isabel-lillah

[isabel-lillah]

We always talk about how James thinks he is too much and Regulus thinks he’s not enough, but may I propose the opposite? James, who is constantly living for others, afraid that he isn’t good enough for them so he burns himself out trying to be energetic and positive, while there’s Regulus, who is afraid that talking about his emotions and feelings too much will scare people away and will make them realize how different he really is from the rest of them, so he shuts himself out.

Regulus has a fear of being too much, that’s why he is so closed off. James is afraid of not being enough, that’s why he puts himself out there

[isabel-lillah]

june 2 - prompt: die - @rosekillermicrofic - word prompt: 162

Evan felt his words die on his lips when Barty left the bathroom with nothing but a towel. Again.

Every time he does this, a piece of Evan's soul leaves. And 'every time' means basically every time Barty takes a shower. It's ridiculous. Sometimes Evan thinks the prick he's harboring a secret crush for does it on purpose.

Little does he know, Barty is doing it on purpose. He's had a crush on Evan for years. He's hoping against hope that maybe Evan could like him too. However, he's getting really mixed signals any time he tries what he's taken to calling The Towel Test.

Sometimes Barty swears he catches the blonde staring. Other times, though, he seems indifferent.

If they don't figure this shit out soon, I'm actually going to lock them in a closet so they will have to talk. Regulus thinks as he closes the curtains around his bed, blocking the sight of his two pinning best friends. Idiots.

[isabel-lillah]

june 1 - prompt: pride - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 274

Barty takes pride in his poker face. Unless he completely drops his guard, which only happens sometimes around his closest friends, you simply can't tell what he's thinking.

Which is good, considering how pathetically in love he is with one of his best friends.

Right now, it's coming in handy once again. Barty is sitting at one of the desks in the library with Regulus, trying and failing to get his homework done. All he's done so far is steal glances at Evan, who's currently sitting a couple desks over from them, seemingly flirting with some girl from Ravenclaw.

Why can't it be me?

He is jealous; he can admit that to himself. And once again, he's happy for his poker face. His friends would give him shit if they knew about all of this.

"All right, that's enough," came Regulus's voice - out of fucking nowhere, mind you, so you can't blame Barty for jumping up in his chair.

"Regulus, what the hell?" Barty can't remember the last time he was this confused.

His friend gave him an unimpressed stare: "Barty, I can't handle this pining of yours anymore. Get of your ass and go do something. Ask him on a date, tell him you love him, kiss him, I don't care what you do, just do something."

Barty's jaw dropped. Was he actually that obvious? Who else could have possibly notic-

In the middle of his internal panic, a third voice spoke up: "Do something about what?" The blonde truly had immaculate timing.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

When Evan leaves again, Barty swears he's going to strangle Regulus. And maybe ask him for advice.

[isabel-lillah]

Regulus had gotten used to it.

Seniors. Friends. His classmates. Even the teachers sometimes.

He never could get out of Sirius’s shadow and the nicknames basically proved it.

Baby Black. Younger Black. Slytherin Black.

He’s heard all the variations and he hated every single fucking one of them.

But over the years, he’d learned to tolerate it.

Yet it didn’t escape his notice that of all the people his brother and family included - only James Potter had never used that nickname.

He had never really thought too hard about it until they were paired up for prefect rounds, and even over the course of a couple of months, James had only referred to him as Regulus or Reg.

Finally, Regulus couldn't take it anymore.

"Why don't you call me baby Black?"

James stared at him, raising an eyebrow. "I thought you hated that nickname?"

Regulus opens his mouth. "Yes but -" It's not stopped anyone before.

James carries on with the previous conversation, ignoring the pause - as though it's really that simple. Regulus didn't like the nickname and therefore, James didn't use it.

And maybe it really is that easy.

[isabel-lillah]

[isabel-lillah]

James didn't want to go to the Order meeting today. For some reason, he's had this weird sense of coldness since the moment he woke up.

Normally, he's never cold. Like a rule, James Potter always runs hot.

And that's how he knows something is wrong. Really wrong.

The chills keep getting worse. Even now, when he's attending the meeting, all he can think about is how weirdly cold he feels.

Another strange thing about this coldness is that it just doesn't go away, no matter what he tries. Blankets, tea nor warming charms work. He can't get rid of it. It's like he's slowly drowning, surrounded by ice, unable to reach the surface.

Out of nowhere, a new wave of freezing cold nausea fell over him, colder than anything else today. He felt like he was about to pass out.

"Prongs, are you okay? You look pale," Remus asked him quietly, not wanting to interrupt Dumbledore's speech.

"Fine, I'll just... I'm just gonna go get some air. I'll be right back," he answered as he rushed to get up and leave the room with a sinking suspicion deep in his stomach.

As soon as he's out of the building, James pulls his sleeve up, just in time to see the last bit of his and Regulus's tattoo disappear.

One last freezing wave overcomes him.

The tattoo is gone.

Their bond is gone.

Regulus is gone.

[isabel-lillah]

villain - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 358

There were things that Regulus didn't talk about.

Not because they were bad, but because they were just.....well, they were stupid, alright? It was stupid and childish of him to like them, so he didn't tell a soul.

Who cared if he stayed up late reading muggle stories and obsessing over the characters and lore? It was his choice, his free time. As long as nobody found out. Because it was a bit embarrassing.

He hid it from everyone. Even Sirius had no idea that as much as he read poetry and classic literature in his free time, he also hid a very well-worn copy of The Hobbit under a floorboard in his dorm.

Nobody knew.

Until one day, he sat hidden in an alcove of the library, lost in his favorite story, only for James Potter to pop up out of nowhere.

"J-Potter!" he shrieked, quickly hiding the book next to him. "How did you find me?"

The older boy grinned, "Magic. I missed you."

Regulus felt the familiar flip of his stomach at Potter's words. It was new, this thing between them, but for some reason, he savored every moment. "That's...okay, then," he mumbled, eyes cast downward. He'd missed Potter as well. But it was hard to admit.

"What're you reading?" Potter asked, quickly snagging the book out of his loose hand, before Regulus could properly grab ahold.

"No-what?" Regulus protested, reaching in vain.

"The Hobbit?" James read aloud, looking curiously. "Isn't that Muggle?"

"I-yes," Regulus mumbled, reddening in embarassment.

James flipped through the book. "It's well-worn. You like this one?"

Surprised, Regulus looked up. "I...yes? Yeah, it's...it's alright."

Blinking, James sat down next to him. "Tell me about it," he requested softly.

Shock filled Regulus's body. "You...what do you want to know?" He asked, feeling self-conscious.

"Anything you want. You like it, I want to know about it," James shrugged. "Is this guy the villain?" he asked, pointing to the cover.

A warm feeling spread over Regulus. "Well yes, that's Smaug, he..."

And for the rest of the afternoon, he and James sat, heads pressed together, reading Regulus's favorite story.

[isabel-lillah]

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter definitely befriended most (if not all) of the ghosts in the castle

they shared Hogwarts gossip together and the ghosts even helped with some of the pranks

[isabel-lillah]

dimple - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 159

“Out late, Reg?”

Pandora Rosier’s innocent voice made Regulus jump a foot, as he had been quite sure nobody was in the Slytherin Common Room at one  a.m., especially Pandora, who was in Ravenclaw.

“Obviously,” he grumbled, staring at her nervously. She doesn’t know anything, he reminded himself. Just act normal. She can’t tell..

“Up to trouble?” she asked cheerily, raising her eyebrows and smiling so wide her dimples showed.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he answered simply, deciding simple was better. “Went for a walk.”

They stared at each other for a bit before Pandora shrugged. “Well, I hope you sleep now!” 

Letting out a sigh of relief, he turned to the hallway that led to the dorms. It was only as he was about to disappear around the corner that he heard Pandora yell, “Tell James Potter I hope he sleeps well too!”

And James, who was in his Invisibility Cloak, ran right into him, as he froze in shock.

[isabel-lillah]

The one thing both the friend groups have in common is how much the members of the groups take care of each other.

In the dungeons, Barty, Evan and Regulus loudly express their hate for abusive parents.

The same thing is going on in the Gryffindor tower.

At the Gryffindor table, James is pushing food onto Sirius's and Remus's plate.

At the other end of the hall, Pandora is doing the same for Reg.

While Regulus helps Dorcas with homework, Remus is doing the same for Peter.

While Evan, Barty and Pandora go to quidditch matches to support Regulus and Dorcas, you can find Remus and Peter cheering on James and Sirius.

Yes, the friend groups are different, but they are both a kind of found family without which most of the members would have gone crazy.

[isabel-lillah]

hogwarts students from the 5th year and above always turn into smokers during exam season

everyone knows this since they all go to the same spot behind the castle, which is the only place not frequented by the professors

there's a silent agreement between all the prefects that no one reports anyone for this (because they're going there to smoke too)

the few students who smoke all year round are dutifully lending their lighters to those who are there only during exam season

they all share the stress and for a moment, all rivalry between houses is forgotten

and yes, if you're wondering, this first started with Remus Lupin

[isabel-lillah]

okayy, so remember this past me? yeah, she severely overestimated herself and then dissapeared for 10 days to take 6 finals (I actually passed them all, go me) and then slept for like 14 hours straight

anyway, I still have some finals to do before my semester is officially over, but it's going to be way more slow paced now, so I think I'll be writting at least semi regularly again

if you have finals left, too, good luck! feel free to complain or vent stress about them here. we all need to do it sometimes.

if you notice me posting at progressively more random time patterns during the next month, just know I'm finishing this semester and have way too many finals left

I'm not disappearing completely, but my posting will be slower and more random for the month

to all my fellow students, good luck! we've got this

[isabel-lillah]

“You know I had always assumed dear cousin Bella would be the first one to go to Azkaban.”

Great. One week in and he was already hearing the voices of people who have been dead for 2 years.

“Oh come on Sirius don’t tell me Azkaban broke your brain in less than a week.”

Sirius had almost forgotten how insulting Regulus could be when he put his mind to it. Sometime after his death he had forgotten - can’t speak ill of the dead and all but Azkaban really seemed intent on not letting him sulk in peace

“And you called me the soft one.” Sirius opens his eyes, annoyed, prepared to roll his eyes at thin air when he actually laid eyes on Regulus. He looked older, finally having grown into his regal features yet he also looked more cut up and bruised, hair longer and wilder than would ever be appropriate for the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Great. He was visually hallucinating too. “Serves me right that I can only properly remember how you look like in literal hell.”

Not- Regulus snorts. “Oh this is pathetic. Are you really so far gone you can’t tell I’m real?”

Sirius raises an eyebrow. “Fuck off. You’ve been dead for almost 2 years.”

“Aw. You do care about me.”

Sirius bristles, the familiar annoyance raising up in him. “Fine then if you’re so real prove it.”

At that Regulus laughs, loudly. “Sirius, you can literally turn into a fucking dog. Your mind might be lying to you but your animagus? It’s impossible.”

Sirius stares shocked. Regulus shouldn’t have known that. Only three people did. “How the fuck do you know that?”

Regulus stares at him, expression unreadable. “I kept tabs on you too you know.” He swallows and looks away.

Sirius blinks the sudden tears away. Regulus had always been too smart for his own good.

He didn’t need to turn into padfoot - Regulus had always been the only person who could make him feel this way.

“Well?”

Sirius blinks. “Well what?”

Regulus rolls his eyes. “Turn into your animagus form so that we can leave this place. I don’t know about you but this isn’t my type of vacation.”

“Leave?”

Regulus just stares at him incredulously. “You’re telling me you haven’t tried?”

Sirius feels chastised. “Well the war is over -“

Regulus cuts in. “So you fancied staying in Azkaban? When we have things to do?”

Sirius feels very unprepared for the conversation. “What things?”

Regulus ‘s smile is all teeth. “Killing Dumbledore and Voldemort for good.”

[isabel-lillah]

marauders era characters as quotes

"one never forgets the taste of certain tears" - Remus and Sirius, post prank

[isabel-lillah]

if you notice me posting at progressively more random time patterns during the next month, just know I'm finishing this semester and have way too many finals left

I'm not disappearing completely, but my posting will be slower and more random for the month

to all my fellow students, good luck! we've got this

[isabel-lillah]

Lily, who couldn't take the shit she was going through at home anymore, and ran away

Lily, who lived on the streets and joined a gang

Lily, who left it behind together with the muggle world once she finished Hogwarts

Lily, who never told anyone about it, not even James

Lily, who still kept a gun close because old habits die hard

Lily, who used the gun to save her family on the night of Halloween in 1981

[isabel-lillah]

may 2 - prompt: dread - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 338

Barty was always dreading the last day of school, because it meant going back to his father's house. This year, though, he's dreading it even more.

This is his last year at Hogwarts. Once he leaves, he's never coming back. And, without Hogwarts, Merlin knows when he's gonna be able to leave his father's house.

"Barty, I've got news! ... Barty, where the hell are you? BARTY!" That was Evan. Another thing he doesn't want to leave behind.

Stop yapping and get it together, Crouch.

He leaves the bathroom to find Evan, basically vibrating with excitement, pacing around their dorm.

"Barty! I actually did!" The blonde boy exclaims the moment he notices him: "I used the inheretence money to buy a flat. So goodbye, father!"

"Evan, that's amazing!" Barty is actually happy for his boyfriend. Evan's father is just as horrible as his own. Evan though, unlike Barty, got inheritance money from his mother, so he is able to leave.

Barty is truly happy for him, plus he's glad he doesn't have to worry about his lover's well-being anymore.

But the sour thought of wanting to be able tu run away too is still nagging at him.

"What is it?" Evan asks once he notices the slip in Barty's mood. Damn it, Crouch, do you really have to ruin the moment?

"Nothing, sorry. Just- I just thought of how it would be great if I could run away too."

At that, Evan stormed right to him in a matter of seconds, his eyes searching Barty's face for something he didn't seem to find. "Barty, what the hell are you talking about? You're coming with me."

There's no way Evan is telling him what he thinks he's telling him. No way.

"You- you want me to come live with you? In your flat?"

"Crouch Junior, I thought that was a given. Of course I want you to come with me, you idiot," and with that, Evan kissed him.

And really, who is Barty to deny an offer like that?