#she has brain damage now btw

[eve-was-framed]

leftists when a male rapes or murders a woman or child: okay but he’s mentally ill and just needs help 🥺 rehabilitation is possible 💕

leftists when anyone slightly disagrees with them on literally anything:

[akkivee]

i’m going to make a vtuber whose only gimmick is being into hypmic and buys all these rng based products in hopes she gets bad ass temple stuff and will be treating this like unboxing pkmn cards LOL /J

[yannaryartside]

Carmy doesn’t wanna be with Claire despite his trauma, but because of it

So, I was working in a meta about the roles of Chef David, Claire and Sydney in Carmy’s character arc. But I think there is something that can be a point of its own, let’s see if I can explain myself correctly.

I have read opinions about how once Carmy work things out with Donna (that recent la times interview had Calo mentioning how they mirrored Claire shots after Donna’s shot) and many people came to that conclusion of how Carmy wanting to be with Claire is sabotaged by his trauma.

And that is a valid take and it could be what it is, but I don’t think it makes sense. No if you let abuse be a realistic player in the equation. Let me explain.

Abuse breaks your perception of yourself and the world, and sometimes you are gonna choose a partner based on that perception. Falling in love /having crushes is something that comes from our subconscious and can be deeply conditioned.

Carmy had a mother that ignored/neglected/abused him while constantly comparing him to his brother. Then he got a head chef that humiliated him, got him so scared that was physically sick and mentally damaged. All of this is self hatred fuel. He once thought he was abused because he wasn’t good enough. (This is what you wanted, to be the best) to the point he subconsciously thinks is okay to continue the cycle of abuse as long as he gets the star. (Btw he didn’t wanted it for Syd as a gift, he wanted it to prove her and his former chef that he could succeed on his own terms, the star was his revenge).

Let’s talk Claire. He had this crush in this girl that was nice to everyone, even him with how “defective” he felt. Then miraculously this girl said that even from then she had a crush on him. She is easy and doesn’t have a problem with any of his very serious mental health issues and immaturity. He feels good enough with Claire not because he is bettering himself from an honest place (like with Sydney at times) but because Claire doesn’t ask for even basic human accountability. This is enabling to someone with a healthy mindset. But for Carmy, it is heaven, and in s3 he thinks he lost that.

I think this is the reason we don’t know shit about Claire (her hobbies, the story of her family, dreams or aspirations) because the only thing that matters to the story (Carmy’s story) is the comfort and amusement she provides. Addicts choose different drugs based on what they want (feel happy, forget, adrenaline) and Claire is the perfect drug to each one of Carmy’s core wounds.

She represents the social approval he didn’t have growing up (Michael and his family wanted them together, she is from the cool group of kids he wanted to hang out with, and Claire even acted as vehicle to Carmy feeling part of that hight school experience in the frat party)

Carmy doesn’t have to guess her humor because she puts an effort (I think) on being amenable all the time. She has all easy similes while Donna has faces of disgust and anger)

She has this perpetual need to be around and take care of broken people (her drunk friends, her patients, the stupid Faks) while never criticizing them or asking them to change (it is cool that Michael set things on fire, she hooks the Faks with her friends, she tells carmy to never apologize)

There is an extra dark side to all of this, because this relationship is not only very superficial but very relying on both of them playing the role of the “broken boyfriend” and the “saint girlfriend” but that is a topic for its own meta.

Now, some examples based on personal experience to bring more context to this point. Trigger warnings:descriptions of physical and philosophical abuse.

My mother was engaged once with a man that was physically abusive, then she left him and married my dad, a man that respected her for her brain and never hurt her with his hands, but was manipulative and psychologically abusive. For years she accepted this “lesser” (in her words) type of abuse and described their relationship as “the best she ever had” because that is the broken perspection she has still. If you are hungry, you learn to eat garbage.

When you hate yourself, you may accept anything that tells you nothing is wrong with you, or tells you how “fix” you. That’s how cults get you, that’s how others abusers get you, surgeries, scams, you are a pigeon that will collaborate in being taken advantage of and you will be thankful for it. This is not victim blaming, abusers know the characteristics of a person that is not gonna fight back, the one that keeps believing they deserve the abuse. That’s why is so difficult to break of this cycles. The show decided to use the toxicity of the industry to show how an abusive person (Carmen) is gonna jump from abuse to abuse of he still believes he deserve it. All 3 berzatto siblings have self hate integrated to different extremes. Mickey hated himself till the point of drug addiction and suicide. Nat does it so she believes is her responsibility that everyone is all right even if it cost her greatly.

I want to bring this last point home:

Our traumas protect us sometimes, if ever questioning the believes that formed after them.

If Carmy ever confronts Donna, he will realize he was never defective, that bettering himself is something he is worth for, and then could choose a partner, based on a true understanding of himself and being able to find real compatibility, not just momentary relive for his pain and a distortion of acceptance. He doesn’t need to keep believing he is broken.

Anyhow, thank you for reading.

[lieutenantabrudas]

[ID: a drawing of a salarian from mass effect scowling at something off to her left side on a light turquoise background. her skin is bright yellow on her head and back, and bright blue on her limbs and front, with black spots all over. her right horn is tall and thin, the left has been broken off at the base. one eye is cybernetic with three glowing red optical lenses. her right half is covered in burn scars, her face has three diagonal claw scars, her right foot is skeletal and missing webbing with scraps of skin where the webs used to be, and both legs are wrapped in support braces to help her walk. she is wearing a sleeveless green hoodie with a mesh window over her heart, black shorts, and three animal teeth on a leather cord around her neck that have been stained with green blood. one hand is holding a smoking blunt. end ID]

today on disabled exdiff major characters im drawing for disability pride month, the second-most complex design i have for a main character, the bad reverend serial killer aka gurji taeja! taeja first appears in chapter 41 of broken mirror and sticks around for 3 chapters to help shepard and company, then reappears in blood in the water as a deuteragonist dragging shepard into an adventure against their will to go save terra nova. shepard doesn't like her but too bad, i the author do, and so do my readers. she's off doing her own work at the moment in in the land of giants, but she'll be back soon!

the blunt isn't weed btw it's a hallucinogenic drug called naenoda used by salarian priests to commune with the gods. taeja was trained as a priest of the death gods and still follows the god of just deaths and revenge, even though she's otherwise cut all ties with organized religion due to backstory reasons, and smokes a bit of naenoda from time to time for fun and also pain relief. come read my fic i'm very normal about this oc.

her legs were mangled by a predator attack when she was young, and due to her shitheel brother who lured her into it in the first place (it's cool those teeth around her neck are from the predator that tried to eat her and that's her brother's blood on them, don't worry about it :) ) she was left for dead and had to drag herself back to civilization, so they uh. didn't heal right, exactly, and struggle to support her weight. nowadays she alternates between standard braces, special braces that were built into her armor's endosuit, and sometimes a walking stick for short distances if she's already taken them off for the day but needs something from the kitchen.

things got dialed up to 11 after she fled to omega, joined eclipse, had a falling out with eclipse, and was beaten most of the way to death (intentional) and nearly burned alive (accidental) - note her toes on the one side, there's scraps of what used to be webbing attached to her toes, but the fire effectively seared them away and now that foot sinks lower and spreads further than the other trying to support her weight. her eye was completely unsalvageable, and the surgeons offered her a clone replacement, but she opted for the cybernetic robot eye partially because it's cool and partially because she got recruited for the spectres in the process and wanted a cyborg eye for combat advantages. not pictured are all the additional cybernetics under her skin to rebuild her arm and leg and keep her organs working, and the extra stuff wired into her brain to control everything (especially the eye) and, ah. fix some brain damage. she's fine it's fine. the right half of her face is also paralyzed, and her vocal chords were burned, so facial expressions and speaking are difficult, but it's fine, that's what a few extra apps on her omni-tool and a vocoder implanted in her throat are for. she's fine!!

also she successfully completed spectre training and promptly went back to omega, killed all the eclipse mercs who tried to kill her, and also killed her shithead emotionally abusive father and sealed his bones in her armor so he can never enter the reincarnation cycle and will be trapped in limbo forever, it's fine, she's doing fine, she's definitely stable and does not need therapy about anything she's fine she has hallucinogens and a VI in her brain and batarian friends who are better family than her own she's FINE

[myfairkatiecat]

Tell me about a KOTLC character! (Only if you want <3)

Oooooh now I get to do it hehehe

(Btw thanks for your awesome description of Captain Lovelace from w359!!!)

Hmm similarly to how i hear you talk about lambert all the time (which is a delight) you’ve seen plenty of my posts about keefe. So I’m gonna choose another character… who to choose, who to choose…

I’m going with Marella Redek!

Marella’s mother, Caprise Redek, has brain damage from a fall early in Marella’s life, and she’s not always clear-headed and often has trouble with her emotions. Because of this, Marella had an unpredictable home life, and I theorize that this is how she became such a gossip. She got involved in everything going on, participating in every hushed rumor she could, so she would a) know if people would talk about her family and b) spread rumors about literally anything else.

I also think her overemphasis on stereotypes earlier on in the books are her way of assuring herself she’s normal like everyone else (for example, talking to marella is how Sophie learns that elves think twins/triplets are weird and don’t understand the concept of grief) but then the said the fateful statement that jinxed herself: that there had only been five pyrokinetics ever, and therefore, none of them would be.

She manifests the one forbidden ability: pyrokinesis.

Her only option for training is to go to an ice prison where Fintan is held captive (the ancient elf who invented everblaze and was a leader of the Neverseen) and learn pyrokinesis from him. Fintan cares truly about passing on his knowledge and talent to her, though they do not trust him due to his previous actions and connections (rightfully so).

Marella owns her pyrokinesis, though. She has fire powers and she no longer cares if that makes her different. She’s decided to stand out, not by having no real close friends like before the books begin, but by being one with fire in a way the Black Swan truly does need.

I hope you liked my little Marella Redek ramble!! Have a great day Sophie :)

[just-a-random-dead-thing]

~Lost and found~ (Larissa Weems x student!reader)

The reader is 19 in this fic!!! The show makes it clear they have students well above the age of consent.

Sorry for the longer than expected wait! Mocks are a bitch and a half! The reader is a snarky little shit in this chapter btw- The chapters will be getting slightly longer as I get more comfortable with the story but please let me know if you would prefer shorter chapters.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 (1.2k words)

Thank you for all your kind words about the last chapter <3 I hope you continue to enjoy my shitty angst!!!

Lastly thank you once again to @thefangedman for the editing to make the story make any semblance of sense. You should check out their Tiffany Valentine fic! It's amazing!!!

Static takes over my senses. I slowly come round from my near death experience at the hands of my own Headmistress - ‘my duty is to protect all the students within these walls’ my ass. The glaring lights start to bother my shut eyes, begging me to open them and rejoin the living world. I'll give it 5 more minutes. I haven't had a nap like this in years.

Just as I'm getting comfortable, I hear the tapping of heels on a wooden floor, pacing back and forth. From what I can piece together, Weems accidentally impeded my ability to breathe; I passed out and she has dragged me to her office because she's too embarrassed to tell the nursing staff what happened. Hmm... I should have some fun with her. Fake amnesia seems like it'll do the trick. I mentally smirk, thinking over the horrified reaction I'll get to see on her face.

I flutter open my eyes to play into the act of just having awoken. I stare at the ceiling, hearing her rush towards me. "Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, how are you feeling? It appears you... umm, passed out in the corridor."

I turn to face her, sitting up on the leather sofa I'm lying on. I rub my forehead, slightly obscuring my eye as a confused expression crosses my features.

"...I'm sorry but who is Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, and who are you?" Her face, like I thought, is priceless - she even backs away slightly.

Her voice quivers as she talks, an unfamiliar tone in the usually confident woman.

"S-shit...no no no. This can't be happening, I d-didn't. God, what am I going to do-" with this, she grips my face in her hand, the other removing my own from my forehead, grasping it gently as our eyes meeting in perfect alignment. The only difference is her eyes are glazed over with tears that will fall any second, "I am so sorry, Y/N..."

God, this was meant to be fun, but it's just depressing.

I swear, she has an ability to suck all the joy out of anything I do. I roll my eyes at her, but in reality a small part of me feels regret. Regret over my actions, regret over leaving her in this state, but alas, I repress this thought and lean into the anger. I rip my hand out of hers and shove her away from me.

"You're so annoying! I can't even prank you after you nearly murder me without you sucking the joy out of it. Also- thanks for being too scared to take me to see the nursing staff, or even an actual fucking doctor incase God forbid you got into trouble. I could have gotten actual brain damage-"

I am interrupted mid-rant when she embraces me, her face buried in my neck, now fully sobbing. Fuck. Why do I always have to be such a blunt asshole? I need Noah to translate my words into nice ‘feeling protecting’ ones, he's good at all the dumb emotional stuff. Normally I am at least okay at faking, and I can get by, but everything just feels so foggy. No matter how hard I try, I can't concentrate on finding the right words.

I feel awkward as her hot tears sear into my skin like a mark of shame. I bring my hand to her head, undoing her usual pristine hairstyle. I run my hand over her scalp and the nape of her neck, gently scratching her skin. She calms down slowly, relaxing more into me more. My hand slows with her tears, until both cease and we remain there, unmoving for what feels like eternity. Neither one of us knows how to proceed, not wanting to ruin our brief moment of peace and unspoken understanding of what the other needs.

It has to end eventually however, and I am the one to do so, saying words I never thought I'd utter to this woman in my life. Before I can gather what to say three simple words cross my mind, "...I am sorry."

No. I will never apologise to this woman.

Instead I simply remove all venom from my being. I render myself completely vulnerable to her, a spider without its fangs, completely defenceless. "I don't think before I speak. As you know I'm not exactly great at the whole communication thing. So understand, I did not mean to hurt you. I just struggle when taking others emotions into account and instead I chose to be selfish by lashing out at you, it was immature of me."

The air felt thick as I tried to regain my lost stoicism. I feel shame and pity for both of us. I pry her away from my body as I stand, desperately needing to leave, but my legs buckle beneath my weight as everything goes blurry - fuck. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

Before my body can meet the welcoming ground, I am snatched by a set of strong arms. She turns me to face her once more, before gently setting me on the settee. She turns away from me walking towards her desk as she speaks, her voice still not quite back to it's typical happy/mildly aggressive cadence.

"I had the nurses come to see you here, because I know you don't like the nursing wing of the academy. They said you'd have a mild concussion from hitting your head, and told me to observe you, which is why I didn't put you in your dorm. I know you think of me as being too proud to admit when I am wrong, but I want you to know I will never put my pride before the health of you, or anyone else in this academy."

God, what is wrong with Weems, I think I broke her. She's being too emotional - in the sad way, normally she's just angry. I swear, she speaks exclusively in passive aggressive niceness. I lift my head to properly meet her eyes.

She has taken her seat pride of place behind her desk, having almost the same power behind it as when a queen takes her throne. I begin to verbalise my thoughts.

"Are you on your period? Or are you too old for that... when does menopause start? Oh wait, could it be perimenopause? Oh god, are you pregnant? Can you still even get pregnant?" I become horrified as the last thought even crossed my mind, that poor child.

I notice Weem's equally horrified expression contorting her features, "Mx/Mr/Miss L/N just how old do you think I am exactly? I also don't appreciate the invasive line of questioning, but for your information, no, I am not pregnant."

I shutter slightly feeling her peircing gaze wait for me to answer her. "I want to say, 54...?" Oh God, she looks like she's about to slap me. "54! I beg your pardon, Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, I am 44, and I do not appreciate you aging me a decade! I should give you an extra detention for this alone."

I look at her, wondering if she has been seriously affected by my words, merely her vanity showing as per usual, or if this is her failed attempt trying to be more humorous while scolding me. I run my hand through my hair and let it fall over my eyes.

"I don't give a shit how old you are! You still cried like a baby either way, get over yourself, you're not 2. So what? You nearly murdered someone, we've all been there. You aren't special, so don't expect sympathy from me!"

Weems stands once and strides towards me. I am not interested in her lectures about manners and etiquette, so I leave quickly through the nearest set of doors and out into the corridor, taking a sharp right into the closest room to me.

Grabbing the chair beside me, I barricade the door, allowing myself to slide down it and contemplate all that's happened thus far, while also figuring out an excuse. I look around the room, only now realising I've locked myself within Weems' bedroom.

"Shit."

================tags================

@the-bagel24, @suckerforcate

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

(I'm pretty sure I accidentally sent an unfinished version of this ask if I did my bad)

Skele is at S/O's hometown to visit family for the weekend. Skele hears S/O call them from another room. They see S/O on the floor with horrible head pain, they look deathly pale, and can’t move properly.

At the hospital they are told that have no available rooms so S/O is forced to walk a bit with nurse's help and put into a wheelchair in the waiting room. S/O who is in clearly in a lot of pain is desperately trying to lie on the floor because it "makes their head hurt less". S/O is also a little humiliated because they were in middle of getting ready for bed so they are half-dressed in front of everybody in the waiting room.

After a couple of hours S/O is finally seen by someone. They have to be transfered to another hospital via helicopter because this one can't help. Skele and S/O's family drive an hour to get there.

Turns out S/O had a brain aneurysm. They have tubes in their head to drain the blood and can't move much to prevent brain damage. S/O's mom is telling the doctors about what happened at other hospital and their horrified because everything the nurses did was dangerous and could've hurt S/O more. S/O's sister is angry and says she used to intern at the hospital and says the people there discriminate and treat everyone who comes in like a "drug addict" (their hometown has a lot of them) and isn't careful with patients. Even though drug addicts shouldn't be treated poorly either S/O's family has recovered/recovering addicts so they experience. Family insists last hospital did have a room and just didn't give it to S/O, they're mad.

S/O will have to relearn to walk and will fully recover but it could've been really bad.

How does Skele react when they find S/O? How do they act at the first hospital? How do react at the second hospital when they find out about everything? How is recovery?

(Sorry this is so specific based on real events, love your stuff btw I check in on your blog every day 💞💞💞)

Undertale Sans - Well that was for sure not a good day. Sans bottled all of his feelings to focus on his S/O, and made sure to be there every step of the way. He had a feeling the first hospital didn't think you were serious, but he's not a doctor, he didn't know what else to do. After discovering you almost die and that the first hospital made things worse, he actually feels guilty because he didn't say anything and maybe you wouldn't be that bad now, and ok, maybe he's thinking this too much. He's just relieved you're finally having a treatment and he assures you he's not moving his butt from that chair in your room until you feel better. He tries to help the best he can through the recovery, giving you support and comfort. He's good at that.

Undertale Papyrus - He's a bit shaken at the end of the day because DAMN that was scary. Papyrus tried to argue with the doctors in the first hospital, and was so relieved when the helicopter arrived, before panicking again when he realized it meant he had to let you go because he couldn't go with you. Then when he arrived, the doctors refused to let him see you for long hours, and that for sure didn't help his anxiety. Papyrus looks like he hasn't slept in an entire week even though it's just one day. He's exhausted, and he hates all those tubes in your head. He can't sleep that night, nor the three nights after. Actually, he doesn't sleep at all until his body gives up on him, forcing the doctors to hospitalize him as well so he rests. Thank Asgore, things will get better with time. Papyrus is supportive and tries to help with the recovery. He's always optimistic which definitely helps. He can't wait for all of this to be just a nightmare though.

Underswap Sans - He got incredibly frustrated in the first hospital. He knows drug addicts, he's a police officer, and he could tell the doctors were treating his S/O like one. Blue tried to insist, he really did, but that didn't really work. He was only relieved once after arguing for two hours, you finally able to go to another hospital. He's worried when he sees you with all the tubes, but at least you're saved. He will definitely report the first hospital for abuse and ask for reparations as you struggle in your everyday life to get better. He's there for you though, even switching to a part-time police officer job to take care of you.

Underswap Papyrus - That was a horrible stressful day. Poor Honey completely panicked when they refused you in the first hospital, because what the hell, you can't stand up??? And then he finds you later with tubes literally INSIDE your head and that was way too much for him. He passes out lol. He's going to be anxious all the time you recover. He wishes he could do more for you, but he can't really do more than what the doctor did so... He does his best to stay by your side and help the best he can.

Underfell Sans - He got so angry in the first hospital that the security had to drag him out. He almost assaulted a nurse and two doctors who shook your problem away like it's nothing when he's on the verge of having a mental breakdown because of how scared he is for you. He calms down when you're finally taken care of elsewhere, even though he's really not ok finding you in an even more horrible state than when he brought you there. Red is going to be overprotective while you recover. He's terrified to lose you and the whole process kinda traumatized him a little, even though he says it's not true. He's going to have some bad nightmares the nights that followed.

Underfell Papyrus - He's furious about how you were treated in the first hospital. Edge argued really loudly with the medical team, to the point it was possible to hear him from outside the building. He's actually the one who struggled to get you to another hospital as fast as possible. Once he knows you're out and safe though, he's not holding back and says straight to the medical team that he's going to sue each and every one of them for endangering his S/O's life. That's only that they start to argue to calm him down because Edge is the best lawyer in town and none of them has enough money to pay someone to fight against him, really. Edge then calls your family to explain the situation and joins them to the other hospital, calmer. He's relieved you're going to be ok, even though hard days are coming. That's fine, he's good with taking care of people through hard days. Like Red, he gets very protective during your recovery. He can get a little pushy as well, but he really wants to help you feel better.

Horrortale Sans - All of this story will for sure not help him to like hospitals better. He tried to help you with Toriel's magic to avoid going to the hospital, but since it didn't work, he took you there himself. He probably didn't help the first medical team to help you as he growled at each person with a white coat passing too close to him. He got mad when you had to take the helicopter without him, and you actually had to call Willow because he was ready to fight the doctor if they dared to take you away. He calms down once his brother convinces him it's for your own good, and he lets you go, kinda with a heavy heart. Oak is definitely not ok when he sees you again long hours later, with all these tubes everywhere. He immediately gets protective and just puts his big head on your chest so he can rest while making sure you're still breathing. That's going to be complicated for Oak during your recovery, but you will get there eventually and everything will be better.

Horrortale Papyrus - Well, he went there. He knows what it is to wake up one morning and your body isn't responding anymore. Willow stays calm through the whole process. He didn't agree with how they treated you in the first hospital, but ironically, he got treated the same way in that very same hospital the first time he reached the surface. He immediately asks the doctor to take you to the hospital he's going to usually. He knows the team better and it comforts him to know you'll be in good hands there. He tells you not to worry as you leave in the helicopter, and takes care of all the papers for you, and warn your family. He's a bit in shock when he sees you again, as he didn't expect this to be that serious, but he's glad you're ok. He doesn't worry too much for you recovery, as you kinda have a specialist in that in the house. He's going to help you with all he learned those last years, which actually helps you to recover twice faster than what the doctors planned.

Swapfell Sans - Rus took you to the hospital. Nox was too scared you might die. He just couldn't. He's taking news thanks to his brother, but he's really not feeling well, roaming the house anxiously. He can't take it eventually and comes to join you when he learns that you had been taken to another hospital after the first one treated you horribly. He apologizes for not being there sooner and tries to push away his terror to support you. He still looks a bit miserable, but it will get better as doctors say you're out of danger. He promises to be there for you through your recovery and even argues with the Queen to have free time so he can take care of you. He's not losing you too.

Swapfell Papyrus - Rus tries his best to distract you while you're waiting for long hours in the first hospital. He's nervous, and he can see you're reacting less and less, but he's still talking, the voice shaking, trying to comfort you and, well, himself as well. He's so relieved when you can finally join another hospital. He's not too happy he can't go in the helicopter with you, but it left him some time to befriend your family, while waiting for you in the waiting room of the second hospital. He's happy to see you again. He doesn't really care about all the things planted in your head. He goes back to talking to you, to calm his anxiety. He refuses to leave your side though. Even if the doctors tried to get rid of him several times, he teleported right back into your room ten minutes later lol, so they gave up and let him stay. He tries to be here while you're recovering, even though he's distracting you maybe a little too much during your exercises lol.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Wine is a little stressed. He doesn't like that you're not ok. He doesn't like those doctors who act like you're lying. So he gets angry and yes, a gun gets involved somewhere on the road. He threatens the doctors to get more angry if they keep ignoring you. He gets you a helicopter in less than an hour so you get treated properly. He doesn't care if he gets in trouble as long as you're fine. He calms down once he's sure you're ok and starts to chill a little, to help you through your recovery. He's still mad at the first hospital, and will definitely sue them, but he's glad you're ok.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's completely lost, but he tries to help the best he can. He's really stressed out, but he doesn't really have the knowledge of what he can do to make the situation better. With all the people around, he's really not feeling ok and yeah, he might have a few panic attacks through the day. He's sorry he can't be there 100% for you and he feels horrible for annoying you with his anxiety in such a moment. You have to flick him behind the head a few times to tell him to stop devaluing himself. He keeps a brave face when you abandon him to go to another hospital, and then he breaks down again. Your family supports him on the way to the second hospital. He feels a bit better when he sees you're still alive, and actually out of danger. He does his best to refrain from his need to hug you tight and never let you go, and simply crush your hand into his lol. You're not sure how you're going to do with your recovery. But then you remember you have Mr. Follow-All-the-Rules-Wine home to discipline you lol. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello, good morning/evening! I was wondering if you could do a platonic TADC x reader thing where the reader is sort of like a marionette and has strings and that's how they move? They're really happy-go-lucky but a bit airheaded (and gullible). I don't know if I have to specify a character or if it can be the entire cast, but in case we do have to specify; Gangle, Pomni, and Jax! (Pls Gangle is my fave character omg)

Have a wonderful day! Stay hydrated and well-rested!

Gangle, Pomni, and Jax x puppet!airheaded!happy-go-lucky!reader ! (Platonic!)

Now that's one hell of a title/lh

Originally this was going to be the full cast but I'm truly on a time crunch (grocery delivery soon and my funky brain flow can break easily) and I truly could not come up with any worthwhile ideas for the others TToTT + I got a art wip I need to finish <\3

Couldnt find a cute gif so

Throws slime at you

GANGLE:

Your energy tends to rub of on her; usually getting her to ease around you, perhaps even smiling a bit even with her tragedy mask! That's some real contagious joy you have right there! Isnt too mean about your silly behavior that comes with your air headedness, shes far too nice to say anything about it... maybe if it comes to your own detriment... probably puts cute ribbons and bows and other accessories on your strings!

POMNI:

Similar to gangle, your nature can make the tenseness in pomnis body and mind ease up just a tad! Its not a solution to her problems, but that's okay... shes not going to hold you responsible for that.. tries to keep an eye on you during IHA adventures since you may or may not have a habit of wandering off when something else catches your eye. She doesnt want you to get lose, or worse: hurt..! Has tried to crane her neck up to see where your strings are coming from but they just

Keep going

JAX:

He cuts your strings (which I think would regenerate fairly quickly)/j

Except I can probably see him doing that, at least before you guys become friends. Like hes an asshole, but I dont think he would purposefully immobilize you for shits and giggles when you two get close. Its like how hes comfortable taking zoobles arm off to scratch his back, I think! Ultimately doesn't do any lasting damage but its definitely not nice... cuts it out when he actually takes the time to befriend you (pun intended btw)

Does the finger flick thing with you and you fall for it everytime (the thing where you point at their chest, make them look down, then flick their nose with your finger)

Though with that being said, he thinks you're weirdly cheerful for being in a place like this. Probably lightheartedly calls you weird; I mean yeah sure theres ragatha but shes more optimistic than cheerful.. hmm.. but who is he to shatter your joy?

[yurious-george]

4'33'', by John Cage, is commonly remembered as 4 and a half minutes of silence. But contrary to popular belief, the song is not actually meant to be the sound of silence, but the sound of quiet. Ambient noises contribute to - and consist of - the performance. True silence does not exist. If one tilts their head right, the whole world sings. and, with that said, a playlist.

yeah, this one's a doozy. hi, cubewatermelon and co. miss me?

rhetorical question. don't answer that.

A few nitty-gritty things out of the way, first. this is specifically intended for the 2018 mod team for the sleepless domain fans discord server, primarily cubewatermelon/mary cagle. Folks who knew me are welcome to look on, but I'm not going to do much to catch people up to speed. hi, everyone! hope you're well!

I also might be a bit disjointed or biased in my recollection. For reasons that will be made clear extremely soon, I can't put my childhood on a linear timeline. I can only express myself, and hope I don't mess it up horribly this time.

Noooowww to the big stuff. re: stalking; i genuinely didn't mean to stalk anyone, and when they told me to back off, i backed off. I am not willing to discuss this further. not being able to conceptualize other people's emotions or the consequences of my actions has caused some problems for me

that's an autism thing btw. im autistic i dont think i told anyone that

And now, the special guest you've all been waiting for: a big round of applause for the elephant in the room! In accordance with the WMA Declaration of Tokyo, the deliberate overprescription of psychotropic medication is a form of pharmacological torture. Most victims of pharmacological torture and experimentation are children, because it is nigh-impossible to sue for brain damage when there is no fully-formed adult brain for comparison prior to the abuse.

Torture is a strong word, but I don't have another word to use. psychiatric abuse usually describes mistreatment in psychiatric wards; pharmacological abuse describes a patient who takes advantage of a prescription; medical abuse is when a doctor (usually physically) abuses their patient. Being able to understand what happened to you is a form of agency, and I don't even have the words. I identify as a torture victim; this may change.

This high dose was precedented and legal, but the vaginal stretching of intersex infants is also legal. much involuntary psychiatric & psychotropic treatment (such as restraints and solitary confinement) are legal, and child marriage is legal. abuse is not abnormal: it is profoundly normal. Because something is normal, legal, and precedented does not prevent it from being torture.

and when your mother hands you a poison apple and says "here, eat this; it will be good for you; i hope someday you'll forgive me" you have to eat it, because you are eight years old and you don't get to argue with your mother. despite all this, I don't blame my aunt for refilling the high dose. when I said the dose was hurting me, she listened. (thank you, auntie. i wouldn't have gotten out without you.)

And this brings us to you. oh, you four. (five? i forget myself!)

I'd like to establish some context. I was used to things getting taken from me. friend groups in particular: I didn't expect to keep any friends, because I constantly expected to have to pack up and move on. I moved a lot in my childhood, and in Africa, i was constantly told that at some undetermined point in the near future, i'd have to go back to the states. living with my aunt was a temporary thing, i was expected to eventually move back in with my parents at some undetermined point in the future. I relied heavily on online friends because they were people I could have anywhere, so online communities were my only lifeline - not to mention, i was basically in solitary confinement while in Kenya.

Most of all, I was terrified of my mental health/actions being exposed, examined, found lacking, and ultimately excluded. (this is why i was so afraid of psychiatric wards.) When you decided something had to be done about me - cutting me off from the server so i had to speak with you - It was either comply with your demands to communicate (which I could not, and did not understand why) or lose the community. I was so, so afraid of you i wanted to die when you all confronted me, and of course i couldn't say that, because only manipulative people would say "your attempt to solve this problem makes me want to seriously hurt myself."

But then I got called manipulative anyway <3 yay <3

Seriously: I wasn't trying to manipulate anyone, and i have no idea how you can manipulate someone without intention. (ah, that felt good to say!) Between medication spellbinding, alexithymia, and prior abuse, all my thoughts were so disordered i genuinely couldn't explain myself most of the time. Looking back, I have no childhood memory where I was fully lucid. I leaned into a manic persona because it was the only way I had any agency at all. I was something beyond both reason and self-recognition, and I willingly tried to brute-force my way through an extreme trauma response to please you. And you still hit me with my worst nightmare. that's why i was mad at you lol

I was so, so afraid, all the time, and I didn't even have the tools to understand I was afraid. How could someone as confident and impulsive as me be so fearful all the time? Was that manic persona freedom? Or was it a longer leash?

(Forgive my impulse toward rhetoric. I shouldn't ask questions you can't answer.)

I also couldn't say how badly i was hurting, because that would be venting, but you also accused me of venting when I was just talking about my day? or what was on my mind? I didn't understand that very well. autism moment, don't bother explaining it now. I also couldn't burden people with my actual mental health problems, because making strangers deal with that would be toxic! I resent you for setting up a system where it seemed safest not to speak and then punishing me for my inability to communicate. I resent every system that set me up for failure and punished me for failing, including yours.

And yet - I know that was not your intent! I can see in retrospect how hard you tried to be kind using the tools you had. The people with power over me, who genuinely did not want to do me harm and gave me multiple second chances, still upheld and facilitated the systems that tortured me; a miniature parody of the psychiatric system. (talk therapy and communication are useless if you struggle with self-awareness.) The same is true for the source: No person in my psychiatric treatment wanted me to suffer, and yet, here I am: a torture victim without a torturer. (except my parents, sort of.)

The logical conclusion, then: the system only intends to heal those who are already compliant, or prioritize compliance. The rest of us are treated to induce compliance, and if we still cannot, we are sequestered away. My medicine made me sick, and my prescribers made money off of keeping me sick - off of my torture. This is not a conspiracy: it is my lived experience.

However, even if i could communicate perfectly, we still would have had massive communication issues. Like - you know that one page where ben and steffi talk about dating, and ben says he thought steffi was gay? and steffi gets super defensive and it escalates into a screaming fight? I found that offensive, because a character getting that offput by the concept of not liking men (or a man) is kind of lesbophobic! But I understood that it would be a pain to redraw/write the page so they they fight about something else, don't fight, or some other solution, so i didn't need it to be fixed - just wanted to point out that was a reasonable interpretation, and one to be aware of in the future. but somehow my concerns got interpreted as a phrasing issue…? like, Ms. Cagle rewrote the page to say "weren't into guys" instead of "gay"..? You were very polite about it, Ms! But I found this interaction so baffling I didn't even try to correct it. that… wasn't what i said…

frankly we should bring back mildly homophobic steffi. twas narratively appropriate (<- different essay for a different time)

but yeah the whole communication operation was doomed from the start. rip!

The issue was always my inability to communicate, but my meds made it nigh-impossible to understand what I was feeling, and when I did, expressing myself could get me institutionalized. My suffering was inevitable but always, somehow, my fault. Awesome! *disintegrates into a pile of sand*

I cannot deny I was a girl like a box of matches waiting to be struck. You had no choice but to do as you did. But is it really what you ought to have done? (On this, I have no answer. I hope you have one that satisfies you.)

(that was genuine, by the by. i've spent a lot of time pondering this mess, and I still haven't found the "right" answer. I don't think there is one - though action or inaction, there is no version of this story where I don't suffer. I can only hope it was worth it. wait, hold on *adds the omelas child to my Kin List*)

Nor can I deny making my previous open letter in a small attempt to 'get back' at you - i'm not above that. lord knows i'm not innocent. but i really was trying to channel that rage into something productive. unfortunately i was doomed to fail because i didn't know what i meant. if you showed me that letter now, you'd hear a lot of "what? I don't know why I said that" "i have no idea why i would complain about something so minor" etc. You can disregard all that. This is what I was trying to say. the obsession, the trauma, the projection: all of it. So much of my obsession was talking around an issue i couldn't identify.

(meguka image) I know now

I knew I would be traumatized by this whole situation. I saw it coming and i could do nothing to stop it. But Gear was crucial to deciphering all this - in fact, suddenly thinking about her last year prompted me to really dissect my medical situation and realize i was tortured. I couldn't have done it without her. cassie & maggie, against the world.

Gear scans surprisingly well as a victim of long-term torture, actually. I don't think you meant to do that but good job!

speaking of her - i still don't think she's consistently suicidal. she's a real cockroach of a character, and I love her for it! But sometimes, i want to die and i want to live mean the same thing, because they both mean i need to get out of here. Imo, her thought processes and desires frequently contradict themselves, like mine did. and making your favs kill themselves in increasingly gruesome ways is really fun catharsis!

But please don't take this to mean I consider myself - or Gear - blameless. I love her because she's not blameless, because she's cruel for fun, because she'd rather be wicked than helpless. Like knows like. What I mean to say is, as of 2018, there is a black space between little Margret and Gear, and I saw all the signs of something very, very bad happening in that space. I know because I shared that space. what I mean to say is, teenage girls don't go out of their minds over nothing. Everything I made here is just an expression of what I heard in the narrative's silences.

and thus my biggest apprehension around revisiting the comic. knowing the author and I have such fundamentally different experiences with mental health - what if the signs of torture i picked up on weren't intended, or i completely made them up? what if, in the parts i haven't read yet, there's information that uproots my entire interpretation, or berates her for refusing mental health services that hurt me profoundly? how do you reconcile that a character so crucial to deciphering yourself may not be anything like you at all? I Don't Know. Shitpost, probably

You're welcome to share those shitposts and whatnot by the way. Creating this let me put down years of hurt, and i hope it relieves you, too. I don't need to go back on the server, or forgiveness, or anything besides understanding. consider this a peace offering. the terms are yours.

Despite writing nearly 10k words, I still probably missed something or was callous or whatever. Self-expression and self-understanding are… new to me. My apology may be understated, but please take it as I meant it, with utmost sincerity. My askbox is open, and I'm more than happy to discuss antipsych resources, KB, What The Hell Is Wrong With Gear, artistic choices made in this comic, etc. I'm even down to reconnect on discord! Maybe. Uh, I'm conflicted. I reserve my right to not want to talk, be slow in responding, and so on, as should you. we've no obligations and all the time in the world. Let neither of us hurt ourselves in meeting because it's the "right" thing to do. I'm not blaming anyone or trying to start drama. If it would give you the most peace of mind to completely ignore this, please do so.

or, translated: as of right now, I'm not ready for any information about KB after steffi reunites with her dad, or difficult emotional reunions. I would really like to hear from everyone, and I'd appreciate casual well-wishes. I don't want things to be the same, I want them to be peaceful. Baby steps, cassie, baby steps. (very large and fearful prey animal tries not to run into oncoming traffic)

mostly, making this was for me. Perhaps I've said too much, but after spending so long unable to express myself freely, my art was cathartic and necessary. I'm no one's martyr or innocent, I'm just a torture victim trying to make sense of it all. I want to articulate some thoughts I couldn't figure out how to say before and make some silly things that make people laugh. Most of all, I'm happy in ways I never thought I could be, and I would like to share that joy with old acquaintances and other fans of a story I adored.

What I mean to say is: The train's about to leave the station, and there's an empty seat beside me. The train will still leave whether or not you board; but I would be honored not to go it alone!

Thank you to everyone who stuck by me even after the drama. Ethel, Felipe, Chris - even though we've fallen out of contact, your kindness and patience meant more than i can say. special thank you to @stars-in-a-jam-jar, the first person i confessed everything to after the smoke cleared, and someone i consider myself close with no matter how long we fall out of contact. My close online friends, @shafpanda, @theoandmoon, @dvanaestmrva, my honorary cousin @my-name-is-jimmy, and everyone else I confided in about my torture. and, of course, my partners @transloo and @teenyjellyfishy, and my little sibling, @aroacenezhaanddainsleif, the three people I love most in the world. Thank you, all. it is an honor to love you, and be loved by you.

[forgettable-dumbass]

Fuck it, posting my smg4/puzzlevision aus

Ok, so we got the Eaten Stars au

Basically, instead of the stars on Mr. Puzzles' five star necklace breaking, they scattered, and Mario are them, meaning Mr. Puzzles (with a lot of brain damage and memory loss because the stars also acted as an external drive of sorts) has to make a truce with the smg4 crew and get on their good side to fix it and get his memories back. Also Mr. Puzzles and Mario swap bodies for a bit, which leads to the other version of this au

Where they stay body swapped, and now smg3 and Mario, in Mr. Puzzles' body, have to stop Mr. Puzzles in Mario's body

Ok, next we got the remote au, spoilers for the YouTube arc if you haven't watched it yet btw

basically, in this au, Mr. Puzzles gets the YouTube remote, fucking kills Susan, not just delete her like smg3 did, but kills her so she can't come back, then he made peace with the smg4 crew, but the remote is driving him a little crazy and now he's in charge of youtube since susan is out of the picure. Basically our man is burnt out and easily bored.

And of course, there's a love bug au

It goes pretty normally for a love bug au, person, in this case Mr. Puzzles, gets bitten by a love bug, they fall in love with someone, typically the enemy, in this case Mario specifically cause I want him to suffer. After being defeated by the smg4 crew, he lands in a forest, getting bitten by a love bug, then wandering, looking for whatever is now missing, and then he finds it, on the screens of a TV store, there it is, the missing part is Mario. But of course, Mr. Puzzles still has his autonomy so he hides in his now abandoned TV station until that feeling goes away, repressing any remotely loving thoughts. But repressing them makes them worse, thoughts turn into urges, romantic turns into something more than that, and by then, he can't resist the temptation. He manages to get to the fairgrounds, where he's seen and SHOT because of the monstrous transformation from the love bug venom. But, he's not dead, he wakes up in a room of smg4's castle, and is helped by someone, mainly given food by them, he doesn't find out who that person is until his memories start to slip from him, where he grabs the person's hand, covered by a glove with a black cuff and the Roman numeral for 3 on the back, he's already forgotten who had gloves like those. Eventually, the person helping Mr. Puzzles also gives him a plushie, one that looks familiar, it's the smg3 plushie, the person helping him is smg3.

Anyways, the brain rot is real and I have acquired several vocal stims from smg4

[persesphonestears]

A little one-shot of Enby! reader kicking ass with cod boys being there too ^^

haven-is-happy - I do be loving a mid 20s enby reader causing havoc and making the old men fear her 

Also @haven-is-happy is there any anon you wanna be because I luv you ^^

This is not proof read btw so very sorry if there are mistakes ^^

Summary?: Young mid 20’s enby reader(call sign is gonna be Razor) proving just because they’re younger and not your typical ‘male or female’ soldier that they will and can gladly kick ass.

Warnings: Some transphobia(?), Swearing, Degrading from other recruits, fighting, blood, y/n beating ass ^3^

Y/N’s POV:

Joining the 141 was some type of dream, working under Laswell for the longest time, and then out of nowhere telling me she wants me to join one of the most prestigious task forces there is. I thought I was dreaming, until finally being dropped off and greeted by Captain John Price himself.

"Sargent Razor." I nodded back to him holding my hand out to greet the bearded man, "Captain, Its nice to meet you." Thank the gods that I had my gloves on, or I think my hands would have drenched his with my sweat. "Same to you, Laswell has said good things about you, I'm hoping you live up to them." "Yes sir."

He led me into what I assumed was the Rec Room, Entering there was some recruits chatting to each other on some of the couches and other watching TV; non paying attention to the Captain and I walking in. "Ahem?" Captain Price roughly cleared his throat gaining peoples attention as they turned and sent small greetings to their Captain.

"Alright Lads listen up. This 'ere is Sargent Razor, newest to the team. You will treat 'em with the same respect you give everyone else. Understood?" His voiced boomed through out the room as everyone just nodded, some eyeing me and whispering to others next to them. Its like going to a new class in high school all over again.

Price turned again and gave me some directions for where my room, his office and the training grounds were, I thanked him and grabbed my bags heading to my room before being stopped by an even rougher british voice booming through the room, "Everyone in the training grounds in 10. Lets see how he new recruit goes.". Chuckles and sighs where heard out through the room as I groaned and kept walking. Wonderful.

----Small time skip + No ones POV----

After Y/N had changed into some work out type clothes, they reached the training grounds they looked around at the testosterone filled room cringing as all they saw was men. Crossing their arms they continued walking to their Lieutenant; who was currently conversing with the other two 141 men. When they caught eye of you walking over Ghost turned to them and smirked under his mask. "Sargent." "Lieutenant.".

"Alright whose up against the new guy here first hm?" Ghost's voice once again boomed through out the room though there was a hint of a tease. There wasn't anyway you'd take half the guys here easily. Multiple men's hands flew up, most chuckling to themselves, thinking close to the same thing as ghost. Ghost being the lovely person he is picked one of the biggest recruits he saw. After everyone gathered around the small ring they had with both you and this buff man who was much bigger then you inside.

"Don't worry lil guy. Maybe me beating some sense into you will help, some brain damage may help you be less delusional" He murmured loud enough for you and others to hear causing chuckles to come around you. You knew what he meant. Of course you did. You've been berated and made fun of for not being male or female since you joined the military.

You didn't respond, glad you now had a real reason to beat your so called teammate into the ground. Ghost, Soap, Gaz and Price stood watching, surprised at their privates choice of biggited words towards you, but more so the small smirk that ghosted your face after what he said. "GO." Ghost yelled out interested to see how this played out. Gaz and Soap being ready to pull the big guy off you if needed.

The two of you started circling each other, neither going to strike first. "Come on you gotta have some move to use on me, you came up with you gender you can surely come up with an attack. Or will you start crying you type of people always seem to be so sensitive about this stuff" He yelled out laughing at his comment. So you gave in. You attacked like he told you to.

You charged forward, jumping on the ring edge to gain height on him, wrapping your legs around his neck taking him down with the force of the jump. After a second or two he managed to grip your thighs off his neck, turning over to grip your neck, "Jokes on you I'm into this typa shit." You smirked. Seeing your smirk he gripped tighter and gave you a good few decks to the face.

The two of you continued to fight, and as much as a surprise to everyone there you were better then your 'teammate' though he was able to gain some ground and had you on your back, him on op and straddling your hips to hold you in place. As the man on top of you was about to make another comment, he faltered looking away for a second, you, seizing the opportunity sat up quickly smashing your head to his hearing the satisfying crunch of what you guessed was a broken nose. The force had him stumbling back as you didn't waste time getting up and putting him in a rear naked chokehold (please its an actual thing leave me alone).

Adding pressure to his neck as he wriggled to try get out of your grip; even try to get up and slam you back down, though you didn't falter and happily added some strong kicks to both his stomach and his 'little guy'; and eventually he tapped out. After letting him go and him mumbling some more comments, everyone else was eerily quiet.

Turning facing everyone but mainly the rest of the 141, "Just because I'm small doesn't mean I won't cut your dicks off if more comments about me are made" Smiling and walking out of the training grounds downing your water. The rest of the recruits started at where you had just left. How tf? The 141 boys turned to each other surprised that you were able to take down one of their buffest recruits and walk away with few bruises and a split lip.

"OI GET BACK TO TRAINING" Everyone scrambled back to what their training would normally be after hearing their captain yelling. Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz walked out feeling somewhat guilty, they know Laswell sent you but Jesus they weren't expecting someone who was significantly smaller then them to beat someone half your size. They all sent glances at each other. You sure were going to be an interesting team member.

Okay, I'm not proof reading this cause I'm super lazy and wrote this whole thing in one sitting so yeah, I can do another part if you guys want. But anyways ^^

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group F, Round 2, Poll 7:

Propaganda under the cut

Tsurumi Tokushirou

in two words: "it's love". I was already insane about this guy but this line. just wow. the context is a flashback in which Tsurumi has been away fighting in the Sino-Japanese war and is now telling his dojo master that even trained soldiers are typically reluctant to kill another person and many will only pretend to fire their weapons. he spent a long time considering how you convince them to overcome that before figuring it out. "the motivating force that can bring out the aggressiveness in your soldiers... it isn't hatred of the enemy troops, nor is it fear... it isn't even a difference in political ideals. [what is it then?] it's love". this man is *surrounded* by soldiers who will do anything for him and you slowly see through multiple flashbacks just how much he has been pulling strings for *years* to make them love him. this particular flashback involves two fourteen year olds fighting over his attention until one of them kills the other and tsurumi helps cover up the murder and tells the murderer how *of course you have always been my favourite*. that kid goes on to work under him and when tsurumi draws on his face as a punishment he gets the drawings tattooed on so they stay forever. in another case he orchestrates the kidnapping of a different 14yo son of a navy commander by "Russians" (his loyal subordinates) and then pulls off a dashing rescue, earning the livelong military support of the dad and a major crush from the son. this kid chooses to go to army route rather than follow his dad into the navy, specifically because of tsurumi who he also ends up working for. he can't speak comprehensibly to tsurumi and edits himself into photos of him. case 3: while a soldier is away at war he crush appears to commit suicide by drowning in the sea. upon finding out that his dad told her he wasn't coming back, he beats him to death and ends up on death row. I forget exactly what info is revealed when but a) the woman is alive and tsurumi helped her move to Tokyo and get married, b) tsurumi planted fake bones under tsukishima's father's house to frame him for her murder, c) this then allowed tsukishima to be freed from jail, as long as he agreed to work for tsurumi as a Russian translator (he doesn't speak Russian at the time), d) tsukishima doesn't know all of this initially but tsurumi sets things up so he overhears a convo that reveals some of it so that he can know exactly what lengths tsurumi went to and feel even more in his debt, e) tsukishima later realises that conversation was set up and its purpose but *even with that knowledge* and being probably the character most aware of Tsurumi's manipulations, the pull is too strong and he will follow him to the ends of the earth. literally his only goal in life now is to have front row seats to the Tsurumi Theatre, which btw involves chasing convicts around to obtain their skins, wiping out entire prison populations and invading parts of Russia. he sometimes blames his erratic actions on the brain damage caused by a mortar shell to the forehead but he was doing all the same things before that, just more quietly. he knows *exactly* what he's doing and has everything planned out in detail

Sophie Devereaux

shes a professional grifter she literally gaslight gatekeep girlbosses her way into billions of dollars over the course of the show + has stashes of art and artifacts hidden around the world that she used that skillset to get prior to the events of the show

[daemon-in-my-head]

Hi. I'm bored. And incredibly sleep-deprived. So let me try and fix the loopholes Larian left behind when doing that whole durge/chosen of the dead 3 plotline.

Let's start with the obvious: Durge is a titan. Even if we ignore that Durge is what would happen if Bhaals pinkie decided to gain conciseness of its own, Orin is brutal. She's strong. And while she's a chosen, she's also a 2nd Gen Bhaalspawn. She hardly has any "taint" worth mentioning that could enhance her abilities, no divine spark, but Durge does. Pretadpole Durge is a menace and a savage. Look at Gortash's decked-out stats while being only level 9 and the thinker rather than the murderer. Durge most definitely was even more fearsome before the parasitic nerf.

With that established, let me claim the following: Durge is immortal. Age, sickness, poison, etc can not kill them. But legendary weapons can, although even in that case, by the grace of being a titan, Bhaal can revive them if he wants to. They are not invincible or smth. They can be hurt and all, but the damage wont be as severe for most instances, so long as there arent any cut off parts or scooped out brains. Durge would need the proper revival to reclaim that, really rebuild the body u know? Well, this also means Kressas little fun project could've never killed Durge. They would've simply felt like they were dying the entire time without getting the sweet release that would've been death. Or maybe at one point they did, but seeing how the Absolutes plot wasn't done yet Bhaal immediately pressed the undo button.

Speaking off, Durge longs for death. They see beauty in obliteration. It just sucks they can't die until Bhaal allows them to. This also explains why they're still alive and why Bhaal killed them in a redemption ending. It takes a deity or a legendary weapon to kill a titan.

Regarding weapons, guess how exactly the alliance didn't falter for as long as Durge was there but shattered the second Orin took over? Neither Ketheric nor Gortash have a legendary weapon. Orin is the only one who does, and it's a ceremonial blade set she most likely stole off of Durge's knocked-out body. Even if they wanted to kill Durge, before the plan concluded, they could hardly do it, and even if they had wounded Durge severely, they would've killed them first before Daddy Bhaal would revive them because their job here wasn't done yet.

It takes another titan or a god to kill one, so the only people capable of doing so are Bhaal and Durge. Sure other gods, too, but they're forbidden from meddling, and everyone still remembers what happened the last time a certain Tyrant pissed off Ao.

As for why Orin attacked them? Siblings. That's the only explanation you need, really. Durge prayer probably pissed her off, and she just did the sibling thing, that is, maim her bloodkin. Probably stuffed a tadpole in there when Durge didn't get up in time so Orin would have an excuse before Bhaal.

This also gives us 2 options why Gortash did nothing despite expecting the Brain to transform.

1; better chances at killing Durge when it would eventually come down to it. A netherbrain infused with Netherese Magic (which is also Durges Origin btw, Bhaal was netherese himself) simply has better odds against a quasi deity than a human does.

2; he was convinced they'd ascend as gods themselves. Durge was already a quasi deity so the last bit wouldn't have been hard. And with a deity on your side surely even a netherbrain is no challenge.

Now back to unholy thoughts-

[sig-got-a-gun]

okay so if moon kills sig. imma. imma need to know how/why/WHAT HAPPENS,,,,please,,,evil fucked up moon is making my brain go brrrr

OKAY SO

Let me start from the beggining

So in this au, everything is the same up until just after survivor/Monk timelines. Then, after a rain, she gets caught on something as the room is emptying out of water. So she tries to get loose, but by the time she can most of the water has drained, and she falls straight to the ground.

It damages her lenses, and her forhead symbol (in my headcanon its a glass thing with her personality processors in it.). So, this knocks her out and her systems desperately try to reboot. It pieces together what it can without her, but it takes several cycles. More drownings where internal mechanics are now entirely exposed to the water damage. Her personality gets scrambled.

Her memories however, remain. At least, the ones that she could remember in the first place.

At some point after waking back up, she'd get this sort of itch. Call it phantom pain, that itch or pain you get where a limb used to be. It's her structure but it's so infinitely frustrating and disorienting that in a fit of discomfort and rage she manages to rip herself off the arm.

Anyways after this she would sort of wonder what to do, still sticking around in that chamber for a bit. Then some scavengers would come by. They do sometimes but they visited today. Usually she can't move or do anything threatening appearing to them but she looks entirely different now, and out of a sort of "holy shit, creatures" she moves towards them which freaks them out and one throws a warning spear. This makes moon jump, but there isnt really anything she can do to show she wont do anything. spear into the chest. Directly into the memory processor.

This makes her neurons freak and try to save any memory they can. 3 are eaten by scavengers as Moon is sort of frozen with a spear sticking out of her, not even being able to process the intense pain she is in from the neuron losses and the spear itself. Some wires cross and something sparks.

Almost instinctually, she rips the spear out and one-shots a scavenger reaching for another neuron. scary fast she kills the other three in her chamber. And then with so few memories left, she stores those precious two neurons away within herself. She barely remembers a lot now. But what she does know is that pebbles put her in this position. And due to the personality scramble... she's fucking pissed about it.

After this she goes on a murder rampage towards Pebbles, killing anything that bothers her too much.

Shed get to Pebbles, who'd see her coming but be unable to do anything about it, a stressful encounter, and then shed yank out his umbilical wires, and take him off his arm. She'd do so in such a way that he cannot do anything else except for deteriorate. The horrid fate of a thing that can't die in any way that counts.

His would of course cancel out Pebbles lock down and all processes, immediately lowering steam output. This is noticed.

Moon then decides to visit her old bestie, now done with her main rage but still missing screws yknow.

(During this ui is immediately investigating the situation at pebbles.)

Anyways, Moon gets to sig all like "miss me?" Sig is freaked, but excited that they can both hang out again. Some way or another though sig finds out what Moon did and is highkey unnerved. Plus her personality is a lot different than it used to be so its... bothering.

Moon overhears a call between sig and Suns where sig expresses the concerns, and then moon gets pissed, unplugs sig on call, then tells Suns she's coming for him next.

Anyways, after that it becomes a chain. From sig toSuns, suns told wind, so she goes there next, and then ui manages to be the last girl and send put an emergency sos before dying and let's the whole iterator kind that can recieve messages that there is an iterator on the loose, and that she is dangerous.

From then on its kill kill kill baby

Btw with the different accessories:

Purple scarf: sig

Green ribbon: wind

Orange infinity scarf/armband: peb

Pearl bracelet: inn

Antennae clip: suns

[glitterpensupremacy]

Now that Adrien’s done (and my brain is ready), it’s time to do the precious bug girl:

Marinette MTS

Like Adrien, she has four categories. They are as follows:

1. General Info

2. Personality

3. Key Relationships

4. Character Growth

1. General Info

Unlike Adrien, whose appearance doesn’t really change, Marinette MTS has a different look from her OG counterpart. She’s a bit shorter and more muscular. As a civilian her eyes are grey and her hair is dark brown. As Ladybug her eyes are still blue (heroes’ eye colors change to match their Kwami) and her hair is black at the roots, blue at the tips (that’s who my profile picture is, btw).

In addition to Marinette no longer being the sole protagonist and the side characters receiving more of a focus, she also won’t become the Guardian in MTS. For those who aren’t aware, the Miraculous will get scattered around the midpoint of Season 2, making the traditional role of guardian… kinda pointless. (There’s also the issue that making LB the Guardian and CN just a holder undermines the duality and balance essential to their relationship in Miraculous: The Series.)

2. Personality

Marinette is a creative, compassionate, energetic, and cheerful young girl. She has big dreams of becoming a fashion designer, but often struggles with prioritizing her ambitions. Regardless, she rarely backs down from a problem, and is willing to go all out when people need her help on both sides of the mask.

Unfortunately, her selfless nature is equally a vice and a virtue, and she will often try to help others even when it’s exhausting her. She hates saying no to people and letting them down. She might also accidentally shut people out when she’s overloaded, missing several things being said to her.

She’s extremely expressive. Whether she’s happy (a joyful person by default, though she’ll sometimes try to seem more okay than she really is to keep people from worrying), anxious (she often stumbles over her words and is less coordinated than normal), sad (she can be a pretty sensitive person, especially when concerned about her friends), or grouchy (just because she wants to help others doesn’t always mean she has to like it—I like to call her mannerisms when like this the “bug grumble >:(”, it’s one of my favorite moods of hers), you can usually tell how she feels just by looking at her.

3. Key Relationships

Chloe: The MTS MariChloe dynamic is drastically different from the original show. Instead of being Marinette’s childhood bully, she’s actually one of her oldest friends; the two have known each other since they began attending the same school. However, Chloe and Marinette’s relationship is still full of problems. Marinette is constantly pressured to help her with various things, along with having to do damage control whenever Chloe acts out toward others. Chloe does care about Marinette, but doesn’t listen to her or support her needs when she should. Eventually, maintaining this friendship becomes too much for Marinette, and she cuts Chloe off. For a while after that, the two have various spats (usually instigated by Chloe) before coming to an uneasy truce once Chloe starts to improve herself as a person. Things are never quite the same between them, as Marinette isn’t ready to renter a friendship with her.

Adrien: She is initially introduced to Adrien by Chloe, and doesn’t really see the appeal. She’s always been more interested in the fashion designers than the models. As she gets to know him, her opinion slowly shifts. Even though Chloe and her have their friendship break up, Adrien still wants to be her friend, and will even call out Chloe when she’s trying to mess with Marinette. His desire to handle things himself, rather than wanting her to help him all the time like many others, also makes her like him more. When she finally falls in love with Adrien, he gives her his umbrella, only it isn’t a perfect picturesque moment where he gracefully extends his umbrella to her. He gives her it, then proceeds to run out in to the rain, slipping on wet pavement multiple times while loudly yelling that “he’s okay”! Even though she fell in love with the flawed human side of Adrien, she’s still worried that he’ll think she’s just another fan girl fawning over him (spoiler alert: he doesn’t), so she’s extra careful not to overstep any boundaries.

Chat Noir: As I mentioned on the Adrien MTS post, they don’t exactly start on the best terms. Due to his rebellious attitude and more abrasive nature, she assumes that he’s similar to Chloe, only worrying about enjoying himself and carelessly ignoring the needs of everyone else. After the two begin working together as a proper team, she learns small pieces of information that help her realize that there’s more going on to him than she thought. Not only does he seem to live a much more restricted life under the mask, but he is actually capable of being extremely empathetic to others (this will be most especially shown in how he helps her through a particularly difficult moment as Ladybug, along with one of the akuma they encounter). She will inevitably friendzone him when he finally confesses, but that does not change the fact that he’s her partner and easily her most trusted ally.

Alya: Like Chat Noir, strangely enough, Ladybug and Alya Césaire do not exactly “click” like they’re supposed to. Alya is much more skeptical of these new heroes in MTS (I’ll elaborate further in her own post, but we decided to explore a pretty different direction for her character) and wants the public to know their identities. As a result, Marinette is pretty cautious around her, so they don’t become friends right away. That being said, Alya comes to be more understanding of the heroes once she’s put in a similar position to them, while Marinette is able to see Alya’s positive qualities (that being her integrity, honesty, and determination to keep the city safe). They finally become friends at the end of season 2. From there the two are able to learn more about maintaining a healthy friendship from each other.

Lila: The other reason Alya and Marinette don’t become friends right away. After ending things with Chloe, Marinette is somewhat fragile, and doesn’t have a lot of friends (there’s Kim and Adrien, also technically Chat Noir, but he knows Ladybug better than Marinette), with most of the class being wary of her due to her previous connection to Chloe (they don’t realize just how much Marinette actually kept Chloe from being worse yet). Lila, being a master manipulator in this version, instantly takes advantage of this vulnerability to befriend her. Their new friendship seems strong, even if Lila occasionally gives strange advice on how to get closer to her goals (though she’s quick to play it off as a joke if Marinette gets concerned). Slowly, cracks in Lila’s facade become more visible, and Marinette is forced to come to the horrifying realization that her new bestie is actually the supervillain Volpina. (Needless to say that this messes her up for a while.)

Other key dynamics include her parents (important to her but doesn’t affect the plot as much), Kim (another long story), Luka, Gabriel, Hawk Moth, Zoe, and Kagami (I might make them their own post tbh).

4. Character Growth

Marinette principally has two major character arcs (though there’s also a little something else done with her confidence as Ladybug in the final season, but that kinda leads into the finale so I’ll probably discuss it at another time).

Her season one arc is (as you might have guessed) learning to set limits with other people. Much like Chat Noir’s prime ability Wildcat is slowly damaging his mind, Ladybug’s prime ability, the Miraculous Ladybug (or the Miracle Cure if you prefer), is slowly consuming her energy. The fact that people are constantly asking her for favors as Marinette and she has to save the day as Ladybug is pushing her to her limit. Eventually, she can’t take anymore, and has to renounce the Miraculous Ladybug ability (this essentially restores her energy, but undoes all of the fixed damage from fights; we probably won’t tackle the concept of people dying from akuma attacks because we want to keep this as a kid-friendly show). Marinette then to cope with the guilt from all the damage she won’t fix (the fact that this Tikki is pretty self-righteous, and is constantly berating her for not doing so doesn’t help matters). After coming to terms with this, she’s learns to let others solve the problem sometimes (as the heroes try to limit damage from battles and the city rebuilds on its own), accept support from the people who care about her (notably Chat Noir and her parents), and accept the fact that she shouldn’t be responsible for everyone else’s problems (stops being Chloe’s friend due to her tendency to unfairly rely on Marinette).

Marinette’s long term arc largely revolves around her struggles with friendship and trust. I’ve already mentioned the Chloe and Lila problems, but these two different toxic friendships have two pretty different effects on her. The Chloe friendship she manages to process, and be okay with Chloe’s attempts to improve herself even if Marinette isn’t ready to rebuild that bond. Getting to know Sabrina and watch her and Chloe become friends is also a large part of this growth, especially since Marinette unlocks her new ability, Amulets that ward off akumas, at the end of season 2 after Sabrina’s second akumatization as Miraculer. The Lila friendship however… like I said, it hurts her pretty bad. Having two consecutive “friendship screw ups” makes her doubt herself and others. Since she was friends with Kim, Adrien, and Chat Noir before the Lila mess, those friendships remain stable: as does her friendship with Alya due to her getting to know her during the whole ordeal, but she does have a rough time making new friends. Zoe, a young girl who seems to have good intentions, but is quite dishonest (much like Lila) is the first example of this issue, and the two aren’t able to become friends until Zoe proves that she’s willing to be honest with others. Marinette and Kagami also have a rough start (due to Marinette not being sure what to make of this mysterious, intense girl). Fortunately, they still become good friends and Marinette is finally able to start moving past this fear (basically, the episode where Tomoe gets akumatized is gonna be the equivalent to Sandboy for MTS Adrien in terms of MTS Marinette’s development). (There’s also her slowly befriending most of the class, but those plots are much more self contained.) Either way, Marinette ends the show with a stable group of friends who want support her just as much as she wants to support them.

Conclusion:

That pretty much wraps up my notes on Marinette’s character. If there’s anything about her you’d like to know more about, feel free to send me an ask! (Also @dumblr-account, if there’s something you think I should have included, let me know.)

After this I’ll probably post a poll asking people about what (of three ideas I’m planning on talking about first) they’d like to see next, so stay tuned (if you want to, at least)!

[pauking5]

you know these days I have been ritually coming here everyday to check if the latest chapter of runaway has been released?? Imma wait, cook as much as you like. I am sure it’s already delicious af!

Oh btw what do you think about being Capricorn (sun sign), Pisces (moon sign) and Sagittarius in the rising? these are my main 3 signs..just curious on what you think on it ^_^

And lastly, through all highs and lows you alone are the who keeps going! (Kay it didn’t turn as cool as i hoped it to be, references are gojo’s ‘through heaven and earth I alone am the honored one’ and jimin’s ‘you nice! Keep going!’)

hi dear anon!

oh my, this made a smile appear on my face 🥺 i'm so sorry to keep you waiting so long. i myself kicked my arse for it. but in my defence, i just felt like taking my time with this one. there's no day or night in the past months that i haven't tinkered with it to get it right, and i can happily say it's finally on the final final edit. there's a few stuff i want to work on some more but not too much. also, no one told me i'm cooking before 😏 💅 so thank you sksjsndjjs *flips hair giggling kicking my feet to the moon*

i sure hope it is delicious. she's one big chunky 46k + baby (the most i've ever written god), so i truly hope she's not a bore. i know i asked about the 20k being a lot but yall didn't have an issue with it so have double the bickering and action 🤡 i had thoughts of cutting it open down the middle to make it a two part but i thought i should wrestle with the 1000 block limit some more until it gave me brain damage :). anyways, i am excited as hell for this one because i can prematurely say it's given me ideas for a sequel that kinda i already started working on 😉

now, runaway blabber aside. *flips whiteboard over*

on the astrology side of things, can i just say it's one interesting big three to see. now, this is just my own interpretation of it so take with a grain of salt, or sugar if it fits right. your sun is like your main source of direction, not typically a big area of concern unless the element of the sign manifests in other aspects. your moon is your inner most self, the one that reflects who you most are or your true personality i would say. your rising governs the way you act in regards to things and situations and usually couples with your sun or mars (the depth of your urges), or mercury (the principles and ideas you live by).

a first look at yours and i can tell it's really well balanced.

as a capricorn sun, you're probably a really straight forward person, but coupled with your sag rising i'll bet my cheerios that you're one hell of a planner and have a set way of doing things orderly. it's an earth and fire combo, so where the cap part of you is grounded, the sag part of you might be a little prone to impulsive tendencies.

on your pisces moon, i can already tell you i love you. as a libra, i'm drawn to water aspects a lot and pisces moon is a placement i admire. it gets you out of that monotonous rut of planning and the stress of decision making, acting like your stress reliever and the part of you that likes to unwind through art. you're probably an avid music listener, expressing yourself through making or creating some form of art that lets you be who you want to be in that moment. or you're just a big admirer of it. either way, it's your balancing sign that keeps you tethered to what's important to you first and foremost.

now, your big three is just a few aspects of what makes up the beautiful you an ore of discoveries waiting to be found. your full chart can tell you way more about yourself than just these three aspects. i would advise diving into it and if you happen to find it difficult to dissect, i am always happy to provide help. i have times where i start researching one random placement in mine that i thought less of until it unveils so much i didn't know that resonated with me, putting it in the words i could never find. that and it's really fun and eye opening to read more about yourself from someone else's perspective astrologically. so if you need help, feel free to pop into my dms anytime 🤗

lastly, i love the quote of motivation. truly inspiring if it comes from dear gojo (lord bless his heart). so in true fashion, i'll leave you with one that's helped me through a lot of hard times when i wanted nothing more but to stop.

when you think you can't give it any more, you can put in a little more.

hope you're having a good day or night, keeping healthy, rested and happy ❤️