#so ive been all head down and such
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guys i did rly well on my practice mcat today im so relieved, im sooooo close to finally being done with this thing, my test date is at the end of april i cant wait to be done
#i just hope i can do as well on the real thing as today's practice#that's why ive been so absent here lately#im in the home stretch of studying#so ive been all head down and such#i miss u guys tho <33#ennuitxt
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Plz… do you have any yandere clone crumbs (or headcanons even)? I love this trope lmao
YOUR CULT LEADER IS SO GLAD YOU ASKED
[LONG yandere ramblings under the cut!]
THESE ARE ALL RANDOM STREAMS OF THOUGHTS. THERE'S NO ORDER. ALSO I'M NOT A WRITER SO FORGIVE ANY ERRORS!!!
General
They're all interested in the same type of person for different reasons. So if you catch the interest of one, you'll soon catch the interest of the others.
The clones are also pathological liars like the main body.
They're scrappy unfair fighters.
They'd all have a common trait of imposing themselves into your life. Whether or not you want to see them, they'll always pop up uninvited.
That and being disgustingly clingy to the point you can barely breathe without one of them there to share your air.
Their violence varies, but rest (un)assured that it is always an option for them, yes, even Hantengu.
Even if different, sometimes it really shows that they're a single unit.. sooner or later, your hands will be full with a bunch of annoying, needy, lying, terrible, and problematic assholes.
They're all more intense than the average human. To them, a human life is as insignificant as an ant. They'd kill someone for the hell of it, or if it's an order from Muzan. That view doesn't change much if you're in the picture.
Now it's just a matter of not scaring you too much, hence, Hantengu’s chronic lying problem. They want to be the ones you rely and lean on. to feel comfortable with! Don't mind the blood. It's not like you haven't seen it on them before!
Relax, they truly never want to hurt you!!
Hantengu
Starting off with our man of the hour, Hantengu. He's aligned with delusional and obsessive types of yanderes, one who's too afraid to approach you but watches you from afar nonetheless.
You'd have to make an effort to find him since he'd most likely be shrunk into his tiny form and hidden in some small crevice.
It started off as a simple fascination. You probably made contact with him in his human disguise (accidental or not.) As he cowered, you were pretty decent.
It was a surprising but welcoming change of pace from the usual villains who'd try to harm him, but he still fled from you. He was going to eat you no doubt, but he kept putting it off until he lost his appetite.
He's terrified you might do something to him, that you'll hurt him! but the attention you gave him makes him yearn for your company. He wants to watch you all the time and quite literally, will do just that.
Hantengu's there when you wake up and when you go to bed. He's living somewhere in your home. Always watching.
With the ability to shrink very small and run extremely fast, you'd think you might have rats in your home. Each time you think you hear a snap, the rat traps always end up broken to pieces.
He sends his clones in his stead to test the waters after getting far too worried once you leave his sight. If you don't hurt them, then he'll know you're not so bad! Still won't approach, but a bit more calm when he's "around." or when they invade your life.
Assuming the clones never stray too far from the main body (if they're physically able to or not, doesn't really matter) they never want to leave Hantengu unprotected, which means your home is the main base.
You can move, try running away, get help, or whatever, but it's all futile because Hantengu will hide in your items meaning the others will always end up finding you with him.
it's a rule of thumb for the Hantengus not to mention him for safety reasons and because he's already terrified as is and any unwarranted attention is probably bad... He'd be horrified to be under your gaze for long, which is why he prefers you with your eyes closed.
Hantengu is like your sleep paralysis demon. At the dead of night, he peeks out from wherever he's hiding and watches you.
With demonic speed, any flinch or shuffle from you has him hiding again, but if you awaken and keep your eyes closed, you can hear faint crying and sniffling while you slumber.
If it makes you uncomfortable or ruins your sleep, Hantengu doesn't put two and two together, it can't possibly be him. What a travesty..!
It'd be difficult to try and make contact since he's always watching from the sidelines or cowering and hiding away, but it'll get easier eventually when it's drilled into him that you won't be like the people he's met.
He genuinely believes that the world is full of evil villains that may hurt you, so if he sees someone that worries him, the clones will zero in on them.
Hantengu has a dangerously powerful influence on them.. combine that with his victim complex? terrible.
Sometimes all Hantengu needs is a single seed of doubt to be implanted in his mind before he's lying to everyone and deluding himself that you're getting manipulated.
That's when his clones step in, scouting out the place for the possible source of the problem. That or pick off random people one by one before you're back in their arms!
But it's not his fault that you're surrounded by overprotective, suffocating freaks! Trust!!
The upside is if you meet him, he's extremely docile. He doesn't do much aside from cower and weep, begging you not to hurt him. Attempts to hide are futile if you tell him to stay... like a deer caught in headlights. ironic.
One of the others are probably always in the room, if not all of them, making your interactions even more awkward.
Once Hantengu warms up to the idea of having you know about his existence, you'd mostly find him in the pockets of your clothes or in areas where your trinkets would be strewn about.
It’s highly unlikely that he’d be violent in front of you, but that doesn't mean that the others won't be, (for his and your safety they say) Hantengu just cries about things or trembles at most with every sound making him flinch, huddling behind you in some way.
Hantengu often forgets he can go to his full height, usually being the size of your foot or smaller. If he's tiny, you'll see how he's a really harmless and defenseless victim of the world!
Nevermind how you sometimes catch the scent of blood coming from your home, only to find him cowering at the scene of a crime.
Depending on your demeanor, you're either a victim like him so you MUST stick together, or you're his savior.
He feels that safety and contentment when around you, but would rather stay on the side lines than risk anything. It's as if watching you do your daily routine is his stress relief.
It's absolutely awful if you're in danger or out of his line of sight for long. No reports from one of his clones? No most recent update to your whereabouts? No one is with you to inform him!?
Full panic attacks and inconsolable babbling about how you must be dead!! The world is so cruel and awful to him!!!
These types of reactions agitate the others, making them more worried if they're also in the dark. It's possible Hantengu would use Urami to go and find you himself in these rare instances. It'd be a disaster, but at least he'd have peace of mind..
At least you don't have to worry about Hantengu being jealous though. He's pretty tame, too focused on being afraid of everything else. The others handle his jealousy for him so that he doesn't worry.
Sekido
A mixture of highly jealous and possessive type, secretly protective as well! A mean tsundere is what you usually see, if not his common form of verbal abuse if he's too worked up.
The subtle flush on his cheeks takes the edge off his words if it's directed at you even if he blames it on being red in the face with anger because of you or [x] reason.
First impressions were probably that you were extremely annoying and would suggest eating you to the others whenever a situation arose. Thankfully the others prevented that from happening.
Sekido is one out of the two who'd accidentally hurt you. He never means to, but he forgets his own strength. In the beginning, instead of trusting you to follow him, he'd grab your wrist and drag you around with him to wherever he needed to be.
You could run away when he's not looking and cause an unwanted commotion, so it's best to have you on a tight leash leading to bruising sometimes..
Out of all of them, Sekido needed the most time to warm up to you. When he'd realized he'd fallen for you, he'd already be cursing at himself for being so blind to it earlier.
It started off as moments where his irritation calmed then snowballed into a bliss he only knows if he's by your side.
You'd think he genuinely hates your guts at times. The way he gets so angry and harshly insults you can take a toll. If he senses he's cut you deep, he still won't apologize verbally.
Knowing himself, saying anything would only hurt you more, he's too rough with phrasing that it wouldn't sound genuine. How is it his fault that you're so fragile?
Sekido has too much pride, but a lot of it is in constant conflict with his love for you. It's what gets him so frustrated when thinking about it. You make him feel disgustingly mushy inside, and he wants to tear out his heart and tell it to get a grip.
He probably doesn't speak to you for a few days, instead choosing to act while you're not looking to regain favor.
Making food you'd like, inviting you to spend time indoors, buying you small gifts, and even cleaning up around your place. Wordless actions that come off as apologies for his temper that he’ll make SURE won't go unnoticed.
If you confront him, he huffs with his back towards you as if it were nothing but takes credit for it regardless.
Sure, he's the oldest, but Sekido still has his moments of immaturity like the other three. If he had it his way, he'd refuse to let anyone speak to you, almost isolating you, so his acts of service really shine through.
What if someone tries getting your favor by taking advantage of his supposed mistakes? It's extremely insulting that anyone would even dare try! Infuriating even!
The only people he'd allow you to speak with are his clones and main body. But like everything, it depends on his mood or the situation.
Is it REALLY necessary to talk to someone else when Sekido is RIGHT THERE?? No. It's not. Now shut up and eat the sweets he got you.
Sekido doesn't do PDA, but violence will always be on the table, never hesitating if someone gets near you, or looks at you too long.
He says he's the best clone to take when going out, but he’s punched too many bystanders as a warning far too many times... You're lucky if he simply verbally abuses someone until they're crying or humiliated.
You can say the handsome man with the red eyes has grown a reputation in town.
You also gain a reputation as someone who’s EXTREMELY off limits, dangerous even. While Sekido isn't as affectionate or sweet as the others, the things he lets slide when it comes to you make it obvious that you're his favorite person.
“Are you trying to die? Even insects have more survival instincts than you.” and all you did was bump into him. Sekido dusts himself off and gives you a once over, subtly making sure you're okay before he continues with whatever he was doing.
Were it anyone else, he would’ve swung his staff at them for even getting near him.
You're given special treatment because, to Sekido, you ARE special. On rare occasions, he'll even verbalize his fondness for you, even if it's worded as if he were reprimanding.
Just don't be so blind to the hints he's throwing at you and he won't have to beat your face in.. specifically your lips with his lips, very roughly, until you're both bruised and breathless.
When Sekido needs to be away from you for whatever reason, he knows you're okay. He entrusts you to the others in his absence, but his mind starts wandering to how he misses your hands on his..
It's different remembering it and seeing it, if you were there, you could touch him and he could reciprocate. It'd be even better if you were both alone—and now, someone’s interrupting his thoughts.
Frustration bubbles up and he's ready to snap at someone. What could be so damn important!?
If Sekido comes back with blood on his person, just don't ask, he's already annoyed and he's seeking solace with you.
You flip a switch in him. Your warmth, your presence, your voice, it’s like serenity to his vexed soul. He sits comfortably beside you when he has to plan for something.
It helps him think clearly but, he doesn't let go of your wrist..
His grip is unnaturally tight too, so you're stuck there unless you want to risk Sekido getting frustrated again because his personified peace wants to get up and do something, at least, that's what he says.
Even if it holds some truth, when you whittle Sekido down enough, he confesses that, in a weird way, he's constantly worried for you.
You're not as strong as them and he knows this, but it's clear as day when he's calm enough.
Not that he needs to, but Sekido takes the responsibility for not only keeping himself alive, but Hantengu and more importantly you.
If anything were to happen to you, he doesn't know what he'd do. So instead he acts as the most aggressive guard dog ever and keeps any unknown presence as far from you as possible.
Moments of peace with you don't happen often for him, so please stay a while longer? The others will barge in any minute now, so indulge him a little until then?
And don't speak a word about it to anybody or else he’ll destroy your home and everything inside it!
Karaku
Extremely self aware, obsessive type. He knows how to properly court someone, that everything they're doing crosses many lines, but this way is much more entertaining.
You were just another random face in the beginning that he just shrugs and tries to find enjoyment in by tormenting, but as he interacts more with you, he finds it more invigorating than anything else.
He starts going easier on you, opting for just teasing. Dragging you into spending time with him is surprisingly more fun than a battle lately..
Whether you like him back or not isn't even important. As long as you have SOME level of affection for him and don't forget to give him some attention, he's satisfied.
Everything is fun when it comes to you and while he'd IDEALLY like you to reciprocate his feelings and be obsessed with him, he just needs an inch for the mile he'll take!
It's not like he will actively make you hate him, but he'll definitely try coaxing you into things you might not be eager for.
I doubt there's much that can upset him in general, much less if it's you. You're so attractive and entertaining to him, all your reprimands and insults go in one ear and out the other.
He laughs and agrees to whatever you said, brushing it off, then tries nudging you into moving on and doing something that doesn't upset you! Like doing him!
O-or.. if you're not in the mood right now, that's fine. There's a bunch of other fun stuff that you two can do!
With all that, Karaku's still aware that you'd be uncomfortable with him shoving all his affection onto you, getting possessive, and even beating some people up for the hell of it.
But he also knows people can learn to get used to things they can't escape and get desensitized, so he attempts to do just that and ease you into your new life!
He's still affectionate, it's Karaku! He doesn't force you into anything too intimate. Physical touch may be his go-to, but holding you and hugging you is the most he'd do unless he gets hints that he may be allowed to do more.
Out of everyone, he's the most relaxed, which isn't saying much. If you say you're going somewhere he hears we’re going somewhere, but at least you can go near strangers without him hurting anyone.
When spending time with the others, he knows he can just butt in, or do something that'll force your attention on him. Even if people try talking to you, he's not upset, just amused.
Very confident Karaku is.. any attempt someone tries with you is hilarious to him since he knows you're likely to reject them. He only gets slightly miffed if YOU'RE the one coming onto others.
“Oi~ You're really greedy, you have all of me and yet you still want other's attention? ..How about you try convincing me a little and I won't make that much of a fuss, yeah?” as if he's not always trying to hold you in the most PDA way possible…
Karaku loves to show off how he's taken even if it makes you embarrassed. You're cute when flustered anyway so that's just another plus!
When you're gone he's sooo~ bored. It reminds him of that itch he had before he met you where life was too dull and he needed that stimulation only chaos could provide.
Unfortunately, chaos is like a storm, and the clouds dissipate eventually. So what does he do? Create his own storms, of course!
Karaku is a renowned pleasure seeker, sexual or not. Since he met you, the sexual part is reserved, so he's usually seeking fun in terms of mischief, adrenaline rushes, or destruction.
Starting problems on purpose by provoking others to the point of a fight is his favorite especially if he can blow down buildings.
Some dishonorable mentions that aren't fighting are planting gross items into bags, spreading rumors, giving false information, and turning people against one another.
Overall things that would make you regret letting him out of your sight.
Karaku likes to make himself more appealing to you by boasting about small things. It could be the bare minimum, but you wouldn't know if he's exaggerating any tiny details!
Hearing your tastes and interests will have him leaning into that, but he's not going to change himself completely.
He's confident he can worm his way into your heart by being himself.
You should give him praise sometime! He didn't tease Sekido and make him so upset he blew a fuse. And! He didn't toy with anyone’s life before killing them this time! He also only used his uchiwa twice. max. and no buildings collapsed completely..
See? He's not that bad of a guy! You should trust him more, you'll hurt his feelings..!
He's the one who will also flirt with you the most, leaving lingering touches and casually inviting you for some bedroom fun. You could be in the middle of dinner and he'd ask if you're up for it later as if it's a casual thing between you two.
This guy.. he really REALLY likes you touching him.. from his hair to his arms, to his chest, and down his legs, whatever you want is yours. But it also makes him more reserved in a way?
Someone tapping his shoulder gets him a little miffed. It's like someone is touching something of yours. Whatever, getting your hands all over him should fix that right up.
Karaku is an interesting case.. He portrays himself as an open book, but there's so much more than he lets on.
He makes mental notes of things you like and strictly hate, secretly helps balance everyone’s jealousy so you don't get burnt out, always there when you need him most, and is second to tend to you if Aizetsu isn't around.
Serious situations aren't his style, he’ll always try to be playful to lighten the mood, but you can see his ear twitch when he notices something’s wrong.
He's the second oldest after all, so he has the capability to be mature if he wants to.
But being a stick in the mud is Sekido’s job, so he works around it in his own pleasurable way!
There’s times even when he likes to take things slow and enjoy the moment with you around. Pleasure can be relaxation. While he loves being out and about, a nice quiet evening with you can be fun too.. even if he has to push you around a little too make it happen.
He likes how you make him feel whole, like he's not chasing after the unattainable satisfaction that's so close but so far.
Urogi
Intoxicated delusional type... Urogi believes you wouldn't do anything to hurt him on purpose and finds joy in your “shyness.” If you were to reject him or push him away, he laughs very loudly, “reassuring” you.
First impressions were pretty tense. He'd eye you like he's waiting for you to step wrong before feasting. Like those fangs suggest, he's a humanity's predator first and foremost and he wanted to keep it that way.
At least, he thought so until he played with his food too much and got attached.
You later begin to be like a drug to him. He NEEDS you. Whether it be within earshot, field of vision, or (preferably) within arm's reach. If not, he gets super fidgety, nervous, restless. Can't sit still.
Similar to Hantengu except he begins getting impulsive and violent with anything or anyone around the longer you're away.
Usually, he thinks twice about slicing anything with his talons when you're around, he's too happy with your attention and knows you're pretty squishy! But if you're gone, the blood splatters make him feel better!
He misses you! Come back!! There are scratches and tossed furniture everywhere because Urogi attempted to calm himself with things that smell like you. Everything's just a mess, but he at least greets you the second you get home.
Cuddly and excitable! He'd tackle you in a hug and swing you around, or cling to you with his full body until you both tip over. Urogi likes your scent and warmth.
It's comforting, so he's constantly near you and touching you, sometimes fighting with the others cause he wants his turn.
Similar to Sekido, you're like a switch that flips to excited when you make contact of any kind, so it's not uncommon to find him clamoring to sit on your lap or lay his head somewhere on you when he sees you.
Again, like Sekido, Urogi can get jealous to the same levels as him. However, whereas Sekido would be violent and aggressive, Urogi is whiny and clingy.
It's almost funny how he’s the one whose mood shifts the quickest. Even compared to Aizetsu, he's more likely to cry, or compared to Sekido, he'd lash out about something small.
But as his main emotion states, he'll always revert back to his gleeful self.
One second, he's complaining because you've been “ignoring” him for too long [three minutes] but cheers up if you so much as graze his skin, “Hahaha!! Okay, I forgive you!! Can we go out now? Oh! Oh! How about a kiss?!”
Joy may be better than when Urogi's upset, but it's still... pretty shameless like Karaku, except Urogi doesn't WANT to embarrass you on purpose.
He's got a loud voice and a one-track mind with you. Begging and asking isn't out of the realm of possibility for him either.
Something you can count on with these four is that they're honest in their feelings for you.
Urogi, being the one who's extremely raw in showing it, talks from the heart with no brain. What you see is what you get. Most of the time...
Urogi, like the others, has his moments of dishonesty, but it’s not his fault! He wants your love constantly so bends the truth about needing you in some type of way or that he was bullied!!!
He has a headache, take care of him! Oh, his left wing hurts, pet it for him, please? His feathers have been really bothering him lately, preen him? Yes, you did so yesterday, but they're bothering him again!! Also, Sekido was really mean for no reason again, stay with him so he doesn't get yelled at again!!
With how much he thrives under your attention, you'd wonder how he reacts with people who aren't you. Well, it's simple, if its not a fight, he leads back to you!
If someone ever talks to Urogi long enough there's a 90% chance he'll mention “someone” and ignore whatever they say.
When you're not the subject of the convo, he brings you up, interrupting the other's train of thought. Annoyingly so..
It gets particularly messy if he's conversing with the other three because then they'd forget about the original topic and get swept up with missing you instead.
Even the hobbies he has that aren't you, remind him of you.. in albeit concerning ways..
He likes to eat fleshy meat, but he gets reminded of how your skin feels under his hands. It'd be more flattering if he wasn't literally ripping the flesh off of something with his fangs, but he means well.
Sharing things he likes is a sign of love, right? That's why he brings you gifts! ..Like a cat bringing its owner dead mice except this cat is five foot nine and way more dangerous..
and the dead mice are limbs that can get you arrested............
It's terrifying to wake up to a mysterious blob of red meat, especially when Urogi says “It's the only thing that kinda resembles what it used to be!” but laughs in your face instead of explaining further.
A tongue was probably the most concerning thing that still had its original shape, but not surprising.
Urogi is unfortunately way too damn strong. He's the second one to accidentally hurt you after Sekido, his talons are extremely sharp and sometimes dig into you when he gets too excited. He tries not to, but even passing by he can nick you.
Bandages are difficult for him to grab with his talons, and he feels terrible afterward, so he licks your wounds clean if you let him. Sure, it won't do much, but at least your blood smells delicious, and it makes him happy tasting it!
Right, this isn't about him, right!
There's something almost innocent about how Urogi acts with you. Even if you hate his guts, he’d still treat you like treasure. He can't bring himself to hate you no matter what you do.
He’ll get annoyed at times when you're too “coy,” sure, but never more than that or for long.
He can be a handful, but you can tell he tries to give you a good happy relationship. One that he hopes makes you feel the same unending joy he feels even if it's a bit traumatic.
Aizetsu
Manipulative and stalking type. Aizetsu wants to get tasks over with as fast as possible. he doesn't have any motivation for it. He's tired and sad and wants to curl up into a ball and lay down.
First time meeting, Aizetsu didn't even spare you a glance. If you weren't food or a threat, then you might as well have been a poor wall or weird tree.
Giving him a taste of pampering is probably what slowly melted his cold walls.
Now that he has you, it's strange. He WANTS to get up and do things with you. The weight on his shoulders isn't as heavy when you're around. He wants to keep you near him always and if he has to be pathetic to do that, then he'll do it.
Sending cute sad glances your way, sighing after each word as if its tiring to breathe, constantly leaning or holding onto your clothes, whatever makes him look like he'd die without you is what he'll do.
Aizetsu is more than capable like the other three if not the most. it's just that he doesn't need to do it, so he doesn't want to.
He purposely makes himself out like he's the “good” one, but he's just quieter. Unlike Karaku's boasting, Aizetsu wants you to see the worst in others so it makes himself look better by comparison.
Making others or himself seem pathetic is his strong suit, sometimes making his counterparts the brunt of that pity.
That or he takes a page out of Karaku's handbook and stirs the pot so they do the job for him. Sometimes they involve Aizetsu if they find out which makes him sad...
He pouts, looking at his counterparts fighting, and tells you how it's such a pity you're stuck with a rowdy bunch like them while knowing full well that he muttered something under his breath about Karaku mocking Sekido to make Urogi laugh while passing by.
It didn't happen, but it could've... it's okay, just stay with Aizetsu on the sidelines while they tucker themselves out.
Speaking of that, Aizetsu seldom lets you go. Like the others, he loves touching you, but the others let go eventually from some form of hyperactivity.
Aizetsu.. doesn't. His hand is always firmly grasping some part of your clothes while you walk, but if you're not using your arm, he'll hold that for you too.
You can try shaking him off, but it really wouldn't do anything except make him frown and grip tighter. You could ditch your clothes, it'll stun him for a moment until he's pouting again, but he’ll let you go.
Unfortunately you probably won't get your discarded clothes back for a while even if you apologize.
That and he’ll cling on again in five minutes if he's near. It's a force of habit.
Aizetsu's the strongest physically of the four, but tries his best to seem weak around you so you can spoil and love him more.
The second you leave him to figure out his own issues, you usually hear a loud thump then crack followed by Aizetsu's soft footsteps rushing to follow behind you.
Even with his crazy strength, he's the second least likely to spill blood.
Not because he's guilty or anything, don't be silly, but because he doesn't want to put effort into cleaning himself up, so you'll embrace him again. If you didn't care, then he'd be a bit messier.
Then again, he doesn't like how the dried blood feels in his hair, and he doubts he can get away with making you wash it for him every time.
Aizetsu is constantly upset, but he's not openly emotional aside from his usual declarations of sorrow. He doesn't cry easily, being in a constant state of sadness makes everything numb at some point, so it's something he expresses privately..
or, to persuade you into feeling bad for him further.
“Pitying others is only natural, but don't forget you have someone waiting for you always. I'd wither away without you.” He says that, but the others never see him waiting for anything when you're out.. Why? Because he never leaves you.
Sometimes you think you see a blue reflection from the corner of your eyes, but you check and nothing. Feeling like you're watched has been a constant lately since meeting the clones. Hopefully, it's just nerves.
But it's not!
Behind wall corners, in the shadows, amongst crowds, in closets, Aizetsu's always there. Watching with that same sorrowful pout. As mentioned earlier, he doesn't feel demotivated when doing things for you.
He's making sure you're safe and gathering more information. He wants to be precise when around you. How are you when you think they're not around? He'll find out. He always does.
Not that you notice much... He doesn't throw tantrums when you need to part from him like the others, only simple, “Really? Where are you going..?” and that's all for protesting. He's the “good one,” remember? He won't stop you.
Aizetsu gets a little sloppy with hiding his hobby(?) when he doesn't react to the new things and stories you intended to tell him. As if listening to a story again.
He's lucky he doesn't speak much or he would've filled in the details of the story you forgot about.
The downside of following you is that Aizetsu gets approached sometimes. Annoying... He's so gloomy, that he's sometimes approached by kind bystanders to check up on him.
He doesn't speak to anyone as much anymore, only responding with nods and head shakes unless he's pitying someone. He's only “chatty” with you and his clones, more so you.
A tired look crosses his face when someone's being particularly bothersome. Say, the authorities or an insistent stranger for example.
If you were with him, he'd look at you to fix it, but since you're not, he'll handle it himself. i.e. a precise swift jab to the throat that'll get them to keel over long enough for him to scamper somewhere else.
Zohakuten
Conflicting love hating attention seeker.. He can't help but hate how your mere presence makes the others and himself worse versions of themselves, but he can see why. Having your attention is like basking in the warmth of the sun again..
He rarely shows up, only when the four are panicked and desperate, but the first time is probably extremely tense........ he'd reprimand you for screwing up the minds of his clones and scaring the main body constantly.
He doesn't separate, wanting to see what the big deal is. Having Zohakuten follow you around or dragging you places while getting insulted, you're mostly babysitting him at this point.
He may not be a child in the usual sense, but he definitely uses his appearance to benefit himself. Big eyes, grumpy frown with his chubby cheeks and that usually gets people to believe him if he's lucky.
It's whiplash inducing when Zohakuten's face and way of speaking don't match (it's easy to forget that all these freaks have the mentality of an over two hundred year old man.) He uses an older way of speaking and their inflections.
He's not free from the common ground that is wanting your attention even if he's almost always complaining that you're the source of their corruption. yet he still doesn't try getting rid of you aside from a couple insults. Though it can get annoying when he's constantly on your case.
Zohakuten is extremely defensive of the main body. Hesitating when it comes to him isn't a problem. He's like Sekido where he punches as a warning in that sense.
He's very kind with Hantengu, and surprisingly you who now falls under the category of needing protection.
Hatred is part of his nature so if you're alone with him, that hatred focuses on you, but it's mixed with affection. He only really huffs at you and occasionally tries swatting you when you get too affectionate.
He's critical of his older clone counterparts.
If there were a setting where Zohakuten coexisted with his them , he'd be very antagonistic even if it's to a lesser degree than opponents. He's going against them then complaining to you about it so you can be careful of their misdeeds!
He sees their actions as the main reason Hantengu gets bullied and falsely persecuted. they fool around too much instead of doing their job properly that it grinds Zohakuten's gears..
He'd probably call Karaku and Urogi manwhores for showing off so much skin. Sekido and Aizetsu are on thin ice but they'd still get called harlots for wearing their collars so open.
You're probably not free from his berating either but he excludes the derogatory insults.
Similar to Tanjiro in that one scene with Mitsuri, Zohakuten would grab your clothes and adjust it to be more modest. He can't have animals like those pigs looking at you!!!
That being said, Zohakuten is much more manageable compared to dealing with four smothering men.
Still.. he's less likely to listen to you and has a short fuse that can cause problems out of nothing. Plus, he's much MUCH stronger than what you'd be used to.
Luckily, there's moments when he tuckers himself out and he's quietly following you like a cat. He doesn't speak much then but glares at anything and anyone who gets too close.
He might look pettable, but don't do it or he might both claw at you and get a second wind.
It's best to stay alone with Zohakuten for as long as he's around. If someone else makes him or Hantengu upset, he'd focus his hatred into them and make up some deluded reason as to why they have to die.
They'll harm Hantengu first if they're allowed to live!! It'll be swift, but he can't promise it'll be clean.
It's pretty easy to get Zohakuten to get violent. it only really takes someone getting close to you or Hantengu until he's acting faster than you noticed he moved.
He doesn't really care if you get scared, it's all for the greater good. you're just spooked because his methods were taboo, but it's fine. Now all of you are safe..
He really likes trees and forests, so taking walks around there might be the safest bet.
Zohakuten wouldn't be as cuddly, more so because of some pride of holding himself up as the strongest pillar for Hantengu, but there are moments where he sighs and leans his head against you.
Being alone with you, Hantengu, and the peace of nature puts his mind at ease in a way it's not built for. Even his wood dragons come along, bellowing quietly and making the whole environment uncommonly calm. like he's almost a normal kid.
Serenity isn't forever of course and you must part from him eventually. It's not like he'll make it easy by any means though. His brattiness shines through here where he hides some essentials of yours that make it impossible for you to leave.
Your shoes, outdoor clothes, utilities, anything that'll make your life more difficult so you'll stay home. Yes, he knows you have a life outside, but he doesn't like it when you come home smelling different. It's concerning!
If you somehow manage to escape, you'll only see his hateful eyes from his safe spot in the darkness. Throughout the day, the occasional concern chill creeps up, and coming home reveals why.
It's a disaster. Everything is trashed and turned over in what looks to be a tornado hit. Except the tornado was just a small tyrant sulking in your bedroom. The tantrum didn't comfort him at all and all he wants is you.
When you come back, he's berating you and calling you the worst person imaginable! He grabs your arms tightly then nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.
He doesn't apologize, but helps clean up after he's done, wanting to spend time with you. It wasn't the same without you and he loathes how the difference is so tangible now.
It's unfair how he's tasked to protect you too, but now that he's met you, there's specific conditions that need to be met to be allowed to see you again. He's not here for long and people around you get to meet you whenever they'd like. it's really not fair!
Maybe after a while, Zohakuten would learn not to act first if you PROMISED to keep your interactions with others to a minimum.
Even If you don't, he'll remind you by cutting your conversation or starting an argument that'll quickly get lethal if not stopped in time.
The way this guy swears like a sailor is incredible. Very foul mouthed. He talks bad about people, even sometimes to their face. It's also painfully accurate. Zohakuten can really cut deep with his words alone.. even be problematic
so fingers crossed he doesn't slight the wrong person.
While he doesn't really need to, he tries getting you small trinkets to keep so he's with you when he's separated.
All stolen of course, or so the woman from the market says, but it's not true! he made it himself, what kind of person would spread lies like that?!
Note: Zohakuten is a platonic yandere. Like the boyfriend's bratty younger brother who likes you so he cock blocks everyone to hang out with you trope
You can try asking for help, but people have seen what they're like without you.. they're like a blender without a cap. The contents will go everywhere, and it'll be chaos. UNLESS, the blender has its cap, you.
With a heavy heart, people usually give you sympathetic glances if you ever do interact briefly and quick words of comfort if they can. at least you're well taken care of by those freaks.
i love them all theyre awful.....
Tl;Dr
Hantengu is delusional and obsessed, where he thinks you'll harm him if he gets too close, but can't stay away from you for long or else he freaks himself out Sekido is the jealous possessive mother fucker who's very rude but surprisingly gives you extremely special treatment. Karaku is the obsessed self aware one, but that's wasted because he loves causing problems on purpose and embarrassing you with love. Urogi is the Intoxicated delusional one because you gotta be delusional to be as happy as this guy.. also animalistic. Too raw about his feelings........ Aizetsu is the manipulative stalker. He acts like he's the good boy when he's just as shit as the others who also somehow knows everything about you. Zohakuten is the love-hate attention seeker. it infuriates him how you "wont leave his main body alone," but he secretly thrives on your attention and will cock block at every point and time.
#null rot#yandere hantengu#hantengu clones#hantengu#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#zohakuten#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#i fear i was all over the place#DO YOU SEE MY VISION?? OH MY FUCK IVE BEEN WAITING TO YAP#GOD. AGAIN IM SORRY IF THIS IS EVERYWHERE. I DONT EVER JOT DOWN MY THOUGHTS#FUCK I KEPT WANTING TO HAVE SIMILAR WORD COUNTS BUT I NEVER SHUT THE FUKC UP AGHGHGHH#LISTEN MAN they're sO perfect as yanderes. they're so similar to each other but distinctly different.#Having a core emotion fuel most of their decisions and reactions is the perfect way to hook in your cult leader#the hantengu and zo were added for those few lovers of them out there. i also really like them#i left the relationship with hantengu ambiguous for those gilf hunters out there. it can be read as romantic or platonic!#AND LIKE BRO THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYINGLY CLINGY I HATE HOW THEYRE SO CARING YET NOT AT THE SAME TIME....... BRO SHUT THE FUCK UPP#ITS ABOUT THEIR POSSIBLE NUANCES BRO.... I DONT WANT TO HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM BUT THE **PARASITES** THEY CRAVE BRAIN ROT#GYAHHHHHH THEYRE ALL SO GOO D WHY ARE THEY ONLY SHOWN SO LITTLE.... FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm a sappy bitch. call me dom from fast in the furious. i love these stupid mother fuckers fighting and working together for you#THEYRE ALL BROTHER CODED#AS FOR THAT DRAWING I IMAGINE THEYRE HEAD TURNERS. THE MOST GORGEOUS GUYS EVER BUT THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE SO UNAPPROACHABLE... IM CRYING#yandere is just a twisted and more intense form of love...... hell yeah theres some nuiances there#i was playing with colors. i hope nothing looks strange!
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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The day I stop being afraid to draw wrinkles it's over for y'all
#slowly but surely#I have a couple link sketches I'm gonna post tmr#ive been thinking about these two a lot lately#uhm#for newcomers it's basically a totk roleswap but it's linked universe#so time gets thrown back in time instead#and also he's like#late 30s mid 40s I've not decided yet#two middle aged men#who have never in their lives chilled the fuck out for varying reasons#learn to chill tf out together#I have a timeline in my head I should write it down#my art#the legend of zelda#tloz#ganlink#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk#ocarina of time#oot#majoras mask#loz mm#loz link#ganondorf#loz ganon#totk ganondorf#hero of time#Jesus fuck#is that all the tags
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be nice to me!
#myart#wesley crusher#nick locarno#i dont even care about them. ignore this👇#the beautiful dynamic ive built in my head. wesley (most easily manipulated being on this earth) idealizing nick for letting him on the tea#as a sophomore. and trying to live up to that and reallyyy looking up to nick. coach surrogate father and best friend all in one. yeah.#yeah you WOULD look up to him mr . dead father. anyway#and nick having more influence over wes because hes a sophomore and he specially picked him. and using that to his advantage#nick wants to shape wesley in his image wes just wants friends and is terrified of letting nick down. theyre not friends its so much worsee#and then wes realizing that. AGAIN. nicks just been using him. and the last thing nick does is take the fall for the team.#so he wants to hate him and cant and then nick explodes 8 years later . and . yeah !#i think he acts like he hates him more than he does and turns him into this villian in his head. because he cant admit it was his fault too#he wants to just pin the blame on nick and convince himself hes been evil all along. because he doesnt want to admit he misses him#nick was a good team leader and was in over his head and took it out on wes and he was 22 and didnt know what he was doing but he wasnt evi#ANYWAYYYYYYY now i start listing the like 20 EE songs that remind me of them:
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I want to work more on this before I'm gone pet-sitting but I don't know how much more I'll accomplish today so.,.,. I will just share this neow...
#this is the first time ive drawn all their true forms first for a line up#i always end up drawing foxgloves host and usually chings host too#im gonna of course do a version with all their hosts#tyv i know is technically in his host but i did draw his actual head#i just overlaid it with his tv#i tried to set up this line up so i could remove and add accessories#without having to erase or redraw stuff#thats also why hollys legs can be seen thru his skirt because i didnt color his skirt in yet lol#i also am trying to give any character with long enough hair to style an 'up' and 'down' version#this has been fun so far :3#brambleramble#when its done ill make a more HD link to the full pictures#i knowwwww i know tumblr compresses large images
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i was supposed to post these ummm. whenever i did that poll eons ago. but then i didnt because i was ❤️ shy ❤️. so im dumping them all now
#not very pretty bc my cameras shite and i can only draw on notebook paper and i edit it different every time. but idc. take it or nothing#not tagging any of these characters. just some amalgamation of zoro zen genji and ocs#if u see this then its bc it was destiny. whatever dude#and if ive already posted any of these doodles before dont tell me i dont wanna know#anyways. all this to say i notice that ive been posting at least weekly this summer so thatll probably slow down now#im starting my 2nd yr of college and its really nerve wracking bc i had a really awful summer and past yr really#so unless i start posting more of my notebook doodles like this i MIGHT not post art as often as before#just a heads up#not on histus. just already tired and stressed and its only the first day#wtf... art
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i shutter and shake the memory is raw and it's awake
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johnny's tattoos are thanks to @vinkumakkara, who very nicely cleaned them and posted them on their tumblr! thank you again!!
#aisha#johnny gat#saints row#saints row 2#is there a ship name??? ive been calling them gatsha in my head#lyrics from raw and awake by chris garneau#aisha's death DESTROYED me. it was so brutal. she was helpless. all that talk about honor and for WHAT#and i know we're ignoring sriv LMFAO but.#johnny living it again and again and again and again and again............. GOD#i mean i imagine while it still hurts to think about the grief is not as fresh or big anymore once in srtt or sriv but#having to confront that impossibility again after the scars have healed. that he could save her. maybe this time he could save her#lies down in a gutter#doodly thingy#saints row tag#oh yeah also i did heavily ref a pose for hte polaroid picture :o)#blood /#guns /
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And thus, with the passing of 24 hours, Caeru's ambition truly comes to an end. Major Nemesis spoilers below the cut- we're talking endgame ambition business here. Mostly on a character RP front.
The Doomed Scientist made quite a few... choice decisions, in the end. Killing Cups once and for all, recording his story as one of grief-
And sparing what little remained of Mr Mirrors, leaving it free to roam Parabola as it sees fit.
Some of them, he can explain. Others, he's still left to feel... discontent.
Cups needed to die. That much was certain from the start. It was a tyrant, as all Masters are, and complicit in the bargaining and eventual destruction of four (potentially five) cities, as all Masters are. It was an obstacle. A murderer. A petty monster that felt no remorse even on its deathbed, and it went out of its way to ruin multiple lives just because it felt owed its own sick and twisted idea of revenge.
It killed his first love. It looked him in the eyes and he knew what it had done and he knew from the start it was going to die.
Perhaps, in the end, it knew too. And yet it still pleaded, and wanted to live, and-
It made a bargain.
A bargain Caeru didn't take.
Not because he didn't want to. Gods, he wanted to. He wanted it. He wanted it more than anything else in the world. To have Greylu back, to give him the gift of life, of love, to show him the wonders of the Neath and the beauty of the correspondence and all of the people Caeru has met and loved and found home with along the way-
But. He couldn't.
Because Cups was a monster. And no matter what, it deserved to die. And he could not, in good conscience, allow it to live.
Even if sparing it meant everything he's ever wanted.
So he's left here, now. With a bloodied traveling coat, and a bloodsoaked knife, and a favor finally fulfilled.
And nothing to live for. No resurrected lover, no charming visits to Helicon, no slow dances in the living room, no memories to rebuild and lives to live and he won't live again-
Nothing. All he has is a coat born of obligation, not to his love, but to people he's never even met. To lives he's never even touched. To a paramour, still alive, with hair of rose-pink, who doesn't even remember her own brother's existence.
Cups didn't die for Caeru's sake. Cups died for the sake of all who wanted it dead. For the revenger's court, and the ghost screaming in his ear, and the reckoning that will not be postponed indefinitely.
And Caeru, who acted as a tool to carry out their wills? Who all but betrayed his own lover, just to satisfy a cause he never knew existed?
All Caeru is left with, is regret. Regret-
-And grief.
#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#nemesis spoilers#so! nemesis huh!#i have. a lot of thoughts#overall i think heart's desire remains closest to my heart#but that's almost certainly bc of the obvious ''you always remember your first'' bias#there's a lot of problems with nemesis that have been talked to death by other people way more eloquently than i could ever express#(the big notable stopgates littered throughout. the weird pacing at the end. the fact you never meet your actual nemesis til the finale)#but overall i still liked it a lot!! i loved it actually!!! it singlehandedly made me like cups as a master!!!!#not because of anything nemesis actually DID mind you. i just really liked making up things about it#in place of nemesis. actually featuring it.#which could either be a plus or a minus against the ambition depending on what angle you look at it from#but. yeah. i'd say i enjoyed it. i enjoyed it a whole bunch#and now that ive played 2 out of the 4 ambitions and my FL hyperfixation evidently isnt letting up#it's safe to say we're all here for the long haul#tune in (insert miscellaneous time in the future) for when i finally after like a year and a quarter#get to find out what the fuck truly goes down in light fingers#and also keep an eye out for that caeru-centric fic ive been unsubtly alluding to and still need to write.#ive got a whole outline for it and it's. well#you'll all see when (if?) i finish it#i have some ideas abt how i wanna play around with the nemesis endings + what they mean to caeru#(and i do mean endings as in both of them)#and it all may seem. insane. when we get there#but i swear i have a direction plotted in my head#i swear#scoundrelventures#<- the scoundrel isnt mentioned At All in this post but that works as a general FL oc lore tag
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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i ahvenmt drawn in a whle tbh idk what ive been doing 4 a while
#i dont ship sunny x evbo dont get me like htat#WHAT I AM SAYING IS 1-SIDED CRUSH#SO TAKE THAT HOW U WILL#yeahhhhh B)#omg him B)#omg sunny?!?!?#sunny nate#i srsly dont know what ive been doing 4 a bit#i think i just got rlly rlly down & blanked out fo the past couple((?)) days?#but were better know totally absolutely yeah#aka ive been taking my dog on a walk since the weather has been down & i think iom more in my head more so like!!!!!!#!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!! WERE BACK ION HEREEEEEEE#i need to like acutally tho like actually stay & chill tf out bc i can feel an impact about 2 happen#i can sense it smell it taste it even#uhhhhhhh anwyays#srry i ramble in the tags but their MY TAGS SO#sunglassess guy#parkour civilization#minecraft parkour#puppee art#mmmmmm i dont rlly like these @ all#again 1st doodles since whenever but njust BLHEEEEE
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doodol dump
#tomioka giyuu#kny makomo#kny sabito#giyuu#rengoku kyojuro#makomo#sabito#foxsquad posting#loserboy giyuu posting#loverboy sabito posting#neros art tag#been a while since ive drawn#also theyre all naked bc i draw shit head>hair>face>body>clothes/extra and i was just fucking around so i didnt bother doing clothes#scared together(silversun pickups) - gypsy bard(tlt?) - liar(rains) - kids(mgmt(codeko remix))#i tried to do color thing w soggy giyuu's hair i forgor to save to my phone. add that later#(btw ur not tripping thinking soggy giyuu looks different i went back and moved his eyes down some but that doesnt change thru reblogs so)
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happy bday paul <3
#so much love in my heart for him#hope he has a great bday#and that his 20th year brings him loads of happiness and success#honestly these were all just random gifs that i made towards the end of the season and that have been forgotten in my drafts#and now i remembered them and went “well now i have an excuse to post them”#so here we are#the gifs w rene look like theyve been sped up but i promise i didnt#some are slowed down though#hiM LEANING HIS HEAD ON RENES SHOULDER hes adorable#also the top middle and bottom middle..... forgot to put those in my hair post#the bounce 😭 dang#the macau moments are so dear to me :( his last time in prema#for now#hopefully will also post the paul short fic today 🤞 ive been away for handball all weekend but im gonna go on a 3 hour train back home and#probs will be able to finish it by then#yay#paul aron#f2#hitech gp#prema racing
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last thing i’ll say; people aren’t owed free content but creatives aren’t owed financial compensation either
#i say all this as a cretive btw lets head that off#their bottom line was ‘we want more money to make bigger things and we cant afford to so we want more money in order to do them’#and that is a valid desire#but you cant just expect everyone to go along with that just bc you want it#watcher got where they are due to a loyal viewer base#to reject money from corporations in favour of money from that viewer base? thats skeevy#to default to a complete and absolute paywall removing all your content then pretend that you weren't going to? thats skeevy#to make a countdown to an announcement then make the announcement a somber trip down memory lane#and an ‘if only we can make more stuff like this wink wink’? thats skeevy#and its skeevy bc theyre a company and no matter how personable they are companies are not your friend#are they the rich we should be eating? no#but when your ceo drives a tesla and eats expensive food that is written off as a buisness expense#AND you have a patreon that you dont capitalise on but still brings you on average 100k a month#you cant act like youre a hard done by creative#endevouring to make more elaborate creations is a good idea#monetisation is a good idea#absolute monetisation with no thought to an alternative isnt#name one indie artist that relies entirely on paid content ill wait#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#watcher#shane madej#ryan bergara#steven lim#hey there demons it’s me ya boy#ghost files
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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God. What if Pandora didn’t want to open the box. What if she was manipulated, her hands tied to and guided by strings she couldn’t shake off. What if when she released the horrors out into the world, Hope chose to stay with her, in the box. What if Pandora couldn’t rid herself of that guilt. What if Hope couldn’t convince her that not all was lost, and that she wasn’t responsible for the strings around her hands. That she wasn’t a monster.
What if Pandora and Hope found a way to trap everything in the box again. What if Pandora couldn’t do it. What if she didn’t want anyone else to feel the guilt she did. What if she thought that trapping the horrors in the box would just doom everyone into the same cycle. What if she felt she had to break it by bearing the suffering of everyone else. What if Hope tried to convince her that it could be better. What if she wouldn’t save herself. What if Hope had to kill Pandora for a chance to save everyone, including her. What if they both were sealed in the box. What if no one ever knew what happened to them. What if their last words to the world and to each other were “I love you.”
What if the world ending was never Pandora’s fault, but in her guilt and grief she blamed herself for it, and the Hope that voluntarily stayed by her side had to take her life to save it.
What if?
#ive been sorta rotating this around my brain the past week or so.#yeah.#anyways.#i will NEVER be over this#i just. once saw someone refer to martin as the ‘humanity that they’re saving and will save them’ or something along those lines#and well. hope and humanity are kinda the same thing arent they?#hell i think in some versions of the myth hope is actually referred to as humanity#and this just started rattling around my head#but i can’t quite get the words right#im going to post it anyway. because better to have written down something than nothing at all.#but i can’t quite get the words right.#it has however also made me realize that jumanji is also pandoras box#which is kinda funny#the magnus archives#mag 200#pandoras box#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#i guess now that ive processed it for a week or so. its time to listen to the post-season content and start the magnus protocol.#actually it may have been two weeks. i don’t remember when exactly i finished it.#anyway.#its late i need sleep.#tma#the magnus archives spoilers#tma spoilers#tma s5 spoilers#tma finale spoilers#how to tag this so that anyone listening for the first time does not see………
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