and you can read it below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's? Catch up here!

-

“You’re gonna have to kill me, Lup. I’ve had a good run, I’ll miss you most of all, but we all knew this is how it would end. It’s what I would have wanted.” Taako opens his arms wide and waits for Lup to stab him through the heart with her handy dandy kitchen sword or whatever weapon she has on hand. Tenderising mace?

“Hello Taako, lovely to see you too, why yes, I did have a great day, thank you for caring, brother mine. It’s so touching that you’re so interested in my life.” Lup grins infuriatingly instead of murdering him where he stands. Rude.

“C’mon!” Taako keeps waiting.

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Positive.”

Lup strides towards him, kitchen scissors in hand.

“Wait no! Taako wants to live, nevermind.” He tucks his arms around his chest and makes himself as small as possible. It turns out his survival instinct is strong. Who knew?

Lup wraps her arms around his ball of self-preservation, scissors discarded on the counter. “That’s what I thought. Wanna tell cha’girl what’s going on?”

“Taako’s fine, great even!” He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to lie, but it drips out easily.

“Uh huh.”

Not necessarily believably.

“Yuh huh.”

“Is it Kravitz?”

“He only cares about dead people.”

“And you’ve decided this because?”

“He’s always hanging out with them.”

“It’s his job, KoKo, and he’s not so much ‘hanging out’ as ‘preparing them for their funeral’. Slight difference.”

“Not when it involves not going out with Taako.”

“Did you actually ask him this time?”

Taako hesitates. “I see how it is, you ask ‘did you ask him Taako?’ and not ‘shall we go and tell that bastard off, Taako’?” This isn’t the support Taako deserves.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“I did ask him!” Taako’s indignant now, how dare she not believe him?

“How?” Lup says and raises an eyebrow in the way that means she’s full not going to pander to any of Taako’s bullshit.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.” Lup stares into his soul.

Taako gives up. “With my eyes.”

“You fucking what now?” Lup’s mouth is a firm line and she’s breathing deeply through her nose.

“I did the thing. You know.” He flaps his hand dismissively.

“Show me the thing?”

“You know the one, the thing.”

“I don’t, remind me.” Lup’s tone leaves no room to argue.

“You might fall in love with me and that’s illegal pretty much everywhere.” Maybe the cold hard truth will shock her out of unreasonable demands.

“Taako!”

“Fine.” Taako gives Lup his most soulful eyes.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

“I warned you! Shit! You have to leave the house, not me, it’s not cha’boy’s fault.” He’ll miss her, but it’ll wear off within the year probably.

“Oh wait, no, hang on, that’s not love, that’s a deep confusion about what the fuck you were just doing with your face.” Lup’s mouth is twitching and Taako knows she’s trying to hold a laugh in. How dare she? This is serious!

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a bit funny, Ko.”

Taako scowls. He scowls hard. Double hard in fact!

“Let's go over the facts. Here…” Lup points to the sofa. “... you go sit down, I’ll get us a drink, and we can talk it through.”

Taako flops obediently on the sofa, but ragdolls as much as possible. If he lists sadly enough to the side Lup might not decide to use facts against him.

“Move.” She says, nudging him with her toe.

Taako flops the other way, then straightens up again when he realises she’s sacrificed some of her fancy bitch presse stash for him.

Lup rolls her eyes, hands him the cup, then sits down onto the other side of the sofa and draws her legs up under her.

“So you want to ask Kravitz out.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Taako takes a long sip of his drink, decides he may as well just go with it. “Yes.” He answers anyway.

“And you’ve been seeing him three times a week for the last two months?”

“When he’s not hanging out with the dearly departed instead.”

“Yes, we’ve covered that.” Lup unfurls a leg to nudge him with her foot. “Stay on topic. So you’ve been hanging out?”

“Yes.” Taako could say more, he could say a lot more, but he’ll try and stick to the questions so she doesn’t bully him further.

“Going to dinner together?”

Taako nods.

“Sleeping over at his house sometimes.”

“Once or twice.”

“How many rooms does he have?”

This is a trap. “One.”

“Huh.” Says Lup, but doesn’t press any further.

“And on these ‘friend hang outs.’” Lup does quote marks with her fingers. “...would you say you’ve been asking him out with your eyes?”

“Yes!” Taako’s glad she gets it.

“And he hasn’t reciprocated?”

“No.” There’s no need for her to rub it in.

“Not even with his eyes?”

Taako pauses. Fuck. This was a trap in a trap. The ol’ double trap fake trap trap. If he doesn’t answer she can’t get him.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought… Taako, I have a novel idea.”

Taako keeps his mouth shut. Inclines his head. He can’t be arrested for that.

“Why don’t you try asking him with words?”

“Gross.” Taako wrinkles his nose.

He could swear Lup growls slightly under her breath.

“Why?”

“Because then he could say no!”

“So your plan is to be a corpse?”

“He likes spending time with them.”

“Uh huh. And how are you going to enjoy that time together if you’re dead?”

Taako thinks for a long moment. “Fuck.”

[insomniac4000]

A pot of Gold Part 1- ChrisMD

I'm posting the first couple of chapters here but please see my Wattpad for all the chapters when they're posted

Mae Murray was a Youtuber who grew up with another Youtuber Ethan Payne. They were close as kids going to the same Primary school, grew apart a little as teenagers but when they discovered they were both trying to do Youtube they struck up a friendship again. Life had been tumultuous for both,  there was Ethan with his weight and his mental health. It was Mae who went out in the early hours searching for him with Tobi, she sat with him for hours calming him down and got him help. In more recent times it was Mae who needed help, she had been with her boyfriend Jack since they were seventeen as they had met in sixth form college. They got engaged at the beginning of 2022 and soon after found out they were going to have a baby. Ethan was also incredibly happy that his kid would also have a play mate but sadly it wasn’t to be. Tragedy struck when in August of that year Mae went into labour four months early, despite best efforts the baby who they named Aria was not strong enough to survive. To add insult to injury further complications from the birth have made conceiving another child difficult. Mae went into herself and was utterly depressed, when she found messages from other women on Jack’s phone she fell off the deep end and ended up needing psychiatric intervention. She spent the rest of 2022 and a couple of months of early 2023 working on herself and getting herself and her life back together, returning to Youtube in March 2023 and releasing well received content since but she still had struggles but managed them for the most part, she was working hard and started to date again while she was contented she wouldn’t say she was completely happy.

Mae had struck up good relationships with all of the Sidemen as well as other Youtubers, when she first returned to the platform everyone rallied around her and welcomed her into their videos as a sign of support. Jack was also a Youtuber but it was obvious where the majority of people’s loyalties were. She was now awaiting her latest appearance which was on The Fellas Podcast to promote her newest venture, a BB3 documentary on child loss and mental health.

She discussed the show and to a point her own story with grace and decorum but when the topic of conversation moved to her Youtube channel she managed to crack jokes like no serious conversation had just taken place, it was a wonder to watch her suddenly relax and smile. 

“Honestly it was the weirdest shoot of my life, I look to my left and there’s a fucking bollock naked Harry,” Mae says placing a hand on each side of her face as she talked about the latest sideman shoot she was out. Freezy and Chip couldn’t hide their laughter as Mae continued.

“I know many women would die to be in that position but honestly not something I needed to see.”

The interview ended and to her surprise there was a lot of clapping when they had wrapped up, it was more noise then Cal, Chip and the producer could make. She looked around to see she had now amassed an audience, people were really keen to hear what she had to say not in a nosey but in a supportive way and as the fellas podcast was recorded in an office which was shared by a lot of other Youtubers so she had a lot of support in the room.

“I didn’t know I had an entourage,” Mae commented slightly embarrassed by the fan fare.

“We’re just proud of you,” Simon commented as he embraced the small woman.

“I appreciate it, but you’ve all got to stop pandering to me sometime, otherwise my head won’t fit through the door.”

“It’ll almost be as big as George’s,” Chris replied pointing to his housemate next to him who gave a ‘hey!’ Mae giggled and hugged the boys each in turn as she made her way down the line.

“How are you feeling? I think I need a break after hearing it, it was a lot of stuff” Cal asked Mae once everything had calmed down.

“I’m okay, some days are better than others when I’m okay I’m happy to talk,” Mae admitted with a small smile. She then felt an arm sneak around her waist and looked to her right to see Chris.

“Some of the boys and I are going to grab some lunch at Nando’s if you fancy it?” He asked, Theo and Harry looked on, they had a suspicion Chris was harbouring a small crush, he had pretty much told them so but Chris wasn’t the kind of person to jump on someone when they were vulnerable so he pushed it out of the back of his mind. Now Mae had expressed an interest in getting back out there; they were surprised he had yet to make a move however.

“Sounds good, talking makes me really hungry,” Mae replied with a small laugh as she looked at Chris, she had to admit she was really loving his new hair and his beard, it made him look older but in a good way. When the first met she assumed he was younger then he was but he had a boyish charm about his looks but he had now grown into a very attractive man.

Overall it was Mae, Chris, Harry, Theo, George and Arthur who went for lunch, they all squeezed themselves into a booth as it was surprisingly busy for a Wednesday afternoon. Mae was inbetween Harry and George Chris was sitting opposite her, the group deciding that the two smallest people should go in the middle.

“All I’m saying is I’ve got more cake than Arthur so I don’t see why I’m in the middle,” Chris complained.

“Shouldn’t be such a fat bastard then,” Theo replied causing the table to laugh.

“Speak for yourself!” Chris retorted as he sat in the seat grumpily. Mae was typing her order in Harry’s phone as he was closest to the counter, as she handed it to George the brunette looked down as he felt a breeze from Mae swinging her legs slightly. 

“Do your legs not touch the floor?” he asked with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Mae snapped as she looked down at them only to see a pair of white shoes opposite her just hovering above the brown floor.

“Do your feet not touch the floor either?” Mae said to Chris causing everyone to look in that direction.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Chris exclaimed banging his head on the table.

“Does your height bother you?” Mae asked now feeling quite guilty in case she had upset Chris. After the break up with Shannon Chris could get a little crabby, he confided in Mae that his depression and anxiety got the better of him a little but he was doing better now. Mae really appreciated Chris being honest with her about his own struggles in a you’re not the only one going through things so don’t be embarrassed way.

“Not usually, I filmed a video yesterday, like a vs 100 models thing and after hearing “you’re short” from about half the women it grates on you a little,” he admitted sounding a little deflated.

“Well if it helps from a pixie to a hobbit height doesn’t bother me,” Mae said in an attempt to cheer Chris up but she did also mean it, Chris was an attractive guy and his height didn’t bother her in the slightest.

“Thanks.” His eyes brightened up slightly as he sat up, Harry gave Theo a knowing look while handing the blonde his phone for his own order.

The group ordered and ate, ice was thrown at one point and some even landed in Mae’s bra which caused a scream and of course that attracted attention to them. Some fans came over and asked for photos causing everyone to squeeze in more in order to get into the photo. There was one photo in particular where it was a group of three needing to all squeeze in so everyone had to get up close. George had an arm around Mae’s shoulders and from the angle it looked like his hand was on her knee but in reality it was simply laying in the very small space between them. The pair could laugh it off, Mae having had far worse rumours and truths out there especially after the year or so she had, and George being perpetually single being linked to a woman could become a big source of humour for him and his content. It was only a rumour.

[clonehub]

what did you think of the acolyte finale? gotta say it’s hard to enjoy when it feels like the writers stopped their original plot in favor of trying to create r*ylo 2.0 :/ manny is hot and very talented but i was very interested in the twin’s story and they give them the least amount care/screen time. we got a bit more this time but it felt so rushed just so they could pander to shippers for a r*ylo fantasy 🤢

I was less focused on the reylo-ish ending with Osha and Qimir because I was supremely worried about Mae (in both a good and bad way).

She's my favorite character in the entire series, and she ended up with the most tragic ending. Begging for her sister to hear her, future not headed toward anything in particular, fighting to pull a confession out of the man who killed her and destroyed her entire way of life. Osha gets the final kill (still wish it was Mae sorry lol) and then, in order to protect her sister, Mae has to get her memory wiped.

She gets arrested. She has no idea what's going on. The feelings of pain and grief still linger in her body; she does not know the origins. Vernestra asks her what her last memory is, and it's the most traumatizing day of her life from 16 years ago -- first, the fire she accidentally started. Then, the loss of her mother. Nothing else. No other family. No other clues or details. And she'll never understand why she feels the way she does again.

(I want Mae to get her memory back)

(I know it will not happen)

(I want Osha to find mae again)

(I know it will not happen)

She's the most compelling character, to me, out of everyone in The Acolyte. Next is Osha. And to be honest...I wish the ending focused more on Mae. I know that her pain was front and center in a lot of ways but idk, I think we didn't go far enough? or maybe this is just my bias speaking. I would have loved to see Mae really lose it, but also that's not her temperament really.

(I also only just saw the episode so the memories are jumbled in my head)

Sorry this doesn't really address your question nonnie jshfdahsgfdkja but yeah....Osha and Mae don't actually spend that much time together now that I think about it. And frankly, this entire ending would have been different if Mae had just opened her mouth and told Osha what happened on Brendok when they finally reunited on Khofar. Why she doesn't say anything and just lets her self get blamed for the death of their entire family is beyond me. She didn't kill anybody! My god like. Indara killed all the witches and Sol killed their mother. Mae's fire caused serious infrastructural damage but that was like akjshdlasjdhflas AAAAAAAHHHHHH

(you know who knew what happened to the rest of the witches? Sol. Because he saw indara free kelnacca from their grip and then he saw their bodies)

[kinkandkreep]

Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhaké:ton Headcanons: As a Father

A/N: Hey hey y’all! So, as most of you may know by now, for the past week or so Ratonhnhaké:ton a.k.a Connor Kenway, the protagonist from Assassin’s Creed 3, has completely occupied my mind. Like I’m serious, it’s been exactly one (1) thought, head full of him. So, to help flush some of this fixation out of my system, I’ve taken to writing a shit ton of headcanons for him, all different au’s and themes. Today, we’ll be looking at what I envision Connor to be like as a father. Canonically, he has three (3) children, two daughters and a son. We never, however, get to see more of what he’s like as a dad, so that’s where I step in! 😁 FAIR WARNING: These are more so a combination of Modern and Canonical headcanons since I took inspiration from how I imagine Connor would behave in both timelines. With that being said, I hope you guys enjoy! And please feel free to send me any Connor related asks or requests you may have. I’d love to write more for him and interact more with my fellow Con-Con man lovers. 

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor Kenway as a Father Headcanons

Before I say anything else, and go into any detail, let me make something abundantly clear 

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor Kenway is an amazing father

He’s doting yet firm, protective but not overbearing

He’s attentive and accommodating, but not to the point of pandering and being spineless

He knows how to be gentle with his children, even from the time they’re infants and he gets to hold them for the first time

Speaking of…

The first time Connor gets to hold his child, his eyes water up like super hard

He only notices, as entranced as he is by his baby, because his picture of them becomes blurry

He’s afraid his tears will drop on his baby and startle them, so he quickly yet carefully hands her back to his wife and wipes the tears, which have now begun trickling down his face, before immediately, quietly asking for permission to hold his child again

(His wife, in her exhaustion and recovering from the sudden rush of adrenaline, thinks it’s funny and sweet that he thought to ask for permission) 

Ratonhnhaké:ton never ceases to be amazed, even as the number of times his wife gives birth increases and, subsequently, the number of his children grows

He’s just as astonished the third time as he was the first 

As I mentioned in some of my previous Connor-canons, he’s always desired to be a father and have a family

(I mean personally, before the comic came out, I wouldn’t have thought he necessarily wanted such a big family, but the fact that he apparently did positively warms my heart 😭)

Even years later, he still feels regret about the way things played out between him and his own father, and the more he contemplated why Haytham behaved in the way that he did, Connor has deduced that perhaps Haytham’s relationship with his dad wasn’t the greatest either, and that affected him to a degree

(That’s by no means meant to excuse or justify what Haytham did, but I thought it was worth mentioning)

He knows he can’t ever know the answer for certain, but with this speculation, Connor decided that he would do his utmost to be a good father to his children, regardless of what path they chose and what differences may have existed between them

We all know that Ratonhnhaké:ton can very easily become a papa bear when the situation calls for it, and he’s very unafraid of puttin’ the smackdown on people who would overstep their boundaries 

This behavior is increased tenfold once he becomes a father

Now he really is a papa bear, and anyone who would try to harm his children in any way will be dealt with. Swiftly. 

On the flipside of that however, Connor also knows that he shouldn’t coddle his kids, and that eventually they’ll have to learn to defend themselves

So, he does the obvious thing and covertly teaches them some of the fighting and self-defense techniques he learned as an Assassin 😁

It’s not full out Assassin training (outside of Io:nhiòte, who of course possesses the OG eagle vision) and he tries to keep it on the dl from his wife (who eventually finds out anyway and scolds him but nevertheless allows him to continue 🙃)

Connor and all three of his children really enjoy flapjacks (yes, flapjacks not pancakes)

I imagine that Connor and his family live in the manor and so the children each have their own rooms

They’re each responsible for the upkeep of said room once they are of age, and Connor teaches them the importance of cleanliness, in all aspects

He also teaches them respect, even to the animals who provide their food and fur/skins

When his children inevitably inquire about what it is Connor does since he wears those special robes, he decides to be completely upfront and honest with them, when they are old enough 

Prior to that, he tells them a watered-down version of the story, saying things like “I help others and make bad people go away” or even jokingly implying or outright stating that he belongs to a secret brotherhood who helps people and punishes those who misbehave 

(When the kids are younger, they eat his stories up, so fascinated and intrigued they are with whatever it is their dad does) 

I feel that Io:nhiòte is the most excitable of Connor’s kids; she’s still a polite, well-spoken girl but just a little more headstrong than her siblings 

I also feel that Connor’s son, which I believe is his second eldest child, is like him and has a very calm (almost more so than his father), even temperament 

He, again like his father, is soft-spoken and kind, and also very intelligent: he adapts and learns very quickly

Connor’s oldest, who I believe is his other daughter, is very confident and much like her mother

She is also well-mannered and independent, not liking to rely on others for much, if anything, one trait she did inherit from her dad

She takes pride in being the eldest, and always tries to lead and set a good example for her siblings 

Even with their similarities though, Connor still has had to learn to adapt his attitude and responses when engaging each of his children

He laughs at the thought, as coming to understand and subsequently better communicate with his kids reminds him of his early days of assassin training, the more mentally taxing work he had to put in

It also sometimes saddens him when he thinks about how his own father could never quite figure out how to do the same

But, all in all, Connor is just grateful that he can make a positive difference as it relates to his own relationship with his kids

Rapid Fire Round!

Connor and Io:nhiòte have their own secret language that they use when out training

(It’s mostly vocalizations and hand signals, not so much actual words)

Connor likes to have special little inside jokes with his kids, and they each have either a hand signal or handshake that is unique to them

Ratonhnhaké:ton isn’t usually one to cry at all, but he definitely sheds tears whenever any one of his kids reaches a milestone

(Like he might not outright sob but a few little diamonds surely make their way down his cheeks 😂)

When they’re little, Connor’s kids love to play in his hair (which I imagine he lets grow out a considerable amount once he’s settled down) and he’s more than happy to let them

Loves to make their birthdays celebrations for the whole of the Homestead and his wife’s village as well 

When he’s at home and the babies are…well babies, Connor oft volunteers to supervise his, Myriam/Norris and Warren/Prudence’s kid’s playdates 

I didn’t mention this in my general headcanons for Con-Con man but I actually believe he knows how to cook, and for this particular set of headcanons he does so pretty frequently for his kids, as they’re big fans of his cooking 

Connor loves to give his kids piggyback rides; his son and Io:nhiòte are particularly big fans 

When the children are little, Connor hums to them to help them sleep at night 

(His wife likes to tease him about how nice his voice is and Connor is always flustered at the compliment)

All-in-all, Connor is an excellent father, and is more than willing to give his kids the world 😁

[13eyond13]

Hey! What do you think about Berserk’s secondary characters? Such as Judeau, Luca, or Skull Night? Who’s your most and least favorite?

Ooh, thanks for asking! THOUGHTS ABOUT THE MORE MINOR BERSERK CHARACTERS:

BAND OF THE FALCON/HAWK: So the members that made the biggest impression on me aside from Guts/Casca/Griffith, in order of how much I liked them, were:

1. JUDEAU: he was probably my next most favourite member of the Band. I thought he was pretty kind and emotionally intelligent - I liked his loyal/thoughtful/peaceful mediator vibe, and I always wanted to hear what he had to say about everybody else. I'm still not ok about what happens to him in the end, it was one of the most emotionally upsetting parts of The Eclipse to me for sure...

2. RICKERT: He started standing out to me way more post-Eclipse as a character when he starts having to make more decisions on his own. I love the ways he's dealing with his grief and I was very proud of him whenever he stood up to Griffith, hahaha. I'm really interested in seeing what part he's going to play in the finale of the story, too...

3. PIPPIN: the only scene I can really remember about Pippin now is when he literally picks up Guts and drags him down to force him to hang out with everybody else, which was great. Hahaha I liked him, but I don't remember a whole lot else about him other than that? I think that he was pretty quiet most of the time.

4. CORKUS: He's probably the one you're kinda supposed to not like as much as the others in the group, as he's pretty abrasive at times. He added some spice to things for sure, and I could see why he might feel negatively about Guts, and some of the stuff he says made for interesting contrasts to the positivity/comradery going on otherwise. I didn't feel a ton of love for him at any point, but also I don't think he deserved what he ended up getting in the end either, of course...

BLACK SWORDSMAN PARTY:

1. PUCK: I'm attached to him quite a bit simply because of how much he was with us in the beginning / during the parts where Guts was wandering around all surly and angry and alone. I think he sort of gets reduced to only comic relief a bit much in the later parts of the story, but he definitely kept me going through some of the darker and more nihilistic parts with his cuteness and kindness and the way he always pointed out the stuff that was at times bugging or concerning me about Guts, hahah. Also, I love whatever weird thing he has going on with the Behelit, hahaha. It's like his little pet... feeding it cheese...

2. SCHIERKE: OK so I was kind of like OHHHNOOO at first about the kid characters permanently joining Guts traveling party, because I didn't really want the story to start attempting to pander to kids a bunch when it's so clearly adult in subject matter and themes and tone much of the time. But Schierke definitely grew on me more over time, especially in the scenes where she's interacting with Guts alone - I think her witch powers are pretty impressive, her quiet/nervous personality is usually cute, and her crush on Guts is endearing as well, haha - the way she's self-aware that it's because "he's an adult who paid attention to me, and I liked it" reminds me of the kind of things I would've been saying at that age myself. I was always trying to be serious and sensible and cautious and adult all the time as a kid about such stuff, too...

3. FARNESE: She had some of the most dramatic and interesting character development of any of the characters in the entire series, I would say. Thinking about who she was when we first met her versus who she ends up becoming later on is pretty impressive. I especially like how hard she works at humbling herself, learning new things and opening herself up to new people and new ways of thinking and being, even though she also feels completely useless and incompetent at it much of the time.

4. SERPICO: I feel almost like I'd have to reread the story to really get a handle on this character better, because he often slipped into the background for me? I think his fights with Guts were pretty interesting, but otherwise he just didn't really resonate that strongly with me or stand out to me that much, and I never felt that attached to him at any point tbh

5. IVALERA: sassy and cute, but I don't have that much else to say about her

6. ISIDRO: My least favourite of the bunch, because he often actively irritates me whenever he's on the page, and the comic relief he's supposed to provide never really hits the mark for me. I feel like he just throws off the tone of the story a lot with all the loudmouthed insecure spunkiness, like he's out of place and was meant to exist in a Shonen series like Naruto or something else instead, haha. IDK... maybe I'd warm up to him more and see why he's necessary to include more upon a second read...

OTHER NOTABLES: 1. SKULL KNIGHT: I love him a lot, haha. He's got such an oddly chill and polite vibe for what a dramatic and scary-looking presence he has. He definitely can feel very plot-devicey as a character at times, but it doesn't mean I'm not always glad to see him whenever he shows up, and I think his personal history with the Berserker Armour is pretty interesting as well

2. NOSFERATU ZODD: I like him quite a bit too... definitely the most chill of the monsters to me, haha. Chill is almost always a plus to me, especially when the character is otherwise a bit larger than life

3. LUCA: I liked her! One of the more palatable characters in that arc. Was glad she was watching out for Casca like she was...

4. CHARLOTTE: I worry about her, but I feel for her too! The fanart she kept making of Griffith made me lol tbh.. I hope nothing too bad happens to her now that she's actually hitched to him...

[wirewitchviolet]

The Entire Plot of Final Fantasy 14, with all the expansions, and some serious analysis of how good it actually is. (Part 1 - ARR)

Are you like me? Have you had people talking your ear off for years now about this supposedly amazingly good story Final Fantasy 14 has? And then you noticed that absurdly good deal free trial where you get the whole base game plus the first expansion for free and don’t have to pay a dime until you hit the later expansions? And you played through all of that because you had a serious medical issue and it was the only game you could play while forced to lay in bed for the better part of a year where you could make out enough of the screen to play the grindy bits since you happened to have a wireless controller? And then someone was super nice and gifted you the expansions and like half a year’s worth of time cards, and you decided to just marathon through so you can talk about it on your blog? No? Good because then you wouldn’t have a reason to read this.

Also just to get this right out of the way up front- Does FF14 have a great plot? No. No absolutely not. It is TERRIBLY paced and none of the characters have any personality until you’re into the expansions and it’s really awful with women in places and absolutely terrible at having any deaths stick and it tries to do this Game of Thrones sort of thing where people use “whoreson” as an insult and say “anyroad” instead of “anyway” and there’s some pretty sloppy retcons and TERRIBLE redemption arcs after a point. It does have a lot of well-written bits scattered through it though, it makes some interest choices structurally, and bends over backwards for some references that pander nicely to me, so, it’s worthy of discussion. This is going to be long, by the way. May have to multipart it.

Before I get into anything I have to talk about the structure here. FF14 is straight up written like it’s a single player JRPG. You are controlling a specific named character with a ton of personal backstory, you have a party of named characters who you end up going everywhere with after a while, there are full on perspective shifts later on where you control one of them instead of the main character for bits, there’s honestly probably more dialog than combat, and narratively speaking all those other players straight up do not even exist (with a couple interesting exceptions). In fact, as of when I’m writing this (patch 6.3) it is a legit major design goal to legitimately retrofit the whole thing into a true single player game where you can go into all the dungeons and boss fights with a party of plot siginficant NPCs instead of human party members and they have custom dialog and abilities and quirky little explorative stuff they do.

Also, there is a single specific main questline that must be followed from the very start of the game through to the end credits, then continuing through all the free content patches between the base game and first expansion, the next set of free patches, next expansion, etc. and you are just straight up hard locked out of everything until you reach it in the order it was added to the game. Which... I rather dig from the angle of seeing everything grow and mature sequentially, but then they do totally screw that up by doing total rewrites of class abilities without changing class specific quests so you get stuff like the summoner quest line talking about being a tactician and ordering your pets around the battlefield, but at present you don’t really have pets just pet shaped damage spells and it’s weird. Oh and that’s another thing. It goes all FF5 with the classes, so rather than make an alt for every class you make you just kinda have one character, and level up in every class you’re inclined to pick up seperately, which is nice honestly.

Finally there’s the whole “1.0″ thing. When FF14 first came out, it was generally agreed to be Not Great, and concerns with its quality were met in a way I honestly quite dig. Things played up to a big huge climax, everyone’s fighting the main antagonists in this big protracted battle, and then there is a full on apocalypse, absolute trashing the entire setting, killing a ton of major NPCs and possibly all the player characters. Then they made... really a sequel to that game, set like 5 years later I think it was, and that’s the FF14 we have today. All the “1.0″ stuff is backstory that honestly gets really heavily referenced and called back to, but can no longer actually be played through, and... look I tried watching a longplay but it was really boring so this is the one big hole in my research. The intro to the game shows the whole apocalypse bit, fun times.

That out of the way, let’s get into the actual base game, AKA 2.0 AKA

A Realm Reborn

Despite ostensibly being “the whole game” this is the part of the game everyone agrees is kinda just total garbage you just want to get over with as quickly as you can, and it gets much better once you do. I really figured going in that was just stockholm syndrome but no it actually is hiliarious how sharply things turn upward the instant you hit the official endpoint of this and get into the first batch of content patches. They’re just responding to feedback and trying to make characters more likeable, adding the first batch of dungeons and bosses with actual interesting mechanics, etc. It really is night and day. But slog through it I did.

Starting things off, you are Some Person, hailing from an Unspecified Place, to one of the three (really six) major cities in the continent of Eorzea based on what you picked as a starting class, either riding in a covered wagon or a ship. Oh and there’s a bit of an abstract intro before that where you’re floating around in space while a bit crystal says some stuff to you but we’ll get to that. One thing I do really like is that these three major cities remain relevant through the whole game. Most MMOs start you off in Newbie Town and from there you just kinda journey out through an endless parade of new towns until maybe hitting the pre-expansions Main Faction Hub or whatever but here, no, there’s basically just these three cities, you are constantly touching base with them, so low level and high level characters are constantly mingling and passing each other.

There’s a unique quest string in each city up to a certain point where you start regularly traveling between them, but they all kinda boil down to the same thing. Go to the local inn, get asked to do some basic errands by the proprietor, eventually one of these leads into some robed guy siccing a big monster on you, one of the eventual party members you get hooked up with showing up and going “hey nice job” with that, getting the first of these 6 crystals that summons you to almost literally the room with the sages from Ocarina of Time, and introducing the concept that you have this special rare power called The Echo where at usually inconvenient times you pass out and have a flashback to some event involving a person/object/location that’s at hand, which basically just exists as an excuse to exposition dump at you, but also comes with the handy side effect that you’re largely immune to mind control, which will come up.

After that you go back to town, the game starts a rather terrible habit of having every NPC there is talk you up as just the best person who ever lived, and sends you off to meet the other two heads of state to plan a big commemorative event for the whole apocalypse thing. After that these two basically identical little elf twins tag along as all the leaders give speeches, and badmouth them, after which you pick one of the three to formally swear allegiance to which ulitimately effects basically nothing except maybe what team you’re on in some “training exercise” PVP content you’re probably going to totally ignore, and which town you come back to for this one optional questline where you get to put together a little squad of people and send them off on missions. That said though, a quick rundown of things:

We have Limsa Lominsa, a city where a big ol’ fleet of pirate ships ran aground on some rocks and a nice fertile island, and decided to just kinda extend the rigging into the rocks and make this half island half ship and keep calling the leader of the city the Admiral. Said leader is Merlwyb, a huge woman with the sort of sideburns I’ve never seen on a cis woman and despite being told she’s bloodthirsty and racist she spends the whole game taking in refugees negotiating peace accords with “monster” races, and at one point straight up tags along with you to just shoot some cult leader to hopefully avoid a boss fight. She’s honestly great and one of like two likeable NPCs in the whole base game.

East of there we have Ul’dah, the desert city, which is just kind of this ultra-capitalist hellscape where a big mostly-markets city is surrounded by a shanty town full of refugees from the nearby country that’s been occupied by the evil empire for the past 20 years. Nominally the leader is Sultana Nanamo, a member of the race who all look like toddlers and are almost to the last sleazy capitalist scumbags. She’s relatively OK but also she’s a total figurehead while a corrupt merchant council controls most things and her big bruiser former arena champ bodyguard/boyfriend Rauban is the actual functional leader. He’s the other one likeable NPC.

Then finally northeast of that there’s Gridania, the chill hippie town in the peaceful/creepy giant semi-haunted forest where the leadership is a bunch of people born with big ol’ horns who can communicate with primeval elemental spirits at least in theory, and specifically by a woman named Kan-E-Senna who for the life of me doesn’t ever do one single thing I can think of worth mentioning except I think she’s maybe dating Merlwyb. Also the whole communing with ancient forest gods thing, given the main gimmick of the setting I’ll get to shortly seems like kind of just this gigantic red flag and it’s damn weird these people never get called out on this.

Anyway once you’ve settled in and you’ve run through the real early game basically tutorial dungeon set, you find yourself constantly getting called back to this one little nothing town on the edge of the map to have meetings with those eventual party members I mentioned, The Scions of the Seventh Dawn. I say “eventual party members” because once you’re a couple expansions deep they’re actually nicely fleshed out and there’s bits where you run through dungeons and stuff with them but at this point they all just sit around in a boardroom giving you mission briefings and having no personality. Real quick rundown though why not?

From right to left here, we have Thancred, sleazy sketchy scumbag rogue type, Y’shtola, nerdy white mage, Minfilia, leader and soggy piece of white bread who never gets any character development at all (but apparently had a good bit in 1.0), the broken staff of Louisoix, the old wise guy who used to lead these people in 1.0 and nobly sacrificed himself in the apocalypse, the youtuber I stole this screenshot from, Papalymo a stick in the mud dad type, Yda who wears a weird mask and kicks people and Urianger, a gigantic nerd in a hoodie with ear socks who does have some characterization but it’s just constantly throwing out thee and thou and perchange and generally managing to be the sort of creepy nerd who calls you “m’lady” within a fantasy setting which is an impressive trick. I absolutely hated Urianger until I didn’t. Oh and weirdly not featured here are the elf twins, grandchildren of Louisoix, Alphinaud, who’s kind of this dorky blueblood idealistic loser, and Alisaie who.... actually isn’t with these people at all and is kind of off doing her own thing until the lead up to the second expansion.

Anyway these people primarily exist as a little think tank/independent squandron here to do the big damn hero thing, particularly regarding The Most Interesting Idea In FF14, which I’m about to get to, but functionally they literally all just sit around and have you do everything.

So yeah, The Most Interesting Idea In FF14- We’ve got this big buzzword, aether, which is... kind of all matter and energy but mostly found in big honking crystals that’s kinda the elementally tinged lifeblood of the planet and also the basis for any crafting and factors into any and all technobabble. Most importantly though, if you have a giant pile of aether crystals handy, and you pray to your personal conception of a savior, you summon a god (AKA eikon AKA primal AKA recognizable classic FF summon). Said god will maybe try to help you with your problem, but will mostly suck all aether out of the local area, which is bad for the environment, and odd human sacrifice, and also just permanently mess with the minds of anyone in their immediate vicinity to turn them into an absolutely fanatical worshiper. Plus they’re all big set piece-y boss fights, usually with really cool soundtracks.

What’s nice about this is, hey, first off, excuse for a cool boss fight, and there’s even a baked in excuse to have harder refights against them later, because people can always just summon them again after you kill them. But in addition to boiling a lot of problems down to “how about you the video game protagonist go punch this big monster until it explodes?” this also sets up a nice set of long term problem with no easy answer. There’s a conflict between the humans (by which I mean the somewhere between 4 and 7 or 8 races generally agreed to be people/playable character options) and one of what are referred to as “beast tribes” (although later we drop the beast because one of them in a later expansion is kinda literally one of the playable races and people realized it’s messed up) over who gets to live in a plot of land or whatever. Humanity comes in with superior weapons, the kobolds or whatever get desperate and pray up a god, they go fanatic, start doing really depraved stuff to the humans, things escalate more, there’s retaliation, they pray again, etc. etc. It’s an idea that gets taken pretty seriously, really examined from a lot of angles, and sets up what I think are consistently the strongest parts of the game, where you end up befriending various monster-folk who aren’t constantly summoning gods and help them out with their personal self-contained questlines.

Anyway, you waste a bit of time, eventually go off to deal with a violent lizard people problem which ends in them summoning Ifrit, hey cool, you didn’t get mind controlled, and got another of those Zelda room crystals. You sit through a TON of absolute shameless filler, like finding out Ramuh’s been summoned but ultimately not fighting him because he’s honestly being reasonably chill, and which includes a string of like 6 quests where you’re trying to get hints on fighting Titan out of someone who insists on having a big huge wine and cheese party you need to get supplies for and ultimately is a fraud anyway. But eventually yeah, kobolds summoned Titan, you go smack him down.

Then we have more filler, but also a bit of a nice unexpected twist where the evil empire finds out where your base is and one of these four big named Imperial general types with the really over the top helmets just kinda walks in with a gun and kills everyone.

Things go a bit grim for a bit. There’s literally a quest where you have to gather up a bunch of bodies and cart them off to a cemetery on the other side of the country, where you just kinda hang out aimlessly until noticing that wait, one of these people in this church is Cid in disguise. This is kind of a weird bit of writing because while presumably Cid was established a bit in 1.0, in the game we actually have today he is literally never mentioned one single time before you run into him here. But, you know, it’s an FF game. We’ve got a guy named Cid, he’s a super talented engineer, he’s got an airship. We also have a Wedge and a Biggs, they work for him in this case. And oh hey it turns out the massive pile of corpses in your HQ somehow didn’t include any of those party members who suck and who cares but will get development later, which kinda ticks me off but again, get used to nobody staying dead. Oh and there’s also a side trek up to Coerthas, the huge frozen sprawling wasteland north of Gridania that mostly serves to start teasing a bit of how the first expansion is going to be about a bunch of classist Catholic elves having a big ol’ war with dragons but honestly I mostly just remember having to talk to NPCs behind enough doors and stairways to constantly get lost looking for them.

Eventually though you get back to your job as designated god slayer, go fight summon number 3, Garuda, courtesy of some weird bird people, and then there’s a scene that’s just plain fun, where turns out the locals gathered up enough crystals to immediately summon her again and also have some of the other monster folk who summoned the first two bosses and there’s enough crystals around for them to also resummon their gods and... eh it’s worth a youtube link to like the most amusing scene in the base game, sure.

So yeah, we’re getting all set for our big cheesy summoned god Mexican Standoff and then the (local) leader of the evil empire just shows up out of nowhere and airdrops in the Ultima Weapon, which... has always looked like this for all prior FF appearances but only watching this did it really sink in for me what an absolutely ridiculous robot-dragon-centaur it is. Said goofy robot kills and eats all 3 gods, stealing their power, and then gets brought home to the main imperial fortress in the religion to hang out until it’s time to be the final boss.

And then we have more filler for a bit. Not nearly so much as usual, but we do have this 5th country between Ul’dah and Coerthas with the main imperial base to poke around in a bit before the endgame. A bit of this involves Cid and Pals commandeering a fun bit of FF6 fan service you get to tool around with a little before planning your big assault.

So yeah, end of the base game, the pacing stops being so terrible. We get a quick fight against Imperial General #1 which when I first started playing was an absolutely hilarious pushover because it’s the first time you get a party of 8 people instead of 4 and it’s just the one guy, but has since been revamped into a surprisingly tense thing you do solo, then an assault on an outpost where Cid’s playing with the toy shown above blowing down walls for you and you kill the general who killed uh... whoever was in your HQ that wasn’t important earlier, then the proper stronghold where there’s a fun bit where everyone gets to hop in a mech and fire off machine guns and missiles everywhere before general #3, the head Imperial in the region (who gives this real long I am a nazi piece of trash and I love to hear myself talk speech that I have completely committed to memory because it’s unskippable and the game frequently bribes people to come back and fill party slots for first-timers), and that goofy Ultima Weapon. Oh and Lahabrea.

I haven’t mentioned Lahabrea because he sucks and also matters so little to anything I genuinely didn’t have cause to mention him. He’s in that cutscene I linked though. So I should get this out of the way I guess.

So OK, there are three main antagonist factions in FF14. There’s random monster men summoning their gods, usually because frankly humans are doing colonialisms and threatening to wipe them out. There’s the evil empire which really doesn’t do a whole lot on camera? I feel like they were more active in 1.0 but really we just get a couple shots of generals plotting, the one bit where your base gets gunned down, the Ultima Weapon drop-in, and then the series of assault stuff at the end, but they are established pretty well as properly hate-worthy nazis. And then we have the Ascians.

The Ascians suck so bad. They are these cloaked hooded masked mystery weirdos who just kind of watch from the shadows and play evil vizier to... really literally anyone who ends up being an antagonist anywhere in the game. They taught monster men how to summon gods, they encourage the evil empire to be evil and dig up ancient high tech ruins. The... only one who I think gets named properly in the base game here possesses Thancred for a while but not only is he fine after this happens before any real effort is made to establish Thancred as a character so who even cares? And their goals and motivations are shrouded in mystery. By which I definitely mean the writers just through in some generically evil mystery weirdos and hoped nobody would notice they don’t do a single damn thing of substance with the vague plan to maybe do something interesting somewhere down the road. The 3rd expansion eventually gets around to developing one of them as an actual character and giving them a whole backstory and agenda that’s kind of interesting but really none of what gets done with them before, or for that matter after that point makes any sense. We just have a few random scenes where some guy in a black cloak goes all “yes, yes, just as planned, we’ve been watching you” and it’s transparently freaking nothing. And then you kill one as a cutsceney final boss.

And that’s it. That’s the whole base game of FF14. There is a TON of filler, a couple pointless speed bump dungeons, 3 boss fights (that are all total cakewalks), and a big assault on an imperial stronghold with a 4th proper boss fight towards the end. And there’s such obvious blatant signs of cut content too. Again there’s this whole Zelda medallion chamber to track your progress, you fill it with these 6 elemental crystals, 3 of those come from summons you kill, and the other 3 are kinda just... sitting there. We tease the hell out of fights with Ramuh and Leviathan that don’t happen. We don’t really mention Shiva but you always have Shiva early on in an FF game. Those three boss fights do totally make it in the first free patch wave along with a few others, but... you can see where they were cut out and replaced by finding fancy cheese for some random doofus.

It’s MISERABLY paced (count the main story quests on this list! Most of these are just wandering around talking to people as you slowly discuss plans for boss fights), the main villains barely get introduced before you fight them, the supporting cast isn’t fleshed out at all, and the gameplay for this leg of thing is dull as dirt too.

Side content is a bit better. There’s... well two little quest lines actually for every class in the game, a couple of which are a bit interesting. Black mages make a bunch of monster race friends and team up to close portals to hell. Scholars get into this bit learning how Tonberries (the green cloaked little monsters who slowly walk up and stab you with knives) are actually normal people suffering from a horrible plague. The rogue/ninja class wasn’t actually added in until the patches but it’s the one later edition you can access almost right away and has a fun bit with a charming thieves-cant-talking pirate-country-protecting assassin squad, and then there’s those “beast tribe” quests which again, I really like.

We’ve got the Proud Warrior Race guy lizard people, one of whom is a cat girl, and she has a big ol’ chip on her shoulder about it, while you help her resolve issues about her birth mother. We’ve got a fish guy who used to be a badass murderous warrior but became a dad and mellowed out and is dealing with some of his kids growing up to be jerks. We’ve got flightless bird people with a religion that’s basically just Laputa, wanting help building a high altitude airship to search for their promised land. This weird thing with mischievous fairy type plant people pranking each other and fighting for custody of like... plant fairy baby Jesus, and... OK the kobold quests are this dumb romantic rivalry but the mount you get for it is great.

Next time- “It gets good after level 50 I swear!” (and time allowing “The Award-Winning Heavensward Expansion”)

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

what are your influences/inspirations for your art!! like, stylistically or thematically!

visual art, stylistically:

the Borderlands artstyle obviously. cel shading and outlines my fucking beloved. I am so fucking sad that gbx themselves is kinda toning down on it and that they didn't implement the crosshatch shader they put in teasers for bl3. come the fuck on

the Psychonauts artstyle. even if I do no longer draw in the hyperdeformed style I took from that game I still often deform characters and exagerrate their main features in order to make them more distinct. it also kinda made me addicted to shape language lolmao

Team Fortress 2. I am fucking serious btw. blame that one youtube video on its artstyle. it's been a formative experience for me when I watched it and it stuck itself in my brain. it made me appreciate blockiness/solidity/stockiness in art, as well as teaching me how to limit color palettes and how to draw attention to the important parts of the character by using color contrast.

as for actual artists and not. Video Games. I have been eyeing cubists and futurists recently (even went to a gallery with some of Picasso's earlier works) but it's nothing too substantial as of rn

visual art, thematically:

most of what I draw is characters & fanart so. yeah .

however one thing I've been enjoying recently is redrawing paintings or old photos. usually replacing the ppl in them with my fave old man yaoi. maybe it's cringe but they are a very "love in every time" sort of couple to me so :shrug:

literary art, stylistically:

positivist writing, particularly Lalka by Bolesław Prus. perhaps it's because I consider myself academically inclined, perhaps it's because naturalistic descriptions pander to my Biology Autism, perhaps it's bc of smth else idk

impressionism except not really bc im autistic and thus sensory descriptions come to me naturally

Terry. Pratchett. comparisons in my fics are often snappy(tm) as all fuck because they're, well, Borderlands fics, and to me a Borderlands novel should be Discworld-like. also because Discworld itself slaps

the work of Alexis Kennedy: the guy who wrote a lot of Fallen London, Cultist Simulator and also the Horizon Signal dlc for Stellaris. which is all shit im into. and good lird . its hard to describe you have to read this stuff for yourself

literary art, thematically:

again see the visual art section but largely my fics if they aren't self indulgent fluff are just. taken from my brain tee em because I cover topics or angles that the rest of the fandom wouldn't even think of

Alexis Kennedy again bc he writes gothic/cosmic horror. especially the latter. hoo doggy

other things that in general inspire me:

Darkest Dungeon. both the artstyle and the story have been big influences on me even tho I only played the game once and know everything abt it by watching youtube and bingereading wikis

the legacy of H. P. "Racist" Lovecraft. I guess. what can I say I am a sucker (haha) for those tentacles. except I do everything he ever did sexier and cooler and also he can go roll in his grave

legends, folklore, mythology and occultism. Hellenic of course since that's a big part of Borderlands symbolism but I ain't a coward I throw all that shit in there. slavic (creator bias lollll), norse, japanese, a bit of voudoun, biblical tradition, alchemy, tarot, et cetera. of course I usually don't talk about all the symbols that go into my Everything bc there's a crapton and everyone is entitled to their own interpretations but. yknow! and thats not even accounting for my love of assigning complex motifs to things

[spicedfink]

Clone High season 2 is kind of wack and like the thing that stood out to me in episode 1 is Joan getting kicked out of the unity committed because Abe messed up. When Joan said "I know" and took off her lanyard I thought they were going to have Frida be like "Girl wtf? No, that's stupid." to further the "people are more accepting now" narrative

But if they really wanted to lean into the whole cancel culture bit they could have framed the second gen clones as jerks: instead of "look how bad Abe is" it'd be "look at these people giving him a hard time when he literally doesn't know what he's doing wrong" and they could have made Joan's putting distance between her and Abe lean more into her desire to be seen as a good person from season 1 and just showed her walking on eggshells around her new friends. This could also bring good parallels between Joan and Topher because Joan actually being a good person and trying to prove herself compared to Topher not being a good person but wanting desperately to be seen that way And then for the end of the episode instead of the whole "Abe was wrong now he must be punished" it could have been throwing bricks from glass houses bit where the whole school was kind of shitty people or they could have used this as a chance to characterize Topher the way they actually wanted to by having him seen as a good person by the whole school in episode 1 but the end up the episode it's raveled he's actually the nastiest person in the whole school (which also could have served as commentary on how straight cis white men can be seen as good people by doing the bare minimum)

I still think cancel culture jokes aren't very good. My general issue is cancel culture jokes tend to be conflating calling someone out for dangerous narratives that lead to further oppression to someone saying something vaguely offensive when they were 13 - usually ignoring things like how more famous people will get more support when called out for repeated patterns of hateful behavior but individual creators are usually destroyed if someone makes a call out post even if it's fake. Not to forget how people tend to focus on targeting people who are part of oppressed groups over privileged people doing the exact same things or worse things. And for the episode/show: there was so much room for actually social commentary that while it might not have been funny it would have made it more clear how we were meant to feel about the characters

The only real problem with this is that it would effect the whole Joan and Abe aren't able to be friends narrative (which feels forced as is), they could have made the conflicted less about Joan not wanting to be seen with Abe and more about JFK feeling discomfort with Joan being close to Abe which could have been a better catalyst for their break up.

Imagine Joan avoiding Abe because JFK says he doesn't really want them hanging around each other because of the history and then Joan could either hang out with Abe behind his back (oh the drama that could be had) or simply breaks up with him because she decided he was being controlling I'm serious on how fun the drama of Joan being like "Abe doesn't even like me and I'm over him so JFK is in the wrong but I don't want to fight about it because then he'd think I really did have feelings for Abe" then Abe makes a move on her and she's like "WTF man??" and then she starts being over the top with JFK because "oh no" she isn't actually over Abe As things were I don't get why Joan didn't break up with JFK earlier, like why was JFK and Harriet's actions fine but Abe's weren't? I get the made up plot illness but they really said it was okay for her boyfriend to cheat on her with her new best friend ignoring that she was already sensitive about girl friendships so this betrayal was actually soooo much worse

The problem is that they seemed to ignore their own set ups, like I knew episode 1 that JFK and Joan were going to break up that much was clear by how pander-y it was. They didn't need to drag it out. They had 10 episodes to work with and didn't actually know how they wanted to pace things and it wasn't just having fun and making jokes so it really stood out. Not to mention they meant for the character's relationships to be stage front and center which makes the issues more concerning

Like season 1 characters doing things that don't make sense with what had already happened was fine, sometimes even added to the comedy like in the episode where the whole plot was Abe and Cleo were making a big deal about how their first kiss needed to be perfect despite already having kissed in the first episode.

If I'm suppose to take the stupid clone high school drama seriously it has to be consistence if I'm just suppose to laugh and move on it doesn't matter that much