#seeing that inner part of their life?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
soft concept for ATSV:
its after the events of the movie, things have smoothed out, the teens are for the most part living their best lives, Miguel is working on... it... and getting his relationships with the kids to at least how they were before he decided to try and fight a 15-year-old, things aren't perfect, but its better.
movie night. kids are piled up on the floor, Peter B. and Miguel have somehow been dragged into it (read: peters happy to be there, per usual, and Miguel is more than happy to be involved, even if he would never admit that, not even to himself). the movie's long been over, credits rolling, all the kids are fast asleep, and both of the older spiders know they can't just leave them on the floor.
que Peter and Miguel doing what every tired parent has done after a movie night, carrying their kids to their beds, or in this case, back to their own dimensions.
the tentative "we should get them home" comment from Miguel breaking the quiet that had settled over the group. the near silent argument over who's taking who where between Miguel and Peter. the awkward manner of picking each one up, each of them tall or lanky or otherwise awkward to hold, seeing as none of them are little kids, some are barely even teens anymore.
Miguel having to suck it up and take Hobie cause he's too tall and too much for Peter to manage, complaining even as his heart melts ever so slightly at the peaceful look on the kid's face. Peter taking Gwen so they don't have to portal twice, barely holding back a smile when he watched Miguel soften hopelessly. Miguel offering to take Miles home, looking almost... ashamed for asking, but Peter just gives him the go ahead, and watches as the older spider picked up the much smaller kid like he was nothing, tucking him close to his chest and portaling off to leave him in his bunk, hushing him as he flutters in and out of sleep.
the two tucking them in, peter with much more pep and giddiness, and admittedly, more picture taking, but surprisingly, Miguel being much more tender and careful, making sure blankets were pulled all the way over and pillows were fluffed and that he didn't accidentally wake any of them up. gentle parting goodbyes in the form of tussling hair, double checking windows and doors are locked, and wishing them sweet dreams.
after Peter takes Pavitr home, completing the task of putting the kids where they ought to be, Miguel has to sit through all of Peter's gushing and photos, murmuring something about him looking like a creep with photos of random kids sleeping in his phone, before lurking off to his office to reflect on the night and the ruckus he just went through for kids he was hell-bent on convincing himself he didn't care about. Peter going home to MJ and his daughter, contented and tuckered out, already plotting how to use the photos like crypotnite. Miguel cherishing the memories of the night.
thats it. thats the idea. the mental image is better then the idea on paper, but you get the jist.
inspired by this fic
#probable? eh. maybe#they'd probably (especially in Migeuls case) start dropping them on couches#if there weren't already enough in the lounge/where ever this movie night was happening#But#the mental image of the two portaling these not-so-little kids home#is too good to pass up#so shut up#use your imagination#let me live my life#but think about it#miguel o'hara#Father could potentially be Fathering#in canon anyway#sooooo#I made him Father#and just the mental image of him carrying Hobie's lanky ass back to his apartment?#tucking him in?#doing the same for miles?#trying to hard to be quiet and not wake them?#seeing that inner part of their life?#what blankets/pillows they sleep with or seeing the childhood stuffy they still keep on their beds (tell me they don't. I dare you)?#its perfect#peter b parker#hobie brown#pavitr prabhakar#gwen stacy#miles molares#atsv#across the spiderverse#mostly saw hobie when I was thinking about this
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
#my tmnt art#tmnt leonardo#tmnt bayverse#bayverse leonardo#bayverse leo#Bay!Leo#bayverse tmnt art#one word: a r m s#artist's insight: my favorite part of this piece is his beak and that inner curve of his left arm. I really fell in love with the shadow#a reminder that i change bayverse's shells in my art because i don't like the way they look in the movie.#yes i know that is not how they look in the movie. it is a conscious choice#the first bayverse movie just turned 10 years old recently and wow. w o w. how time flies.#Why did i not watch this in college. What was i doing with my life. didn't i know? didn't i understand?#forget getting good grades i could have been a turtle person in school i dropped the ball.#tbf though i probably wouldn't have survived seeing leo land on that wall in theaters lol#tmnt 2014#TMNT 2016
325 notes
·
View notes
Text
having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!
#i think it's particularly maddening bc we have seen characters be able to understand civillian matt is like. more than just Blind Man.#i am always highly aware of period typical writing and can remember the context etc etc but sometimes.#sometimes it truly. truly does drive me up the wall. especially when other characters have been capable of not being That Level#of infantalizing. again foggy still isn't much better in a lot of respects he is just as capable of and has been as infantilizing#and insulting as karen has been. for sure. on multiple occassions. no questions asked. but i dont think he does it to the extent karen does#as in we dont see it on page just as much. it's just a bit less. so we see karen focus on it far more. to an almost exaggerated extent#part of that is the romance plot of ohhh i cannot possibly love a blind man while foggy is matt;s best friend of many years#so of course it will be in the way of the stan lee and old romance comics schools of writing that this goes down and is written like this.#of course we see her focus on it a touch more in a different way bc she's still getting to know matt and hasnt witnessed him#for about like a decade(? they met in undergrad right?) function on his own the way foggy has. but jesus christ man. good god.#at a certain point even with the period time context it does just still leave a bad taste. at certain points it becomes less eye roll#and far more maddening and hard to push down. bc it is gross. no matter what time period it is.#again. both of them are pretty disrespectful towards matt about it at this point even if mostly in their inner monologues or dialogues#with each other and not super to matt's face about it every time. but still. sometimes karen drives me far more crazy about it than foggy.#becase at least foggy can in fact recognize every now and then. matt is a perfectly capable grown man who can function and thrive.#and is someone who lives independently but also can know how to get assistance when needed.#while karen at this point has never really once given matt the benefit of that assumption despite witnessing his capabilities.#because even with his act of trying to fit the image ppl have of him. he still functions within that! and shows he can do things!#and ask for help when he needs it! even within his act of making himself smaller and quieter for others.#he's still like. adult man who lives his life. and does stuff on his own time.#i cant really speak about matt on any more deeper level than that in regards to his disabilities. i am not disabled.#i only speak as a reader and someone watching what these characters do and have proven to be able to do and how they act.#so i can only talk about karen and foggy's behaviors and attitudes in that regard.#and also as a person with like. basic understanding of other ppl living their lives. that all ppl live their own damn lives however it is#like most ppl on planet earth.#i apologize if any of my wording here is bad or if i dont talk on it well as none of this in the real world stuff is my lived experience#and you are free to go hey. incorrect. think about that or word that differently.#ok i promise im done now it's just. EUGH. UGH!!!!!#static.soundz
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Success! I told someone in real life about one of my fantasy story concepts, and they didn't act like I was crazy!
#maybe she thought i was idk#but she was engaging with it#asking follow-up questions#noting parallels#i think it helped that i pitched it one weird concept at a time#like 'it's just after wwi and this guy's kind of a psychic'#'and then he had to go to war'#'and he's very aware of the fact that everyone he helped to kill was a person with an entire inner life'#'he's staying with his friend and doesn't want to see his family'#'because they're all mind readers too and would know all the stuff he's done'#and once she grasped that part i could bring in the mouse shapeshifter#and she seemed to get the appeal#and i could talk about how i accidentally gave myself emotions about these two#i'm pretty sure she's the first real-life person i've ever mentioned this story to#and the weirder part isn't that i haven't mentioned it after so long#but that i mentioned it at all#because this is one of my most convoluted concepts#so the lack of outward disdain was a nice moment
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyways, moving on from all the chaos happened since yesterday's race, let me show you guys something cute i've made for a month since last month 🤭🤭
#i know few of my mutuals here who also being mutuals in instagram already see pingu with only head and the body (without the inner part)#but yeah today is the due date and finally we managed to complete modelling this two cuties here 🥹🥹🥹#godddd what a childhood memory for me when i did this <3333#iz and her maroon uni life#iz being too random
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
finished pokémon shield :,(
#my life no longer has purpose#time to anger myself to no end in attempts to finish cuphead ig#misc. inner monologue#in other news it did fulfill my childhood love of the games & it was so cool seeing everything in 3D#& my fave part customizing my trainer! she’s so cute ah!#did i spent like 110000 on a leather jacket in game yeah? but it was worth it#pokemon shield
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yesterday I was checking out at the store, and my total came out to 33.30. I acknowledge angel numbers, but I didnt know what that one meant so I looked it up- spot on for my current situation. Such a small sign that brings me a sense of hope.
A message of "luck" or change in focus, or becoming unstuck. "Trust that you know what you need to do for the next step." My "time to expand."
SO. Important. I acknowledge, accept and manifest this energy. 🙏🌱❤️🩹🩷
#seriously#part of my decision to end my long term relationship is because i felt stuck#and because i desired to know what its like to live for myself#to tend to every want and need for myself possible#because i have spent my life never being able to and went straight from being liberated from my neglectful family home into a long term#relationship where i still couldnt just BE me#im not saying they ever said that or insinuated or acted in such a way#but my mental health illnesses and trauma and inner child do not YET know how to fulfill myself while being in a relationship#i havent learned how to blend 'myself' (the person i feel inside) with the person i need to be in a relationship#theyre like 2 separate ppl for me#and i think a healthy person is a WHOLE person who can bring 'themselves' into their relationship as they are#im not there yet and i need this time to heal within and grow and become comfortable and confident in myself#help this troubled inner child#so yeah#seeing that really really means a lot#whether ppl think its silly or not.#i believe in signs#angel numbers#energy#etc#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys are so annoying. why do i have to see discourse every year that's like "was tolkien really a woke king or was he your conservative uncle?" the guy was a devout catholic and a genteel misogynist who maintained lifelong friendships with queer people and women, and this isn't even paradoxical because that was part of the upper-class oxford culture he was immersed in. tolkien told the nazis to fuck off (and in doing so demonstrated a real understanding of what racism is and why it's harmful, beyond simply "these guys are bad news because they're who my country is at war with right now") but his inner life was marked by internalized racism that is deeply and inextricably woven into the art that he made. he foolishly described himself as an anarcho-monarchist, and it's kind of crazy to see people on this website passionately arguing that he likely never meaningfully engaged with anarchist theory, because...yeah, no shit, of course he didn't. tolkien didn't have to engage with most sociopolitical theory because as an upper-class englishman of his position, he was never affected by any of the issues that this theory is concerned with. what is plainly obvious from reading both his fiction and letters is that tolkien's ideal political system was that the divinely ordained god-king would rise up and rule in perfect justice and humility; he didn't want a government, he wanted a king arthur, even though (obviously) he was aware that outcome was impossible. why is it so hard for people to accept that he was just some guy! his letters aren't a code you have to crack. no amount of arguing or tumblr-level analysis is going to one day reveal a rhetorically airtight internally consistent worldview spanning jrrt's fiction, academic work, and personal writings, thereby "solving" the question of whether he was a woke king or your conservative uncle. his ideology was extremely inconsistent because, at the end of the day, he was just some guy.
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
god. no one prepares you for the irritation and anger that comes when assistive devices and medical equipment actually fix your problems.
#okay to reblog#i'm in the midst of a super bad flare exacerbated by my menstrual cycle right now#and like so i'm still feeling symptoms even with the socks on but like that's because my uterus is trying to stage a coup#(ooo i hope i picked the right coup to spell... we'll hope)#like so i still can't eat right now because i'm nauseous just being Upright at all#but before i put the socks on and all day yesterday i was feeling *woozy* about it even just sitting up in bed#i feel SIGNIFICANTLY better this morning so far which means it *is* just a flare and i'm not sick or somehow dying faster than normal#but like. it still feels bad and i cannot believe how long i went through life thinking i was just randomly getting sick for a day#i knew my period took me out i didn't realize how much it was taking me out until i gained some sort of reprieve from my symptoms#and now when i take them off i Notice which makes them feel worse#and it's just like...#okay here's my inner capitalist coming out i'm working on him#but like... how many days of work did i miss how much money did i lose because my blood doesn't come back from my legs right?#how much time how many things have i missed out on because my body is like this and i didn't know it could be fixed by putting on a pair#of compression socks#i will probably have a similar breakdown when i eventually acquire a wheelchair#because i 100% need one i can see this now#and that... feels bad to say but also like relieving?#i was right i was right the whole fucking time#since i was Very Fucking Small#i don't understand why no one else saw these things as a problem until i found my new family#i don't understand why this wasn't concerning to anyone until NOW#and now i'm getting it fixed and i'm so glad i'm getting answers and getting things fixed but like#why did it take so long?#why did i waste half my life doing things the hard way? why couldn't it have been easy?#in order to be able to experience the world i cannot be standing for very long i cannot be forced to walk for long periods of time#i HAVE to be able to sit down for most of it and that is limiting and frustrating and#i am losing control over what i can do with my body and that was the ONE THING i had control over for the hardest parts of my life#it's what got me through the fucking abuse and neglect was that i knew what i could do with my body#and now i'm losing those things and it is *terrifying*
0 notes
Text
.
#personal#i dont really know how to talk about this but i am scared. for myself. not for my system but for me and also for my sys#im primary protector. i am the oldest being in this body by time (not by age). i was one of the first created at the bodys 9month old Thing#ive always had a background almost co-con role. not fully cocon but i contribute to a lot of the blur because im always close enough to#the front to be able to step in as quickly as possible if needed. and to give instructions and warnings to whoevers in front and needing it#the last maybe 2 months? 3? ive taken up a more active hosting role in a cycle with 3 others#im really worried that its been happening so much that its impacting my duties as primary protector. im scared the brain has been#keeping things from me or shutting of knowledge i did have access to to help me adjust to concept of hosting#i cant see the inner as clearly as i could. i know my girlfriends in there somewhere but reaching out only has like a 12% chance of#getting through when ive spent the last 14 years almost living on top of her as she was the old host.#it feels rough and scary. like i know shes in there i think our gatekeep would tell me if she became dormant even if i was full host so i#i have to belive shes alright in there but i do miss her so bad. i want to know shes okay. i want to hold her#im mostly worried about losing more access to information i used to have and diminishing my use in my protector role as a result#i dont want to be a host. i need to feel like i can talk to my guys and gals and pals with the clarity and communication weve spent the last#4 years building. i feel there are more capable than me to replace me and allow me to step back and resume background-host/protector stuff#they are untrained and unfamiliar with our life but theyre not trauma holders. what do they call those? normal parts? dont like that languag#but they dont have the trauma related issues that some olthers/old hosts do and can be trained in the running of the life#we dont work we dont really leave the house due to agoraphobia so we have the time and space to train a new host#idk what to do#idk where this went i guess this is venting you can ignore it#but i guess the solution is to talk to the one cohost i can still talk with and see if they can do some hiring for me#get them to head in and see if the brain will cooperate to bring someone else out to take my host spot soon#or make one but thats not ideal id prefer to avoid that if we can. but i can feel myself reaching my limits for this#somethings gotta give soon either way#system#although we already have 3 other hosts in roster and several alters created specifically for that hanging out inside too so maybe#maybe things wont crumble if i just decide to step back on my own. if i can. harder to step back when i cant access inner but maybe if i can#then we will survive with the 3
1 note
·
View note
Text
JELL-O BRINGING ON THE HURT FOR THE 1 YEAR MOVIE ANNIVERSARY AS EXPECTED 😫😫😭😭
TW // suicidal ideation
BGM - The Inside Out - Cinderella Man
BGM - Unsettling Ambience - Pokémon Ultra Sun/Moon
ACT 1
ACT 2
ACT 3 - 1 <<< 14 / 15 / ???
Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue
@katlyntheartist I hope you like the cameo 👉🏼👈🏼
Happy 1st Year Anniversary of the Mario Bros Movie 😌
#oh BOY there’s a lot to unpack here#first off I like Kamek’s reaction to Luigi’s Thunderhand#he’s like ‘uhhhh that’s actually not a good sign but best not have Sire question it now’ 😂#and WOW you really popped off on the wedding setting#everything looks so good and detailed#King Boo and King Bomb-omb greeting each other is a nice little moment ☺️#ok part of me is like ‘YEAH LUIGI IN THE PEACH DISGUISE LET’S GOOOO’#(and the mask makes him look so goofy and I love it 😂)#but a bigger part of me knows what he’s using this disguise to do and so can’t be too excited#but…GOOD LORD his whole inner monologue hurts to read 😢💔💔#his lack of fear over what will happen takes me back to when he confessed that he’s more scared of living than of dying#and he’s clearly using this decoy mission to end his own life#and I am so DAMN DESPERATE FOR MARIO TO GET HERE BEFORE HE DOES THAT UGHHHHHH 😫😫😰😰#speaking of Mario#that panel of Mario’s hat floating in the ocean is so eerie yet beautiful#and now…the last part…#Luigi having that brief peace of mind thinking KP is safe#…then almost immediately seeing the crown and toolbox…#HOLY S**T that was cruel 😨😨#that’s one more person he thinks is dead now#and one more weight on his already guilt-ridden mind 😰😰#I just got to thinking that he’s likely gonna see PK alive in his cage when they go to sacrifice the prisoners#then he’ll notice the missing foot and probably put the pieces together…#*breathes deeply*#Mario Mario MARIO PLEASE GET HERE AS SOON AS YOU CAN PLEASE 😭😭😰😰#the super mario bros movie#luigi#bowser#kamek#fanart
765 notes
·
View notes
Text
my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do
#if my dad had any brain cells or observational skills whatsoever#he’d realize that in terms of our faith the problem is not the boyfriend. that guy is brilliant and open minded and would probably ace RCIA#the problem is my sister. who is catholic in name but it’s clear to me how hard she’s fallen away from the faith#but like my dad has created such a bitter home environment we never have meaningful conversations with him#so like he doesn’t know *anything* about our inner lives#all he sees is labels. all he judges people by is labels#literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually#and promising to still live according to the principles of the church and raising your children as such#but my parents are absolute fools if they think that’s the issue. if my sister was true in her faith her bf would have converted already#i am sure of it. the guy is smart he just needs to be guided the right way#evidently my parents don’t realize that about him either#if my dad could become a decent parent for once and stop trying to drive his kids away from the faith by only cherrypicking the parts of it#that intersected with republican/conservative boomerisms#ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well#should i blame my dad for all our family problems? no.. not rightfully……#but like. the impact a father has on one’s life cannot be understated#ugh i’ve had the sense for a while that God wants me to be the one to fix this family#because looking around it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna do it#but that’s such a daunting task… especially alone… i don’t have any true friends (ie who share both my faith and life experiences)#and like. it’s really hard to try to assume the role of a teacher or counselor when someone is older than you#or uh. in a position of direct power over you for that matter. esp when clearly deeply mentally ill#the concept of trying to essentially parent my own parent while i myself am miserable and unstable#esp when he is the primary cause of that#just. ughhhhh it’s such a vicious circle#like i’ll do this if i have to i’ll undertake that daunting mission but i have to be so careful and really sort myself out first#or for that matter if i were to volunteer to like. catechize my sister’s boyfriend (heaven knows she couldn’t do it)#i’d have to really study my stuff bc i think the intellect is the only real appeal here#like i said tho his conversion can probably never really happen as long as my sister remains the way she is#what i know is that the first step is fixing myself. i have to be a pillar of virtue if i wanna stand as any sort of authority on the faith#problem is i suck and shouldn’t be regarded as a role model for anything. i have the knowledge down but that alone won’t fix me
1 note
·
View note
Text
#I've been waiting for this one#victim mindset is such a thought terminating cliche that i usually see rich successful ppl use#i invite ppl to think a bit further than that#and to think outside of their own circumstances and developmental niches#inner peace is important but it cant change ur life#ppl in sudan can have inner peace but that wont manifest them out of war#ive just seen so many ppl make it and then think they did ot by manifesting it#you worked hard and opportunities lined up for u and that is incredible#but i dont think u can hack the universe like that#i think if theres a joirney we were meant to go on then we will go on it#but it's ok to believe different things#i just often find it condescending seeing ppl make it and then tell everyone else they're just not doing a good enough job of being positiv#and theyre just not believing hard enough#dont get me wrong#i believe in manifestation#but i think it has its limits#you cant get anything you want imminently in this lifetime even if you work on yourself 24/7#sometimes you have to wait and go through the less desirable motions#sometimes thats maybe your place in the universe in this lifetime#idk#thanks for attending my ted talk#everyone's experience id different#that is the *spice* of life#i also believe in miracles#i believe in being gifted#but everyone is different and we cant do the same shit to get the same shit#imo#✌🏾#for the most part you can change yourself#not your opportunities
0 notes
Text
toji zenin, who has only stayed with the zenin clan because he just can’t give up the sweet pussy of his personal servant—you.
because you don’t adhere to the strict rules given to the servants. and you can’t bring yourself to care about them either.
because why should you wake toji up by parting his window shutters and letting the sun stir him awake, when you could rouse him from sleep with your lips wrapped around his cock instead? you’re sure he prefers waking to the warmth of your throat, delicate eyes looking up at him through your lashes as you take his length to the base.
his hand, even in his half-asleep state, reaching down to push you even further on his cock until he can feel the back of your throat and your nose is tickled by his dark pubes. because there’s no better alarm sound than that of you gagging on his cock as you swallow the load he gifts you.
and how could he bring himself to leave when he has you at his beck and call at all times? all he has to do is shoot you a look from across the room and you’re ducking out to meet him in a quiet corridor or empty room so he can hike up your robes and drop to his knees to return the mornings favour. sure, he’s a selfish man, but he’s greedy and indulgent when it comes to tasting you.
you always try to be quiet when cumming on his tongue but you never succeed, and toji loves it. he loves knowing the assholes in his clan hear it every time he sinks into you, because you’re moaning his name so pretty that any lesser man would cum as soon as you tighten around his pulsing cock. he loves knowing every time you serve him in their presence they’re only imagining the way you serve him with your cunt behind closed doors.
god, he doesn’t even care to close the door half the time. too many times has a clan elder walked in to see you, pressed up against the wall as toji fucks you from behind with fast strokes and drawling groans. and he never stops, never slows down or even bothers to care about an unwelcome audience—because you never care. you serve him, not them, and if worrying about prying eyes takes from your duties—you’d rather take his affections in stride.
because you are his in every aspect of the word. you serve him hand and foot, you take his cock into your mouth each morning, you let him fuck you full of his cum each evening, you turn his scowl into a gentle smile with each kiss you lay upon his lips. your heart is his, and his yours.
and one morning before the sun has risen to find toji in the servants chambers, his lips patched around your clit and two fingers already pumping into you. he plays the servant, and wakes you for once. you cum not once, but twice around his fingers, back arching as pleasure washes you clean. and as he pulls away with a glistening lower half of his face and presses the most gentle kiss to your inner thigh, he whispers something that changes the course of your life entirely.
“let’s get the fuck outta here, whaddya’ think, dollface?”
#toji smut#toji x reader#toji zenin smut#toji fushiguro smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#toji zenin x reader#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji zenin
7K notes
·
View notes