#but before i put the socks on and all day yesterday i was feeling *woozy* about it even just sitting up in bed

[dredshirtroberts]

god. no one prepares you for the irritation and anger that comes when assistive devices and medical equipment actually fix your problems.

[babytaes]

reaction to s/o water breaking | svt- ─ ot13 ˎˊ˗

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧ seungcheol ∘*

You and Seungcheol had just finished the night with a quick drink, and the night was quiet and calm. You with your water and him with his wine.  You never imagined that tonight would be the night that all would change.

Something didn't feel right, as a moan escaped your lips you clutched your stomach. When you jumped to your feet, more liquid poured out from your thighs. You called for your husband as you gasped at the puddle in front of you.

As you realized it was time, Seungcheol awoke quickly and smiled. As you wobbled around the kitchen, processing the journey ahead of you, you dashed to get some slides on.

Before running to get everything else, Seungcheol grabbed the baby bag. As you all hurried to the car, giggling at the thought of the little life that would soon join this world, he shut the door and grabbed your side!

✧ jeonghan ∘*

You got up from the sofa and grabbed a bottle of water to cool down the oncoming heat from your forehead. As you staggered towards the counter, a wave of exhaustion washed over you. As you heard trickling liquid leaving your body, you looked down.

“BABEEEE, I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE."

As he hurried over to you, he ran into the room, worried. You were taken aback by the fear in his eyes, as you had never seen him in this way before.

“All right, you put your shoes on. I'll get the baby bag, and you should hurry to the car. THE BABY IS ON THE WAY!”

You chuckled as you watched him frantically search the house for everything. As you got closer to the car, you turned around to see his disheveled self sprinting towards it, clearly out of breath.

“Love, we have to leave right now.”

As you backed out of the driveway, heading towards the hospital, you strapped yourself in and kissed his hand.

✧ joshua ∘*

As you sipped your lemonade in the backyard at Joshua's parents' home, the atmosphere was very relaxing. His parents have invited the two of you over for dinner and a fun get-together.

You took Joshua's hand and rested your head on his shoulder. When he noticed your odd facial expression, he stared down at you. Your hand flew to your stomach as you examined your pants, as if something had popped inside of you.

Joshua took your hand in his and helped you out of the lawn chair. You and he were both aware of what had occurred. As you tried to catch your breath, Joshua called out to his mother. You weren't expecting your water to break when you weren't at home, so you were caught off guard.

Joshua's mother bolted from the kitchen, alarmed at the state you all were in. As you took her hand and raced you to the car, her maternal instinct kicked in.

“Go get the extra baby bag from my place, Joshua. You never know, so I was ready for anything.”

A tear streamed down your cheek as you clutched his mother's palm, gripping it tighter as the pain increased. She embraced you tightly and kissed your brow.

“Don't worry, sweetie; I'll be by your side until the very end.” You've got this!”

✧ jun ∘* 

As you put the spoon on the stove, Jun walked through the door. He approached you and embraced you, melting into your touch.

“Long day love?”

You kissed his forehead and he nodded before letting go and going to the shower. As you returned your attention to the stove, you heard the water running. When you heard water trickling, you let out a yawn.

He must have left the door open for you to hear it that clearly.  Your foot stepped into a puddle of water without even looking down. Slowly peering down, you noticed that the trickling water wasn't coming from the shower, but from you.

You were in a panic because the due date was next week, not today. You stumbled around the house, looking for your stuff. Jun emerged from the bathroom, towel on, and turned to face you.

“Are you okay, y/n, do you need something."

You had forgotten that Jun was here as you quickly spewed out.

“THE BABY IS ON THE WAY; WE MUST LEAVE RIGHT NOW.”

As he rushed into the room, towel fully off and now rushing for his clothes, he looked at you in surprise.

“I GUESS I'M GOING NAKED.” Jun screamed as you laughed and dashed to the door.

✧ hoshi∘*

“Should we bring the tiger or the adorable tiger onesie with us for our little cub?” You chuckled at his question as you gently pushed him, laughing at his antics.

“Why don't we bring both just in case?” 

He grinned as he stuffed some spare socks, underwear, and hygiene items into the baby bag. You got up to go get some diapers, but you came to a halt in the middle of your tracks. As he gasped, Hoshi looked up from his seat and moved his hand to his mouth.

“IT'S TIME, OUR CUB IS ON THE WAY.”

As he hurried over to your surprised state, he quickly zipped up the bag and threw it around his shoulder, motioning you over to the door, putting light pressure on your back as you slipped on some slides.

You sniffled as you imagined the moment you'd have with your daughter and Soonyoung shortly. As you opened the door, rocking back and forth towards the car, you wiped your tears and heard your enthusiastic husband running after you.

“Please, Love, don't run; we've got time.”

Soonyoung chuckled and motioned you into your seat while holding your hand.

“You have no idea how long I've been looking forward to this moment; our little baby is on the way!”

✧ wonwoo ∘*

“How did your day go, love?” As you slid your dish into the sink, you posed.

As he sat back on the sofa, he looked up from his computer screen. You approached him and placed your hand on his lap. He gently rubbed your shoulder with his hand.

“Well, my members and I were ready for our recent comebacks. We decided to do something special for Carats because it's been a few years.”

“I'm curious as to what Jihoon is up to right now. I'm sure it'll be as fantastic as the others.”

He kissed your temple before returning his gaze to the screen in front of you.

Your hand flew to your stomach as you quickly sat up running towards the bathroom. As you flew into the toilet, water trickled down your leg.

“WONWOO, MY WATER JUST BROKE.”

He yelled back in confusion as he looked around.

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO." 

You chuckled as you exited the bathroom, staring at him in shock.

“We literally just practiced the procedure yesterday."

He sprang to his feet, shaking his finger in the air as he realized what had happened.

"TO THE CAR IT IS!!"

✧ woozi∘*

The amount of time you and your husband spend in his studio was natural.  It was you guys  second home. As he turned on the latest video that Jihoon had made the other day, you chuckled at Bumzu.

“I mean it's getting there.”

“Hey,” Jihoon said.  As he moved Bumzu away from his keyboard, Jihoon turned around and put his hand to his hurting heart

You laughed at them as they started to argue over some cords. You walked over to Jihoon's fridge and grabbed some water before returning to the couch. As you shone your phone light on it, you noticed something wet running down your pants.

The worry in your voice alarmed Jihoon as you spoke out to him.

“I think my water just broke, love.”

He called for Bumzu to get the spare baby bag from the closet as he stopped tapping on his keys and pulled you off the sofa, motioning for you to get to the car.

As he raced you down the hallway to the car, you turned to look at him in wonder.

“You never know, now let's get you to the hospital now.”

✧ minghao ∘*

You walked into the practice room, waving to everyone as they hurried over to give you hugs and smiles.

Mingyu grinned as he looked at you, and Minghao rushed over to your side, concerned.

"When the deadline is again? I'm looking forward to meeting my favorite child.”

Minghao smiled as he pushed him away from you, chuckling. 

“You're referring to our child.” When you glanced over at the other guys doing random stuff, he motioned his finger between the two of you.

Your hand flew to Minghao's shoulder as you grabbed your stomach, the room came to a halt as you looked down to see water dripping from your leg. As you squeezed Minghao's hand for help, he grabbed your belongings while the member rushed around.

“Wait, I apologize for the mess."

As he motioned you guys to the car, Mingyu waved his hand.

“Just get to the hospital and do whatever needs to be done; we'll take care of it.”

You smiled as you ran to the car, waving to everyone!

✧ mingyu ∘*

As you thanked him for the meal, he put your plate down. You didn't always have time to eat as a couple, but you took this opportunity and ran with it, even though your son had other plans.

“While you get the bread out of the oven, let me get some napkins.”

He nodded and walked over to the oven, while you walked over to the pantry to get some napkins. When you looked over to Mingyu, you felt water trickle down your leg before you could reach the dining table.

He panicked as he ran over to you, his eyes widening as he placed his trembling hands on your stomach.

“I guess baby boy wanted to come out tonight.” As you walked over to the door, laughing as you awaited Mingyu, you said.

He hurriedly placed the food in the fridge and took the baby bag from the room before rushing over to the door and locking it, chuckling.

“He chose tonight out of all the days to come. He would undoubtedly follow in his father's footsteps. As you walked toward the car, you laughed at his joke and kissed his hand.

✧ dk ∘*

As you looked at your husband's antics behind the camera, a loud laugh pierced throughout the studio. He was currently discussing his highly anticipated comeback with BooSeokSoon.

You chuckled when you noticed his frequent glares when you looked in his direction. As the due date drew nearer, the love in his heart for you and your daughter grew stronger.

He'd always wanted a little girl, and his wish would be fulfilled in a few days, unless it was today.

You staggered forward, quickly looking down at your trousers, the wetness rising as you motioned over to Seokmin's manager, whispering that your water had broken.

As you called out to Seokmin, she called over the producer and informed him of the situation. With fear in his eyes, he ran over and grabbed you.

“Is everything alright?"

“Well, your wish is about to be fulfilled. She's coming”

As he ran over to tell the boys, his eyes lit up as he embraced you and kissed your cheek. As he drove to the hospital, they all joined you in the car, babbling about various topics.

“Our princess is on her way,” 

✧ seungkwan ∘*

As Seungkwan rubbed your stomach, you ran your fingers through his hair. As he sighed, he had just completed another OST for an upcoming drama and was exhausted.

“I have so much on my plate that some days all I want to do is hang out with you.” Simply take a few deep breaths and spend time in each other's presence. Is it really too much to ask?”

You crossed over to his arms and rested your head on his chest, your hand entwined in his.

“Well, technically, this is your job. And it's not all bad; at the very least, we'll have more time to devote to this little one soon.”

When you inhaled deeply, he grinned and laid his head on your head. As you quickly stood up and rubbed your stomach, a cough escaped your throat. Seungkwan became aware of your erratic motions and fixed his gaze on the wet spot forming on your jeans.

“Hun, I believe we should go to the hospital.”

As you staggered back from the oncoming motion, you were engulfed in an embrace. He snatched your hand and raced out of the room, thanking the managers as he went.

“Do you think we'll have time for an Iced Americano?”  You chuckled as you turned and smacked his arm.

“No, we don't have the time,” you said, rolling your eyes. You and your obsession.”

✧ vernon ∘*

As Hansol turned on the movie, you sat on the rug, resting your head on his leg. Hansol pressed play on the movie, while the other members and their girlfriends/wives rushed over to the living room and secured their place. As you looked at the scene in front of you, he rubbed your head.

When you saw your favorite actor on tv, a huge grin appeared on your face. Mr. Song Joong-Ki crawled out of the shadows, his pistol aimed at the intruders.

Hansol was shaking his head at your love interest, knowing that you had a huge crush on him. You stared up at him. He said to himself, "He's just an actor."

You slowly rose to your feet and excused yourself to use the restroom. You walked in and drew your pants down, but before you could sit down, liquid poured from your core as you examined the puddle underneath you.

You yanked your pants up and dashed out of the restroom, sprinting into the crowd.

“I apologize for interrupting, but my water broke and we need to get moving before it gets worse.”

As hoots of congratulations were yelled out, there were mixed emotions flowing through the room. As you waved goodbye to everyone, Hansol arrived with the baby bag and all of your belongings.

Hansol kissed your hand and laughed.

“I guess Mr. Vincenzo will have to wait,” 

✧ dino ∘*

You removed it from his grip as you pushed the paintbrush around on Chan's canvas.

“You must do it in this manner, in a circular motion, okay?”

As he whispered into your ear, he smiled and kissed you closer.

“Oh, I can do better than circular motions,” When you lightly shoved him back to his canvas, he kissed your forehead.

“Focus Chan,” 

He chuckled and looked around for more colors, seeing a puddle by your leg on the ground.

“Hey, did you drop your water cup? There's a puddle by your leg. As you jumped to your feet, he pointed to the ground, and you looked down at your soaked shorts.

“It wasn't the paint cup that dropped, it was my water.” We need to get to the hospital now!"

As you wobbled towards the car laughing, he dashed into the room, gathered the supplies, and dashed out the door.

“Imagine if you hadn't noticed, we'd be expecting a baby boy at the house right now.”

As you held onto his side, he shuddered at the thought and started the car.

“Let's focus now, because we all know that would have been disastrous.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

➳ Navigate to the Maze

𝚊/𝚗: who else is obsessed with Vincenzo or is it just me. I had to get this done before I watched the newest episode!! Also Seventeen as DADSS, my heart can’t take it- BT

[kor-knight]

Darkness Prevails ch 6

Love is a beautiful thing.

Its the smile on her face when he makes a joke, or the feel of her arms around him. The look in her eye when they’re sitting in the booth at Pops. The same vanilla scent that seemed to symbolize her.

But, love can also be a dangerous thing.

It can pull people apart, or make others attack in the declaration of it. It can be hiding the truth from the one you love for fear of hurting them.

Or it can be the girl you’re in love with asking you an impossible question.

“No.” Jughead didn’t register his mouth opening, or even trying to talk. But his voice rang out, alarm bells ringing.

Through the tears, Betty’s face morphed into that of confusion. “Why not?” was all she asked, pulling out of his arms.

Scoffing, Jughead reached forward, cupping her face. “I just got you back Betts. Please don’t make me lose you again. Please”

Choking on a sob, Betty closed her eyes, nodding. “It’s so hard though Juggie… The rumors, the names, the touching-”

“Touching?” He cut her off.

“It’s just so hard, I can’t deal with it.”

“You are so much stronger than the white noise. And if you’re crazy? So what? I am too.” She smiles through the tears, sniffling. “Don’t give up Betty, please. “He pulls her forward, placing a kiss so full of emotion on her quivering lips. Trying to convey the thoughts he can’t quite express in words.

And it must’ve conveyed something, because even as her body still shook from the assault of her emotions, she smiled nonetheless at the boy in front of her. Whose eyes so full of life and love, protectiveness and respect. Most of that directed at her.

“I don’t deserve you Juggie..”

“Don’t do that. You deserve the world Elizabeth Cooper, but I will try my best to give you even the smallest piece.” Placing a gentle kiss on her temple, Jughead pulled her close. “I know I’m not a white knight in shining armor, more so a black knight in leather?” He wiggled his eyebrows, causing Betty to giggle. “But maybe I can lend you my shield – if you would have it?”

Pulling away slightly, Betty’s confusion evident on her pristine features. Smirking, he yanks his serpent jacket off his shoulders, and reaches for her hand. Slowly, careful of her fresh wounds, he pulls the cool leather over her arms. Securing the jacket around her shoulders, he pulls it snug and places a kiss on her nose.

Pushing invisible dust off her shoulder, Jughead just smiles. “There. Now you have my shield. May it bring you peace and comfort.”

Betty just smiled, nodding a thank you.

Cleaning up her office quickly, they head out to Pops, ordered takeout, and spent the rest of the evening at his trailer watching Netflix. After the 4th episode of Criminal Minds finished, Betty stifled a yawn and cuddled closer to Jughead, nuzzling her face into his neck.

Sighing, he traces small circles on her shoulder. “I wish I could protect you Betts. I’m sorry I live on this side of the tracks.” Betty just stayed silent, breathing calm, the telltale sign she was out cold. He gazed at her sleeping figure, eyes trailing the curve of her hip.

A different kind of hunger coursed through his veins as his eyes trailed over the exposed skin of the angel beneath him. His mind wandered to places his hands have yet to discover. The valley between her breasts, the soft skin of her hips, the sensitive center he longed to delve into. His heart raced at the thoughts, of the idea that this beauty was his to touch.

He was the luckiest guy on the planet.

No, in the entire universe.

His mind wandered to all things Betty as he laid his head back and shut his eyes.

He awoke again, the trailer dark. Stiff and sore from the unnatural position, he groaned. Fishing out his phone, he hissed at the blinding light assault on his still sleepy eyes. Taking a second to adjust, he looks over at it again.

3:34am

“Shit!”

Jughead jumped up, woozy for a second before switching on the light. A groan surfaced from beneath a blanket, signaling Betty wasn’t too pleased at the rude awakening.

“Betts” he leaned down, shaking her gently. “Betty you need to wake up. It’s 3am. Your mom is going to kill me. Then you. Then me again.” He laughed nervously, but she still didn’t budge.

“I don’t want to be there. Can I please stay with you tonight?” Her voice was quiet, thick with sleepiness.

“What about your mom Betty?” Jughead was trying to convince himself otherwise, fully on board with the idea of her staying.

“She doesn’t care. I’ll just say I was at Ronnie’s.” She cuddled up in the blanket again, smiling tiredly up at him.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Betty Cooper.” He laughs, placing his arms under her legs and on her back, picking her up bridal style and heading to the bedroom. Setting her down on the mattress, he shed his beanie, jacket and jeans.

Before sliding in beside her, he asks, “Are you content with sleeping in that?” He looks pointedly at her hoodie, jeans and socks still on. She bites her lip, and unbuttons her pants.

“W-What are you doing?” He felt his face heat up, looking away quickly. Then her hand was entwined with his, and he was getting dragged down to the bed.

“You’re pretty nervous for someone who took my virginity Juggie.” She cooed, moving his arm to snuggle in close to him.

“It was quick, and you don’t even remember it. So we could say it doesn’t – what are you doing with your legs?” He could feel her silky legs rubbing up and down his, heating them up.

Her laugh filled the small room. He failed to reciprocate it, only letting out a breathy wheeze. His face reddened, eyes lowering to her collar bone. Placing a gentle kiss there, he heard Betty gasp. Encouraged, he placed another just south of the previous, eliciting another gasp to escape her lips. Shifting to lay above her, putting weight on his elbows, he traveled further down, each kiss bringing new and exciting sounds from the goddess below.

Smirking, and with newfound confidence, Jughead nipped and sucks on the sensitive skin between her delicious mounds. Betty all but screams at the contact, tangling her fingers in his messy curls. Her breathes shallow, legs squeezed together, she was squirming below him so much, you’d have thought he was tickling her.

He sucked a little harder, before she forcefully pulls his hair till his face lined up with hers, smothering him with a kiss.

“Please Juggie...” Her hooded, desire over every one of her perfect features. Jughead just smiled, kissed her soft lips and complied.

When Betty awoke the following morning, stiff and sore, sitting up she recalled the events of last night and smiled. Welcoming the tension in her muscles, she stretched and got out of bed. After putting on Jughead’s discarded flannel, and her jeans, she rushed to the tiny bathroom to make herself slightly presentable.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she head out to the main room; in search of her beloved. As she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she spotted him perched on the tiny table. Feet up on the chair, laptop balancing on his knees, his back facing her. Circling around the counter, Betty reached out and covered his eyes.

“Guess who?” She bite her lip to keep from giggling.

“Gee, I don’t know.” Discarding the laptop and spinning abruptly, he wraps his arms around her waist, “My gorgeous girlfriend? Or should I say benevolent housemistress?” Wiggling his eyebrow, Betty just laughed at his remark

“I’d like to officially point out that this-” she throws her arms up, twirling around “-is a trailer, not a house.”

“Fine fine grammar nerd. Benevolent Trailermistress. Better?” She nodded her approval before wrapping her around his neck, kissing him.

Jughead’s hands rub her lower back, then shift to her ass, squeezing gently. A gasp emits from her, and he takes advantage, exploring her mouth with his tongue. She deepens the kiss more by tangling her fingers in his hair, tilting her head slightly.

They break apart a few minutes later, out of breath and disheveled. “If you keep that up Betts, you won’t make it to school on time.” He’s still panting.

Betty just shrugs. “Maybe I won’t go. Not like anybody will miss me there.” She untangles her limbs, and heads over to the couch.

“Betty.” His voice isn’t demanding, just laced with concern. He plops down beside her, pulling her in to his chest. “Remember what I told you yesterday? I gave you my shield. Use it.”

She looks up at him, a small smile on her lips. “Do you think I’d be allowed in the school with it on?”

“Only one way to find out.” He challenges, standing up and pulling her with him. He reaches down quickly, and places the cool leather in her hands. “You might want to wear your own clothes though. People might talk...” He looked pointedly at his shirt hanging on her shoulders, smirking.

“Let ‘em talk.” She giggled, before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him again.

They arrive at Riverdale High within the hour, both dressed- Betty still wearing Jughead’s shirt though- and ready for the day.

Before she gets out of his dads truck, she turns to give him a kiss goodbye.

“Remember what I said baby, if anyone gives you trouble. Call me.” He winked at her, and watched her walk up the steps into the school.

“God she is sexy.”

[myfuckofffundjourney]

Money Diary, Week #3

Thursday Jan 18

Wake up, bus to the shuk - 5.9 nis. Grab a coffee and I don’t even want it. 11 nis. So weird. Maybe it’s because I’m already running late and feeling anxious about time. I drink half and then grab groceries for the client I’m cooking for, all of which I’ll get reimbursed for so I won’t list them. I also cab to their place - billing them as well. Nobody got time to haul groceries on a bus #lazy.

After cooking for 6 hrs (hey guess who just made +1200nis!!) I pack a meal from what I made (chicken, potatoes, and an Asian pear, and it’s all fucking delicious, and free, and I even had a container because of yesterdays lunch that I took to school, score!) and bus to the central bus station. 5.9 I’m feeling a bit woozy so grab soda water to calm my stomach. 7 nis. I decide to finally buy a pair of Blundstones, a decision I’ve thought about for literally like five years. I see a pair that I like that are on sale for 350 and I grab them. Also add 50 nis to Rav Kav. The boots feel great in the store and for the dash to the bus, but as soon as I’m off the bus and walking to class, they start to kill! I’m worried I got the wrong size, even though the next half size up is way too big on me. I take them off in middle of class to make sure I don’t fuck them up too badly. Finish class, head home, make toast with peanut butter and hang out with Josh.

Friday Jan 19

Wake up and peel myself out of bed to grab some random groceries - I have no coffee in the house, and really feel like having eggs for breakfast. At the grocery store, I also find an avocado thats not hard as a rock (fun fact: apparently there were no deliveries of avocados to Israel for a week and so the price doubled, and none of them are ready yet. I don’t care that the price is doubled - it’s only like 6 shekel anyway and i’ve been wanting an avocado all week.) I get eggs, an avocado, and laundry detergent - 28 nis. There is a massive bag of Tide for 60 shekel (8 kg) and I think I might get it because it smells so nice and is cheaper per kilo than anything in the store and will last for like, half a year or something. And in two weeks I’ll even have a HOUSE to store it in!!!

I stop at my favorite coffee grinder guy and pick up 100g of coffee for 6 nis and think back to when I was living in Florentine and I could find the same amount for at a minimum 10 nis, usually more. Thank you, Jaffa gods, for making prices reasonable.  This usually can last for almost a week, but it’s exam season and I’m going to be mainlining coffee.

When i get home, I make a good breakfast (toast, eggs, salad, coffee) and THEN I CAN DO MY LAUNDRY! FOR FREE!!!! I’m so effing excited, it’s been literally four months without a washing machine at my disposal. I’ll probably need to throw some things in the dryer at the laundromat because its going to be a fucking COLD weekend and I have no clean socks and stuff, but still!

Anyway, I’m at my next conundrum, which is the fact that it’s now sale season and there are so many things I want/need. In the wants column, we’ll just put new clothes. I’m v bored of that I have and would love some new additions. In the needs column, we’ll put shoes - this is a biggie, I hate buying shoes and spending money on them - house items (coffee table, bed, closet, curtains, oven), a new phone (this one is pissing me off with its jerkiness and general crappy demanour. I could probably get it to work well if I do a factory reset but the screen is also cracked and replacing it will cost at least 400 nis. I’d rather get a new/secondhand phone.) Anyway, IKEA is having a sale, all the clothing stores are having massive sales, and I’m not sure what to do. These are more investment type items, but it’s still hard to justify spending the money. And then the fact that Uri and Jordana are getting married soon - I’ll actually make a bit of money from catering his aufruf kiddush/her shabbat kallah dinner, but not a ton.

I FINALLY get a message that I’m getting paid for an event I did like, three weeks ago - that’s another +1,630. YESSSS. That plus an extra +500 for shabbat will be so helpful for the move.

Run out to throw some things in the dryer - I just collect random shekels and don’t actually keep track, but i think it’s around 8 nis. While waiting for my stuff to dry, I get some binders, highlighters, little page markers, and also use the stores hole-puncher to hole-punch LITERALLY like 500 pages of notes. Don’t have to buy a hole-puncher though! It’s still 33 nis. Ugh.

I end up heading to Jerusalem kinda stupidly late, and end up taking a taxi to the bus station with Josh, but he covers it because he owes me money for groceries. The sherut is 35 nis - ugh. I’ve left my purse at home so Josh lends me a 50 that he also says to use toward groceries.

Saturday Jan 20

I work for WAY longer than I would have wanted to, and it really isn’t very much money, and I really needed the time to study, but on the other hand, it was pretty easy and it was 500 nis. So, balances out. After Shabbat is out I head to Jerusalem - 5.9 for the train, and 16 nis for the bus. When I get to Tel Aviv, the bus to my house is a friggin half hour away so I have to walk home, which is a massive waste of time. Really need to sit and calculate how much that half hour was worth to me, because I’m SOOOO behind on my studying, but can I just stay up a half hour later? Does life even work that way?

I make a peanut butter and banana wrap. Wraps are THE BEST thing to have around but I never buy them because I feel like they’re expensive? But a friend left these at my house and they’ve been the base of many a quick happy dinner, so maybe I’ll keep them around. Also come up with a plan to market myself as a meal-prep delivery service for people who can’t cook at home... i wonder if I’d ever actually execute that.

Sunday January 21

Basically spend all day inside studying/making food/cleaning/doing laundry. All of these are relatively money-less endeavours! On my way to school I do grab some fruit because I have none in the house. 9 nis

A friend coming from New York places an order on amazon for me for bamboo toothbrushes and charcoal exfoliating gloves - those guys are the shit and I hate throwing out plastic toothbrushes. They last quite a while and it only comes out to 70 shek - I’ll pay him when I see him.

Monday January 22

I meet Kim at the shuk for a grocery shop. It doesn’t really feel so smart to do the shop before my CSA gets in. I need to recalibrate my weeks so that I can do it on Tuesday morning and not be starving. Anyway, I get:

Parmesan and goat cheese - 24.6

Oatmeal, wild rice, and raisins - 20

Salmon - the guy cuts me way more than I asked for and I tell him off. I asked for 300 grams for a reason, mister, not for 350 grams. I’m turning into an asshole lol. 33 nis

Avocado, sweet potato, zucchini, chilis - 18 nis

Clementines, potatoes, cherry tomatoes, and an impulse buy dragon fruit - 34 nis

Green onion - 5 nis

On the way home, I still can use my transfer on my Rav Kav. Hell yes. Now I just need to stock up on things like more coffee, wraps, and one or two other things, but between this and the CSA I should be good for the week.

At home i make a big pot of rice, roasted veggies, two sauces (one using up cilantro that was going bad and yogurt I didn’t feel like eating), salmon, and sauteed greens from last weeks CSA. Now I have food options! And I only need to finish my celery and romaine lettuce from the CSA. Don’t know what to do with it though. Hmm.

Buttttt ugh I get an email from the school. I owe tuition, I think it’s loan time. I’m thinking of asking them if I can consolidate the debt, and when I do a huge work event I can throw a few thousand shekel at tuition. PAYING FOR SCHOOL IS SUCH A BITCH. But at least the loan system here doesn’t blow. I also get an email about a grant. GRANT I NEED YOU GET IN MY WALLET.

CSA box comes with some dope looking ingredients. I’ll have to cook wisely this week so nothing gets wasted though - my fridge is already FULL of food. What a nice feeling :).

Tuesday January 23

I wake up late, ugh. Go grab coffee - this time i get double what I got last week - rice milk, and cashews, to maybe turn into butter. It comes out to way more than i anticipated - 44 nis. Eek.Still though, haven’t eaten out once this week except for one coffee and one bottle of water, so I’m feeling good! Then I feel terrible when i think about tuition and moving. Gah! Cashew butter tastes amazing though, so there’s that!

Finally get an answer to an insurance claim I filed (and won) months ago! They had sent me a cheque (srsly who does that) which I never received, so they are going to cancel it, and wire me the funds. It’s around $350 - just wish I’d done this before the dollar crashed so hard. Oh well. Still free-ish money!

Buy an eclair. I need some comfort sweets. Interestingly, I don’t think I’ve had anything with overt amounts of processed sugar in a few days - since Saturday, I guess. I’ve had honey in my tea and stuff, but that’s it. I wonder if I’ll feel anything? It’s only mediocre but I needed to get out and interact with a human who is not Josh/the dog. 10 nis.

Wednesday January 24

I have to print some notes for this exam that i am definitely in no way passing (hi moed bet!) It’s way more expensive than it would be at school. Damn. 12.5

Total: 770.7 - minus shoes - 420.7

School/misc- 403 (includes a 350 nis pair of shoes that are too small and that I will try to return)

Groceries- 221

Eating out- 28

Transportation - 118.7

Money earned: 500, 1620

The takeaway from this week is: School is effing expensive, and I spent freely on groceries to not be tempted to eat out which worked (slash my extreme isolation/studying helps too) but I also bought a lot of “nice things” that I don’t need. On the other hand, I’ll have lots of food stored for the next week or two. Wins all around, I think. Would be nice to get most of my weeks spending to look like this (minus the shoes) - I could be down with spending only 400 nis a week.

[farafootbushcraft]

Saturday 29th pm

Have taken the ferry over to Camusnagaul on the other side of the loch and set up bivi quickly on steep hillside (just before rain again!). It is EXTREMELY lush up here. There’s a funny smell, which I suspect is the sheer number of growing things and peat – ‘Primordial Bivi’ – and it’s so wet that I’ve made a bed of bracken to protect self/gear from seepage from below. I have a view of Ben Nevis (in snow) from here and the bay with yachts, which sounds lovely but also the noises from the town too. Have gulls which I always like (childhood associations with seaside).

Primordial Bivi – west side of Loch Linnhe opposite Fort William

MUST FORAGE TOMORROW SINCE OUT OF GREENS AND ROOTS. Should be okay. I have 6 days to do about 40 miles (easy, but some steep ascents and tide allowances at Sourlies). Would like to do the 27km/17m to Glenfinnan tomorrow, but that might not leave enough time to forage.

Loch Linnhe and the opening bars of The Entertainer

  Just had dinner and all the way through ‘The Entertainer’ has been playing (just the first few phrases) on what sounds like an ice cream van. Trying to be annoying?

Not sure what I think about my Expedition. Too easy? I only have 2 portions of pemmy left and as good as nothing besides (1 prune and 3 nuts each day – same as the past week in fact). Only the sauerkraut liquid is left – but very precious nutrition. With some foraging it will get me there. I’d like to do it in 3 days or I won’t have any pemmy left, although 4 days would be okay since 3 nights only – just so long as I get to Inverie in time for food.

Knoydart with only 12 hazelnuts, 3 prunes, 2 pemmican portions and sauerkraut juice

Nighttime

It’s quite warm tonight. About 3am now. I’ve been watching the array of lights in Fort William. The revelries went on late – to 12.30/1ish. I think maybe a party boat. The birds seem to sing all night. Wildlife has really come in abundance over the last few days: 2 red deer yesterday early morning as I left camp – we just stared at each other for ages before they gently stalked away. The seal in the loch. Frogs and toads. Then there’s the mouse I have for company that I can hear as I write.

I go to bed so early (as soon as cleared up stove and pots) maybe 6pm if very cold, that being awake early in the morning is just a pleasure. It’s nice to lay down with nothing to do. Feeling quite excited now and think less anxious about the days ahead. The whole journey has been full of emotional surges that keep me hopeful – a series of new landmarks that signify the next leg of the route and new territory. For the first time, though, in my expedition(s) I cannot recall the bivis in sequence and retrace them all. There’s just too much to take in.

Evening Routine

EVENING ROUTINE:

Find and tidy site Set up tarp/basha Get gear under tarp Arrange cooking pots Arrange bed roll change into duvet jacket and hat Take off boots Put on waterproof over trousers and down booties Prep food (chopping etc) Prep ground for stove, preferably on rocks. Light stove and get to heat Fry pemmy KEEP FEEDING STOVE WITH WOOD Put larger pot on with water, leaves, roots and bring to boil Mix in the pemmy Eat Tidy pots and cooled stove Use hot rocks for drying boots and warming sleeping bag Have a pee Take off lower clothes and put into pillow Get legs into sleeping bag. Put duvet jacket in pillow. Lie down Have whisky Write diary SLEEP

Sunday 30th pm

What a bitch of a day. This morning was alright (in fact started quite nice) walking along the Camusnagaul road. I managed to forage a lot of greens, including nettles, which I particularly wanted. Then it occurred to me to collect seaweed. Filled a water bladder with it. Brown weed like kelp. Then the road (an ‘A’ road with passing places!) became very tedious and cars give no quarter here. They like speed. I suppose to go anywhere they have to go a long way. Got tired of flinging myself into hedges. They seem to like their cars – all v. expensive new 4x4s. Did stop to sit down on side of Loch Eil in the wind – quite relaxing but exposed.

Foraged Greens

Then the Mallaig road was HORRIBLE. Couldn’t see another good way round to Glenfinnan but thought it was a shortish stretch. 5 miles of HELL. Someone stopped and asked me if wanted a lift, which was a nice gesture but disquieting.

When I finally got to Glenfinnan all changed. Tourist area intermingled with backpackers/walkers. Alistair (Ranger) drove past and stopped for a chat to ask me where I was headed. He was so welcoming. Stressed that camping anywhere not a problem. Made me feel quite well looked after and cosy. Brought me back down to earth after getting worked up about the route. Hot and cold and WINDY and looking like rain (then not) all day again. Have become (made myself become) quite accepting about stop-starts for weather.

Washed my seaweed in Finnan. Also, this am had quite a lucky find. A flower pot (long/deep kind) with a dead tree in it beside the loch. Thistle had taken over. Root all the way to the bottom – all I had to do was tease the compost off the root. Washed in Finnan too.

Set up bivi in forest in a dish made from an old wall (Wallpit Bivi)- but STILL the wind has got up and is rattling through. NEVER GET SHELTER FROM THE WIND.

Wall Pit Bivy in Glenfinnan

Monday 1st May.

5.30am. Really excellent night. Low sound of burn tumbling down the hillside by my bivi. Sharp gusts of wind between complete stillness. Cuckoos singing – in fact in the whole of the highlands it’s the cuckoos and gulls that I’ve heard the most of. This is another mossy, tussocky forest, so I was worried about water into my bed, but has stayed nice and dry. Last night for dinner I boiled some seaweed, nettles, thistle root, a few sharper greens and small amount of pemmican fat. VERY FILLING. I’ll get there on this ration. Threw away half the bladder of raw seaweed since quite heavy and I’d completely overdone it with quantity. It doesn’t seem to boil down to nothing as I’d thought it might.

Knoydart living on seaweed

Thinking of how to take the rest of the journey – slower or faster. Now I have food I can last another 2 days easily, and I’m early for my lift out. Also, 2 more nights means more options for decent bivis and arriving in Inverie at time of day when I can sort myself out. On the other hand, if I have the strength and time to get in to Sourlies tomorrow then I will probably take the option just because it feels wrong to dawdle after all the effort I’ve already put in. I was quite woozy yesterday (lack of food I think) so I still need to be careful not to lose condition too much – not just rely on the fact I have seaweed now. I think I’ll make the decisions as I go.

Not much body fat left to draw on!

Lunchtime.

9 miles down and 18 to go! Reached Strathan – not a moment too soon. Sunshine is gorgeous but headwind serious all the way from Glenfinnan, and after the tremendous pull over the top of the watershed a bog yomp all the way down. Let’s see now. Fell by: slipping once and getting soaked, lost leg in bog up to knee and soaking trouser again, slipped on rock in river when crossing and soaked other trouser leg and sustained cuts/abrasions (bleeding). A bit of a route finding issue and doubled-back from a hairy line round a waterfall. Mainly exhausted from the yomp. The scenery is very primal.

A view down Gleann Cuirnean on the way to Strathan and Glen Dessary

Not surprised, I suppose, to see a few people camping but I immediately thought “how lazy”! When I reflect I don’t see why others should all be on a time/distance push like me. Why not just get to the top and camp a few days? Think I might take 3 days over this final stretch to Inverie, just to retain my senses. I don’t think I could do another entire afternoon of this after this morning. Having to snack on tiny morsels of pemmy just to have the energy for it.

From Glenfinnan the trail leads you into a false sense of security. It starts on a metalled road on the flat, then rises up and soon going up very steeply (becomes good rubble track). The wind whips over the col into your face and body. When you come over the top it’s a great relief at first till you realise it’s bog all the way to Strathan. Falls inevitable, route issues inevitable.

Gleann Cuirnean

IT DOES FEEL QUITE RUGGED NOW – NOT TOO EASY!

Going through the Dessary forest for the route onwards is swampy at first – reminds me of Wark Forest, Northumberland.

It’s 3pm and my camp is set (May Day Bivi). I’ve decided that 3 days at 9m/day best thing, since that way I can get to Sourlies Bothy at a good time in case I want to use it, and on Weds I can get to Inverie with enough time to eat and sort out where to sleep.

This afternoon turned REALLY hot. Was relieved to find Dessary Forest track since I thought it was going to stay swampy. My boots kept sinking in as well as the poles, and just when I needed a pole for support it would be sinking further and stuck. VILE. I’ve now got my boots and socks hanging in the sun to dry, though they never do except by sleeping on them. Trousers dry now though, if still muddy. I should have worn my gaiters (which I made specially) but was lulled by the road in and then too absorbed in yomping, and anyway legs already soaked.

May Day Bivi in Dessary Forest

My plan is to have early dinner with seaweed and nettle and a bit of pemmy fat.

later

Now had dinner. Seaweed didn’t cook down as much as I’d wanted. Found out late in the day that adding a splash of sauerkraut juice adds some flavour (salt). Put hot rocks from under stove in boots to try and dry them. Have a trickling stream next to my bivi in Dessary Forest (May Day Bivi) – very soothing and handy.

Tuesday 2nd May. am.

Having a later morning. Woke at 4.30ish and dozed till 5.00. Getting up now at 6.00 (almost 12 hours in bed!). Have been sleeping really well, which I think has a lot to do with how well I’m feeling (apart from hunger, now allayed a lot with seaweed). Had quite a lumpy night with uneven, stony ground which I did my best to relieve with bits of kit, but still a bit awkward. I FIND THAT ALL THE TIME, EVEN LYING AWAKE, I HAVE THE LITTLE RHYTHM THAT GOES THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN I WALK STILL GOING ON.

Its all going on in the head!! The Rhythm, the Rhythm…

I don’t have the excitement for getting to Inverie that I’ve felt earlier in the expedition. Not sure why, since it’s getting so close. I know I have 2 passes to cross with a lot of tough ascent – but it’s pain that will pass (fairly) quickly. Tonight might be my last bivi night.

I’m thinking how to eke out food. Plenty of seaweed and greens but no pemmy to speak of – one small piece – essentially for 2 days’ work. I need to use 2/3rds of it today and save 1/3rd for my walk into Inverie. Better portion it up. If sauerkraut juice runs out I’ll need for the first time to mix a dioralyte from the med kit to keep safe tomorrow given the heat.

Tuesday pm.

Morning was an awful boggy pull (slow and sustained) away from Dessary forest (seemed to go on forever). I had a spell of hopelessness – worry about lack of food and no energy at all to carry on. Had a sit down and small nibble of pemmy fat eventually, and that together with opening views seemed to change my spirits. Decided to take regular breaks and remind myself that I had all day for 9 miles if I wanted it. A deer was lain down as I approached large boulders and only saw me late on. I followed it around boulder, where it stood with another above me. Taking time out to watch them and take pictures lifted my spirits. Took some more deep plunges into bogs – downheartening. When terrain flattened I felt instantly stronger and began really enjoying the day. The Rock is monumental, and so crystalline and full of shiny minerals that it grips the feet well and sparkles in the light. Magical. Sun got VERY strong – really hot – to the point that I tucked away my primaloft! Could feel my nose burning, blisters forming, but no sunblock (in bin at Galashiels!).

Really hot, but no sunblock, had thrown that away in the Scottish Borders

Deer watch me watching them

After the watershed things got very much better – more rock than peat and moss underfoot. Beautiful tarn/loch on the prow with nice picky scramble through the funnel where it emerged as a waterfall down towards Loch Nevis. MUCH easier descent than the one to Strachan. Much craggier. The only nasty bit was on the flat towards the Sourlies Bothy. Marsh.

My picky scramble through the ‘funnel’

IDYLL – Bothy in the sunshine by the sea.

There’s a lot of leafy foraging around the Bothy, and I collected a variety of different seaweeds for dinner as well. Made soup up for tomorrow at same time. Now feel much happier that stomach is provided for and I’ll have the energy to make it. Have to leave early so the tide will be full out (6am should be okay according to man I met sunbathing outside his tent in vicinity) – so I can walk around the bay and up to the river crossing.

Sourlies Bothy, Knoydart

When I entered the Bothy 2 bunks taken with kit lain out – occupants arrived later having been walking locally. Seems like a popular place to use as a base – NOT SURPRISING. Good guys, good chats.

Sourlies Bothy

Sourlies Bothy inside

Outside the Bothy there are heaps of large muscle shells and a big fire pit. Couldn’t forage any – shame. Still, my soup had much more flavour today and I feel restored.

Seaweed soup – cooked between the knees, hardcore!

The guys are packing now waiting for tide-out since they plan to walk to Inverie tonight. Don’t think I would, but I’m bushed anyhow. Another couple arrived, saw occupants of Bothy and left to set up camp quite a distance away! So looks as though maybe only me here tonight. That would be good so I can sleep early and leave early without disturbing anyone.

nighttime

Was just settling down and noises began outside. Thought it must be someone coming down to Bothy but no sign of anyone. Then started again so thought birds on the roof or rats – that maybe someone had left rubbish outside and attracted them. But the noise got quite loud. Went outside and saw herd of deer – maybe them?? Gets more idyllic every moment!

A lot of deer outside Sourlies Bothy

Finding being in Bothy quite nice. Not nearly so exhausting as when I have to do the evening routine as well as scouting out a bivi. It’s easy living! This Bothy is also clean and dry – I suppose easier in the sea air on the beachside than on the eternally wet helm wind of Cross Fell, Cumbria. I’m hoping the climb out of here tomorrow will be on the nice dry rock rather than peat and moss bogs.

Finding it hard to know how I feel at this stage. Was expecting to feel quite emotional at the end but I don’t think I will. I think that moment came earlier – at points when I realised how far I’d come and what was left to do – especially when I thought that I might just succeed. I tried so hard to make sure that I wouldn’t be defeated by the mileage in this last week that I’ve made things (relatively) easy for myself. That said, today I wanted to give up on the climb up from the forest. I think I might be too exhausted perhaps to connect with the Expedition as a whole. I don’t know. I’m feeling quite daunted by trying to take it in and reflect upon it. Usually I’m itching to do that right away.

Thoughts about finishing

Now that I’m feeling properly fed the urgency for completing has faded. I was looking forward to getting to Inverie and mooching about, having some different food, but now not so enthusiastic about it. The two men in here earlier were quite negative about spending time there with nothing to do. I hope I don’t feel like that. I had been up to now driven by the notion of having nowhere to go and nothing to do – A HOLIDAY! I hope there is somewhere I can get a present for Katy that means something – I want that to be in Inverie. I’m not sure I want to be in a B&B as those two are planning to be. Maybe a camp site will be okay if I can leave some of my stuff and go and look around.

If the weather stays good, some time on the beach!? I do feel the cold quite badly though now when I’m not exerting myself.

Wednesday 3rd am

It’s 4am and I’m awake in the Bothy – as I have been all night on account of the loudest mouse in the western world. It sounds like someone is preparing a meal on the table opposite. So decided to get up and write. Was thinking about yesterday and what to call the scramble thing that I enjoyed so much. Must have been a gorge really – where the tarns/little lochs released water through steep-sided gully down into a waterfall. Had to keep crossing the water from side to side when the rock walls got too steep. Canyoning then!? I’m in love with this rock. Found myself being quite skilled with my old climbing moves, even now with my pack on (most of the time!). Just like walking in to the Obergablehorn with friend Ian, quite a few years ago, had to throw pack off for some moves then haul it. I went EXTREMELY carefully (aka slowly). An accident out here is no simple matter to remedy…and alone…

In fact on my way towards Strathan from Glenfinnan I heard about one of a pair resting in a tent who was injured and was going to have to try and get himself back over the pass I’d just come down. Bloody nightmare. Sobering. I don’t think I could do this terrain carrying an injury – on top of arthritis that is.

Looking forward to today, except a bit concerned about getting the tide right.

Thinking that in Inverie I might make for campsite rather than B&B – even if it IS full of kids playing football as man sunbathing had found. Oh for a pod or cabin! – esp. since I could then leave stuff to meander about. Probably going to be tired after no sleep tonight. Good job I stayed away from bothies etc till now.

Had my first poo in weeks this am. Looked like deer scat.

Just packed ready to go and watching tide. Feels strange to me not to have been meticulous about packing. Noticed that I left a striker outside last night while cooking my soup – getting TOO RELAXED!

  afternoon

THE BIG DAY. I left about 6am and was just right to get across the bay to the (dangerous) bridge. Unfortunately then it all went horribly wrong. A combination of things. I’d been looking at some maps left in the Bothy at a much larger scale than my own. More detail was also more misleading. But biggest problem was the map directed me to the right of the ruined farm buildings at Carnoch rather than left. So I ended up on a wild goose chase picking up paths that led into swamp (quite serious swamp – dangerous to be around). I started looking for boot marks and saw only animal tracks. I KNEW that the route went straight up – I’d been looking at the close contours for days and wondering if I had the strength. Wonder how I could have considered heading out on the flat!! Trouble was, along with the maps, the two fellas last night in the Bothy left at 6pm saying they’d be in the pub in Inverie before closing. I thought it was about 9 miles, so they probably couldn’t make it but now had in my head that it couldn’t be that difficult. Those factors, along with the tiredness brought on by Bothy mouse, and long term hunger, as well as the habit of following boot prints along the trails, had me heading up the swampy valley.

I’ve heard about this bridge!

Dodgy Bridge??

Not so sure about this

There’s even a sign that says ‘Dodgy’

After about an hour I decided to quit and head back to Carnock, after first trying to make up a new route to Inverie from where I thought I must now be according to map/compass work. I had to do some careful picking around the bogs, then back at Carnock a simple left line took me straight up the side of the hill.

I was pleased with myself that despite stupid navigation to begin with I just took it on the chin and started again. It was still only 9ish in the morning.

On the right route..at last!

When I started on the right route I heard the voices of the two guys from last night behind me. The main man not nearly so friendly. During the day as we crisis-crossed each other the greetings got warmer. The climb was about 600m and I really enjoyed it. It helped that I could feed myself every so often with seaweed broth.

The walk down the other side got even more blisteringly hot so it was hard work, but with a thrilling view of the sea and woods of Inverie. Nose burned really badly. Stopped at a stream 1 mile out of Inverie to wash armpits and change upper clothes, so that I could just go into a tea shop straight away.

Seeing Inverie, after 660 miles and 3 years

Washing in stream

Inverie is UNIQUE and absolutely beautiful. Not much in the way of services (and no phone network), but what’s here is good. Good ethics.

Inverie campsite, with turf roof

I had haggis and baked potato, which I found surprisingly easy to eat – VERY GOOD SIGN OF HEALTH. I never lost my appetite at all except at the end of the West Highland Way when I pushed hard to get to the ferry. Campsite easygoing – log cabin with turf roof, compost toilet in another cabin with turf roof. Lots of things invited to help self to and pay on honesty basis. Odd place (and charming). Workshops tucked away. I’ve pitched at the end of the campsite near bird hide overlooking estuary, in a little copse. Glimpsed a small boat or two in a bay behind me. Can hear gentle sound of woodworking (tapping). The sand on the beach in front of me is soft, grey and sparkles. Will go to the pub (a long walk) to try and get wifi.

Wildlife hide, which was very cold.

later

Pub not open Wednesday but Rangers’ hut open all the time with free wifi. Knoydart is like God’s reward for doing the walk. My boots are still sparkling with Knoydart rock dust.

Glitter beach

Me at the end or new beginning?

The Western Isles ferry from Inverie to Mallaig

Expedition from the Backdoor Diary 7: Fort William to Inverie, Knoydart 29th April to 3rd May 2017 Saturday 29th pm Have taken the ferry over to Camusnagaul on the other side of the loch and set up bivi quickly on steep hillside (just before rain again!).