#she names the baby LEONARD

[daftmooncretin]

remember the episode bones and that pregnant lady had insane sexual tension and then she went youre the father now btw but actually it was a trick and she hit him over that head with a rock. but she still liked him because she tried to protect him. and jim and spock were just kinda chillin in the background making bow and arrows and rolling around in the fields

[generalkenobee]

Would you do Spock headcannons?

Sooooo

•Spock is very reserved in public first of all

•And he won't do anything inappropriate outside of the bedroom, he doesn't want to risk anyone else seeing you in such a vulnerable position

•hand slut, kiss his fingers, hold his hands, run your finger tips up his wrists

•sometimes he likes to be the small spoon and have your hands rest on his chest/belly

•you know how friends will look at each other across the room to communicate? Yeah Spock definitely does that with you, like when Chekov does something stupid he's all like 😑😒

•when it's bed time and you're both laying together, sometimes you'll whisper in his ear about your day and talk to him untill he falls asleep (sensitive ears)

•calling him pet names for the first time? "Baby, honey, sweetheart, my special boy" he is flabbergasted. The affection that you show is something completely foreign and new, it's such a drastic difference from Sarek

•everyone else assumes he's a big strong Vulcan that doesn't need comfort or to be held but you see right through it

•hes talked to you about his mother and how horrible he feels for not giving her the affection she needs as a human when he was younger

•Spock cannot dirty talk you, he does moan and groan, especially when he's getting close. You'd run your hands through his jet black hair, saying how good it all feels and he can't respond. Instead he will give you a kiss on your cheek and grunt in your ear

•big fan of you saying his name "oh Spock.." he's literally spilling inside you the very next second

•very mature (if that makes sense) during sex. He's quiet and reserved and he's the same when you're intimate

•i think that Spock is so gentle but also deliberate during sex because he knows how much stronger and bigger Vulcans are than humans

•one time you called him "my favorite Vulcan" and I just think that made him feel a certain typa way yk?

•you have yelled at Leonard before for calling him a "green blooded hobgoblin" you pointed your finger on his chest and yelled about how it "wasn't funny" and that "you don't know what it's like to be another species" and that made Spock very happy

•the first time he says he loves you was after a very long talk

"I feel as though you would be happier with a human. Someone who can show you as much affection and love as you would need" Spock would say with his hands folded neatly in his lap, not looking at you.

"Spock. I love you so so sooo much, everything about you. You're smart, a talented harp player, handsome, strong, methodical..I love your ears..and your eyes, and your lips and hands...I want to be with you forever! I love you." You had said I love you before but he had never said it back.

"I love you as well."

•he likes to hold your hand when you're alone, your hand is always on his. Always

[maybe-boys-do-love]

What are some possibly significant queer associations with St. Bartholomew for Ticket to Heaven?

I'm glad you asked!

For those who don’t know, Bartholomew’s considered one of Jesus’s twelve disciples, but barely mentioned in the Bible. It's generally agreed that he is referred to also as Nathanael in the gospel of John, and as someone with the name Nathaniel, which means gift of God in Hebrew, I can tell you that’s a gay-ass name and will also def make me cry if I think too hard about Gem's character having that parallel during the show).

Bart’s often depicted holding his flayed skin (ew gross!) from when he got martyred, most famously in queer Italian Renaissance artist Michelangelo’s "Last Judgment" painting in the Sistine chapel at the Vatican. The skin St. Bart’s holding there is actually a (skinned) self-portrait of the artist. Peek at Aof’s insta and you’ll see that he actually visited the work. It’s giving queer influence in (Catholic) Christianity and autobiographical reference, baby ✨

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A post shared by Backaof Aof Noppharnach (@backaof)

Bartholomew and another disciple Philip, who was written to have introduced Bartie to the big JC party and to have traveled with him after JC’s post-post-mortem, are mentioned in a translation by Yale scholar John Boswell of a liturgy for an adelphopoeisis ceremony between two monks from the tenth century. Boswell argued that adelphopoeisis, or spiritual brotherhood unions in the pre-sodomy-law-era early church should be understood as same-sex unions. This, as most discussion of gay shit with the Church, has been controversial, although some of those controversies are issues with Boswell’s translation. There does seem to be some evidence that these spiritual brotherhoods were understood to have the potential to be sexual in nature. Either way, it seems likely Aof has come across Boswell’s ideas because it’s pretty prominent in discourse for anyone looking into gay Christian history.

THEN, although it might be unintentional, the Thai-ification of Bart is homophonic with Bath????!!!! If Bart can be short for Bartholomew, y'all are gonna have to let me stretch a little bit past Aof's official statement so Bath can be short for Bathsheba because...

Giving us another Biblical name reference but from the other gender who's THE example of coveting in the Bible/Torah is such a power move! King David sees Bathsheba bathing from his roof and has her over to sleep with him even though she's the wife of one of David's soldiers who's literally off fighting for his kingdom. Then he gets her pregnant. Then David has the poor guy over for dinner and doesn't admit to it, sends him back out and has him put in the front lines to get killed. He dies and Bathsheba mourns for a bit before becoming David's wife. It's heterosexual failure! It's the temptations of the flesh! It's one of the inspirations for Leonard Cohen's cold and broken Hallelujah! This connection reframes the queer temptations as something no less normal than heterosexual desire.

After all, David is the good guy. The celebrated little David who killed Goliath. It's essential to trace Jesus's lineage back to this most-celebrated king in the Bible for the messianic prophecies to be correct. So giving us a reference to this venerated and simultaneously deeply human figure really complicates the kind of Christianity that expects immaculate humans.

And, Bathsheba wasn't David's only paramour. Researching same-sex relationships in the Bible, David and Jonathan will be at the very top of the list. "The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul...Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his girdle." That's coming from the book of Samuel in the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, which was the first in 1946 to have any reference to word ‘homosexuality,’ using it to replace in the King James Version "abusers of themselves with mankind" and "effeminate” (which at that time did not have the common association with gay men the way it does today) on the list of sinners barred from heaven. Would David have been far enough on the Kinsey scale to qualify? Well, David had some other wives on top of Jonny and Bath, too. Whatever happened to family values!?

Of course, Bath also gives us images of washing and purifying alongside the sacrament of baptism!

The Bartholomew connection deserves more legit emphasis with Aof's statements and actual evidence for his visit to the Vatican, but how fun that the translation gave us another queer part of Christianity even if it wasn't intentional!

Complicating all of this discussion further is Catholicism's very late switch away from Latin and its more emphatic focus on tradition, hagiography, and liturgy rather than the text of the Bible. My ex-Christian fixation is on issues in Reformed Christianities (and I still love me some iconophobia, a topic with which Aof loves to engage), so I know more about the books and interpretations. I'm looking forward to the Catholic and ex-Catholic contributions here as the show gets underway. Like, y'all have been doing the most for production values of a Sabbath!

And to all my ex-Christians who can get sucked into spirals about this stuff, just remember that the concept of God is chill and all if it's just the comforting sense of connection between things in the universe, but any concepts of Christology, sin, or puppet-master deities are literally the most whack things if they're being thought of as anything more than a kind of out-there overly-simplified metaphor for trying to live a life where you can be yourself and get along with other people.

*This info and a great deep dive into the induction of the language and discourse of homosexuality in the Bible and its progressive! roots and aftermath is Reforming Sodom: Protestants and the Rise of Gay Rights.

[toasttt11]

introducing kensington

Kensington Grace Hughes was born July 3, 2005, making her the baby of her family.

From a very young age is was clear she had a natural ability in Hockey, She skated with an incredible speed and elegance that not many players had, Kensington has always seemed to have an ability to always be able get the puck into the net, from any angle, any distance, she could get the puck in just as easy from behind the net.

It was no surpise when she was one of the first picks of the 2023 NHL Draft, going second to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Kensington was accepted into Boston College, University of Michigan, University of Massachusetts Amherst, Princeton University, Harvard University, University of Wisconsin. Kensington didn’t want to go somewhere because her brothers went there she wanted to pick the school she wanted to play at, and it happened to be Boston College, she fell in love with the collage when she went there for the first time.

Kensington played two seasons with the USA Hockey National Team Development Program, breaking Jack’s record of all time points.

Kensington has always had a passion for music, loving anything to do with music and extremely enjoying how to learn new instruments. She’s a very great singer and if Hockey wasn’t her main passion she would’ve choose to have a career in music.

Kensington has always been a very sweet person, very caring and kindhearted, gaining the nickname Sunshine from her brothers when she was young and something that’s always stuck.

Kensington was known for being incredibly sweet but that doesn’t mean she always sweet like when she is on the ice. With three brothers of course they made sure she could fight, which is something she doesn’t usually do as she faster than most players in the ice and has no need to get into a fight.

Kensington has enjoyed fashion from a young age, something she shared with her mother Ellen, and then her brother Jack. At first Jack didn’t really care for shopping or anything fashion but he loves spending time with his little sister and mother so he grew to something he loved as well.

Kensington and Luke have a pretty close relationship having spent the most time together, especially with Jack and Quinn leaving home and Kensington and Luke still both being at home.

When Luke went to Michigan he was only a few minute drive from home and saw Kensington a lot especially because the USNTDP is based in Michigan as well, they could go to each other’s games pretty often. Luke ends knowing a lot more things going on in Kensington’s life then their other two brothers by having seeing her more often, Like Luke knows Kensington has feelings for Will Smith before she even realizes then herself.

Quinn and Kensington are very close and Quinn is definitely the one Kensington always goes to for advice most of them or just needing to be calmed down. Quinn tries to watch as much of her games as he can and if he is ever near by he tries to go see her play. Kensington always looked up the most to her oldest brother Quinn.

Jack has adored his sister from the moment he held her, his little best friend and his all time favorite person in the whole world, he’s very soft and sweet with his sister. His little sunshine has always been wrapped right around his fingers and everyone who knew Jack automatically knew who Kensington was as Jack is always bragging about his baby sister.

The three boys all absolutely adore their little sister, Quinn and Luke wanted a little brother but Jack hoped for a little sister and he was definitely the most excited for a sister, he even picked out her middle name Grace.

The three are all very protective of their little sister but also know to let her fight her own battles sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t do anything for her.

It was the USNTDP where she met the rest of her best friends Ryan Leonard and Will Smith. Kensington had joined the team with her best friend Gabe Perreault, the two met Ryan and Will and the four quickly all became best friends.

When Kensington was drafted to the Penguins within 24-hours she got a text or call from every player on the team, who all were very accepting of having a girl join their team soon.

The Penguins team all quickly grew to adore Kensington and by her first season playing they were very protective of their baby penguin, and other teams quickly learned not to touch her.

Sideny Crosby who is always keeping eye on kids in hockey leagues, had kept an eye on Kensington Hughes for awhile and was very hopeful she would get into the NHL, he was the first one to call her to congratulate her from the team. He took her under his wing and offered for her to stay with him and his girlfriend Kathy, during training camp.

Once Kensington moved to Pittsburgh for her first season, she got an apartment near Sidney and Kathy, the two always inviting her over for dinner and keeping an eye on her.

Evgeni Malkin and his wife Anna love Kensington, if she isn’t at Sidney house she usually at theirs. Their son Nikita adores Kensington and is always extremely excited to see her. The family started teaching her Russian.

[icyg4l]

Pick-An-Image: Messages from the Altar

To wrap up this Black History Month series, I will explore messages that the ancestors have to give for those with an altar. If you don't know what an altar is, it is basically a sacred space for you to connect with your ancestors. You should include the four elements (earth, water, fire and air) in this area. The altar is a place where you can lay your burdens, future plans and daily thoughts without human judgment. I will use the Hoodoo Tarot deck to conduct these pile readings as done before. So without further ado, let's get into it!

Left-to-Right (1-3):

Pile 1: You need to spend more time with your grandmother, whether she is alive or not. Connect with her by going shopping or lighting a candle and sitting a fresh cup of water on the altar. Your ancestors also want you to know that you should lay off on the coffee, it’s taking too much of your energy and your coins! You’re going to be someone special. Your ancestors are proud of the progress you’ve made. The people in this pile could struggle with some type of addiction or mental health issue. You may also struggle with some type of codependency but you’ve been working through that & your progress is being seen/admired. It is your responsibility to carry the torch! You were chosen to break generational curses and bring in new traditions. Don’t just say you’re going to do something without putting in the work. You’re going to have a breakthrough soon, just trust the process. And, if you have recently gotten into a relationship, your partner is ancestor-approved! The name Megan could be significant.

𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚍: 𝙰𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚃𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜, 𝙰𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚒𝚡 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜.

Pile 2: You need to cancel that subscription that you forgot about. You also should stop paying for self development courses because the work that you need to do can be found within you! You don’t need a life coach to tell you that you’re a mess. We all are! You like to carry a reputation of pride and virtuousness; you’re a real stand up-guy. It’s a shame everybody ain’t like that, huh? You could have recently gone through some type of betrayal. But don’t let this stop you from accomplishing your set goals. Keep your head held high. You need to let loose though. Shake your shoulders. Dance. Let the energy in your body flow. Minor setbacks aren’t meant to last forever, you know? This level up is about to go crazy. And congratulations in advance ;)

𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚍: 𝙼𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚜, 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚜, 𝚃𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚜, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚒𝚐 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎, 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚁𝚘𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚗.

Pile 3: You got that monkey on your back, chile. You know what attachment you need to get rid of. It’s messing with your ability to see clearly. Prioritize your self-esteem so that the words of other people won’t get to you so easily. For those of you that recently had a baby, she (female friend/older cousin that passed on) wants you to know that postpartum depression shall pass. The name Samantha could be significant. It will not break you, my love. She will make sure of it. Clean up the conflict or else your money problems will worsen, especially if you have beef with a coworker. You need to set boundaries with your father, especially since you’re grown now. Dealing with your physical ailment is terrible, I know. I wish I could be there to lessen the pain. It hurts to see you suffer this way.

𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚍: 𝙰𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚜, 𝙼𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜 (𝚁𝚇), 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚜, 𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜, 𝙼𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜, 𝚂𝚒𝚡 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜.

[mossyivy]

(If u already mentioned something about this then pls ignore this)

But the dynamic between Leon, his wife, and the kids it’s giving me — his wife’s mom loves him soo much/smothers him and same with the grandkids. While the wife’s dad…whenever they’re alone there’s that tension. That “oh, so you’re the one dating —err my daughter’s husband despite Leon and his wife being married for ever how long 😂 there’s always that dynamic lol.

Imagine they’re visiting the grandparents house. Kids excited. Violet acting like she’s not (she is), Cecilia happy and kicking her feet because she knows granny makes the best cakes/pastries, and Scotty..well whatever babies do. Babble.

While Leon is out here sweating and his wife all happy seeing her parents again.

Timeline establishing moment: they met in late '07- early '08. Got married in late '10 and conceived Violet on their honeymoon (they weren't fucking around with having babies). So if we're going by current times of '24 they've been married 14ish years...

Readers parents I'd imagine we're an old fashioned couple. Her father probably an Ex military general. Like, Leon even in the Army heard stories of this guy but never got to meet him until you brought him home to your folks. Your mother was just a homemaker raising her daughter on the words of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. Raising a strong woman with the love/compassion of her mother and the strong will/ambition of her father.

But yes! His wife's mother absolutely ADORES Leon. Every time they visit she immediately starts fussing at him about taking care of himself too along with the family. Probably shoves food on him like a dealer trying to sell drugs. Literally will not stop giving him kisses on his head and calling him "the perfect son she always wanted". Insists on him calling her Mom which he happily obliged. She's so happy you married a good man like Leon and gave her 3 beautiful grandbabies.

Her father... Oh God... The moment Leon hears his father-in-law mutter "Hello Leon." He's immediately like misses puff...

Leon is PETRIFIED of this man. Always calls him Sir. Even when her father calls him Leonard (literally not even his name...) The only bonuses Leon has going for him is working for the government (good pay and job security), can protect his family/army training and giving them grandkids.

But grandpa with their grandbabies... COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN. Super gentle and sweet, especially towards his granddaughters. Constantly slips them money. Grandma is doting over Scottie, she loves babies, and taking him off their hands.

Violet is constantly acting like she doesn't want to be there, but the second grandpa shows up it's like she's 5 again she's so excited. Cecilia too, running at top speed to throw herself at him. He slips them both $20, Cecilia excited that she got money runs back to her parents... So grandpa slips Violet another $20 cause he knows she's older. Knows the worth of money and before they leave they always get a fat check for each kids college funds their grandparents opened for them as soon as they found out they existed. (Ofc grandparents spend their retirement on their grandbabies)

Cecilia gets to go home with half a cake from grandma and frozen cookie dough because as good as a baker daddy is grandma's still the best (🙄)

Violet gets her money and a new crochet hat every visit. She has a collection of them that she keeps her pin collection stuck to.

Scott gets toys, a trunk load of toys and clothes that he can grow into. Plus a lot of advice on raising a baby... Like you two hadn't already been raising 2 girls but okay.

[asunsetgrace16]

⌜ ｓｕｎｓｅｔ ｒｅｃｓ ⌝

Will be in alphabetical order by last name

All credit to the original writers

These are some of my favourite fics, edits and other random things that I've found. Please give these amazing authors some love!

*smut

^ig edit

✧ 𝗔 𝗙𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗙 𝗠𝗬 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘

@bedsyandco - adorable blurbs, cutest everything, mwah 😘

@lovesickhughes - absolute cutie, fellow Bedsy lover, my BOA rival bestie

@cupidbedsy - I have to brag a lil, Emma is amazing person and her writing is *chef's kiss* phenomenal. she's my chaotic bestie on here

@olliesoakberry - cutest headcanons EVER

@nhlclover - some of the best fics I've ever read, definitely didn't absolutely got me into the BC boys

@chukys-mouthguard - such a creative writer and super fun person

✧ 𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗦

Mat Barzal

like something from the movies by @thewintersoldierdisaster

*Twisted in Bedsheets by @thewintersoldierdisaster

*we've come so far baby by @mendeshoney

Connor Bedard

^young stud by @marnerparty

Matt Boldy

belong to you by @nhlclover

Adam Fantilli

*Pent Up by @sc0tters

Luca Fantilli

missing you quietly by @bitchinbarzal

Jack Hughes

She's So Out of Reach by @theemporium

Vancouver by @bitchinbarzal

Luke Hughes

uh oh by @be4chywritez

Love Lost by @nhlclover

Love Earned by @nhlclover

Quinn Hughes

*thick thighs save lives by @scudevils

baby photos by @43-hugs

Just Give Me A Reason by @nhlclover

oh, my, my, my by @sweetteainthasummer

day by day, year after year by @43-hugs

Kent Johnson

Times You Were "Just Friends" by @drewsbuzzcut

Matthew Knies

Don't Chirp My Girl by @hockeybabe

Gabe Landeskog

a domestic evening by @drewsbuzzcut

Ryan Leonard

into you by @nhlclover

Nathan MacKinnon

Colorado (For the First Time) by @withwritersblock

The Fall of Home by @withwritersblock

monday morning by @matthewtkachuk

*Summers Back Home by @happer08

Fraser Minten

Always Been Yours by @lvrhughes

Owen Power

The Best Favour Yet by @sc0tters

Matt Rempe

at last by @mattrempe

Juraj Slafkovsky

Knight in Shining Armani by @itsjusthockey

Will Smith

Enemies With Benefits by @estapa-edwards

Trevor Zegras

The Morning After Always by @sweetestdesire

✧ 𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢𝗦

TAKE MY HAND: National Hockey League 2023-24 by @ijustdontlikepeople

[saintmuses]

❝𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙝, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙧❞

Pairing:

Lenny Miller x Reader

Summary:

She never got to marry, or bear children, or have a house with a white picket fence. She never got to grow old either. Even in death, she would never be able to escape from the man who loved her a little too much.

Warning(s): Death. Implied murder. Angst. Implied toxic relationship. Age gap (10 years apart between Reader and Lenny). Major power imbalance. Dark!Lenny. Minors, dni! Note: I was trying to make this something that you would read from a non-fiction crime book which includes many characters from Anna so it does not feel personal. Reader is a Russian American in this one. Also the switch between ‘Leonard’ and ‘Lenny’ is intentional. The title is from Mirrorball because I thought it was fitting of how it refers to the end of something, therefore the end of one’s life as they know it.

Word Count: 3.3k

1995

"It was something I would do, but I would've never expected her to do it. She and I were very different in that sense." Anna Poliatova, her best friend from childhood days murmured softly, her accent curled around the letters as she sat down in a chair for the interview regarding the crime documentary. She had eyes that were colored like the sky, and platinum hair, straight as spineless grass in the plains.

"1990 was something for her," she then laughed. "She met someone I never even knew about, but I found out in her diary of an early 1990 entry of a man named Leonard Miller."

April 16, 1990

Dear Diary,

When you meet someone, how would you picture meeting someone? One day, they would be a stranger to you, but they could be everything but a stranger tomorrow.

I didn't expect to meet Leonard Miller yesterday, but everyone knew of him. 

I mean he is an agent handler for Central Intelligence Agency, his reputation precedes him everywhere he goes in that workplace. What attracted me to him right away was how he eluded power and raw presence. He commanded attention as soon as he walked into the room. I had to talk to him because of my job; I’ve been assigned as a secretary for the director of CIA.

The day before, you would be doing something so mundane, right up to the moment, and that was when everything changed. I haven't felt this way in a long time, like a schoolgirl's crush on a man who is very handsome, but very off-limits. There’s a workplace code set in place for something like this. My brain had to remind myself that we cannot be more than just co-workers, no fraternizing around, but my heart didn't care.

I was never supposed to be that person.

Never.

Y/N.V.

Y/N Vasilisa—Love to those close to her due to the meaning of her last name—was born in New York in 1966 to her parents Arseni Vasiliy and Janet O’Conner.

Aurora, New York was a town where families would bloom while the others faded.

Arseni Vasiliy was born in Moscow, USSR, and migrated to America when he was nineteen and met a girl from a town over, then fell in love with her. They were married in 1964, two years before Y/N was born. "She kept him on his toes, and they made the marriage work. They had good years," his friend recalled, a brief appearance. "Really good years."

Janet, her mother was very protective of Y/N, perhaps because she was the baby, the only child of the family. They were close, close as best friends could've been.

The Vasiliys were the poster child of what family should really look like. It was a small family, but it was home.

Y/N met Anna Poliatovia in English class when she was a teenager. She came to America as a foreign exchange student from Soviet Union program. They were the duo that every girl was jealous of, and every guy wished they would've gotten together with.

Y/N Vasilisa was an honor student, had perfect grades all four years of high school, and became a valedictorian for her class.

Everything had changed a month before her graduation in 1984. Her parents died in a tragic car accident. Their slow but terrible deaths were caused by fire when a drunken driver of semi-truck crashed into them.

She moved to New York City after she graduated from high school, wanting to get away from the town that used to be so kind to her.

In a utopia world, no one would die. In the real world, parents weren’t supposed to bury their children. In a twisted sense, they made the natural order of death happen. Y/N had to bury them at eighteen.

She went to a community college while working for a company as a secretary during the week, and she would complete double shifts as a waitress at a restaurant on the weekends to be able to afford an apartment she lived in.

As Y/N struggled to make the ends meet, Leonard Miller was on his way to becoming an operative for CIA.

Leonard’s father was born in Europe in 1928, but his family moved to America specifically Hawaii in 1935, although it was not a part of fifty stars for another few decades. When his father was twenty-one, he met his wife at a shore, and they were married before finding a job as a constructor while his wife was a housewife and a mother of four children.

Elizabeth was the first and only daughter that was welcomed to the world in 1951, John was born two years later, then it was Leonard and Maxwell after that.

The family experienced a devastating loss when the patriarch of the family died of a heart attack at the age of fifty-three in February 1981, leaving his wife, children, and grand-children behind.

While the women of the family were soft-spoken, soft hearted; the men were stolid, hardworking, and they set their minds to succeed in America.

All men but one worked for a construction company that their father built with his partner. The company became Miller and Co. when it thrived in Pearl City, and the boys except one joined.

The third child of the family did not want to work for the construction company, opting to make a path for himself.

Leonard -Lenny for short- was born in 1956, the third child, but second boy in the family. He had dark brown hair, icy blue eyes so piercing that someone would feel like he was looking into their soul. He did almost everything first, he was not only an honor student, but he was also undeniably his parents' favorite son out of four children. He was hardworking and disciplined like his father, quiet and conservative like his mother.

John and Maxwell, his brothers were the opposite of it. They were the life of the party, the charmers who could work a room full of strangers and leave with a bunch of friends.

They were very much loved by their parents despite the differences in all of them.

To them, Leonard was the good brother. The one who could give dependable advice. To school, he was quite unattainable. Polite, friendly, only mingling when he had to, but he knew how to have fun as well.

When he was eighteen, he graduated from high school in 1974, and enlisted in military. It was there he was recruited to become an CIA operative thus moving to Washington DC to be close to Langley.

Despite being the second oldest brother, he did take over the proceedings of the patriarch after his father's death, but he refused to do anything with the construction company. His other brothers were there to run the business while he and his sister were there for their mother.

Before his father's death, he accepted a promotion to become CIA Agent Handler.

And he was thirty-four years old when he met Y/N Vasilisa.

"She was filled with life," Lenny said softly, fingers tracing the surface of the table in front of him as he stared down at the patterns, remembering the night he met her. "She was something else," he swallowed thickly before turning his head away, not without a hint of regret in his icy depths.

Y/N met the director of CIA when she moved to Washington DC after college, who recruited her to be his secretary in late 1989 and having the career that aligned the path of the position as CIA Operative Handler, it was inevitable.

"I remembered being there when they first met," Maud Lebereva, her friend and co-worker recalled. She had buzz cut brown hair and wide doe eyes, she also migrated to the states from Russia when she was a teenager. "He came in to have a meeting with the director about an upcoming mission in then-USSR, he had his eyes on her way before she noticed him. It would've been sweet if it was something else, but I saw something I knew wasn’t sweet." She murmured, shaking her head.

No one knew anything about them. They had started meeting at lunchtime, getting to know each other, it was harmless. Anyone who walked down the streets in the DC area would see them sitting outside in cafes, laughter could be heard from them, and they looked like they were friends, best of friends even.

They were friends for a few months until early summer of 1990 when the director of CIA had a gathering where every person must attend the function.

He had to walk her to her home that night, and that was when the dynamic changed for them. A soft kiss on her cheek, a pair of lips pressed against her skin slowly before withdrawing, and she had blushed viciously.

After that night, they weren't just friends. They were on their way to becoming lovers.

No one knew about them. They talked through phone calls that would be on the side tables, they emailed each other, and they would do anything discreetly.

He was still unobtainable, and she was still feeling guilty. Although, he had said he loved her in the summer of August at the Bahamas when he took her out for a vacation under the disguise of attending a seminar. Somehow, in her mind his declaration of love made everything seem alright.

It wasn't until late November when everything started to unravel around her. She met a very sweet man Alex Tchenkov through a friend and knowing there couldn't be any more than just an affair between Lenny and her, she went for it.

That was when she realized she had the idea of love wrong. Love wasn't about swearing an oath not to be seen, keeping the lines blurry between what was right and wrong, and it wasn't supposed to feel poisonous. It felt deadly, like a bitter taste of acid whenever she looked back to the months of her affair with Lenny.

Her friend, Anna was in Langley for Christmas, and Y/N took her out to a bar in Washington DC. Afterwards they sat on the concrete edge of Tidal Basin for a long time until the sun began to set over the capital, talking. The blonde woman gave Y/N an early Christmas gift, and she started to cry. 

 "She cried for a really long time," Anna said thoughtfully, nibbling on the side of her bottom lip. "I didn't know she was trapped in a wrecking affair at that time, but she was crying because she said she didn't deserve Alex," she remembered idly. "I was confused, but at that moment I knew there were so many things about her, many secrets that she hadn't told him, and she was really scared she would lose him if she was honest with him."

Eventually one person found out in February, it was Maud who had introduced her to Alex. She had sworn to keep it as a secret, and there were times when they would all meet for lunch.

"Despite my ill-feelings towards Leonard, he was a good person to people around him that I knew of. Figuring him out, and not being able to put a finger on why he gives me a bad vibe, that is where I can't stand him." Maud murmured; her eyes flickered briefly to the window. "I do remember one time I sympathized with him when it came to Y/N, it was a dinner at a really expensive restaurant, and he offered to pay." She laughed slightly, although it sounded uneasy.

The whole dinner affair was tense, it was to say with the understatement of the century. Y/N barely gave Leonard any time of the day, only cordially polite even it would make the worst of the worst dictators silently kneel to the ground.

At some point during the evening, Y/N excused herself to the ladies' room. When she was gone, Lenny had turned to Maud and asked why Y/N hated him.

"I was surprised when he asked me that," she paused, thinking back to that night. "He sounded desperate and sad, and it was that moment I felt bad for him.".

Maud tried to give him an excuse not knowing how to placate his emotional being, and she knew the sad pitiful look on Leonard’s face was caused by Y/N’s attempts to leave so she could be completely in a relationship with Alex. She did wonder if Leonard had any feelings for Y/N after all. If he did, it would be too bad.

"I mean I knew Y/N was irrecoverably in love with Alex, and I just felt bad for Leonard because he didn't stand a chance." Maud sighed, chuckling. The sound was not without a small amount of pity. "I just never knew how bad of a person he was to her. It's always the guys that can fool you easily, but not girls. However, she did fool me a bit." A grimace adorned on her face as she thought about it.

In the leading months, she and Alex got involved exclusively with fear gripping in the back of her mind that Lenny could ruin it all. Leaving her life into ashes if he ever exposed their affair to Alex.

"It was the one thing in her life she was most ashamed of," the brunette murmured, "but it wasn't her fault. I just wished she would understand that. However, he was a powerful man in Washington DC. He could easily ruin her life if he wanted to, and he did."

It was after midnight on July 5th, 1991, but there was a soft orange glow behind the curtains framing windows in the apartment. Silhouettes could be seen moving as six people roamed around the place restless. The fear had gripped them all after false-hope rationalizations failed to erase the tension Y/N had left them with.

Her other best friend had noticed something was wrong when Y/N didn't show up for dinner along with Maud.

"She didn't call to tell us she was running late, or anything really." Anna stated, her blue eyes glistening as she sniffed slightly. "I tried calling her several times, but it went straight to the voicemail." Her eyes flickered to the window as her lips turned down slightly. "I waited because she always called me back no matter what."

While they had waited for her, for the police, for some word, anything; they forced themselves to believe that she was okay, she had to be, the other option was something they didn't want to think about. 

Ever.

"I remembered going through her room, finding her journal, and I thought as I stared at the slim book 'God help me that I will break her private cocoon she'd set up for her mind, but if it was to help us find her then so be it'." Anna murmured; her eyes closed briefly before opening. "I remembered there was some sort of a letter stuffed in the last page she'd written."

You asked me a long time ago after we met, 'what do you want?' in a teasing manner with a soft twinkle in your pretty eyes. What I want...is for you to be happy. I love you.

"It wasn't signed, but it didn't really have to be it was obvious, and that was when I knew Y/N had been harboring a secret for a long time." She shrugged before sighing, looking away. Her blonde hair swayed slightly. "She was definitely not perfect, but she was the best of us. Despite the flaws we harbored in ourselves, she saw the best in them, and I can see why she would look past his overbearing flaws in the beginning to see the best in him even when she shouldn't. I can't really fault her for that, she tried, and she did until it wasn't enough for her." She then hesitated, "and whatever she wrote in her last entry...I knew he’d read it because I know Y/N, she would've just thrown away the letter after reading it, not put it in her private cocoon where it would ruin her peace. The letter he put in was more of some correspondence to her journal right before everything..." she then paused; her bottom lip trembled as a gasp escaped from her mouth resonating in her lungs as a light sheen glazed over her eyes.

June 29th, 1991

Dear Diary,

There were times I questioned myself, in the beginning I could see why I wanted to be with Lenny despite all the wrong things that I have seen.

Now more than a year has passed, and I'm suffocating. The leash I didn't notice wrapped around my neck on the day we met had been becoming shorter and shorter, chipping away its inches as his control became iron-clad over time.

I had once asked him when I met him, he was the guy who had it all, and he did, but to assuage my curiosity, I had asked him "what do you want?"

And it was that particular conversation that changed everything for me.

We were doomed, entirely and truly.

I can't say it wasn't love at first, for me it was, but it wasn't for him. I had only noticed after I fell out of it was when I realized we were doomed. He was an agent with a dangerous future, and I was at a different place in life.

Being with Alex had made me see things differently, it made me realize that Lenny Miller is not the man I or everyone else thought he was. He is a narcissist, a liar who manipulated everything around him including me. He was like a rose, sweet at first until I touched the thorns and that was when he became cruel. I fell in love with the idea of him and accepted the false flaws until it got to the point where it all became too much for me to bear.

He knew I wanted the chains off my heart especially after meeting Alex. Especially when I want to be free, I need to be free, but he won't let me go. I know he will never let me go, and I'm afraid of whatever that means.

It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't love despite him saying it was.

I have to get away from him before the suffocation drives me to the grave.

Y/N.V.

"I did love her. I loved her more than anything in this world, even when she didn’t love me anymore, but I suppose no one would understand." Lenny had emphasized slightly, almost bitterly. His blue eyes were steely glinted when the light from the sun hit their depths, before the mask of indifference fell into place. "The last time I saw her was when she didn't want me to be in her life anymore." He had murmured before looking out to somewhere in the room. He had said when the sun began to set, everything fell apart around them, "and that was that." He then shrugged as if it explained it all.

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Tuesday, July 21, 1992

A MISSING AMERICAN WOMAN'S BODY FOUND IN LOIRE RIVER IN FRANCE

(Photo taken at the graduation in 1984)

The body of a 26-year-old woman Y/N Vasilisa who was reported missing a year ago on the 5th of July had been found in the Loire River under the boat dock in Nantes with a bullet wound in her head.

Vasilisa’s death, according to Detective Chief Marcel Clairmont of the Nantes Prosecutor's Office, was caused by bruising around the neck which resembled strangulation before the victim was killed with a bullet wound in the forehead. The cause of death was accurate after the autopsy was completed by the Washington DC Coroner Vincent Delacour. The prime suspect for her disappearance prior to her death, former CIA agent Leonard Miller’s DNA was not found anywhere on her body, and the bullet did not match his gun serial numbers thus eliminating him from the list of suspects...[read page five for more information].

[t0mashek]

I love your fem mckirk designs, have you got any headcanons for them that youd want to share? <3

OH BABY YOU BET I DO. These are gonna be my headcanons for my TOS genderbent mckirk specifically, but I will be posting my aos genderbend designs at some point too >:)

-Jim is a Jane to me, a buddy of mine calls fem Bones Lenora and I think that's probably what will stick for me too. I like her name being able to shorten to "Len" like Leonard can. I feel like when Jane isn't calling her "Bones" she's calling her Len or Lenny.

-I do not know why, but in my brain, my fem mckirk girlies have a slight height difference, nothing major, but fem Bones is a couple inches shorter than Kirk in my world. I'd probably pin them as 5'10" and 5'8 (Spock is also still 6'0" and she wears heels to some formal events, sorry I don't make the rules.)

-Jane makes Bones tie her hair up for her when she wants to wear a ponytail. Love the idea of Bones irritatedly tying Jane's hair up in the transporter room before they beam down while Jane gives orders to the crew. Like not even paying attention to Bones doing her hair for her cause it's such a normal occurrence at this point.

-Jane hates the process of doing her own makeup but likes putting Bones' eyeshadow on for her.

-Jane wears little pearl stud earrings!!!

-Bone's prefers masculine clothing, she wears the pants/shirt uniform and typically leans towards suits for formal occasions

-That being said- she sometimes asks Jane to get her ready for a formal event knowing that she will use the opportunity to put Bones in a dress, and Bones likes the way Jane and Spock look at her the rare times she dresses traditionally feminine.

These are the ones that I actively think about most!! I think about/draw a LOT of formal wear mcspirk, genderbent or otherwise. I just like to draw them in pretty clothes,,, my little barbie dolls,,,,,

[entheognosis]

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen Now, I’ve heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord But you don’t really care for music, do you? It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing hallelujah Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the hallelujah Baby, I've been here before I know this room, I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you And I've seen your flag on the marble arch Love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah You say I took the name in vain I don’t even know the name But if I did, well really, what’s it to you? There’s a blaze of light in every word It doesn’t matter which you heard The holy or the broken hallelujah I did my best, it wasn’t much I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you And even though it all went wrong I’ll stand before the lord of song With nothing on my tongue but hallelujah.

Leonard Cohen

[theramseyloft]

Do roller pigeons bred to larger breeds help to shrink a line? And how is the personality of a roller pigeon as a breeder bird for a companion project

Birmingham rollers are pretty small, so yeah, breeding one to a larger bird will make offspring smaller than the larger parent, but larger than the roller parent.

For reference:

Ferdi (Old Dutch Capuchine)

Mated to

Money Penny (Show Type Racing Homer)

and threw

Cookie, who has her Dad's over all structure, thickened by her Mom, with a forehead more in between them and a beak more like her dad's.

She mated to

Wilson (Racing Homer)

and they threw

Tandy, who could easily be mistaken for a purebred homer.

See, Racing homers are the most natural pigeon shape, only altered from the wild rock dove by the size of its head and slope of its forehead.

Tandy took

Emillio (Portuguese Tumbler) as her first mate. (She's has a few!)

Portuguese Tumblers are the second smallest breed of pigeon in the world.

The title of world's smallest pigeon is traded between Portuguese Tumblers and Valencian Figurita practically every other year, but figs are typically more slight, so I consider Ports the second smallest.

Generally, the babies of a pair with a wide size difference will favor the mother, but in this clutch, we see the whole range.

Thistle (First hatch, cock) Is smaller than Tandy, but takes more after her in size.

Elliot (Second hatch, hen) was much closer to Emillio in size, as well as overall structure.

Thistle mated to

And absolute bitch of a Racing homer named MJ.

(She was extremely affectionate with her previous owner, and never forgave me for going into the loft.)

It took them four tries to throw

Nettle.

Riddle came out of Clutch 5

And Mipha from clutch 6.

These all being mostly homer, they didn't vary much from Tandy's build.

Nettle was the one I kept.

Elliot took

Leonard (Birmingham Roller) as a mate.

Birmingham Rollers come in a wide range of sizes, depending on their blood line, but good "deep rolling" lines tend to be very small, and Leonard is a tiny bird.

Jojo (cock), being half Birminghan Roller and 1/4 Portuguese Tumbler, was also a teeny tiny bird.

Patch (Cock, Whom I kept)

And Rogue (hen) were clutch 2.

Bluebird (hen) was clutch 3

Athena (Hen, kept)

And Calypso (hen) were clutch 4.

Sweet, snuggly Bijoux (hen) was clutch 5.

and Shinobi (hen) was clutch 6.

They were also very uniform in structure and color, all shaped mostly like their Birmingham Roller sire.

Tandy's second mate was

Cherub (Seraphim dad, Classic Old Frill mom, still technically full Seraphim, since that breed was developed from the COF)

They threw

Scan

And Nimbus (Kept).

In their first clutch. Both cocks.

Berry (hen) was clutch 3.

Moth (cock) was clutch 4.

All four were a pretty consistently even blend in size and shape between the Seraphim and Homer build.

Elliot also mated to

Satin (Danzig x Racing Homer) (Cotta and Taffeta's Dad)

and threw

Artemis, who, interestingly, ended up with build and color very similar to Elliot's children out of Leonard.

Slightly more sloped forehead than her half siblings.

WAY more outgoing temperament.

Patch mated to

Spangle, a tiny Birmingham Roller hen.

And threw me Banner.

There are more birds in this family, but Tumblr will only let me fit 30 photos in one post, and this should be a pretty detailed representation of how size and structure traits are passed on.

[fort-cozy-mcblanket]

Theory:

Penny was a surrogate for Sheldon and Amy's daughter.

Evidence:

Sheldon suggested using Penny as a surrogate for their child in season 4 (The Robotic Manipulation), back when his relationship with Amy was just starting out. The writers seem to like making callbacks to lines from the start of relationships, whether they still make sense or not (see: "Our babies will be smart and beautiful").

The suggestion is made again in season 11 (The Neonatal Nomenclature) when Sheldon tells Amy he does not expect her to bear all their children, they can find a uterus to rent. Both look to Penny at this, showing that Amy is open to the idea.

In the Young Sheldon finale (Memoir) Amy mentions that when she was giving birth, Sheldon zoomed into a seminar. She does not give any specifying information (e.g. "When I was giving birth to your son" or "The last time I was giving birth") which suggests that she may have only given birth one time. Yet we know they have 2 kids. It is possible that their kids could be twins, but with Sheldon being a twin himself it seems like that detail would have been mentioned somewhere if it were true.

Other Considerations:

Amy would have been 40 at the youngest when giving birth to their first child. Pregnancy past age 40 can be difficult to achieve and carries more risks. It would make sense that Amy may not want or be able to go through it a second time. While Amy is the eldest member of the group, Penny is the youngest.

It makes kind of a fun parallel to that whole sperm donation storyline Leonard went through in season 12.

Sheldon and Amy can leverage the fact that they named their firstborn son Leonard to persuade Leonard to agree to the arrangement.

It makes that line in the Young Sheldon finale about how their daughter wants to take acting lessons a lot funnier.

Really I don't think we can overstate just how many hilarious situations this would create, the possibilities are endless.

Conclusion:

I'll leave this up to you.

[rosetintedchainsaw]

Name: Courtney Hazel Dellian

Username: courtneydarkangel6 (the L is an i on Roblox, I made an acc with an L but I forgot the pswrd because my brain turned to mush)

Nicknames/Aliases: Court, Witch-hazel, Rosalyn

Age: 21

Birthday: October 31st, 1995

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual (“As long as they know how to hop a fence, I’ll keep them around.”)

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Addictions: (“Whenever something stops working, I try something else…”)

Religion: Atheist (“He never saved me when I needed him.”)

Lives in: Seems to never stay in one place for too long. (“Nowhere’s safe enough…”)

Occupation: (“Whatever I can find.”)

Weapons: Keeps a taser, gun, and various axes hidden in her van. (“I have to.”)

Alignment: True Neutral

Text Color: Orange

Main Hobbies: Painting, Playing her guitar, Joyriding, Taking care of her cat Daze, Blasting shitty divorced-dad rock on her MP3, Stargazing near the ocean (“Only on good days.”)

Favorite Food: Jimmy John’s (“When I can afford it.”)

Favorite Flower: (“...”)

Scent: Avril Lavigne's Black Star perfume (“I’ve made it last.”)

Handedness: Ambidextrous (“As long as they both work.”)

Blood Color: Red (How could I forget?)

Themes:

Playlist:

Fun Fact: “I’ve been banned from every single bar in Wisconsin all in one night... And no, I don't remember why.”

Special Interests: Creepypasta, Medieval Torture, Biblical and Pagan Imagery, Cryptids, etc. (“I’d list more, but these were all from so long ago… I haven't had time to get into anything new.”)

Stims: Pacing, Fidgeting with whatever object she can get her hands on.

Stimboard: WIP

Moodboard: WIP

Fashion Board: WIP

Comfort Objects: Her guitar, The few CD’s she has left, her MP3 player, her weighted blanket, a giant caterpillar stuffie she won at a carnival ages ago, and her daisy chain bracelet. (I can't stand to look at it, but it's always there on my wrist. It feels like I’m punishing myself forever.)

Family: Sandra Dellian (“Mom, but not really.”), Leonard Copeland (“Pig bastard who left us to rot.”), Lindsay Dellian (“...I miss you.”)

Friends: Daisy Daisy Bell (...I'm sorry I failed you.), Alex Davis (“I don't know why you still try.”), José (“I learned a few basic words for him. He was nice.”)

Romance: (“I’d rather not talk about any of them.”)

Enemies: (sighhhhhhhhhhh “Well I have one constantly on my trail. All the time. No matter where I go. So that's something.”)

Pets: (“I had two cats, but my baby Alexander’s gone now. Now all I have is Daze. I don't say her name out loud often. I just snap my fingers and she comes up to me.”)

Brief Personality: Courtney may seem like a jaded, exhausted, and terminally troubled person. And that assumption would be correct. Nowadays, she barely speaks unless it's to Daze or one of her few old friends online. She goes through life in a dreadfully slow and dazed stumble, and sometimes doesn't seem all the way there. When she isn't in a depressive and almost bitterly-mournful state, she’s usually caught up in some sort of trouble, usually her previous ex, who has been stalking her and sending her threats for quite some time. She tends to move around often, mostly to escape him, but he somehow always manages to track her down. There’s also the underlying feeling she may be subconsciously searching for something.

Backstory: Courtney and Lindsay Dellian were both born on October 31st 1995, their parents being Sandra Dellian and Leonard Copeland. Early on the family had been stricken with turbulence. Sandra had been smoking and using drugs during her pregnancy, which therefore caused complications that endangered both her and her unborn children’s health greatly. Her husband, Leonard, had also been battling a long line of addiction for most of his life, but had been twelve months sober before the twin’s birth. The two had been in deep financial debt, and were both dreading having to take care of their children once they were brought home. They knew they couldn't.

It soon became clear with the twins that Courtney was the brash and defiant problem child, while Lindsay had been born mute. She never spoke or played with any other children, while Courtney lashed out at the other kids, and regularly mouthed off at her teachers and parents. Despite their differences, Courtney was wildly protective of Lindsay, and would keep her out of any trouble she herself caused.

Both children were severely neglected by their parents, mainly left to fend for themselves as they grew up. Eventually, Courtney’s parents had started taking her to various child psychologists, after her behavioral issues had become “too much” for them to handle. When Courtney had turned eleven years old in 2006, Sandra and Leonard filed for divorce, and Leonard took Lindsay with him. Leonard simply couldn't deal with Courtney’s attitude, and had started regularly snapping at both his wife and children. His addiction had finally returned as well, causing him to spiral. Courtney suffered a horrible nervous breakdown after being separated from her twin sister, and soon her mother admitted her into the Morning Star Youth Correctional Facility.

There, she became acquainted with a strange and quiet girl named Jessica Pierce. Their friendship did not last long, however. And soon Courtney became paranoid, and convinced that Jessica was secretly a demonic entity posing as a human child. She tried to express her concern to various staff members, but was soon put under sedation, and was forced to take various psychological tests for her sudden "delusion". After a string of mysterious deaths and incidents at the correctional facility, Jessica eventually ran away, never to be seen again.

After being released for “good behavior”, Courtney spent the rest of her adolescence causing more problems, and overall growing more and more reckless and defiant. Around that time, her mother had started dating a new boyfriend, who quickly became abusive to both Courtney and her mother. After attempting to run away from home multiple times, Courtney soon became involved with various friend groups as she went through middle school and eventually transitioned into high school. For her, sneaking out with them late at night to the skatepark was her only escape. It was around that time when one of her friends introduced her to online websites, one of them being Roblox.

Courtney mainly saw the sites as fun and stupid distractions, but soon her attitude changed when she met a user named Daisy Bell. They almost reminded her of Lindsay in a way. Her and Daisy soon grew close, and Courtney developed an almost “older-sister” attitude towards Daisy, fending off anyone that messed with her. She started growing more and more addicted to the Internet, using it as a form of escapism as her home life fell apart rapidly. Eventually, Sandra and her boyfriend got into a violent altercation, and Courtney herself had to physically restrain her mother’s boyfriend from attacking them. Courtney soon mentally spiraled, and her drug addiction, which had already been bad before, soon became out of control, to the point of nearly overdosing in her room numerous times.

Daisy Bell eventually stopped coming online, and Courtney grew desperate, putting up posters around town and making posts on forums asking anyone if they knew anything about her online friend, but no information came about. Courtney soon suffered a complete mental breakdown, and started ripping out her own hair before her mother’s boyfriend called the police, claiming she had physically attacked him. Courtney spent a few months in a juvenile center, before being released. A few years had passed, and Courtney eventually graduated high school.

Courtney kept in touch with a few of Daisy’s old friends, but eventually disappeared off the web for a while after her mother’s boyfriend threatened to shoot her and her mother, which caused Courtney to finally snap and run away from home. She began couch surfing with a few of her skating friends, before moving in with Toby Bayers, a friend of hers who she soon began dating. She and Toby began experimenting with drugs, before she eventually became pregnant with his child. She unwillingly kept the child, but soon left Toby after he became physically violent towards her. She arranged one of her closest friends from school to look after the child, and help her possibly file a restraining order against Toby. She continued to couch surf with many of her friends, before eventually stealing all of her mother’s money and fleeing to Italy under the pseudo-name Rosalyn to remain safe after Toby relentlessly stalked her after their breakup.

Around 2015, Courtney eventually sent a message to Daisy’s inactive account. Even after five years, Daisy remained a deep and dark subject in her mind, that tirelessly haunted her every waking moment. If only she had kept in touch. If only she had done something. She knew Camilla was responsible. Either partly or fully. The thought that something horrible happened to Daisy ate away at her, and continued to chip away at her psyche. Courtney soon moved out of Italy after one of Toby’s friends who lived over there had located her. She moved back to America, and has spent pretty much then up until now moving from motel to motel, and sometimes even opts to sleep inside of her stolen van, which has pretty much become her safe haven. She had been taking care of two cats she had adopted in Italy, one of which she named Daze, after her old friend, and Alexander, after the stuffed dog toy her sister Lindsay used to always carry around with her.

Courtney spends most of her time nowadays either doing various odd-jobs to keep herself from starving, or keeping herself on the move from Toby, who still attempts to contact her to this day. Despite her life being one long string of misfortune after misfortune, she feels she cannot give up, no matter how much the option tugs at her each day. She still regularly keeps in contact with Alex Davis, and Toby can't chase after her forever. One day, everything will get better.

It couldn't get any worse, right?

[jadeseadragon]

Ziŋtkála Núni, a.k.a. "Lost Bird"

(Indigenous Lakota, born 1890 at Pine Ridge Reservation, Wounded Knee, SD, died 1920, Hanford, CA)

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"In late 1890, Leonard Colby, as commander of the Nebraska National Guard, fought at Wounded Knee in South Dakota in a massacre that killed an estimated 170 to 300 Lakota men, women and children.

Four days later, a rescue party found a Lakota baby, partially frozen but still alive, strapped to her [bullet-riddled] dead mother’s back under a covering of snow.

Without his wife’s knowledge or consent, Colby brought the baby back to Nebraska. The child became known as Ziŋtkála Núni, or Lost Bird.

The story is recounted in the 1995 book “Lost Bird of Wounded Knee” by Renee Sansom Flood and in a 1999 documentary with the same title by South Dakota Public Broadcasting.

The book alleges that Leonard Colby, a prominent attorney, sexually abused his adopted daughter and exploited her as a "mascot" for his law firm." [source]

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Lost Bird was "adopted" by the Colbys over the objections of her surviving Lakota family.

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[She] "was given four different names, baptized, stolen from tribal members, retrieved, and stolen again until she was officially adopted by Brigadier General Leonard Colby, Commander of the Nebraska Guard, who had simply taken her off the reservation to his home in Beatrice, Nebraska. ... [she] was only 29 when she fell victim to the Spanish Flu, which in 1919 killed over 500,000 Americans. She was buried where she lived, in Hanford, California." [source]

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"A century after the infant was discovered alive, lying beneath her mother’s body on the killing fields of Wounded Knee, her remains have been brought home. In a traditional ceremony, Lost Bird was interred [in 1991] near the mass grave where 200 slain Native Americans, including her mother, were unceremoniously buried Jan. 3, 1891." [source]

I won't go into the full story of Lost Bird's life. It is far too sad. You can find out more about her on the links included.

Memorial Tattoo link

The Tragedy of ‘Lost Bird’

[urfavluvergirl]

Meet Ophelia Mae Jones 🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

AU masterlist — find other stuff under #🪼opheliajones

About Ophelia *✧･ﾟ

Name(s): Ophie, Phia, Lia, Ophelia

Birthday: January 1st, 2005 — Pisces moon, Capricorn sun, Sagittarius rising

Places of Residence: Amherst, MA (first 8 years of her life), Manchester-by-the-sea, MA (up until college), Chestnut Hill, MA (current)

Personality: empathetic, shy, selfless, driven, emotional (while also being practical at the same time?), loving, perfectionist, hard working, timid

Mannerisms: picks at her lips, daydreaming, holding onto peoples arms, spinning her rings or playing with her earrings

Major and Aspirations: Communications at BC, in lots of school newspapers and newsletters

Relations *✧･ﾟ

Family

Pamela Jones - mother (pediatric surgeon)

Roman Jones - father (absent)

Friends

Nathan Hart, Luna Moore, The BC boys and their friends

Love interest: Ryan Leonard

Other fun facts *✧･ﾟ

- Ophelia has an extremely sensitive nose, she often gets extremely bad migraines from smelling strong cologne or perfumes

- Ophelia cries whenever she sees cute animals

- She’s a silver girly through and through, she has multiple small, dainty rings that she plays around with

- Although her father left them, she’s not mad and blames herself for it

- Ophelia is a ocean girl — she could never imagine or live in a landlocked area

- She has a silver locket that has a picture of her family and a picture of her and Ryan on the inside when they were little

- Her and Ryan mother’s met in the hospital, she was NICU baby and he had just been born

- Ophelia wants to be a journalist when she grows up, she’s always had a passion for writing

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 episode 11 (Friday's Child) this post is my treat for finishing two of my eight final assignments.

Lets get into it:

- There’s a poem or something about this, lemme google it.. . oh okay it says "friday's child is loving and giving" that's a good sign :D

- That redshirt that beamed down with them is gonna die so fast

- And he's dead

- Kirk getting mad at McCoy after losing his crewman, and Spock standing besides McCoy, like the body language and positioning is so clear, he's supporting McCoy

- "Bones, I shouldn't have chewed you out, I'm sorry." Damn right you're sorry Kirk

- After speaking to the leaders Bones turns to Kirk and just goes "I just called him a liar." he's so proud of himself lol. diplomacy.

- Kirk protecting his boyfriends when a fight breaks out

- Kirk getting into a fight with the new Teer and McCoy and Spock immediately joining in

- Scotty on da bridge making the hard but most logical calls

- I don't like the boyfriends plotting things.

Kirk: That's a very good idea, Bones.

Spock: Yes, Captain. An excellent idea.

- It's probably a faux distress signal, designed to pull them away

- Sulu is so pretty (Sulu appreciation. Appreciate him or leave)

- Kirk just loves writing in his diary and kicking his feet in the air- I mean he often records his captains log...

- McCoy is constantly just trying to do his job.. but she was so right to slap him

- McCoy canonically has soft hands

- Spock walks in on her holding McCoy's hand and has a face like "damn, I wanna hold his hand”

- Jim and Spock creating an explosion together :))) they crave destruction

- Bad ADR between Kirk and McCoy

- "I'm a doctor, not an escalator." do escalators still exist in the future?

- Hey Spock, why is the first officer's station designed so you always have to bend over to use it?

- SULU SAID "A trap" WHAT IN THE SCI FI

- Bones trying to get her to love a child and perhaps accidentally becoming a father

- "Fortunately, this bark has suitable tensile cohesion." "You mean it makes a good bowstring." "I believe that is what I just said." They're flirting

- HE LEFT THE BABY ON THE GROUND????

- Spock does not want to hold a child lol

- Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov interaction is amazing "There's an old earth saying, Mr. Sulu. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." "I know this saying, it was invented in Russia." Then Chekov gives a little laugh to himself and Sulu Smiles while Scotty just sighs

- Why'd she just give McCoy a concussion

- Jim and Spock on the rock

- Bones' small curl in his hair is so

- The Klingon got shot in the fucking leg

- "Revenge, Captain?" "Why not." He says it so casually, like someone asked him if he wanted to go get drinks

- Yay Scotty's here!

- Okay there's some really bad ADR in this episode but "Oochy-whoochy-kootchy-coo" takes the whole damn cake

- They get Spock to say it as well

- Okay flirting time

Spock: The child was named Leonard James Akaar?

McCoy: Has kind of a ring to it, don't you think, James?

Kirk: Yes, I think it's a name destined to go down in galactic history, Leonard. What do you think, Spock?

Spock: I think you're going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month... SIR.

They still don't know Spock's first name and I think that Fontana wants to get to the bottom of that.

Masterpost

Episode written by D. C. Fontana