#shipping aro culture

[aro-culture-is]

Shipping aro culture is shipping characters for the aesthetic and/or comedic potential they have

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[redysetdare]

"This fandom is so queer friendly!" This fandom literally hates, bisexual, trans, nonbinary, and aspec people but ok.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Sure it’s not like there’s like a bagillion other multilayered types of human relationships that could make a person act in a certain way, right

[slothyykittee]

I hate when this happens I hate when this happens

Also posted on twitter!

[heartless-aro]

“Aros can still date!”

Yes, they can. But do you actually make an effort to learn about the experiences of partnering and romance favorable aros, or do you just use them as a gotcha whenever people explain how your words and actions contribute to aromantic erasure? When you write romance involving aromantic characters, are you actually making an effort to acknowledge how their aromanticism might affect the way they would approach a romantic relationship, or are you writing them as an alloromantic character while tacking on the disclaimer that “it’s okay, because some aros date!”?

Are you shipping those aromantic characters because you’re interested in reading and/or writing stories about those aromantic characters navigating romantic relationships that may involve little to no romantic attraction? Are you interested in seeing those characters explore how their aromanticism affects what romance means to them and what their boundaries are in a romantic relationship? Or are you going to ignore their aromanticism altogether and reimagine aromantic characters in a way that conforms to amatonormative and allonormative notions of what a person’s life and relationships should look like?

The problem with shipping aromantic characters isn’t just that it’s often done with characters who are pretty heavily implied to be romance averse. It isn’t just that some people who ship aromantic characters are treating the characters’ aromanticism as an nothing more than an obstacle to their ships rather than treating aromantic representation as something worth celebrating in its own right. It’s also the fact that a lot of people in fandom spaces treat partnering and romance favorable aromantics as being “basically alloromantic” instead of actually respecting the identities and experiences of romance favorable and partnering aros.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I keep seeing a lot of posts talking about how Aromantic characters are being shipped, and the most common response is “but some aromantics can date!”

That is true, however I know they aren’t seeing the full picture.

Hello! I’m someone who identifies as aromantic who is in a romantic relationship. I don’t speak for all of us but I know my aromanticism affects my romantic relationship.

Just because I’m dating someone and I’m romance favorable, doesn’t mean that I am allo romantic in this relationship. The bond between my partner and I is romantic, platonic, and queerplatonic all mixed into one.

Me entering a romantic relationship does not change my identity at all. Even growing up when I thought I was straight, my aromanticism was affecting how I got crushes. 

Just because aromantics can date doesn’t mean that the romance is going to be a typical one.

And, I feel like when people are just shipping aromantic characters they don’t do a dive into how being aromantic might influence that relationship.

Anyway I can only speak on my own experiences, but I’m sure for a lot of aromantics in relationships that they label as a romantic one, their aromanticism affects it somehow.

Also, this is not me saying that aromantic characters can never be shipped. But there are nuances to all relationships and identities.

Do some research, talk to aromantics, but remember no one person speaks for the whole community.

[feelingthedisaster]

something that annoys me a lot in fanfiction as an aromantic is when people dont tag important platonic/familial relationships but tag random romantic stuff

i remember this fic in which there were platonic relationships that were almost as important as the main romantic ship, yet they werent tagged. but a romantic relationship that didnt even had a full scene was tagged.

there are millions of fics that do this. why only tagging romantic stuff? you have non romantic relationships in your fic that are just as important. tagging them would actually help the fic to get more readers (the ones looking for fics with gen relationships) but no, the romantic couple that had ¼ of chapter (of a multichapter fic) was a more relevant tag. wonder why

[our-arospec-experience]

Uhhh when ur aro and in the Fandom and you love the ships and all (romance-ambivalent) but then sometimes its like. Bro. Can we talk about this other thing too.

absolutely

[a-flaming-triple-a]

Shippers claim they aren't amatanormative/arophobic but then they make a post saying "there's no platonic explanation for this" and it'll be a photo of two characters hugging. Or smiling at each other. Or holding hands. Or sharing food. Or saying they love each other.

Sorry to break it to you, but none of those actions are inherently romantic. I do all of these with my friends. This proves nothing about the validity of your ship. Guess what, you can ship anything and it doesn't have to be supported by the text. Don't make it out like platonic interpretations are wrong just because you want validation from the text. There is always a platonic explanation, you're just cowards who believe romance is the only interesting dynamic between two people.

[curlyhairedintrovertsworld]

what if i ship these people as friends, then what fuckers. what if i ship them as enemies because i made up a scenario in my head, then what? you gonna be a coward about it??? what if i ship these people as this person loves romantically, and this person loves in this is my forever friend with tax benefits??? what if i ship these people in they live together because they just seem like they would be the good roommates??? what if i shipped them in the most unromantic unspecified multilayered queer way possible??? what if what if what if what if- i'll fucking do it

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is "yes i ship these characters too but i do it in a far more interesting and cooler way than alloros"

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[ilovedthestars]

why are all the queer stories romance (unless they're about the 1 token ace person)

[gobstoppr]

hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

[strawberrus0da]

I like my ships in a perpetual state of pre-relationship and nebulous pining ok

[aroace-people-are-lgtbq]

Reasons I sometimes explore shipping fics/tags with aro characters

I want to explore their dynamic with another character

I headcanon them as being arospec

I hc them as in a qpr

I don't have enough content for the character

I don't understand romantic attraction so it can seem platonic to me

I'm very good at skipping kissing/sex scenes and pretending they didn't happen

Sometimes all of these things at the same time

Point is, there's some nuance to the discussion and I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect when it comes to this

But also, is it too much to ask for people, especially alloromantic people, to acknowledge and respect the very little aromantic, representation there is?

[redysetdare]

People who say "shipping isn't automaticall romantic" are willfully ignoring the context that surrounds the concept of shipping.

"ship is short for relationship! That means any relationship!!" and most people assume and mean romantic relationship. You cannot be this dense so I can only assume u are willfully ignoring this fact as a way to shut down conversation about aspec erasure and amatonormativity within shipping culture.

I can only assume you are not being genuine because anyone would tell you that if they say "I ship it" it means romantically. And no just becuz aspects use it differently won't mean everyone suddenly decides it doesn't automatically mean romance. Aspec ppl using it won't change the meaning because we haven't gotten to deconstruct the amatonormativity with the term and culture because people like YOU keep making poor faith arguments to shut us up.