polyam-aro-culture-is

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

It really says something that a lot of monogamous people consider polyamorous and aromantic to be "opposites" but every polyam person I know took one look at aromantics and said "they're just like me for real"

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

Please check out this blog I made!

Intro Post

Hello everyone! 

This is a blog for writers who are interested in writing AroAce (aspec) characters but may have questions about the identities. The goal of this blog is for writers to be able to submit questions and hopefully get some advice. 

If you aren’t a writer but you are aspec please feel free to follow as well, we would like to have a whole community of aspecs to give advice as well since this blog only has two admins.

As I said before, this blog is run by two admins. We are both arospec asexuals.

Mod Ryn is 23, uses he/they, and is amicusromantic and asexual.

Mod Atlas is 24, uses they/he, and is arospec and asexual.  

Now, here is how this blog works. 

If you are a writer looking for advice, please submit an ask. We will do our best to answer and if we don’t know we will still post it for others in the community to answer. 

If you are aspec, feel free to reblog or comment with your own advice for the questions. 

If you have a question that may need a follow up ask or two, feel free to use an emoji to identify yourself if you are on anon. Just don’t use a purple or blue heart because those are reserved for the admins. 

Due to the admins being adults, we have busy lives so our posting days will be on Sundays and Wednesdays. Depending on how many asks we get we will try to get as much posted on those days, up to ten a day. 

As soon as possible we will try to get a post set up for frequently asked questions to cover some basics. 

Last but not least, please be respectful, we are all trying to learn here and one person doesn’t speak for the whole community.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

the issue with shipping aro/ace characters isn't putting them into relationships, it's the fact that no one adds how their sexuality impacts the relationship at large. And how it'll always be different from your average romantic relationship in some way.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

AS SOON AS I POSTED THIS I GOT POWER

I know this isn’t what this blog is about but I need to rant for a minute.

I have been out of power since 7/8 when hurricane Beryl came through. The temperature is getting into the 90s each day and they’re “still working on the power.”

Centerpoint energy is a joke and this is the second time this year that I’ve been without power and unfortunately I doubt it’s a last.

I’m not asking for money but if you want to find places, I’m sure there are people who have donations open. Not just for Texas but also the Caribbean because they got hit harder.

But yeah this sucks.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

Still out of power and it’s estimated to be fixed by the 19th…

I know this isn’t what this blog is about but I need to rant for a minute.

I have been out of power since 7/8 when hurricane Beryl came through. The temperature is getting into the 90s each day and they’re “still working on the power.”

Centerpoint energy is a joke and this is the second time this year that I’ve been without power and unfortunately I doubt it’s a last.

I’m not asking for money but if you want to find places, I’m sure there are people who have donations open. Not just for Texas but also the Caribbean because they got hit harder.

But yeah this sucks.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I know this isn’t what this blog is about but I need to rant for a minute.

I have been out of power since 7/8 when hurricane Beryl came through. The temperature is getting into the 90s each day and they’re “still working on the power.”

Centerpoint energy is a joke and this is the second time this year that I’ve been without power and unfortunately I doubt it’s a last.

I’m not asking for money but if you want to find places, I’m sure there are people who have donations open. Not just for Texas but also the Caribbean because they got hit harder.

But yeah this sucks.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

sorry this isn’t a culture ask but do I count as a polyam aro if I’m aroace and have multiple queerplatonic partners?

Honestly, it’s whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to call yourself polyam because of having multiple QPRs then great! If you don’t feel comfortable with that you don’t have to use the label.

Personally, 2/3 of my relationships are QPRs and that’s part of why I call myself polyam. The other part is because I am open to the idea of having another romantic partner. However, due to my flavor of aromanticism I feel like it’s fairly unlikely that I will have another romantic partner. But I still call myself polyamorous because that is what I consider myself.

Long story short, use whatever label you feel most comfortable with, it’s your identity after all!

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

poly-aro culture is people telling you there needs to be at least some amount of jealousy in a relationship if you truly love each other and you have not one but two reasons why you never feel jealous when youre dating

Valid! Also I don’t understand why you need to feel jealous in relationships.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

this pride remember polyamorous people are so fucking cool

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

BAN THE BOTS!!! @staff

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

If every aspec (and more) on this site made a seperate post saying “ban the bots” @ staff and tagged it with as many pride labels as possible I think something might happen so imma ask people to do that (posting mine rn)

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

kill amatonormativity.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I keep seeing a lot of posts talking about how Aromantic characters are being shipped, and the most common response is “but some aromantics can date!”

That is true, however I know they aren’t seeing the full picture.

Hello! I’m someone who identifies as aromantic who is in a romantic relationship. I don’t speak for all of us but I know my aromanticism affects my romantic relationship.

Just because I’m dating someone and I’m romance favorable, doesn’t mean that I am allo romantic in this relationship. The bond between my partner and I is romantic, platonic, and queerplatonic all mixed into one.

Me entering a romantic relationship does not change my identity at all. Even growing up when I thought I was straight, my aromanticism was affecting how I got crushes. 

Just because aromantics can date doesn’t mean that the romance is going to be a typical one.

And, I feel like when people are just shipping aromantic characters they don’t do a dive into how being aromantic might influence that relationship.

Anyway I can only speak on my own experiences, but I’m sure for a lot of aromantics in relationships that they label as a romantic one, their aromanticism affects it somehow.

Also, this is not me saying that aromantic characters can never be shipped. But there are nuances to all relationships and identities.

Do some research, talk to aromantics, but remember no one person speaks for the whole community.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

Why do I always seem to miss Aromantic Visibility Day? Like I never see anything until it’s actually over. That is the one day I’m supposed to see stuff about aromanticism.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I know this blog isn’t about gender but I wanted to share this with the most people.

Okay, so while AFAB trans people not binding due to a lack of dysphoria is perfectly valid, and we do need to aknowlage that, I would also like to highlight that this is very much not the only reason for them to do so. Many can't bind due to either medical complications, an environment where they can't order things like that safely, a body type that doesn't allow for that or any number of other reasons. I personally am a transmasc person who can't bind due to the combination of my ADHD and sensory issues making it close to impossible for me to put on an item of clothing then taking it off within a matter of hours, which makes it insanely hard for me to bind safely (and also do a lot of other things). PLEASE don't assume that trans men and transmasc enbies who don't bind are just fine with their chest. It doesn't always work like that.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I made a blog!

Hey everybody!

My name is Ryn and I wanted to create a space for people who are Aspec and also polyamorous!

This blog can be for anything relating to that.

I also run @polyam-aro-culture-is

You might have seen me mention a discord so if you are interested let me know! (Though I’m aiming to have it be 18+)

I might do a proper intro post later but I am 23 and my pronouns are he/they.

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

I want to make a space for us polyam aros and aces, I just need to finish the discord.

As an aroace person who's polyamorous, I hate it

I don't feel like I belong in polyamorous spaces

I don't feel like I belong in aroace spaces

I don't know any others, and it's really isolating

It feels invalidating too somehow, that I can't be both. I know you can but I feel wrong for being both