#regulus & pandora

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[bri-cheeses]

*Dorcas introducing Marlene to the Skittles for the first time*

Dorcas: “This is Regulus. Yes, he does bite. Do not mention James or Sirius around him.”

Dorcas: “This is Evan-and-Barty. Do Not separate them unless you are prepared to face the consequences.”

Dorcas: “And this is Pandora. She can see the future sometimes and has predicted horrible deaths for all of us, but we don’t like to worry about that.”

Dorcas: “What do you think, babe?” :3

Marlene: “… I think I’ve just unknowingly started dating a cult member”

[the-original-gays]

James was the mum friend in a "wraps you in a soft blanket and makes you tea when you're not feeling well" way.

Sirius needed someone to love him.

Remus needed someone to accept him.

Peter needed someone to value him.

And James made sure each of them went to bed smiling.

Regulus was the mum friend in a "chasing you around the house screaming at you to not put forks in the plug sockets" way.

Evan had no regard for safety, his own or others.

Barty has no impulse control.

Pandora did dangerous experiments on a daily basis.

Dorcas would do just about anything if you paid her enough.

And Regulus was just trying to keep those fucking idiots alive.

[child-of-icarus]

Regulus: Guys, I need to tell you something

Regulus: I’m in love with my brothers best friend

Barty: Your own brother? The one that was disowned??

Regulus: Not my brother, his best friend

Dorcas: Remus?

Regulus: That’s my brothers boyfriend. I’m in love with his best friend

Pandora: Lily!?

Regulus: No, that’s Remus’ best friend

Regulus: It’s James, I’m in love with James

Evan: Your brothers best friend!?

Regulus: [heavy sigh]

[norry-yippee]

Sometimes I forget that people in the marauders fandom aren’t just silly teenage girls, like wdym your husband proof read this fic for you?!?!?!?!?

[rosieevan]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[arkieve]

i love the idea that the skittles had their own adventures at hogwarts that were more chaotic than the marauders' but they're lowkey about it. like oh, you guys were the ones who put that giant squid in the lake? cool. barty is currently possessed by a 16th century demon pandora accidentally released. it hasn't done anything yet and he seems fine and we're late to potions so we'll deal with that when he starts levitating while speaking in a dead language.

[sspadfoot]

The Marauders doing the trauma dumping sweet trend on TikTok

Sirius: My names Sirius and my parents used to torture me as a punishment until I had to run away and I brought haribos

Remus: My names Remus and when I was 5 I was bit by a werewolf because he hated my dad and I brought sour patch kids

Peter: My names Peter and I was tortured until I joined a fascist cult and I brought giant strawberries

James: My names James and my boyfriend broke up with my to join the cult because his parents told him to and I brought jolly ranchers

Regulus: My names Regulus and I’m that boyfriend. I also tried to drown myself on multiple occasions and I brought marshmallows

Barty: My names Barty and I was imperioed by my dad for most of my life, until I became crazy, and I brought twizzlers

Evan: My names Evan and I was forced by my parents to join a cult and I brought rainbow laces cause we’re all fruity

Pandora: My names Pandora and I can see the future so I saw all of my friends and family die and I brought skittles

Dorcas: My names Dorcas and my girlfriend was killed by one of my oldest friends and then I had to go face to face with the leader of the cult and I brought airheads

Lily: My names lily and my sister hated me for most of my life and I had a horrible toxic best friend who called me slurs and I brought nerds

Marlene: My names Marlene and I was killed by my best friend, my sister was also kidnapped and tortured and I brought Reeces

Mary: My names Mary and I was obliviated by my headteacher and I don’t remember why and I brought squashies

[fiasco95]

Barty, barging into the Gryffindor common room: What’s up losers!

Sirius: Wh—

Barty: I actually don’t care, don’t answer that!

Remus: That—

Barty: Anywhoo! Am just here to collect my bitches!

James: Hey—!

Barty, looking at Pandora & Dorcas: Respectfully.

Barty, turning to Regulus: Disrespectfully.

Marauders & Friends:

Barty: Alright, great talk! Let’s go bitches!

Pandora, Regulus & Dorcas kissing their respective partners and following Barty out of the common room.

Marlene: …What the fuck just happened?

Lily: No fucking clue.

[outromoony]

"My child is fine." Your child is reading the angstiest fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends on purpose.

[thatbrokenheartedwitch]

Evan: Yeah, me and Barty don't use pet names.

Pandora: Really? What does a bee make?

Evan: Honey?

Regulus: No, no you're doing it wrong. What do you call a female dog?

Evan: A bitch?

Barty (falling from the ceiling): Yea dickhead?

[not-rab]

Pandora: The floor's lava!

James: *helping Regulus onto the table*

Barty: *kicks Evan off the sofa*

Dorcas: There are two types of boyfriends

[whysosiriushuh]

Sirius: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water

Lily,*slowly puts her book down *: Y-You were putting it in cold water....

Sirius: ....

Remus: Padfoot? Answer the question. Sirius!

Sirius: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Everyone: ....

Sirius: You think I have the patience to boil water?

Regulus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????

James,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!

Regulus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!

Remus: Fuck Regulus you too!!??!!

James: It takes less than a minute!

Marlene: IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????

James: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!

Remus: Like 7 minutes!

James: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.

Pandora *taking notes*: Everyone in this room is so creative :)

Dorcas*turning to Remus*: So no one in your house uses a fucking kettle!?

Remus: Its right there near the stove!!

Sirius: Wait a second... that's used to make tea??

Regulus: You told me it was there for aesthetic!!!!!!

James: So its not???

[macaulaytwins]

part 2

[noblehouseofgay]

Marauders era doing a smash cake and it's just everyone putting pictures of remus, effie, and Monty over and over again

Remus and james are crying and confused