#rare negativity from me.
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…I feel like I’m on the wrong platform sometimes when I look up what this community thinks and there are some bad apples that want so many things destroyed for LGBTQ (Sorry if I mess that up) and it sickens me to my stomach. I left Twitter for a good reason, not to be told to be silenced again and that my opinions don’t matter because “I’m right and I won’t hear from you because I have a fixed mindset.” To be fair, it’s hard to have a growth mindset and look at the other teams view at times without judging, but I would like to see people stop fighting and understand that some things aren’t for you and respect others.
If you’re hurting good people for a cause, you’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it to make an excuse while using them. There are always going to be bad people in every community, I know that, but we need to learn to stop those people from continuing to do it wrong, like for example, Vegans. That community is so nice and kind, yet there is Vegan Teacher and her “Daughter” Vegan Booty. We need them to stop cashing on that community or just simply encouraging people to bully and harm those around you for a community that doesn’t want to do that.
Can I please have news on anything positive about any community, whether it’s one I’m in or not? I just need to feel better today. I only watch TV news for the forecast anyways. Oddly accurate. XD
#ask blog#askblog#sharing thoughts#share your thoughts#i’m so tired#lgbtq community#vegan community#social media#social media issues#community issues#Need positivity#rare negativity from me.
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Do you think that Odysseus has become a kind of running joke among the gods, like when we joke about cockroachs' survivability?
For example some mortal is surviving stuff that rly should've killed him, and someone on Olympus says "is he pulling an Odysseus on us?" and everyone laughs
#Odysseus in his palace gets a cold shiver like “ik someone is speaking about me and its rarely a good thing”#i offer to make “to pull an Odysseus” an actual idiom that means “to go though many neg things and survive”#ex “friday i had classes from 8:30am to 3:30pm with only an hour of break to eat. i rly had to pull an odysseus”#“the vet said my cat wouldn't live older than 2-3yo but hes pulling an Odysseus he's 4yo and in great shape”#the iliad#odysseus#the odyssey#epic the musical#homer
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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The ppl being yucky and pretentious about not liking this season of life series. :) you know thoughts can stay in your head without putting down ppl who put alot of work into these series in the process
Like a friend of mine said, 'grian doesn't have to make a life series' it's super weird to say he and other ppl working on the series are ruining it, when you could always stop watching and not be a dick :)
#life series has always been an experimental series#and expecting spefic kind of things to happen in each seasons when lufe seires has always just been about changing things from the last#you're bound to be disappointed#a rare skimmeh neg post#anyway i enjoyed this season even if it was very different#i commend all the ppl involved and the cc for being apart of a series i really enjoy#..idk if commed is the right word- i appreciate#but yeah ... yuck takes in Tumblr made me upset and u guess i took the bait-
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why is there so much bloat in the new bundle
adding up all the indivdiual cosmetics equals like 500 plat but they threw in so many boosters and rivens and kuva in the bundle that they cranked up the price to 805
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Potentially unpopular opinion, but I love that Miguel was an asshole again in the second part of this season! It’s a reminder that he’s a character and not just Johnny’s main support. I mean Robby didn’t deserve it at all, but it makes sense that Miguel couldn’t help taking his anger out on him. And I love that Johnny was on the receiving end of it, because it feels like the tension between them just went away for no reason.
Sorry if I’m bothering you!
You’re never bothering me, and I completely agree! They so rarely give Miguel any narrative agency these days, and like Johnny all it does is reduce him as a character. Miguel is a whole, complicated, messy teenager. He isn’t a saint. He isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes and has ugly unfair feelings sometimes, like every single teenager does. And I love when this show actually lets him be like this, lets him be wrong, lets him be a little bit of a dick to the people he cares about who don’t deserve it. Lets him be a real person with actual human feelings. And then also lets him take accountability for what he does wrong, apologize, show how much he’s grown, that he is a good person and a good friend. I love it truly, and it feels like it’s something that in a lot of ways hasn’t really been granted to Miguel since he fell off that balcony.
#miguel is one of mt favorite characters but since season 4 at least he has just been. boring#he is rarely allowed to feel a lasting negative emotion#and when he makes a mistake or does something wrong he is rarely allowed for the narrative to even consider it one. to#face (proportionate) consequences and have those consequences acknowledged for what they are#i dont want this to be misconstrued as me saying miguel deserved to be kicked off the balcony or to absolve robby of his responsibility in#that. but i do think the biggest disservice this show did to miguel was ignore and remove his own culpability in that fight#and again that is not to take blame away from robby for his own actions#but the way that the show in a lot of ways has reframed miguel as this almost saint like victim of the karate war is just boring to me#rather than a character with actual agency in the story#if that makes sense#anyway thats all to say yes i agree lmao#asks#i just wish we got more of it tbh. not him being a bit of an asshole necessarily lol but just like. him heing a real Character#we know he wants to go to Stanford and i dan think of a bunch of reasons off the top of my head WHY that would be#but ultimately those are just my ideas jot snything that is actually explored in the show#i guess i just miss when this show was an exploration of character
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jeff and britta need a divorce arc but also they need to stay together because nobody else should be subjected to them
#like. they are meant for each other (negative)#rare straight pairing post from me#jeffbritta#community#jeff winger#britta perry
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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got called a "very pretty lady" and a "classy lady" earlier by this guy who came up to me and i am not holding it against him because he was a stranger and i'm not gonna let myself dwell on that 30 second interaction, but man i am still in a bad mood about it i will be honest
#multi makes text posts#vent cw#negative cw#not actively upset. just a little grumpy#misgendering from strangers rarely gets to me#but it's been happening a lot more lately aughhhhh#misgendering cw#i guess? idk#i feel like i got gendered correctly more by strangers before i started growing a tiny shitty lil beard#isn't that wild
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admittedly, there are times this fandoms feels uninviting from both sides. as someone who is a fan of the show and of the books (even the 90s movie), it does feel shitty at times.
#vampires will never hurt you ! // ooc#negativity tw#tbh when people are extremely negative towards other fans#it gives me pause#i'm not saying there aren't toxic fans#there are#and i know there are a lot of us who enjoy and engage with both versions of the material#and it's literally both book and show fans that tend to make me feel a lot of uncertainty#sometimes#i don't talk negative on my blog much#i try not to so this is a rare post from me
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i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3
#personal#i honestly wrote it bc i was feeling quite Bad abt very Old Wounds haha as i am sometimes wont to do#bc of a person/event that reminded me of my abuser#i thought it may resonate with like one or two people but i mainly wrote it for myself#and i am so surprised that so many people have messaged me about it#also kinda sad bc that means they've Not Had A Good Time#however i'm very glad my fiction can provide some sort of relief/catharsis#it's an isolating experience to have very ambivalent feelings abt your own abuse#and to become aware of your own patterns of seeking to repeat it/seeking toxic dynamics that remind you of it#about 6 years have passed since i was last abused in such a way#and while i do get randomly sad about it and while it has affected my psyche in a very significant way#and while i still do get the occasional flashback albeit it is much more rare nowadays#and still do react to certain things quite disproportionately#i have to say it DOES get better#esp if you make a tangible effort to heal#you will get there#and while it is a part of you it is not who you are#and you are capable of living a fulfilled and satisfying life#sexually and otherwise#i used to be so upset about not being a Good Victim#but the best thing i've done is that i have given myself grace and stopped policing/moralising my own experience#(that does not mean allowing myself to engage in repeated self-abuse)#(even if i have slipped a couple of times bc i am human)#i have allowed the space for my toxic fantasies instead of trying to banish them#but i have sought to fill my life with other positive experiences#while not forgetting or erasing the negatives#and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy#also kink has helped a lot as well as writing#but i advise ppl to tread VERY carefully with kink as esp as abuse survivors#it is a slippery slope and it can be dangerous in many ways
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Despite me still really missing BoulGram and holding them dear to my heart (which some might have read about in the deleted post), the time the new hyperfixiation kicked in was actually perfect timing because so many unexpected shit happened, one which I still haven’t gotten over and am likely a slightly traumatized by.
Funny how things worked out.
Working on everything to the point of collapsing seems to be the only solution because being alone is the only way to be safe.
#negative#vent#deleted later#also made my first BoulGram charm/merch myself and seem to have lost it#not giving up on looking for it just yet tho#too bad too tired now#frosty babbles#life has just been#yeah#oh well it all goes on#fuck all the people who hurt me so bad tho I hope to wipe y’all from my memory#sincerely wish y’all nothing but the worst at this point and this is something I rarely do#nobody here
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I’m actually rather passionate at matching H*talia characters with their irl counterparts/nation dynamic. One reason I get pissed off abt Ivan portrayal is sincerely bc what I see in fandom is NOT what I observe personally. Again, I alrd know why that is. I’m wholly neutral to downright Russophilic it actually draws attention from ppl who know me in Discord etc etc
#blorbo talk#some things are true and the rest is blown off proportion#its like ???????#not that I always follow irl to a T also. sometimes will create dynamics to go around it bc thats what entertains me#but I can spot negative biases in fandom from a mile away#I’ll be endlessly pissed off if I actually also have Yao as my fave 😄 this is why i rarely read fics#i am simply convinced most ppl in fandom secretly hates Ivan#or like half maybe
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apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.
#this post brought to you by#dissociating so hard i had to quit playing magic#it wasn't that far into the game and i don't know wtf is going on with this but like. christ.#i'm so tired of having to come down from huge crying jags and panic and the fear of my mother coming to Get Me for not being Good Enough#like#what the fuck man#i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this#i thought i was DONE with the goo stage what do you MEAN there's more#cofronting has at least been less chaotic with only a couple people manning the helm at any given time#but like....christ alive can i just like. i don't know#how do you ask for vacation days off from your own brain? cause i'm exhausted man#i'm exhausted with this shit how is this the way i gotta go through life every day#like i could quit food service when i felt like this - and i did#but like. you can't opt out of your shifts in brain because that's where you live y'know?#ugh. i'm...something is wrong and i don't know what i did to fuck up this time but i don't like this#phrasing intentional to mean ''i have done an activity or action that has caused some sort of disruption in my brain that has made things#more difficult for myself due to brain chemistry and it has been relatively recently''#i don't think it's the meds i'm fairly certain it's the mental illness i already know about and am aware of it's just kicking up a fuss#because i don't enjoy this time of year and i won't start being Cool about things until january starts up properly#and there's always the risk it'll continue on through that due to other circumstances but i'm really hoping it'll just calm down#because the Threat of Christmas Celebration isn't imminent#(we *very* rarely celebrated past couchweek and that was usually involving a lot of travel so once january is here and Festivities die down#i'll start hopefully feeling more like a coherent person and not just a miserable ball of trauma)#anyway. i'm...gonna wait for dinner to be done and i can eat that and then maybe i schedule some i do not exist time to myself where#i just am in my room making no noise and pretending i don't exist but like it's a positive thing and not a negative one#because if i don't exist my ribs can't hurt and also the trauma can't gets me#(this is mostly a joke don't worry about it too much i rarely actually request Quiet Alone Time)#normally i just sorta Acquire it and vibe#until i am reminded i have a physical form and the world can inflict forces upon me
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Go off queen
It's your blog and you should be able to talk about whatever you want after all
aww thank you 🥺 i appreciate it <33
i do really not like spreading negativity esp when it's on a topic i have strong feelings about, and let's say the D.A fandom especially tends to be. extreme about the way it reacts to people disagreeing with them.
And look. I'm not immune to it because sometimes i get caught up by the genuinely rancid vibe in the fandom as well, and i think those games are designed for us to have strong feelings to start with.
but it also means i don't want to go too deep into controversial thoughts because i genuinely don't want to get to a point where i'll see someone screenshot my posts to dunk on it and say i'm the reason media literacy is dead and why the fandom is so toxic (citing things i've actually seen on said blog, for instance though not directed at me but at takes i've seen taken out of context. except i knew the context so knew this was a bad faith argument.).
Like can't even dislike shits in peace in here.
#sorry this is probably my most solas moment but i try to be kind and stuff#and when i discuss things level headed with people i do think i'm pretty humble#i don't think i have the ultimate readings and i am likely super wrong about things all the time#because analysis remains also an emotional approach and it can't be helped#and i need to hold on to this humility to not get caught on in my own head#analysis is also pretty much shapped by experience and i do not have the final reading on things#and sometimes things can be decent in one way but fumble another#and what will be important to not fumble will be different from one person to the next#depending to the themes that resonated with you to start with#but when i see people dunk on feelings i have while taking them out of context and also being rude about it#and then saying 'media literacy is dead'#i feel myself turning into a pride demon on the spot#sorry i only have two literature analysis diplomas i graduated from in two languages with praises for my analytic skills#and with a teacher genuinely begging me to continue advanced literature analysis classes because my approach was rare and precious#so clearly i don't know what i'm talking about at all and i'm the idiot here#like holy shit. lol.#this fandom is still the one i dislike the most and alas the fact i dislike the 4th game doesn't help#bc i really was hopeful and optimistic about it! i didnt want to dislike it!!!!#but i at least don't want to be taken for an idiot for it#but coughs. anyway. so that's one of the reason i'm not petty on main#the real reason is i don't want to impose that on my followers. I don't like being negative needlessly.#the second reason is that if i'm met with hostility where someone act like i'm dumb i will do things i will regret.#It's just that no one saw this side of me there most time because you've all been nice to me here#again. this is my solas moment. one of the reasons my therapist goes 😬 when i talk about him#ichareply#anonymous#ichasalty
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