#queer transgender poetry is not the life

[mikeisntreallyreal]

My parents got confused and chose gay thought daughter-son

[leto-wriggt]

“What if everything will work out fine?”

And what if he touches me and frowns at what’s there?

What if intimacy is only ever an idea in my head, not meant for people like me?

What if I am incapable of being loved like that?

You cannot tell me there is not an if.

[memoirofaqueertransient]

Mohabbat dhoondnay chali thi mein.

Ek Khandaani darakhth pay kali thi mein.

Baap ko beta say beti honay ka gham.

Maa ko apne khawand kay gham ka sangam.

Kudrat nay bachpan diya, jo laga adhoora.

Rooh hi rooh mein har ek din bhi na lagay poora.

Nafrat aur jayaz ho kay bhi najayaz har pal yaad karliya.

“Log kya kahain gay” in lafzon mein bhala para aur yehi sabak bangaya.

Aaj bhi do chehron ko ek saath apne hi saath zindagi ko jhelnay kay liye apna lia.

Ek dostoon aur ghairon kay liye aur ek apni choti si khushi kay liye.

Mohabbat na mili, thoroon na day di hamdaardi.

Toot gayi woh kali, akhir jeet hui samajh ki zabardasti.

[chronicroderick]

Cowboys

A poem by chronicroderick

Rugged man,

Is that me?

Standing there on the screen.

Blood red horizon behind me.

Crows circling overhead.

I call my lover by any other name,

My friend.

My pal.

My buddy.

Are those words a betrayal to my kind?

Am I doing a disservice to my brethren?

Do I owe them... anything?

My love is mine after all,

Mine all mine.

It's more beautiful when it's painful,

That's what I tell myself,

As dysfunctional as it is..

I see the grotesque reflection of myself in a man who can't say what he means.

Unless it's in the quiet nights alone together

Whispering,

Trying to forget,

Pretending to not remember,

Until you look into my eyes and you see the dog you left behind,

Patiently awaiting your return,

Biting at the hand that feeds me.

At the hand that pets me.

At the hand that holds the leash.

But I am no dog,

So I wander the desert in the night.

I sleep in the arroyo in the day.

Railroad tracks cross me,

Lizards and coyotes too.

I am the sand in my own boots.

The sunburn on my own cheeks.

I'm the coveting of a secret twinkling of an eye.

A look.

A lingering palm.

That is my penance.

That is my love.

[sapphic-cajun]

I cry myself to sleep at night over the singular thought: why doesn’t my family love me? Why must unconditional love have conditions? When will this pit of despair vanish? Will I ever be loved?

[super-eukarya]

My soul is in a nervous system

Salivating over new cisterns

Dedicated to soft listless nests

To lie in before anxious work shifts

After solemn social meetings

My body burdens nothing

Between the plush thighs

Pushing, pushing into your head

As you lie on me after sessions

Before ceding to this budding season

[diary-of-juniper]

Higher quality

[tookishcombeferre]

Pip Rambles ... About Poetry Stuff

Not me using Tumblr as my diary again ... it’s more likely than you think. 

I’m thinking about writing poetry chapbooks. I have many schemes, but two have stood out recently. 

The first one explores my relationship with gender, autism and two very important games in my life. Half of the chapbook uses two characters from each game as an extended metaphor for one part of my identity. Then, I put them in conversation at the end. (I may have mentioned this?) 

The other explores my relationship with monsters (lore, stories, presentation, etc.) and my neurotype, sexuality, and gender. I have a particular fondness for the title “Don’t Cry for Me Transylvania.” (I am a theater nerd. Glad you noticed ...)  

The title was born from me exploring my new vocal range, and discovering that I could make one badass Phantom of the Opera. (Yes. My voice is that low. No. I am not on T - thank you!) 

Through my messing around with my lower voice, I’ve rediscovered my love for classic horror villains and monsters. These are stories I’ve revisited many times throughout my life in the form of the original stories (Phantom of the Opera, Frankenstein, Dracula, and Jekyll and Hyde to name a few) as novels as well as their adaptations. I’m also interested in exploring my love for Rocky Horror Picture Show, Undertale, Gargoyles and other “modern” monster stories. Because, fuck it, like any good LGBTQ+ human, especially highlighting my nonbinary-trans narrative, I love monsters! I LOVE MONSTERS! And, I want to write about gender in my own autistic little way, and I’ve been collecting favorite monster stories since my 7 year old self listened to Webber’s Phantom of the Opera on my dad’s portable CD player for the first time. Monsters speak to my gender, and neurotype, in a way that I cannot DESCRIBE! 

So, I guess, if ya wanna weigh in, would you read a book of poetry from a gender-nonconforming autistic queer person about monster lore/stories and gender? Like is that appealing or am I crazy? 

Anywho ... end rant. 

[gennsoup]

Your name is not a song you will sing under your breath. Your pronouns haven't even been invented yet.

Andrea Gibson, Your Life

[skilasophia]

Seeing Your Ex on Hot Topic Promotional Material

In their Amazon Basics skater skirt, red chocker, and classic fishnets; will they ever boof testosterone? My future partner will be so annoyed when we talk about our past relationships: Who’s the coolest person you’ve dated? They'll talk dancers and mediocre musicians and I'll show them our hot photoshoot: My ass looks great in the last shot. I'm still flattered by their song. I'mon the cover…

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[beckywtghmai]

Relationship Telephone Game/Variables

I can’t separate the variables — Here are some sex drive observations. Transitioning has been bizarre. First few t shots I was unstoppable and then It tapered off. Now that I’m out of that relationship I know that I can’t separate the variables. The results are from both. My sex drive steadily decreased for most of my transition More than two years now it seems. Possibly three. I don’t…

[hussyknee]

Abu al-Faraj al-Isfahani’s Kitab al-Aghani records the lives of a number of individuals including one named Tuways who lived during the last years of Muhammad and the reigns of the early Muslim dynasties. Tuways was mukhannathun: those who were born as men, but who presented as female. They are described by al-Isfahani as wearing bangles, decorating their hands with henna, and wearing feminine clothing. One mukhannathun, Hit, was even in the household of the Prophet Muhammad. Tuways earned a reputation as a musician, performing for clients and even for Muslim rulers. When Yahya ibn al-Hakam was appointed as governor, Tuways joined in the celebration wearing ostentatious garb and cosmetics. When asked by the governor if he were Muslim Tuways affirmed his belief, proclaiming the declaration of faith and saying that he observes the fast of Ramadan and the five daily prayers. In other words, al-Isfahani, who recorded the life of a number of mukhannathun like Tuways, saw no contradiction between his gender expression and his Muslimness. From al-Isfahani we read of al-Dalal, ibn Surayj, and al-Gharid—all mukhannathun—who lived rich lives in early Muslim societies. Notably absent from al-Isfahani’s records is any state-sanctioned persecution. Instead, the mukhannathun are an accepted part of society.

...

Far from isolated cases, across Islamic history—from North Africa to South Asia—we see widespread acceptance of gender nonconforming and queer individuals. - Later in the Ottoman Empire, there were the köçek who were men who wore women’s clothing and performed at festivals. Formally trained in dance and percussion instruments, the köçek were an important part of social functions. A similar practice was found in Egypt. The khawal were male dancers who presented as female, wearing dresses, make up, and henna. Like their Ottoman counterparts, they performed at social events.

- In South Asia, the hijra were and are third-sex individuals. The term is used for intersex people as well as transgender women. Hijra are attested to among the earliest Muslim societies of South Asia where, according to Nalini Iyer, they were often guardians of the household and even held office as advisors.

- In Iraq, the mustarjil are born female, but present as men. In Wilfred Thesiger’s The Marsh Arabs the guide, Amara explains, “A mustarjil is born a woman. She cannot help that; but she has the heart of a man, so she lives like a man.” When asked if the mustarjil are accepted, Amara replies “Certainly. We eat with her and she may sit in the mudhif.” Amara goes on to describe how mustarjil have sex with women.

...

Historian Indira Gesink analyzed 41 medical and juristic sources between the 8th and 18th centuries and discovered that the discourse of a “binary sex” was an anachronistic projection backwards. Gesink points out in one of the earliest lexicography by the 8th century al-Khalil ibn Ahmad that he suggests addressing a male-presenting intersex person as ya khunathu and a female-presenting intersex person as ya khanathi while addressing an effeminate man as ya khunathatu. This suggests a clear recognition of a spectrum of sex and gender expression and a desire to address someone respectfully based on how they presented.

Tolerance of gender ambiguity and non-conformity in Islamic cultures went hand-in-hand with broader acceptance of homoeroticism. Texts like Ali ibn Nasir al-Katib’s Jawami al-Ladhdha, Abu al-Faraj al-Isfahani’s Kitab al-Aghani, and the Tunisian, Ahmad al-Tifashi’s Nuz’ha al-‘Albab attest to the widespread acceptance of same-sex desire as natural. Homoeroticism is a common element in much of Persian and Arabic poetry where youthful males are often the object of desire. From Abu Nuwas to Rumi, from ibn Ammar to Amir Khusraw, some of the Islamic world’s greatest poets were composing verses for their male lovers. Queer love was openly vaunted by poets. One, Ibn Nasr, immortalizes the love between two Arab lesbians Hind al Nu’man and al-Zarqa by writing:

“Oh Hind, you are truer to your word than men. Oh, the differences between your loyalty and theirs.”

...

Acceptance of same-sex desire and gender non-conformity was the hallmark of Islamic societies to such a degree that European travelers consistently remarked derisively on it. In the 19th century, Edward Lane wrote of the khawal: “They are Muslims and natives of Egypt. As they personate women, their dances are exactly of the same description as those of the ghawazee; and are, in like manner, accompanied by the sound of castanets.”

A similarly scandalized CS Sonnini writes of Muslim homoerotic culture:

“The inconceivable appetite which dishonored the Greeks and the Persians of antiquity, constitute the delight, or to use a juster term, the infamy of the Egyptians. It is not for women that their ditties are composed: it is not on them that tender caresses are lavished; far different objects inflame them.”

In his travels in the 19th century, James Silk Buckingham encounters an Afghan dervish shedding tears for parting with his male lover. The dervish, Ismael, is astonished to find how rare same-sex love was in Europe. Buckingham reports the deep love between Ismael and his lover quoting, “though they were still two bodies, they became one soul.”

...

Today, vocal Muslim critics of LGBTQ+ rights often accuse gay and queer people of imposing a “Western” concept or forcing Islam to adjust to “Western values” failing to grasp the irony of the claim: the shift in the 19th and 20th century was precisely an alignment with colonial values over older Islamic ones, all of which led to legal criminalization. In fact, the common feature among nations with anti-LGBTQ+ legislation isn’t Islam, but rather colonial law.

Don't talk to me I'm weeping. I'm not Muslim, but the grief of colonization runs in the blood of every Global South person. Dicovering these is like finding our lost treasures among plundered ruins.

Queer folk have always, always been here; we have always been inextricable, shining golden threads in the tapestry of human history. To erase and condemn us is to continue using the scalpel of colonizers in the mutilation and betrayal of our own heritage.

[qbdatabase]

Hello!! I was looking for non-fiction books of butches and femmes that mention bisexual butches and femmes too! I guess that's a very specific thing and difficult thing to ask for but I was hoping if you knew some? In the end, I'll take any and all butch femme non-fiction books you know of please! 👉👈💖

Most of what I have for non-fiction butch/femme culture is centered around lesbians, with bisexuals being a chapter or discussion within a larger book, mainly because women-loving-women historically drew less of a distinction between lesbians and bisexuals (as that would have shoved out a lot of closeted/married women in a time when many women could not afford to not be married). But here's everything I have about butches and femmes, and I'll note if bisexuality is also discussed!

History of Butch/Femme Culture

Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go by Michelle Gibson - #1 recommendation, even if it is 20 years old

100 Crushes by Elisha Lim - contributions from butches and genderqueer folks

Challenging Lesbian Norms: Intersex, Transgender, Intersectional, and Queer Perspectives by Angela Pattatucci Aragón - more history of lesbian culture that looks beyond cisgender lesbians, discusses trans, intersex, gnc, butch, and bisexuality

The Life & Times of Butch Dykes: Portraits of Artists, Leaders, and Dreamers Who Changed the World by Eloisa Aquino - can't confirm if it includes any butch bisexuals, but it's from 2019, not twenty years ago!

Unsuitable: A History of Lesbian Fashion by Eleanor Medhurts - #2 recommendation for butch/femme culture, although I can't confirm if it includes bisexuals; published this year

Memoirs by Butch Authors

Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing by Lauren Hough - butch lesbian

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. - butch queer Muslim

Burning Butch by R/B Mertz - Catholic butch trans / nonbinary

Tomboy Survival Guide by Ivan E. Coyote - butch nonbinary

Pregnant Butch: Nine Long Months Spent in Drag by A. K. Summers - butch lesbian

Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman - butch lesbian who later transitioned as a transgender man

Memoirs / Poetry / Self-Help by Femme Authors

Rust Belt Femme by Raechel Jolie - queer femme

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance by Jessamyn Stanley - queer femme

You Grow, Gurl!: Plant Kween's Lush Guide to Growing your Garden by Christopher Griffin - queer femme nonbinary

HoodWitch: Poems / A Map of My Want by Faylita Hicks - queer femme nonbinary

[theangryman]

I don’t exactly get you. Your ex (husband or girlfriend I can’t even tell) divorced you badly and left you traumatized. You’re a trans man who doesn’t see himself as at all female? Yet the oppression you experience is… okay. I don’t get it. If you could explain that would help. What’s the point of being a radical feminist if you’re inherently the opposite of what we all see you as? You’re a woman lost. You had a crappy mom and ex. You had an inherently female experience. I don’t get it. Trans women also don’t experience female anything except maybe lust from freaky males.

I am oppressed on the basis of sex. I am a radical feminist because I recognize that sex based oppression is foundational to culture, an ideology so ingrained in our culture that it is invisible to most. Being born with a female body is being born into a world which commodifies your body, expects you to stay silent and “demure.”

As a transgender man, I recognize that I ha he experienced sexism. I still experience sexism in spaces where my sex assigned at birth is known - doctors offices, the legal system… At the end of the day it is *sexism*, discrimination based on *sex.* The difference in how I am treated as a passing man versus how I was treated as a teenage girl has done nothing but radicalize me.

I recognize my own transition as medical - my body needs testosterone, feels wrong without it. I cannot give you an invitation into my mind, other than with these words, that will help you understand. Before I knew what it meant to be trans, I knew there was something wrong with my body. When I started taking testosterone, my body felt right. As my body has changed and gotten older with testosterone, it has felt even more right. The way my skin feels: the way my feet grew: the way my beard rubs against my shirt; these are all poetry to me.

I think a lot of radfems on here primarily interact with cis men trolling or posting fetish material. I’ve known a lot of trans women in real life; most of them are not the gooners you see here and on Reddit. Quite a few are older, and will never come out or transition because of how dangerous and unsafe it is. My queer community has fucking vanished because you get out of this place as soon as you can - transitioning means moving and starting over. And yeah, trans women do experience the same types of harassment that cis women do.

“Radical feminism” isn’t inherently trans exclusionary. Breaking down the system of sex discrimination doesn’t mean dysphoria and intersex brains won’t exist. Trans people weaken the boundaries of sex by hopping across that barrier - and I think a healthy radical feminist movement (which wasn’t mostly conservative men larping because it’s a safe space for them to hate trans people) would recognize that.

[lacefuneral]

happy TDOV! i haven't made a post in literal years because i always forget LMAO.

hi my name is Jay. i'm a transsexual (FTM) gay man. i'm a femme. my pronouns are they/them and ce/cer.

i'm currently 28 years old. i've been living as a man full time since 2015, when i was 19. it's been a long, weird journey. i went from presenting really masculine at first to meet societal expectation & to pass, to presenting more feminine, where i feel like myself. i went on (and off of) T, i had top surgery, and I feel like the last steps of my journey are full-body hair removal + getting my nipples tattooed into hearts, so I still have to check those off of the list. i have regretted nothing, and have become happier and more assured in who i am over time.

i'm AuDHD. I'm chronically ill. i'm physically disabled. i'm fat. i suffer from very severe OCD and CPTSD. and i refuse to be embarrassed about any of those things!

i write poetry, i draw, i collage, i take digital & traditional photos, i colorize other people's black and white photos, i sing, i voice act, i compose music, i edit videos. and no matter how hard life gets sometimes, i refuse to be a statistic. transsexual, you must live!

(mobile users. this is a video 👇)

(forgive the shoddy compilation lmao i'm recovering from a concussion rn; i just made this quick on my phone)

anyway. i have a lot of miscellaneous interests. right now i'm very hyperfixated on OFMD so you'll see that a lot. (as well as other things Rhys Darby is in; i've been a fan of his for 17 years.) but i also like Twin Peaks (and Dune 1984 lmao), Star Trek TOS/TNG, Red Dwarf, various video games (i'm playing disco elysium right now and really enjoying it!), and I also reblog a lot of shitposts and pretty art and imāges of créatures (🐇🦌🦋🐙🦞)

i run @transmascore (which has been on hiatus since forever and needs a major rework to fix linkrot etc.) which is an art, positivity, and resource blog for transmasculine people which is intended to be interacted with by any gender. i made transmascore after being frustrated by "positivity" and "-core" blogs for trans men that were filled primarily with cis art, cis words, and cis bodies. i also made it as a place where people who are not transmascs can learn about us and engage with our art. and as a place that is firmly distanced from transmisogynist/manosphere transmasc """"activism""". it is also intended to be a time capsule, data to be collated and archived for future transgender people to find.

i also run @guyfemme which is a similar project about documenting queer effeminacy and the femme identity, particularly in gay transmascs when possible.

when i'm feeling better i want to work on designing things, making more art in physical mediums, making zines, and researching how to open an online shop. these are all tasks i've been procrastinating from since like. 2019.

anyway i hope everyone has a good tdov. smiles