#shit im not ready for the end
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My first thought when jon said he was going for a cigarette was "no Jon don't do that the last time you did that someone died!!!"
Also this?!? what is this?!?


I'm crying screaming, throwing up
God I'm so unnormal about jmart
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i am unreasonably proud and excited about this
#disability#chronic pain#mobility aid#i am officially running a thing to make my university accessible#i am so ready to fight people over it and I've recruited a bunch of people#we may or may not end up in our local news too#im done with this shit#literally on Friday had to walk around the building bc the elevator broke again and i couldn't do stairs#should take 30 seconds instead took like 10 minutes
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I thought it would take me longer to get things ready to open an online shop, but I got my shit together this week and got a lot done
I might be able to do this sooner than I thought
#i was estimating having things ready for the end of april#but i might be able to have everything ready for next week#lets just hope the 'getting shit done' streak doesnt fall off#i just gotta get most of my inventory done and im gonna do that tomorrow#also print out some stickers for packaging#and desing a few things for the listings and im done#dg rambles
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i hope the astroid hits me or wtvr
#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#lana del rey#lana del ray aesthetic#girlhood#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#this is a girlblog#lana is god#lana unreleased#beauttiful girls#ready to kms#i wanna kms#im going to kms#kms#i want to kms#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#end it all#i am so tired#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#i hate it here#i hate this#i have no mouth and i must scream#i hate everything#bpd thoughts#send help#female hysteria
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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find us alive: in a horror setting, has horror elements and some parts that skew heavily towards it, but those elements are moreso to express the results of things like isolation, neglect, abuse, etc: the anomalous, and all the horrors of the foundation, are horrific because they are equivalent to animals being locked up and starved, and it's no wonder the -2s or the d-class act as 'scary' as they do given their living conditions. the real horror is tragedy, both predictable and unpredictable, and the capacity humans hold to neglect and hurt one another hymns for the road: flesh billboard flesh billboard FLESH BILLBOARD FLESH BILLBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#babbles#find us alive#hymns for the road#this is wholly complimentary towards both stories#hymns is making up for how much im not a fantasy guy with how EXTREMELY MUCH i am a horror guy#i love how off the chain we are with being nasty and gruesome its awesome i cant wait for these characters to resent and or kill eachother#by the end of this please god rend my road trip buddies asunder#give me more horrific shit im ready im so ready imso ready.#also that fua babble my god remind me to go on my tangent about the themes of neglect in fua GODDDDDDDDD
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just finished weak hero class 2. this is me rn.

#GUYS I AM SO OBSESSED W BAEK-JIN AND BAKU#THE TOXIC EX TROPE THAT WONT LEAVE U TF ALONE#EATING THAT SHIT UP#i already saw one edit that made me crash out#i kinda dont like how it ended just cause he didnt deserve to die 😭😭😭#hes not evil 😭😭😭#but im also grasping at straws that he might just be pretending#to be dead cause the gang is after him after alm the trouble he caused#so maybe hes not actually dead#im so ready to consume so much of their edits and fics bro#IM EVEN CONSIDERING WRITING ONE HAHA#i just wish he really isnt dead cause i would hate that#beomseok got away without much consequence#(yeah theres the trauma and all but aside from that#u have to admit that he got lucky)#but baekjin whos not even that bad#died ??? nahhh u have to be jokiiing#i still need to see him and baku hug#weak hero class 2#weak hero class 2 spoiler
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And then we have the other side of BT fans that are saying Oliver was talking about Tommy with the slow burn, will they won’t they.
Like…… who wants to tell them it’s not a slow burn will they won’t they if they are already together. Which with how often they like to throw out the “Our ship is canon” defense you’d think they wouldn’t forget that 💀
I saw that and I legit stared at it for a bit. And it's funny because during the hiatus they were all "it's so great bt isn't a slowburn, it's so real, no unnecessary drama, they just got together" and now they are backtracking HARD. The ship already sailed. They are together. You can't make a slowburn out of someone who met on episode, was kissing the next, was getting invited to weddings the other. They can't be a slowburn. But now they are scrambling saying they're gonna break up because Tommy is rightfully weirded out by Buck and we will watch the slowburn in the form of Buck trying to win Tommy back. Like????? I wish I believed in anything as much as they believe bt is endgame because holy fuck, their hope is almost inspiring.
#i saw someone say madney was a slowburn to justify this#and im like????#at no point there was a question that madney would end up together#they meet and buck accuses them of dating the next episode#they dont get together instantly because maddie communicates shes not ready#shit happens they communicate again that they are not ready#they are ready they get together they have a kid#shit happens they communicate that they are not ready#they get back together they get married#that's not a slowburn thats a develop relationship#not that they would know what thats like#911#i really need a tag for asks#911 spoilers#anti bucktommy#spy network
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#tried rlly hard to shade this like skin blender idk but gave up and just half toned it#my shading is shit and I can’t draw astarion for shit#man i hate realism#why do i keep trying to do it#anyways i hate the way this came out but i feel bad for not posting today#my art#art#digital art#sketch#astarion#astarion bg3#bg3 astarion#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#bg3 fanart#bg3 art#baldur’s gate iii#concept art#i should stop comparing my art to other’s bcs everytime i try to change my artstyle and force myself to draw in a new style i fail and die#the way i pick up art styles is just fun experimentation and somehow never made by studying other people’s artstyle#im not ready for my holiday to end but at the same time i feel like most of my bad thoughts are generated by too much free time#so mayhaps losing my free will for like 12 hours a weekday will fix my sads so uhhh#idk man#nobody reads these tags so i can say whatever i want#if you’re reading this uhhh#sorry you had to read me vent in an shitty astarion doodle post
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day two the lengthening is an act of love
#digital art#mine#my art#fanart#vocal synth#utau#utauloid#michishirube kiro#doodle#i might get expelled from school tomorrow gyahhh#im so sick of this shit#you have no idea how hard im fighting to not print a photo of my headmaster with his mistress and hand it to him tomorrow#but whtaever i will try my best to sort rhis out#i am literally gettin gtold off for doing my school work#its so shit sigh#cries#i need to be in school early to tlak with him too#be ready for me to open coms like#tomorrow#if i do what they tell me i might end up with no grade in one of my 3 subjects#like a complete zero#where as i am currently aiming for an E grade#is that a good grade no#but once i do my work to an E level i can do work to get a C or even an A#however if i do the work for the C level or the A level now it will mean nothing#as you need all the E done and all the C for a C grade#and you need to do all the E work C work and A work for an A grade#but im being forced to do some E work some C work and some A grade work#even though we havent even been set all the E grade work yet#so doing any of the C grade or A grade work right now is pointless
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#its so interesting to watch disinformation spread on the internet. and i mean through communities of very online people. not thru offline#ppl who just dont understand how the internet works. its so strange. like if you say something with enough conviction and if you have enough#online clout you can warp reality around your mistruths. its like that succession line im misremembering. you dont predict the future u say#things and the ppl around you scramble to make them true. and bc no one actually cares or has their own bias they never try to understand#the situation. and its so hard for me to tell where the reason behind that misinformation orignates. is it knowing lies to insight#harrassment? a huge distortion of perspective thru ego and echo chamber? or actually being a total moron? its so strange#i dunno. the internet is also very strange in that people as a collective are absolutely incapable of handling conversations that are even a#little bit complicated. you see it all over the place but its especially apparent when you watch live stream chatters flip the fuck out when#a streamer says something they disagree with even a little bit or theyre charitable to opposing perspectives. and its so baffling to me bc#everything in life is complicated and its insane to not want to interact with that even a little bit. so you end up with creators who r#audience captured bc they're afraid of upsetting ppl and that pushes communities to be unempathetic and hostile#and ready to devour anyone who doesnt meet the standards of their rigid purity test. and. in some particularly unhinged circumstances#streamers and particular member of their audiences will ensite hate under the guise of pretending to care about historic tragedies ongoing#in the world. like bro just bc u feel u have the moral high ground on one particular point does not mean u r completely immune from all#criticism and u can say truely horrifc shit abt something else and allow ur chat to be really gross. ur using the death of children to#deflect criticism wtf is happening? and again its not a clean situation. its messy. good and bad things r happening in these communities but#like there is so much content being pushed out that its almost impossible to keep track of if u arent terminally online so normies just hear#things that may or may not be true and make a black and white judgment on it. and then u get this bloated backlash based on misinfo bc#someone has a louder voice in a particular space. its madness. very interesting to watch it play out in a kind of disgusting way.#and someday there will be this empty record of an internet war no one cares abt anymore. so strange. anyway. terrible things happening in#the communities of streamers. if the internet does anythinf well its magnifying hate to obscene levels#unrelated
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OH LINK CLICK WE’RE REALLYYYYY IN IT NOW
#IM SOOO FUCKING READY!!!#the ending oh my god… cheng xiaoshi you are never beating the doomed dead wife allegations#ALSO THAT BLOND LADY… IM DYING TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HER#i wonder why she wasnt promoted in any official art the way house of the hotheaded were…#AHHHHHHHH. also the ed was SO PRETTY like holy fucking shit link click really outdid themselves#and h th e song was so sad it’s so like. unlike overthink and the tides? i fear we are COOKED#ohhfjfjgjfnd sorry im vibrating with excitement ive never been more excited for something#LETS GO LINK CLICKERS
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Honestly real sick of everyone seeming to be ok with wasting other people's time
#i have a friend coming over and he promised to get here nice and early so we could hang out since hes only.staying one night#said he would leave at 9. ended up leaving at 11:30#then he picked someone up and they took ages getting ready too#so i was expecting him to be almost here by now and im sitting here waiting and hes still two fucking hours away#and ive just had lots of that shit in the last few days and im so tired of it#people just not realizing how much theyre inconveniencing people. not being considerate at all. not thinking of others#it pisses me off
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We're home but I'm a 1000x more stressed out here
#like. our apartment is a shitshow and has been for years at this point#and that always makes me anxious#but now theres like a month worth of shit i have to figure out plus the og shit#and like. im so scared that nothing is clean enough and shes going to get an infection now#especially because now we have our little boy again and all his hair and we have to trim his fucking butthole again and im spiraling rn#im just tired probably but like. i am extremely overwhelmed by trying to clean and organize this apartment and idek how to ask for help#plus we might have to move in a few months anyway because my gf is losing her job at the end of may#so it just feels dumb to fix everything just to take it all apart again#even though thats not how shit works#idk. i think my brain is partially stuck in homeless mode so being ready to move at a moments notice feels better than settling into a space#it'll get better eventually#i just hate all of it#makes me want to throw everything away but also not#also im p sure theres crazy mold going on in the walls so i just feel shittier here and its harder to go places because of how many stairs#i used to love coming home after trips but i genuinely dreaded it the whole time we were gone#.....also not having an animal to think about was so nice#i love our cat ofc but wow i struggle sometimes with the inherent mess that comes with him#just more shit i have to clean#gonna blow my brains out actually jesus
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i lived by one republic | 1 2 3 4 5
"Yeah, with every broken bone I swear I lived"
#poetry posts#jack eichel#vegas golden knights#yeah im back on my shit#when i was getting this ready to post cam informed me they sang this in the last ep ever of glee#which makes it so much fucking funnier#for anyone reading this that last pic of jack as a sabre is from like his second?? last game w them#or somethign like that#close to the end yk
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#ffffftf spent like an hour and a half cleaning up my room instead of making content#i mean like its not time wasted but im so tired rn lol i gotta do something complicated for the content and idk man#i dunno if i can finish that within like a day lol#lemme try but fuck my room needed this organization#it could use more obviously (always) but i have deadlines to meet rn i can do the detail work later#i should probably sort my sewing box at some point its kinda a wreck but like#WHY AM I PLANNING ALL THAT SHIT I GOTTA TRY AND DO THIS THING FOR TOMORROW#oh wait lemme do one more quick room thing then ill try to get content done#see lol like it never ends i keep seeing more things like 'oh thats an easy thing lemme do that'#weeks of executive dysfunction cured by a hardcore (hardstyle) dj set lol#ok lemme do that and then shut off the big overhead light its so irritating at night lol#delete later / /#oh and like 'taxes' is also a deadline for me coming up lol ive been ready to do it since december but i just... didnt yet#its just so irritating doing the online forms that are allegedly free and then after u do all the work theyre like 'jk pay us $50'#fuck no lol#anywayyyy im procrastinating bc im so fucking tired man#pray that i can cobble something together pls bc i dont wanna set all this stuff up...#...if its not gonna be anything cohesive
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