#regulus cant go home

[lulublack90]

Prompt 29 - Ignore

@jegulus-microfic July 29, Word count 777

Previous part First part

The morning rush eventually quietened down and Remus came out from behind his counter to join them for a well-earned coffee.

“Lovely to see you again, Regulus,” Remus beamed at him. 

“It’s lovely to see you again too, Remus,” Regulus returned, equally smiley.

“You look exceptionally clean if you don’t mind me saying,” Remus said, trying to keep a straight face. That’s when James cottoned on that their conversation was aimed at winding Sirius up. It seemed Regulus bought out that side of Remus. 

“Oh, yes, the shower at my friend’s flat is outstanding, with plenty of room and perfect pressure. James and I could have had twice as many shower partners in with us and still had room.” Regulus and Remus kept peeking out of the corners of their eyes to see how insane Sirius was getting.

“Really? Sounds like a very well-thought-out space. I may join you next time if it really is that spacious.” Sirius’s left eye began to twitch. James looked around the café and realised that the majority of the seated customers were either listening to their conversation or watching Sirius’s face get steadily redder. An exploding Sirius wasn’t a new concept to their regulars. He had quite a following on TicTok, not that he knew about it. Some of his clientele filmed him when he went off on one and posted them on th site.  James was their number one fan. He spotted a squat man trying to sneakily film the conversation. Judging by the phone case that had a cartoon rat on it, this was the infamous Wormtail. He filmed and shared a lot of videos of people shouting and Sirius was his favourite muse.

“Evan and Barty would love that. But just a warning, they are looking for a third,” That was the final straw, Sirius blew up.

“Twice! Twice you’ve been in here. I haven’t seen you for five years. You come back and the first thing you do is steal my best friend, and now you’re trying to set my boyfriend up?! Nope, you can go straight back to that house of horrors you call home!” Sirius raged across the café. Regulus froze. He ducked his head and whispered. 

“No,” It was just like earlier when James had mentioned Grimmauld Place. 

“Hey, Sirius, stop, yeah,” James put his hand up, trying to get Sirius to leave him alone. 

“No, he can’t just come here and upset everything then go back to Mumsie and Dadsies as if nothing happened.” Sirius stomped across the room. Remus looked at Regulus’s reaction and tried to stop Sirius himself. 

“Hey, sweetheart, let’s stop, yeah. James and Regulus are going now anyway.” Remus stood up and tried to herd Sirius back into the kitchen. James grabbed Regulus’s hand and forced the tense man to his feet. 

“Yeah, go on then, baby brother, go on home to your precious mummy and daddy.” Sirius sneered at him. Regulus turned back to look at Sirius, tears in his eyes. 

“I can't, they kicked me out,” Regulus choked. James couldn’t believe he’d missed that. How had he not realised? They’d seen each other every day. But Regulus never spoke about his parents, unlike James, who could talk about his wonderful parents until the cows came home. Sirius walked purposefully across the small space, all anger and annoyance forgotten. He wrapped Regulus in a hug the second he was close enough and held him tightly. 

“I’m so sorry, Reggie,” He murmured. Regulus stood still with a shocked expression covering his face. Eventually, he relaxed into the hug and held his brother close. “There's a flat upstairs, above the café. It’s yours if you want it,” Sirius told him. Regulus pulled his head back. 

“Really? You’d do that for me?” He snuffled and wiped away the tear-lines from his face. “Even if I take James up there to shag,” A halfhearted smile tugged at the corner of his lips. 

“Had to spoil this beautiful moment, didn’t you?” Sirius barked out a laugh and ruffled Regulus’s hair. He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and took one off. “Here,” He said, handing the key over. “Do not make me regret this,” He warned. 

James, ever the gentleman, scooped Regulus up into his arms bridal style.

“Come on, love. I want to hear more about this shagging. Sounds fun,” The customers in the shop clapped and cheered them off as James carried Regulus through to the back and up the little staircase to the flat above. 

“I’m already regretting this!” Sirius shouted after them. But they both chose to ignore him and get acquainted with Regulus’s new home.

Next part

[nixnight1]

I just saw this video and I had to recreate it:

Jegulus texting:

Regulus: Why did you leave me a 20 dollars bill with a note saying "Bye ♡"

James: For the bus. Wtf are you still doing at my place Reg?

Regulus: I just woke up

James: Why the hell did you sleep for so long? Lily is off work, she's probably going home

Regulus: Shit shit shit she's here

James: Hide somewhere!!

Regulus: I'm under the bed. You do something!! Take her out, she's wandering around the place.

Regulus: The note and the bill are on the table

Regulus: James?

Regulus: Potter?

Regulus: ANSWERE ME

James: sorry I was on a meeting

Regulus: FOR A DAMN HOUR

Regulus: when is Evans leaving?

James: Tomorrow?

Regulus: I CANT STAY HERE TILL TOMORROW

James: Just sleep, I'll try to make her pick me up

Regulus: Someone rang the bell

James: whom?

Regulus: a girl, I think she is your neighbour

James: Does she have dark hair?

Regulus: I don't know James, I'm under the bed

Regulus: Holy shit they're on the bed

James: Doing what?!

Regulus: You don't really want to know...

James: Hold on! I'll be there in two minutes

---

Regulus: That's you opening the door?

James: There's no one here, did you lie to make me come home sooner to help you?

Regulus: She's hiding under the bed with me

[deathnguts]

Barty crouch jr who’s a disowned trust fund baby who still gets a monthly allowance from his mommy and invests in tech stocks probably and lives in a huge ass apartment in a nice building but it’s literally not furnished at all and he never cleans it ever and he spends most of his time on high on his pc and he’s got the gamer sleeper bod with pierced nipples and belly button and the worlds sluttiest hip bones and happy trail under his stained sweat pants and the most dead eyes under his scraggly hair that’s in desperate need of a haircut he doesn’t feel like getting but he’s getting a new tat at least once a month and they’re usually from himself because he bought a tattoo gun online but doesn’t have a license to tattoo others and he literally only goes outside to club and drink and visit his mommy because what else is there to do and he doesn’t even try to make friends or start relationships because he doesn’t care about people and why should he why does it matter and he’s literally just the most burnt out loser you ever did see but he gets away with literally everything because he’s rich and pretty

Evan Rosier who’s just another middle child in a pond of siblings to parents who have never tried to look at him so they don’t notice at all when he leaves with a shit load of their money and never comes back and they’d give him more if he asked to keep him out of the house but he would rather die than do that so he immediately gets into the shitty office pencil pushing Patrick Bateman type shit that his father and oldest brothers did but in a business that wasn’t just handed to him so he can feel like he’s made his money and therefore his life himself and he lives the rest of his life that way with a grind set around hours spent in the gym and specialized diets and crisp tasteful fashion and very demure stoic presentation of himself to the world and actively cuts himself off from everyone around him because of the mindset he gave himself through this life style that everyone is below him and waisting his time so he literally doesn’t have friends or family and barely says any words or feels anything everyday but no one can see that because he’s too far away to make out and too good at painting a picturesque image of himself for anyone to try because he’s rich and pretty

Regulus Black who has never lived for himself and isn’t starting now so he ignores the voice in his head reminding him he’s a boy and chokes it to sleep every night with his long hair and flowing dress skirts and tries to assert that by marrying the rich family friend that raised him more than his own parents (who barely even looked his way during his own wedding that they planned) right when he turns seventeen and locks himself away in the perfect white house his husband made for him and keeps trying to nail on the mask of being the perfect little wife but he just cant and goes stir crazy and obsessive and is a nightmare to be around during his rising amounts of emotional breakdowns and if it were a hundred years ago he’d probably get lobotomized but it’s not a hundred years ago so his husband (Rabastan if you couldn’t guess) tries to distract him by funding some pity studies and encouraging him to go to an old and privileged college for useless degrees he’s only getting so he’s too worn out to start fights at home but it works and keeps him civil and mostly empty and comfortable enough to continue to be a half dead powdered and pretty wife that can continue to float through life with literally no one in his life sticking around through his tantrums and bone deep issues except his husband who wants him to stay that way for convenience and everyone is h the outside looking in thinks he’s just perfect and mysterious because he’s rich and pretty

Literally just the unholy trinity in a modern, nonmagical setting as the worst versions of themselves in a context we know: closed off rich young people who are bubbling with hate but too depressed to really do anything about it and too rich and privileged to have to so they genuinely believe what they have must be good and not in need of change because they have it all right?

Anyway then one day they meet and they feel alive for the first time ever maybe and smooch and stuff woo modern rich pretty douchebag romance.

I just need something like that, soemthing that showcases their flaws and genuine awfulness without sugarcoating it but in turn shows how their love for one another genuinely brings out the best in them. Just like remembering that they’re messy bitches but their love trumps all like actually. And who cares, they look fantastic together and they have enough to own your entire bloodline, there is nothing you can do about anything they do.

[sebbianas]

what if regulus ran away from home at the age of 18 disappeared for 2 years and then on a random night he comes to james and sirius’ apartment and tells them to just go with whatever will happen and then a few minutes later walburga black appears on their doorstep demanding regulus to fulfill his role as the black heir

and regulus goes “i cant be the black heir, im not a black anymore.” then he holds james’ hands and adds “im a potter”

(i need fake married jegulus rn)

[ellecdc]

helloo i’m freaking out

i just re-read “surprise! we’re making love” bc dah it’s a masterpiece and i’m obsessed w that fic and “a man with a plan”. (the way u write remus it’s just 🤌🏼FUCKING PERFECT ILYSM) and idk if i dreamt it or if there was a second part to that fic and pls if there was WERE IS IT I CANT FIND IT AND IM FREAKING OUT and if there wasn’t, im not gonna ask u to write one bc i don’t want to be annoying, but could u tell me how there story ends?☺️ i need to know they lived happily ever after in a beautiful cottage with lots of flowers and birds chirping

byeeee!! ilysm you are amazing hope u have a great week!!!💕💕💕💕

hahaha aweeee thank you, I'm so glad you loved it - I really like that fic too

and you must have dreamt it because there isn't a part two! I know how I want it to end but I don't think it would actually make an interesting or engaging fic (it would fall painfully flat in comparison to it's first part)

essentially, I imagine them talking more that night - reader saying to Remus "I'm engaged to be married....." and remus going "I know..............I'm a werewolf" and reader going "I know......"

turns out she was just as invested in him, she just hadn't realized it. but since being top of her class in astronomy (i.e., tracking moon cycles) and noticing peculiarities about Remus following such cycles, she managed to put two and two together.

they do sort of 'date' but it's quiet and soft and timid and maybe perhaps a bit awkward at first - Sirius is sort of against it and says something like "mate, you need to be careful - she comes from another world entirely, and they are not kind to their own let alone anyone else", which sort of pisses Remus off but he understands where he's coming from.

Remus plays a little bit of interference between Avery and reader while at school; showing up and sitting between them if Avery approaches her etc

now it's important to note that in this AU, I do have Voldemort BUT he's not the crazy fuck like he is in canon and it's not a war of sorts, but rather a political campaign and a lot of internal strife within the ministry

like canon, the purebloods/sacred 28 support riddle, with the exception of Crouch sr who agrees with pureblood supremacy but is running for Ministry of Magic himself

but my thought is that they get off the Hogwarts express at platform 9 3/4, Remus stands with his parents and Sirius and James with the Potters.

reader steps off the train with the Rosier twins, Regulus, and Barty and are chatting when the opposite half of the platform grows eerily quiet and readers name is called.

reader et al. look over to see readers parents standing with the Avery's and a very smug looking Avery jr., the Rosier's looking as severe as ever, and the Black's looking at Regulus expectantly.

Crouch sr shows up too, not standing with the other pureblood's but essentially on that side

and the group realizes they need to make a decision - the Rosier's don't feel like going back home to grey walls and apathetic parents who only had children to further their blood line and parade them around at balls, Regulus doesn't want to go back home without his brother to maniacal parents who use Regulus for political gain, and Junior doesn't want to return home to his abusive father who has never felt anything more than disdain for his son anyway.

and reader....well....she's not marrying Avery.

so the five of them shrink their bags, put their belongings into their pockets and they run

they head for the brick wall to cross into the muggle side of the station while dodging curses and hexes being thrown at them from their parents - an unforgivable from Crouch sr which actually finds him in Azkaban in the end

James, Sirius, and Remus find them all hiding in an alleyway in muggle London - the Potter's insist they come to their place, hire lawyers, sue their parents/are emancipated

and Remus ends up bringing reader home to Wales where they live in the Lupin's cottage and she's never been happier

lol

the end

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

not even joking fanon sirius doesnt even make me mad anymore (that's reserved for everyone else fanon <3) but he just makes me........... so sad.......... like bro is in a straight up abusive relationship with the man he idolizes more than anything. and he is IN this abusive relationship because of his HORRIFIC home life in which his parents use illegal torture methods on him weekly/daily and he severely lacks any healthy relationships around him, he also never gets any praise (because he's stupid&horrible&bad at everything) meaning he's just going around begging for validation and love? and it's just a joke? like he is literally willing to hurt himself like omg by bby??

(that one incorrect quote where remus kisses sirius' hand because he gets a papercut and sirius asks james to punch him in the face. how is that funny. i literally was so sad. wtf guys.)

and like he gets into this rsp after going through a TON of homophobia and hes like constantly made fun of because he happens to love his bf (who HATES him). everyone (namely his brother: well talk abt him dw) is like "you can do sm better than sirius lmao" and remus is like "yeah lol" like blatantly in front of sirius and sirius is sad and its a funny haha joke like GUYS ITS HORRIBLE

and like !!!! he has no support system!!! he has no friends !!!!! no one loves him !!!!!!! fuck love no one even likes him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hes constantly patronized and talked down to by everyone. his hobbies are taken over (pranks: remus remus remus, bikes: i dont actually know but ive seen a couple "remus on sirius' bike 💞" and sirius freaking out when like bfr guys) . his best friend. his BEST FRIEND. goes BEHIND HIS BACK. TO DATE. HIS NAZI YOUNGER BROTHER.

THE NAZI YOUNGER BROTHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOM HE WAS CONSTANTLY COMPARED TO AND DEEMED LESS WORTHY HIS ENTIRE LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO HE WA SALWAS THE SECOND OPTION TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hes their parents favored son AND his bfs favored brother and now his BEST FRIENDS favored too???????? go away. fuck you.

and like . his younger brother whom sirius CONSTANTLY TOOK BEATINGS FOR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH NO REGARD FOR HIS OWN SAFETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nad everyones like lmfao why is he overreacting ths is why no one loves him lets ignore him 💀💀💀

and like his brother btw tf like he s always th emartyr nd sirius is indebted to him bc its only because of regulus apparentl y that siriu s was able to escape like gsgnlksfskl

and the PRNAK!!!!!!!!!! omg sirius is like gone in ths universe ok theres no way it wasnt n accident he told snape that and then remus HATES HIM for MONTHS?????? kys he tried so hard

dont even get me on post azkaban "im sorry remus ☹️" "my brothers a hero 🥺"

ugh i cant even word thngs anymore. but like have these these made me REALLY sad.

im in tears. i cant believe you fucks took everything away from sirius and then left him w his trauma. and the fact that this isn t evn a fraction of whats going on, like ffuck you all

[luizd3ad]

Heyyyyyy :D :D

May I pleaseeeee request ploy!bartylus (that's probably spelt wrong) x reader? (Gn if that's okay!!!!) Like maybe reader it's supper into true crime or something similar but is a little over confident and a little stupid and keeps like kinda-ish-maybe accidently or not accidently seeking out active murders and not telling the boys before they go and like almost die now and then. or something. like anything is fine, I love ur writing so much ur so cool and amazing and thank you for existing please go drink water and have a lil snack that makes u happy and like don't eat a butterfly and idk ur very cool I hope you've had a great week and a good hair day and okay bye bye now um

I Was Just Curious... | Bartylus X Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Barty Crouch Jr x Regulus Black x GN! Reader WC: 1,623 CW: Talks of injury, being stabbed, blood loss, serial killers, murders, crime, police, swearing, polyamorous relationships. Author's Note: Omg, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out I've just been so busy lately thank you so much for the request and I hope you like it <3

ALSO HAPPY FUCKING SPOOKY SEASON EVERYONE!!!!

Summary: You cant help that you're curious...

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You were always so surprised that it took muggle police so long to figure out the identities and the patterns of the killers they were investigating. 

Honestly it didn't even feel like they were actually trying half the time.

It normally only took you about two days to figure out the identities of the people who were committing these crimes.

Admittedly you did have your magic and what not so that probably did give you what some might consider an ‘unfair’ advantage to the muggle police but that's besides the point.

The point was you liked finding out who these people were, you liked reading what crimes they had committed, obviously not to idolize them but because you were just simply curious. 

You were curious as to the why’s and what’s.

Why did they do it? Why those specific people? What drove them to this point? Ect. Ect.

So when you figured out that you could use your magic to find these people, that you could find out who they were. You perhaps got a little too excited. 

But who could blame you?

You finally had the chance to have answers to the questions that would flood your mind when you read about the heinous and disgusting acts that they would commit. 

So you would find them, confront them. Ask them the questions that would practically drive you mad and then turn them in. 

Was it the smartest thing in the world to confront murders and serial killers?

Absolutely not. Not in the slightest.

And your friends and boyfriends would tell how absolutely idiotic it was as often as they could. How they absolutely hated the fact that you were now putting yourself in danger in the name of curiosity.

The thing that bothered your boyfriends the most was that you would never tell anyone when you were going on your little ‘suicide missions’ as Barty called them. You would just leave, disappear without a word.

Now most of the time you would come home completely fine once in a while you came home with cuts and bruises, that would absolutely stress Regulus and Barty out to no end, but you never came hurt genuinely injured.

That was until today.

You had confronted a particularly nasty man. He was the worst of the worst at this point. 

He didn't appreciate being found out and he had no problem expressing that when he made the choice to come at you with a knife.

Now here you were stumbling into your dark and empty flat that you share with Barty and Regulus clutching to your side as the crimson sticky liquid seeped through your shirt coating your hand.

You had lost a decent amount of blood so you started to feel quite weak and dizzy already, apparating home probably was not the best choice in keeping your strength, but I digress.

You stumbled through the door clutching at your side bumping into the wall knocking over a picture frame glass shattering on the floor. You felt dizzy, weak and Merlin did it hurt like hell.

You were leaning against the wall for support, looking paler by the second slowly losing consciousness as you slowly sunk to the floor as the world around you started to fade into black. 

Eventually you had woken up to the sun spilling through the windows your eyes opening to see a white ceiling, the sun only making the white seem brighter. You couldn't help but close your eyes once again or the small wince that fell from your lips at the sudden brightens.

“Oh thank Salazar you're awake.”

You didn't have to look to know it was Regulus as he whispered; he sounded so relieved, so worried and so so exhausted.

You turned your head and opened your eyes meeting the sight of your normally stoic and well put together lover. 

Next to him was a sleeping Barty, he was curled up on a chair, his position looking beyond uncomfortable.

They both looked like hell.

They looked exhausted.

“Reg… Where…?”

You tried to speak but your throat hurt feeling so dry.

“Here, drink first.” Regulus helped you sit up slowly. 

You had felt a slight dull pain in your side where you had been stabbed. You watched as Regulus poured you a glass of water now realizing just how thirsty you were.

You gladly accepted the glass taking a long drink trying to help soothe your aching throat.

“We’re in St Mungo's, you've been passed out for over a day. Barty and I came home to find you bleeding on the floor… Y/N what in Merlin's name happened?” You had never heard Regulus sound so worried and concerned.

“I- I went to look for the man who's been killing people in London… he got upset that I knew it was him. He came after me…”

Your voice trailed off. You knew Regulus would be upset. He and Barty had told you countless times that you needed to stop but of course you never listened.

The sigh that left Regulus’ lips could only be described as disappointed and frustrated. 

“Why? Why do you constantly do this?! We could have lost you Y/N!”

It was rare that Regulus yelled or shouted but he had never yelled at you up until this point.

His yelling had woken Barty up to the sight of a very pissed Regulus and you looking down like a scolded child.

“Oh thank Merlin you're awake, angel.” 

Barty took no time to be at your side, completely ignoring Regulus and his scolding look. 

Barty tilled your chin up with his fingers kissing the tip of your nose and then your lips softly, he then looked into your eyes with so much love and relief that you almost forgot how mad Regulus was.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling? How's your pain? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine Barty, just a little pain. I’m fine I promise.”

Yours and Bartys attention was pulled away from each other when you heard a small scoff come from Regulus.

“Alright, Black. What's crawled up your ass? Our angel is awake and fine. You should be grateful that they're okay.” 

Barty turned and looked at Regulus with a glare. He was clearly getting upset with what he considered Regulus’s ‘unnecessary and bitchy’ attitude. 

“Why don't you ask them how they got hurt in the first place?” Regulus’ jaw was clenched a little, not bothering to hide his irritation. 

Barty looked back at you a little hesitant and confused (something that was very unBarty-like) he then looked at you with raised eyebrows waiting for you to say something.

You were visibly hesitant and nervous.

“Go on. Tell him Y/N.” Regulus countied not trying to hide that he was still very pissed.

“I went to confront the man who has been murdering people in London. He attacked me.”

“Oh for fucks sake…” Barty mumbled running a hand through his hair. “We told you to stop doing that, Y/N.”

“I know, I know and I'm sorry I- I couldn't help it. I'm just so curious…”

“We understand that but your curiosity isn't worth your life… we can't lose you.” 

When you looked up at Regulus as he spoke the last thing you expected to see was the tears brimming in his eyes. 

That only made you feel worse. 

To see one of the loves of your life with tears in his eyes killed a part of you.

“You can't do this anymore, angel. I had never been so bloody scared in my life. Walking in our home and seeing your lifeless body… I can't ever go through that again. We can't ever go through that again.”

Barty’s words pulled your attention away from Regulus for a moment, your actions finally dawning on you.

You had been stupid. So fucking stupid. You felt terrible.

“I’m sorry. Truly. I won't do it anymore. I'll find another way to cure my curiosity. I- I didn't mean for it all to go this far… to worry you both so much. I feel terrible.”

“I'm not going to say that it's fine because it's not, but we understand. We just can't stand the idea of something happening to you. You mean everything to us. It would ruin us if something happened to you. It's supposed to be the three of us. Forever.”

Barty sat on the hospital bed next to you, his hand resting on yours as he looked at you with love and concern swimming in his eyes. “Regs right, angel. You have to stop these little suicide missions. If me and Reg were only a few more minutes late, who knows what would have happened.”

“You're both right. I'm done. Honest.”

“That's all we ask, amour. We love you too much to see something happen to you.” Regulus sat on the other side of you putting your hand in his and kissing your hand softly, his anger and frustration from before forgotten.

“I love you both so much…”

You whispered as the exhaustion from your body healing and the high amount of emotions caught up to you, slowly you started to fall asleep. 

The last thing you felt and heard before sleep consumed you was Barty crawling up next to you wrapping you in his arms and then the soft sound of Regulus chuckling.

You always knew you were lucky. That you were lucky beyond belief.

You had amazing friends and two amazing partners that meant the world to you.

In that moment you had realized that your questions would just have to remain unanswered. That being here with them was so much more important than any answer to any question you could ever have.

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[the-hogwarts-university]

Welcome to Hogwarts University

This is a roleplay for the marauders. It is a college AU

This AU is Jegulus and I’m assuming Wolfstar, but that’s up to y’all.

Other relations can form later on/gradually.

In this it’s a bit of a “omg, they were roommates” mixed with fake dating.

@bralnwashed @printershorts Battle it out?

@l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft Sirius was taken… however, there is Remus and a whole lot available

Taken Characters Below Cut

Regulus @poetically-sleep-deprived

James @jamie-prongs-potter

Sirius @cant-wait-not-to-go-home

Remus @only-sometimes-moony

Evan @justa-wildrose

Barty @theoneandonlybcj

Lily @lily-loves-reading

[tea-blankets-andstars]

Marauders as things i have heard in school today

-----

marlene: *falls backwards off a table*

james: yass girl be the avalanche

-----

sirius: *says gen-alpha brain rot*

remus: you are the reason tide pods are child proof

-----

mary: its been two weeks and im still to scared to go to the bathroom, not for any perticular reason but like "what if" yk?

-----

james: DOGGGGGGGG

remus: it just pissed in the great room

sirius: OMG THERES ANOTHER ONE

remus: seriously why is there a loose dog in school

-----

*skittles wanting evan to sit in the back with them*

Evan: bitch i cant see shit

-----

lily: and this notebook is for homework, and this binder, and this folder, like WHY CANT WE JUST HAVE ONE FOLDER

-----

peter: i am confused. constantly. about nothing in particular. just generally confused.

-----

Regulus: guess what im doing when i get home

sirius: finally adding me in your contacts you little shit?!

regulus: no.

-----

james: its eggcorn season

lily: you mean acorn

james: eggcorn season

lily: its called an A.CORN

james: BUT ITS EGG SHAPED

lily: NO

james: EGG.CORN

-----

[regulusmoonbeam]

the tragedy of sirius raising their own brother. lets think about this. sirius: the father, the mother, the brother, the sister.

someone once said that having an older sister is like built in best friend, and first bully.

sirius isnt much older than regulus, but she found it in herself to raise him as her own.

but who raised sirius? he certainly couldnt raise himself. his examples of parenthood were walburga and orion, yet he still had enough in his heart to raise his brother (his baby) with love.

yes, the black brothers. but regulus' first word was a babys to his brother (his mother, his father) sirius. with the mispronounced r's, it was more of a 'see-wi', but it was still spoken. because who else would he call out for? certainly not walburga.

he climbed under sirius' covers when he had a nightmare, and his brother would utter words of comfort under his breath (they cant be heard, no) and in those moments it was only two stars, looking at the sky and wishing to go home.

"i wish upon a star," little sirius would whisper.

but they wouldnt be talking about the bright lights in the sky, they were talking about the little star in their arms. one condemned to a haunted house with living ghosts.

but. sirius still had to run. no star could stop him from escaping.

and regulus could never address his parents the same. because his mother, father (brother, brother, brother. it will always repeat.) left.

and when regulus left, sirius was still wishing upon a star. maybe the night regulus died, leo shined a bit brighter. and regulus was reunited with himself in the sky. closer to his brother than he had been in years, the dog star glowed.

[my-castles-crumbling]

lock - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 394 - NSFW, EXPLICIT

It was not James's fault that they were in this situation.

He wasn't made of stone, after all.

What was he supposed to do when Regulus walked up to him, with eyes like that, and an arse like that, trailing his fingers slowly up and down his arm like that?

And then, to top it all off?

He'd pushed himself against James. Whispered in his ear, "Take me home, James. I want you inside me. Now."

James was not in a position to argue with that.

They'd made it about ten feet into James's small flat, shedding clothes as they went, past the kitchen, into the living room, before need consumed them, both of collapsing onto the couch.

And how was James supposed to remember anything when Regulus was on top of him, sinking onto him and moaning wantonly, balancing himself with his hands on James's chest, rocking so slowly James could cry with the intensity of it.

How was James supposed to think of anything else when Regulus threw his head back like that, clenching his knees around James's sides, pushing down and riding him like he was born for this and only this.

And how was James supposed to have one single coherent thought when Regulus leaned forward and ordered raggedly, "Come inside of me, Jamie," causing James to cant his hips upwards roughly just as Regulus moved down. The resulting way their bodies connected, the depth to which James was able to bury his cock inside Regulus, made both of them shudder and curse, both so close to the edge.

And then.

The door opened.

And the world stilled.

"D'you think he's home yet?" a voice slurred from the kitchen. "Hope he made it home!"

And James's high came crashing around him. Never, ever, had he gone from so incredibly hard to so soft, so quickly.

"Potter." Regulus muttered, frozen on top of James, tone terrifyingly smooth. "Did you lock the door?"

"Erm. No," James managed to choke out.

He caught a look at Regulus's deeply annoyed and- slightly amused?- expression, before he heard Sirius yell out drunkenly, "Why the fuck are Prongsie's pants on the counter? What-?"

And Remus smoothly interrupted, "Y'know- I think we should go to mine. Let's go to mine, yeah?"

James had never been more thankful for a drunkenly excitable Sirius, or a very intuitive Remus.

[carniferous]

i need the dil bartylus thesis NOOOOWWW

bartylus is the failmarriage of ALL time to me i’ve spoken about this before but to me they contrast jegulus in that jegulus is a relationship with clear beginnings and ends. its tumultuous for sure but its tumultuous in a very defined way. jegulus cant be a failmarriage bc they’d get divorced. they’re too obsessed with defining what they are to each other bc they want it to be real and meaningful and it can’t be anything less than that

bartylus on the other hand…. they couldn’t define what they are to each other if they tried. they’re like the definition of settling for less but ‘less’ in this case is someone who understands you on a very a deep and fundamental level. perhaps better than anyone in the world. perhaps better than you understand yourself!! i wouldn’t say they’re ‘recognition of self in the other’ bc barty and regulus aren’t even other to each other…. they are each others homes and i mean in this context that both of these characters have the most fraught relationship with their respective homes imaginable. they want each other the way they want to go home (not at all — but also desperately). their relationship is inextricable from childhood. they hate to be reminded of their childhoods

and yet they’re not…. toxic per se! they’re obviously not healthy but they love each other in a way that’s very earnest (childlike). barty dreams of running away with regulus. he is the white knight rescuing the princess from the tower (he’s exactly like james in this respect). but unlike james barty doesn’t see running away as leading to a potentially better life for them….. he has no desire for freedom or salvation. barty just wants to do what he thinks will make regulus happier. and bc of this they will NEVER run away together bc regulus does want freedom. he does want salvation. he will never leave everything he knows unless he has the promise of something better, and barty can’t give that to him (and barty would see dishonesty about that as the greatest betrayal imaginable). so they never leave! they’re trapped together forever! stagnation! rotting! being seen this clearly is love but it’s also unbearable! there’s no mystery there’s no intrigue there’s just the cold acceptance of their fate and the comfort that at least they’ll bear it together except it’s no comfort at all because they COULD have escaped. just not with each other

and don’t even get me STARTED on brotherhusband barty…. there are like some obvioussss barty/sirius parallels and we’d be fools to think regulus doesn’t see them. to think regulus doesn’t want barty explicitly because “this person is like my brother if my brother wanted me” ?? regulus is someone who has lived his entire life wanting to be wanted come on…. he fucks barty because barty is like if regulus could somehow make sirius stay. and barty thinks this is sooooo sweet he indulges it he’s like “yeah reggie why would i ever leave you we’ve known each other since we were toddlers… we’re practically bro—” and then 5 minutes later regulus is sucking his dick and he’s like. wow look at regulus self-soothing! i’m such a good friend :)

in a modern setting they’re a category 5 situationship of unprecedented magnitude. like the picture you paint of regulus crying in his car after their 34th screaming-match breakup of the MONTH (how does this even happen. months only have 31 days max. were they timing it by the hour) is so perfect. ppl tell reg to see a therapist and he graciously does and after explaining it the therapist is like “do you think this might have anything to do with your childhood?” and regulus like “no?” and then proceeds to ghost said therapist bc on the way home from the appointment barty called and apologized and invited regulus over. regulus was like “okay but we’re not going to fuck” and barty is like “ofc not do you think i’m some kind of freak that i would be horny right now—“ cut to barty with regulus’s calves on his shoulders

[theoneandonlybcj]

Nice to meet ya.

Barty Crouch Jr here! You probably know me from my old man. Stupid Head of the Business Department here at Hogwarts University. @the-hogwarts-university

I’m a Business Major and I love to hang out and have a few drinks with my best friend Regulus @poetically-sleep-deprived and the love of my life Evan @justa-wildrose

Some annoying pricks that Reggie’s brother calls friends

Sirius @cant-wait-not-to-go-home

James @jamie-prongs-potter

Remus @only-sometimes-moony

I love getting what I want/deserve

My Rosie boy Evan 🌹

Butterbeer with the lads

Proving my old man wrong

[justa-wildrose]

hi

hello, i'm evan rosier

i'm a forensic science major at hogwarts uni

i'm french

adhd, anxiety, autism

i'm nonbinary (they/he), panromantic/demisexual

people i know:

@theoneandonlybcj my boyfriend barty ❤

@jamie-prongs-potter a loser; james

@cant-wait-not-to-go-home another loser, but cooler; sirius

@poetically-sleep-deprived a good friend; regulus

@only-sometimes-moony a nerd; remus

[singulxarity]

Jegulus microfic - Day 10 - Sugar

Word count : 498

@jegulus-microfic

On their 8th date, James convinced Regulus to watch a muggle movie. They were in the room of requirement, settled on a couch with a blanket upon them both. A muggle television set was before them and a black and white film was playing.

James' arm is on Regulus' shoulders and Regulus, albeit a little stiff, is curled against James' chest.

The room is silent except for James' breath coming at regular intervals and the sound of the movie.

"Aren't you going to walk me home?"

"You would like that, wouldn't you sugar?"

And Regulus cant help it. He has put up a facade and he cannot believe that it is a muggle movie that is going to break it down.

He snorts.

Regulus Black, second son of the noble house of Black snorts, and it isn't long before he's curled over, forehead against his knees, one hand on his stomach, the other on his mouth, preserving the slightest shred of dignity he has left.

Regulus Black laughs hysterically.

And he simply cannot stop.

The image of the man quirking an eyebrow, the self assured smirk on his face, and the sound of his voice keeps entering Regulus' mind, making him giggle uncontrollably.

Unable to support himself, he rests his head on James' lap, body still shaking. James is laughing too, not so much out of amusement, but out of endearment; wonderstruck, as the younger boy's face turns increasingly red.

Long after, movie forgotten, Regulus' head remains on James' lap. The two boys look at each other, James' hands caressing his curls.

"I like it when you laugh"

"Oh?"

"Hmm. One day, I swear on my life Regulus, I'm going to make you laugh like that. I dont care how long it takes."

"Well, I wont encourage it. My stomach still hurts."

The two boys speak barely above a whisper. Regulus feels something in his chest. It reminds him of sunshine on skin, bare feet on grass and hands on a warm body.

He reaches up for James' hand in his hair and presses a quick kiss onto the bone that connects the thumb to the palm.

A first kiss if you will.

And James. Delightful, endearing James smiles as if he has been given the world to take.

The older boy, as if in return, leans down and presses a kiss onto Regulus' forehead, on a small spot that isnt covered in curls.

♡

James does not know this, but he will be the reason Regulus laughs. When he returns to the dorm and sees Pandora, Evan, Barty and Dorcas waiting to hear every detail, Regulus will laugh, giggle and squeal, recounting each moment of the night.

Laughter is the sun that seeps through the canopy. It is the starlight that still glimmers in the thickest fog. It a feather light kiss that scorches you even though years have passed.

And it follows the two boys wherever they go. In the kitchens, on the couch and especially in each others arms.

AN - would you look at that? I'm alive once more. Let me know what you think, asks, comment, reblogs and likes are wholeheartedly appreciated and always make me smile. Sending you a hug♡

[ellecdc]

hello loveeee 🩷

can i request cbbh universe jily take harry to diagon alley and shop for school supplies before he goes off to hogwarts for the first time 🥹 i cant stop thinking of their reactions when harry gets matched with a wand (+ jily getting emo remembering their first time at ollivanders too 🥲) and james hyping his boy up as they get him his broom 🥹

this is totally not me tryna heal from canon trauma ha ha…

I fucking loved this - thank you for requesting! May we all heal from the trauma that was the canon HP universe.

CBBH James Potter x Lily Evans Potter // Sirius black x Vixen

The boys were practically vibrating with excitement as the group of six made their way to Diagon Alley. And by boys, Lily meant Draco, Harry, Sirius, and James.

“Okay, so we’ve got to go to Ollivander’s for your wands, Flourish and Blott’s for your books, Madame Malkin’s for your robes, and the Apothecary for potions ingredients. We’ll also stop to get you your own cauldrons...” Lily read from her list methodically.

“And we’ll go to the Pet Emporium and then we’ll get you brooms!” James cheered like a kid at Christmas. Lily wanted to chide him, but she was (nearly) just as excited as her husband and son.

“Okay,” Y/N said as she patiently patted her husband’s shoulder, urging him away from his best friend (and thus, a source of trouble). “why don’t you go with your mum and dad Harry, and Sirius and I will take Draco.”

“Wait.” Sirius barked dramatically. “Can we do the fun parts together?” 

“It’s all fun, Pad’s.” She chided.

Sirius grumbled but continued. “I mean the brooms and the pets. I bought my godson’s first broom – I’d like to buy him his first school broom too.” He stated with pride.

“And I’ve always wanted to carry on the tradition with my godson!” James said excitedly.

Draco laughed. “Aren’t mum and dad technically my godparents already?”

This earned him a gentle pat up the back of the head from Sirius. “Don’t talk back to your godfather.”

“Yes sir.” Draco said good humouredly and shared a fond eyeroll with Harry. 

“Okay. Why don’t we complete our checklists and then meet at Florean’s for ice cream before we do the fun stuff.” Lily relented.

Sirius and James cheered while Draco and Harry shared a high-five. 

“Onwards!” James declared. 

It was very important to Lily to get this experience with Harry, as well as for Draco to get this experience with Sirius and Y/N. 

Draco already lost the opportunity to experience this with his birth parents; he deserved this chance to make happy memories with his parents like Lily and James did at his age.

And she couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that had the war gone differently, she may have never gotten the chance to do this with her son. 

Remus and Regulus agreed to spend the day with Jasmine (Potter), Aurora (Black), Posie (Potter), Lyra (Black), and Leo & Stella (Black) at home for both sets of parents while they were off with the boys. Regulus grumbled and complained but also showed up to the playroom with an astronomical amount of craft supplies, while Remus was out-and-out giddy at the prospect of spending the day with his nieces and youngest nephew. 

Lily and James decided to let Harry choose which order they did their shopping in.

They began by getting him a cauldron and his potions supplies. James moaned and groaned the entire time, muttering about “Slytherin’s this” and “Snivellus that”, but Harry (the good lad he is) just assured his dad he wanted to get the boring bits out of the way first.

Then they went to get his books, which Lily was most excited about though James continued to whine. 

“Next year we should let Uncle Moony bring you to get your books, he’d be in heaven.” James said.

“Okay but only if mum can come too!” Lily called from somewhere else deep within the store. 

After they left the shop, Lily started trying to redistribute the bags so that they weighed roughly an even amount as they got heavy. She suddenly realised her son and husband were laughing at her. 

“What?” She spat in faux irritation.

“It’s like you forget you’re a witch.” James said as he looked at his wife’s confused face with unconditional love. 

James quickly cast a weightless charm on the shopping bags and shrunk them down to fit inside Lily’s tote bag.

“There ya go, love.” He said with a smack of a kiss on her cheek.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the heat moving to her cheeks. Some habits were hard to break, she supposed. 

They then continued to Madame Malkin’s to purchase Harry some uniform robes. They bumped into Sirius, Y/N, and Draco whilst they were there, and James and Sirius spent the entire time pretending to be strangers to one another exchanging pleasantries.

“Ah, nice to meet you, good sir. First time?” Sirius asked in a deep register.

“Yes, yes. This is my first born, Harold Jameson Potter the Seventh. And you?” James responded in like.

“Naw, this ain’t ma first rodeo.” Sirius said, transitioning to a (terrible) Southern American accent. 

“Yippee ki-yay.” James returned.

The boys were giggling from their platforms as they were being fitted, causing Mrs. Malkin to shush them as Harry received a stray pin to the shoulder. 

Finally, the part everyone had been most excited about, was Ollivander’s. Lily couldn’t help but remember her poor muggle parent’s – dragging a petulant Petunia behind them – trying to be supportive of Lily even though they had no idea what anything meant.

When a witch or wizard get their wand – the hope is that the wand will remain with them throughout their life. The wand chooses it’s wix, and throughout the user’s life, they learn from the wand and the wand learns from them. 

A wand is nearly synonymous with a marriage: perhaps more. 

Lily chose James and James chose Lily – but both could function without the other. If they fell out of love tomorrow, they’d both find ways to move on.

But Lily’s relationship with her wand is her longest relationship of her entire life, and without it – she would feel naked. The wand provides her with protection, strength, knowledge, and power. Without it, she’s just a girl.

And today, she gets to watch her son as he finds the wand that will provide him protection, strength, knowledge, and power throughout his whole life. She felt her sinuses sting as the bell rung above the door.

“You okay, love?” James whispered into her ear as Harry eyed the rows and rows of boxes lining every wall.

Lily didn’t trust herself to speak, so she simply nodded and offered him a watery smile.

“Oh, my flower.” James said as he rubbed his wife’s back, but Lily didn’t miss the wetness of his own voice. She knew he was probably thinking about coming here with Effie and Monty at Harry’s age (and his near doppelgänger) to choose his own wand. His parents would have understood the significance of finding his first wand - how momentous this moment would be – just as Lily and James did now. 

“My, my, do we have another firs- oh!” Mr. Ollivander started as he poked his head out from the back room, interrupted by the scene in front him.

“Why...it can’t be...but, wow!” He cheered as he came around the register. 

“Introduce yourself, Haz.” Lily encouraged her son.

“I’m Harry P-”

“Potter, yes." Ollivander completed for Harry. "Of James Fleamont Potter who was matched with an 11-inch mahogany wand with a dragon heartstring around this time about twenty years ago. And Fleamont Hari Potter some thirty-eight years before that. My...”

“I never forget a customer, you see.” He clarified when Harry turned to his parents somewhat concernedly at this stranger’s familiarity.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Ollivander.” Lily said with a smile.

“Ah, and you, Miss Evan’s, or, Mrs. Potter, I suppose.” 

Without further ado, Ollivander started pulling boxes from the stacks, trying Harry on for size.

The first one nearly singed everyone’s eyebrows off and was quickly returned to its box.

“Temperamental, that was is. Hm,” Ollivander said mostly to himself as he carried on.

The second set off the sprinkler system above them and got sent back to its home as well.

Finally, a wand was handed to Harry (the wand) from the stack. An 11-inch holly wand with a phoenix feather core. Harry picked it up, and (quite beautiful, in Lily’s opinion) fireworks sprouted from its tip.

“An odd combination of wood and core – I’ve not seen many like it myself.” Ollivander admitted.

“Well, Haz is a bit of an odd guy.” James said as he ruffled his son’s hair.

“Dad!” Harry screeched as the two began to roughhouse.

“Okay, oi, this store is not big enough. Boys!” Lily reprimanded.

The trio finished up their shopping and headed towards Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream parlour. Sirius, Y/N, and Draco were already seated, which Sirius was very smug about.

“Must be hard being second best at everything, Potter.” He called out to James. This resulted in James leaping over the barrier of the parlour’s patio seating area and landing on Sirius. Y/N had her face in her hands and Draco was (unsuccessfully) trying to smother his laughter. 

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake.” Lily grumbled as she shot an auguamenti at the two boys men.

The two men shot apart like cats in an alleyway after someone threw something at them for howling in the middle of the night. 

“Go get your wives and sons ice cream.” Lily barked at them.

“Yes ma’am.” Sirius and James responded, each bringing their first two finger to their forehead and offering a salute before walking marching inside. 

After their quick treat, where Draco and Harry compared their wands and showed each other all that they had bought, they carried on to the ‘fun stuff’. 

“Have you thought at all about what kind of pet you’d like, Draco?” Y/N asked the boy.

Draco appeared to consider something before a blush permeated his cheekbones. 

“I think...I think I’d like a cat; like my mum had.” He admitted quietly.

Sirius offered a sad but delighted sigh at his son and Y/N pulled him into an embrace.

Narcissa Malfoy attended her first year with the company of a regal white long-haired half kneazle. That cat (monstrosity, if you asked Sirius) was her most prized possession for years to come after that. 

“That sounds like a beautiful choice, my love.” Y/N offered as they made their way to Magical Menagerie. 

There was a pure white long-haired kneazle cross available that Sirius was positive Draco would beeline for. 

However, surprising everyone, Draco found a small tortoiseshell kitten with a missing eye. “This one!” He proclaimed.

And so, it was.

He named her Larissa – after one of Neptune’s moons, and in the same vein as his mum’s name Narcissa.

Harry insisted on getting an owl so he could “race them with his new broom.” He landed on a beautiful snowy owl with piercing yellow eyes. Lily found her a little off-putting; “no owl should look like they know so much” she had said.

To name her, Harry decided to flip open to a random page of one of his textbooks. Harry named her Hedwig, which he found on page 158 in Bathilda Bagshot’s book “A History of Magic”.

Y/N and Lily found a bench near Broomstix and watched as the four boys walked (skipped) into the store, speaking over top of one another in their excitement. 

“God we’re so lucky.” Y/N said quietly.

Lily felt like her heart was a well that was just overflowing with love.

“We really are.” She agreed. 

@ttulipwritezz