#literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually

[cats-in-the-clouds]

my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas!!! It’s wedding anon. Real quick, CONGRATULATIONS! My partner and I are both young teachers, and I have to say, i’m SO happy for you. My fiancé moved schools after they treated them badly, and didn’t allow her to use Mx. instead of Ms. (which is really important to them). 

Idk if you’re still taking advice, and i’m from England so there’s definitely some differences, but I teach 11-16 yr olds and honestly?

I’ll always say the best thing to do is be on their side. If they get caught in a hallway, oh they’re on their way to me. If they’re uniform is wrong (idk if it’s non uni in the US but like, breaking uniform rules) then I already punished them and they can’t change it (jewellery wont come off/don’t have spare clothes). If they’re eating in classes, yeah i told them, i’ll talk to their teacher. 

Obviously you have to be careful with serious issues but the silly small rules really freak out the youngest years and really piss off the oldest years. As long as you have boundaries to how far you’ll help them, say for example, any kids can always come to my room and chill out- but if they make anyone uncomfortable they are not welcome back. 

Also at my school there’s big queues for lunch, but you can get an early lunch pass to skip it. There’s a kid in my tutor base (idk if you have those) whose friends all have early passes for dinner cause of a club. So I gave her one so she can eat with them and then come to my classroom and do her homework. 

Oh and try to not set group tasks with a fixed number of people. If you’re alright with it, all group activities go better when they’re with friends. Especially at that age. But not if you limit the number. “It’s supposed to be two, but i’ll allow three.” “Groups of four, yeah okay you guys can be a five.” As long as they DO the work, it’s easier for everyone. 

(And when they’re dicks, remember that they’re learning from their parents and the internet. It’s not their fault. I know you know that, but the most important thing at that age is more than one second chance. Cause they’re gonna be teal annoying basically all the time) 

ANYWAY- there’s a new development you WONT believe. 

Also, WOW, your mum tried to wear a wedding dress to YOUR wedding, damn you really get it then 😭

(Oh god I haven’t even begun to worry about what she’ll wear if she comes).

I feel like parents get a free hand at  being a dick more than others, but for good reason. My mum sacrificed so much for me, and grew up in a totally different way than I did. I don’t blame her for her attitude, but I’m getting a little sick of the guilt tripping.

I stopped going to church every weekend during university (once i moved out) about six years ago, and my mum DROVE UP to my dorm and sat me down and gave me a three hour speech about how she CANNOT STAND me not going to church cause then i’ll go to hell and she just wants me not to go to hell and why don’t I just go to church and pray to god so that she can know I won’t go to hell.

And not to get into a thing- but the reason i’m against being a christian is because of christian’s. Like it’s fine if you decide the way you live is what will get you into your heaven, but like- don’t act like everyone else you meet who also isn’t a devote christian is going to go straight to hell. In fact, trying to decide who does and does not go to hell feels incredibly not christian. 

Anyway, as you can see I have a complicated relationship with my mother and with religion. So I sat my mum down yesterday and told her that I want nothing more than her at my wedding, and that i’ll happily take whatever suggestions she has, but that where I get married has to be up to me and partner. I also tried to explain that we literally CANNOT marry in a catholic church due to their rules but she just yelled more about our queer marriage. 

At one point she said “since your wife is only half a women can’t she just become a man for your wedding” and then she had to sit through my own thirty minute speech about how to not devalue my partners identity… but like- can trans people marry in catholic church’s if they’re just a straight couple and the trans person just doesn’t tell anyone???? I feel their system is flawed. ANYWAY. 

She’s not coming. She won’t be at a wedding “facilitating the devil”… WE’RE GAY, by her standards just standing next to my partner is “facilitating the devil”.

I know her tones though, I think she’s gonna change her mind. 

So my dad hasn’t been around much of my life. He’s coming to the wedding only if my mum is. I don’t really care whether he’s there or not. I’ve already told him he’s not walking me down the aisle. He doesn’t give a shit (he never has). He’ll show up if my mum does, or not if she doesn’t. 

(It’s a long story but when I was in second year at university, I lost my campus dorm… and this annoying bartender guy took me in when I almost became homeless and cooked me food and stuff and like- he’s my dad now, i’m a found family girlie). 

ANYWAY. So yeah, but he’s also super catholic. So he, who doesn’t give a shit about ANYTHING, who never supported my mum, who laughed when I told him I was engaged cause he NEVER KNEW i’d been dating my partner… of five years. HE wants to find me a wedding venue. And this isn’t to be nice by the way, it’s to exert his power in any way he still can. 

And naively I had thought maybe he was being nice. BUT THAT PROVED NOT TRUE. Just… let me build up to saying this… 

So my sister has helped me find actual potential churches that would accept our marriage (“only if YOU want, don’t listen to mum”) and my dad has… are you ready… PUNCHED A FUCKING REVEREND. 

Yep you heard that right.

And NOT because he was homophobic. 

No no, they were ALREADY mocking me and partner, saying how funny it was that we were going to hell for BEING US. 

No, he punched our CHILDHOOD churches reverend (not the same person we had back then but still) because he has the audacity to call my dad a BAD father and husband for- everything (apparently my dad got to gossiping with him about cheating on my mum, and that time he hit me, and that time he smashed a beer bottle over my sisters cat).

You forget how psycho your family is when you’re away for so long (I know my sister forgot too) until your back. Around them again. 

But ANYWAY. He’s sort of invited. He’ll either come with my mum if she comes. Or not if she doesn’t. I don’t care if he’s there. Unless he punches someone again, i’ll probably never even notice him. 

The funny thing about all of this is, while yes a venue is one of the most important things, we’re not actually getting married until January 2026, that’s like a year and a half away (my partners always wanted a winter wedding cause they’re fucking adorable). 

Anyway, that’s the update. A year and a half until my wedding and my dads punching reverends and my mums yelling about the devil. 

I shouldn’t have invited them.

Hi hon!

Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. I'm definitely going to keep all of that in mind.

As far as your update- OH MY GOD

Well, I am SO proud of you for standing up to your mum. That's NOT easy. And your dad sounds...wow. But I'm glad your sister is being so supportive!

But I do want to say- I think you were right to invite them. And the reason is because if you chose not to invite them, you would never know if they would be supportive or not. You would be assuming the worst. But by inviting them, you're giving them the choice to be supportive, and you're assuming the best. Is it going to hurt if they don't show? Absolutely. But now you know that they chose to not be supportive. And that was them. Does that make sense?

But again, I am so proud of you for standing your ground and standing up to your parents. And for defending your partner when needed! You're amazing <3

[holysaintscathedral]

"Absolutely nothing in catholicism encourages [kink]"

Literally one fundamental aspect of catholicism is a half-naked man nailed to a cross, another fundamental aspect are ideas of devotion/worship/punishment/absolution, it is practically a scientific fact that the things we fear/are ashamed of can turn into kinks & they talk a big talk about how "fleshly pleasures" or whatever are dirty and sinful but LITERALLY consuming sacred flesh & blood is another fundamental aspect of it.

Like, I guess you can't reason with people who use their religion to kinkshame on tumblr of all places, and I also get that it's hard to see religion/sex as anything else than what you've been told it is growing up in "controlled" fundamentalist environments, but still, how ignorant/in denial do you have to be to not see how easily most things, including religion can be sexualized/fetishized (neutral)?

- Sincerely, a kinky queer (technically pretty much non-practicing ig but I am still religious) catholic

When you're raised in an environment that demonizes anything that isn't cishet married, vanilla, missionary style sex I supposed it's only logical that they'd resort to kinkshaming. But it's just so funny seeing how in denial they are and calling everyone else freaks and degenerates when their religion is full of things that can have erotic connotations and the really ill repute the Church has regarding sexual abuse and other sexual scandals.

The call is coming from inside the house, as the saying goes, but Catholics won't pick up.

[angeltreasure]

I hope it’s ok to vent or ask for advice or just be kind of stressed right now but this might be so stupid idk can I be saved with tattoos? I’ve always been really artistic and before I knew Christ I just had a lot of friends who had them and it was just kind of the norm for me for a while so I got some again, mostly because I like designing etc and I have a church that couldn’t care less to be honest but every so often I go onto social media or come into constant with a Christian / Catholic or someone who says it’s disgusting or horrible like I don’t have random times where I HATE myself for it or whatever and ever time I remind myself and know belivers who have them I hear someone speak like this or say it’s a terrible sin etc etc and my heart drops and I want to cry and hide and I feel less than any other person in the church :(

If you want to become a Christian by having a valid baptism, you can have tattoos. Jesus never turned anyone away from sitting at His table. There is also nothing across any denomination that says if you want a valid Baptism you can’t have tattoos. Those people online that are coming at you claiming to be Christians themselves are not truly Christian at all. If someone wants to become a Christian, who are we to judge them, to shun them, and turn them away to the point where you cry and feel what you’re feeling now? Those people should be ashamed of themselves for what they’ve done by twisting the eternal word of our God to mock you. I want to apologize in their place for the way they treated you. It is through Baptism of living water that we are saved. You can be any color, male or female, race, ethnicity, age, disabled or non-disabled, rich or poor, job or no job, no matter what your past beliefs or current beliefs, no matter what clothing you wear or what ink you may have on your skin, etc. I think tattoos have a potential to be beautiful depending on what they are and why it was chosen. I wouldn’t turn you away. You have a place at His table if you want to be saved. I know this has been weighing heavily on your heart these past two days, so I want to be the one to extend my hand in peace to welcome you to knowing God.

— —- —— ——-

The tips I would obviously give and remind you of:

- remember that tattoos are permanent so be very sure on what that image will be. If you have any you regret, you can always cover them up with a new tattoo or laser it off but I hear laser is very painful. If money is an issue, there are other ways to cover up the unwanted tattoos by clothing and make up.

- if you feel a current tattoo may be sinful, bring it to our Lord in prayer. If you become Catholic in the future, you can bring it to Confession. All sins can be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. God isn’t going to turn you away or get mad at you, He loves you no matter what and is always by your side.

- absolutely avoid getting any tattoos with Satanic imagery, the occult, sins like lust and pornography, gore, cults, and other imagery like Nazi symbols, etc. you may also want to avoid getting tattoos in foreign languages unless you can absolutely be sure of what it says is correct.

- avoid tattoos of names of your current boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend. These people can come and go (unless you get married of course!).

- people forget that sometimes when you get surgery like my step father did, they actually had to do tiny tattoo dots on his skin.

- I’ve also seen a story of where these Christian women got tattoos in order to avoid being forcely convert them to Islam! Since they stood up for God and their faith, those tattoos literally saved their lives by the grace of God. You can read about that here:

- we also have evidence of Christian pilgrimages where you could get tattoos the old fashion way along the Holy Land and there is also a rich history! Like what BBC said:

Anddddd remember that I love you and God loves you.

[becausethathappens]

Was reading your Rhink discourse re: "we could never date." (Just speculatin' here) Link mentioned on an EB that Christy and he saw a Christian relationship mentor when they were dating and he was perfectionistic about doing everything right. Kind of wonder if this created very rigid and narrow definitions of various relationship types?

gosh, i wanted to reply to this before, but i had too much to say and i'm still not sure where to start, but HARD AGREE.

like okay, i know we're partway here because they're both beautiful people who fit together so snugly both physically and emotionally and would have riotously athletic sex, yes. of course.

but also i think we all just see the truth of the fact that they clearly had religion involved in their day-to-day existence at a near-intravenous level. they’ve vocally moved past binary thinking about a lot of topics. it’s interesting to a lot of people the ones they remain almost deliberately uncurious about. i don’t even have to write it here and you can guess a couple. almost like they know a pandora’s box when they see one. almost like we all recognize the reticence from personal experience.

i think you’re dead-on, basically. and as a lapsed catholic, the movie license to wed is putting it lightly. that stuff really exists. people really treat relationships, marriage, children, etc. as circles on a scantron you have to fill in with the right lead to get a pass from saint peter. from my own direct experience: if you do not meet certain guidelines, you can’t get married or raise children in a church. (i mean, we’re worse in some ways, since we weren’t supposed to use birth control. unrelated, my great aunt is youngest of thirteen. 🙃) i can only imagine their version of those kinds of rules and expectations were even more rigid and unforgiving. ours was more of a social pressure and could be thrown to the side with confession.

their version is more demanding, clearly. they let it dictate their friendships, their relationships, everything. but on the flipside, what’s the point in reflecting on that behavior being wrong or a mistake if you’d just repeat it? wouldn’t dating someone nowadays mean they wouldn’t have to match those same unreal expectations and standards? they act like if they were to start dating tomorrow, they’d have to go by buies creek pre-willenium rules or something. would they anticipate doing all that with another woman, today? no. 

in the anniversary origins behind the scenes they did, link seemed shocked when they drilled down and rhett admitted he wasn’t a fan of the several recurring jokes. link knew enough to tease him, that he gets grumbly about them, but hearing him say he genuinely got frustrated creatively over it had link shook. one might wonder, how could link, the person he’s making these jokes to and with, most of the time, not know rhett had grown tired of it? well, because link finds it funny. so he maintains the bit routine for link. he knows link wants the comfort and familiarity, both himself and on behalf of a portion of the audience. so, what’s he going to do? not make link happy? jeopardize their norms for his own preference? retire something they’ve both committed to for no good reason? of course not.

now take that level of energy and patience and apply it to literally any “deal-breaker” element of link’s day-to-day. rhett makes these types of concessions non-stop. that’s what partners do. just because it’s about comedy doesn’t mean the same can’t be true of other areas. that’s why in depth interviews with them feel like couples therapy. they clearly don’t talk much about the why behind the way that they are for the same reason you don’t pull loose threads on a beloved sweater. and we all know the care they put into keeping their literal wardrobe just as immaculate.

realistically, if rhett were going to quit link, he would’ve done so in middle school, or high school, or college, or after work, or marriage, or kids. there have been plenty of average excuses to tap out, but he has never taken them. it is just never going to happen. he needs to stop thinking in such extremes because even if they were the reality, rhett would bend long before he’d ever break.

still, link will say things like “we could never date” as though we don’t know that. yeah no kidding, you were married at first sight. but by all means, go ahead and make a little faux courtship list of demands and watch rhett meet them anyway. 🙈

[angellesword]

EUPHORIA | JJK

It’s Sunday. Jeongguk was supposed to be at the gym, serving looks. You were supposed to be at the church, serving the Lord. But you two were at the mall, looking for baby toys. You guessed this was your punishment for letting him stick his dick inside of you instead of just using an adult toy.

Alternatively:

“We share the same painful views. Won’t you please stay in my dreams.”

word count: 2.6k (one-shot) PART OF INTRO SERIES

pairing: husband!Jungkook x wife!reader

genre and content warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff, married au, (forced marriage) mention of premarital sex, pregnancy, abortion, Catholic guilt, death, and mental illness.

Sunday was church day.

This was what your whole family made you believe ever since you were young. They were firm believers of God. In fact, your first word wasn't like what most babies said.

Jesus. This was your first word and your mom wasn't even complaining. She loved to brag about it to other lectors and commentators. Your father, a lay minister, also took pride sharing the same story over and over again.

Frankly speaking, you were getting tired of it.

Don't get it twisted. You loved Jesus and you believed that he was your savior. You even sang worship songs at the church every Sunday. You were the head of the choir; every church goer knew you—well, not only church goers.

Literally everyone around you knew you.

You were also popular at school. People referred to you as the good girl who had it all.

You were pretty, smart, and your boyfriend was none other than Jeon Jeongguk.

The man you were dating was a jock. He made it clear that he didn't like studying, but he still wanted to go to a university and apply for scholarship. You had no doubt that he would get what he wanted.

Jeongguk was a star football player after all.

"Babe, what do you think of this?" You showed Jeongguk a stuffed animal. It was a rabbit.

"Cute," he grinned at you. Jeongguk wasn't sure what he found cute. Was it you or was it the stuffed toy?

You and Jeongguk were currently at the mall, buying toys for Haneul, your son who was turning one this month.

"We'll buy this next time.”

The smile Jeongguk was sporting turned into a scowl when you put the toy back to the shelf.

"Next time?" He furrowed his brow, reaching for the rabbit. "Why can't we buy it now?"

"Guk," you let out a sigh. He was feigning innocence but you knew better.

You knew you couldn't afford this kind of toy. Why did you even ask him to go here? It was obvious that you didn't belong here.

Years ago, you and Jeongguk had plans. He wanted to be a famous football player while you decided to major in Marketing; however, your dreams had been shattered when you found out that you were pregnant with his baby.

You didn't know what to do that time. You just graduated high school. Actually, you were supposed to take the college entrance exam at Seoul University.

The test didn't happen because you felt sick that day. You had been vomiting non-stop and everything smelt awful.

You still took a test, though. It wasn't the kind of test you were expecting. You woke up that day to chase you dream, but instead you ended up chasing your breath as you cried and cried and cried.

You took a pregnancy test and the numbing slap of your mother was enough for you to know that you were a disgrace.

A disgrace, a disappointment, an animal, a disrespectful child, and a....

sinner.

You accepted it all. You didn't mind that your whole family was insulting you inside and out.

You didn't blame them—couldn't blame them.

How could you do that when you saw yourself the same way they saw you?

Your mind was poisoning you. You were blaming yourself. You were blaming Jeongguk. He did this to you.

He did this to you because you let him.

So basically, this was your fault.

You ruined your future and the only way to restore everything back to normal was to have an abortion.

Of course you considered abortion. You were young and so, so scared. How could you take care of a child when you couldn't even take care of yourself?

And what about Jeongguk? He didn't deserve this shit. He was young too. He deserved the world, not a punishment.

You considered your child as a punishment. Why didn't you just stick to dildo? Or a fucking vibrator?

There were so many options. Why did you have to trust that stupid condom? You knew it didn't work all the time.

Nothing worked according to your plan.

"You are going to marry Jeon Jeongguk." Your father's words screamed authority.

Everyone in your family was aware that once your father demanded something, it should be followed without any questions. He rarely spoke, but when he did, it was absolute.

"But—" despite knowing the end of this discussion, you still tried to reason out.

You were only able to utter one word before you felt another deafening slap from your mother.

Or was it your father?

You had no idea.

All you knew was that everyone was either physically hurting you or emotionally manipulating you.

"No buts! My decision is final! You are going to marry that Jeon boy!"

Ah, that Jeon boy.

Poor Jeon Jeongguk. He had no idea what was about to happen to him. God. He didn't even know that you were carrying his child.

"We won't allow you to live like a slut anymore," your auntie crossed her arms.

This was the thing about your family. Everyone had a say, even your relative could discipline you. According to them, elders should always be respected. You had to follow what they said because apparently, they knew better than you.

Maybe they did. But still, you didn't want to force Jeongguk to marry you.

Sure, you two had been dating for three years now, but that wasn't enough. What if the love he felt for you wasn't the kind of love that you and your kid needed?

Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving into lust. The tiny voice inside your head sneered at you.

You could only sob.

It seemed like crying was all you could do.

You cried when you found out that you were pregnant, you cried when your parents found out that you were pregnant, and you cried when Jeongguk found out that you were pregnant.

All of this was happening because you were pregnant.

Except one thing:

Jeongguk wanted to marry you not because you were pregnant but because he loved you.

"You don't have to force me.” Jeongguk gritted his teeth when your whole family barged in his house.

Of course the Jeons were surprised. They weren't close to your family even though you lived two houses away from one another.

Your family didn’t want to associate themselves with the Jeons. The latter didn't really believe in the Lord, or even if they did, they were still far from religious.

They raised Jeongguk to be a sinner.

Your family firmly believed that you only got pregnant because Jeongguk forced you.

It wasn't true. You both wanted it to happen. You were consenting adults. Besides, your boyfriend asked you thousands of times if you truly wanted to do it.

He didn't force you. He respected you.

"I will marry her." Jeongguk said with confidence. He was looking at your father as if he was ready to knock him down.

"Jeongguk," his mother called softly. She was crying. She was broken. She was ashamed. She was sorry.

"It's alright, mom." The look Jeongguk gave his mother was the opposite of the glare he threw at your father.

Jeongguk was a sweet boy. He loved his parents so much.

"Shall we talk about the wedding, then?" Your father raised a brow.

Everything happened fast after that. Your family and Jeongguk's parents arranged the matrimony that was about to happen.

The Jeons offered to pay for the wedding expenses. Your family agreed. They didn't really care about the details. They only demanded a church wedding. They also wanted to marry you off as soon as possible.

They said it would be a shame if your baby bump appeared before the white event.

Since the preparation was short, you didn't have a choice but to wear a simple dress. Your mother insisted that you add veil as an accessory.

It was a hypocritical move, really. Veils symbolized innocence and purity.

You were neither.

You were a sinner and guilt was consuming your whole being.

Guilt for disappointing your family.

Guilt for breaking your promise to the Lord.

And guilt for taking something away from Jeongguk.

You took his freedom away.

The small apartment where you two now lived was not enough to showcase what he got. This abode was small, suffocating and confining his talents.

It was also too small to cater your unending tears.

You felt like you were drowning.

"Babe..." Your husband whispered, yet his voice still startled you.

You didn't answer—didn't have the energy to do so. You were drowning, remember? It didn't help that you feel suffocated too. The stupid dress you were wearing was too tight.

"You okay?" Jeongguk enquired, sighing.

He was worried about you. The two of you got married today. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days for brides, but why weren't you happy?

Why did you look...dejected?

"Yeah," you tried to offer him a smile. "I just feel hot."

You weren't lying. You didn't like the ambiance of your house. It felt like a vacation place, like you were a stranger, like you didn't belong.

It was because your mother and sisters were the ones who decorated this place.

"You think you can join me outside?" Your husband rubbed circled on your palm. "Let's have some fresh air?"

You nodded in a heartbeat.

You were tired, but you didn't want to be stuck in this room. You wanted...out.

"Okay.” Jeongguk helped you get on your feet. He was acting as though you were an expensive figurine ever since he learned that you were pregnant.

Your husband led you to the small garden of your home. You didn't know that your family decided to buy a place like this.

You were grateful though. The inside of your home was suffocating, but the garden appeared...magical.

"Jeongguk," your eyes widened in shock. "W-What's all this?"

Your hand was shaking as your eyes scanned the garden. There were fairy lights wrapped around the trees. The place was also decorated with different ornaments and pretty flowers.

Your favorite flowers.

"Do you like it?" Your husband was grinning at you. His eyes were shining brighter than the lights.

"Of course," you cupped his cheeks. "This is sweet, Kookie. Thank you.”

"Anything for you," he brought your hands closer to his mouth, kissing it.

"You deserve everything, baby." And with that, Jeongguk dropped on one knee.

"W-What are you doing!?" You panicked, eyes dilating once again.

"I know everything happened so fast." He started, licking his bottom lip. "We didn't have time to process everything. Our family decided what they think is good for us and trust me, I appreciate it."

You knew he was implying that he wanted this to happen.

"But I want to do something that I want.”  He fished a small box out of the pocket of his slacks.

You gasped.

"They told me to marry you." He opened the velvet box.

There was a ring.

"But they didn't give me the chance to do this," he raised the ring in the air.

"Baby," Jeongguk called, looking at your face with so much fondness. "You deserve a better proposal."

You were sobbing.

"You deserve a man dropping down on one knee. A man who will show you that he is serious about this marriage.”

He took your left hand.

"And I want to be that man. I want to be the man you deserved and not the boy your father coerced,"

You laughed, heart hammering through your chest. Jeongguk was so beautiful.

"I love you..." He confessed as he called your name. "Will you marry me?"

The yes that came out of your mouth was instant. You didn't hesitate. You didn't feel guilty. You just felt....happy.

Jeongguk put the ring on your finger. He kissed your stomach before standing up to crash his lips against yours.

Jeongguk no longer tasted like regret.

He tasted like forever.

Forever...

You swore you would stay with him forever. You felt silly for doubting him.

Jeongguk was a good man.

Your house no longer felt suffocating. It was loaded with love and laughter and it made your heart swell with joy.

Your family didn't bother your life anymore. You were on your own. They stopped supporting you. They said you made a choice—a choice to be a mother.

A mother was a provider, a natural giver.

You provided for your new family. You worked harder. You had two jobs: a waitress and elementary tutor.

Jeongguk continued studying. He was a student in the morning and a delivery boy at night.

You two worked in the same restaurant. Jeongguk tried to cover your shift as much as possible. He was basically doing your job.

He was scared. What if you overworked yourself? He didn't want you to work but you said you had to.

Raising a baby was expensive.

But you did it.

Haneul was turning one year old this month. He was a bright kid and he looked exactly like his father. They had the same brown eyes, so innocent and wide.

You knew you would do anything for your baby—well—except for one.

You wouldn't buy this stuffed toy for him. It's not like you didn't want to. It was more like you couldn't.

You couldn't afford it.

You couldn't, but Jeongguk could.

"Let's buy it...” He repeated. "I have money. I worked overtime last night.”

Your husband was still a delivery boy. You, on the other hand, quit your job so that you could look after your baby.

"Are you sure? This is expensive, Kook." You bit your lower lip.

Jeongguk smiled at you.

"But Haneul will like it.”

His reason was enough for you to just give in.

Of course.

Anything for your little Jeon. You would die for your son.

"Haneul, we're home!" You cooed loudly.

You were excited to see your baby. Jeongguk told you to give Haneul the stuffed toy while he go and express his gratitude to your neighbor for looking after baby Haneul.

Little did you know, Jeongguk was lying.

There was no neighbor to talk to.

It was only an excuse so that he could stare at you through the window as you rocked the empty crib in your room.

You were singing.

"You are the sunlight that rose again in my life..." Your voice was sweet that Jeongguk couldn't help but cry a little.

For you, Haneul was light. He shed light when you felt like giving up.

"You are the cause of my euphoria," your child was also the cause of your happiness.

Without him, you would be lost.

Jeongguk knew it.

Haneul.

This was the name you chose for your kid. It meant heaven.

For you, Haneul was God sent.

But Jeongguk was wondering.

If Haneul was God sent, then why did the Lord take him immediately?

Why did your Lord take him away from you and Jeongguk?

"Close the door now..." You continued to sing.

Jeongguk's heart clenched.

He watched you every day, so he already knew the next line of the song.

He sang with you.

"When I'm with you I'm in utopia..."

Utopia was a special place. A fantasy world. A world where everything was possible.

In Utopia, Haneul was still alive.

Jeongguk wasn't crazy.

He knew you needed help.

You were in denial. Too caught up in fantasy that you refused to believe that your son was already dead the moment he was born.

Haneul died in your womb.

He tried telling you, but you didn't want to acknowledge it.

You became hysterical when the words dead and Haneul were mentioned in the same sentence.

Jeongguk avoided using those words. It had been months now, almost a year actually.

He wondered if he could still continue pretending.

Looking at you hurt.

He guessed it was time to let go.

Not now, but soon.

For today, he just wanted to believe that utopia was real.

It should be fine, right?

more JJK FICS: Your Eyes Tell or check Masterlist

[carllisle]

The Second Mrs Cullano 

As we all know, Esme Platt is not Carlisle Cullano’s first wife, nor is she his second - she is actually his third. But she is the love of his life, the reason for his breathing, and so when he marries for the second time, it’s clear that wives are nothing to soulmates. 

Esme Platt enjoys the wedding of Carlisle Cullano and the Second Mrs Cullano. 

Dedicated to my literal partner in this crime, @notquitetwilight, and to our collective projection onto cringe New Jersey mob show stereotypes. Special shoutout to @stregoni-benefici and @carlislesscarf.

Esme felt a soft kiss on her shoulder and smiled. Sun was pouring through the open windows of her bedroom and there was a soft breeze that lifted her hair. He was still here. He shouldn’t have been. 

“Good morning,” he whispered against her skin. “You smell so good.” 

Esme rolled onto her stomach and curled around her pillow with her smile broadening. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

“You kicking me out?” 

“No. But I’ve got things to do, too, you know?” 

Carlisle lay next to her and stroked her caramel hair, his face close to hers on her pillow. She cracked open an eye and watched him watch her. “Can I stay with you?” he whispered. 

She shook her head. “Not for long. For breakfast, though, if you make it.”

“I don’t wanna leave this bed.” 

“You’re gonna have to at some point, baby. You’ve got responsibilities today.” 

“Tell me to stay, Esme. Tell me not to do it.” He ran a strong hand over her neck and gently wrapped it around her throat, fingers tilting her jaw to the side. 

She laughed quietly, sleep making her mind hazy. “No. I want you to have a wife and a family. You’ve always wanted that, but I haven’t. I still want to be me for a while yet.” 

“You wouldn’t stop being you just for being my wife.” 

Esme took the hand around her throat and brought it up to kiss. Carlisle closed her eyes at the touch of her lips. “We’ve talked about this, for years. Decades. I can be your person, but I can’t be your wife. I won’t be anyone’s wife again.” 

“I’m not anyone. Please, Esme. Marry me.” 

She stretched her arms up and laughed. “Not today!” But she rolled over and wrapped her legs around him and pulled him against her, loving him as best she could in the soft sunrise. 

After, they followed their usual routine of showering together and dressing. Since their days of teenage love they enjoyed the quiet of domesticity. Outside the walls of their homes wars raged on their streets but in her old house, in his sprawling estates, it was just them, and today was no different. He zipped her skirt and she buttoned his shirt and they walked arm in arm down the street for coffee and bagels. They took a booth at the back of the cafe, although it didn’t matter if anyone saw them - they had never been a secret. Besides, they both kept guns strapped to them and knives hidden in their jackets and coats. 

Esme leaned back in her chair, blowing steam off the top of her coffee. “You’re sure about this one?” 

Carlisle regarded her over his phone and considered the question. “Yeah. It’s gotta be someone, why not her?” 

“It doesn’t have to be someone,” she reminded him gently. “You could go it alone. Well, as alone as you will ever be. You’ve always got me.” 

“Yeah. But I want someone. I want a wife. And the wife I want doesn’t want me, so I gotta choose the next best thing. Besides, you know her family’s reputation, that’s nothing to turn my nose up at.” 

“Ever the pragmatist.” 

He gave her one of the smiles he saved just for her. “Aw, you hurt me, Es. I do like her. She’s got spirit, and she’s smart as hell. She likes the high life and she wants kids sooner rather than later, and… and she makes me laugh. She makes me feel wanted.” 

“I think most of the east coast wants you,” Esme said quietly, avoiding his gaze. It wasn’t that she was jealous - how could she be, when he made her feel so adored all the time? - but it irritated her that this woman was able to give him what he wanted, and she couldn’t. One marriage to the wrong man had ruined the institution for her and now not even Carlisle could heal that wound. Yes, her first husband had died violently at her hand for his transgression, but that wasn’t the point. The transgression had occured in the first place. That was frightening. 

“Don’t be angry, darling. You know it’s still you.” Carlisle reached over the table and stroked her hand and Esme felt safe again. She held his gaze and nodded slightly. “It’ll always be you. You’re mine, before anyone and everyone else.” 

She smiled, her mood improved. He had always been happy to declare his feelings with her, and even now, on the morning of his wedding to another woman, in a nondescript coffee shop, he made her feel like the most adored woman. On the middle finger of her right hand she still wore the first expensive ring he had ever bought her, and it cost as much as her parents’ house. It was a gaudy thing, a thick diamond set on a band of smaller cut gems that they had chosen together the day after she killed Charles. It was Carlisle’s promise to her - that no matter who else came along, no matter what the world threw at them, they would love each other before anyone and anything else. He wore a similar ring she bought him on his little finger of his right hand. They never took their rings off. His first wife had hated it - understandably - but she had got her share in the divorce when Carlisle had refused to forsake Esme. She looked down at the ring and it sparkled. She’d had it cleaned for the wedding today especially. 

“Are you sure me coming today is a good idea?” she asked after a long moment. 

He squeezed the hand he held. “Yeah. I need you there.”

“She’ll be mad.” 

“She’s always got something to be mad about. Besides, she knows the deal and you’re non-negotiable.”

“I don’t want to upset anyone on their wedding day, Carlisle.” 

He shifted his chair around the table and leaned closer to her. “What about me? You wanna upset me on my wedding day?” 

She bit her lip and grinned. “I never want to upset you.”

“Then be a good girl. Come for me.” He rested his hand on her thigh under the table and Esme glanced around the cafe. No one paid them any mind. “Look at me.”

She met her lover’s piercing gaze and bit her lip. 

“You gonna come for me?” 

She nodded and gasped quietly when he rewarded her with a kiss. Esme could taste the coffee on Carlisle’s lips. He wanted her, he needed her, and she would never let him down. 

Esme’s cousin begrudgingly helped her get ready for the wedding. She said it was indecent for the mistress to turn up, let alone in a red silk dress barely held together by strands of diamonds across the back, but Esme smugly told her the groom had bought it for her especially, and who was she to refuse him? As a precaution she strapped her Colt Python to her thigh - it was an old machine, temperamental, but it made her feel powerful and she had a more reliable weapon in her clutch, as well as blades hidden in her shoes - and touched up her hair. Curls pinned to her head, diamonds dripping from her ears, and Carlisle’s dress draped across her, Esme felt more sensual than ever. When she sat in the pew at the wedding mass and thought of how the groom had sighed between her thighs mere hours before, she felt holy. She sat with his cousins a few rows back and even when the blushing bride strutted down the aisle, he couldn’t keep his eyes from Esme for long. 

They were lucky to be able to have a Roman Catholic service as everyone knew that Carlisle’s first marriage had been valid, but enough money had been slipped to the dioceses to push through an annulment, and so in the eyes of the Church this was his first marriage. There was some humour in that. The familiar words were spoken, hymns and prayers recited, and after what felt like a lifetime, and no time at all, Carlisle was walking down the aisle with the new Mrs Cullano on his arm. Sadness twinged at Esme’s stomach. That could have been me. It should have been. He’s mine. 

The reception was tolerable, enjoyable in its tackiness and extravagance. Everything was white and puffy and the hundreds of guests stuffed into the grand ballroom of the coastal hotel were drunk within the first course. It was how a Jersey wedding should have been, though, and Esme appreciated it for what it was. By the time the first dance came, she was lightly buzzed and enjoying catching up with the biggest names in east coast crime, many of whom were old family friends. Business people and politicians, state senators and property moguls joined them too, tying together the legitimate and illegitimate powers that kept the region affluent and fun, and most didn’t know where the legality ended and illegality started. By the time Esme snorted a line of cocaine from the chest of a mayor’s daughter she didn’t much care and the pair fell about laughing in the bathroom. As if called by the sound of Esme’s happiness, the moment was cut short by the sound of the bride herself outside. 

“Lisa, can you fucking help me? This dress is a fucking nightmare, you gotta hold it up, okay?” 

“You better go,” Esme advised the girl, no older than twenty-two by the looks of it, “before you meet Bridezilla up close and personal.” 

The girl giggled and darted from the bathroom just as the bride scrambled her way through the door. The dress she had chosen was appropriately enormous, tight on top and blooming into an extravagant ball gown from the waist down, and Esme wasn’t surprised that she needed three bridesmaids to help her through the door. 

“God, I’m dying to sit down properly-” she moaned over her shoulder before her eyes fell on Esme. Esme patted around her nose, watching her own pretty reflection in the mirror. “Oh. I didn’t know you were here.” 

“I responded to your invitation,” Esme replied mildly. “Lovely dress.” She turned her attention to her lipstick and dotted a fresh coat on, pointedly ignoring the bride. 

The second Mrs Cullano turned back to her bridesmaids and then looked at Esme, dithering between the two. There was a long pause before she turned to her entourage. “Stay outside. Make sure no one comes in, alright?” The bridesmaids made noises of agreement and the door swung shut, and then it was just Esme and Carlisle’s new wife. 

After Mrs Cullano said nothing, Esme broke the silence. “You’ve organised a wonderful day. Are you enjoying yourself?”

Mrs Cullano’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not happy you’re here.” 

“Oh?” 

“I know why you’re here.” 

“To see one of my dearest friends marry the woman he loves, of course.”

“Don’t play cute.” 

Esme smiled sweetly. “You think I’m cute?” 

“Cut the shit.” 

She sighed and looked at the bride. “What’s on your mind, Mrs Cullano?” 

“It’s real tacky you’re here, you know?”

“He wants me here. I came because he asked me to be here. I wouldn’t be here without an invitation.” 

“I didn’t invite you.” 

Esme pulled her invitation from her clutch and handed it to her. “Yes, you did.” 

The bride threw it aside, angry. “Give up! I won! He doesn’t want you!” 

Esme smiled at her sadly. There was nothing to say that could bring the bride any comfort. The truth was, Carlisle did want her. He wanted her more than anyone and anything, but that didn’t matter to this woman. This woman knew she had just pledged her life to a man who couldn’t love her completely. She was angry for it. “He’s my friend,” was all she could say. 

“Get new friends.” 

“I won’t stand in the way of your happiness, Mrs Cullano, or his. Above anything else, I love him and I want him to have the most wonderful life. I can’t give him the life he wants, but you can. Why would I jeopardize that?” 

It was the wrong thing to say in hindsight. Esme knew that the moment the bride launched at her with murder in her eyes. Her clawing fingers reached out and she managed to get in one good scratch before Esme had her arms locked behind her and ready to pop from their joints. “Easy,” she whispered against Mrs Cullano’s ear. The acrylics on her fingers made her face sting, but the skin hadn’t been broken. “Calm down. Like you said, you won, you’re his wife. Don’t fight me for anything more, because you will lose, do you understand me?” 

“Are you threatening me?” Mrs Cullano gasped. 

Esme tightened her grip and the bride hissed. “Yes. Raise a hand to me again and Carlisle’s love for you will not save you. You want to see who he will really choose if it comes down to it? Because I do not have my doubts. Do you?” 

Just as the bride’s whines rose in volume along with her pain, Esme let her go. She gripped under her elbow and held her upright to stop her from falling. “You got in a good scratch, I’ll give you that. But work on your attack and maybe you’ll take out an eye next time, alright? You’ll need protection if you’re going to love him.” 

“Are you threatening me?” Mrs Cullano asked again. 

There was no kindness left in Esme’s eyes. “Yes.” 

The two women stared at each other for a long moment. The new bride broke first. Esme sniffed and checked her reflection before stalking out of the bathroom, not a hair out of place. She pulled on the diamond strap of her dress and was close to the ballroom door when Carlisle stepped out. His smile was so bright when he saw her and he reached for her hands. When he noticed the scratches across her face his forehead creased. 

“What happened?” he asked, tender fingers touching the marks. Across the corridor there was a set of glass doors open to the terrace, and it was dark out there. There were a few wedding guests milling around but quick steps had the pair hidden in the gloom. Overhead, stars popped across the inky sky. With her arm in Carlisle’s, they found their way down garden paths and to the beach. No one saw them. 

“Your wife doesn’t like me,” Esme told him, smiling. His face was barely visible in the darkness but his bright hair caught the light of the stars. Their walk eventually slowed as their shoes crunched on the sand. 

“She did this?” 

Esme nodded. “It’s alright, she deserved to get in a good swipe. It won’t happen again, though.” 

“No, it won’t,” Carlisle replied angrily. “Who does she think she is?” 

“The new Mrs Cullano, protecting the honour of her marriage,” Esme pointed out with a light laugh. “I’d do the same. I don’t mind, really. I understand her anger.” 

“Esme,” he said, his voice softening. “How can I love someone who hurt you?” 

“You’re the only one who can hurt me, Carlisle.” She wound an arm around the back of his shoulders and closed her eyes when he rested his forehead against hers. 

“I’ll never hurt you.” 

“I know.” And he never had. Not with a hand, not with a word. No one had ever loved anyone like Carlisle loved Esme, and she knew it. “You’re so good to me. What did I do to deserve you?” 

Carlisle rested one hand at the small of her back and ran the fingers of his other hand up her spine. “Thank you for wearing this dress. You look beautiful.” 

She smiled in the night. “Thank you for choosing it for me.” 

“Gotta let the whole world see how wonderful my girl is.” 

“Call me that again.” 

“My girl?” 

She hummed and began gently swaying, moving him to dance with her to the sound of the ocean. “You’re my person, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. And you’re my person. Always have been. Always will be.” 

Carlisle’s soft kiss touched Esme’s cheek and she sighed in bliss. “I love you, Carlisle.”

“I love you, too, Esme. More than anything. Always.”

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

[jeanjauthor]

What’s the hierarchy in renaissance times? Royal, noble,knights, merchants, peasants? Is that it? Have I missed anything?

It honestly depends upon which culture you're using.

And yep, the clergy got missed--it's natural for us to forget to think of them since modern culture is far more secular than life used to be back in the Renaissance, and religious figures are less visibly powerful as a social rank. (I could rant about evangelicals effing up everything, but that's not this post.) As a cult of personality individually, yes, but not social-rank-wise. Back in Renaissance eras, it was more of a social rank...and again, it depends. (One can also argue that entertainers are a rank, etc.)

In China, merchants were considered lower than peasants "because they don't produce anything", yet in Venice & Genoa they were basically the highest rank you could get without having an actual noble rank. In the post-Reformation areas (Martin Luther / Protestantism), the clergy (Catholic church) were no longer near the top of the list, while over in Spain, the Catholic Church was still legally torturing people to death just for existing up until July 15, 1834 when the Spanish Inquisition was finally abolished by royal decree.

King Henry VIII of England broke the Church's power not just because of his demand to divorce his non-male-producing wives (which wasn't their fault; sex chromosomes are mostly determined by the father's contributions, gender just happens, and misogyny is toxic as hell), but because the Church and its monasteries controlled a LOT of land & wealth in the early parts of Tudor-era England...and for various reasons, he was strapped for cash, so, why not solve all problems at once by seizing all of that land and its wealth?

If this is for an historically set story (and I do wish you people would tell me if it is or not!), aka real-world setting, you need to do some research for the hierarchy. Some areas also still had slavery, so those folks would be at the bottom of the social tiers. Some areas still had serfs (I'm lookin' at you, Russia!) where the peasantry were basically slaves with a few more "freedoms"...but they were still tied to the land and could be beaten for trying to run away to actual freedom.

But if it's a setting for a created world, then things start to get a lot more flexible. Does your created culture value labor and physical products? Crafters and farmers will probably be valued higher than merchants and/or entertainers. Does it value entertainment highly? Then skilled performers will be ranked up near the nobles. Presuming your system does have nobility, does it have a monarch, or is it ruled by a council of nobles/high-ranking citizens whom appoint an elected leader for a period of time? (Think the Doge of Venice.)

On the other hand, technology was evolving somewhat drastically in the Renaissance, so if it's early Renaissance you might still have knights, but if it's late Renaissance, the advent of hand-held gunpowder weapons kinda made knighthoods kind of difficult to acquire without, y'know, dying from all those projectiles (musket / arquebus balls; technically they're not yet bullets) going straight through plate armor. The vicious bloodthirsty bastards known as Conquistadores still wore breastplates and helms, but not full armor nor chainmail; they wore the breastplates & helms to protect their vitals against up-close melee combat, and took their chances (same as everyone else) with projectile fire. As a result, warrior types were more interested in gaining wealth, titles, and lands, not mere knighthoods, because the shiny had gone out of the plate due to advancing weapons tech.

So does your society have knights? Or warrior types of any sort? And are there any crossovers? Shaolin monks were definitely warriors, but also clergy. This meant that in some eras and regions they were revered above many others socially, in some they were simply equal to most folks (the average monk, that is; not talking the heads of temples/monasteries), and in other times & places, they were literally being hunted to death. Venice had merchant-princes; most of them didn't have any actual noble titles, but they certainly had the wealth and the political power!

Also what size are your kingdoms, and what are their relations with their neighbors? The Holy Roman Empire included a lot of Germanic principalities, which had literal princes and dukes, etc, ruling over regions...but don't believe for a second that everyone considered themselves in actual fealty beneath the Emperor; there were all manner of uprisings, ignorings, and so forth.

France centralized its royal power as much as possible, demanding the nobility come live at the royal palaces for X amount of the year to control its nobles, whereas up in England, the nobles had codified a certain amount of autonomy via the Magna Carta; yes, they owed the king X amount of service, but it wasn't nearly as centralized a state in its power structure. And Poland wasn't even nearly that centralized. (Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube did a good video on this, just a few days ago).

Social status could also shift back and forth depending on who was marrying whom. English nobles might "shudder" at the idea of marrying wealthy "peasant stock" Americans, but Italian nobles and a Venetian merchant-prince family? Dude/ttes got power! Get into that family's pockets and you've just opened up a world (literally) of trade routes!

If it's a created world culture, are these merchants, nobility, etc, in a backwater area at the end of a supply/trade chain? Or are they in a major crossroads zone? (Be advised that crossroads areas tend to have a history of frequent armed conflict as invaders swoop in to try to grab all that wealth, pwn the local n00bs, & loot-lust everything in sight.)

So for an actual historical setting, that's one thing (please, people, let me know if this is an actual historical setting--the answers DO CHANGE whether it's a real-world setting or a created world setting!!), but if it's a created world...you need to figure out what the cultural values are, both for the overall kingdom, and for the local/regional culture. If your story is set in a city with a school for music & musicians, then musical entertainers are going to have a higher social ranking than in the next big city down the road, which might focus on the weavers' guild, where quality textile crafters are valued more highly in social circles.

[wherepoetswentodie]

Hiii, this is part of the fic that I’m working on atm that I’m uploading because I crave validation and also feel guilty when I don’t upload anything 

~~~~~

At 18 years old, Kevin Price didn’t know who he was, but he knew who he was meant to be.

He was meant to be loyal to his Church and his family. He was meant to drive his younger sister, Grace, to and from dance practice and make sure that his younger brother, Jack, was behaving when they were in Church (he almost always wasn’t). He was meant to get straight As in all of his classes (which he did), volunteer at an animal shelter when he wasn’t working a terrible minimum wage job at Target and being the most supportive little brother in helping his eldest brother plan his wedding - which was extremely boring, because Kevin couldn’t bring himself to care about the colour of the ties. 

Strangely enough, it was at Target that Kevin began to realise things about himself. It was actually in the parking lot of said Target that he had his first kiss - with a boy. 

Kevin had first got to know Brad Copeland when they were 16; one of the few non-Mormons at his school and someone who had always known exactly who he was and where he was going. He had told Kevin exactly who he was when he had been showing Kevin around on his first day of the job.  

“I’m going to cosmetology school once I finish High School,” Brad cheerfully told him, “I’m also gay, if you didn’t work that out from, you know...” he gestured vaguely to himself. 

“Uh, yeah,” Kevin said awkwardly, “Anyway, um...the - the cash registers...” 

It had scared Kevin at first, seeing someone so openly themselves, but then he had started to relax around him. Hesitantly whispering that yeah, that customer is cute, even when the customer in question was a boy and even letting Brad practice by painting his nails (though the varnish was swiftly removed before Kevin went home). 

And he supposed that’s how he ended up with having a boyfriend without even realising that he had a boyfriend. (Deep down, Kevin knew that there was nothing platonic about anything that he and Brad did together, but he had never been one to really dive deep into his feelings). 

Brad was the only person who really understood Kevin, probably much better than he understood himself. He knew things about Kevin that no one else did; he knew that he liked to be the little spoon and that he didn’t really understand the scripture that he was so good at mindlessly repeating. 

And being Catholic, Brad wasn’t much help when Kevin tried to work out why Joseph Smith didn’t just show everyone the golden plates and stop people questioning if he was telling the truth or not. 

“Maybe they were too heavy for him to pick up,” Brad suggested. 

“What?” Kevin asked, turning around on his desk chair to stare at him, half confused at what he had just said, and half confused as to why he was curled up in his bed like he was in his own house. Not that Kevin really minded him being in his bed, he was just more concerned about the fact that he was meant to be applying to colleges and was very obviously not doing that. 

Brad shrugged and pulled Kevin’s blanket tighter around him, “I’m Catholic, I’m still trying to work out how the Holy Spirit wrote the Bible. I thought it wasn’t a physical thing.” 

Kevin snorted, “When was the last time you went to Church?” 

“I dunno, I think when my Grandma died when I was like 10?” 

“It’s been 8 years!” 

“At least one of us can do math,” 

Kevin tutted and turned back to his Book of Mormon, clicking his pen. He was having one of those days where he couldn’t focus on what he was reading because he was far too distracted by the boy in his bed - and for all the wrong reasons. 

“I’m going to break your hand!” Brad exclaimed, “stop clicking your damn pen,” 

“Dang,” Kevin corrected, standing up from his chair and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Brad rolled his eyes and tugged on Kevin’s arm a little, “When are your family going to be home?” 

“Two or three hours probably,” Kevin said, tugging his arm out of Brad’s grip in favour of taking his hand. 

“So, come cuddle me,” Brad said. 

“Needy,” Kevin mumbled, curling up next to him anyway. 

Brad laughed and slid his arms around Kevin’s middle, pulling him closer. Kevin closed his eyes against the shouting in his head that was telling him he was going to Hell and tried to stay in the moment; the gentle puffs of Brad’s breath blowing through his hair, the hands running up and down his back and the fact that, for a short time, he could let go and be who he wanted to be - no matter how much it scared him. 

“I’m really glad you’re my boyfriend, Kevin,” 

Kevin’s eyes shot open and he looked up at Brad, his heart suddenly beating uncontrollably fast. 

“B-Boyfriend?” Kevin said, “I’m your boyfriend?” 

“We make out all the time,” Brad said with a giggle, “and you literally took me out on a date last week,” 

Kevin smiled and closed his eyes again; the shouting in his head had just gotten that little bit louder, but he could still just about block it out and focus on Brad tangling their legs together and him pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“You know, my brother is getting married in like six months,” Kevin muttered. 

“I know,” Brad said, “Getting married at 22 is a bit much, isn’t it?” 

Kevin shrugged, “I don’t know, that’s probably when I’ll get married,” 

Brad pulled back slightly and looked down at him, a small smile playing on his lips, “What, you think it’s going to be legal then?” 

Kevin frowned and wiggled out of Brad’s arms, sitting back against the headboard. 

“It’s already legal?” Kevin said. 

“No, it isn’t,” Brad said, talking very slowly, “It’s illegal for two men to get married, Kevin. Gay marriage isn’t a thing,” 

Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes, “I’m not gay,” 

“No, I know you’re bi, but I think it’s still called a gay wedding even if-” 

“I’m straight,” Kevin said firmly.

“Straight?” Brad laughed, “In what world are you straight?” 

“I can’t be gay or bi,” 

“Gay marriage being illegal doesn’t make being gay illegal, Kev,” 

“I’m LDS! It might as well be!” Kevin snapped. 

“You know there’s more to you than being LDS, right?” 

“No, there isn’t,” Kevin said firmly, “but I don’t need to be more. I’m already enough as it is. Heavenly Father will reward me in the afterlife when I get to live with my eternal family,” 

“So you can’t be gay but you can act like you’re my boyfriend?” Brad asked furiously, “I get that we can’t be out to your parents, but we can be out to each other, can’t we?” 

Kevin jumped up out of bed and shook his head, “You don’t get it!” 

“Whatever, Kev,” Brad snapped, shoving past him and slamming the door shut behind it. 

Kevin stared at the space that Brad had been lying in moments before until everything clicked into place and the reality of what he was doing clicked into place. He snatched his phone off the bed and deleted Brad’s number. He sat back down at his desk and ripped open his Book of Mormon, flicking through to the verse that always made him feel better when he felt like God was actually going to smite him. 

“But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness with intent, they were forgiven,”

[schrijverr]

The Mystery of Castiel

Dean sets out to prove that his husband, Castiel, is an acual angel walking amongst man. He tries to convince his friends with his documentary. much to the confusion and amusement of fans.

Part of the Famous Husband verse, which is also a series)

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: None, but I’ll be happy to tag something for you, no questions asked! :)

~~~~~~~~~~

The video opened with a grainy and moving shot of a dark hallway with lights spilling out of a doorway at the end. From behind the camera Dean whispered: “I think there’s something in my house. It feels ancient, powerful. So, I’m checking it out.”

He was close to the doorway and he took a deep breath before rounding the last corner, finally showing the kitchen.

Standing at the kitchen counter was Cas, he was in his pajamas and looked like a dear in headlights when he heard Dean enter. In his hands he held a cereal box from which he was eating dry cereal. The digital clock beside him displayed the time, 03:07. His voice was gruff from sleep as he hurriedly said: “It’s not what it looks like.”

Dean screamed, then his intro rolled. It was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.

The backdrop was out of focus, but you could make out a bunch of red string and vague pictures. Dean was sitting in front of it, his hair was disheveled and he had dark bruises under his eyes. Of course, the viewers didn’t have to know that was thanks to Jessica's make up skills. He rubbed his forehead and said: “I can’t do this anymore.”

He sighed deeply and went on: “I love my husband, I do. He is my everything, but the elephant in the room hasn’t been discussed seriously and it’s eating me up. I don’t know how to start talking about it without him turning it into a joke. Which is why I am making this video, I want your opinions and tips on how to handle this or just for you tell me if I’m acting crazy. Because I really need someone to tell me what to do.”

He was now looking straight into the camera as he said: “I think Cas is either an angel or some sort of cryptid. He’s just not human that’s all I know, okay. He has to be immortal, not of this world. I mentioned this before, but no one takes me seriously.”

The video changed and a time line came into view, while Dean did a voice over: “I met Cas in September of 2010. According to him he is born in 1990, so he should be 30, if all of this is correct and he has aged just like a human would.”

A dot appeared on the line and 2013 came above it. Dean said: “I started my YouTube channel in 2013, Cas claims to have been 23 at this time and I have footage of him in one of my videos.”

A clip played of Dean telling the camera he was going to try and drink three liters of soda in one go with no break in between. In the background a man walked past.

“I now see that that might not have been the best clip, so here is a picture as well.” Deans voice was heard as a photo of a young Dean and Cas appeared. They were sitting next to each other on the beach. Dean had a beer in his hand and cheered to the camera while Cas did a peace sign in the background, bee sunglasses firmly on his face.

“To compare this to now, here is a picture Sam took of us last week.” Dean said and another photo appeared beside it. This one was taken on the couch the viewers knew so well from live streams. Dean and Cas were sitting next to each other in this picture as well, they had a blanket thrown over their legs and a bowl of popcorn on their laps. Dean was kissing Cas’s cheek while he flipped of Sam, aka the camera.

“He appears to have aged normally, although he is still dashingly handsome, if I might say so. Not the point. Anyway, since he has aged so normally most people don’t believe me, but I’m going to prove it.”, the photo’s faded and the Dean from earlier reappeared.

“I’ve been awake for days now, trying to find all the evidence I could, just to try and convince someone out there, to hear a voice back saying that I am not going crazy.” Dean said, “I am married to an immortal non-human, an angel in the biblical sense, and I need to tell someone.”

He picked up a manila folder, and opened it. He started: “Okay, so the first thing I have is his family. He grew up extremely Christian, or so he says, but I think he’s hiding behind a facade of biblical households to hide the fact that he is an angel himself and therefor witnessed everything that happened within the Bible.”

Dean chuckled: “He’s not even subtle about it. I mean, seriously. His name is also the name of an angel, Castiel the angel of Thursday. And he has eleven siblings, which makes a total of  twelve children, like twelve as in the amount of apostles Jesus had and they also all have biblical names. His brothers are Gabriel, Micheal, Raphael etcetera. He even has a brother named Lucifer that apparently no one talks to anymore, because he defied their father and is now in prison or something. That’s not a good cover story. That’s the Bible retold, but then bad.”

Cas and Dean had discussed what Dean would say about Castiels family beforehand and they had decided that this was enough. No reason to get into more detail about it. This was supposed to be funny and dumb, not revealing and sad.

“What shoots a hole in this, according to Sam is that we have pictures of him from when he was a child.” Dean said and a picture of a toddler Cas with big blue eyes and a small frown already on his face was shown, before Dean went on: “I think that Sam is wrong. If you’re a powerful entity, you can make fake pictures of a baby-you that has never existed. But I will let you draw your own conclusions about that.”

“Coming back to an earlier point,” Dean went on, “his History knowledge. This is also weird, since he knows everything about History, in particular thing about long long ago. Which as he points out is because he studied History. And that’s fair, but it’s weird.”

He rubbed his face again and groaned in frustration: “Ugh, just let me, let me put this into words better.”

“If you studied History, you know History and that’s just how it is. But what you don’t know is suddenly everything about the ancient times, no matter how much you specialized on it, which I know he hasn’t since he teaches History and you need to know more than just one period in order to do that.” Dean said, “We all on the same page?”

There was a silence, like he was waiting for a response. He acted like he got it: “Good, so why- how can he know everything in excruciating detail about that period? And he knows it like he’s been there and he has an abnormal amount of space in his brain for memories.”

A clip played of Cas, Dean behind the camera. They were on vacation, probably, and standing in a church. Dean said: “Can you repeat what you just said, sunshine?”

Cas looked over, saw the camera and shot it a tired look. He rolled his eyes and pointed at a picture of Jesus: “I said that this Jesus isn’t very realistic, because he isn’t smiling. Well, he has a smile, but it’s like this weird serene one. He was young when he was crucified. You really think a twenty-year-old had any patience or chill? I think not. He had a big happy smile,” then hastily, “probably. I think, at least.”

Disheveled Dean reappeared and said: “Tell me that is not fricking suspicious. And that’s just the one I captured on camera. He’s always commenting stuff like that.” his eyes lit up and he snapped his finger as he said: “Like, like he did in the Q&A video we did!”

The clip played of Castiel talking about the Tower of Babel.

“I mean come on. He talked about it like he knew how it had suddenly turned, because he had been there. I know what you’re thinking, it’s a story that gets told to Catholic children. And you’d be right, it is a biblical story. Yet, Mr. History talked about it like it is something that happened, even though it hasn’t been proven.” Dean explained, “And then he tried to cover it up, by saying how it would be an opportunity to find out. Good cover story, angel, but not happening.”

“And don’t get me started on his lack of pop-culture knowledge.” Dean went on, “I mean, I got him a phone. His first phone ever, for his 21st birthday. No one should get their first phone in 2011.”

A picture of Cas came on screen. He was holding up a phone, but it was all wrong. He held in with his pointer finger and thumb, a thumb that was in the middle of the screen, and he looked at it with confusion written all over his face.

“He also knew nothing about movies.” Dean appeared again, “I had to show him everything. And I mean everything. No Disney, no Star Wars, no Lord of the Rings, no Friends, no Indiana Jones, no horror movies, nothing. Almost like he had been away from earth while all of it was made and only popped down recently, which reconnects to my previous point about the specific History knowledge.”

“Another thing is his social skills.” Dean moved on to his last point, “He had no clue how to interact with people when I first met him and when I asked about it he claimed his ‘people skills were rusty’, like he used to have them, but they had faded over time. Which would be impossible, because at that age you either don’t have them or you do, you cannot have forgotten entirely.”

The screen went black again and a list appeared: “So we now have four strange things about him.”

1. Youth and Family

“His youth is filled with weird biblical details that are so accurate or strange that it couldn’t have been a coincidence.”

2. History Knowledge

“Despite his study, this is still weird and suspicious, but I feel like the evidence I showed speaks for itself.”

3. Lack of Pop-culture Knowledge

“This could also be his sheltered upbringing, but he was already out in the real world for two years when I met him, so why he had never encountered any of it is a mystery. With, in my eyes, an easy explanation.”

4. Lack of Social Skills

“Again this could be his upbringing, sure, but even then. If he isn’t lying about his family that is eleven children and parents along with an entire church to communicate with. You still pick up stuff like personal space.”

Dean appeared again and said: “I’ve laid out this evidence to some of my friends, this were their reactions.”

It cut to Sam sitting on a chair, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Sam asked: “Do we really have to do this, Dean?”

“Yes,” Deans voice came from behind the camera, “just hear me out, okay. I get that you didn’t want to listen before, but I have evidence now.”

Sam sighed.

It cut again to Sam shaking his head and saying: “I don’t know, why you’re so invested in this. All of this has a rational explanation, you can see that too.”

“But the family thing is weird, right. It’s so suspiciously correct that has to be fake that just can’t be coincidence.” Dean protested.

“Actually,” Sam replied, “humans have a weird sense of perception about coincidence. So much happens at one moment in the world that something strange or usual is bound to happen, we classify that as coincidence, but it’s just statistics, Math. It’s very interest-”

“Yeah, whatever, nerd.” Dean interrupted, “So, you don’t believe me.”

“No, Dean. I don’t.” Sam told him, “Can I go now?”

“Yeah.” Dean sighed, before it cut to Charlie sitting in the same chair.

Dean asked her: “So do you know why you’re here?”

Charlie nodded: “Yes and I am willing to hear you out.”

“You are?” Dean said, excitement seeping into his voice.

Charlie nodded, then it cut to her reading the final notes in the folder. She bit her lip and said: “I don’t know, Dean. Some off this is pretty suspicious, but I wouldn’t call it evidence of Cas being an angel or other immortal. I mean, the church can be weird.”

“But the History thing is definitely suspicious, right? I’m not being crazy about that?” Dean asked

Charlie answered: “Well, it wouldn’t surprise me, if he had developed a special interest in ancient Christian history while growing up and if he used to be a heavy believer then I suspect he must have thought a lot about how Jesus must have been and stuff.”

Dean huffed, but didn’t respond.

There was a shaky video of Ellen saying: “Dean, I have a bar to run, I don’t have time for your bullshit.”

But then Jo was in the chair and she said: “Dean, I love you and all, but I’m not doing this.”

“Please, just hear me out.” Deans voice was tired and it cracked, Jo relented.

In the end she said: “This is all strange, sure. I might have believed a bit of it, if I hadn’t known Cas. I mean, come on. He’s a dork and a teacher. He loves you, Dean. Don’t ruin that over something stupid.”

A sigh was heard.

After that it was Bobby, who was sitting on the chair. He didn’t look all that pleased. Most knew Bobby from Deans series about Baby where he would sometimes help or appear in the background and stories about Deans childhood.

Dean said: “Bobby, you know me, right?”

“I’d hope so, boy. I practically raised you.” Bobby replied.

“Exactly,” Dean said, “so you know, I’m not one to make random claims about this.”

“I do.” Bobby sighed, clearly not liking where this was going.

“Great.” Dean exclaimed happily, “Because I have collected a bunch of evidence and I want your opinion on it.”

It cut to Bobby rubbing his forehead while he read the last bits of evidence. He looked up and said: “I think you’re grasping at straws, right now. There are more logical solutions than this, but you’re ignoring ‘em, because you want to see this.”

Significantly sadder than before Dean responded: “So you don’t believe me either?”

“No, of course not, you idjit.” Bobby replied, “I walked Cas down the isle, I think I know the damn guy. He’s not some immortal. And don’t go bothering Jody about this either, you hear me.”

Then it cut back to the disheveled Dean, who said: “As you can see they still weren’t ready to listen to me. So I turned to my last resort, Gabriel. Castiels older brother.”

Gabriel was lounging in the chair, smirk playing on his lips and lollipop in hand. He smiled: “Dean-o, it this what it’s come to? Crawling to me?”

Dean sighed from behind the camera and said: “It was either you or Michael, you’re the least worst option.”

“Ahw, you flatter me.” Gabriel said with a wink, then he asked: “So, what is this all about?”

Dean answered: “I’m trying to prove that Cas is an angel, or an other sort immortal, but main theory is angel. I figured you were the best bet to get to the truth.”

The moment the word ‘angel’ left Deans lips, Gabriels face fell although he quickly tried to cover it up. He tried to laugh it off: “You’re being ridiculous. Little Cassie is a nerd, sure, but immortal. Sorry, but that’s hysterical. Besides, how else would you explain me, or the other people at the wedding?”

“I don’t know, other angels? Actors? Lot of possibilities. Maybe it was mind control.” Dean replied.

Gabriel laughed and shook his head, but when he looked up his face was completely serious as he said: “Stop searching, Dean. You won’t find anything, just love your husband in peace and live a long and happy life, okay.”

Dean swallowed thickly and shakily said: “Okay.”

Then it cut back to Dean from before, who said: “As you can see, he wasn’t very helpful. Although he did kind of scare me, the guy nearly threatened me, but he also made Cas more suspicious. He’s hiding something, I can feel it.”

“Anyway, none of my outside resources were helpful, so it’s time to look at our subject himself, Cas.” Dean said and the screen warped to a vlog.

It was filmed in such a way that it was obvious that Dean was trying to be stealthy. It showed Castiel doing the dishes, after a second Dean asked: “Why don’t you use the dishwasher, sunshine?”

Cas looked around and shrugged: “I don’t trust it, Dean. Machinery doesn’t seem to like me and I have not come to an agreement with the dishwasher yet, maybe later.”

Dean laughed: “The dishwasher is not a businessman, Cas. Here I’ll load it in.”

Then it changed to the living room, specifically the couch. It was a solid couch, easily a 1000 pounds. Dean yelled: “Caaaaas!”

From the distance came: “What is it, Dean?”, along with footsteps.

“I dropped my phone and accidentally kicked it under the couch. Can you help me?” Dean answered.

Cas looked at the couch and nodded. First he tried to fit his hand under and swipe the phone out from underneath it, but when that didn’t work, he grabbed the underside of the couch and lifted it as he told Dean to grab his phone, which he did.

Dean smirked at him and said: “Wow, Cas, very sexy. Have you been going to the gym lately?”

He only got an eyeroll in return along with a quick kiss, before Cas disappeared.

What the viewers didn’t get to see was the small carjack that had been carefully edited out, along with Sam, who had operated it.

Then it was Dean running up to Cas, yelling: “Smile, angel!”

Castiel turned to him like a deer in headlights and blinked heavily when the flash nearly blinded him. What was peculiar about this moment was the fact that his eyes seemed to glow an intense light blue, almost as if he was illuminated from the inside, which had been an easy edit, but it looked very cool, if Dean was being honest.

After that Dean said: “I showed these clips, along with a few others that are, admittedly, less convincing to my friends.” followed by a quick compilation of Sam, Charlie, Jo and Bobby shaking their heads and telling him he was an idiot or other variations thereof, “As you can see, they were still unconvinced.” Dean finished.

“They were unconvinced, what I have set out to do isn’t achieved. They aren’t listening and they aren’t seeing the truth. I know what I see, I know what Cas is. And they are just blind for the truth.” Dean told the audience, “So, I’m trusting you to open your eyes and see what is out there. Please, look at this and see the truth.”

Then it went to the endcard. Dean waved and said: “That was it for today. I hope you can support me and tell me that I’m not crazy. If you do, comment about it, like this video, share it to get the word out. Maybe subscribe and ring that bell, so you won’t miss out on any updates about it. Bye Hunters, see you on the-”

He was cut of by the slam of a door. He startled and looked over, but before he could get over the shock the lights overhead exploded and the room went dark. You could hear the heavy and angry voice of Castiel, who bellowed: “Dean Winchester, you have not listened to the warning Gabriel gave you. Your time has come.”

Then the video ended.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh my god is he okay?!!!?!?!?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Pff anyone who believes this

shit is an idiot

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know this is probably fake,

but I’m scared now

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Don’t lie, who’s been a fan of

Dean since day one?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay, but are we gonna talk

about Gabriel???

No?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You’re not crazy Dean. I once

saw a ghost. The supernatural

is out there and Castiel can be

who you say he is. We don’t

know what the paranormal has

in store for us. Keep believing,

keep fighting!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dudes, if he had time to edit and

upload it then he’s prbbly fine

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Should we call the police??

Is he ok???

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean be looking like a raccoon

and still be hella fine

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cass talking about Jesus is such

a mood, my Christian ass can

relate

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

IS HE DEAD?? DID DEAN JUST DIE!!! HELLO??? ANSWERS PLEASE!!!

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Really? After all the sweet and

loving Cas content we got, we’re

supposed to believe this??

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Get yo self a man whos willing

to make a fake docu bout you

pretending to believe youre an

actual angel

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~

Dean was grinning as he scrolled through the comments on his latest videos. He was quite proud of it honestly and was very happy with how it had turned out and the reaction of the fans. Cas saw him smiling and asked: “So I take it, it went well.”

Looking up Dean said: “Yeah, you might have to answer some questions tomorrow, if you want those kids to trust you after ‘murdering me’.”

Cas groaned, but couldn’t suppress the smile and fond eyeroll.

Then the phone rang, Dean looked at the screen with surprise, but smiled when he saw who was calling. It was Sam, the picture of him sleeping with a plastic spoon in his mouth lighting up the screen. He picked up: “Heya, Sammy.”

Sam answered: “Dean, come save me.”

“What is it?” Dean asked, serious brother mode instantly activated.

But it was lost with Sams answer: “I know you’re trying to sell the whole ‘I got murdered by my own husband who is an angel’-stick, but you’re fans are worried and mobbing me on Twitter demanding answers.”

Dean laughed and relayed what Sam had said to Cas, who also chuckled. Then Dean turned back and said: “I’ll do something about it.”

“Somehow that’s not very comforting.” Sam said.

“Don’t worry about it, Sammy.”

“That isn’t helping.”

“I said don’t worry about it.”

“Dean? … Dean! … Dean!”

Dean hung up and turned to Cas as he asked: “Would you mind filming me?”

An hour later a video was posted on Deans Twitter and Instagram. It was off Cas walking into the living room, where an unharmed Dean was sat on the couch. Cas said: “Hello, Dean.”

Dean looked his way and smiled: “Hey, angel. What’s up? Why are you filming?”

Cas replied: “Some off your fans were worried about you after your last video, so I’m showing them you’re okay.”

Dean frowned and asked: “Why would they worry about me? It was just a dumb video doing Just Dance, not flattering, but hardly worrisome.”

“Don’t you remember your funny little video about me and some conspiracy?” Castiel asked, way too innocently.

Dean frown deepened and he looked confused and he said: “What are you even talking about?”

“Nothing, it was all just silly. Don’t worry about okay?” Cas answered, still holding onto that innocent voice.

Dean smiled at him and said: “Whatever you say, sunshine.”

Then it was over, needless to say that fans weren’t reassured, neither were the kids at school the next day, when Cas pretended he had no idea what they were talking about and shut them down the moment they tried to show him the video on their phones.

@Deanmustbeprotected posted about it on their Insta and multiple conspiracies were posted on every platform.

Dean and Cas along with everyone they’d gotten involved watched from the sidelines with amusement. Mission accomplished!

[useless-catalanfacts]

Hie! As a non spanish person with Catalan friends who get really heated up with the subject and cant explain it thru. Why is that they want to separate from spain? And havent they done like 4 or 5 referendum thingies to gain independence and they've all turned our negative or whatever it is that means we wanna stay? I come in peace and hope not to get shouted at like my friends did to me when I asked. Sincerely, the Tall Friend

I think you’re confusing Catalonia with Quebec or Scotland or some other country. We’ve had 1 independence referendum and yes to independence clearly won it. The pro-independence political parties have also been winning the elections every time since 2012.

Let’s start with the beginning.

What is Catalonia? And what was Catalonia?

Catalonia is a country with its own language (Catalan), culture, and history. It developed in the Middle Ages, when it was an independent country.

As you can see, we have two neighbours: Spain and France. As you will probably know, those are two of the most imperialistic countries in Europe (they colonised Latin America, the Caribbean, parts of Africa, the Philippines, etc).

I will try to explain the historical part as fast as possible so we can get to nowadays, but to understand the situation you need a bit of historical context.

Before going to invade lands far away, the European colonial powers invaded their neighbours and fought other European countries. Catalonia, because of its location and importance in Medieval Mediterranean commerce, was targeted.

In 1469, the Queen of Castilla (Spain) and the King of Catalonia-Aragon got married. This was normal at the time and did not mean that the two countries became one. On the contrary, each country remained independent, just that with the same monarchy. It didn’t really matter for Catalonia because Catalonia was ruled by a Parliament (and the king didn’t really have that much power), but Castilla (Spain) was an absolute monarchy (meaning that the King had all power).

With time, the kings and many Spanish people started to really hate Catalans because they were seen as un-Christian for having other forms of government than the Catholic absolute monarchy. And since Catalonia had its own laws and traditions, those were seen as un-Christian and traitorous. Most of the greatest writers, politicians, nobles, etc of the Spanish Golden Century (1500s-1600s) were openly very Catalanophobic.They said Catalans are “the most miserable creature ever created by God”, “a monstruous abort of politics”, “an illness against the kings”, all Catalans were often called thiefs, or that “it is well known the obstinity and savagery of this people [Catalans], the most criminal of all” (all of these are literal quotes). Catalans were also said to be guilty of spreading Judaism in Spain for whatever reason.

(In fact, even nowadays fascist Spanish people often tell Catalans and Basques to “speak Christian” meaning to speak Spanish instead of our languages).

Spain wanted to force all population to convert to Christianism (at that moment a lot of the population, especially in the south, was Muslim), and to become a Castillian (that is, a Spaniard in the modern sense of the word: speak only Spanish, be Catholic, have an absolute monarchy, celebrate Spanish celebrations, etc). This is the moment when Spain did the expulsion of Jewish and Moorish people and when it started its repression of Catalan, Basque and Romani people.

Castilla (Spain) tried to gain as much power as possible in Catalonia, convinced the upper classes of Catalonia that they had to abandon the Catalan language (which they considered a “peasant’s language” and not evolved enough for finer minds), and so the upper classes started to speak Spanish and try to imitate the Spanish way of doing everything. But practically everyone kept speaking Catalan, and Catalonia remained independent (with its own laws, parliament, insititutions, etc).

Until there was a moment where the Spanish monarchy couldn’t stand that Catalonia has such a different political system. In the year 1714, Spain (Castilla) won the War of Spanish Succession against Catalonia and other territories, and proceeded to invade Catalonia and the other Catalan-speaking territories (Valencia and the Balearic Islands).

Spain teamed up with France, which means they were the two most powerful armies in Europe. Obviously, Catalonia-Aragon lost the war, and was invaded.

The invasion meant that Spain could finally do what they wanted with this land: they banned our language and imposed Spanish, they eliminated our traditional laws, they eliminated our institutions and imposed the Spanish absolute monarchy, they imposed Spanish “gobernadores” (governors) to rule our lands, they burnt down whole towns, they closed our universities, they forbid schools for ever speaking in Catalan or teaching Catalan history, they forbid churches to say mass or teach Catechesis in Catalan, they killed many of those who had fought to defend Catalonia from the Spanish invasion publicly to humiliate them (for example, general Josep Moragues was killed after being dragged alive by a horse through the streets of Barcelona and then killed and his head was displayed as a warning in the entrance to Barcelona for 12 years, even with his widow’s begging), among many other things.

Please, see this post for a list of laws made against the Catalan language between the 16th and 19th centuries. And this post for the laws between 1900 and 2016 (when I made the post, I could say more laws now).

After the invasion of Catalonia, the idea that Catalans must be “Spanishized” and that speaking Catalan makes us inferior spread more and more among Spanish people, as did the general hate against us. This is why Catalonia was often victim of Spanish soldiers’ rape, stealing harvest, etc without facing any consequence, because the Spanish kings and officials allowed it.

France also tried to invade us many times, then Spain invaded back, then France, then Spain... but I won’t get into that because it would make this post unnecessarily long.

The worst moment though, was definitely the fascist dictatorship of Franco (1939-1978).

Fascism in Spain adds Catalans (as well as the other national minorities: Romani people, Basques, Galicians, Asturians, etc) to their list of enemies.

Catalonia was always a progressist place, and in the 1930s a huge part of Catalans was anarchist. Fascism made a coup d’etat which they called “a crusade against the reds”, and Catalans were not only targeted for being Catalan but also for being all seen as “reds” (anarchists and communists) and atheists. The anthem of the fascists (called Cara al sol) said “Catalan, Jew, and renegade [atheist], you’ll pay for what you have done”.

The fascist coup d’etat did not triumph in Catalonia thanks to the resistance of the antifascist unions and the Government of Catalonia, which organised civilians militias. Sadly, in the end the fascists won the war (Spanish Civil War) and established a dictatorship. They killed the president of Catalonia and thousands more people who opposed them. Everyone who defended the right to speak Catalan was tortured and killed. Schools were forbidden from teaching in Catalan or mentioning Catalan history, literature, etc. Catalan teachers were fired and either killed (many teachers were leftists) or forced to go to a rural village far away from their home, and schools in Catalonia were replaced by Spanish fascist teachers or people from the Spanish army. These teachers beat the children if they were heard speaking in Catalan. Schools taught the superiority of Spain and the Spanish language and the glory of the Spanish empire. Children were made to sing the fascist anthem and pray every day before starting class. Some Catalan traditions were banned, such as our traditional dance. Many of our traditional songs were also banned, and people even went to jail in for singing them (for example, la Santa Espina). Every family knows people who were tortured and/or killed by the regime, sometimes for no reason, sometimes for their political beliefs.

The dictator died in 1975 and Spain entered a phase known as the “transition to democracy”. Catalonia was given a bit of self-government (not much) and our language was legalised to use at schools.

Even with this, we have whole generations born and raised under the fascist regime who were brainwashed into hating Catalans, Basques, Jews, atheists, etc. And even in Catalonia, there are still people who are ashamed of being Catalan. For example, the neonazis who murdered Miquel Grau and Guillem Agulló (two Valencian young men who were targeted for being independentists) were not from other parts of Spain.

It is scary, because our country is controlled by another one which is full of people who hate us, and the Spanish governments have always (even nowadays) discriminated Catalonia in front of other regions and actively work against us.

Many people wanted to try to be able to keep our language (which was weakened by the fact that it was persecuted for most of the 20th century) and pass different laws. Spain is very conservative, Catalonia is not. If you look at the maps every time there are elections, you can see the voting results in Spain vs. the voting results in Catalonia and the Basque Country are very different.

So the governments of Catalonia have been asking the Spanish government to have a few more control over our own territory (Spain is very centralist, so most power is in the hands of a central government in Madrid). Spain has always said NO. Please see this previous post with a video that explains all the ways we have tried.

Catalans basically were saying “yes, we will be part of Spain with no problem, as long as we’re allowed to speak our language and have some laws to protect women, poor people, etc”. Every time, we had less demands. We were begging that yes! we wanted to be part of Spain but just these little demands! But they never allowed anything. Spain still has a very imperialist mindset, and see our sole existance as a threat (that’s why you get the Minster of Education Wert saying in parliament that “we must turn Catalan kids into Spanish kids”).

So in front of that, people got tired. More and more people saw that the only way we can truly advance to a more equal and democratic society is if people who live in Catalonia can decide how Catalonia should be run, and not just obey the comands of a government in Madrid that has never had any intention of helping our land prosper, and who have an opposite idea of what the future should be like.

So we asked for an independence referendum. Many times. They always said no. So we said “fuck it, we’ll do it anyway”. So we organised October 1st 2017. Spain declared it illegal, searched for the ballot boxes and voting papers for months, sent thousands of military police to beat up voters and steal the ballot boxes with the votes, etc. The police brutality on that day was shameful, and yet the Spanish government and the King said the policemen were honourable for doing so, and many Spanish people gave them support too and greeted the policemen singing “a por ellos” (go get them).

Please, read more about what happened in October 1st and after it in this post.

Even though the police stole votes, physically stopped people from entering the voting schools, etc. 43% of the people of Catalonia voted (in fact, over 50% voted but their votes were stolen by the police and could not be counted). And 90,2% of the votes were “yes to independence”.

Spain’s response? A democratic country would have found the solution to meet with the Catalan goverment and talk about it, maybe find a middle point, listen to the demands of Catalans... But no. Spain’s response was to jail the politicians who had taken part in the organisation of the referendum as well as the leaders of the main civil organisations, more people arrested, and arbitrary imprisonment in . They also took down websites that talked about the referendum and independence, said we had made up that the police had beaten voters (even though over a thousand people had to be hospitalized just on the day of the referendum as a result of police brutality and there are hundreds of photos and videos), and apply Law 155 in Catalonia (which means that the Catalan institutions are dissolved and Catalonia is ruled directly from Madrid. The party at the Spanish gov in that moment was the far right wing PP, which in Catalonia had only gotten 13% of the votes. That is basically a dictatorship).

And now, every time there is more and more repression. Some people ask us if we are not scared of the arrests, jailings, police brutality, etc. Yes, we it’s scary. But not protesting and remaining under Spanish occupation is even scarier. For mental health, I don’t think I could stand the rest of my life seeing how Spanish media treats us. I don’t want to see my grandmother cry when she watches the news because “it’s like Franco again”. I don’t want to see more of my friends in trials for things they have not done. I don’t want to be temporarily arrested again because a policeman saw me wearing a yellow ribbon (symbol of solidarity with political prisoners) and decided I must be up to something.

tl;dr Spain is a fascist state and we want no part in that.

Catalan people want to be treated as equals and this will never happen in Spain. We want to be able to pass the social laws we have voted for (to welcome refugees, equal pay for women, protect the Earth, abolish monarchy, not have political prisoners, stop evictions, etc) and Spain does not allow us to. The only option is independence.

Please, read this previous post and you’ll see how Spain bans Catalonia from progressive laws, and so how independence will make life much better for all its citizens. And hopefully, more Spanish people will realise that life is happier when we respect each other and work in cooperation for a better future.

[madebyleftovermuses]

Chapter Twenty-Six: All of Them Witches

Just because you were summoned against your will doesn’t mean you aren’t guest

Thank you, Mambo Marie,

I think Zelda is in love

Gryla, you’re pregnant and you want gin

Get Nick to help after he just broke Sabrina’s heart?

Hilda is spending time with her fiancé before she gets turned full spider

He saw the spider you

Pesta probably could poison land in her sleep

STOP SUGGESTING NICK TO HELP

Prudence noticed

Dark Lord sent Lilith the fetish doll

Is it a break or break-up? There could be some issues later

Prudence being nice to Sabrina

Cord-cutting spell….hmmm

Nick never thank Sabrina for sobering him up

The yule lads freak Ambrose out

“what can you do?” “I can drown you where you stand”

“some kind of witch” “Circe” like the name really matters, Robin

Robin travels with the pagans

“They are planning a slaughter that I will not be party to.” Poor baby hates the violence

Aw, Robin is falling for Theo

Robin switches teams

Virgin sacrifices

“And when exactly is this resurrection supposed to happen?” “When the Green Man's head scrapes the sky, and the ripe fruit falls from his arms.” That didn’t answer the question

“what the hell is he doing here?” no fucking idea, he just showed up

He does own a shirt

A proposal, a literal proposal

“What do you know about turning someone from stone to flesh?” “I'm made of clay.” “True, forgot about that.” Really? How can you forget that? He sprinkles it into every conversation

Sabrina going with Caliban so we can get Roz back

Neat way to leave

Harvey’s dad doesn’t wanna eat alone pretty sure it’s a set up

And look Medusa shadow

The glamour faded

Sabrina doesn’t know her Greek mythology

Caliban, she’s sixteen! She can’t marry

Caliban offering to take turning Earth into the tenth circle off the table

So, make hell great again?

“our alignment would be political and not romantic.”  Should have also said non-sexual

Lilith going to the coven

“But you must give me sanctuary. You worship me” for like a day

Lilith going to Mary

Roz broke 😭😭💔

Why not use the virgin witch as the sacrifice?

Isn’t it weird to tell your ex about the guy you were with?

Hilda thinking she’s gonna die

Aw, Dr. Cee telling Hilda she deserves everything

Pop’s!

Let her share her Haitian ways, maybe it will help

Mambo Marie was very helpful finding Blackwood in New Orleans, she’s not a stranger

Prudence has a point, they have to adapt

First of all its no longer the church of night because that shit exploded when Blackwood trying to take over the world

She’s a catholic, yes but she has magick and you don’t

Yes, Zelda, get to know her

mèt tèt, what is that?

Something is coming

Prudence is enjoying this confrontation between Mambo Marie and Zelda

You think? You’ve always been wary of newcomers

Prudence sees the sparks between the two of them

Theo and Robin helping with Roz

Is the Southside Serpents even still a thing?

Yo, carry your ass over the town line and go to Pop’s and learn some damn manners!

Too late you can’t change your mind

Or maybe give up something else that you love

Love how he just assumes Roz is Harvey’s heart desire when he does love his art

You would lie because you want Sabrina and Hell

Wow, really went to Mary as Adam

Really, Nick? You’re a fucking dick

Prudence lives for drama

Just a little bit scared, Hilda.

Really, Caliban stop trying to figure out Sabrina’s love life

Ambrose is like “he’s hot”

“The Devil has come to Greendale.” And has been for quite a while

Apparently not, Mary has no clue when the devil is in her own home

Who doesn’t want vino?

Damn the yule lads did some damage

Kitty!

That was much easier than they thought

Roz is a little behind

Well, Zelda brought a gun

Maybe if Hilda had told Zelda what was going on with her, Circe could have taken the spiderness back

Zelda loves her sister, she doesn’t want to kill her sister

A mèt tèt is a guardian spirit

Ew, Lilith and Blackwood

Zelda burying Hilda

Well, you never stop being family, you just went about your busy lives

So, she’s doing bother Harvey and Nick with the cord-cutting spell

Not Lilith!

MARY SHOT ZELDA!

BADASS LAST PUFF

[purplesurveys]

666

hi i’m a little drunk/hungover lmao so just a disclaimer if some of the answers sound a lil too out-there

What is your middle name? ‘Middle name’ is always a tricky term given the different naming customs in the Philippines. My second given name is Isabelle, but what means middle name here is basically my mom’s original surname before getting married, and I’m not giving that away haha. What was your first job? I haven’t had my first job but my first legit internship was at a PR firm. What is your favorite pizza topping? It’s not the most popular opinion out there, but barbecue chicken. I tried BBQ pizza once and never looked back. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? Katrina was the name of my first and only imaginary friend. I was annoyed it wouldn’t talk back to me, so I ditched her after like seven minutes. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Tobi, my rabbit. He was a sweet one.

How tall are you? Somewhere between 5′1′ and 5′2″ but definitely not 5′2″. List three celebrities that are your height. Lady Gaga and AJ Lee are sort of my height, but I can’t think of a third one. What was your first CD? Pretty sure it was the Camp Rock soundtrack. If not, it would be Beyoncé’s I Am... Sasha Fierce. Idk, they came out the same year. Does your zodiac sign fit your personality? I’m a Taurus, and I’d say most of the descriptions/habits attributed to Tauruses apply to me, but then again so do the descriptions for all the other signs. What is your zodiac sign? ^ What is your Chinese zodiac sign? Year of the tiger. Does your Chinese zodiac sign fit your personalIty? I never cared for Chinese beliefs, so I don’t know how Tiger babies are supposed to be like. What is your favorite color? Right now it’s pastel pink but I also like black, sky blue, and mustard yellow. What was your first favorite color? Purple, because it was my great-grandma’s favorite and all her stuff used to be purple. Which travel destination is top on your bucket list? Right now, it’s Thailand because of all the museums, temples, and street food. Plus I want to conquer Southeast Asia first before I head out to other continents, haha. Have you ever been on a missions trip? Never. Back in my old school they used to give out envelopes to each of us once a year so those who were willing could donate to fund the people going on such trips, but that’s pretty much my only experience with the whole thing. What's your shoe size? My feet can fit in either size 6.5 or 7 shoes. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? My first legit non-celebrity crush was embarrassingly my Grade 5 science teacher. But if we counted reality in the picture, it was Andi, in Grade 6. What color hair did your first crush have? Black. Does anyone know who your first crush was? Not really. It was a small crush and she’s since migrated and is hella straight, so it would be weird to bring up a crush I had ten years ago. It probably wouldn’t be as weird if we stayed close, but we have definitely drifted apart since then. Who was your first celebrity crush? Ashley Tisdale. And that crush was also the reason Ashley was my favorite girl’s name throughout my childhood and tween years haha. Do you keep a diary or journal and write in it frequently? This is essentially my diary. I wouldn’t say I post frequently, especially when I’m busy with school. I usually post during weekends when I have some free time. What was/were the best years of your life so far? The latter half of high school was great, and so was the second half of my time in college. The thing with me is that my adjustment periods in new experiences usually initially go down messily and miserably for me and it takes a while for me to warm up to the environment and the people. But once I do, I end up having the good time I had been envisioning and wishing for. Do you have regrets? I have one big one, but that’s it. I don’t like storing regrets in my head. What do you regret the most? I’ve always felt sorry for myself for having a hard time adjusting in new places. It something I could never help; my first years in high school were marred by failing marks and having no friends, and my first years in college were also spent having no friends, no place to stay in but my car during my breaks, and a lot of self-pity crying and self-harming in said car. I know it was something I felt and couldn’t get out of during the time, but I wish someone told me to just not be afraid and start doing stuff much earlier. There’s been a number of opportunities that I let fly by me just because I was depressed and moped around all day. While I’m grateful for the experiences I have now, I just regret the fact that I could have had more if I didn’t adjust so badly. Are you double-jointed? Nope. What are you allergic to? No allergies. Have you ever owned a designer purse? A couple, but tbh they are hand-me-downs from my mom. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses. I can’t imagine wearing contacts, I hate the idea of putting, dropping, or inserting anything in my eyes :/ Have you ever had to use an epi pen? I have not. Do you prefer online shopping or in-store shopping? In-store for clothes so I get to try them on or see their actual size; online shopping for literally everything else. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Like I said in a previous survey, I still question it to this day. I’ve been in one relationship so I don’t really have a grasp of what I want, but it’s never bothered me... it’s not something I feel pressured to know or discover. Demisexual seems to fit me best, so that’s what I go by most days. Did you ever dream of running away from home? I did, as most disgruntled, emo, puberty-stricken teenagers do. What color was your first phone? I think the phone itself was gray? but I got it with a red Winnie the Pooh case. Who do you know who is colorblind? I may know someone, but I’m probably not aware that they are. Do you know anyone with Down's syndrome? Yesssss, one of my aunt’s has Down’s and she is the sweetest, most adorable person. How much do you weigh (only answer if comfortable)? The only time this question has been asked politely lmao. I’m a little under 100 lbs. Have you ever been overweight? Never. I’ve always been either underweight or just...healthy weight lol. Name one friend you miss. [continued from yesterday, so I’m definitely not hungover anymore haha] Sofie. She used to be a best friend, so I miss her the most out of all my past friends. Have you ever made a huge mistake? I’d be surprised if anyone also aged 21 hasn’t made a big mistake in their lives. What pharmacy do you use? My family never really needs to go to pharmacies. Our go-to drugstore is Mercury Drug, if anything. Do you take a lot of prescription meds? Nope.

Do you take vitamins? I used to, but my mom stopped buying when I was like 15 or 16. How many pairs of Lularoe leggings do you own? Zero. Do you prefer skinny jeans or jeggings? Both sound uncomfortable, but I’d wear skinny jeans between the two. What color is your Christmas tree? Green. What color Christmas tree do you want to have in your hosuse someday? Just plain old traditional green would be fine. It makes everything feel Christmassy the most. What color house did you grow up in? It’s white with a red roof and a maroon gate. Have you ever been baptized? If so, how and where? Yep. I got a Catholic baptism and if I’m not mistaken it was in a church in Makati. Do you ever feel embarrased and think to yourself, "I'm so stupid"? Duh. Do you think you look better with long or short haIr? Short hair. I actually just got a haircut (my first in nearly two years) and finally got bangs like half an hour ago lmao. What type of wedding do you want? I don’t know about ‘types’ of weddings... but my dream wedding would be big but still traditional, held in a huge venue with lots of flowers with either an all-white or pastel motif (or a bit of both) and 200-300 guests with delicious food and an open bar and a great live band. Who is someone you wanted to be able to trust but just couldn't? An old friend back in Grade 5 who ultimately taught me how much trust is supposed to mean, Marielle. Do you read a devotional? No. What's your favorite devotional? Where did you go on your first plane ride? My family and I went to Boracay. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Rapunzel from Tangled. Are you taller or shorter or the same height as your mom? I’m a bit shorter. Do you wish you could afford expensive make-up? Nah, I never wear makeup so it wouldn’t make sense for me to buy them to begin with. Do you make some of the stupidest decisions? I make at least one every day. What country would you most like to visit? Morocco! Or Turkey. What is your heritage? Filipino. What was your first job? I haven’t had a job. Did you like your first job? What are all the jobs you've had? What are jobs you'd like to have? These days I look for money more than fulfillment, so I think I’d be happy with any job that makes me loaded at the end of the day lmao. Have you ever experienced something supernatural? I have not, but I’ve endlessly heard stories from family and friends who have. Do you believe in God? Absolutely not. Do you love God with all your heart? Who is your best friend? Gabie. Do you make your bed every day? Yeah I do. My mom requires me to and besides, it feels so much better coming home to a neat bed. How do you most commonly wear your hair? I usually wear it down. Which family member did you get your hair color from? All Filipinos have black hair. What is your natural hair color? ^

[alphacenturian4]

Catholics destroying Statues: Hypocrites or Theological Sound Activist                         Or On Christian Freedom, the Liberation from Cultural Taboos, and The Unrightful Judge

                                  By: Ramon Aguilar IV

           So, on Oct 4th, Pope Francis witnessed an indigenous performance at a tree planting ceremony in the Vatican gardens. The presentation was performed by Amazonian people holding hands and dancing in a circle around a wooden statue of a nude pregnant indigenous woman, said to represent the Virgin Mary. Participants sang in honor of the Feast of St. Francis and danced in manner similar to traditional South American Mother Earth festival rites. Pope Francis remained seated in a chair away from the ceremony bored, not amused, and not paying attention throughout most of the performance. The ceremony included bowls that held dirt from different places around the world, representing different ecological issues. The people set up a net on the ground that held pictures of martyrs for Catholicism and Christianity in the Amazon, mostly women and priests who have died to bring the faith to an otherwise polytheistic nature worshiping culture. Most scandalous was what appeared to be an old wise woman, which is coded language for medicine woman or witch, who approached the pope and presented him with a black ring, and seemed to gesture her own blessing. The black ring is a popular symbol in Brazil and Latin America of Liberation Theology, a movement that tried to marry Catholicism to Socialism. A movement many, North American & US, Catholics consider heretical.

The event was organized by outside parties including the Ford Group. The woman referred to the statue as "Our Lady of the Amazon." And the Pope seemed to bless it. The Pope then prayed an Our Father, and skipped his prepared remarks like any good politician would do when he realized a photo op went sideways. Then he left the performance without comment after the tree was planted.

           The bigger scandal is how Catholics then acted following this event, especially American and Canadian based youtubers and twitter users who claim to be Catholic. At first sounding like Savonarola at the Bonfire of the vanities, and then like fundamental Protestants railing against idols in the Church, and then finally like Muslim fundamentalist screaming for their religion, here Catholicism, to be the Prime religion of the world and calling for an end to religious freedom. The reaction made us look worse than the event which was already egg in the face for a church that has been rocked by one too many scandals in recent years, including unforced controversies concerning backlash from Ultra-Traditionist Catholics, people who literally want to bring Latin back into vogue, against Pope Francis whom they see as too liberal.

           Now, after watching the ceremony a few times and doing some research I’ve come to some conclusions. First, the supposed pagan ritual doesn’t seem to be one. I’ve done a fair bit of study on Pagan and Neo-Pagan rite and rituals and that was not one. Though it did seem to be stealing back or appropriating elements of native Amazonian rituals. Which is something the Church does allow, as some tribal African Catholic Churches do have dancing and rhythmic chants as elements in their celebration of Mass. And this is something I am familiar with as a Hispanic and someone of Native American decent. As we allow Mariachis, clapping, and hand holding at Spanish Mass. In fact, this performance looks very reminiscent of folklórico dances that might be performed around a religious theme such as the Virgin Mary whom is very popular among Hispanic and Latin American Catholics. While some might smear this as Folk Catholicism, the Catechism of the Catholic Church does give license for the Church to incorporate the customs of the cultures it assimilates.

           But there is one other aspect to this event that I am leaving out, that is the conspiratorial accusation that these statues were not of the Virgin Mary as Vatican official claim, nor even of a generic non-divine “mother earth” as some liberal apologist defend, but were actual pagan idols of the goddess Pachamama of the Andes Mountains and Incan civilizations; which would be odd but not impossible for Amazonians who have their own pantheon to be worshiping. Let alone self-professed Catholics, including a Franciscan brother, who would know better. And if it was a pagan rite dedicated to Pachamma it was done horrible incorrectly as her religion still exists and videos of her ceremonies can be watched on YouTube dating back to 2011. Her rites use a collection of fallen leaves, sacred fire, and a collection of stones. None of which was part of the performance at the Vatican.  

           Regardless of the legitimacy of the accusation, this led to some supposed Catholics, and two men in particular, to enter the Church of Santa Maria in Traspontina on Oct 21st, and steal the wooden figurines and then throw them into the Tiber River to “destroy’ them. Showing us Catholics to be reactionary, impatient, and petulant; if not simply short sighted to the precedent we are now establishing of it being acceptable for people to enter a Catholic Church and remove items that offend them by the example we are showing to the world who is watching. As the video of this crime (trespassing, theft, and destruction of Church property) has 60,244 views as of this writing.

           But my opinion aside, I decided to see what the bible, and what more specifically St Paul, had to say on this issue. So, I looked at what to me were the most relevant passages. Those being in 1 Corinthians chapter 10, chapter 5, & chapter 6. I have read these epistles many times over the years, and every time I do I find them eye opening, this time was no different as it changed my position and stance on this topic.

To understand this following interpretation of Paul’s writings we must remember that we are interpreting the bible spiritually, allegorically, morally, and analogically. Not strictly literal or historical, but instead metaphysical and theological, and for me personally with a philosophical lens. Now let’s continue.

So, let’s start off by looking at the performance and the gifting of the ring, and let’s say for arguments sake that it was a pagan ritual performed within the Vatican garden. What then?

1 Corinthians 10 verses 6-15 says this: “These things happened as examples for us, so that we might not desire evil things, as they did. And do not become idolaters, as some of them did, as it is written, "The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to revel." Let us not indulge in immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell within a single day. Let us not test Christ as some of them did, and suffered death by serpents. Do not grumble as some of them did, and suffered death by the destroyer. These things happened to them as an example, and they have been written down as a warning to us, upon whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall. No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. Therefore, my beloved, avoid idolatry. I am speaking as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I am saying.”

These verses serve as a warning that we are not above temptation and that we too can fall if we are unwise and not carful. But it also shows that all worship is sacramental; even false worship. St Paul also confirm the point, that an idol is nothing, as we can see more clearly in the verse that follow.

For then at verses 19-22 the theme continues with: “So, what am I saying? That meat sacrificed to idols is anything? Or that an idol is anything? No, I mean that what they sacrifice, (they sacrifice) to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to become participants with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and also the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and of the table of demons. Or are we provoking the Lord to jealous anger? Are we stronger than he?”

This passage makes several strong but quick and glossy statements. It reaffirms that God created everything, thus everything is clean, only sin perverts it. It is only the offending of sensibilities and the confusion it can and does cause that is the problem. For a person can no more change God than move a mountain with our bare hands or change the direction of a hurricane with the wave of a finger. And while we do have rights as humans which were endowed by our Creator these inalienable rights ought not to alienate us from the other. This is a caution against over confidence.

But I will take umbrage with a plan and simple reading here. For then we get to the mystical and metaphysical concept of demons. But I will take a conceit from Saint Augustine and assume that idols being of demons, or a gate way to them, has more to it than just the literal meaning. I think here the word, or threat of, demons seems to be a warning to the bronze age audience against the nondivine realities of sin, that there are temporal corporeal consequences and not just the moral, ethical, or metaphysical consequences we think of and seem to concentrate on as spiritual and religious people. So, the principle Paul sets up here is that you, that is we, must operate in regard to others, we must avoid what might cause scandal and confusion to others who do not know what we know and who do not understand what we understand and instead we ought to prefer what is beneficial and edifying to that which we may find tolerable, enticing, or entertaining. In that way we seek the good and wellbeing of the other person and not just the good of ourselves.

Through this we can acknowledge that idols of any kind are at best neutral representations, at worse a temptation to error for the uninformed, ignorant, unenlightened and fools among us. The strong should consider the weak. For, if idols can provoke God to wrath and passion; how can we mere mortals claim to be immune to their effects or presence. But the problem here becomes what we define as an Idol. As Catholic Churches are full of statues of the Virgin Mary and many other saints and even of art that contains devils, demons, and even Satan (even if they are of those evil spirits being cast out, defeated by our saints and angles). And again, I will steal from St Augustine and other Church fathers. Evil desire is the root of idolatry, not man-made things (that is the work of human hands). For the goal of a good Christian and well catechized Catholic is always to maintain koinonia that is “fellowship” and that fellowship, or unity, is more important than expressing already attained liberty. It also shows that God always provides a way to reject polytheistic rituals. For me, this was done, at the situation we look at today. When the pope said the “Our Father’ instead of his prepared statement.

           But this passage also looks at the other side of the coin on this issue.

For at verses 23-33 we read “"Everything is lawful," but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is lawful," but not everything builds up. No one should seek his own advantage, but that of his neighbor. Eat anything sold in the market, without raising questions on grounds of conscience, for "the earth and its fullness are the Lord's." If an unbeliever invites you and you want to go, eat whatever is placed before you, without raising questions on grounds of conscience. But if someone says to you, "This was offered in sacrifice," do not eat it on account of the one who called attention to it and on account of conscience; I mean not your own conscience, but the other's. For why should my freedom be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake thankfully, why am I reviled for that over which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Avoid giving offense, whether to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in every way, not seeking my own benefit but that of the many, that they may be saved. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”

Here we get to the nitty gritty of the issue. Liberty is not an end in itself, but a condition that must be maintained against the condition of slavery. St Paul and indeed the Bible itself calls on us to be faithful in difficult times; especially after being liberated from superstition and irrationality. Which for St Paul, superstition and irrationality, are a type of slavery to sin. On the other hand, he also acknowledges that narrowminded scruples are shackles for those who internalize others’ weaknesses, that internalizing of another’s folly is in itself an inclination to the temptation to sin. And here I agree with St Paul whole heartedly, as I think this applies to the situation both during and surrounding the ceremonial performance, its objects, and the gifts given to the Pope by its participants. But some might say that allowing such things is a violation of old testament law and precepts. And I, and St Paul would retort, but there is only one “Law” for Christians, that is Christ, that is the law of Pure True Love.

And here is where the Ultra-Traditionalist and Conservative Catholics get all relied up and call me a liberal. But St. Paul wrote a letter to respond to this inclination for outrage and indignation as well.

In 1 Corinthians 5 at verses 9-13, he writes: “I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people, not at all referring to the immoral of this world or the greedy and robbers or idolaters; for you would then have to leave the world. But I now write to you not to associate with anyone named a brother, if he is immoral, greedy, an idolater, a slanderer, a drunkard, or a robber, not even to eat with such a person. For why should I be judging outsiders? Is it not your business to judge those within? God will judge those outside. [Therefore] "Purge the evil person from your midst."

Here we get the command not sit with the immoral people within the church, that is fellow Christians who are immoral, that does not mean that you must remove yourself from the world that you live in. For: nonbelievers are not expected to be saints; non-Catholics are not expected to live by Catholic Dogma; and non-Christians are not expected to behave as Christians. In fact, Christians have an obligation to reach out, interact with, and be an example of a good person to a nonbeliever.

I would think that it could go without saying that this principle should also apply to the newly converted as they transition from pagan-heathen-polytheism, to Christian-Catholicism, for as that happens and the synthesis that has occurred with all other Christian communities occurs for them, we must tolerate the folk Catholicism that arises at the fringes of conversion as our expands in region or communities that do not understand our sensibilities and when they get it wrong this is our opportunity gently correct and instruct with temperance and patients. This how Christmas gets placed on the 25th of December, the date of the winter a solstice a holiday dating back long before the advent of Christianity, and this is how Halloween gets placed on Samhain.

As someone who likes a Christmas-trees on Christmas, I have no problem that they have their origin tied in with Zeus’s Oak or Thor’s Tree, and I don’t have a problem having All Souls day take on some pre-Christian Gaelic influence and traditions.

           As for the rest, as it relates to pagans, heathen, polytheist, and nonbelievers. It is the baptized Christian who should refrain from the scandalous sins inherent of mortal human nature. Scandal being the key word here. For it is impossible to avoid contact with sinners and thus avoidance of sinners should not be a goal nor should contact with sinners be feared by rightly formed Christians. But instead the goal should be to maintain inner purity within the Christian community. This is a warning against the perception of impiety, from the outside looking in, a warning not to look as if you are condoning sin.

           And it is here that my view on the actions taken by those two Catholics who stole and threw out those figurines changed slightly. While I do not agree with the fanfare and celebration by other Catholics at this action, for that in itself is scandalous and looks unchristian, the act of removing a temptation to sin from within a church, even if you know it is not a temptation for you, when others do not understand its nature and could be scandalized by it, as many many Catholics clearly were. Then yes getting rid of those two images, regardless of rather they were representation of the Virgin Mary that many Catholics found offensive because it went against their sensibilities or if they were actual idols of some mythical and very frictional mother goddess then yes they should have been removed from within the physical Church.

           But, what about the people who participated in the ceremony and performance at the Vatican garden, well St Paul writes in this too. He wrote in 1 Corinthians 6 at verses 7-12

“Now indeed (then) it is, in any case, a failure on your part that you have lawsuits against one another. Why not rather put up with injustice? Why not rather let yourselves be cheated? Instead, you inflict injustice and cheat, and this to brothers. Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor . . . prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. That is what some of you used to be; but now you have had yourselves [baptized], you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. "Everything is lawful for me," but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is lawful for me," but I will not let myself be dominated by anything.”

This is a warning that teaches that the love of litigation is the love of greed, while love of persecution is the love of arrogance and self-pride. This teaches that litigation and persecution of a fellow Christian are forms of retaliation not justice. Instead, Christians should possess generosity, mercy, and forgiveness toward the sinner and toward themselves. Turn the other check, after all. For it is faith and grace that saves us from the very worst of our own sins. While, self-persecution and the persecution of fellow Christians is something that St. Paul was indignant against and was loath to do. Better to be wronged or sinned against, than to do the wrong and sin against another.

[sagamemes]

love and other disasters (2006) sentence starters.   below the cut, you’ll find a total of 140 lines of dialogue from love and other disasters. as per usual, feel free to alter diction, pronouns and anything else your heart desires. i’ve edited slightly to fit roleplay and randomised the order. warnings for sexual themes, aids mention, marihuana use, cheating.

❝  well, actually i was just having lunch across the street and came to tell you the good news in person.  ❞

❝  why is it that as soon as i fall in love with a man, he abandons me?  ❞

❝  we fuck and then you say you don’t want a relationship.  ❞

❝  so despite your fragile beauty, you’re actually built like an ox.  ❞

❝  what other secret are you keeping from me?  ❞

❝  what’s more important, true love or fashion?  ❞

❝  you’re straight? since when?  ❞

❝  why else would someone like you have a coffee with someone like me?  ❞

❝  you make me sound like an exchange student.  ❞

❝  i can’t believe i drove him out of the country.  ❞

❝  what’s the point of shagging someone ad nauseam if you’re never going to love them?  ❞

❝  it’s okay. i forgive you. so you can stop feeling sorry for me or guilty or whatever.  ❞

❝  i think accidental meets are better... that is not to say accidents can’t be planned.  ❞

❝  i had to give his ego cpr.  ❞

❝  it’s just sex. he fills a void. literally.  ❞

❝  news of my crush just travelled across the atlantic ocean!  ❞

❝  you’d know if you were great.  ❞

❝  i suppose i first noticed when i was around 8. i thought it was just a phase, you know, but eventually, i had to accept the truth. i like women. ❞

❝  it’s a romantic comedy! how do you think it ends?  ❞

❝  i’m like, fuck that. i know i’m talented. i don’t need some ____ degree to tell me.  ❞

❝  have you ever thought this whole ‘true love’ thing might be a conspiracy?  ❞

❝  [full name] may be a giant, but you are a giant in waiting.  ❞

❝  three years and you still treat me like a one-night stand!  ❞

❝  the stages of a relationship can be defined by farting.  ❞

❝  no, actually, i’m very out of shape and that nearly killed me.  ❞

❝  i was so caught up in my head i missed out on getting to know you. and i would like to get to know you. i mean, if you’re willing to give me another chance?  ❞

❝  i've never actually been in a relationship except in my own head.  ❞

❝  so how do i get to know you?  ❞

❝  i don’t know that [name] is the love of my life. but i’ve decided to give him the chance to be.  ❞

❝  are you asking if i’ll still love you?  ❞

❝  there’s nothing more important right now than global poverty. i mean in the warming sense.  ❞

❝  that boy---gay as a goose.  ❞

❝  i think you’re exactly the kind of person they would have wanted me to marry.  ❞

❝  we had a row about his car. i told him i don’t generally get into vehicles that cost less than my handbag, he accused me of being a spoiled bitch.  ❞

❝  if you’re going to get any more in touch with your inner child, you’re going to need an inner nanny.  ❞

❝  was i right or was i right?  ❞

❝  he went to [public/private/boarding] school. he probably enjoys being spanked.  ❞

❝  where did you learn to speak [language] like that?  ❞

❝  what’s more important, anything or fashion?  ❞

❝  you /are/ a desperate fantasist.  ❞

❝  do you want to go to bed? you know, have sex.  ❞

❝  it would’ve meant breaking your rule to only to have sex with people you don’t really love and to only love people you don’t have sex with.  ❞

❝  i had no idea that under that shy, sweet exterior was such steely confidence!  ❞

❝  i’m afraid you’re drunk.  ❞

❝  truth is way too complicated. and unsatisfying. and hard to believe.  ❞

❝  i’m going to this black tie thing for my roommate.  ❞

❝  that’s not love, [name], that’s the flu.  ❞

❝  we work in fashion. everyone is an overpampered monster.  ❞

❝  [name] is going through a nasty divorce. she needs positive affirmation.  ❞

❝  i’m sorry, but [full name] stands for everything i absolutely despise.  ❞

❝  i think people shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds them.  ❞

❝  how very ‘all about eve’.  ❞

❝  i’m just nervous. he’s meant to have a ferocious temper.  ❞

❝  i’m probably gonna get fired tomorrow, but it was worth it just to see [name] in action.  ❞

❝  he came over and we shagged. then i asked how he felt about monogamy.  ❞

❝  and this is the person you think you could be in love with? someone you’ve never even spoken to? someone you’ve never even met?  ❞

❝  the only thing that’s changed is what might happen between you two.  ❞

❝  i mean, i had a bad age five. i had a terrible age five, actually.  ❞

❝  maybe love isn't something that happens to you. maybe it's something you have to choose.  ❞

❝  you could’ve worn something nicer.  ❞

❝  you want a brownie? i made them myself.  ❞

❝  i’m not miserable, and i believe in true love.  ❞

❝  well, you know what they say, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’.  ❞

❝  [name], pick out the sexiest outfit and go home immediately!  ❞

❝  i think my parents would have really liked you.  ❞

❝  i can’t believe you’re cooking dinner for some guy you met yesterday.  ❞

❝  an affair? you’ve only been going out for two weeks!  ❞

❝  nothing like a happy set.  ❞

❝  well, i better be off. my flight’s at 9 and i’ve still got to pack.  ❞

❝  my memoirs, darling. i’ve decided to publish.  ❞

❝  i’m sure you’re far prettier than [name]’s wife.  ❞

❝  everyone’s miserable because they’re looking for this nonexistent ‘thing’, or else they’re miserable because they think they settled for less.  ❞

❝  do you always judge people so quickly?  ❞

❝  you and [name]? you and---you and [name]? oh my god! oh, look, i... i.... i won’t say a word, i promise. cross my heart.  ❞

❝  i’m a superficial assistant at a major fashion magazine. you’ll ruin my reputation.  ❞

❝  stop doing research and would you write your goddamn screenplay!  ❞

❝  when’s the last time you’ve considered falling in love?---i’m not talking about some character in a book or a movie.  ❞

❝  [name] would have loved to come tonight, but thanks to the conspiracy of silence between the catholic church and the tories in the face of aids, he can’t.  ❞

❝  love isn’t always a lightning bolt, you know? maybe sometimes, it’s just a choice.  ❞

❝  there’s quite a bit of hash in them.  ❞

❝  i’m following your advice. i’m breaking my rules.  ❞

❝  i know i should have said something before. but every time i started, it seemed like the wrong time.  ❞

❝  everyone knows you can’t be drunk and tango. so if i can tango, then i’m not drunk.  ❞

❝  would it be alright if i borrowed an outfit just for tonight? i have kind of a date.  ❞

❝  actually, i can’t believe i haven’t tried to fix you up with him years ago. he’s perfect for you!  ❞

❝  can we not talk about my non-existent film career right now?  ❞

❝  well, i suppose i’d never have lived up to your fantasy anyway.  ❞

❝  you’re almost out of shampoo so i had to use soap.  ❞

❝  you broke up with him a month ago!  ❞

❝  i just remembered. i need a pedicure.  ❞

❝  for the last six months, you’ve been saying one thing and doing another.  ❞

❝  there is no need to be nasty to me just because i don’t remember people’s names.  ❞

❝  hello? i’m waiting! [name], when i have to ask for it, it’s too late!  ❞

��  that’s the problem with life. it’s nothing like the movies.  ❞

❝  apparently, he shags her four times a day and inspires her to write new volumes of poetry! isn’t that great?  ❞

❝  i happen to care about [name]. a lot. and i hate the fact that he feels more than me. and i hate the fact that i'm not in love with him. because i know i should be. because he's smart and sweet and decent and i don't want to hurt him. so i keep hoping that i’ll grow into it.  ❞

❝  you could’ve worn something, full stop.  ❞

❝  we can’t have you all alone in [city] on a friday night!  ❞

❝  so then i had to fuck him.  ❞

❝  he calls me five times per day, begging me to go out with him. apparently, my voice haunts him.  ❞

❝  oh, these are lovely, but [name] hates flowers.  ❞

❝  i promise i won’t make a pass.  ❞

❝  i’m going to enjoy making her feel stupid about this one.  ❞

❝  but you don’t like me in that way.  ❞

❝  oh, so you’re saying i should forget about him for purely geographical reasons?  ❞

❝  why are you reading a cookbook in the nude?  ❞

❝  since when do you say ‘lots of love, big kiss’ to your boss?  ❞

❝  i can’t explain it, but... it was amazing. because it was like i was finally seeing the person i’d been waiting for my entire life.  ❞

❝  we’re related, but only by birth. so don’t hold it against me.  ❞

❝  i mean, thanks to a chance encounter at a beach party, you hook up with one of the world's top fashion photographers. first class travel, exotic locations. you really hit quite the jackpot.  ❞

❝  i just wanted to tell the truth and somewhere along the line it got mixed up with a bunch of lies.  ❞

❝  i thought this whole dead animal thing was ten years ago.  ❞

❝  you don’t talk about monogamy /after/ you shag a guy...  ❞

❝  whoever designed those heels must really hate women.  ❞

❝  you’ve got to go. i’ve got friends coming over for brunch. ❞

❝  he never even showed, which proves my theory: he must think i’m a stalker freak.  ❞

❝  he’s in love with you, [name]. you’re not in love with him. it doesn’t get more simple than that.  ❞

❝  well, unless you want me to feel totally humiliated, say ‘yes’.  ❞

❝  i just don’t see much of a future together.  ❞

❝  you’re an artist, [name]’s an artist.  ❞

❝  he said you really sorted him out on the relationship front. and i could certainly use some help there.  ❞

❝  you’re not stupid, you just saw what you wanted to see.  ❞

❝  i just remembered [name] might have a boy at the house. can i stay at yours?  ❞

❝  we’re having a strictly phone-based relationship.  ❞

❝  i can’t help it, i’m naturally dramatic!  ❞

❝  oh, you know, i said how great he is, how he’s going to make the right [girl/boy/person] happy, how it’s really not him, it’s blah blah blah...  ❞

❝  i’m feeling small enough as it is.  ❞

❝  look, most great artists have to deal with rejection in their lifetime.  ❞

❝  see, this is exactly why i don’t want to be in a relationship with you!  ❞

❝  i’m always like this when i have to see my mother.  ❞

❝  maybe true love is a decision. you know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. to give to somebody without worrying whether they'll give anything back. or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one.  ❞

❝  the problem with straight men is that no matter how hard they try, they still need to control, to dominate.  ❞

❝  thank god you’re gay!  ❞

❝  you seem to think the only reason anyone would be with him is for this ‘jackpot’.  ❞

❝  i never felt ugly or fat.  ❞

❝  i’m not getting married without a maid of honour.  ❞

❝  he’s just the sweetest, funniest guy i know. if he wasn’t [straight/gay], i’d have married him ages ago.  ❞

❝  i’m a fantasist, not desperate.  ❞

❝  you don’t know me. and if you did, you’d know i’d never take advantage of [name].  ❞